"Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?"
— Chris, Team America: World Police
- The Trope Namer and provider of the quote in the trope's main page, from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: "I'm gonna cut his heart out with a spoon!" Exclaimed by the Sheriff of Nottingham. The Sheriff's Dragon, Guy of Gisbourne, lampshades the trope, asking why he doesn't use a more suitable implement. The Sheriff snaps, "Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more!"
- When he does kill Guy with a sword, the last words he says to him: "Well at least I didn't use a spoon."
- Referenced in The Postman where the title character jokingly says "Don't make me use this" while pointing a spoon towards one of his allies. Both films share a star.
- Another great one from a Kevin Costner vehicle is Big Bad Deacon's threat from Waterworld where he promises that if he even encounters The Mariner again, "I'm gonna cut open his head, and I'm gonna EAT HIS BRAIN!"
- In Avengers: Endgame, Thor watches two of his buddies from Asgard play Fortnite, consistently losing to a guy named "noobmaster69." Thor gets on the voice chat and threatents him thus:Thor: If you don't log off this game immediately, I'm gonna fly over to your house, find that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms, and shove them up your butt!
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End:Pirate Lord: Shoot him [Barbossa]!
Another Pirate Lord: Cut out his tongue!
Jack Sparrow: Shoot him and cut out his tongue! Then shoot the tongue!... and trim that scraggly beard - Wat in A Knight's Tale does this rather passionately if not very eloquently:Wat: Uh, betray us, and I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain.
- Airheads: "I'll stab off your neck... With my dick!"
- In The Chronicles of Riddick: "I'm going to kill you with my teacup." He does, too, by striking it against a surface so the lip of the cup becomes serrated, and then embedding it opening-first into the man's chest. Riddick then turns to the remaining mooks and wordlessly holds up a can opener key, placing it in the same spot that his cup was sitting before. The mooks panic and flee.
- In The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, Albert (the titular Thief) he warns that he will "kill and eat" Michael (the titular Lover). This comes back to bite him when after he kills Michael, he is forced to eat his corpse.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty Sergeant Hartman says some winners in Full Metal Jacket, such as "You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck! and, "I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!"
- Parodied in The Simpsons by an angry tow-truck driver; "If I catch you on my turf, I'll rip off your head, vomit down your neck, rip out your heart, show your heart to your head, and shove 'em both down your neck-hole, to which I previously alluded."
- Double Parodied in The Simpsons BY the aforementioned Drill Sergeant Nasty Sergeant Hartman actor R. Lee Ermey playing a "Colonel Hapablap" threatening to "tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party", and then "corpse you up and mail you to mama."
- Also parodied in the Meg Ryan/Matthew Broderick vehicle Addicted to Love, when the aforementioned actors' characters play "MST3K" while observing their former loves via an optical-projection.
- Parodied in The Simpsons by an angry tow-truck driver; "If I catch you on my turf, I'll rip off your head, vomit down your neck, rip out your heart, show your heart to your head, and shove 'em both down your neck-hole, to which I previously alluded."
- Grosse Pointe Blank:Grocer: I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your fuckin' forehead, and I'm gonna fuck the brain hole!
- Major Payne:Payne: I will put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst!
- Toyed with in Hulk Hogan's movie Suburban Commando, when Shep Ramsey (Hogan) almost damages a mean guy's car:Troublemaker: Do you got any idea what we're gonna do to you if we find one itty bitty scratch on them? Any idea?
Shep: Let me guess, you're gonna pound my face, break every bone in my body, then you're gonna drag my body down a gravel road, and feed my remains to a wart hog. Is that about right?Troublemaker: What are you, nuts? This is the 90's, we're gonna sue you. - In State and Main, the movie producer Marty ends a phone call with "I'm gonna rip out your heart and piss on your lungs through the hole in your chest. And my best to Marion."
- Hancock features a few:
- "If you don't move, your head is going up his ass." (And then he proceeds to do just that.)
- "I'm gonna shove your head up his ass, I'm-a shove your head up his ass, and you...you drew the short straw; I'm-a shove your head up my ass."
- "I will break my foot off in your ass, woman!"
- In The Presidio, Lt. Col Caldwell states quietly that he's going to beat up a drunk blowhard in a pool hall with his thumb — this RIGHT thumb... because the left is too powerful for him. Of course, since Our Intrepid Hero is an army man, the ensuing smack down is Exactly What It Says on the Tin. In the same movie, Sgt. Major MacLure tells someone to shut up, on pain of "I'll shove your head so far up your ass, you'll be talking out of your armpit."
- Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny offers Tim Robbins delivering: "I'm going to cut out your eyes and your balls, and put your eyeballs in your ballsacks and your balls in your eye sockets!"
- In Mel Brooks' remake of To Be or Not to Be, Frederick Bronski, after learning that his wife and a dashing Polish flier were having an affair before the war started, and about to go and potentially give his life by pretending to be a Nazi spy he'd killed, forgives the pair — in the event that he doesn't return from Gestapo headquarters. "However if I do come back, you're in a lotta trouble!"
- Johnny Dangerously has this from Roman Maronie...—"I gonna taika you doo-ork, I gonna nail it to dawall! I gonna crusha you boils inna meat grinda! I gonna chopoffa you ahms... I gonna shuvemupa you icehole!"
- In Barb Wire, Colonel Pryzer is good at these. He makes two threats."Let me make this perfectly clear. If Cora D escapes, I will personally rip your heart out of your ass, and shove it back down your throat.""Goddammit Willis, I'm gonna rip you in half!"
- According to RinkWorks.com
, there is a movie which was dubbed into English from another language which featured the immortal line "I will kill you until you are dead from it!"- Well, you know what they say: "People die if they are killed."
- Hot Shots! Part Deux has Saddam Hussein say to President Benson right before delivering his planned coup de grace: "Now I will kill you until you die from it!"
- Priscilla, Queen of the Desert might be an odd source of threatening quotes, but one of Bernadette's many awesome moments is when she says of Adam / Felicia, "One more push, I'm gonna smack his face so hard he'll have to stick his toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth!"
- In the American Dub of Black Mask, Deadpan Snarker tough cop Detective Rock arguably gets one when challenging a Syndicate mook with a shaved head.Mook: You broke my nose!
Rock: That's right. Now get out of here before I take that Mr. Clean head and shove it straight up your ass! - Darwin Mayflower in Hudson Hawk enjoys these. At one point he says, "I'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career!" At another:Darwin: I'll kill your friends, your family, and the bitch you took to the prom!
Eddie: Betty Jo Bialowski? I can get you an address on that, if you want. - Westley's To the Pain speech from The Princess Bride seems to fit better here than within the trope it named:Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. 'To the pain' means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong. Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: Drop. Your. Sword.
Prince Humperdinck: [mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor] - Yellowbeard. El Nebuloso comes up with a plan to have his minions pretend to be killed.Nebuloso: But it must look realistic. Anyone caught overacting I will personally scare to death!
- Agent Sands delivers one of these to a reluctant informant in Once Upon a Time in Mexico: "You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially when that federal officer has paid handsomely for it and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eyehole and skullfucking you to death."
- And then there's Marsellus Wallace from Pulp Fiction, preparing to deal with a rapist:Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:
- Caractacus Potts takes his hair-cutting invention to a funfair which goes haywire on his only customer. At one point during the ensuing chase, the customer yells, "I'll smash your teeth down your throat!"
- At first, Grandpa Potts assumes that Baron Bomburst's threat to "stuff [his] head with cauliflower and feed it to the ducks" if he can't reinvent his son's car is either a joke or an exaggeration. However, the other scientists in the lab assure him that the Baron's threats are never jokes, giving some unpleasant descriptions of what he's done to them (a very tall scientist there claims he was a midget before they started using a stretch rack on him).
- In Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!: "Good. Because if you do I swear to God I will tear you to pieces with my bare hands. Or vicious rhetoric."
- From The Big Lebowski:Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: ...Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. - Clint Eastwood seems to be quite fond of this, as part of the tough guy machos he usually portrays, as shown by following example from the fifth installment of Dirty Harry: "Don't fuck with me, buddy, or I'll kick your ass so hard you'll have to unbutton your collar to shit."
- And from Heartbreak Ridge:Stitch: This babe is whack. She doesn't know what's twelve inches long and white. Nothing! Hey man, no offense, I'm just working on my routine.
Gunny: I'll tell you what's black and bleeding if it don't shut its face. - Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back shows Jay angrily dictating the following message which Bob posts to a website discussing the Bluntman and Chronic movie:"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob."
- One film earlier in Dogma, Rufus the 13th Apostle gave Jay one of his own.
Rufus: Hey! What I just did gave me a fucking migraine! So if you don't pipe down, I'm going to yank your sack off like a paper towel! - In The Warriors: "I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a Popsicle!"
- In Reno 911! The Movie, a Homeland Security agent threatens Jones & Garcia with "...I'm gonna fill a tube sock with oranges, then I'm gonna beat you with it until I juice them! Then I'm gonna drink the juice in front of you! And you're gonna ask me "Why?", but I'm not gonna answer you!"
- In Best in Show, the Larry Miller's character attempts to talk his son down from the roof by stating, "I will gouge your eye out with my thumb! I shit you not, my friend!" In the previous scene, Miller revealed that his job is trying to talk jumpers down, but "they all jump."
- From 21: Cole Williams: "If I see you in here again, I will break your cheekbone with a small hammer. And then I will kill you."
- Pineapple Express:
- All OVER the movie.Robert: You assholes do exactly as I say, or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!
Dale: No! Don't fuck us anywhere! - Or:Ken: War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
- As well as...Matheson: You know you gonna die, right?
Saul: Yeah.
Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you!
- All OVER the movie.
- In Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, the titular character has a misunderstanding with a bartender which results in the following masterpiece deadpan one-liner from Norm Macdonald:Bartender: Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. Ahh... if you don't pay me now, I'm going to uhh... take this swizzle-stick, and uhh... I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole.
- In The '70s spoof J-Men Forever, one of the J-Men indignantly turns down a bribe."I'm going to have you wrapped in the U.S flag and burned personally by the President, in high-octane American gasoline!"
- This is actually hinted at in The Dark Knight. I really don't want to know what the Joker uses that potato peeler for...
- The Whole Nine Yards: when displeased with his lunch order, Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski hits the waiter with this gem, apparently inspired by something Bruce Willis actually said on Matthew Perry's answering machine:"I'm gonna keep the Coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door."
- In Tropic Thunder, Les Grosman threatens the film's director this way if he screws up again.Grosman: My fist is going to be so far up your ass that every time you have a fart it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring.
- In Dans Une Galaxie Près De Chez Vous, the movie based on the Quebecois space adventure comedy, the exasperated captain (usually a Benevolent Boss) has finally lost his patience with the Chronic Backstabbing Disorder case that is the ship's scientist. The blender Makes Sense In Context. The quote, however...Capitaine Charles Patenaude: [waving around a discarded blender] Brad, pull something like that again, and I will cut you to pieces, I will put you in this blender, I will press "Smoothie" and I. WILL. DRINK. YOU.
- In Casino Royale (1967), Woody Allen sputters not-very-intimidating woodyallenisms at a Banana Republic firing squad:Jimmy Bond: You do know of course that this means an angry letter to the Times?
- Sleeper, another Woody Allen movie:Miles: You sit here. I'll go find us something, and don't try anything funny while I'm gone, 'cause you know what you'll get.
Luna: What?
Miles: What? W-w-what will you get? Uh, a... large and painful hickey! - The infamous "French Taunting" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail sometimes dips into this trope.
- In Tower Heist, Slide has this one: "I'm going to blow your face clean off your face!"
- A great example from In the Loop delivered by Malcolm Tucker:I'm gonna fuckin' take your leg off, and I'll... fuckin'... the shin bone! I'm gonna take the shin bone, I'm gonna break it in two and I'm going to fucking stab you to fucking death with it...
- Tank Girl. The title character tells the Big Bad Kesslee (in a Muhammad Ali voice) "I'm gonna hit you so hard, your children will be born bruised!"
- Get Smart. After Bruce and Lloyd all but call him an idiot, Larabee lets out this gem:Larabee: I'm a trained killer, you know. I can kill you with anything in this office. You wanna die by Post-Its? 'Cause I can make that happen.
Agent 91: And that's a slow death.- Then Agent 23 ruins the threat by stapling a report to Larabee's head.
- When describing his training in Remember the Titans, Coach Boone uses this as a motivational toolCoach Boone: We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts... and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work.
- In Analyze This, as Vitti is trying to have a civilized conversation with a rival mobster on the phone:Then I can unblock that angered wish and then hopefully, hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker I'll fucking cut your fucking balls off I'll shove them up your fucking ass, I'll fucking bury you, I'll put ice picks in your eyes, I'll chop your fucking eyeballs, I'll send them to your fucking family so they can eat them for dessert. You understand me?
- In Quigley Down Under, Alan Rickman as the Big Bad Marston, repeats almost word-for-word his Sheriff of Nottingham speech from the Robin Hood movie as a vow: "Quigley! When I get my hands on you I'm going to carve your heart out with a spoon!"
- In Doctor Detroit, Clifford Skridlow makes this threat to "Mom" when he impersonates the Doctor:"Mom, I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck."
- In A Few Good Men, Col. Nathan R. Jessup makes this threat to Kaffee as part of his Villainous Breakdown:"I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head, and piss at your dead skull! You've fucked with the wrong Marine!"
- In Animal House, Dean Wormer has several memorable threats/expressions/vulgarities, all about Delta House."Grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus.""The time has come for someone to put his foot down... And that foot is me.""You'll be out of here like shit through a goose."
- In Trading Places, Clarence Beeks utters this line on the train:"I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain!"
- In Swindle, when Amanda's status as a Closet Geek is revealed:"If any of you say a word about this to anyone, I will kill you in ways that haven't even been invented yet!"
- In Stand by Me: Teddy threatens Pressman this way."I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!"
- Zig Zag (2002): When Mr. Walters reports the robbery to the police, he says, "I find the prick who did this, I'm gonna scoop out his eyeballs and stick 'em right up his ass."
- In Kenny & Company, Kenny and Sherman discuss what they'd like to do to The Bully.Sherman: I'd like to stick his head in the toilet and flush it down until he was drownded!
Kenny: And I'd like to cut off all his fingers and jam them up his nose. - Deacon from Blue Iguana (2018) comes up with individualized death threats for all the protagonists. He plans to stab Eddie's head until it explodes and then shoot him between the head, set Katherine's tits on fire with petrol, cut off Tommy's balls and staple them to his ears, turn Paul's dick into ravioli, and force Cornelius to rape Paul with both his penis and a strap-on at once.
- Doctor at Sea, Jill's father threatens to cut Dr. Sparrow into tiny pieces and trample him into the carpet when he catches him with her while she's drunk and in a compromising position.
- In the unrated cut of Jennifer's Body, upon finding out about his son's death, Jonah's father delivers an extremely graphic and colorfully worded threat to whoever killed him, threatening to castrate him and use his testicles as a door knocker. It's a bit more comical than he intended, though, largely because the actor who plays him, Bill Fagerbakke, uses the same voice that he uses for Patrick Star on SpongeBob SquarePants.Jonah's father: You hear me, you bastard? I'll cut off your nutsack and nail it to my door! Like one of those lion door knockers rich folks got! THAT WILL BE YOUR BALLS!
- Ernest in the Army has Ernest daydreaming himself as a Drill Sergeant Nasty displaying a completely ridiculous looking "military" vehicle that he demands you respect "or I will hack your guts out with a rock, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
- Downplayed in Invasion U.S.A. (1985) when a pimp gets upset that Matt Hunter entered his apartment to ask information.Matt Hunter: You come in this room again and I'll hit you with so many rights you're gonna be begging for a left!
