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"My wife - it's difficult to say what she does - she sells sea shells on the sea shore."
They say that one in seven people are on drugs. Judging by this panel, I'll be honest, my money's on Milton.
Andy Parsons

Milton Hywel Jones (born 16 May 1964) is an English comedian, "that bloke with the weird hair and loud shirts on Mock The Week" according to his tour posters. To be a little more precise, he's a stand-up comedian who has appeared on Mock the Week and once on the comedians edition of Pointless. He has also written numerous radio shows such as The Very World of Milton Jones, Thanks A Lot Milton Jones!, Another Case Of Milton Jones and The House of Milton Jones, the last of which spawned a spinoff TV pilot called Milton Jones House Of Rooms.

He has done four stand-up tours - Live Universe Tour - Part 1: Earth, Lion Whisperer, On The Road and Temple Of Daft. He will start his most current tour, Milton Jones is Out There in September 2017.

Milton has been a comedian for over 20 years, and won the Perrier Award in 1996. His career really took off in 2008, when he joined (and later became a regular) on the BBC2 topical panel show Mock the Week.


Tropes Associated with Milton Jones:

  • Black Comedy Burst: He has plenty of friendly gags (one of his stand-up DVDs got a U rating), but he does occasionally have a darker joke than the rest.
    Milton: [On the subject of teachers] Marking. That's a problem, isn't it? I find, though, if you wrap the child in a mattress before you hit them...
  • Catchphrase: "BOTHER!" in The Very World of Milton Jones.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Prime example of one. Whenever he does stand-up or Mock the Week, there is always a moment of complete silence when everyone is trying to work out what on earth he just said. He also wears Hawaiian shirts and has very messy hair.
    Andy Parsons: Sometimes it's hard to tell which week Milton is mocking.
  • Comically Missing the Point: "I'm the most famous undercover journalist in the world! I could walk into any drug den or illegal betting syndicate and everyone would know who I am!"
  • Don't Explain the Joke: Milton will sometimes do this, usually following very subtle jokes. For instance, he told this one on Mock the Week:
    Milton: I don't know about you, but I often feel like Joseph at the inn in Bethlehem, holding a crib of straws saying, "No. I wanted to see the manager." [While looking over at Andy's side] Manger.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Milton is a Christian, and he intentionally avoids using profanity in his comedy routines.
  • Hurricane of Puns: Basically his entire career. It seems to have worked quite well.
  • Messy Hair: Oh yes. If you see an interview of him WITHOUT the messy hair he instantly looks different.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Don't let the Cloud Cuckoo Lander stage persona fool you. He's clearly switched on and aware of what's happening whenever he performs.
  • Older Than They Look: He was born on May 16th 1964, which makes him 56 as of 2020. While he has aged noticeably in the past few years, he still doesn't look anywhere near that age.
  • Running Gag: "My other grandfather..." As of 2020, he's switched to "My other friend..."
  • Stealth Pun: For some of Milton's gags, he'll trail off before he gets to the punchline.

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