X-Men Noir is a series by Marvel Comics, set in the Marvel Noir universe. X-Men Noir is written by Fred Van Lente with art by Dennis Calero.
The series follows police detective Tom Holloway investigating a reimagined version of the X-Men, who in this version is a powerless gang of criminals. Following the murder of Jean Grey, Holloway hunts down the X-Men throughout New York City, whilst working with his morally dubious chief of police Magnus.
Tropes:
- Academy of Evil: Xavier's School for Exceptionally Wayward Youth is a reform school... but Professor X teaches his students how to be better criminals rather than actually reforming them. He insists that this is a ploy to gain their trust so that they will gradually open up to him and therapy can begin in earnest. In reality, he is developing and studying them to prove his theory that sociopathy is the next stage of human behavioral evolution.
- Adaptation Species Change: The X-Men are not mutants, but rather human criminals who thanks to discredited psychiatrist Charles Xavier believe that sociopathy is "the next state in human behavioral evolution".
- Adaptational Villainy: The X-Men, who in this timeline aren't mutants but sociopaths — and Jean Grey killed Rogue. Professor X himself is the Big Bad of the sequel miniseries.
- Alliterative Name: Thomas Halloway learned lockpicking from a criminal by the name of Horrace Hobbs, the Harlem Houdini.
- Being Tortured Makes You Evil: In X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain, Thomas Halloway is kept in "Project: Wideawake" by Professor Xavier as long as he withholds information from him. Project: Wideawake employs a mixture of blindingly bright lights and deafening sirens to deprive the subject of sleep. After about a week of the treatment, Tommy snaps. He starts acting like, and insisting he be referred to as, his dead twin brother Robert — a sadistic lowlife. He's faking.
- Chronic Hero Syndrome: Thomas "The Angel" Halloway's entire life revolves around heroism — to the point that Professor Xavier diagnoses him with a completely new type of pathology, "heropathy". This is illustrated in their first encounter; Xavier asks Halloway why he cares about the X-Men. Halloway tells him that a woman, Jean Grey, is dead, the police aren't investigating her murder because she was with the X-Men... and he can't live in a world where a killer isn't brought to justice.
- Composite Character: Anna-Marie Rankin is a composite of Rogue and the Mimic, Calvin Rankin.
- Delusions of Eloquence: Hank McCoy does this, in a sort of parody of the mainstream incarnation's Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness.
- Depraved Dwarf: Surprisingly inverted, as the little person Eugene Judd (the Noir version of Puck) is one of the only good guys without any kind of pathology.
- Diesel Punk: X-Men Noir is among the least fantastic of the Marvel Noir settings, but it introduces one dieselpunk element in the story Mark of Cain: the Office of National Emergency's Dirigi-Carrier.
- Dirty Cop: The Brotherhood, Chief Magnus' private task force dedicated to controlling the criminal element from within. Magnus is dedicated to the pursuit of justice, but as he says, "laws only work on the law-abiding".
- Double Caper: In X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain, Thomas Halloway and his ersatz X-Men (Cyclops, Captain Logan, and Eugene Judd) are hired by Halloway's old father figure Cain Marko to steal the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak from a temple in Madripoor. When they deliver the gem, Marko double-crosses them; he paid them in newspaper. They don't go after Marko — because someone beat them to it. They decide to track down Marko's killer instead, reasoning that whoever did him in must now have the gem.
- Driven to Suicide: Warren Worthington jumped off the roof of Professor Xavier's reform school after learning the truth about Jean and just how twisted she really is. The X-Men are convinced the police did him in so they'd have an excuse to arrest Xavier; the police are convinced Xavier's tutelage drove him over the edge.
- Faking the Dead: Jean Grey fakes her death by killing Anne-Marie Rankin, cutting off/out any distinguishing facial features, and dyeing her hair. She then assumes her identity by dyeing her own hair. Why? She wanted out of the X-Men, essentially — and to collect her trust fund, of course.
- Fauxreigner: Chief Magnus inverts this; a Transian native who emigrated to the US, he took diction lessons for sixteen months to achieve a perfect American accent.
- Frame-Up: Anne-Marie Rankin framed Captain Logan for the murder of Jean Grey by killing her with Wolverine Claws. However, between this and the Orgy of Evidence she provided, Thomas Halloway had her figured for the killer almost immediately.
- Freudian Excuse Denial: Jean Grey's Motive Rant includes lamenting that Professor Xavier never truly accepted that she was always extremely immoral and manipulative.Jean Grey: Nobody touched me, nobody corrupted me. This is me.
- Gambit Roulette: In X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain, Professor Xavier's plan to lure Thomas Halloway out of hiding so that he can study his Chronic Hero Syndrome ultimately hinges on whether or not Halloway is willing to go to the extreme lengths necessary to investigate the death of his father figure Cain Marko. The last time they saw each other, Marko conned Halloway out of a payday, and Marko died on Genosha Bay, a brutal prison situated next to a military base — if Halloway wasn't in the mood to incriminate himself and get sent to Genosha Bay for a guy who ripped him off, the plan would have been a complete bust. Granted, however, this may have been the point all along, to see how far Halloway is willing to take his heroism.
- Hollywood Psych: Charles Xavier is a psychologist who posits that sociopathy is the next step in mankind's psychological evolution. However, contrary to this, most of his X-Men clearly are not sociopaths, as they are shown to be capable of empathy and deeply caring of other people. The one individual who fits the definition of a sociopath perfectly is Jean Grey: she only cares for herself but is adept at faking emotions and manipulating others. It is made clear that Xavier's professional opinion is not to be trusted either, so the inaccuracies in his assessments are probably intentional.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: Cyclops is recast as an ace gunman, thus having him play out a more typical version of this trope than his canon counterpart. Not only that, but he's an actual Cyclops, sporting a possibly blind, possibly glass left eye.
- In Name Only: The X-Men aren't even mutants in this continuity. Instead, Professor Xavier has a theory that The Unfettered are the next stage of human evolution, leading to an entire team of non-powered sociopaths who share names and a couple of character traits with the mutant heroes.
- Malaproper: The Beast is prone to this because he tries to sound smart but reaches farther than his vocabulary can vouch for. He's a very bright kid, though.
- Might as Well Not Be in Prison at All: Warden Halloway gives the prisoners at the Welfare Island Penitentiary free rein to do whatever they want — because crime lord inmate Sean Cassidy is running a heroin trade out of the joint and bought him off with the proceeds.
- Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot:
- Open-and-shut gangland murder → a secret brotherhood of Dirty Cops.
- In X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain: Murder of Cain Marko → a secret government agency training criminals to be the ultimate spies and assassins.
- MockGuffin: In Mark of Cain, the X-Men look for the fabled gem of Cytorrak in the jungles of Madripoor. It eventually turns out to be a worthless fake made of glass. However, the Big Bad actually knew this all along. He's planning to use the fake gem to wrest control of Madripoor from the natives so that he can use it as a prison for creating brainwashed agents to beat the Soviets. It Makes Sense in Context.
- Mythology Gag: The Show Within a Show, a dime novel story titled The Sentinels and written by this universe's version of Bolivar Trask, has several references to the main continuity in rapid succession during its second chapter, as the main character dispatches several 'muties' with distinctive descriptions — one fights with the ferocity of Shakespeare's Caliban, another is a beast who fights with hand-like feet, yet another has skin that feels like that of a leech... you get the idea.
- Named by the Adaptation: Rogue's full name is given as Anna Marie Rankin, as she's a Composite Character with Calvin Rankin, a.k.a. Mimic.
- New Neo City: The backup feature is a parody pulp story set in New New New York.
- Officer O'Hara: Chief Eric Magnus is an Eastern European immigrant cop who is bitter over being discriminated against by the Irish-American cops who dominate the NYCPD; he claims that he failed the Sergeant's Exam three times just because he doesn't have a shred of Irish heritage. It's never explicitly spelled out, but it's notable that none of the members of his clandestine "Brotherhood" are Irish, either.
- Orgy of Evidence: Tommy Halloway/the Angel investigates the murder of Jean Grey, which was clearly done with Wolverine Claws. When he finds the missing X-Man, Anne-Marie Rankin, he's suspicious because she pointed him in the direction of Captain Logan almost immediately after they met. Halloway manages to figure out it couldn't be Logan very quickly, leading to the obvious conclusion that Rankin's trying to frame him — and since Logan's neko de aren't too hard to come by if you know where to look, she likely killed Jean herself.
- The Perfect Crime: Jean Grey kills Anne-Marie Rankin with Wolverine Claws to frame her old pal Captain Logan. She then cuts up all distinguishing facial features and dyes both her and the body's hair, assuming Rankin's identity. The police decide to not investigate the murder when they see an X-Man tattoo on the body, thinking it's not worth taxpayer money to figure out which of "Jean"'s gangland boyfriends got tired of her first. This leaves Jean to wait out the years until "Rankin" turns 21 so she can collect on her trust fund. Oh, and one last thing — Rankin had the unique talent to absorb the personality traits of whoever was around her at the time, meaning Jean was now impersonating someone with no fixed personality; she's just that good of an actress. Robert Halloway figures it for the perfect crime... at least until he and his brother got involved and screwed it all up for her. One detail of such is that the body has apparently shrunk since it died, exposing the roots of its hair. That, or the cops didn't look closely at the body.
- Polar Opposite Twins: Thomas and Robert Halloway are, respectively, a know-it-all afflicted with Chronic Hero Syndrome and a crude, violent sadist. It's probably important to note that they were adopted by different families after their father died.
- Red Baron: Newspapers call Professor Xavier "the Professor of Crime"; his X-Men all have nicknames of their own, but they seem to have given them to each other. There are also the various criminals who taught young Tommy Halloway the tricks of the trade: Horace "Harlem Houdini" Hobbs, Orville "The Gentleman" Whitwell, and Cain "The Juggernaut" Marko.
- Secondary Character Title: The protagonist is actually Thomas "The Angel" Halloway
,note a mostly forgotten Timely Comics character who spends the story investigating the murder that kicks off the plot. "The X-Men" are a fugitive gang of teenage criminals who are suspected of said murder and end up helping Halloway take down the real perpetrators by the end. - Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: This version of the Beast, while genuinely intelligent (but not to the exaggerated levels of the canon one), goes out of his way to use larger words that he doesn't quite understand because it gives him a stronger air of intelligence.
- Show Within a Show: Bolivar Trask's sci-fi pulp series The Sentinels. For bonus points, the original series features chapters from The Sentinels as back-ups.
- The Social Darwinist: Professor Xavier is an actual psychiatrist, and as such, his spin on this is unique: he believes that sociopaths are the next stage in human behavioral evolution. Chief of Detectives Eric Magnus, meanwhile, believes that the criminal element is hereditary and genetic — and has to be contained or eliminated for the good of society. Emma Frost, an old student of Xavier's, combines the two ideas as warden at Genosha Bay, but also theorizes that sociopathy is communicable.
- Stylistic Suck: The series features a series of backup prose stories — The Sentinels by Bolivar Trask — parodying old pulp science fiction stories. Thomas Halloway reads them and even uses them to interrogate Professor Xavier. Considering the style and subject, this is almost certainly a reference to The Iron Dream. (Ironically, Trask comes across as rather egalitarian by 1930s standards; in his story, the "perfect race" is formed by combining racial characteristics, and the mutant underclass turns out to be misunderstood. This is also ironic considering that in the main Marvel Universe, Bolivar Trask is the bigoted scientist behind the mutant-hunting Sentinel robots.)
- Super Breeding Program: Bolivar Trask writes in-universe fiction, The Sentinels, depicting a universe where what remains of humanity after an Apocalypse How is ruled by a 'Council of Breeders' who are engaging in one of these, producing humans with the best traits of all the races. However, they have also bred out things like 'joy' and 'spontaneity' in their attempts to make humans perfect.
- Tattooed Crook: All of Xavier's original X-Men have an "X" tattooed somewhere on their body, and all of them are master criminals in the making. In Mark of Cain, prisoners at Genosha Bay are marked with an "M" tattoo over their right eye. This is ostensibly to signify that they pose a "maximum" risk should they ever be transferred to another facility, but functionally, it serves as an automatic identifier should they manage to escape.
- Twin Switch: Thomas and Robert Halloway made a game of making people think there was only one of them when they were kids. After their father died, they were adopted by different families — but when they met up as adults, Robert insisted on keeping up the game. If anything, you could probably consider this an inversion; they used this trick so their singular identity could be in two places at once.
- Vomiting Cop: Rookie Peter Magnus asks for a mint on the way to the crime scene for his first murder case. His veteran partner Fred Dukes refuses to give him one. When they see the body, Peter pukes; Fred didn't give him the mint because he knew that would happen and he would've just wasted it. This is a case where anyone would have done the same, though — the woman was missing her eyes, her nose, her upper lip...
- Wolverine Claws: This version of Wolverine keeps his claws, but they're changed into something appropriate for the 1930s time period and mundane tone — a pair of Japanese neko de.
- Zeppelins from Another World: One of the few fantastic things to be found in any of the Marvel Noir stories is the O*N*E Dirigi-Carrier seen in X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain. And boy is it ever fantastic: it's a colossal battleship kept airborne by virtue of having several Hindenburg-like zeppelins strapped to its underside.
