Characters / Troll Cops

The characters of Homestuck as portrayed in Troll Cops.

Cops

Sollux Captor

• Eye Beams: His weapon, forgoing a traditional police sidearm.
• Fang Thpeak: Sollux's dialogue is written as Funetik Fang Thpeak about as often as it is with his typing quirk.
• Glowing Eyes: It saves the APD on its electric bills.
• Good Cop/Bad Cop: Plays both roles due to his bipolar disorder.
• Interdisciplinary Sleuth: His hacking skills have come in handy to bag quite a few criminals.

• Massive Numbered Siblings: Sollux has three older brothers, two older sisters, and two younger sisters. He's the last to settle down and start a family of his own.
• Momma's Boy: Sollux is the only troll shown to be on good terms with his Mama. The others are either estranged or deceased.
• Officer O'Hara: In the Wigmund canon, the Captor family is reimagined as the troll version of the stereotypical Irish-American cop family.
• Pursuing Parental Perils: Sollux's father was a cop as well.
• Technicolor Eyes: A side effect of exposure to the Green Sun.

Terezi Pyrope

• The Commissioner Gordon: Although AR is technically the Commissioner, Terezi fits this trope better as she's the APD's most reliable contact with Crowbro.
• Cowboy Cop: Terezi is eccentric, tactless, and prone to taking justice into her own hands. That said, she's still universally regarded as the best investigator the APD has.
• Dating Catwoman: Yes, Dave is defending the city, but he's still technically a criminal vigilante.
• Disability Superpower: She developed the ability to smell and taste color after she was blinded. It's implied that these powers come from exposure to the Green Sun, much like Sollux's psionics.
• Eye Scream: She was looking at the Green Sun when it exploded.
• Handicapped Badass: Thanks to her Disability Superpower, she isn't hampered by her blindness and can go toe-to-toe with some of the worst criminals the city has to offer.
• The Hyena: Giggles constantly, which gets on the nerves of people who aren't used to her.
• Logical Weakness: Her reliance on her sense of smell as her principal sense leaves her in a tough position when confronted with things that have a naturally overpowering smell, like cleaning chemicals or the sewers.
• Moment Killer: Much to her own chagrin, as she's a Shipper on Deck for Sollux and Feferi, but her almost reflexive constant giggling derails numerous potentially romantic moments between them.
• The Nose Knows: In addition to her ability to smell color, Terezi's sense of smell is just plain better than other people's.
• Shipper on Deck: For Sollux and Feferi. She spent the whole time from "Captor and Culler" all the way to "Motherly Advice" trying to get them to make it official, a period that in-universe lasted for two whole years.

Equius Zahhak

• Big Brother Instinct: Very protective of his younger brother Horuss.
• Decomposite Character: Canon Equius's trait of being a genius roboticist is here given to his younger brother Horuss Jr.
• Every Man Has His Price: Bribed his way into the job.
• Fantastic Racism: His discrimination against lower bloods and non-trolls has led to lawsuits.
• Genius Bruiser: Immediately after KO'ing a criminal with his STRENGTH, he is able to conduct a thorough examination of the criminal's gun on the spot.
• I Let Gwen Stacy Die: His brother's death is a big part of what motivates him.
• Noble Bigot with a Badge: Still a classist asshole clinging to the long-defunct Hemospectrum, but generally considered incorruptible and one of only five officers that the Oracle implicitly trusts, which says a lot.
• Rebel Prince: While not as extreme an example as the others on this page, Equius's highblooded family weren't really on board with the whole "becoming a policeman" thing. They eventually change their tune after his brother Horuss is murdered.
• Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Manly Man to his brother Horuss's Sensitive Guy.

Aradia Megido

• Car Fu: The rarer non-driving variant; see below.
• Divergent Character Evolution: After Aradiabot's creation, Tavros rescues the real Aradia and nurses her back to health, preening her to become The Baroness and The Dragon.
• Emotionless Girl: Usually. Being a robot doesn't really lend itself to expressing emotions.
• Mind over Matter: She throws cars into offices!
• Only Mostly Dead: After her soul is copied into a robot, Aradia's family opts to pull the plug on her comatose body. Unbeknownst to everyone, her body was recovered and nursed back to health by Tavros, until she finally awakens in "Arisen".
• Robot Girl: When an unfortunate encounter with the Mindfang Pirates puts Aradia in a coma she's not expected to wake up from, her soul is copied into a robotic shell and put back into service. Sollux refuses to work with her, though, insisting the robot isn't truly Aradia, so she's instead partnered with Equius.
• Unlucky Childhood Friend: She and Sollux were Childhood Friend Sweethearts, and stayed together through the Academy and their entry onto the force. Then she died.

Vriska Serket

• Dirty Cop: Not only is Vriska using her position as dispatch officer to sell information to Mr. Pupa and other criminals, but she's also secretly the leader of the Mindfang Pirates, one of the city's six major criminal organizations.
• Donut Mess with a Cop: The dispatch desk almost always has a box of donuts on it somewhere. It's actually made her something of a...
• Freudian Excuse: Was abused as a child and grew up mistrustful of everyone.

• Mission Control: As the dispatch officer.
• Mind Control: Pupa slips a wedding ring on her finger, and the next thing she knows, she has no free will.
• A Pirate 400 Years Too Late: Her alter ego, Marquise Spinneret of the Mindfang Pirates.
  • The Mindfangs in general have this in common.
• Token Evil Teammate: For the APD when she's working with Mr. Pupa.

• Weight Woe: Her love of donuts and sedentary dispatch desk job have resulted in her packing on a few extra pounds. She's very sensitive about this.

AR

• Badass Bureaucrat: His position as the Commissioner means he's typically behind a desk, but that's no reason to underestimate him.
• The Commissioner Gordon: While he ironically hasn't been this since his promotion to Commissioner, he was the Commissioner Gordon for the Watchful Vigilante before WV was elected Mayor.
• Da Chief: In many canons, including Wigmund's and the Radio Play's.
• A Father to His Men: A bit more literally than usual; in the radio canon, he really is Terezi's adoptive father.

Criminals

Mr. Pupa

• The Chessmaster: He literally has a chessboard with pieces representing the major players in the city, and always seems to be in control of the situation even when unforeseeable circumstances force him to engage in a little Xanatos Speed Chess.
• Fiction 500: Nitram Enterprises, a major firm dealing mostly in real estate.

• Obfuscating Disability: The wheelchair lulls his foes into a false sense of security. Then he makes a run for it on his robotic legs.

• Shame If Something Happened: He has used this in Silken Net and 'Blind Girl Bluff''.
• Speaks Fluent Animal: It's actually telepathy, but it still counts.
• Used to Be a Sweet Kid: He's Tavros aged up a few years.
• Would Hurt a Child: Is willing to use his own daughter as a hostage against betrayal by Vriska.
• You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: One of the biggest reasons it's dangerous to get involved with him in the first place. He's attempted this on Vriska in "Disentangled", SEER in "Excision", and the Karkat Gang in "Would You Kindly?", just to name a few.

Karkat Vantas

• Big Brother Instinct: He will do anything to protect his gang. Anything.
• Deal with the Devil: Made the mistake of making one of these with Mr. Pupa.

• Oblivious to Love: Nepeta adores Karkat. Even Gamzee figures it out before he does.
• Raised by Dudes: In the rare canons where there is an adult figure in his upbringing, it's typically Spades Slick and the Midnight Crew.
• Street Urchin: Ran away from the orphanage after the Disaster, figuring he'd have a better chance out on the streets than in the foster care system.

Nepeta Leijon

• Beware the Nice Ones: Particularly if she gets her paws on any sort of alcohol.

• The Navigator: Has a fantastic sense of direction, and can tell you where you are and which direction you're going from just about anywhere in the city. This is especially useful when traveling through the sewers to avoid notice.
• Shapeshifting: She can turn into a getaway "Car Cat".
• She Is All Grown Up: Karkat is the last one to notice.
• Street Urchin: Orphaned at an extremely young age, she's been living on the streets with Karkat for most of her life.

Gamzee Makara

• Awesomeness by Analysis: When he sobers up, he defeats five Felt members by himself.
• Hammerspace Hair: Stashes Faygo up there, at the very least.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Even when stoned off his gourd, he's far more aware of what's going on than anyone realizes.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: If anything happens that leaves Gamzee legitimately shaken despite his perpetual brain haze, Karkat knows shit's just gotten real.
• Power Degeneration: Gamzee when sober is a quick-thinking, quick-moving, hyper-perceptive badass who can go toe-to-toe with five members of the Felt at once and win. However, enduring the sheer amount of sensory input for more than a few minutes is physically crippling and he needs to tamp it down with drugs that've been described as "a sledgehammer to the skull" to avoid suffering a complete mental burnout.
• Raised by Grandparents: His parents were around when he was little, but they were drunk most of the time, leaving his upbringing largely to his grandfather, "The Old Goat".
• Rebel Prince: His high blood caste stands out among his lowblooded gangmates.
• The Stoner: Turns out the sopor slime keeps him from suffering a complete mental burnout.
• Street Urchin: Though he wasn't always this way.

Don Strider

• Clone Angst: Has led to him being far more open with his emotions; see below.
• Divergent Character Evolution: Don Strider quickly begins developing a different personality from Dave. Don is much more open with his emotions, thinking that he can die at any time due to being a paradox clone.
• The Don: Takes the title as his name to distinguish himself from Alpha Dave.
• His Name Really Is "Barkeep": His name is Don, and he's the Don of the Strider Mafia.
• Me's a Crowd: The Strider Mafia is made up of Daves.
• Significant Haircut: Or rather, significant lack of one. In "Take It All In Stride", he lets his hair and beard grow for two years before zapping back to the present. It further signifies his Divergent Character Evolution, showing how truly different from Alpha Dave he is now.

Vigilantes

Egbertman (alias John Egbert)

• Badbutt: Although the Radio Play as a whole has undergone Bowdlerization to fit with FCA guidelines, Egbertman is the most noticeable instance of this trope, due to the personal convictions of his VA.
• Berserk Button: Threatening children. When John finds out Mr. Pupa is keeping Vriska's daughter as a hostage, Kanaya notes that it's the angriest she's ever seen him.
• Beware the Nice Ones: Just like in Homestuck, John is one of the nicest characters you'll ever meet, but don't you DARE pick on Vriska! You have been warned.
• Bodyguard Crush: He's clearly smitten with her, and vice versa, and after they rescue Portia they officially start dating.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: It's not uncommon for Mooks to underestimate the sudden appearance of "some derpy kid in a blue hood."
• Ditzy Genius: On the one hand, he's a brilliant ectobiologist. On the other hand, it's John.

• Good Feels Good: One of his biggest motivators
• The Hero: In the Grey and Gray Crapsack World of Alternia City, Egbertman is the most unambiguously heroic paragon the people have to look up to.
• Jumped at the Call: Was thrilled for the chance to help people by becoming a superhero.
• The Pollyanna: Always looks on the bright side of life.
• Stupid Scientist: John's day job is ectobiologist, and while his derpiness doesn't generally affect his results, he's as much The Fool as ever.
• Super-Strength: A power granted by one of his Artifacts. Depending on the Writer, it's either from his ring or his hammer.
• Thou Shalt Not Kill: Being a far more idealistic hero than the Crowfamily, he holds himself to this standard.

Crowbro (alias Dave Strider)

• Anti-Hero: Unlike Egbertman, Crowbro has no qualms killing criminals.
• Berserk Button: He does not like it when Don starts becoming his own person.

• Legacy Character: Dave took up the ways of the crow after Bro was murdered.
• Me's a Crowd: See above. Crowbro is the original Dave Strider.

Seppucrow (alias Bro Strider)

• Death by Origin Story: A young Dave watched the Midnight Crew murder Bro in cold blood, leading him to take up the mantle of Crowbro.
• Embarrassing First Name: Ambrose "Bro" Strider.
• Katanas Are Just Better: His sword, which ironically ended up being used to kill him.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: Well, with a name like Ambrose what did you expect?

The Cuttlefish Culler (alias Feferi Peixes)

• Art Evolution: Her original costume had pipe cleaners as tentacles.
• Expy: Of Doctor Octopus.
• Heel–Face Revolving Door: She's a supervillain just as often as she's a superhero. As a general rule, on any given day she'll be whichever will get her close to Sollux.
• Meaningful Name/Mythology Gag: cuttlefishCuller is Feferi's trolltag in Homestuck.
• Orphanage of Love: One of her alter egos runs one of these.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Sollux sees through it immediately. No one else does.
  • Her multitasking civilian life is full of this as well. Feferi can't possibly be the troll at the orphanage because that troll wears green goggles while Feferi wears pink!
  Sollux: Actually, all you change iith your goggleth. Only an iidiiot wouldn't notithe. But then, the thiity iith overrun wiith iidiiotth.
• Punch-Clock Villain: She only breaks the law to attract the attention of a certain mustard-blooded policetroll...

The Magpie (alias Maggie Strider)

• Kid from the Future: She used the Timetables to zap back to the present to avert a disaster in the future. The disaster averted, she's now stuck here because her actions have caused the timeline she originated in to no longer exist.
• Knight Templar: At least until "S.E.E.ing Double", when Rose takes her down a peg or two and explains the true nature of the city's Grey-and-Gray Morality.
• Laser Blade: Her weapon, a technology that hasn't been invented yet that she brought with her from the future.
• Legacy Character: In the footsteps of Dave and Bro.
• Magpies as Portents: A thematic choice she deliberately invokes.

• Mysterious Parent: She is the "daughter of Strider," but remains tight-lipped about which Strider is her father, Dave or Don.
  • She also refuses to take her hood off, which would reveal by absence or presence of horns if she was Jade's (and therefore Don's), or Terezi's (and therefore Dave's), daughter.
• Set Right What Once Went Wrong

Space Lass (alias Jade Harley)

• Back from the Dead : Don goes to the underworld to retrieve her.
• Brainy Brunette: Dark hair? Check. Multiple master's degrees in various fields of physics by the age of 19? Check.
• Daddy's Girl: Hass Harley doted over Jade when he was alive and continued to look after her in the afterlife, until he was sure she would be safe returning to the world of the living with Don.
• Gadgeteer Genius: Unlike the other heroes of SEER, who derive their powers from Skaian Artifacts, Space Lass's powers are tied to Powered Armor of her own design.
• The Mole: Works for the military as a researcher, but secretly sneaks dangerous Skaian artifacts to SEER.
• Raised by Grandparents: Her parents died when she was very young, so she was sent to live with her doting Grandpa.

Civilians

Eridan Ampora, Private Eye

• Badass Longcoat: Eridan is deliberately trying to invoke this. When Kanaya shortens the hem in "The Case of the Missing Licorice", Eridan wonders aloud how he's supposed to look badass now.
• Determinator: When he stops being a huge drama queen and actually buckles down on a case, he's quite effective.
• Ensemble Dark Horse: In many canons, Eridan is the main character. On the DeviantArt Tumblr, almost all of the Q&A questions are addressed to Eridan, and even more are answered by him.
• Hardboiled Detective: Tries to be this. His degree of success varies Depending on the Author.
• Large Ham: Generally varies inversely with degrees of Hardboiled Detective above.
• Occult Detective: Many of his cases have a paranormal bent to them, particularly after he joins SEER.
• Private Detective: Trained by Problem Sleuth, no less.
• Private Eye Monologue: Stories with him as the focus frequently have him narrating in this manner.
• Rebel Prince: Ran away from his highblooded family to become a Private Detective.
• Red Pill, Blue Pill: Once Eridan finds out too much about SEER, he's given the chance to join them. He does, partly because the Magpie implies that the other option is his death, and partly because the Crowbro Cave has hot running water!
• Stock Costume Traits: Is typically portrayed in the traditional Hardboiled Detective manner, except he's trying to emulate Sherlock Holmes.
• Unlucky Everydude: What? You expected Eridan to get a date? Get real.

Dr. Kanaya Maryam

• Back from the Dead: As a rainbow drinker.
• Bodyguard Crush: Unofficially fills the role of Rose's bodyguard in the SEER hierarchy.

• Combat Medic: Not only is she the on-call medic for both SEER and the APD, but between the chainsaw and the vampirism she can more than hold her own in a fight.

• Died in Your Arms Tonight : With Rose. She recovered...sort of.

• The Medic: Runs a private practice with her parents, in addition to being the medical examiner and doctor-on-call for the police station, AND the Combat Medic for SEER.
• The Mole: An interesting example. She sneaks confiscated Skaian artifacts from the APD's vault and brings them to S.E.E.R. In other words, she's The Mole in the good guys' organization, working for the other good guys.

• Our Vampires Are Different: When she and Rose are playing in the sewers as children, they're ambushed by an ogre and Kanaya is killed. Rose fights off the ogre with the Thorns of Oglogoth, then uses the Thorns to revive Kanaya. Now a rainbow drinker, Kanaya goes into a trance, ascends to ground level, and murders and feeds on Gamzee's entire family, who were passing at the time.
• Violently Protective Girlfriend: And how!

Rose Lalonde, Oracle of SEER

• Black Magic: Former user of this with the Thorns of Oglogoth.
• Blind Seer: She loses her sight in "Excision" when a military-grade flash grenade goes off while she's looking directly at it. She lampshades the trope, noting that she's now like the Seers of old, and that her visions have been hinting that something like this would happen for some time.

• Magic Wand: Rose uses one of three sets of wands known to exist.
• Mission Control: Is more suited to dispatching the others to retrieve Skaian artifacts than getting them herself.
• Necromancer: Inadvertently. It technically applies because she was able to bring Kanaya Back from the Dead using the Thorns of Oglogoth.

• White Magic: The Quills of Echidna, which are described as drawing their power from the force of life as a concept, rather than feeding from the energy of individuals.

Portia Nitram

• Babies Make Everything Better: Averted at first; Tavros simply uses her as added security against Vriska. Later played straight when John rescues both Portia and Vriska, helping to convince the others at SEER to accept Vriska's Heel–Face Turn.
• Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter: Okay, so she's just a baby, but she's likely to grow into one of these.
• Meaningful Name: She's named after a genus of intelligent spiders.
• Noodle Incident: That one time Maggie babysat for her. When John and Vriska got home, Maggie is tied to the wall by a copious amount of what looks like spider webbing.

• Shame If Something Happened: Tavros simply sees her as another safeguard against a possible betrayal by Vriska.

• Tyke Bomb: It's implied that Pupa was trying to turn her into one of these. Fortunately John rescues her before he can have too much of an influence.

Mama Captor

• Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: On fullest display in "Motherly Advice". No son wants to hear his mother talking about sex with his girlfriend.

• I Want Grandkids: One of the reasons she gives for setting Sollux up with Feferi.

• Open-Minded Parent: Sollux is actually embarrassed by this trait.

• Team Mom: In addition to her own eight children, she considers anyone who is close to her son practically family. Aradia, Feferi, and Terezi are all among those who call her "Mama".

Dr. Horuss Zahhak Jr.

• Death by Origin Story: : His murder is one of Equius's biggest drives as a cop.
• Gadgeteer Genius: One of the top cyberneticists in the city.
• He Knows Too Much: He tried to outfit rich cripple Tavros Nitram with robotic legs. As far as the general public knows, Horuss was unable to finish his task before his untimely demise. By killing him, Pupa is able to keep secret the fact that Horuss in fact succeeded.
• Original Character: Word of God has it that Horuss Jr. is not the Horuss from canon; rather, that Horuss is Horuss III, Equius's son from the same future that the Magpie hails from.
• Posthumous Character: Murdered before the series begins.
• Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Sensitive Guy to Equius's Manly Man.

Hass "The Flame" Harley

• Adventurer Archaeologist: Travelled the world as one of these before returning to Alternia City to retire and raise Jade.
• Doting Parent: Doting Grandparent, rather, but as Jade's Guardian he did dote on her even in death.
• Fiction 500: Inherited a fortune, which he used to fund his Adventurer Archaeologist and Gadgeteer Genius tendencies. Also inherited ownership of the technology firm Skaianet, which allowed him to sustain above fortune.
• Gadgeteer Genius: The first person to study the Skaian Artifacts, then turning around and applying his findings to his own inventions, such as the transportalizer.

• Posthumous Character: A vital character in Jade's and Rose's backstories, whose work provided the whole basis on which SEER was founded, but he died two years before SEER's founding. He does appear in flashbacks, though, and during Don's mission to the afterlife in "Here After".
• Retired Badass: Formerly a globetrotting Adventurer Archaeologist, he retired to Harley Tower twelve years before the Green Sun Disaster to focus on academic work and raising Jade.

Andrew Hussie

• Author Avatar: Originally, but now the fans have control.

• Cloud Cuckoolander: Mentally, he's living in another world. Literally.

• Fourth Wall Shut-In Story: "The Man in the Green Robe" reveals that he appeared in the Troll Cops universe at ground zero of the Green Sun explosion, with the implication that it really is our world's Andrew Hussie warped into the Troll Cops universe. However, unlike most stories of this type, he's not the protagonist, rather just a recurring crazy homeless person with a healthy dose of Wrong Genre Savvy.
• Genius Ditz: For all his quirks, he is able to bellow out an accurate recap of the entire city's backstory.
• Incoming Ham: "I AM THE AVATAH OF THE CREATORE!"

• Spanner in the Works: He's the biggest blank spot in Doc Scratch's omniscience.
• Wrong Genre Savvy: Oh so much. He seems to think that everything should play out as it does in Homestuck, and rejects the existence of the Alternate Universe he finds himself in.

Mayor WV

• Genius Ditz: Is a pretty decent administrator for the city... sometimes.
• Retired Badass: In one canon, he was formerly the Watchful Vigilante, a proud defender of the city with his trusty firefly sidekick Serenity by his side, spreading the light of justice in the dark underbelly of the city. He's supposedly the reason that the Felt is no longer the dominant mob in the city anymore.
• Ultimate Authority Mayor: Justified to an extent as the main characters are high-ranking police officers, and after the Commissioner, the Mayor is just one step up.

Sam, the Voice of Alternia City

• Catchphrase: "Tonight on Alternia City Tonight."
  • "Goddammit, Ross."
• Expy: Of Cecil Gershwin Palmer.

• Original Character: Specifically created for the Radio Play.

Intern Ross

• Original Character: Specifically created for the Radio Play.
• Phrase Catcher: "Goddammit, Ross!''