This page is about the characters in the sitcom Time Gentlemen Please. Your everyday pub staff and alcohol— er, we mean booze bees.
The Guv
The Guv's...well, the Guv of the pub, which is eventually called the Cowshed. He's this show's version of The Pub Landlord, and very much shows the same misogynistic, xenophobic and patriotic characteristics. He's a mild Bad Boss, but still manages to be likeable.
- Catchphrase: While everyone in the show have their own variety of catchphrases, the Guv's catchphrases are most used by a single character. He rounds up a total of FIFTEEN throughout the series - if there was ever such a thing as King of Catchphrases, the Guv would suit this perfectly.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: When the Frenchman who his wife left him for comes to see him and tells The Guv that his wife (Guv's ex-wife) left him for a German, Guv realizes he didn't do anything to drive her off and that she's just a horrible fickle woman. This knowledge that he's blameless fully restores his confidence as a pub owner and as a man.
- Embarrassing Nickname: "Slops," which Greg Thompson gave him at Landlord Academy after catching him eating actual slops.
- Freudian Excuse: His first memories are of his mother leaving him as a baby to go on holiday. His wife left him for a Frenchman and took their son with her. Everybody around him has been leaving him his whole life.
- Hates Being Alone: His son's with his ex-wife in France, starting his abandonment issues and one of his many catchphrases "I miss my boy, that's all!" and "I'm so alone!" He gets over it by the final episode.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Given his views and some of his interactions, yeah. But he's a good sport, caring about his long-serving pub regulars and Steve. While he dislikes Vicki Jackson, he's good enough to defend her from Janet's own Jerkass comments when she's first assumed to be dying and then was revealed to be pregnant. Plus he cares for his son and then mice in "Of Mice and Mentalists".
- Mean Boss: He sometimes abuses Steve with a punch, doesn't pay his staff, and his misogynistic views creates some conflict between himself, Janet and later, Connie.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: He was never confused! Never! Confused!
Steve Crosby
The Guv's abused, unpaid 20-something worker. He's naive, but also has Undying Loyalty to the Guv. If you want someone to exclaim "But that's impossible!" to anything unnatural, Steve's the man for the job.
- Blatant Lies: He insists to Dean aka Postie that he's only working in the bar as a temporary thing, despite working and living there for five years.
- Catchphrase: "But that's impossible!"
- Undying Loyalty: Towards the Guv. No matter what the Guv does to him, Steve's always willing to be by his side for him.
Terry Brooks
One of the pub regulars, Terry is one of the longest-serving customers, as well as the Guv's best friend, though the Guv never admits it a lot. Just like his best friend, Terry shares the Guv's out-dated misogynistic views, though his are more sexually depraved.
- The Alcoholic: Terry's drinking is so prolific that the reason he's never had a hangover despite years of heavy drinking is because he has never stopped drinking enough to sober up.
- Catchphrase: "That is the woman I am gonna marry."
- Extreme Omnisexual: He'll do anything to anything, as his motto is "A mouth's a mouth". This includes men in drag, the elderly and even animals, especially stuffed ones.
- Hangover Sensitivity: When the pub runs dry and Terry is forced to sober up, he is suddenly hit with every hangover he missed. Forcing him to experience every symptom at so many times the normal intensity that it nearly kills him.
The Prof/ Algernon
The pub's supposed intellectual, although this is more of a nickname than a proper title. He is a massive fan of science fiction shows, making him the pub nerd. His mother dominates him, though he looks gleefully at any opportunities to get away from her whenever he can.
- Black Comedy: There are obvious hints that he's the "notorious railway station flasher", as well as a homosexual serial killer. It's flat-out stated in "Playing Silly Buggers", where two surveillance police officers receive a tape from the Prof, who gloats at the fact that none the the cops can find him.
- Blatant Lies: Whenever he talks about his serial killer and flasher personas and his feelings for the Guv; he always retracts what he says with things like, "...from what I've heard."
- Embarrassing First Name: Algernon. The entire pub call out his name in surprise when learning it from his mum.
- Only Known By His Nickname: His real name is rarely touched upon, being used only when his mother is around.
- Shout-Out: He always brings up any science fiction shows he can relate to, namely Doctor Who and Star Trek.
- Sophisticated as Hell: He has a tendency to talk in a very stereotypical 'smart' manner, rarely using contractions. If he gets frustrated, he breaks away from this persona and talks normally, such as when saying "Can someone please get me a FUCKING DRINK?!"
The Old Man
The pub's oldest customer, the Old Man's been ordering ever since the Guv's father was landlord. His name is never revealed, as he feels that some things are best left unknown. His Catholicism is one of his key character traits, brought up every now and then. A running gag is his apparent immortality, claiming to have lived for centuries.
Janet
The first barmaid seen in the show. She hails from Australia.
- But Now I Must Go: She leaves at the end of season one after her old boyfriend tracks her down.
- In the Blood: Guv claims all Ozzies are bred for barwork, saying "It's instinct!"
- The Lad-ette: Lewd, rude, and crude.
- Stronger Than They Look: She's physically small but strong enough to hurl full kegs of beer around with one hand.
Connie
Janet's replacement. A student at the local University.
- Hypocrite: Despite claiming that the Guv's prejudices about students are incorrect, she quite often shows them herself, being lazy and being more interested in parties and social climbing than work.
- It's All About Me: Her general stance, especially when it comes to her studies.
- Skewed Priorities: She considered a test (whose results count for 0.3 % of her final grade) being more important than saving Terry's life.
Leslie And Lesley
A couple of Two Pub regulars who sit in the cornerThe Grand Order of the Barstewards
The heads of the landlord community, they hold power over the community, though they're not ruthless. Instead, they're very loyal to the code of the pub, being nice people. Ms Jackson is a member, while the other members are Barry, Mike and Dave.
"Uncle" Barry
- Can't Spit It Out: Can't admit that he is actually the Guv's father
- Catchphrase: "You're doing fine!"
- Guv, I Am Your Father: As mentioned above, he is the Guv's biological father.
Mike and Dave
- Like an Old Married Couple: Most of their arguments are like this.
- Those Two Guys: Always seen together.
Ms. Jackson
- Catchphrase: "Hello!"/"Do you remember (thing from the 90s)?"
- I Just Want to Have Friends: In the first season finale, she tells Guv she just wants to be his friend. He tells her "You're not, and you never will be."
- Shout-Out: She constantly references old songs and TV shows, which the other characters always say they don't remember.
Greg Thompson
- Abusive Parents: He barely even acknowledges his son.
- The Ace: A well-respected landlord with a very profitable pub. He has everything the Guv wants.
- Bad Boss: Insults the women under his employ, and even once kept Steve trapped in a basement for six months, making bar towels.
- Berserk Button: Even imply that he's lying about having a "massive cock" note will get you punched
- The Casanova: Effortlessly charms most women, with Janet and Connie being the only ones immune to his charms.
- Catchphrase: "I'm implying I've got a massive cock."
- Ladykiller in Love: He falls hard for Connie in season two, with her continued rejections becoming detrimental to his mental health.
- No-Sell: In one episode, he took a punch to the gut from Steve without even flinching.
