The Punisher | Allies | The Italian Mafia | Irish Criminals & Associates | The Kingpin's Syndicate | Other Criminals & Psychopaths | Military & Government | Other Characters
The Irish criminal element of New York.
Warning: Unmarked spoiler abound!
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Cooley's Crew
Finn Cooley
cheers
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7, #7
"There's only one way this is gonna be sorted out, an' it won't be a nice civil chat over a pint in the Kerry Castle. It'll be us, the Rats, the Westies an' that fucker Maginty, doin' our level best to butcher each other. Winner takes all."
A hideously disfigured Irish terrorist, who was formerly affiliated with the IRA until he had his face blown off in a botched terrorist attack. He was soon arrested and disavowed by the IRA, only to later be released as part of the Good Friday Agreement. Recently he and his nephew have come to New York to inherit the fortune of the recently deceased Irish mob boss Pops Nesbitt.
- Berserk Button: Do not try lecturing him about bombs, given that he lost his face to one. Poor Morrison found that out the hard way.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: According to Brenda he would "fuck over his own first born if he thought there was five cents in it". This is shown when he callously leaves his own nephew to Frank Castle to save his own skin.
- Cool Mask: Subverted as the transparent faceplate is purely necessary to keep his facial tissue in place, and he loses it due to a bullet from Frank shooting it off in their first confrontation and him not having a replacement for it.
- Evil Red Head: It may be hard to notice it today, but back when he had a face, he sported a frizzy red 'fro.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He does seem to somewhat care for Peter despite abandoning him, angrily telling Michael to keep in mind he just threw his own nephew to the wolves before Michael starts a lecture.
- Facial Horror: His face was horribly disfigured when a bomb backfired on him, with the nerve-endings being destroyed, causing the wound tissue to refuse to solidify into scar tissue. After he loses his plastic mask, he spends the rest of the story arc using bandages to keep it from just falling off his skull. Doesn’t help that Frank ends up tearing off a few chunks with his teeth.
- Freudian Excuse: Its strongly implied that the constant abuse he received at the hands of Nesbitt is what prompted his descent into villainy.
- The Fundamentalist: As one would expect from an ex-IRA goon, he shows a great deal of disdain towards Protestants. Subverted when it's revealed Finn could not give a bent penny about ideology anymore and his end goal is plastic surgery rather than "The Cause".
- Informed Flaw: He constantly gets his Ax-Crazy reputation hyped by other characters, but he's really one of the more level-headed and thoughtful villains of this Gambit Pileup; despite being rather cavalier about civilian casualties, he was far less unbalanced than most of the other participants.
- Mad Bomber: His specialty. The arc kicks off when a bomb he planted to kill off the other factions in the gang war detonated early, killing dozens of civilians.
- When Punisher uses a stun grenade, he's the only one to see it coming and respond with a frag grenade of his own that successfully knocks down Frank and nearly gets him killed.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Much like the rest of his Irish peers. He frequently throws out racial slurs in casual conversation. He doesn't quite realize that that's not acceptable in high minority areas in New York.
- Terrorist Without A Cause: Subverted. He tried to continue on the IRA's legacy with another group, but even that group quickly kicked him out, once they realized what a monster he really was.
- Too Dumb to Live: Not only does he fall for Nesbitt's gambit like the others, but at one point, he starts yelling about how sick he is of being everyone's n-word during a loud rant in a Manhattan diner, not noticing the twelve or so black men in the place who are ready to beat the absolute shit out of him. Michael says that they would probably have killed them if not for Cooley's face freaking them out.
Peter Cooley
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7, #7
"If we don't turn up the pressure soon. We may as well say the hell with' it an' hand the whole place over to the Brits!"
Finn Cooley's younger nephew, and by far the most idealistic of all of Cooley's company.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: Subverted. When he is taken prisoner, Yorkie gives Frank the order to make him talk by any means necessary. The panel then cuts away and we are treated to the sounds of Peter screaming. It's later revealed that all Frank did was rip off the bandages to his wounds, and that was enough to make him scream in agony.
- Face Death with Dignity: His last request is just to have a moment to pray. He handles the rest pretty well.
- The Fundamentalist: Just like his uncle, he has zero love for Protestants. He is also viciously devoted to the IRA, unlike his uncle.
- Humiliation Conga: The poor young man does not have it easy. First he gets shot in the shins, then tortured, and finally put out of his misery by the vengeful son whose father he killed.
- Nerves of Steel: Averted. He passes out immediately after Frank rips the bandages off his wounds. And the threat of real torture is enough to have him sell out his buddies.
- Oh, Crap!: The expression on his face when he realizes his being held prisoner by the Punisher, and M16 agent, and the vengeful son of the man he murdered.
- Tears of Fear: When held prisoner, he tries putting on a brave face at first, but the moment he realizes he's in the room with a ex-SAS commando, the pissed off son of a man he killed, and the freaking Punisher, he immediately breaks down.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: A villainous example. The young man genuinely believes in the IRA, to an almost pitiful extent.
- You Killed My Father: On the receiving end. The last British squaddie killed in Ireland was the father of Yorkie's young partner, who wants to kill Peter for it.
Michael Morrison
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #7
An American gunrunner of Irish descent and close associate of Finn Cooley.
- Alliterative Name: 'M's.
- The Cassandra: Nobody takes Michael's very sane and sensible advice or his warnings seriously for too long.
- Going Native: One of the many things about him that annoys Finn to no end. The other being his phony Irish accent.
- Only Sane Man: He appears to be the most level headed of all the Irish gangsters in the arc, being the only character to suggest leaving town the moment the Punisher gets involved. Too bad his buddies don't heed his warning. He's also the one to suggest the novel idea of working together.
- Surprisingly Sudden Death: Unceremoniously gunned down by Yorkie as he attempts to surrender.
- You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: He lashes out at all the Irish leaders when they try killing each other once they finally put enough of their differences aside to piece the code together.
The River Rats
In General
- Arc Villain: Their only appearance is relegated to the Kitchen Irish arc. After that they are never seen nor heard from again.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: The Punisher hands one of these out to the them in their first encounter with him. Leaving only three out of the original dozen or so members left.
- A Lighter Shade of Black: Probably unintentional, but next to Mad Bomber Finn Cooley, sadistic torturer Maginty and Politically Incorrect Villains The Westies, they don’t come across as too heinous, having a slightly sympathetic backstory, never killing any innocents across the arc (although one of them appears to cut one's finger off to steal a ring during their first scene), and initially staying out of the treasure hunt until Cooley’s bombing makes them more defensive and wondering if there's more to the treasure story than they’d thought.
- No Honor Among Thieves: They won't hesitate to abandon an ally mid-gunfight if they prove to be a liability. Even if that ally happens to be a sibling.
- Only One Name: Their last names are never revealed.
- Oireland: Downplayed example. Although they are all of Irish descent, their "Irishness" is never really played up.
- Red Shirt Army: They exist solely to get eviscerated by the Punisher.
- Ruthless Modern Pirates: Their whole MO.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: All of the surviving cousins and other reinforcements abandon Polly and Eamon at the end of the penultimate issue.
- True Companions: Averted. It's established early on that they only see each other as business associates and have zero qualms about throwing one of their comrades overboard for making inappropriate brother-sister incest jokes.
- We Have Reserves: After being decimated by the Punisher, one of the surviving members wonders aloud where to get reinforcements, to which Polly assures him that she has a "list of cousins as long as your fucking arm".
Polly
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #8
The de facto leader of the River Rats. And one of the four crime bosses who is meant to inherit a share of Nesbitt's fortune.
- Dark Action Girl: One of the first to appear in the series mind you.
- Freudian Excuse: Her sexual abuse at the hands of Nesbitt and her own father plays a major part in her being the way she is today. It's also why she doesn't reciprocate Eamon's family bond, as she resents him for never being able to protect her.
- It's All About Me: Near the finale of the arc, her brother is lying at her feet bleeding out. She goes over to him, leading Eamon to believe she has come to his aid. Instead, she just takes his ammo clips and leaves him to die. This exchange says it best:Eamon: Always you an' me Polly...Polly: Always me Eamon. Always me.
- Kick the Dog: Callously leaving her brother to die while telling him that he never meant anything to her is pretty much the one act that guarantees that no tears will be shed when she later meets her comeuppance.
- And prior to that, blatantly lying to Bunk about her “feelings” for him, kissing him before ordering him to sacrifice himself for Polly, which he eagerly does, screaming her name while dying.
- She rather cruelly and causally mocks a sex worker with a cleft lip.
- The Lad-ette: She can drink and swear as well as any of her boys can.
- One of the Boys: Is always seen lounging and drinking with the other men in her crew.
- Rape as Backstory: During a heated argument with her brother, it's revealed that their father would come home drunk and sexually abuse her when she was a kid.
- Ruthless Modern Pirates: Leader of the River Rat, a gang of pirates from Hell's Kitchen who primarily rob rich people on yachts. That is, until they run into the Punisher...
- Two Girls to a Team: She is one of the two female members of the River Rats, the other being Danni. That is, until Danni gets her brains ventilated.
Eamon
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #8
The second in command of the River Rats, and overprotective brother of Polly.
- Berserk Button: Do not make any Brother–Sister Incest jokes in his presence. He will respond by kicking your ass into the sea and leaving you there for the fishes.
- The Dragon: To his sister Polly.
- Incest Subtext: Averted. And don't even try joking about it. Even if you only meant it as a "joke". One of their fellow River Rats found this out the hard way.
- Knight Templar Big Brother: See Berserk Button above.
- Left for Dead: He's last seen shot in the chest, barely able to talk as his sister walks past him rather than help.
- Ruthless Modern Pirates: Just like his sister, he too is a member of the River Rats, a pirate outfit who operate just outside of Hell's Kitchen.
Danni
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #8
A fat, loutish female member of the River Rats.
- Bald of Evil: Sports a clean shaven chrome dome.
- Boom, Headshot!: How the Punisher finishes her off.
- Brawn Hilda: A noticeably fat, boyish, unattractive woman.
- Curse Cut Short: She was just about to let out an F-bomb right before she took a shotgun slug to the cranium.
- Forgotten Fallen Friend: She quickly gets forgotten about after being killed off by the Punisher.
- Two Girls to a Team: She's the second female member of the River Rats.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: She gets only about two and a half issues worth of screen time before being offed by the Punisher.
Bunk
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #8
- Hold the Line: how he dies, staying behind to cover Polly and Eamon after receiving a chest wound.
- Ignored Enamored Underling: Is in love with Polly, who ignores this except to manipulate him on occasion.
- Mauve Shirt: Outlasts the other River Rat mooks, but doesn't make it to the end of the arc.
The Westies
Brenda Toner
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #9
"I'm runnin' the Westies now! An' if you don't like it than you can fuckin' eat me!"
The hard-ass, take-no-shit-from-anybody wife of Tommy Toner, and one could say, the true leader of the Westies. She is the last of the four crime lords who has the code to Pops Nesbitt's fortune.
- Dark Action Girl: The second one to be introduced in the series. And one of the more effective ones, at that.
- Does Not Like Men: She very obviously hates men, viewing them as little more than of moronic stooges meant to be insulted and bossed around. Odds are she likely gained this view of men from her experiences with old man Nesbitt.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Couldn't give a damn about Tommy, but seems to care for her kids, not wanting them to see Tommy's mutilated remains.
- The Irish Mob: The newly asserted leader of the Westies, an old-school Irish Mob outfit that has decades of lineage.
- Iron Lady: The moment her husband goes missing and is presumed dead, she wastes no time in asserting herself as the new leader of the Westies.
- Nerves of Steel: She shows a surprising amount of calm, even when being fired upon by Frank and Yorkie. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about her men, who immediately break down and panic the moment the shit hits the fan.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: She is constantly heard spouting racial epithets directed at people of African descent, referring to Maginty as a "jungle bunny''. What's more, the Westies as a whole are depicted as being extremely racist, and are said to have killed any person of color who dared coming to their neighborhood, for no other reason than because they were black.
- Rape as Backstory: She was one of the many female victims who Nesbitt would frequently sexually abuse, recalling all the times she had to feel his "sweaty claw" up her skirt.
- Sir Swears Alot: Seeing as how she's Irish and written by Garth Ennis, this was pretty much a given.
- Smoking Is Cool: She is always seen chomping on a cigar.
- Statuesque Stunner: Noticeably taller than her own husband.
- Finn Cooley certainly finds her attractive, giving her a Flirtatious Smack on the Ass while patching up her bullet wounds, to which Brenda replies with a flurry of curses and threats.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Her gang are a bunch of idiots trying to ape on the O.G Westies. She started with the most men, and lost them all in one night because of how dumb and easily frightened they are.
Other Irish Criminals
Maginty
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #7
"They call me Maginty. And I'm the baddest nigger who ever came outta Dublin town."
An Afro-Irish gangster. He is one of the four crime lords who is meant to inherit a share of Pops Nesbitt's fortune.
- Badass Boast: He introduces himself to Napper by referring to himself as one of the "baddest niggers" who ever walked out of Dublin, Ireland. And knowing his reputation, that's not an exaggeration.
- The Dreaded: He has by far the most intimidating reputation of all the Irish gangsters in New York. At one point, all it takes is for one of the Westies to shout his name in panic, and pretty soon all of the Westies are dropping their guns and running for the hills.
- Dreadlock Warrior: Sports long dreads and is one of the more ruthless criminals in the Kitchen Irish arc.
- Genius Bruiser: The most physically imposing of all the Irish gangsters, as well as the most intelligent.
- Kick the Dog: Just as Napper was about to finish cutting up Tommy Toner, he brings in Napper's grandson to see him in action, scarring the poor child for life and ruining any chance Napper may have had at a normal life.
- Machete Mayhem: Unlike the rest of his Irish brethren, he prefers his signature machete. Specifically to scalp his enemies.
- Phenotype Stereotype: Very much averted. He's a black Irishman from Dublin.
- Scary Black Man: Oh, yes.
- Token Minority: The only black character out of all the Irish gangsters.
- Too Dumb to Live: Not only does he fall for Nesbitt's gambit like the others, but Napper almost pulled a Houdini on him when he came back to the old man's apartment alone.
- Villain Ball: Got the drop on the Punisher, waiting for the right moment to scalp him, only to take so long that Frank notices one of his men. He lampshades that he got too ambitious.
- Villainous Gold Tooth: He has a gold tooth in his mouth, alongside several crooked teeth. He has, by far, the most intimidating reputation of all the Irish gangsters in New York.
- Would Hurt a Child: When Napper blows off his proposal for a job, all it takes is for Maginty to threaten to murder Napper's 8 year old grandson, and pretty soon the old man falls in line.
Napper French
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #7
"Knew you wouldn't wanna miss one of Hell's Kitchen's legends in action."
A retired elderly Irish gangster who use to specialize in cutting up dead bodies into so many pieces that the police could never find them all. For the last thirty years, he has been living comfortably in retirement — that is, until Maginty approaches him for one final job.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Since retiring from crime, he has become a genuinely kind old man. Yeah, just wait till you're stupid enough to threaten his grandson, as Maginty learned.
- The Dreaded: Thanks to his many years as Nesbitt's go-to-butcher, he has earned this reputation among New York's criminal underworld. Apparently, his rep was so strong that his legend is still remembered to this day.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He genuinely loves his grandson with a passion. So much so that he is willing to work one last job in order to ensure his safety.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Toward Maginty, who wants to prove he is like all the O.G Irish mobsters, only for Napper to bring up that he is just as stupid as them. The only reason an asshole like Nesbitt stayed in power was because his lieutenants were too busy slaughtering each other because they were too stupid to realize they were all being played by the old boss.
- Retired Monster: He lived the past thirty years of his life happily retired and spending time with his grandkids. That is, until Maginty pays him a visit.
- Surprisingly Sudden Death: Manages to get the drop on Maginty after the shootout at the Intrepid, pissed off and fully intent on pulling a “Houdini” on the Black Irishman, and taking his time with it. Too bad Maginty’s crew bursts in just in time, and blow Ol’ Napper away with a shotgun.
- Why Won't You Die?: Says this to Tommy Toner after he gets tired of having to slice off bits and pieces of him.
Pops Nesbitt
Debut: The Punisher Vol. 7 #10
"Shower O' cunts"
An elderly recently deceased Irish Mob boss who has left behind ten million dollars to his heirs.
- Beard of Evil: Had a long wizardly beard, and he was one disgusting old bastard.
- Country Matters: It's practically his Catchphrase.
- Dirty Old Man: An extremely vile example. He would repeatedly mentally and physically abuse his younger relatives, and would sexually abuse the female ones. Dirty old man, indeed.
- Divide and Conquer: The reason why he stayed in power until his death was that all the other gang leaders were idiots fighting each other, allowing Nesbitt to get rich off their backs while treating them like crap. If any gangster became sensible enough to try working this out together, Nesbitt would send him to Napper to get dismembered and keep the internal conflict going.
- The Dreaded: One of the main reasons why none of his relatives would ever retaliate against him for his abuse is because they were all scared shitless of him. They were all aware of his reputation as a ruthless crime boss and believed that he still had people who would be willing to kill for him.
- Evil Old Folks: The guy was a nasty piece of work till the very end, old age doing nothing to soften him.
- Hated by All: And he hated everyone back. He was rightfully feared and even respected, but he was utterly hated by anyone who had the displeasure of meeting him, and for good reason.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Frank deduces right away that his inheritance is just one last jab at his family — guys like Nesbitt stay assholes through and through.
- The Patriarch: A very evil example of this trope if ever there was one. Racist, cruel, perverted, and an overall miserable old bastard.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Treated Maginty as a walking zoo exhibit the moment he saw him, called him "Paddy the fucking Monkey" and threw peanuts to him from the poker table as if Maginty was an actual monkey.
- Xanatos Gambit: Overlapping with Thanatos Gambit. He gave each of his inheritors a piece of a code that they would have to put together in order to get at his inheritance. After they almost kill each other trying to steal the other pieces of the code, they decide to call a truce. When they all come together to collect, it's revealed that the secret location for his funds has no money in it at all, just a plastic explosive with the word "cunts" scrawled on it and three seconds left on the timer.
