Some of the characters of "The Gods Are Bastards".
Beware: spoilers are unmarked!
Unseen University
Class of 1182
- Action Girl:
- Incompatible Orientation: With Toby, who’s gay.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She's a humble protector who is mostly an asshole - because she honestly believes church doctrine always helps others in need, so she goes out of her way to preach it purely out of altruism.
- Knight Templar: But early on she still tries to kill Gabriel for what amounts to him talking some shit and existing as living evidence that the love of the gods is not perfect. (She gets better, slowly.)
- Actual Pacifist: He belongs to a martial school that is about tanking and enduring enemy attacks, effectively goading them into expending all their violence until what is left is peace.
- Straight Gay:
- “You are, indeed, exactly as you were described to me, Gabriel Arquin,” Salyrene finally said. “A good heart, a keen mind, and a tongue that is always one step ahead of both.”
- Butt-Monkey: He's starting to tone it down, as with Character Development he grows into someone a lot less likely to say something ridiculous or dumb, but it's still there.
- Fantastic Racism: A large part of his backstory and personality are explained by his being a demonblood, distrusted as a default.
- Open Mouth, Insert Foot: He doesn't have much of a filter, which lead to several of these situations.
- Super-Toughness: Due his hethelax ancentry. He's immune to any non-magical attack and survived an atmospheric reentry.
- The Snark Knight:
- Cool Sword: A mithril rapier. In this universe mithril is essentially made of anti-magic, so it's impervious to any kind of magical attack, penetrates magical invulnerability, and is just incredibly useful and valuable.
- Deadpan Snarker: She is absolutely, gloriously full of snark, mostly directed at Gabe.
- Immune to Drugs / Immune to Mind Control: Naphthene's curse to "always drink but never be drunk" also seems to apply to other mind-altering stuff such as glittershrooms and bespelled food.
- Never Gets Drunk: One of her ancestors was cursed so that his descendants would "always drink but never be drunk".
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Portrays herself as a slightly uncouth, rough-and-ready pirate, but as Trissiny later remarks she is incredibly intelligent and very good at reading people, and sets the grading curve for their first term at the university.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Like most Punaji, she swears like a sailor.
- Ambiguous Innocence: Juniper is initially very sheltered (and spoiled), with little understanding of how the world works. She's also superhumanly strong and tough, essentially immortal, and initially has an Elder Goddess at her back.
- Character Development: Learns empathy, guilt, and responsibility over time.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: Of the 'unaware of taboo' variety. Despite being very promiscuous, she has next to no idea of how scandalous it is to directly ask a human for sex, and is blissfully unaware of the rampant homophobia running through the empire. To her, sex is about as boringly enjoyable as eating.
- Plant Person: She is a spirit of nature, indeed a demigoddess.
- Ms. Fanservice:
- Super-Toughness: Dryads can be as strong and sturdy as a large tree when they want to.
- Boyish Short Hair:
- The Power of Love: how they survived an ordeal that killed six other girls and the archdemons sent to possess them.
- Sharing a Body:
- Symbiotic Possession:
- The Power of Love: How she survived an ordeal that killed six other girls and her sisters. She declares that love is less direct than force, but far more effective.
- Identity Amnesia: The agony from the sabotage erased all her memories.
- Lossof Identity:
- Sharing a Body:
- Symbiotic Possession:
- An Ice Person: She is an ice pixie, after all.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: by virtue of not having been raised in the human world.
- Our Fairies Are Different:
- Winged Humanoid:
- Lip Stick Lesbian: Well-dressed and well put together, and also together with Teal. (Granted, "orientation" in this world is basically a human concern.)
- The Spock: Shaeine is diplomatic, logical and self-controlled almost to a fault as a result of Narisian culture, which treats the sharing of emotions as something of great intimacy.
- The Stoic: As typical from Narisian drow.
Unseen University Teachers and Staff
- “Legendary power does not connote omnipotence or infallibility,” Tellwyrn said.... “Last person I met who thought it did was a god. I will forever cherish the look on his face when I killed him.”
- The Ace: The only currently-living person to have killed a god. She’s been designated a force of nature by the Emperor’s Spymaster, meaning that she can do practically anything she wants to with no legal repercussions."... Do you just make a point of plunging to your doom every so often because it amuses you to watch doom panic when it sees you coming?”
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: The prologue introduces her as this; throughout the series, characters' reactions at hearing her name vary from nervous to downright terrified. Including freshly-summoned demons.
- Retired Badass: Officially, anyway, though no longer being an adventurer hasn’t stopped Tellwyrn from kicking ass at every available opportunity.
- Death Seeker: She went into the Deep Wild to die, she however didn't have it in her to just lie down and quit and gave a fair fight. It didn't work. She snaps out of it when Yornhaldt gives her the idea to found the university.
- Sink or Swim Mentor: She has a tendency of throwing her students into difficult situations of all stripes and just leaving them there while she goes off to do her own thing. She however chooses situations that fit their abilities.
- Becoming the Mask: Exactly why he started acting completely insane is still up in the air, but at this point it's pretty much a fact that he at least started acting crazy, but exactly how sane he is now is up for debate.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: As immature he might acts, he is an excellent alchemist, given that he brewed an anti-death potion (aka an impossibility)
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Is under the impression that faculty rivalries are an integral part of university life, and so to get around the fact that no other teacher will start one with him, creates one with himself.
- Obfuscating Insanity: Acts completely insane for practically no discernible reason, but Tellwyrn implies that it was originally to deal with the prejudice he faces as a half-elf.
- Badass Bookworm: An academic first and foremost, Yornhaldt is still more than capable of taking care of himself in a fight.
- Only Sane Man:
Other Students
- Beware the Nice Ones: Explicitly compared to their equivalent of a nuke.
Universal Church
The Thieves' Guild
- Beware the Nice Ones: While it's a given from early on that Sweet has the capacity to be incredibly ruthless and manipulative, he still seems like a genuinely good person. Fast forward to him brutally torturing a man in cold blood - a Black Wreath spy, and a member of a cult diametrically opposed to his own, but it's nonetheless an absolutely shocking scene.
- Manipulative Bastard: Not to people he cares about, but still...
- “Principia Locke is selfish, lazy, deceitful, irreverent and gratuitously obstreperous, but there are much, much worse things a person can be. I can’t tell you she’s a good person to know, but she is not the sort of person you as a paladin are likely to be called on to chase down and bring to justice.”
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Shook has very firm, and hostile, opinions about women.
Sisterhood of Avei
Brethren of Vidius
Huntsmen of Shaath
Black Wreath
Gods
Pantheon
He and his followers tend toward pacifism. While many are truly non-violent (and indeed passive), his cult is also known for his Sun Style martial art, which can quite effectively turn an opponents efforts against them.
His cult sponsors actors and theatre, as well as providing funeral and memorial services for the public. He has also adopted the Valkries, the second generation of Naia's children; they serve him as messengers and warriors against the undead.
God of subtlety, defiance, and thieves (including con-artists, gamblers, and similar folk). Esarion's cult has a heavy emphasis on self-reliance, he has sometimes been called "the god of Do It Your F***ing Self".
Goddess of Love. Her priests and priestesses are sometimes dismissed as "sacred prostitutes", but in fact provide a variety of counseling services; they are aided in this by their god-given power of empathy.
His cult in current times is known for misogynist practices, which often place them at odds with Avei's folk.
Vesk is considered seriously annoying by mortals and fellow gods alike... yet the other gods do trust him, and will usually play along with his stories. He is one of the most "activist" gods, with possibly the most personal appearances in the story.
Sponsor of the four Collegia of Magic. While she withdrew from all contact for many decades after the Enchanter's Bane debacle, she has recently been persuaded to resume her place.
- Time Police: The Scions of Vemnesthis, who deal with those who tamper with Time. Small localized effects may be tolerated, but anyone who tries to directly view the future, travel through time, or change the past will get a warning. If they ignore the warning, they get drafted into the Scions themselves....
Goddess of money, banking and commerce. "The greatest sin for Vernisites is hoarding."
Other/Non-Pantheon
Naphthene is famously unresponsive, taking no priests and never responding to prayer. However, she is believed to punish lack of prayer, and definitely punishes abuse of her few shrines.
The Ares to Avei's Athena, this god was slain by Arachne Tellwyrn.
- Nemitoth, God of Knowledge
- His temples are libraries.
- Ouvus, God of the Sky
- Generally unresponsive to mortal efforts.
- Ryneas, God of Art
- Sponsor of art museums.
- Calomnar, God of Chaos
- Associated with magical Chaos, he has no mortal cult.
Elder Gods
- Demiurge Archetype: For all their posturing, they were incompetent man-children who seized the power of a technological singularity from its wiser creators, read a few fantasy books across the ages without understanding the subtext, and then mashed it all together into this chaotic mess of a planet.
- The Old Gods: They are the gods that created the world. The current pantheon is made of their successors, mortals born from their created planet.
- Jerkass Gods: Even worse than the current gods, which is what convinced them to rebel and ascend in the first place.
She is the creator of three generations of fairies, all incredibly powerful: The eldest are the mischievous kitsune, the second generation are the deadly valkries (since adopted by Vidius), and the youngest are the dryads. While she normally pays little attention (or care) to her children, if one of them is somehow killed, she will generally obliterate everyone in the vicinity.
There are several deceased Elder Gods and Goddesses about whom little is known, aside from their destruction during the Pantheon's rise: Rauzon ("The Prime", god), Infriss (goddess), Druroth (god), Vel Hreyd (god), Heilo (god), Caraistha (goddess), Tarthriss (god), Szyrein (goddess), Meynherem (god).And then there's Sanora and Virya, who are busy doing their own thing.