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The Main Cast
Bernard "Bernie Mac" Mccullough
Greetings, America!
Played by: Bernie Mac
The show's main protagonist who is loosely (more in the sense of having different relatives) based upon the late comedian of the same name. Bernie and his wife took in the three kids when their drug-addled mother, his sister Stacy, was no longer able to be a proper parent. Bernie uses tough-love parenting tactics and he can be both strict and comical. He narrates the series, and between scenes he talks to the audience by addressing them as "America." Although he loves all three kids, his favorite or at least-troublesome was apparently Bryana for a while.- Acid Reflux Nightmare: Bernie gets this after developing food poisoning from devouring the undercooked turkey in the Thanksgiving episode.
- Anti-Hero: He could be this depending on the plot. It's actually pretty often he fits the Knight in Sour Armor role, for his methods, even if a bit too harsh at times, are meant to keep the three kids from going down a very wrong path.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: A staple of the series. Bernie spends a most episodes continually speaking to "America" (i.e., the audience) in his study in a big comfy chair. In the pilot, Wanda also talks to the viewers as she leaves for work, as a rare example of his family joining in. Various guest celebrities have also done this.
- There are also yellow captions which remark the events that unfold during the episode in the script. While some can be seen as treating the viewers as if they are dumb enough not to figure things out, most point out little bits of hard-to-see information or sheer snark.
- Berserk Button: Bernie has many, a lot of which come from being disobeyed, but a more noble example would be when Vanessa is obliviously wasting her potential.
- Can't Stand Them, Can't Live Without Them: His relationship with the kids, especially Vanessa, the least, Bryana for a while anyway.
- Catchphrase: He has a number of them. "What's up, you squares?" to groups of people (mind that most characters are shades of gray), as well as the following general shoutings: "Oh LAWD!", "You must be cwazey," "I'm a KILL one of them kids", "toNIGHT", "This is some BULL", and "Nice. Real noice." Not to mention, "Bust they heads 'till the white meat shows." Some of these phrases have even rubbed off slightly on Jordan and Vanessa.
- Comically Serious: Even in his most serious tone of voice, he still manages to bring out hilarious lines.
- Bernie: Lying to a nun. Saying his aunt's sick. He's the one about to be sick, gonna contact a sudden case of "assus beatus redus". That's Latin for "I'm gonna whup his ass 'til it glows".
- Cool Uncle: When the kids aren't being bratty, Bernie does treat them with a little fun and trips to their favorite places. He also give them grand rewards whenever they would do something amazing or otherwise behave. He has shown to be a much better parent than their own parents, after all.
- Deadpan Snarker: Mostly when he's in no mood.
- Gosh Darn It to Heck!: Since this is a family show, and he now has to care for three kids, the typically foulmouthed Bernie Mac has to tone down his language. Examples include his Catchphrase of "That's bull!" and his Verbal Tic of "doggone".
- Groin Attack: Bernie has had a handful of these attacks fly his way.
- Happily Married: To Wanda.
- Hypocritical Humor: During the pilot episode, after Bernie kept asking the kids if they wanted a big ass donut on the way home, Vanessa later responded sardonically with the "big ass" phrase attached to her message. Bernie then told Vanessa to watch her mouth.
- Jerkass Has a Point: With how often he has to deal with the kids' contemptuous behavior, it's kind of hard to blame him for being tough on them.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: In spite of his sometimes ruthless words with crass and irritated behavior towards his nieces and nephew (including some knocks at their intellectual levels), who themselves have a gray morality, he does have love for all three of them and when things get serious enough, will defend them, if only from each other. One another hand, Bernie has rarely disrespected people who did not do him wrong. The worst his character has ever done in addressing the audience was to quote what some are likely thinking in a flippant tone. An example of his annoyance causing his mouth to go off is when a lady was staring somewhat blankly as the kids misbehaved in the store and he snapped at the woman, only for him to calm down and request that anyone out there who knew the stranger give her his apology.
- Manly Tears: He has plenty of these. The most notable one is when he found out the truth about his "uncle" being his dad after his funeral from an old birth certificate.
- My Way or the Highway: Bernie has this attitude quite often. In one episode, Vanessa drops out of the cheer squad when Bernie sees the very suggestive routine and admits that new toned down version was his idea. She then joins the economics club, where near the end of the episode, Jordan tells Bernie that Vanessa was skimming money from the club's candy sales to buy a bus ticket to Chicago. Inside the bus, Bernie asks why she's doing this and she snaps back: "You're always telling us 'it's my way or the highway,' so you know what? I'm choosing the highway!"
- Never My Fault: Sometimes, he would blame the kids for something he brought on himself, like in "Now You Got It", when he decides to eat a slice of cake that has been riddled with germs and gets ill from it, blaming the kids for his decision to eat it and getting himself sick.
- Only Sane Man: At times, though he's quick to go "cwazy" himself.
- Papa Wolf: He will protect his kids whenever either one of them get into it with certain people. It's rare that he proactively tells someone off for them, but it's there.
- Parental Favoritism: Towards Baby Girl - though as he predicted, it lessens as she becomes bolder and more manipulative.
- Parental Substitute: He has to care for his nieces and nephew since their mother, his sister, is unfit to care for them anymore.
- Pride: Bernie is one to get clearly ruffled if accused of being at fault, such as when he sharply denied that Jordan "played" him into letting him spend money on a seemingly frivilous telescope. This pride has also caused Bernie to do the occasional reckless action, getting himself in sure trouble.
- Resentful Guardian: Downplayed. Bernie usually can't stand the kids and has even encouraged one of the guidance counselors to take them away. But regardless, he still does the best he can to make them all grow to be better after their parents were unfit to care for them anymore.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: A more euphemistic version. Since this is a rated 'G' comedy show, he says words such as "doggone", "bull", or so on. In that sense, he's somewhat reduced to what they call a Bad Butt.
- The Snark Knight: He ain't called the "King of Comedy" for nothing after all.
- Suddenly Shouting: Boy howdy, is this a regular thing he'll do.
-
Tom Hanks Syndrome: Subverted in the episode "Conrad's Prerogative." In the episode, Bernie wants to have the lead role of an Oscar Bait movie to prove he can be a serious actor, but when the film gets to the part where the athlete Bernie portrays suffers a stroke, Wanda and his friends can't help but laugh at the clip, since it's implied that he look ridiculous in his attempt at at a stroke. - Tough Love: As rough as he can be towards the kids, it's his way of showing that he doesn't want them to grow like their parents, especially his sister.
Wanda Mccullough
Played by: Kellita Smith
Bernie's loving wife, a very intelligent woman who is VP for AT&T. She loves raising the kids with Bernie, but periodically her patience is tested. Whenever Bernie has a problem, she does her best to help, though her assistance can be stubbornly overbearing and unnecessary at times. Also, it has been stated that most of Bernie's family thinks she's snooty and is not above using seduction to make Bernie to fix a mistake. She plays a minor but important role in the series finale, in which she advises Vanessa to respect her Uncle Bernie by writing an essay on how he has inspired her.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Despite being more level-headed and gentler than Bernie, Wanda isn't afraid to go strict on the kids when they really push her past her limit. The episode "For Whom the Belt Tolls" is a flagrant example. This woman is also potentially quick to retaliate if she feels wronged or well-annoyed, but it's usually nothing too outrageous.
- Brainy Brunette: Given her job title.
- Caring Gardener: Wanda is, on more than one occasion, seen tending to a garden around the house. If it is even ruffled, she gets upset.
- Deadpan Snarker: She has a fair number of her moments, mostly around Bernie.
- Extreme Doormat: Subverted or at least downplayed. She tolerates some rambunctiousness but shows the kids on enough occasions that just because she's much kinder to them doesn't mean it's okay to take advantage of her kindness.
- Happily Married: To Bernie, obviously. Things generally work well.
- Henpecked Wife: On certain occasions. Although there are moments where she lets Bernie know when he goes too far.
- Nice Girl: Compared to Bernie, she's much kinder to the kids.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: She is much more balanced out in terms of caring and discipline towards the kids than Bernie usually is.
- Tsundere: Type B. She's mostly kind to the kids, but is also strict when they learn the hard way what happens when they push her far enough. She also can be rather stern to Bernie when he would take his methods of discipline beyond what the kids truly earned.
- Women Are Wiser: At least when it comes to discipline.
- Woman Scorned: A more minor example, but there are moments where she reaches this trope, such as when she claims to be "LIVID" when Bernie said that if she were dead, he'd go with Halle Berry.
Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins
Played by:' Dee Dee Davis
Bernie and Wanda's younger niece, the youngest child and the half-sister of Jordan and Vanessa. Bryana is a friendly little girl who is sweet, innocent, and quite naïve, though she is often more bratty and obnoxious as the series progresses. Bryana is her uncle's favorite (although he loves all three) at first but starts to lose this. Bryana is playful and always trusts her Uncle Bernie. Bryana is known for always attacking and successfully beating up her older brother Jordan.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: To Vanessa, and especially to Jordan
- Berserk Button: Do NOT mess with Bryana's doll, or very bad things will happen.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She has her moments - this mostly goes for the middle episodes, for Bryana, who was once more innocent, shifted to become outright jealous, manipulative, with a bad attitude, and quick to speak ill of who or what dissatisfies her.
- Bratty Half-Pint: While she is cute, she also became this quite often with time. "Five Stages of Bryana" is where she was at her worst up until that point and the attitude was definitely not done there.
- Cheerful Child: More so when she was younger. She is usually the one in a cheerful mood.
- Daddy's Girl: To her biological father Bryan
- Uncle's Girl: Bernie also tends to favor her out of the three children.
- Deliberately Cute Child: She has pulled this move off at times to get her way, most notably in "Five Stages of Bryana".
- Disappeared Dad: Since she is the half-sister of her older siblings. She is later revealed to have a biological father named Bryan, who pops up and hangs out at the house in the final season.
- Enfante Terrible: Especially in later episodes.
- Flanderization: As the series went on, she has devolved into even more bratty and obnoxious to a point where Bernie decides to stop being lenient on her and begins to punish her severely, as well as give her threatening looks.
- Karma Houdini: Since she's Bernie's favorite, it's easy for her to avoid punishment almost every time. This trope, for her, dissolves as she grows older and Bernie begins retaliating, with such symptoms occurring as early as Season 2.
- Manipulative Bitch: As revealed in "Secrets & Life", she is the best liar out of all the main cast when she wants something, having grown more insightful - with a considerably worse attitude - as the show went on.
- Nice Girl: Moreso when she was younger. Though even after she became more bratty as the show went on, she still doesn't reach Vanessa's extent of contempt.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Bernie always refers to her as "Baby Girl" and rarely calls her by her real name.
- Spoiled Brat: On her worst days, especially in the later episodes. Though, on rare occasions, she'd actually offer some sort of help to her siblings.
Jordan Thomkins
Played by Jeremy Suarez
Bernie and Wanda's nephew, the middle child. Jordan is very mischievous and peculiar. He is interested in collecting bugs and conducting odd science experiments. He is liable to getting beat up by his little sister, Bryana; though on very minor occasions, he has been able to scare her in retaliation and make her cry. Early on in the series, primarily during the first season, Jordan would always cry, occasionally vomit and sometimes urinate on himself. As the series progressed, he gets tougher and more masculine enough, most notable shown in an episode in which he joins a wrestling team. He took an interest in magic and even began trying to date girls. Although he knows that there is nothing wrong with Jordan, Bernie tries to his best to make him more masculine.
- Acquired Situational Narcissism: Anytime he shows something that he's really good at or he's taught something by Bernie, you bet that Jordan would often let it go to his head, as shown in episodes such as "The Main Event" and "J-O-R-D-A-N Spells Funny."
- Animal Lover: A bit zigzagged. Sometimes, Jordan has attempted to burn ants (though that may have been aggressive fire ants that people often dislike) and once fed a mouse to a snake he took care of just to troll Bryana, who had not really bothered him in a while. For the most part, however, Jordan has been a kinder pet owner, showing encyclopedic knowledge of different species.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: Nowhere near the extent of Bryana when she got worse over time as a general type, but he would more often clash with Vanessa overall.
- Birthday Hater: Downplayed. He's ironically never excited when his birthday comes around. But it's got more to do with the fact that he just dislikes having a birthday party rather than his birthday in itself, as he was constantly broken a promise to having a birthday party by his mother in the past.
- Black and Nerdy: Isn't it obvious?
- Born Unlucky: Is perhaps the unluckiest character on the show.
- Butt-Monkey: He is constantly beaten up by his little sister, picked on by many students at his school, ridiculed for his lack of toughness, got himself launched in the sky via hot air balloon, and so on.
- Characterization Marches On: He becomes tougher and more virile as the series progresses.
- Cheerful Child: At least on a good day.
- Enfante Terrible: Jordan can become this in certain occasions, Depending on the Writer, be it from general mischief, looking down at others on occasion, or, early on, throwing outbursts complete with bodily fluids.
- Fartillery: On a couple of occasions, Jordan bombed the area with something silent but deadly to disgust everyone within a near radius.
- Geek Physique: He is very thin and wears glasses but gains a muscle tone later.
- Give Geeks a Chance: As he gets older, Jordan begins to have a couple of girlfriends throughout the series. Sadly, they hardly last long.
- Grew a Spine: Part of his character development in later seasons.
- Groin Attack: Jordan becomes a victim of this in "Hall of Fame" in a football game when he blocks an upcoming field goal by leaping in front of the ball, which hits his "pebbles".
- Hypocritical Humor: There are times where he makes fun of and rebuffs an even dorkier kid than he is despite the fact that he's hardly less dorkier than them.
- In Touch with His Feminine Side: Many times, much to Bernie's dismay.
- Lovable Coward: In spite of his status as a wuss, Jordan grows to be one of the more likable characters overtime.
- Mistaken for Gay: Jordan's bizarre hobbies and general lack of interest to "manly" activities (save a small stint at football) make Bernie assume this, alongside Mac's worries learning on homophobia. This is Played for Laughs most times until Jordan hears the disparaging comments about his "softness". Later on, Bernie's less worried with Jordan's sexuality when he openly admits his crush to a girl (albeit Vanessa's classmate). In fact, he develops a profound interest in the opposite gender.
- Naked People Are Funny: The writers had a bizarre obsession in the early seasons with having Jordan appear naked or semi-nude and run around the house. They eventually had the sense to knock it off.
- Nerdy Inhaler: He has asthma and is often seen using his inhaler whenever he wheezes.
- No True Scotsman: Jordan's hokey dancing during a family reunion made one of Bernie's relatives criticize him for not raising Jordan properly, because according to him, Jordan didn't act like a young black boy should.
- Potty Failure: In the pilot episode, he would, under stress, wet his pants. After that, he pretty much averts this almost completely.
- Precocious Crush: On Vanessa's classmate Jill in "Magic Jordan".
- Prone to Tears: Jordan started off as this in the first few episodes. But as the series evolved, he gradually shifted away from this.
- Signature Laugh: He has his nasally crackle: "Hee-hee-hee."
- Stage Magician: Once he got a taste of magic, despite a hardship at one point, Jordan kept his love for it, and people started getting pretty impressed.
- This Loser Is You: With him being on the losing end of luck and the brunt of others' rudeness, it should be obvious with what has happened to him in the earlier seasons, that he stands for the person downtrodden at an above-average level. However, he gradually shifts away from this as the series marches on.
- Wouldn't Hit a Girl: The possible reason why Jordan gets constantly beat up by his little sister.
- Also, in another episode, after beating up the guys outside the house in retaliation for beating him up for no reason at all earlier in the episode, he shoves the only female to the ground and stops himself from punching her in the face. So he offers her on her feet...and gets punched in the eye as a result.
- Wrestler in All of Us: In a later episode, Jordan takes up wrestling, and is not as bad-off as one would think against an intimidating, experienced opponent.
Vanessa "Nessa" Thomkins
Played by: Camille Winbush
Bernie and Wanda's elder niece, the eldest of the three children, also known as the main antagonist. Vanessa always purposely gives Bernie trouble with her attitude, most of which comes from the pressure of being the eldest and having to take the parent role with her younger siblings. As the series progresses, she gets along better with Bernie and grows up into a young woman preparing for college. In the final season, she spends most of her time trying to find the perfect college and rejecting Bernie's help with that.
- Anti-Villain: She may act rather antagonistic towards Bernie and a few others most of the time, but in reality, she's only behaving like the typical teenage girl when she would gain some sort of rebellion.
- Berserk Button: Where to even start?! Dealing with Bernie's stern lectures seems to be a big one for her. Especially when she is forbidden to go where she wants and do what she likes.
- Bratty Teenage Daughter: BIG TIME!, or so it would carry in how much she just wants to be left alone. She is the one who Bernie has almost very little patience with.
- Cool Big Sis: She can become this to Jordan and Bryana at times.
- Deadpan Snarker: Especially when dealing with Bernie "Bigfoot" Mac.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: In "The King and I," Bernie discovers that the only reason why Jordan and Bryanna listen to him is because Vanessa secretly approves, or vetoes, whatever orders Bernie gives them, so he decides to let her take charge since she told him they're used to only listening to her anyway. Eventually, Vanessa has to beg Bernie and Wanda to help control Jordan and Bryanna because they won't listen to her anymore.
- Hypocrite: Vanessa will keep talking about how she can raise herself, but you can bet that she's still going to keep living off of Bernie's hard work.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite her rude and contemptuous behavior, especially to her uncle, Vanessa does love her siblings and uncle. Not to mention that she does not say mean things often at all and is not one to stir up conflicts. Be nice to her, and she'll potentially reciprocate.
- Perpetual Frowner: For a good reason too.
- Promotion to Parent: A deconstruction. Due to her mom, Stacy, being so unstable, raised Briana and Jordan until the kids were adopted by Bernie. This authority carries over after they move in with him, since both Jordan and Bryana still look to Vanessa at times for approval. This is part of why she's often angry or frustrated. In "The King and I" when Wanda reprimands Bernie's opinion of Vanessa, she reminds him that Vanessa 'never got to be a child' and he visibly softens over it. Eventually, Vanessa works through these issues, and both her relationships with her family and her self image improves.
- Short Teens, Tall Adults: If a bit. Though she may not look like a short person, the mature aunt Wanda is significantly taller than Vanessa is.
- Strict Parents Make Sneaky Kids: Vanessa would often try to sneak her way to rebel against her uncle's commands, which she finds much more strict than what she feels is necessary.
- Team Mom: Since her mother was unfit to care for her and the other two, Vanessa is usually this whenever she is with Jordan and Bryanna thanks to her promotion as parenting them both. She usually gets along with them, unless either one of them do anything to annoy her.
- Techno Wizard: Vanessa has proven to be a more everyday example, editing videos and songs for both spare-time and class projects.
- We Used to Be Friends: In "Home Sweet Chicago: part 2," following the funeral of Bernie's uncle, while Bernie takes Wanda, Jordan, and Bryanna to his favorite hangouts as kid, Vanessa goes to her old neighborhood to reconnect with her 'friends', only for one of them to get bitter with Vanessa because they assumed that she was there to gloat over the fact that she manged to move into a nicer house with a rich relative and escape a life in the ghetto, while the others were still stuck there. A similar conflict or so happens with others that Vanessa knew.
Secondary
Stacy McCullough
Stacy (possibly)
]Bernie's sister and Vanessa, Jordan, and Bryanna's mother.- Addled Addict: Why Bernie takes custody of the kids. She had to be placed in an institution to overcome her addiction but she ran away. No, she doesn't get better, by the way.
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Played with. So far, from what we know about Vanessa and Jordan's father, he's left the family and is, possibly, in prison, so that's probably saying something, especially since, apparently, he was her supplier, however, on that same hand, Bryana's father, Bryan, is shown to be a decent guy.
- The Ghost: So far, she's only made one appearance and that was in a childhood picture. Other than that, she's mentioned.
- Missing Mom: Even before the kids were taken from her care, she was practically absent as Bryana doesn't remember her that well.
- My Greatest Failure: In one episode, Bernie tells Vanessa, "You weren't the first 17-year old I had to take care of." From what we already know about Stacy, it's not hard to say he's feeling this trope when he thinks of her.
- Rebellious Spirit: Implied, Bernie mentioned how all of them grew up in the same home (with the same set of rules) but, so far, only Stacy turned out "wrong" in a sense.
- Really Gets Around: Apparently, she had a string of different guys in the past, after Mr. Thomkins got arrested. One of them was Bryan who was unaware he had a daughter.
Big Mama
Big Mama (in the holiday photo)
Played by: Bebe Drake
Bernie's grandma.- Raised by Grandparents: She raised Bernie and his siblings. It's not said what happened to Bernie's mom.
- The Faceless: When she was in flashbacks, we only saw her hand smacking Bernie in the face. Otherwise, she averted this with the family reunion episode and one childhood photo of Bernie and his siblings.
- The Ghost: She's made an appearance in the family reunion episode, a flashback, and in one photo but, most of the time, Bernie references her and how she raised him.
- Killed Offscreen: Implied, since her only appearance was in the family reunion episode where she mentioned that she was around 100.
Jerry Best
Jerry
Played by: Rick Hoffman
Bernie's manager- Honorary Uncle: He considers himself this to the kids and they seem to like him, too.
Bryan
Bryana's bio-dad, who appears in season 4
- Bumbling Dad: As well-meaning as he is, he ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Disappeared Dad:He never actually knew he had daughter and so was absent for most of Bryana's life
- Pushover Parents: He dotes on Bryana, which made her more of a spoiled brat than she already was.
