The crew of the starship Titianic are the bots (robots) with uploaded personalities, gathered from personality donations, where a person has their personality copied for a bit of cash.
- Voiced by Jonathan Kydd(The ship has just crashed into your house) "Don't worry, no harm done, just a little scratch to the paintwork I think. Lucky your house was quite soft..."
The first Bot you're likely to meet as you board the Starship Titanic is Edmund Lucy Fentible, DoorBot extraordinaire.
Amiable, charming and trustworthy, Fentible's personality (purchased and scanned at enormous expense by Starlight Lines for their exclusive new collection of Bots with "Genuine People Personalities") was ideal material for the luxury liner's first point of contact. You will find his manners impeccable, his discretion unequalled, and his calm cool and collected.Except during the occasional bout of forgetfulness.And then of course there are those rather unnerving mood swings...
- - official website profile
- Sanity Slippage: Has a tendency to randomly get mood swings and memory loss when his cellpoint settings go down.
- Voiced by Laurel Lefkow"Any problems your room bring them to me and I'll ignore them as soon as I can, anything else I can ignore straight away!"
The Starship Titanic's ultra-efficient ReaLife® Superior Class DeskBot, GPP Marsinta Drewbish, is a desk-clerk like no other. Witheringly condescending to the lower classes, ingratiating to VIPs, Marsinta maintains the delicate sociohierarchical ecobalance on board ship. If you have a snowball's hope on Sol of getting an upgrade, she's the one you'll have to convince.And heaven help you if you're caught with a complimentary shampoo at check-out time...
- - official website profile
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: Deliberately acts this way. Until you reset her off-kilter personality settings.
- Gossipy Hen: She knows secrets about almost every bot and person on the ship, if you ask her.
- Voiced by Quint Boa"I see you're not carrying any luggage, that's great! I can take some time off, right away! And I see you're Super Galactic Traveller class, so I guess you can find your own way to your room! The door's over there, the elevator's round someplace. Relax, stay cool, enjoy!"
When Starlight Lines bought Krage Koyotoal IV's personality to install in the BellBot, they couldn't have made a bigger mistake. You're only supposed to have your brain scanned once, but Krage's real-life original has found a way to do it once a week, using the money to finance all sorts of dodgy habits.Krage's idea of heaven would be driving an open-top down an ocean highway, surfboard on the back, babe-bot in the front, six-pack in the cooler, and one of those romantic lime-green sunsets melting on the horizon...
- - official website profile
- Lazy Bum: When his Helpfulness cellpoint setting is low.
- Voiced by Phil Pope"Don't suppose you're a military man? Military woman? Thing? Nah, lets keep things simple, I goes up, I goes down. Which is it to be?"
Like all lift operatives the galaxy over, Nobby was once an old soldier. He's no longer sure which war he fought in (he's seen so many action movies he gets confused), but he knows he did because he came home without an arm. Nobby's had every illness in the book and is determined to let you know the details.Travelling with Nobby is torture unless you have a deep interest in military history or the secret workings of the body...
- - official website profile
- Old Soldier: A nod to real-life ex-servicemen who used to act as lift operators in the UK.
- Split-Personality Merge: According to the now defunct Starlight Travel website, Nobby's personality is a composite of all 9,552 donor personalities after a 'typically military' cock-up in storage.
- Voiced by Dermot Crowley"Still, it's an answer you're wanting, isn't it? Hold your horses and let me think about it. On second thoughts, tie your horses up outside the saloon because they're upsetting the dancing girls!"
Fortillian Bantoburn O'Perfluous's personality has run bars all over the galaxy, but like most members of the Blarghish race he remains stubbornly and romantically Blarghish: one day he's going to return home to Blarghland and buy a little pub out on the stormy west coast.Most of the time he's charming and funny. Friend, guide, sporting encyclopaedia — he's the perfect barman. So what if he's got a nice line in whiplash insults and a resourcefully economic way with the truth..?
- - official website profile
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: Complete his cocktail for him and he - a robot, mind - will get drunk and make some very odd noises.
- Literal-Minded: According to Marsinta, the Blargish species his personality comes from takes everything literally.
- Voiced by Phil Pope" Do not prod my Achilles buttock! It is very unfair that I can not wiggle it away!"
D'Astragar "D'Astragaaar" D'Astragar is descended from an ancient family, renowned in their quadrant as top-flight maitre d's. Interestingly, the clan has also produced more than its share of ruthless assassins. It has, D'Astragar notes, occasionally been possible to combine the two in one job, though he hastens to add that he is on board the Starship Titanic solely in his role of cuisinier, not that of lethal and merciless killer.Nonetheless, it would be wise to think twice before sending back the soup...
- - official website profile
- Battle Butler: The Maitre'd Bot is secretly trained to double as an assassin. Not that it helps much when broken into pieces.
- Gratuitous French: This happens almost every time he talks to you.
- Voiced by Douglas Adams"You want suck? I suck. You want blow? I blow. You want intellectual disputation? I got a big belch. [belches]"
Normally you get paid when you donate your personality. When Shorbert Sweet offered his, they told him not to worry, they'd take it away for free.Given Shorbert's work history, becoming a Succ-U-Bus is a promotion, but it hasn't gone to his head: he hates his work, he hates life, he hates being disturbed. He does like sleep and chickens. Nobody knows why...
- - official website profile
- Adaptation Name Change: Is called Vac-U-Bus in the novelization.
- Big Eater: Attempt to send a chicken across the ship and he'll just eat it. Unless it's got sauce on.
- Gasshole: A virtual one, at that.
- Voiced by Terry Jones"You are entering parrot space! Tickets please! Show your passports! Get a bloody move on!"
A workman's parrot left on board the ship.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Loves to eat chicken. Unless it's got sauce on.
- Polly Wants a Microphone: He likes to crack jokes most of the time, regardless of where you are on the ship.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: When screeching.
- Voiced by Laurel Lefkow"I'm really sorry about the parrot."
The core of the ship, the central intelligence. Bits of her mind are hidden all over the ship.
- Apologises a Lot: The first thing she says after you put her back together is an apology for the behavior of the parrot, then a little later she apologises for Leovinus and for the trouble you've been through.
- Robot Girl/Spaceship Girl: Well, woman, whom her creator is in love with; also the main computer.
