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Tristan Thorne
Played by: Charlie Cox
The young protagonist of our story.
- Abled in the Adaptation: In both the book and movie Tristan burns his left hand. In the book this permanently injures his hand to the point of it being useless. In the movie the burn is painful but not debilitating.
- Action Hero: In the climax after being trained by Captain Shakespeare, his prior attempts having been hilarious failures.
- Adaptation Name Change: Originally Tristran in the novel, but changed to the more conventional-sounding Tristan for the film.
- Alliterative Name: Both his first and last name begin with a "t". Tristan Thorn.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Yvaine, before they confess their love three-quarters of the way into the film.
- Changeling Fantasy: Quite literally — he's raised by his father in England, but his mother is from another world that, explicitly in the book and heavily coded as such in the film, is the land of Faerie. He's also thoroughly out of place, and clumsy, in Wall, but once he spends some time in Stormhold and gets his feet under him, he's much more confident and coordinated.
- Cute Clumsy Guy: For much of the film. He's adorable, sweet, and not the most coordinated person in the world, a symptom of not fitting in back in England, which is implied to be related to the fact that he's half-faerie.
- Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments, usually with Yvaine.
- Epic Fail: His every attempt at being an Action Hero, prior to being taught to fight by Captain Shakespeare. It's implied that being in Stormhold helps a lot with his coordination.
- The Everyman: While he has a magical/royal heritage, he is completely unaware of it, and for most of the film is a clumsy country boy who is entirely out of his depth in Stormhold and very, very confused by everything that's going on. This changes over the course of the film, largely thanks to Character Development and the mentorship of Captain Shakespeare.
- Gag Haircut: Tristan's ordinary short hairstyle is cut even brutally shorter, before magically growing a foot past his shoulders, eventually ending up about six inches below his ears.
- Important Haircut: Shakespeare cuts his hair as part of his badass makeover. Subverted in that after being cut off (see above) it magically grows out before being trimmed again into a style more befitting a swashbuckling hero.
- Instant Expert: He masters swordsmanship incredibly quickly under Captain Shakespeare's tutelage. However, it's mentioned that he was taught fencing at school (though he was incredibly bad at it), so he at least knew the basics, and it's implied that being half from Stormhold, he needed to spend time there to flourish.
- Master Swordsman: Towards the end of the film, after the pirates teach him how to fight, he becomes quite skilled with his sword.
- The Navigator: In the novel, Tristran can locate any place in Faerie he seeks, which is a family gift on the Stormhold side. This skill is downplayed in the film, but implied in Tristan's inherent sense that he's going the right way to reach Wall (which he wrongly attributes to his love of Victoria).
- Nice Guy: Despite the incredible Belligerent Sexual Tension between him and Yvaine and his rude behaviour toward her (of course, she doesn't make things any easier), Tristan is a very sweet and romantic guy.
- Not Staying for Breakfast: He wakes up before Yvaine so he can give a lock of her hair to Victoria (as per their agreement) and then tell her he's no longer interested, intending to get back before Yvaine wakes up, leaving a message to this effect with the sleeping night porter. Sadly, Yvaine wakes up before he gets back, gets a garbled version of his message, and interprets his actions differently...
- Out-of-Character Moment: A pretty jarring one, too. The otherwise sweet, romantic, considerate Tristan's first reaction on seeing an injured woman on the ground is to force her to walk on her injured leg for a several-day journey to his village, just so he can present her as a gift to his crush. It's probable that What Measure Is a Non-Human? is in play, and he had originally intended to use the Babylon Candle to get back, then opted not to use it so he could give it to her to get home afterwards, but that's still pretty callous. He comes around pretty quickly, however, once he stops focusing solely on Victoria (and probably once he's confronted with the reality of both what's going on and Yvaine's personhood).
- Really Royalty Reveal: Tristran/Tristan is the son of Princess Una, and thus in line for the throne of Stormhold. This comes to light after his seven uncles have all been killed, making him the remaining heir.
- Scars Are Forever: Quite uncommonly for a fairy tale, he never heals his burnt hand. Either there is no cure available, (which is quite difficult to believe, given that he becomes a king in a world full of magic), or both he and Yvaine just eventually decide to keep their handicaps.
- Snark-to-Snark Combat: With Yvaine, as part of their Belligerent Sexual Tension. It's one of the few signs prior to Captain Shakespeare's mentorship that he actually has a backbone.
- Spared by the Adaptation: The book opts for a Bittersweet Ending by having him die of old age, leaving Yvaine to rule in his stead forevermore. The movie avoids this with a Prophecy Twist: thanks to their love, he metaphorically possesses Yvaine's heart, and therefore benefits from the immortality it confers. The two use a Babylon Candle to join the stars once their children are old enough to rule.
- Stellification: In the film, after ruling Stormhold for eighty years, he goes to the sky to live forever as a star alongside Yvaine.
- Took a Level in Badass: Halfway through the movie, after he gets a Training Montage from Captain Shakespeare and his crew.
- Unexpected Successor: His uncles all end up dying and resign themselves to being stuck as ghosts together for the rest of eternity, as they can only pass on when a new king is crowned, and all the known potential male heirs are dead. Then Tristan picks up and accidentally restores the ruby, demonstrating to said uncles that the young man accompanying the star, who two of their brothers have encountered, is actually the bastard son of their long-lost sister, and thus their nephew, making him the sole remaining male heir to the Stormhold bloodline.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: One can only assume the otherwise sweet and considerate Tristan forces injured Yvaine to walk on her bad leg just so he can give her as a present to his crush because she's a star, and therefore not worthy of the same kindness as he gives other human beings. Either way, he eventually sees the error of his ways. Even before, it is worth noting that he does intend to give her the remains of the Babylon candle to get home, which only has one use left, rather than just using it to zap them back to Wall and leave her to swing in the wind.
Yvaine
Played by: Claire Danes
A fallen star.
- Abled in the Adaptation: Crashing to Earth injures her leg and leaves her with a limp in both the book and movie. In the movie, however, Lamia heals her leg with magic, while in the book, her limp is permanent.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Tristan, and plenty of it. Even when she confesses her feelings to Tristan, she openly states that love can easily be mistaken for hatred, and a lot of her early conversations with Tristan are filled with disdain and snark.
- Break the Cutie: When she thinks Tristan has left her for Victoria the morning after they slept together.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: When a groggy Tristan mistakes Yvaine for Victoria, Yvaine is annoyed and replies, "I think I preferred 'mother'."
- Crash-Into Hello: A pretty big crash-into, as Tristan is sent rocketing through the sky after using a Babylon candle and crashing into Yvaine, mistaking her for his mother.
- Deadpan Snarker: For a star who spent most of her life by herself in the sky, she sure can be quite snarky.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: She initially is very cold and rude to Tristan — considering they met when he chained her up and forced her to walk a good number of miles on her injured leg just so he could present her to his crush, it's kind of hard to blame her for not liking him at first — but eventually warms up to him, and even falls in love with him.
- Eternal Love: In the film, with Tristan.
- Fish out of Water: She is quite naïve and not exactly well-versed in human behaviour; for example, she has no idea what a massage is. Justified in that stars can only watch the world from a distance, and they can't hear or interact with earthlings.
- Fountain of Youth: Anyone who consumes the heart of a star is restored to their youth along with everlasting life. The happier the star when killed, the more years added. In the film, it turns out that metaphorically possessing the heart, i.e. the love, of a star has the same effect — and it never runs out.
- MacGuffin Super-Person: Yvaine is this, being a fallen star who can glow with happiness to vaporize evildoers and whose heart grants everlasting life and restored youth.
- Meaningful Name: Yvaine's name originates from Scotland, meaning "evening star" or "first star of the night". Tristan lampshades this when he realizes that Yvaine is literally the Evening Star.Tristan: [looks up in the sky] The Wall's north. And if you look up in the sky, even during the day, you can see... [realization kicks in] ...the evening star. That's so weird.
Yvaine: [limps over to a tree] Hilarious, my sides are splitting.
Tristan: [smiling in amazement and disbelief] Wait, that... that was you? Really?! - Not a Morning Person: Or a day person, really. Stars come out at night.
- Phosphor-Essence: Yvaine glows more brightly the happier she is.
- Power Glows: Her ability to shine only happens when she's happy. However, it's more than aesthetic, as Yvaine completely vaporizes Lamia when she really shines.
- The Power of Love: What allows her to defeat Lamia. Tristan coming to rescue her from Lamia makes her so happy she glows bright enough to explode the witch.
- Really 700 Years Old: Due to being a literal fallen star, it's likely that Yvaine is centuries if not millennia old. Tristan even mentions that people used her as a navigation point when she was know as the "Evening Star".
- Road Trip Romance: She falls for Tristan on their way back to his village.
- Scars Are Forever: Not in the film, where she's healed by Lamia (to put her at her ease and make her heart brighter), but in the book, quite uncommonly for a fairy tale, she never heals her leg, and retains a lifelong limp. Either there is no cure available, (which is quite difficult to believe, given that she becomes a queen in a world full of magic), or both she and Tristran just eventually decide to keep their handicaps.
- Sentient Star: A star that fell from space and takes the form of a young girl.
- Snark-to-Snark Combat: With Tristan.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Well, fluent unicorn at least. Hinted at when Yvaine is riding atop the unicorn that freed her from the magic chain Tristan was leading her around on and telling it all about her grievances (mainly with Tristan). Whether or not the unicorn can fully understand her and is asking Yvaine to tell it more or if she's just venting is never stated.
- Stars Are Souls: In this case, people, when they fall to Earth.
- True Blue Femininity: The dress and cloak she gets from Captain Shakespeare are both in shades of blue. She's later seen wearing a blue robe when she and Tristan are crowned as King and Queen of Stormhold.
- Unknowingly in Love: Lampshades this when confessing her love for Tristan (after A Match Made in Stockholm and spending most of the film getting into squabbles with him), as she admits love is "strangely easy to mistake for loathing".
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: She finds herself on the receiving end of this quite a bit. The otherwise kind and gallant Tristan thinks nothing of forcing her, an injured woman, to walk on her injured leg a few days' journey to give as a present to his crush just because she's a star rather than a human. Fortunately, Tristan drops this behavior relatively quickly, being confronted with the reality of her as a person. Unfortunately, several other characters think nothing of wanting to butcher her and eat her heart just to restore their own youth.
Lamia
Click here to see her old appearance
Played by: Michelle Pfeiffer
An evil witch that desires Yvaine's heart so she may remain young and beautiful.
- Adaptational Villainy: While her goal is essentially the same in both versions, she's a lot nastier in the movie. In the book, she's a Graceful Loser once she realizes she's lost Yvaine's heart for good, and there's no hint that she'd ever betray her sisters. The movie plays up her vanity and selfishness much more, to the point where she rejoices when her sisters die because it means she won't have to share Yvaine's heart. Of course, her actions towards everyone else up until the climax are the same in the book and the movie, so she was never nice.
- Big Bad: She plays this role in the film, despite the attempts of Septimus to usurp her, and her sisters also desiring Yvaine's heart.
- Cast from Lifespan: Every time she uses her magic, she loses a little more of her youth and beauty.
- Evil Brit: She's played as such by the American Michelle Pfeiffer.
- Faux Affably Evil: Despite cursing or killing them, Lamia is always professional and amiable when dealing with others. She is doubly so for Yvaine, whom she's not only dead-set on gruesomely killing, but even tells her as much, while always pleasantly addressing her as "my love" or "my dear".Lamia: (opens the carriage door, revealing herself to Yvaine) "Planning to enter Wall, were you?"
(Yvaine looks at Lamia, shocked and somewhat fearful.)
Lamia: (walking over to Yvaine with a slightly evil smile) If death is what you wish for, my dear, I'd be more than happy to assist you. - The Hecate Sisters: She takes the role of the Maiden, as she is the most active and outwardly youthful of her sisters.
- Hot Witch: When she regains some of her youth at the beginning of the film.
- Lady of Black Magic: She specializes in offensive enchantments, and dresses to the nines as soon as she restores her youth.
- Ms. Fanservice: This is Michelle Pfeiffer we're talking about, after all.
- Pet the Dog: Lamia has two semi-moments of this: one is when she runs into a fellow witch, Ditchwater Sal, and politely requests to share a meal with her, though this is ruined when Sal puts limbus grass in her food to find out why Lamia was traveling, and the other is after magicking up an inn to lure the injured and soaked Yvaine to her, when Lamia heals Yvaine's twisted ankle. Granted, this is just so Yvaine will glow with happiness, making her power even stronger for when Lamia plans to cut out her heart, but the fact that Yvaine and Tristan make it out okay and Yvaine can now walk and dance without pain make it a nice gesture upon second viewing and in the long run in-universe.
- Showing Off the New Body: When she becomes young again, she drops her robe and looks at herself naked in the mirror, not without giving the audience a sexy look as she does so.
- Skyward Scream: Indulges in this in the Big "NO!"! variety after failing to stab Yvaine when she and Tristan use a Babylon Candle to teleport their way to safety.
- Solitary Sorceress: She lives in a crumbling manor/castle in the middle of a wasteland with her two sisters.
- Technicolor Fire: Her magic manifests as green flame.
- Vain Sorceress: Her main goal in the film is to eat Yvaine's heart to completely restore her youth and beauty.
- Wicked Witch: Duh. She is a witch queen whose entire motivation is to cut out a young girl's heart and eat it.
Septimus
Played by: Mark Strong
An opportunistic potential heir to the crown of Stormhold searching for the royal gem that Yvaine now holds.
- Adaptational Badass: In the book, his preferred weapon was poison, and he dies quite easily against the Witch. In the film, he's a blade-wielding badass, and ends up killing one of the witches before being defeated.
- Big Bad Duumvirate: With Lamia. At least, until Lamia kills him off and takes her place as the sole Big Bad. However, this is downplayed as his goals do not necessarily clash with Tristan's, and the two team up to take on the witches.
- Big Bad Wannabe: He ultimately proves no match for Lamia and her sisters, as after he kills one, Lamia easily finishes him off and turns him into an undead puppet.
- Determinator: Being repeatedly set on fire just seems to annoy him.
- Dragged Off to Hell: Implied. Unlike his brothers, whose souls turn blue and ascend, Septimus' soul turns red and goes down below.
- Even Evil Has Standards: His sister Una has been missing for years and is presumed dead, and Septimus is known to have killed several of his older brothers, but he is still deeply offended that everyone assumes he must have killed Una as well. As he points out, he would have no reason to kill her, given that Stormhold is an Heir Club for Men — as a daughter, she's not in the line of succession anyway.
- Evil Prince: He's not purely evil, just the most unscrupulous and opportunistic of his family.
- Evil Wears Black: The most ruthless of the Stormhold princes wears nothing but black. Curiously according to the magical runes his favourite colour is actually blue.
- Opportunistic Bastard: He's a scheming, backstabbing, and generally cunning prince who's ready to seize every chance he can get to lay his hands on the crown of Stormhold.
- Pet the Dog: A minor one, but he does offer to let Primus live if he does not pursue the stone, something unheard of in Stormhold history. Later on, he also lets Bernard live after the rest of his men get killed fighting Shakespeare's crew.
- Symbol Motif Clothing: He has the Roman numeral VII embroidered into his vest and the buttons have the number 7 on them.
- Tall, Dark, and Snarky: To a tee, with his snark being every bit equal to the likes of Yvaine.
Captain Shakespeare
Played by: Robert De Niro
A "fearsome" air pirate.
- Canon Foreigner: There was a lighting-harvesting ship captain in the book, but outside of the profession and retrieving the heroes, Shakespeare is a completely different character with a much larger role in the story.
- Camp Gay: His dark secret...but it turns out everyone already knew anyway.
- Everybody Knew Already: When he's accidentally outed as Camp Gay in front of his crew, they tell him they always knew.
- Hidden Heart of Gold: He pretends to be tough and threatening in front of his crew, but is secretly Camp Gay and quite a nice guy.
- Large Ham: You can tell Robert De Niro had fun playing this role.
- Liar Revealed: Played with but ultimately subverted. He believes that his crew only follows him due to his fearsome reputation and fears they’d abandon him if they found out he was really a softhearted Wholesome Crossdresser. In fact when they burst into his cabin to rescue him from Septimus (while he is wearing a ladies’ petticoat) they reveal not only that they don’t care about his orientation but that Everybody Knew Already and they follow him because he’s a good captain and they like him.
- Meaningful Name: He adopted "Shakespeare" as his pirate name for the double meaning. His crew and enemies think it means "Shakes Spear", but he knows it's a nod to the Bard.
- Nice Guy: Under his gruff facade, he's one of the outright nicest characters in the film.
- Secret-Keeper: He works out that Yvaine is a star in human form, and promises that he won't reveal it to anyone. He even gives her some advice on how to keep her secret from those who would harm her. His crew are all this for him, as they knew about his sexuality and crossdressing all along, but kept it to themselves.
- Wholesome Crossdresser: After the reveal that he's not a bloodthirsty monster who killed Tristan, we learn that he has a hidden closet full of dresses, among other items of opulent clothing.
Victoria Forester
Played by: Sienna Miller
The spoiled lady occupying the heart of Tristan.
- Adaptational Jerkass: She's nice and sweet in the book, but an Alpha Bitch in the movie.
- Alpha Bitch: She has this role in the village. In the book, she eventually becomes a Lovable Alpha Bitch.
- False Soulmate: Tristan wholeheartedly believes he and Victoria are meant for each other. He learns better over the course of the film.
- It's All About Me: What Victoria seems to think, even after Tristan flat out tells her to "get over herself."
- Romantic False Lead: Given her unpleasant behavior and stringing Tristan along, and that she's in less than five scenes for the whole movie, it's quite obvious she's this for Tristan.
- Satellite Love Interest: Tristan would do absolutely anything to win her heart, though she's due to marry another man, and that's pretty much all we know about her. As his relationship with Yvaine the fallen star grows, Yvaine even points out that she's not exactly proving her love to him the way he is to her... and eventually, he figures this out himself and dumps her for Yvaine.
- Spoiled Brat: In the original book, she was actually sweet, whereas here her only sweetness is that she's nice to Tristan out of pity, and stops being nice the minute she actually expects something of him. Otherwise, she only thinks of herself.
Dunstan Thorne
Played by: Ben Barnes (young) and Nathaniel Parker (middle-aged)
Tristan's father, who ventured beyond the Wall one night eighteen years ago.
- Decoy Protagonist: At first, the story follows him as the main protagonist, but after the prologue ends, the focus shifts to Tristan.
- Good Parents: He's shown to be a caring and loving father to Tristan.
Primus
Played by: Jason Flemyng
Another prospective heir to the crown of Stormhold.
- Adaptational Heroism: In the book he killed Secundus years before the start of the story, whereas in the film Septimus is the one to do the deed at their father's deathbed.
- Adaptational Wimp: He was a lot more cunning in the book. He was always highly suspicious of Septimus, and in the book, Tertius was killed by poison at a later stage in the story, while Primus always made sure to carry his own prepared drink. In the film, Primus only survives the poisoning through sheer luck (though by the time he gets to Lamia's inn, he's wise to it, and makes sure not to drink anything but his own drinks). Other scenes, like when he outwits Septimus at the harbour, were omitted.
- Benevolent Mage Ruler: Albeit he's only a prince, but he can interpret runestones while Septimus needs to have a soothsayer do it for him.
- Blue Blood: The firstborn son of Stormhold's king. He also turns out to be a literal example of the trope when he gets his throat cut by Lamia.
- Naked People Are Funny: He dies in the bath at the hands of Lamia, and when he reappears as a ghost, he wears nothing but a Modesty Towel — or, failing that, Hand-or-Object Underwear.
- Nice Guy: While still a bit snooty (he is a prince), he is friendly and welcoming to Tristan.
- Purple Is Powerful: Each of the princes has a different colour theme, and Primus' colour is various shades of purple; appropriate to his status both as the oldest son and the one who'd likely have made the best king if the rules of succession weren't so messed up.
- Token Good Team Mate: He's pretty much the one unambiguously decent guy out of all the princes of Stormhold. Except for Tristan, not that anyone but Una knows it.
- Too Dumb to Live: Zig-Zagged. He's smart enough not to accept a drink from a stranger, but he does walk straight into Lamia's trap anyway.
The Stormhold Royal Family
The King
Played by: Peter O'Toole
The dying elderly king of Stormhold.
- 13 Is Unlucky: It's uncertain whether he was actually the last born in his family, but he had twelve brothers, and they were certainly unlucky when it came to the succession.
- Evil Old Folks: He doesn't mind having his sons murdered by their own brothers in a competition to become the heir to the crown. After all, he did the same thing in his youth, though he does provide an alternative for his sons in finding the royal jewel.
- Morality Pet: It is implied his lost daughter Una is this for him; he doesn't seem to mind his sons dying, but is still calling out for Una when he dies, decades after she vanished.
- Opportunistic Bastard: He didn't hesitate to kill his brothers to get the throne of Stormhold, and Septimus has inherited this part of his nature.
- Small Role, Big Impact: His decision to force his sons to retrieve the royal jewel if they want to become king is what sets the whole plot in motion, in that it knocks Yvaine out of the sky.
Secundus
Played by: Rupert Everett
- Decoy Protagonist: He enters his dying father's bedroom to heroic music in fancy red clothing, tosses his hair... and is pushed out of the window by Septimus.
- Destination Defenestration: Septimus kills him by shoving him out of a very high window.
- Prince Charming: He's even played by the guy who plays Prince Charming in the Shrek films!
- Spared by the Adaptation: In a manner of speaking. He's introduced early in the movie, and swiftly killed by Septimus, but in the book he was dead before the story even started.
- Too Dumb to Live: Just after the King of Stormhold talks about having killed all of his brothers to become king, he tells Secundus to look out of the window... which happens to be right next to an absolutely immense drop. Secundus sees nothing suspicious about this, and is promptly killed by Septimus. And bear in mind that Secundus killed Quartus ten years before, so he's hardly a stranger to fratricide.
The Ghost Princes
Played by: Mark Heap (Tertius), David Walliams (Sextus), Julian Rhind Tutt (Quartus) & Adam Buxton (Quintus)
The ghosts of the former crown princes of Stormhold.
- Greek Chorus: Only visible to the audience, they love commenting on whatever is happening during the course of the film.
- Jacob Marley Apparel: As ghosts, their appearances are stuck as how they looked at the moment of death. Quintus has an axe embedded in his head, while Quartus appears to be covered in ice, and Sextus is heavily burned.
- Out with a Bang: In the book, Tertius dies having sex with a prostitute.
- Posthumous Character: Quartus, Quintus and Sextus were all killed before the film begins, and Tertius only lasts two scenes before dying too.
- Power Perversion Potential: Tertius spies on Tristan and Yvaine when they have sex during their night at the inn, but his brothers call him out on this.
The Slave Girl/Una
Played by: Kate Magowan
A beautiful woman enslaved by the witch Ditchwater Sal that seduces Dunstan Thorn and then gives birth to Tristan.
- Absurdly Youthful Mother: There is a seven-year age gap between Kate Magowan, who plays her, and Charlie Cox, the actor playing Tristan. It's possible that her prolonged youth is part of the spell she's under or it may be due to her being royalty of a magic land.
- Blue Blood: She is actually a long-lost princess of Stormhold.
- Forced Transformation: Ditchwater Sal typically keeps her in the shape of a bluebird, only changing her back into her human form when she has a task for her.
- Made a Slave: Some time ago, she was enslaved by Ditchwater Sal.
- Mama Bear: In a non-biological way towards Yvaine. Una has a downplayed Mama Bear moment when Lamia follows Yvaine and Una down to the Wall to capture her, in that Una doesn't lose her temper, threaten Lamia, or throw a punch, like the usual example of this trope would. Instead, she stands tall against Lamia and body-shields Yvaine from her, as a realistic mother would do to protect their child from a suspicious stranger. She also comforts her in a maternal fashion as they ride in Lamia's carriage.
- Morality Pet: She's apparently this to her whole family, as her father who laughs when her brothers are killed still calls out for her as he dies, and when her identity is revealed in the end, all her brothers call out happily. Even Septimus seems somewhat happy to see her.
- Missing Mom: She decided to give Tristan to Dunstan on the other side of the Wall, and never had the chance to raise him. They meet only later when Tristan is eighteen and comes to Stormhold.
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Upon noticing Yvaine leaving for the town of Wall, Una hijacks Ditchwater Sal's cart (at the risk of severe punishment from her mistress) and races to the wall to stop Yvaine from crossing the gap, as Yvaine will be reduced to literal stardust if she does, and stands up for Yvaine out of no motive than to save an innocent girl's life. In fact, this is Una and Yvaine's first time meeting each other. Una gets repaid by being magically enslaved again, but this time by Lamia. Fortunately, Lamia gets vaporized by Yvaine's Power Glow, and Una is freed from slavery for good.
- True Blue Femininity: Both her dresses are blue, to reflect how she's much calmer and more sensible than her brothers.
- Women Are Wiser: She is much more caring and not as ambitious as her brothers.
Ditchwater Sal
Played by: Melanie Hill
An old witch and trader, and the master of Tristan's mother.
- Affably Evil: She kidnapped Tristan's mother when she was just a child to enslave her, and would have used Yvaine for her own purposes if she could perceive her, but she does keep her promises, such as taking Tristan to the market without harming him, even if she turns him into a dormouse for the journey.
- Your Head Asplode: Lamia kills her by vaporizing her head with a fire blast.
Ferdy the Fence
Played by: Ricky Gervais
A chatterbox and sly merchant.
- Deadpan Snarker: Like most of the cast.
- Jerkass: Let's face it, he's kind of an ass. He's not especially malicious, but he's not pleasant, either.
- Motor Mouth: He never, ever shuts up, so Lamia turns his voice into that of a monkey. This winds up being his downfall when Septimus thinks that he's mocking him.
Humphrey
Played by: Henry Cavill
Tristan's rival for the affection of Victoria.
- Ambiguously Bi: Or Ambiguously Gay. Or perhaps just a heterosexual crossdresser. In the coronation scene at the very end, he's seen sharing a wink with Captain Shakespeare, to the confusion and/or frustration of Victoria.
- The Bully: To Tristan.
- Canon Foreigner: The suitor Victoria prefers in the book (Robert Monday, a much older Nice Guy and Tristran's boss) is an entirely different character.
- Jerk Jock: Humphrey gets a line that implies he's been bullying Tristan since their school days — specifically that he whupped him in their fencing lessons.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: When Tristan reveals his new sword and confidence, Humphrey simply says "Ah." and puts his own sword back in its sheath rather than go through with fighting Tristan.
- Sword Cane: Carries one with him at all times.
Empusa and Mormo
Played by: Sarah Alexander and Joanna Scanlan
Lamia's equally villainous witch sisters.
- The Beastmaster: Mormo's main power. Though unfortunately, the animals turn against her when Tristan frees them from their cages and maul her to death.
- The Hecate Sisters: Mormo takes the role of the Matron, as she is rather plump and motherly-looking, while Empusa takes the role of the Crone, as she is more spindly in appearance and seems the most bitter and sarcastic of the three.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Empusa gets stabbed through the chest by Septimus.
- Karmic Death: Mormo gets torn to pieces by the animals she keeps around for the sisters to use as divination sacrifices.
- Playing with Fire: Empusa's specialty, though Lamia's no slouch either.
The Wall Guard
Played by: David Kelly
"Give my best to your father."
The guard of the passage between the town of Wall and the fantasy world of Stormhold.
- Canon Foreigner: He only exists in the movie, as in the books, there was no one single guard of the Wall. Instead, all the citizens of Wall took turns guarding the gap, two at a time.
- Martial Arts Staff: His weapon of choice. At first appearing like a mere support for an elder man, he actually uses it like a martial arts bô.
- Old Master: Despite being over 90 years old, he can still fight using martial arts, as demonstrated against Tristan when he tried to cross to Stormhold like his father did.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After witnessing a battle between two witches through the gap in the wall, he starts leaving just as Tristan shows up.Tristan: What happened?
Guard: Be my guest. I quit. Eighty years, I've stopped you people going out. What I should have been worrying about was those people from the other side coming in.
