Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Want To Avoid Spoilers
Main Characters
Hiro Protagonist
- Badass Bookworm: Hiro is a brilliant programmer by trade, but is also an incredibly dedicated swordsman.
- Badass Driver: Hiro's introduction is driving at lunatic speeds to deliver a pizza before the 30 Minutes, or It's Free! time expires. He's also a great motorcyclist.
- Dreadlock Warrior: Given that his dad was African-American, him growing dreads makes a lot of sense (though they're braids rather than true dreads).
- The Last DJ: One of the implied reasons why Hiro isn't making money from programming, despite his skills and status in the field, is because he grew disgusted with the corporate takeover of the software field:When Hiro learned how to do this, way back fifteen years ago, a hacker could sit down and write an entire piece of software by himself. Now, that's no longer possible. Software comes out of factories, and hackers are, to a greater or lesser extent, assembly-line workers. Worse yet, they may become managers who never get to write any code themselves.
- Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Hiro is described as a handsome, fine-featured man with long hair.
- Meaningful Name: Parodied
- Playful Hacker: Well, less playful as he is joyful. Hacking is Hiro's true passion and his true gift, and he doesn't like messing around with the stuff other people make as much he just likes messing around by making stuff. In universe, Hiro is Famed In-Story as the guy who invented swordfighting in The Metaverse and was one of the OG programmers. Unfortunately that didn't lead to financial success.
- Stock Light-Novel Hero: Hiro is the Unbuilt Trope version of this. While he's written as a cliche example, being a pretty boy with exceptional programming skills and who still carries around a sword in a world full of guns, he's a Jaded Washout by the standards of his peers and he has a hard time holding a steady job or relationship.
Y.T. (Yours Truly)
- Action Girl: YT never actually engages in any straight-on fights, but her many high-speed escapes, stunts and slick moves will make that fact easy to forget.
- Everyone Loves Blondes: Every male character in the book is interested in Y.T. whether it be Hiro's partnership, Uncle Enzo's paternalism, Raven's outright lust, L. Bob Rife's kidnapping...
- Meaningful Name: Parodied, with Hiro and others thinking she's just calling herself "Whitey."
- Third-Person Person: Sometimes she refers to herself in the third person.
- Totally Radical: While her speech is supposed to be some sort of ultra-cool skater slang, it comes across as this, but given Snow Crash's status as possible Stealth Parody, it's possibly intentional.
- Where da White Women At?: Y.T. expresses mild interest in Hiro a couple times (even thinks about "going into the back of a car" with him before deciding against it) but the age gap and Hiro's interest in Juanita put a kibosh on that.
Juanita Marquez
- Deadpan Snarker: A more subtle version of this trope, as Juanita slips little quips into her otherwise scientific monologues
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: With Hiro, at least until the end.
- Women Are Wiser: Juanita in a nutshell.
- Working with the Ex: With both Hiro (her ex-boyfriend) and Da5id (her ex-husband)
Da5id
- Fate Worse than Death: Is implied to be left permanently brain damaged from the Snow Crash virus .
- Too Dumb to Live: This guy is supposed to be smart enough to have helped build the Metaverse, and runs the hottest joint in the Metaverse, and he opens a "cyber drug" from a seriously sketchy "black-and-white person" without a moment's hesitation.
- Working with the Ex: With Juanita
Cult of Asherah
L. Bob Rife
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Rife controls 99.99% of the telecommunications market.
- Family-Values Villain: He complains about the corruption of modern culture and the environment.
- Generic Doomsday Villain: Rife might have some personality, but he doesn't seem to have a motivation any more complex than "take over the world".
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Rife is basically a cross between Ted Turner and L. Ron Hubbard.
Raven
- The Ace: Raven is a master swimmer, fighter, lover, leader...he's the baddest dude in the universe, and everybody knows it.
- Badass Biker: Raven is one tough customer and drives a motorcycle with a nuke in the sidecar.
- Best Served Cold: His father got nuked twice by the Americansnote , so he wants to nuke America in return.
- Lightning Bruiser: Raven is a hulking badass and quite quick as well.
Uncle Enzo
- Affably Evil: Enzo is the head of the Mafia, but still a Cool Old Guy. And besides, the world has gotten much more fierce, so he's no more evil than any other powerful businessman.
- Cool Old Guy: Enzo is well into his middle age, but far from out of touch.
- The Don: Enzo is the head of the Mafia. He's even their corporate mascot.
