Characters / Precocious

Current and Former Students of the 4th/5th Grade Class at Poppinstock Academy

Buddy Champ Oven, aka Bud Oven

• Author Avatar: In his FAQ, Chris states that Bud was originally "a cartoony avatar of myself."
• Gender Equals Breed: Inverted. He is a Scottish fold like his mother.
• Large Ham: It can be argued to be his normal method of speaking. For an example.
• Limited Wardrobe: He has his jeans, black vest, and wifebeater.
• Only Known By Their Nick Name: Buddy Champ Oven...sorta. That's actually his full name. Blame his dad Joseph.
• Practically Different Generations: He's a kid in grade school, yet has an older sister who's already an adult working for NASA.
• Team Chef: Especially with baked goods. To the point that if you see one of the adults baking something delicious it's probably to his recipe.

Autumn Pingo

• Children Are Innocent: Invoked. She uses this trope to her advantage by wearing a schoolgirl outfit in order to heighten people's perception of her innocence.
• Deliberately Cute Child: Autumn uses a schoolgirl uniform to try to invoke this in others.
• Generation Xerox: Looks just like her parents, has the same interest in library science, and has occasionally been accused of being a clone of them.
• Limited Wardrobe: Her Catholic schoolgirl outfit (their school doesn't have uniforms, she wears it to make people underestimate her), though she sometimes wears a tanktop and sweatpants in summer.
• New Transfer Student: The comic starts shortly after her family moves into Sapphire Lake and she starts attending Poppinstock, allowing her to act as an Audience Surrogate who gets stuff explained to her for the first couple years, but she adjusts fairly quickly and soon becomes just another of the kids.

Tiffany Et

• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: It is perhaps fortunate that she is easy to distract, and usually doesn't return to that train of thought anytime soon.
• Beware the Silly Ones: Despite her chaotic and cloudcuckoolander tendencies, the local mob fears her.
• Big Sister Instinct: If this strip is anything to go by, she's perfectly cool with her younger siblings joining her in her mischief, but only if she can make sure they won't get hurt.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: She is known to do strange things such as randomly digging a hole or drawing continuing far past the canvas.
• Cool Big Sis: we rarely see much of Tiffany interacting with her younger siblings, but what we do see heavily implies they really look up to her and they enjoy following her example of spreading anarchy and mischief.
• Expressive Accessory: She wears a smiley-face pin whose expression occasionally changes to match its wearer's mood.
• Gadgeteer Genius: She occasionally throws together a surprisingly sophisticated device, such as a smart light.
• Heavy Sleeper: When she is not causing destruction and chaos or finding an addiction, she can normally be seen sleeping in the background.
• Limited Wardrobe: Her green dress with a smiley-face pin.
• Serial Killer: Early on she was voted unanimously to be "most likely to become a serial killer". And she does do a lot of digging in the backyard.
• Sleep Cute: Exceedingly cute.

Jacob Linkletter

• Ambiguously Jewish: There is one strip where he wears a yarmulke, with a gas-fueled menorah on top, but otherwise there's no mention of him following any religion.
• The Chew Toy: Pretty much everyone but Max picks on him at some point. It's pretty telling when your Catchphrase is "Augh!"
• Children Are Innocent: He is a sweet, caring young boy who is so kind and selfless that his being selfish or mean for a change has been a punchline unto itself and there was even an arc about it. Although he's become more and more like his friends as time's gone on. He's still rarely the instigator of the evil schemes, but he's proven more than happy to take part in the planning of the group's immoral activities.
• Determinator: His persona of Target Man, with the power to absorb all hits and keep getting up.
• The One Who Wears Shoes: Only once but still noteworthy since that was the only time to date that any articles of footwear were seen (outside of guest strips).
• Wholesome Crossdresser: Suzette made him wear a frilly dress to make a statement, you gotta admit he looks real good in it.

Suzette Grady

• Grade-School C.E.O.: Despite starting out the poorest member of the cast she's since built up the "Blame Jacob" brand into a force that she claims can decimate China's economy.
• Straw Feminist: She more often than not proves to be an easily agitated womyn who always seems to have a speech ready. Particularly noticeable in the earlier strips.
  Suzette: So screw equality--Let's take it all! IT'S OUR TURN TO DOMINATE!!

Dionne Crup

• Card-Carrying Villain: She freely admits her selfishness and evil intentions in a debate for class president.
• Cats Are Mean: Said to have no soul and is a cheetah.
• Children Are Innocent: Averted. She takes great pleasure in crushing the souls of others due to her lack of one.

• Jerkass: A pageant girl who despite hating pageants enters them to see the look of hopelessness on the losers' faces. She seems to have the whole process down.
• Phrase Catcher: "You have no soul, Dionne."

Max Zeit

• Actual Pacifist: Only one of the kids to not willingly hurt others.
• Beware the Nice Ones: He sank the mighty Buddleship using only an unknown object he grabbed from a junk pile, and the ability to swim.
• Children Are Innocent: He seems oblivious to the existence of bad or evil in the world. He's considered kind of strange by the rest of the kids, and although respected for his abilities, he's also frequently manipulated by the others or resented for the consequences of his Incorruptible Pure Pureness.
• Nice Guy
• Only Sane Man: Has played the role from time to time.

Roddy Finnegan

• My Friends... and Zoidberg: Kaitlyn ony invited him to her birthday party because he gives good gifts. His only real friend is Max.
• Phrase Catcher: "Roddy! What are you doing here?"

Kaitlyn Hu

• Ascended Extra: Was referred to by Chrispy as the central character of another strip. That other strip (Copper Road) , featuring her and the other side of the class, was eventually made.
• Big Sister Mentor: Toward Ursula, despite them being close to the same age. Kaitlyn seems to be the kid most dedicated to helping Ursula adapt to the world outside the latter's sheltered upbringing.
• Hero of Another Story: On the cast page, she is described as "the central character in another strip". She literally became this later, with the introduction of the Precocious spinoff strip, Copper Road.
• Only Sane Man: Her time spent observing the others has built up remarkable insight into the social dynamics of the class. She employs this to great effect starting in this strip. The ensuing conversation provides her with justified time in the spotlight.

Quincy Wozwax

• Proud to Be a Geek: He is quite proud. He once refers to a baseball bat as a "Wand of Awesome Power".

Vincent Iddenstein

• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Chrispy states in his sketch blog that he has an undiagnosed case of ADHD.
• He Who Must Not Be Seen: In the main comic, he was formerly given this treatment. He appears more often in voting incentives◊ and in the Copper Road strip.
• The Klutz: Since he doesn't pay much attention to his surroundings, he's prone to falling down and bumping into things.

Yvette Nutley

• Beware the Quiet Ones: She barely ever talks, but sometimes she gets scary. Like with her shockingly life-life plushies, and it's implied she attempted to make a Voodoo Doll of Ursula.
• Cute Mute: She's the perfect vessel for making jokes that are essentially mime routines.
• Generation Xerox: She takes a lot after her hippie mother Eva, as demonstrated when she comes back from "bring your daughter to work day" all covered in stuff from her mom's shop.

Ursula Xane

• Children Are Innocent: Due to having been raised in isolation by parents who have carefully controlled her knowledge of the outside world. She's so innocent that in one Copper Road strip, she actually believes FOX's claim of being "fair and balanced."
  Kaitlyn: She's so sheltered, exposing her to reality may literally kill her.
  Ursula: Really? Is that true? Why?!?
  Roddy: I'll tell you when you're older.
  Alt Text: I fear the day she learns there are more than three curse words out there.
• Hidden Depths: Despite her gentle personality and sheltered upbringing, She apparently knows how to make authentic working dynamite.
• Replacement Goldfish: She joins the class right after Xander leaves. Most of the others think she's an improvement.

Xander Upton

• Commuting on a Bus: He transferred to a private school, but still appears in the comic just about as often as he did before.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: More or less all Xander did during his time as a major character. He made no secret of his contempt for everyone else in the class, hence the transfer.

The Parents

Joseph & Sydney Oven

• Hands-Off Parenting: Joseph spends all his time in the basement working on art and hydroponics, while Sydney is always in the city managing the apartment complexes she owns. As a result Bud is a much better cook than either of them. It gets to the point where Autumn even forgets at one point that he even has parents.
• Manchild: Joseph's interests occasionally line up with the kids, and he helps them with their shenanagins.
• Took the Wife's Name: The Oven family's surname came from Sydney. Joseph changed his when they married. The reason is quoted below:
  Joseph Oven: I mean, my last name was Brungster! I couldn't subject my kids to that with a clean conscience.

Ivy & Soren Pingo

• Strong Family Resemblance: They all look so similar that there's rumors the Pingos reproduce by cloning.

Gene & Sky Et

• One-Hour Work Week: Nobody remembers what Gene's job description is or what he's responsible for. He's literally paid to sit in an out-of-the-way office and play video games all day.
  Alt Text: It's okay if you want to punch him.

Dierdre & Harvey Linkletter

Sadie & Don Grady

Caryn and Robert Crup

• Interspecies Romance: Caryn is either a black cat or a panther but her ex-husband (Dionne's biological father) was a cheetah and her current husband Robert is a Maine Coon cat.

Shii Ann & Hiram Hu

• The Ditz: Shii Ann isn't quite at Too Dumb to Live levels, but her brain is highly unreliable.

Candice Givens & Eva Nutley

• Amoral Attorney: Candice professes to be such, and frequently makes Evil Lawyer Jokes about herself.
• Granola Girl: Eva dresses like it's the 70s and runs a New Age shop, and apparently smokes pot.

Dr. & Dr. Xane

• The Ghost: Even their car has never been shown.
• Helicopter Parents: They spend every school day in the parking lot, in a van covered with surveillance equipment. Mrs Monster seems to be downright afraid of the panic button that Ursula can use to summon them.
• Lies to Children: Possibly. This Copper Road strip calls into question whether they're actually doctors of any kind.
• MyBelovedSmother/Fantasy-Forbidding Father: They actively surpressed Ursula's knowledge of anything non-educational. They're so extreme on this point, it blurs the line between truth and over-the-top satire.

Other parents

• The Faceless: All that's ever been seen of Max's parents is a tail. It's not even known which parent it belonged to.

Other Family

Casey Oven

• Gender Equals Breed: Inverted. She is a white American shorthair like their dad.
• Grade Skipper: She likes to rub in Bud's face that she skipped a grade, and claims that because his (elite) school has a combined fourth and fifth grade class it's like he was held back.

"Uncle Mike" Et

Bernadette Et and family

• Embarrassing Last Name: "Et" does not combine well with her first name, her full name of "Bernadette Et" sounds like a stutter while her usual nickname "Bern" sounds more like an invitation to pyromania. She claims to have married her first husband just to change her name.
• Friend to All Children: In addition to getting along great with her own kids, she's quite generous to treating the other kids of Sapphire Lake to a good time, even treating them to ice cream twice in one day!
• Gender-Blender Name: Usually goes by "Bernie" or "Bern," which briefly confused Autumn as to her gender (her blackmail binders are color-coded that way, you see).

Michelangelo Et

Frida Et

The Et Twins

• Always Identical Twins: In fact, the number shirts they wear don't mean anything. They grab whichever they want and sometimes wear the same number simultaneously. Sky claims she can tell them apart, but cites no method other than the questionably effective "A mother knows."
• No Name Given: All that's known about their names is that they're named after artists, and are not named Joey and Julien.

Wen Hu

• Who's on First?: Wen possibly has it the worst of the Hu family as both his names sound like English words.

Other Adults

Bette Monster

• Actually Pretty Funny: In one arc, she gave the students an assignment where they each pretend to be each other's classmates. In this strip, they take it a step further with all of them pretending to be her and mocking her various characteristics, which she found amusing.
• Meaningful Name: Most of the students certainly think she's a monster.
• Sadist Teacher: Though considering her class she pretty much needs to be. And she's in cahoots...

Mitzy Bard

Other Kids

Johnny Turringer

• Butt-Monkey: He's made it in-panel once, before his most notable trait is developed: somehow, Max (the only nice kid in the main cast!) ends up causing him some sort of injury. Every time Johnny's come by after was preceded by some sort of crunch sound, as if a bone was being broken ...

Coral Jenkins

Cole

Other... other

The On-Cue Ball

• Deadpan Snarker: It is an oracle! ...Or, very possibly, prerecorded snark.
  '''"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying atten—I MEAN REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN!"

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