Characters / Polandball North American Nations

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Nations of Northern America

United States of America

LONG LIVE 'MURICA!

• The Ace: He certainly thinks he is, being incredibly powerful, (sometimes) surprisingly intelligent, and tends to have good relations... but is also the the first to jump into a fight and the butt of many jokes made by other countries.
  • Broken Ace: In some continuities, his shades are there so that no one can see him crying, whether because of Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, or some other tragedy in the past. In others, though, he uses them to hide the scar on his eye that he got for playing with a fork.
• Accidental Misnaming: Usually does this to the other countries due to his Global Ignorance. It's implied that he can't be bothered to learn their names. And even when he does, things just get more confusing for him.
• America Takes Over the World: Owns the largest economy in the world and pissing him off will end very badly for you.
• Animal Motifs: Eagles.
• Beware the Silly Ones: A Big Eater who is known for his Dumb Muscle and Global Ignorance traits, but once he gets his serious moments, he can be really◊ terrifying.
• Big Brother Instinct: Has this towards Canada, even if he gives Canada grief from time to time (as big brothers often do). He's outright dismissive of ISISball's threats and claims of power, but mess◊ with Canada◊ and he will end you.
• Big Eater: Is often seen surrounded by loads and loads of junk food.

• Blood Knight: Loves to throw down with rival nations, though verges into The Bully when he goes and picks fights with weaker nations.
• Boisterous Bruiser: Spearheads the NATO charge, and isn't afraid of comparing his military with anyone.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: He's the world leader in technology, and became a superpower, yet still can't be bothered to get anyone's name right.
• Brother–Sister Incest: His relationship with Canada often falls into this. Especially when if you consider France as his mother, with her being UK's sister through Rome.
• Bumbling Dad: He is this towards his children, adopted and biological.
• But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Many country balls are rather fixed on America as an Arch-Enemy, but unless they happen to be named Russia or China they would be lucky if he even remembers who they are.
  • Somewhat inverted with Vietnam as it's popular to have USA go ballistic with tears upon seeing Vietnam, even though Vietnam is under the impression that the war was just one of many Indochina conflicts at the time and that they're supposed to be friends now.

• Catchphrase: ''MURICA!' and "You done fucked up now." Also, "Does anyone want some freedom?" and "Did someone say oil?", both usually said while brandishing immense amounts of firepower.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Often talks like this. Even when he doesn't, he tends to use more profanity than most of the countries (with the exception of Australia).
• Comedic Sociopathy: There's more to him than being just a power-hungry Blood Knight, but with the number of foreign (mis)adventures he's been through, this characterization is inevitable. England may have been a bad influence on him.
• Cool Shades: He always wear sunglasses. Since all expressions for the countryballs are made with their large eyes, he usually looks like The Stoic as a result, even when he's not.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Often underestimated by the other countries as simply a huge idiot. However, this is still the same America that reached the moon and made the atomic Bbmb.
• Cultural Posturing: Par for the course.
• Defeat Means Friendship: He seems to have a habit of forming strong friendships with countries he has went to war with — such as Britain, Germany, Mexico, Vietnam, and Japan.
• Doting Parent: At times, he spoils his children. He is weak against Philippines' puppy dog eyes.

  China: ...是. Am into talking with 你的 boy just. Be thinking 你的 blat is beginning into spoir.

• Dumb Muscle: Often portrayed as none too bright, but packs a hell of a lot of firepower (for better or worse).
• Eagle Land: Mixed, when used for a gag he tends to be portrayed with Type 2. The more serious/heartwarming portrayals however lean hard towards Type 1.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • He might be America, but still. This is best demonstrated with Texasball who is every bad stereotype of America, so even America finds him a pain to deal with.
  • Despite the many, many crimes America committed against the Native Americans/First Nations, he draws the line at outright genocide◊.
• Fat Bastard: At his worst, America can be seen as big, dumb, lazy, and way too in to his fast food, drawn to look less like a ball and more like a giant blob (especially when portrayed as Type 2 Eagle Land
• Friendly Enemy: He's often seen hanging◊ out◊ with China, and offering economic advice.
• Heteronormative Crusader: Formerly.◊ Still may harbor some tendencies if given an Eagle Land Type 2 portrayal.
• Global Ignorance: as mentioned before, he can't keep the nations of Europe straight to save his life, and tends to lump the Middle Eastern ones together as terrorists, and the Eastern Asian ones as "commies".
  • He can't even tell the differences between the states or the country of Georgia and the state of Georgia.
  • He can't tell the difference between Chile and Texas despite him helping Chile gain his independence and that Chile's flag is 21 years older than the Texan flag.
• Good Parents: Surprisingly, his adopted children (Philippines, Liberia, Palau, Puerto Rico, etc.) all love him. Usually. ^note The fact that the USA gives aid to these countries, often times against the majority opinion of common citizens, may help out-of-universe.
• G-Rated Drug. Corn and it's many uses.◊
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Canada are total bros. Their relationship resembles roommates more then just friends.
• The Hero: Sometimes when portrayed as Type 1 Eagleland.
• Hidden Depths: Often dumb and overly belligerent, but once in a while we're reminded that the US detonated the first atomic bomb, put a man on the moon, and became the (more or less) sole superpower on earth.
  • This comic reminding people that America has a lot of culture.◊
• Hypocritical Heartwarming/Papa Bear: May be a jerk to Canada some of the time, but heaven help you if you threaten his younger sibling◊. He also doesn't take it kindly if you EVER dare to threaten any of his kids, just ask China
• In the Blood: Whilst he's composed of immigrants from everywhere, he has the biggest ties to his dad, UK... and, as France (frequently portrayed as his mother) and the UK note, he takes after his father in more ways than the UK would care to admit.
• Jock Dad, Nerd Son: Technically sons, compare him and Cuba, Palau, Philippines, Liberia etc. He's like a very muscular athlete among them and one of his sons is addicted to gaming while the other is a cute ball of innocent fluff and the other is often sick.
• Knight Templar Parent: Some comics depicts him as one.
• Large and in Charge: Like China and Russia, he's drawn as considerably bigger than the other balls.
• Large Ham: Loud, boisterous dialogue is the norm. Even on vacation...
• The Leader: When the 'stronk' arguments have halted, pretty much everyone agrees that he's the biggest powerhouse on the block, Dumb Muscle or no, and he's usually either the one to spearhead the charge or The Cavalry.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Occasionally he thinks about how he created the weapon that could bring about the apocalypse.
• Papa Wolf: He does not take it well whenever someone bullies his adopted children.
  • Weaponized by Philippines in which he threatens his rivals with just a phone call away.
• Parental Favoritism: Out of all the children he has, he seems to give more attention to Puerto Rico, Palau, and the Philippines.
• The Power of Friendship: He may annoy other balls by throwing his weight around, but he's learned to appreciate having friends◊ over the years.
• The Smart Guy: He is one of the few countries with (mostly) correct English, but he's more famous for his muscle than for his mind. However, he sometimes gets to show off his scientific advancement.
• Trademark Favourite Food: Burgers, Fries, Hot Dogs, and any other type of fast food.
• Unresolved Sexual Tension: Like he does not have any homo feelings for Canada...
• Vitriolic Best Buds: With Mexico.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: On occasion, America is portrayed as this for his father, the United Kingdom.
• Your Size May Vary: His most consistent size seems to about twice the height of most other countries, but he can be drawn as anything from the same size as everyone else to a Kaiju-sized colossus.

Canada

• Apologises a Lot: Par for the course. Canada wrote the word 'sorry' on a nuke.
  • Taken to the extremes in this comic◊, where he apologizes profusely to Ontario just because he bumped a little to him. It gets to the point where it becomes creepy above anything else.
• Arch-Enemy: Denmark is one of those who he is actively hostile to, mostly due to territorial disputes over Hans Island.
• Beware the Nice Ones: Can turn quite dangerous when provoked.
  • Saying he can get nasty with Denmark over territorial disputes◊ is a bit of an understatement.
  • Not a lot of people remember that Canada has one of the best anti-terrorist organizations in the world.◊
  • Nice to most animals except seals.
• Big Little Brother: When drawn bigger than the USA, since Canada has more landmass.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Some comics portray his Nice Guy visage as merely a front for a truly nasty person.
• Brother–Sister Incest: His relationship with America often falls into this. Especially when France as his mother, with her being UK's sister through Rome.
• Canadian Equals Hockey Fan
• Cultural Posturing: Brags to USA about his free healthcare and progressiveness.
• Cloud Cuckoo Landers Minder: Usually has to put up with the antics of Québec, who keeps demanding his independence.
• Comedic Sociopathy: Even he is not exempt from this. He clubs innocent seals to death in his spare time, doesn't treat his natives very well, and tells people to commit suicide at the slightest inconvenience. Several comics have portrayed Canada as an outright Jerkass who uses brainwashing and unprovoked insults rather than merely not one of the nicest countryballs. He seems to have problems with relationships.◊
• Daddy's Girl / Momma's Boy: Is often portrayed as this to the United Kingdom, and to a lesser extent France.
• Minored In Ass Kicking: When pressed, he reminds people that he BEAT America once.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: With USA. They seem to have a bit of bromance, even when they're portrayed as brothers.
• Nice Guy: The norm. It's driven to near-All-Loving Hero levels; when characterised as a female, she is The Pollyanna.
  • Subverted in this interpretation of relations with Québec. Also, see the aforementioned Beware the Nice Ones and Comedic Sociopathy entries.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: Sometimes portrayed as this to Québec.
• Suicide Dare: Several comics satirize his Medical Assistance In Dying program as his first (and only) solution to various problems.
• Token Good Teammate: One of the few countryballs without any major bigotries towards other races, gays or women. He even treats Cuba and China (countries America considers to be Dirty Commies) fairly well.
• Trade Mark Favourite Food: Poutine.
• Unresolved Sexual Tension: Him and America as usual.

Nations of the Caribbean

Cuba

• Antagonistic Offspring: Was adopted by the US. Is communist.
• Arch-Enemy: USA, of course. Less so in the present as the embargo is in the process of being dismantled.
  • Unknown Rival: From the USA's perspective, although he was obsessed with him for a short while and launched many disastrous attempts to get Cuba back to his side once the latter went communist. According to the USA, the reason he doesn't try to improve his relationship with Cuba is simply because he forgets Cuba even exists half the time.
• Commie Land: The Western Hemisphere's one and only. He's technically socialist, but still.
• Baseball Episode: A heavy hitter in baseball; he shines in these.
• Cigar Chomper: Likes to smoke.

• No Celebrities Were Harmed: His personality is based off Fidel Castro.
• Odd Friendship: With Canada, in spite of Canada's close relations to the USA and opposing ideologies.
  • Gets along fine with Russia, Venezuela, North Korea, Iran, and pretty much everyone that opposes the USA.
• The Un-Favourite: Was embargoed by his father. Somewhat getting along fine nowadays... slowly.

Dominican Republic

• Baseball Episode: A typical setting for him. He even exports his own players to the US to beef up their game!
• Cranky Neighbor: Of Haiti, both shares the same island: La Española.
• Family Man: Dominican Republic is very loyal to his family.
• The Rival: Haiti.

Haiti

• Big Eater: Haiti always appears if someone is eating.
• Born Unlucky: Between being forced to pay back his former colonizer and go into severe debt to obtain diplomatic recognition, having numerous governments that were unstable at best and outright oppressive at worst, and having to deal with natural disasters as well as a neighboring countryball that hates his guts (Dominican Republic), it's safe to say that he hardly if ever catches a break.
• Butt-Monkey: He's poor and never gets any respect.
• Hollywood Voodoo: He's a practicing voodoo master in the Polandball universe.
• Paper Tiger: He often seems himself as a villain. For the rest of countryballs, he's not.
• The Rival: Dominican Republic.
• Perpetual Poverty: In direct contrast with his neighbour, Dominican Republic.
• Small Name, Big Ego: He has twice in history claimed to be an "empire".
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: More than substitute, Haiti looks a lot like Liechtenstein. Also, it's his Berserk Button for being confused with Liechtenstein.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: With Chile, having earthquakes in common as well letting him stay with Chile.
• Voodoo Doll: Being a voodoo practitioner, Haiti is usually seen with one.

Jamaica

• Improbable Sports Skills: Yes, they have a bobsled team.
• The Stoner: Even moreso than Netherlands. He's high in almost every appearance of his.

Puerto Rico

• Identical Stranger: Is mistaken for Cuba a lot by USA. Their flags' colors are basically the switched-off versions of one-another.
• I Just Want to Be Special: He wants to be a state.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Has a love-hate relationship going on with Cuba— while their ideologies and opinions of the USA oppose each other greatly, they still respect each other as neighbors. Not to mention their flags are so similar.

Nations of Middle America

Costa Rica

• Actual Pacifist: Is very neutral and does not have an army.
• Identical Stranger: Has an unfortunate striking resemblance to North Korea, considering they are polar opposites in personalities.
• Nice Girl: Peace-loving, neutral, friendly, and a pacifist, she is a freaking treasure in the Polandball world.
• New-Age Retro Hippie: She is very peaceful and environmentally friendly.
• Only Sane Man: Can count as one, as she is sandwiched in the middle of a pretty volatile region, and is doing relatively well for herself compared to other Central American countries, along with Panama.
• Team Switzerland: One of the most neutral countries besides Switzerland and Liechtenstein, as shown in this comic.◊

Honduras

• I Just Want to Be Special: Is willing to do anything, even murder, to obtain recognition.

Mexico

• Ax-Crazy: His drug cartels are known to be very violent.
• Big Brother Mentor: Is one towards the other younger colonies while under Spain.
• Lazy Bum: A trait that he shares with his father Spain.
• Genki Guy: He is mostly seen happy and jovial in comics he has appeared in.
• His Own Worst Enemy: See for yourself◊.
• My Sister Is Off-Limits: Was not please when he sees Japan trying to "woo" Caroline Islands.
• Promoted to Parent: In actuality, Spanish East Indies are under his care so he raied the Philippines, Mariana and the Caroline despite being their brother, he is the proxy for his father's colonies. Costa Rica, Cuba, El Salvador and some are also under his care.
• Team Dad: Among the Hispanic-speaking countries.
• Trade Mark Favourite Food: Tacos, Tamales, and Burritos.
• Trauma Conga Line: Having a pretty bloody past with a lot of wars to back it up wasn't something to smile at. And then he has to deal with his drug cartels in the present days.
• We Used to Be Friends: Pines for the days when he had a better relationship with 'Merica.
• Workaholic: Even more so than Germany and South Korea. This may be based on the fact Mexico has the longest average work weeks in the world.

Panama

• Half The Clay He Used To Be: In almost every one of his appearances, he will be subject to this without his permission, referencing the canal that splits him in two.
• Nonstandard Character Design: Is often depicted bisected horizontally like the Canadians' heads in South Park.^note Despite the canal actually running northwest-southeast.
• Pungeon Master: He has quite a way with puns, so much that it's become sort of a superpower.