Pastamonsters: The Under Realm | The Main Trio | The Proxies | The Slender Family | Enderman and his allies | The Pit | The Human World | President Bush and Other Associates | Beings of the Universe | The Malitch Empire
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Malitch
Malitch
- Always Someone Better: To get an idea of how terrifyingly powerful Malitch is, Comickit directly compares him to Zalgo. Not just that, but they claim that Maltich is far more powerful.
- Arc Villain: Of the Grand Finale's arc.
- Asshole Victim: Malitch never even had time to react before he is killed. Although seeing all the misery he has caused the nearly all sapient life and the pure joy he gets off other people's suffering, it's safe to say he soundly deserved what was coming to him.
- Ax-Crazy: Although he’s very composed in any other situation, bordering on being emotionless, when the punches start flying he turns into a gleeful, screaming savage that won’t stop until his opponent is dead.
- Badass Boast:
- When Laughing Jack mentions Jeff's name.
"So this is his name. Jeff. Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!"- And when he defeats Jeff and BEN in their fight
Before you both die, I want to thank you for bringing me closer to my goals. Soon the universe will be clouded in darkness and I will rise from it as the supreme ruler. Face it, you cannot defeat me. - Badass Bookworm: He's an incredibly smart individual. He's also currently the only Pastamonsters antagonist who has never been defeated in a fair fight.
- Badass Longcoat: He wears a really flappy one to look intimidating.
- Bad Boss: Malitch, per Pastamonsters tradition, is not an individual who tolerates failure, so if anyone from the Malitch Empire fails in what they were supposed to do, Malitch will not hesitate to torture and/or kill them. Even when they don't deserve it, he treats his men like absolute garbage.
- Berserk Button: Apparently, not using your powers to enhance your potential is a huge one for him, as Ms. P, BEN, and Sally learn the hard way.
- Big Bad: Of the Grand Finale.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Pretends to be a caring, father-like figure to Sally, but is only manipulating the young girl so he can use her to betray Jeff.
- Blood Knight: Malitch's true personality shows when he's in a fight, also seen with his desire for a Worthy Opponent. During his final fight with Jeff, he starts laughing like a psychopath and demands more when he gets hurt.
- Bond Villain Stupidity: Despite clearly being able to kill Ms. P, BEN, and Sally himself, he opts to toy with the trio before their executions, tossing them around like a child playing with toys. If he would have killed them rather than toy with them, he wouldn't have died.
- Boomerang Bigot: He hates and wishes to kill mentally ill people over the frustration of his own insanity.
- Break Them by Talking: He tries this on Sally after he tricks her into betraying Jeff and the Proxies.
- Bring Him to Me: Malitch commands his underlings to bring the captured Ms. P, BEN, and Sally to him after being informed of their capture.
- Brought Down to Badass: Ms. P manages to separate him from his magical staff, believing his magic to come from it. Malitch only smiles and defeats Ms. P with his mind powers, still possessing excellent fighting skills, a devious wit, and a natural ability for absorbing other's powers.
- The Bus Came Back: He returns rather unexpectedly in "Legends of the Multiverse" to assist the Proxies on their mission. He also returns in the Grand Finale, serving as the main antagonist.
- Canon Foreigner
- Card-Carrying Villain: Very proud of his villainy. He takes the name "Malitch the Destroyer" with pride.
- Child Prodigy: Invented his magical staff when he was a teenager.
- Cloudcuckoolander: As an old man. He eventually snaps out of it, though.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: He has his minions brutally beat Eyeless Jack to get information on Jeff. When Eyeless Jack's Undying Loyalty proves too strong, Malitch then inflicts Electric Torture on him instead.
- Cold Ham: He's rather dramatic but aside from that, he never raises his voice. That is unless he's in a fight..
- Combat Sadomasochist: His final fight with Jeff and BEN reveal Malitch is obsessed with pain. When Jeff stabs him, he's relieved by the pain and the sight of blood gushing from his wound.
- The Comically Serious: Despite being an apathetic and serious threat, he plays off well with the more comical characters.
- Conflict Killer: When he proves to be a threat to everyone, Enderman is forced to help the Proxies battle him.
- Cool Old Guy: Malitch is hundreds of years old and still able to defeat Aton's elit.
- Cool Shades: Wears them at all times.
- Cool Starship: He lives inside a gargantuan starship that utterly dwarfs most planets.
- Creepy Monotone: Downplayed, but has a very uninterested and apathetic tone of voice most of the time. Think a grumpy co-worker who hates his job and everyone he works with.
- Dark and Troubled Past: It's implied his parents weren't exactly nice to him.
- Dark Is Evil: His Evil Plan is to cloud the universe in darkness and then rule the universe forever as a god.
- Deadpan Snarker: Lots of his dialogue is snark directed at minions and enemies alike.
- Deflector Shield: His ship comes with one that is powered by his staff.
- Disproportionate Retribution: It's implied he sicc'd his dogs on a little girl for touching his royal bathrobes.
- Distaff Counterpart: Malitch is basically a non-demonic version of Zalgo. Both are horrible bosses to even their most loyal henchmen, are very smug and condescending jerkasses to pretty much everyone, are guarded by Elite Mooks, and both are rather humorous while still being pure evil. Also, the way Malitch manipulates Sally into betraying the Proxies is similar to the way Zalgo manipulated Eyeless Jack.
- The Ditz: He waited too long for his plan to take over the multiverse and became a senile, air-headed old man.
- The Dreaded: His nickname is "Malitch the Merciless" and "Malitch, Destroyer of Universes". He is universally feared for his ways of conquering and destroying planets.
- Drunk with Power: After obtaining the power of the Umbra Crystal, Malitch turns into a masochistic, Laughing Mad loon, begging Jeff to hurt him and mocking him relentlessly when Jeff fails.
- Dull Surprise: All the time.Malitch: (Ms. P uses telekinesis the disarm Malitch of his staff, leaving him vulnerable) Aaaaah.
- Electric Torture: He does this to Eyeless Jack to get information out of him. When Eyeless Jack still refuses, Malitch suggests ramping up the volts to get him to talk faster.
- The Emperor: The ruler of the Malitch empire.
- Embarrassing First Name: It's implied by BEN that his real name is actually "Mitch".
- The Enemy Weapons Are Better: When invading planets, he steals the weapons of it's most powerful warriors and puts them in trophy rooms on his ship. His Cane Sword, the Sword of Infernus, was taken from a prince on a fiery planet.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Delightfully subverted. He loses his shit when Ms. P, BEN, Sally, and Eyeless Jack kill his royal guards, all of whom raised Malitch at birth... for about four seconds. After a few seconds of Ocular Gushers, he abruptly moves on and considers getting more royal guards. BEN is really unnerved by it. He also has been shown to be angrier at the death of his relatives than any of his machinations being foiled; however, he doesn't have affection for them, as Malitch is a complete sociopath after all.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He takes it in stride, but after seeing Sally shoot Jeff on purpose with a stun gun he retorts "and here I thought my friends were fucked up" suggesting that not even his minions would pettily attack each other.
- Eviler than Thou: Malitch sees himself as one to Zalgo. Zalgo disagrees, seeing himself as one to Malitch. The arguments are:
- Malitch doesn't even give the Lord of the Pit the nominal Villain Respect he gives Ms. P, and has no respect for Zalgo's status as a god, blandly noting that he's killed/imprisoned gods before. Malitch even throws Zalgo's Villain Team-Up offer back in his face by outright attempting to kill and overthrow Zalgo, despite all his power. When asked who was stronger between Zalgo and Malitch, Comickit has even stated that "Zalgo could only hope to be as strong as Malitch".
- Meanwhile, Zalgo is on the whole openly contemptuous of Malitch. Zalgo also points out that it doesn't matter how advanced or smart Malitch is, he can still suffer like anyone else on contact with Zalgo's magic regardless of his claims otherwise. More to the point, Zalgo openly declares that as a god, he is automatically the superior villain. When Malitch goes to kill Zalgo, Zalgo wins by absolutely doing nothing as the mere sight of Zalgo was enough to drive Malitch insane, and Zalgo doesn't even bother killing Malitch, preferring to leave him in his terrified panic for his own amusement.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: When he and Jeff come to blows a second time, he cries out "Don't you know when to give up!?" even though he's literally trying to kill the guy's friend right in front of him.
- Evil Counterpart: Malitch seems to function as an eviler one for Ms. P. Aside from the obvious gender difference, both are incredibly powerful users of black magic, enjoy donning black clothing to make themselves seem more mysterious, and are haughty and arrogant to those around them, bordering on Holier Than Thou. However, Ms. P does seem to care for her friends and is willing to protect them from any incoming threat. Malitch, on the other side of the spectrum, gives not a damn for others well-being and is willing to manipulate and murder his underlings to achieve his goals and unlike Ms. P, has no morality pets to stop him from being truly evil and outright alienates himself from potential "friends". Ms. P also tends to detach herself from others, while Malitch took it upon himself to form an empire with many henchmen at his disposal.
- Evil Genius: Malitch is incredibly smart and cunning, and will almost always find a way out of a dire situation because of his ability to be pragmatic.
- Evil Is Petty: When he slaps Ms. P, most certainly.
- Evil Makes You Ugly: Malitch was once a well-groomed man, with the physique of a Greek statue, but the mere sight of Zalgo turned him into the ghoulish husk we see today.
- Evil Mentor: He was one to Enderman for a brief amount of time.
- Evil Laugh: Malitch let's out a hearty, wheezing laughter when he realizes Jeff is not the warrior he thought him to be.
- Evil Old Folks: He claims he wanted to destroy Earth and still wants to, but he's too senile and infirm to do so. In "Legends of the Multiverse" however, he states he is planning a comeback after he rebuilds his army. Indeed he does make a comeback, and is stronger and eviler than ever. Even in his old age he severely outclasses Aton's elite and defeats Ms. P with his mind alone.
- Evil Plan: In Grand Finale, his ultimate plan is to blanket the universe in darkness using the Umbra Crystal, leaving even the most guarded planets open to an attack. Afterwards, his militia will be sent to begin conquering every planet in their path.
- Evil Sorceror: Malitch is a very powerful user of dark magic, as he was able to defeat Aton's elite and utterly embarrass Ms. P.
- Evil Versus Evil: Before the events of the comic, Zalgo and Malitch's forces were at war with each other, with Malitch himself attempting to personally kill Zalgo. It doesn't go over well.
- Failed Attempt at Drama: Does this when practicing for his speech for whenever he becomes emperor of the universe.
- Faux Affably Evil: In general, Malitch is well-spoken at all times and comes across as fairly respectful when addressing his underlings and anyone else, even calling Ms. P "M'lady"; it's little more than an act, and even comes across as him twisting the knife by allowing his underlings or enemies to imagine they're safe. Even his praise is little more than a method of manipulation. This is perhaps best seen when Ms. P, Sally, and BEN arrive in his ship. He opens by casually remarking to Ms. P about how he's using Jeff as a tool to further his plans and little more, leaving it open for Ms. p to be unsure if Malitch is disparaging Ms. P or both Jeff and Ms. P herself. He then switches to a place of concern, asking how her "kids", referring to BEN and Sally, are doing. From there, things escalate. He approaches slowly, speaking softly of their potential and how Slenderman selected only the best, describing them as "truly special". Then he calls them children who don't know their true power and essentially saying that despite everything they sacrificed to get where they are, Malitch's belief in him was mistaken. Soon enough he's screaming that the three for not advancing their powers and abilities and instead lay on couches eating chips, before zapping them with lightning. Malitch then notes in a devastating tone of not rage, but disappointment, even regret, and sadness that they must be killed for their incompetence before siccing his most powerful guards on them. Malitch knows how to give someone a serious talking-to.
- Feel No Pain: Implied when Sally stabs him in the shoulder, he chuckles lightly and isn't fazed in the slightest.
- Final Boss: He's the final antagonist the Proxies and their allies face in the series.
- Flipping the Bird: It's very subtle, but when Malitch lights a cigar when the Proxies visit his cottage, he uses his middle finger when opening his lighter, subtly flipping off Jeff.
- For the Evulz: He has no Freudian Excuse and seems to commit villainy for the sheer pleasure of it; he's not in the least upset by the potential loss of his most powerful warship, he's far too overjoyed by having people worth tormenting. He knew he could have used an invisibility spell to sneak past Aton's elite and steal the "Crystal Of Umbra", but still fought the Elite just for fun.
- Malitch could just kill Ms. P, BEN, and Sally and by doing so ensure Jeff's loss, but he decides to go the extra mile by taunting them with the knowledge of his intention of them witnessing Jeff's torture and death, and then keeping them imprisoned for centuries, until he will eventually release them- by that point they will be mentally insane due to all the torture.
- Freudian Excuse: Completely and deliberately averted. It's implied that his parents used to beat him, but if it did lead to his villainy we never get even a hint of it and his motivation to make others suffer is mainly just for fun. Before his death, it's revealed that he's somewhat lonely, but his loneliness isn't the reason why he's evil, it's just the reason why he goes about being evil by acting like a neighborhood bully from hell.
- The Gadfly: He really loves pushing other people's berserk buttonns.
- Galactic Conquerer: He invades planets and enslaves their civilizations and then either destroys or sells the planet. He's been doing this for hundreds of years.
- Genocide from the Inside: The very first planet he ever destroyed was his own.
- A Glass of Chianti: He casually sips on wine as his henchmen slaughter a planet's civilizations.
- Go Mad from the Revelation: It was revealed that sometime before the events of the comic, Malitch invaded Zalgo's home and tried to kill him, only to be stopped in his tracks by sheer terror and going completely senile and crazy at the mere sight of Zalgo. Precisely why Zalgo never revealed Malitch's madness or even retaliate and try to kill him in return, though he might have simply found it more amusing to leave Malitch in his confused terror.
- Ground-Shattering Landing: Sends Aton's elite flying with a groundbreaking shockwave attack.
- Hate Sink. Kind of. What's been established about Malitch in the Grand Finale makes him far worse than before. He is a sadistic, sociopathic, cruel monster who wants nothing more than to cause suffering, misery and destruction where ever possible with no care for the consequences. Everything in the Grand Finale firmly pushes him into this territory, especially the fact that he tortures BEN with water, is more than willing to kill Sally, and manages to kill Jeff, the hero.
- Hates Being Alone: Before Ms. P, BEN, and Sally's execution, Malitch realizes that since the three have been in Malitch's throne room, he's never realized how lonely he is, even if all he's done to them is torture them.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: Ms. P uses Malitch's nearby cane sword to bisect him while he was distracted.
- Healing Factor: Boasts this ability during his fights. He gets cut across his arms, face, and shoulders during his fight with Jeff and not only doesn't even react to them, but said cuts are gone in seconds.
- Heel–Face Turn: After losing his memory to Zalgo, Malitch becomes a nature-loving old man who lives in a swamp.
- Face–Heel Turn: Once he gets his memory once Zalgo is killed, he goes back to a life of villainy.
- Hero Killer: Malitch manages to kill Jeff in the Grand Finale, although it should be mentioned that he wasn't trying to.
- Hey, You!: Malitch never calls any of the Proxies by their names. Usually only calling them "boy" or "girl".
- Hidden Villain: Isn't revealed as a villain in the Grand Finale's arc until more than 6 episodes in.
- High-Pressure Blood: He probably had the goriest death of any villain in the show.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Had it not been for his cane sword, Ms. P most likely wouldn't have been able to defend herself from him.
- Immune to Mind Control: As Ms. P discovers the hard way.
- Implacable Man: He's an absolutely relentless foe capable of easily fighting Ms.P and Jeff (who both also qualiy for this trope to a certain extant) and tanking all of his mightiest strikes. Keep in mind, Ms. P's magical attacks wiped out an entire platoon of Zalgo's soldiers and even held Zalgo himself back for a few seconds, and Malitch survived this. As if that wasn't enough, he heals himself during the final battle and can even survive being crushed by a gigantic statue of himself. Getting magically blasted back by Slenderman is the only thing that takes him out of the fight for a significant amount of time.
- Insistent Terminology: He repeatedly calls BEN "boy" to mock him and to remind him who's in charge.
- Insufferable Genius: He is very intelligent and pragmatic, and always makes sure to remind others about it.
- In a Single Bound: He can leap very high and very far.
- I Shall Taunt You: [[spoiler:
- I Was Quite a Looker: Malitch used to be healthy looking in his youth before the mere sight of Zalgo destroyed what sanity and good looks he had left.
- Jerkass: Extremely. Even ignoring the fact he's an all-powerful emperor, he's a smug jerk who treats everyone around him like a child simply to piss them off.
- Karma Houdini Warranty: After evading capture or death for years, Malitch is killed by Ms. P in the finale with little fanfare.
- Keystone Army: After he is killed, his army is defeated pretty damn fast. Justified, as Malitch never even gave his army proper training (he is a believer in learning on the job)
- Kick the Dog: He loves doing this. Mocking Ms. P about her Parental Abandonment, nearly executing Sally in front of BEN, trying to drown BEN again... It becomes literal when he considers skinning Smile Dog and turning his hide into a rug. He also plans to let Ms. P, BEN, and Sally free only once they are driven mentally mad from all the torture he plans to inflict on them, but also to have Jeff tortured and killed in front of their eyes before laughing in their faces.
- Lack of Empathy: Feels zero remorse for becoming a tyrannical dictator, and ordering the destruction of many planets. There is no one of any age or background that Malitch will not massacre or enslave to do his bidding.
- Even as an old man he still laughs when he finds out Eyeless Jack died, showing that becoming senile and crazy still hasn't dulled the evil out of him.
- Laser-Guided Karma: After trying to blanket the universe in darkness (which likely would have destroyed a lot of sapient life) and talking a big game about how unstoppable he is, when he's finally defeated he ends up completely humiliated when Jeff tricks him into ruining his own plan and Ms. P kills him with his own cane sword and the Proxies undo what damage he did to the universe.
- Laughably Evil: His dry sense of humor is pretty enjoyable to listen to.
- Laughing Mad: After gaining the power of the Umbra crystal, Malitch's stoic personality and sense of reason drowns in an abyss of him being Drunk with Power and he starts laughing in mixed bliss and joy like a madman as the fight rages on.
- Lazy Bum: After retiring, he doesn't do much outside of laying in the sun and drinking tree sap.
- Of course, this is averted when he finally makes his comeback.
- Lightning Bruiser: Whenever he fights, Malitch moves so incredibly fast it looks like he's teleporting.
- Lean and Mean: He is very thin.
- Magic Staff: His main weapon. Ms. P believes it to be his source of power. When she steals it from him, she learns this is most certainly not the case.
- Married to the Job: Slaughtering and oppressing people is the only thing he shows interest in
- Meaningful Name: His name sounds dangerously close to the word "Malice".
- Morph Weapon: His hands and staff to turn into anything he desires.
- Near-Villain Victory: In the Grand Finale, he had already blanketed the universe in darkness and was ready to send his henchmen into the fray to begin universal conquering. However, Jeff tricked him into blowing up the Umbra Crystal, which led to his defeat.
- Nerves of Steel: He's apathetic to nearly all of his opponents, whether they be a Physical God, a Lady of Black Magic, or a Serial Killer, considering himself superior to all of them. Considering he's annihilated trillions of civilizations and apparently killed gods before, he's not bluffing.
- No-Sell: Walks off Ms. P's magical blasts with ease, which is notable because Ms. P's magical attacks were able to hold down Zalgo for a brief moment. Additionally, Ms. P's Mind Control doesn't work on him. Later, he laughs when Sally stabs him in the shoulder and shrugs off Jeff's punches, crushed by a statue, and BEN's arrows like they were nothing.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Appears to be a somewhat goofy, lazy, and apathetic Deadpan Snarker. In reality, this pathetic excuse of a man has slaughtered millions of innocents to further his power.
- Not So Invincible After All: Malitch's great power certainly gives off the impression that he's virtually untouchable. Even Malitch himself, of course, believes that he cannot be beaten. Ms. P proves him wrong with a little distraction and Malitch's cane sword.
- Not So Stoic: His cold, emotionless facade will sometimes crack; he can't keep a smug smile off his face as he torments Ms. P, Sally, and BEN, and he'll occasionally express annoyance and anger. He also almost laughs when he sends Ms. P's own magical blast back at her.
- Omniscient Morality Licence: Apparently, being a genius gives you ground to do whatever you want.
- One-Man Army: He regularly slaughters armies as a hobby. In the Grand Finale, he managed to fight a pretty quick victory against Aton's Elite. Later on, he battle Ms. P (a One-Woman Army herself) and still wins.
- Perpetual Frowner: There is rarely a scene where he ever cracks a smile.
- Person of Mass Destruction: Can destroy a planet with the snap of a finger. He also razes entire kingdoms on his own.
- Powers Do the Fighting: He is damn near untouchable in battle mainly because of his telekinesis. In their brief fight, he defeats Ms. P with his mind alone.
- Psychopathic Man Child: He balances a genius-level talent for inventing magical attacks with an incredibly childish personality; he's immature, rude, petulant, irresponsible, prone to mood swings, obsessed with gadgets and 'toys', and spiteful.
- Purple Is Powerful: Most of his magic has a purple aura. He also wears a purple silk bathrobe to Ms. P, Eyeless Jack, BEN, and Sally's execution. It's also the attire he dies in.
- Rasputian Death: Jeff and BEN repeatedly beat, stab and slash him to a pulp, pump him full of arrows, and then Slenderman blasts him away, and even after that he still gets up and tries to kill BEN and Sally for vengeance, only stopping when Jeff takes the blast while at the same time tricking Malitch into destroying the Umbra Crystal. When he's busy crying over the crystal's destruction, Ms. P bisects him with his own sword.
- Red Herring: He is made out to be the main antagonist of "The Chain Mail" until it's revealed he is nothing but a ditzy old man living in a swamp. However, The prophecy still needed a person to cast the world into darkness, so Malitch personally sought out someone ambitious enough for the task. That person was Enderman.
- Retired Badass: At least until he comes out of retirement.
- Ring of Power: Malitch has many rings on his hands, including one encrusted from the flames of the Pit.
- Sadist: Malitch is sadistic, as he enjoys tormenting his enemies on a physical and emotional level. He did this to Ms. P by threatening Smile and Jeff with torture, and the same to BEN when he plays with his mind and his soul.
- Sanity Slippage: After his attempted murder of Zalgo, Malitch was never the same.
- Sarcasm-Blind: Shown to be this when talking to BEN.
- Shadow Archetype: Like Ms. P, they are both determined users of black magic and act haughty and arrogant around others. The difference is that Malitch appears to represent what Ms. P could be if she gave up Proxyism and left her friends.
- Slouch of Villainy: Malitch does this often when sitting in his throne, almost never sitting up.
- Smug Smiler: Does the entire time Ms. P, BEN, and Sally are held captive in his ship. All Malitch can do is smile smugly as he basically tortures the trio.
- Smug Super: Malitch's supreme confidence is born from his truly immense power. Both of his defeats doesn't come from overestimating his own power level nor from underestimating that of others, but from his overconfidence allowing him to be caught so utterly off-guard that it doesn't matter.
- The Sociopath: He's a merciless and callous tyrant who is perfectly fine with subjugating and causing the deaths of billions. He also is very narcissistic, claiming himself to be unbeatable, as well as the fact that all of the statues and paintings in his throne room are self-portraits.
- Soft-Spoken Sadist: For the most part he's very calm and almost bored for such a sadistic tyrant.
- Spiteful Spit: When saying his fare-wells to Ms. P, BEN, and Sally before their execution, Malitch has no words for BEN (who he grew to dislike the most out of the three). He simply kneeled down to BEN's height... And spits in his face.
- The Stoic: He almost never emotes. Even with a sword piercing him he only reacts with a slightly angry (and rather disappointing) look.
- Super-Strength: He strong enough to beat Jeff down with his bare hands; he sends grown monsters flying like rag dolls and tears a piece of stone bigger than himself from the Elite's temple stairway to hurl it at Hera.
- Terms of Endangerment: He called Ms. P a "pretty princess" to mock her.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Malitch in "The Chain Mail" three-parter is portrayed as a gradually softening elder whose villainy largely deteriorated due to old age. In "Legends of the Multiverse", he's openly hilariously evil, actively denies any possible mitigating factors from his upbringing, and many of his cruel acts are done with joyful sadism. There are indications that he's slowly mellowing out as he grows increasingly old and his inability to rebuild his empire. Emphasis on the "slowly" there, though. Goes from a mere jerk to a full-blown villain in the "Jeff and the Darkness" arc.
- Undignified Death: Malitch is killed when Ms. P (the woman he merely toyed with scenes ago) bisects him with his own cane sword, the Fire Sword of Infernus, while Malitch is distracted by Jeff's sacrifice. In most cases, this would be played as epic, but it's not so epic when it has his body catching on fire, his hair burning off, his organs laying all over the floor, his lower half spewing a fountain of blood, and his face melting as the flames engulf him, and the fact that no epic music plays during the scene. It doesn't help that he dies in his purple bathrobe rather than his dark, intimidating cloak.
- Villain Song: A warped version of "What A Wonderful World"Malitch:"I see dying trees, flesh that rots, death and disease, crispily fried scots. And I think to myself. What a wonderful world. I see turds that float. Poisonous gas. Bodies that float. They smell like...ass. And I think to myself.... What a wonderful world. Don't even beg for mercy. I'll just pretend I'm deaf. And strangling a kitty. Is always O.K. I'll send planets ablaze. And their people too. Each scream is pain. Begging for death. I see babies smile... It makes me SICK! And when I'm sick... People DIE! And I think to myself... What a wonderful world. And I think to myself.. What a wonderful word." (rather depressingly) You're a great crowd. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
- Villain Respect: He acknowledges Ms. P's skills in dark magic, claiming she is a gifted witch... Just not on his level.
- Villainous Friendship: He claims to have been a close friend of Zalgo. Turns out it was just a ploy to topple Zalgo and rule the universe. Unfortunately for Malitch, Zalgo was prepared.
- Walking Spoiler: It's very hard to discuss him without spoiling him being nothing but a senile old man... Or his involvement in the Grand Finale.
- We Have Reserves: During the climax of the Grand Finale, Malitch orders the General the ships most powerful cannon at Jeff's spaceship. Knowing that the other soldiers will get caught in the crossfire, the General refuses. Malitch kills him and then fires the blast himself.
- When He Smiles: He smiles very rarely but when he does it's very sincere and usually indicates someone he doesn't like is about to die.
- Worthy Opponent: Subverted. He's actually pretty disappointed by how inexperienced Ms. P is and how little of a threat she has posed to him.Malitch: You have failed in every effort to oppose me. You are not exceptional. Merely an ordinary example of a primitive species.
- Later, however, he discovers Jeff is the Proxies' champion and sets his sights on fighting him.
- Would Hit a Girl: Has zero problem brutally attacking Ms. P.
- Would Hurt a Child: When Sally stabs him with a knife. He just giggles, takes the knife and stabs Sally back, in the shoulder. He later tries to kill BEN and Sally together for getting involved in what was supposed to be a showdown between Malitch and Jeff.
Malitch's General
Malitch's General
Emperor Malitch's oldest (and probably only) friend and most loyal servant. He is the commander of the Malitch army.- Authority Equals Asskicking: He is pretty handy with a firearm.
- Character Death: He is killed when Malitch blasts him into ashes.
- Conspicuous Gloves: Wears black leather gloves.
- Disc-One Final Boss: He starts off as the main antagonist, as Jeff fully believes he's responsible for the darkness. Turns out he's only a smaller part of something bigger.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He refuses to fire at the Proxies while knowing his own men would be caught in the crossfire. Malitch kills him for it.
- Evil Wears Black
- Eyepatch of Power: He wears an eyepatch for an unknown reason.
- A Father to His Men: He refuses to launch a superlaser at Jeff's ship knowing his men would be caught in the blast. Malitch kills him for it.
- Handicapped Badass: He wears an eyepatch, implying he has lost an eye in the past. He can still shoot pretty well without it.
- Kick the Dog: He's not above holding Sally at gunpoint to keep Ms. P at bay.
- No Name Given: He's only referred to as "The General".
- Noodle Incident: Why he wears an eyepatch is unknown.
- Comickit has confirmed that he received his scar from Malitch, who plucked his eyeball out of the socket as punishment for a failed mission.
- Pet the Dog: He refuses to put hundreds of his men in harm's way just to kill two targets. He gets turned into a pile of ashes for it.
- Putting on the Reich: His outfit bears resemblance to a Nazi SS officer.
- Would Hit a Girl: Shoots at Ms. P multiple times.
- Would Hurt a Child: He flat-out puts a gun to Sally's head just to keep Ms. P from killing him.
Malitch's Royal Guard
Malitch's Royal Guard
Malitch's statue-like coven of bodyguards, clad in stone-grey armor and grey skin used to camouflage themselves as statues. Always by their master's side and fanatically loyal, the astounding combat skills resulting from Malitch's training made them fearsome warriors that were more than a match for Slenderman's strongest Proxies- Alien Blood: Their blood is visibly black.
- Anti-Magic: The giant horned guard possess a magic force field and proves to be the biggest challenge to Ms. P and BEN.
- Badass Normal: There was no indication whatsoever that any of them are skilled in magic during their on-screen battle with Ms. P and BEN; and yet their formidable skills pushed both Ms. P and BEN to the apex of their mettle and resourcefulness just to survive, much less defeat them.
- Bodyguarding a Badass: They are the guards of Malitch; a powerful wizard who can defeat Aton's Elite and destroy a planet.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Part of the training they receive is psychological molding done by cruel overseers; they start to see Malitch as a benevolent emperor.
- Character Death: The first guard is killed when Ms. P sends a spear into his chest. The third is killed when BEN uses telekinesis to crush him with a rock. The forth wielding an ax is killed when Ms. P decapitates him with his own weapon. The fifth is killed when Ms. P uses a combustion spell to kill him. The sixth via implement; and the final horned guard is killed when BEN shoves a pole in his eye.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: Their senses and reflexes are extraordinarily honed, and their strength and speeds are ludicrous if given the first strike opportunity. Even Ms. P and BEN can only barely keep up with them when they're engaging them all at once, and apparently, they're able to pierce and run through rocks.
- Combat Pragmatist: They have no problem ganging up on smaller opponents with little combat training to win a fight.
- Conservation of Ninjutsu: They noticeably become more deadly the more members they lose. Sure enough, the rhino-like dual-wielding guard who ends up facing BEN alone for most of the fight is more than a match of the strong, but inexperienced Magic user; in contrast, Ms. P manages herself just fine against three opponents.
- Defeat Equals Explosion: One of the guards is killed when Ms. P blows him up with a combustion spell, sending him in Ludicrous Gibs.
- Determinator: Failure is not an option. They will defend Malitch or die trying.
- Evil Is Bigger: They utterly dwarf Ms. P, BEN, and Sally in their fight, giving themselves a huge size advantage.
- Eye Scream: The giant horned guard is killed when BEN shoves a pole in his eye, penetrating his brain.
- Forgotten Fallen Friend: They raised Malitch from birth. Malitch himself merely glances over their deaths and muses over the idea of getting new guards.
- Ground Punch: One of the guards uses this to send BEN flying back.
- Healing Factor: One of the guards possesses one. Ms. P is able to nullify it and then kill him.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: One of the guards is killed when Ms. P sends a spear into his heart.
- The Juggernaut: They are impervious to nearly all techniques.
- The Leader: While the group doesn't seem to have a designated leader, the giant horned guard is the biggest and strongest out of all of them and can be seen non-verbally giving the others orders.
- Living Statue: They are posed in Malitch's throne room standing completely still, their grey armor make them look like statues to deceive any enemies.
- Ludicrous Gibs: Ms. P kills a guard by blowing him up with a spell, sending his body parts flying like confetti.
- Mighty Glacier: They are about 11 feet tall and wear heavy armor, making them rather slow in combat.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: In contrast to Malitch's entire army, the guards are lethally competent warriors. They are systematic, thorough, well-trained, and utterly relentless. They do not fool around when given orders. They are not afraid to kill anyone, including Slenderman's proxies, children, and even their fellow guards. At no point do they stop to banter, gloat, or snark, they use the terrain to their advantage and constantly overwhelm their enemies with blitz-style attacks that force BEN and Ms. P on the defensive for most of the episode, they immediately disarm them of any weapons they are using, they don't panic when they begin losing teammates and even pretend to die to lure thier enemies into a false sense of security until one of them attacks the enemy and alerts the others to thier location, and they utilize every tactic at their disposal. They have been trained from birth to follow everything Malitch says and they won't stop until he's dead or they are.
- Parental Substitute: They apparently raised Malitch from birth, at least better than his parents did.
- Power at a Price: Their armor leaves gives them incredible strength and durability. That being said, it also makes them slow and deliberate in a fight, making it relatively easy for opponents to dodge their attacks.
- Praetorian Guard: They are Malitch's personal guard.
- Pragmatic Villainy: When Ms. P wounds one of them with a lethal blast of magic, the guard decide to simply play dead to trick Ms. P and lure her into a false sense of security rather than get back up and be killed.
- Rhino Rampage: One of the guards bares resemblance to a rhino.
- Rule of Seven: There are seven of them in all.
- Silent Antagonist: None of them utter a word or make or noise even when they die.
- The Stoic: They never emote even when they die.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: The guards are essentially humanoid versions of Zalgo's Inquisitors; being a group of highly trained, lethally competent warriors who are ordered to kill anyone their demeaning master series (and almost succeed at it).
- Undying Loyalty: They only live to serve Malitch and never think beyond that goal.
- Walking Spoiler: Their involvement in the "Jeff and the Darkness" arc is tied to Malitch.
- We Have Reserves: After they are killed, Malitch simply claims he can get other guards. He even goes as far as to say they deserve to die for failing to keep him safe.
- Would Hit a Girl / Would Hurt a Child: They have no issue with trying to kill a woman and two hopelessly outclassed children on behalf of a bloodthirsty galactic tyrant.
Malitch's henchmen
Elite soldiers of the Malitch Empire.
- Attack! Attack! Attack!: They are never trained at any point (Malitch believes in learning on the job), so this is their basic attack style.
- Fallen Hero: It's implied that some of them were brave warriors from different planets across the galaxy before Malitch came along and destroyed their planets and forced them into his army (if he didn't just kill them).
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Parodied when Jeff is directly in front of them and they still can't hit Jeff at point-blank range.
- Keystone Army: They are defeated pretty quickly when their emperor is killed.
- Laughably Evil: They are incredibly incompetent.
- Red Shirt Army
