Characters / Not Another Teen Movie

Main Teens

Janey Briggs

Portrayed By: Chyler Leigh

The unattractive (at first) main protagonist.

• Beautiful All Along: Parodied in her "transformation" scene. She looks beautiful without glasses and ponytail!
• Butt-Monkey: On top of being poor, she takes a lot of physical punishment. She falls through a flight of stairs and gets tased by the police.
• Caught with Your Pants Down: Parodied: Janey tries to have some "alone time" with a dildo on her eighteenth birthday, when her parents, grandparents, siblings, family pets, pastor, and the girl scout troop she mentors enter in quick succession.
• Covered in Gunge: This happens to Janey and everyone else in the opening scene, as the result of a catastrophic encounter between her vibrator and her birthday cake. It happens again with the scene with the Dainty Girl on the toilet.
• Floorboard Failure: Janey's slow-motion entrance down the stairs of her home is somewhat undermined by this, compounded by the stair carpet, landing table, stair rods and sundry stairs and other bits of the house falling on top of her.
• Glasses-and-Ponytail Coverup: Parodied, obviously, with Janey Briggs being the most unattractive girl ever for having glasses and a ponytail, with everyone reacting appalled. When her date's sister pseudo-erotically removes them, everyone reacts as if she has become the most attractive girl in the world, and asking who she is at prom.
• The Glasses Gotta Go: This plus taking her hair out of a ponytail is all Janey needs to be revealed as Beautiful All Along.
• Hollywood Homely: Parodied In-Universe. Jake, the popular jock, has to make Janey beautiful because... you know, she's hideous! Just look at the glasses! And her ponytail! And the paint-covered overalls! And this in comparison to an albino hippy, a hunchback, and conjoined twins.
• Informed Ability: Parodied. Janey's "artistic talent" is essentially just drawing kindergarten-level stick figures. It's a bit strange how she draws them with wild, violent Jackson Pollock-like techniques, though.
• Informed Flaw: Janey's case of Hollywood Homely.
• Intimate Artistry: Parodied. Janey's character is a parody of the rebel/angry artist character type who expresses her feelings through her painting. However, despite other characters talking about how good her work is, she is only ever shown producing childlike stick-figure paintings. In one scene, where she is actively shown painting in an energetic, angry style (Throwing paint at the canvas and overcome with emotion), the final result is again just a kindergarten-level drawing.
• Missing Mom: Janey's mom died of cancer when she was young. After this she had to step up and do things her mom formerly did, including breastfeed her little brother.
• Oblivious to Love: Ricky has no problem with Cannot Spit It Out - he writes a 10 Things I Hate About You-esque poem (entitled "Ten Things I Love About Janey Briggs") flat-out confessing his love for Janey and reads it aloud in class, while other students are heard groaning, "Not again." She still doesn't pick up on it.
• Tomboyish Ponytail: Spoofed over how it was supposed to make her unattractive.

Jake Wyler

Portrayed by: Chris Evans

The popular jock.

• Even the Guys Want Him: During the scene where girls are throwing their underwear at him, one guy gives him his jockstrap.
• Follow in My Footsteps: To the point that his father just asks him to give Princeton 4 years, before bringing in the perfect rebound girl for Jake - his mother.
• Lovable Jock: While Jake is certainly the Big Man on Campus, he's really not a bad guy. Spoofed however when he tries to be the "sensitive guy" by protecting his Love Interest's little brother from being bullied, only to receive an accidental punch to the face in return. Jake kicks the shit out of him in response.

• Only Sane Man: Considering that Catherine wants to sleep with him, and his dad wanted his wife to sleep with him to really make sure Jake would Follow in My Footsteps, Jake is the only person who sees this as beyond messed up.
• The Quarterback: Jake being a fulfilling parody of this character should really be expected.

• Would Hit a Girl: Slugs Priscilla for embarrassing Janey at Preston's party, amidst a slew of And This Is for... blows.

Austin

Portrayed By: Eric Christian Olsen

The cocky blonde guy.

• Big Bad: He sets up all the drama between Janey and Jake

Catherine Wyler

Portrayed by: Mia Kirshner

Jake's sister and a cruel, sex-crazed brunette girl.

• Brother–Sister Incest: Wants to have sex with her own brother, mostly because she's had pretty much everyone else already.
• Depraved Bisexual: Ranging from May–December Romance to Brother–Sister Incest. She's implied to have slept with everyone in school, is willing to sleep with any hot stranger she hasn't slept with yet, attempts to seduce her own brother and his love interest Janey and then french kisses a woman old enough to be her grandmother.
• Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: She sexually harasses her brother on a regular basis in her bid to sleep with him, much to his obvious horror.
• Expy: She's basically a combination of Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel Intentions and Mackenzie Siler from She's All That.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: Subverted in the scene where Catherine frenches an old woman, which is made repulsive. Also subverted in Janey's "transformation", when Catherine looks about to kiss her, then about to go down on her.
• Really Gets Around:
  • Despite wanting to have sex with her brother, Catherine had sex with nearly every guy (and girl) she takes an interest in, sometimes even repeating.
  • Which is probably a big factor as to why she wants to have sex with Jake - because who else is left?
• Single Woman Seeks Good Man: After losing her chance at Jake, she confides in Ox that she wishes she could meet a nice, sensitive guy who's interested in more than just sex. She wants a guy who'll take her out to dinner, and would then take a dump on her chest for once.
• The Thing That Would Not Leave: Catherine repeatedly shows up at school trying to seduce Jake, despite it being pointed out she apparently graduated a few years ago.

Ricky Lipman

Portrayed by: Eric Jungmann

The obsessed best friend.

• Butt-Monkey: Poor, sweet Ricky. He tells Janey that he's in love with her to her face, only for her to completely ignore him. Ends up broken and battered trying to beat the Big Man on Campus to the Airport, as he gets hit by a couple dozen cars. Ends up starting the Slow Clap... which gets him beaten up again.
• The Chew Toy: The final Race for Your Love against Jake has Jake encounter smooth sailing, while Ricky encounters a locked door at the start, almost get run over by a half-dozen cars (whose drivers all shout variations on "She doesn't love you!"), then gets run over by a passing bicycle, narrowly avoids different bikes at Janey's house before getting embedded in a bus' front grill, and upon arriving at the airport, tries to give a romantic speech... only to be curtly informed that Jake had used the same line to get through, and no one was falling for it again.
• Dogged Nice Guy: As dogged as it gets.
• Just Friends: Janey doesn't even bother to tell Ricky she just likes him as a friend, as she's Oblivious to Love.
• No Sympathy: Aside from the above, a random woman at the airport chastises him for bleeding on her suitcase.

Mitch Briggs

Portrayed by: Cody McMains

The desperate virgin.

Priscilla

Portrayed by: Jaime Pressly

The nasty cheerleader.

• Blatant Lies: Priscilla denies it when she is accused of stealing the cheers of the all-black North Compton Wildcats squad, why do I have to mention they are an all-black squad? Because the cheer lyrics not only mention they are the North Compton Wildcats but that they "Definitely ain't white." Which is unusual for an all Caucasian cheer squad to be singing.
• Contrived Clumsiness: Parodied. Janey is already wet from jumping into the pool when Priscilla, sarcastically feigning clumsiness, spills a bottle of WATER on her. Janey reacts with humiliated tears.
  Random Party-Goer: That's gonna stain!
• Cruel Cheerleader: She's the head cheerleader and admittedly runs her squad like it's her dictatorship. She uses the popularity she gets from her position to throw her weight around and is antagonistic to the heroine Janey.
• Smurfing: The Alpha Bitch wants you to remember the following.
  Priscilla: Let's get one thing straight - this is not a cheer-ocracy. I am the cheer-tator, I make the cheer-cisions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences.

Supporting Teens

Malik

Portrayed by: Deon Richmond

The Token Black Guy.

• Catchphrase: He lampshades this: "I'm just supposed to smile, and stay out of the conversation, and say things like 'Damn!', 'Shit!' and 'That is whack!'" Later, there is this brilliant exchange:
  Token Black Guy: *clears throat*
  Other Black Guy: what?
  TBG: I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party.
  OBG: Damn!
  TBG: Yeah...
  OBG: Shit!
  TBG: I know—
  Both: It's whack!
  OBG: *leaves*
• Sophisticated as Hell: He delivered a very deep and insightful speech to Jake near the end. When Jake pauses to thank him, then dashes out abruptly before he can reply, he says only one word: "Motherfucker".
• Token Minority: Save for one brief moment where another black guy appears.

Reggie Ray

Portrayed by: Ron Lester

The stupid fat football who is prone to getting frequent concussions.

Ox

Portrayed by: Sam Huntington

The sensitive virgin.

• My Girl Is a Slut: His response to Catherine's impassioned plea for a guy to take a dump on her chest for once is to be mortified that none had.

Bruce

Portrayed by: Samm Levine

The Asian wannabe.

• N-Word Privileges: He calls some Asian guys "chinks". One of them kicks him in the chin for that.
• Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Only instead of trying to be black, he's trying to be Asian.

Amanda Becker

Portrayed by: Lacey Chabert

The perfect girl.

• Big Entrance: Lampshaded at the party, as everyone freezes as she walks in - and the tour guide from the start shushes another guy and quietly explains that they can't talk until she starts moving again.
  Random Woman: She took forever this time!
• Satellite Love Interest: Exists purely for Mitch to fawn over.

Areola

Portrayed by: Cerina Vincent.

The foreign exchange student.

• Disney Creatures of the Farce: During the "Prom Tonight" sequence, a nude Areola sings out her window while Disney-style cartoon birds appear and sing with her.
• Europeans Are Kinky: Parodied with her being constantly nude.
• Foreign Exchange Student: Came from somewhere in Europe.
• Foreign Fanservice: Always naked. Lampshaded, of course.
  "I am here to be object of lust for poor nerds who can't get American pussy!"
• Fun with Subtitles: Whenever Areola is naked and speaking, the subtitles avoid covering her 'assets'.
• Funny Foreigner: Her accent changes every line and she dodges the question of what country she's from in a deleted scene.
• Just a Stupid Accent: Areola's accent changes between scenes, and in one scene she even randomly switches from an Indian to a British accent without missing a beat.
• Meaningful Name: "Areola" is the name for the area of skin surrounding the nipples, and she is always seen naked.
• Naked People Are Funny: Made funnier in that Cerina Vincent used to play a Ms. Fanservice on Power Rangers Lost Galaxy just two years prior.
• No Dress Code: Exaggerated; she always shows up to school naked and nobody seems to bat an eye.
• Non-Specifically Foreign: "European" is about as close as you're gonna get (and even then, she does an Indian accent and Asian Speekee Engrish later in the film). While saying "grazie" when Janey complimented her backpack might lead you to think she's Italian, her accent changes with every scene.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Outside of her introduction, and the other naked girl at the party who complains that she copied her outfit, no one makes any comments about her walking around in the buff.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?: Played for laughs. Areola's accent changes throughout the movie.

Kara & Sara Fratelli

Portrayed by: Samaire Armstrong and Nectar Rose

Conjoined twin sisters and also the prom queens.

Les

Portrayed by: Riley Smith

The beautiful weirdo.

The Tour Guide

Portrayed by: Josh Radnor

The exposition guy.

Preston Wasserstein

Portrayed by: Rob Benedict

The guy who throws the Wild Teen Party.

• A Party, Also Known as an Orgy: Blatantly tells his parents that he's going to bring hookers into their house.

Adults

Mr. Briggs

Portrayed by: Randy Quaid

Janey and Mitch's dad.

• The Alcoholic: His defining character trait.
• Brutal Honesty: He admits that he'll be too drunk to pick his kids up from school - not because he'll be too drunk to drive, but because he'll be too shitfaced to remember while driving.
• Hypocritical Heartwarming: He expresses surprising tenderness towards his kids, especially Janey, but his alcoholism always makes his advice... a bit skewed.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran: Towards the end of the film he starts having flashbacks of Vietnam.

Coach

Portrayed by: Ed Lauter

The goddammed coach, goddammit!

• Sir Swears-a-Lot: Albeit in a PG-13 fashion.
• Verbal Tic: Saying goddammit repeatedly.

Sadie Agatha Johnson

Portrayed by: Beverly Polcyn

The undercover reporter.

The Wise Janitor

Portrayed by: Mr. T

The wise janitor.

• Ambiguously Gay: He'd been watching Jake for a long time, including in the locker room showers whipping other guys with a towel.
• Leitmotif: The theme to The A-Team.
• Magical Negro: Played by Mr. T. Naturally.
• Meaningful Background Event: The wise janitor can be seen in the background during some scenes in the football field before his appearance in the big football game.

Molly Ringwald

The woman herself. Currently working as a flight attendant to get by.

• Adam Westing: Plays a snarky version of herself.
• Deadpan Snarker
• Fallen-on-Hard-Times Job: She really doesn't seem to enjoy her job as a flight attendant.

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