Characters / Microsoft Sam Reads Funny Windows Errors

A page for describing the characters of Microsoft Sam Reads Funny Windows Errors

Sam

The main character of the series. He provides the voice to most errors.

• Berserk Button:
  • "Don't... touch... my... TACO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OS!"
  • He also really hates Windows Vista.
  • And EAS tones. For good reason.
  • Any signs with poor grammar, especially unintentionally sickening typos. Sam even kills the "King of Poorly Translated Restaurants" at one point after too many nauseating Engrish menus.
  • Disobey the rules for the toilet and Sam will made your life hell.
• Brain Bleach: He sometimes says he needs brain bleach when seeing disturbing imagery.
• Butt-Monkey: Things almost never go his way (Or anyone's way, for that matter.).
• Catchphrase:
  • GODDAMNITSONOFABITCHPIECEOFSHITMOTHERFUCKINGASSHOLEFUCKFUCKFUCK
  • Don't... touch... my... TACO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OS!
• Cluster F-Bomb: Drops these commonly.
• Deadpan Snarker
• Motor Mouth: Often delves into this territory.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Tacos and IWAY Cookies.
• Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Considering the other voices are annoying to him, it's no shocker.
• Villain Protagonist: Downplayed, but it's still there. After the end of the Funny Windows Errors episodes with storylines with Season 5, he became a complete and utter Jerkass, as if him laughing at Mike's troubles isn't enough evidence.

Mike

• Berserk Button: He takes heavy offense of being say that he talks like a lady.
  "I DO NOT TALK LIKE A LADY, YOU ASSHOLE."
• Butt-Monkey: And how!
• Catchphrase: "I DO NOT TALK LIKE A LADY, YOU ASSHOLE."
• Dude Talks Like A Lady: His main character trait.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: He actually sounded more like the regular Microsoft Mike in the earlier seasons.

Mary

• Smurfette Principle: The only female major TTS voice.

Radar Overseer Scotty

• Accidental Hero: Accidentally saves the CSEC Canada from eating the Retard Capsules spiked baloney sandwich in the 2023 Christmas Special.
• Book Dumb: So dumb that he only got 0.2% on his history class.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Baloney sandwiches.

Bacon

• Beware the Silly Ones: Bacon may have a mind of a bacon, but he can still be useful and badass. In fact, after Sam and his team got split into different timeline, Bacon is the one who raid the resistance to defeat The Supreme AI in the main timeline.
• Does Not Like Spam: God forgives you if you give Bacon Vegetables.
• The Friend Nobody Likes
• Large Ham
• Meaningful Name: Kris P. Bacon
• Motor Mouth
• Speak of the Devil: The mere mention of bacon will summon him.
• Trademark Favorite Food: As his moniker implies, bacon.

Gold

• Large Ham
• Meaningful Name
• Motor Mouth
• Speak of the Devil: In the same vein as Bacon, just talking about gold will summon him.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Even though it isn't a food, Gold loves gold.

Soy

• Large Ham
• Meaningful Name
• Motor Mouth
• Speak of the Devil: Anything to do with soy will summon him, just like Bacon and Gold.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Anything made with soy, especially soy sauce.

ROFL Robot

• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He really don't like Windows Vista.