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The duo
Parker Hajiaskari
"Hello LuxArmy."
One of the two protagonists of the series, usually acting as the bravest one.- Adaptational Intelligence: Shows to be much smarter in LuxuryDark, where he always points out how Chester shouldn't buy things from the Dark Web.
- Casanova Wannabe: Usually attempts to flirt with his female clients, to no avail. He's also somewhat disappointed when one client is revealed to be male.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: Every time Chester has a bad feeling and tries to warn Parker (or tries to get him to take the job seriously), Parker dismisses his warnings and trivializes the situation (especially when pretty girls are involved), which comes back to bite him when the situation gets dark and insane.
- Failure Hero: Rarely manage to solve his clients' "problems", and is mostly unable to save them from the monsters.
- Jerkass: He fully becomes one in She Thought Her Little Brother Was Dead
when he decides to abandon Milly to her fate after discovering she has a boyfriend. - The Leader: He pretty much serves as this since he's the one always willing to go to investigate and Chester pretty much always does what Parker tells him to do.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Parker clearly thinks high of himself, especially when it comes to girls.
Chester Beckington
- Adaptational Dumbass: In LuxuryDark and LuxuryLight he's the one causing troubles in the first place.
- Ambiguously Gay: The fact that he wants to share beds with Parker seems to imply he might have some sort of an attraction to him.
- Butt-Monkey: If the duo ever gets attacked, Chester likely will have the worst coming.
- Cool Shades: Unless he's sleeping, you'll never see him take them off.
- Lovable Coward: He's pretty much a fans favorite despite his cowardice, and he honestly can't be blamed that much for it.
- Only Sane Man: In Life of Luxury he always points out how he and Parker shouldn't get involved with certain things and always suggests to leave whenever he realizes something is really wrong.
- Sidekick: Can be seen as this to Parker in Life of Luxury.
- Too Dumb to Live: In LuxuryDark, where he forgoes common sense when buying things from the Dark Web and orders some pretty shady stuff that usually results in him or Parker being harmed.
The Clients
Strange Encounters
Dolphin Man
"Dolphin Man"
"For about a month now, my parents have been getting some calls from the neighbors about some screeching noise that has been coming from there."
—Bernice
The first-ever monster the duo encounter and a strange creature squatting in a family's house, whose loud screeching has gotten complaints from their neighbors.
- Bandaged Face: Dolphin Man's face is completely covered in bandages aside from his eyes and his wide mouth.
- Hell Is That Noise: Is said to emit loud screeching noises, which alerted the people living in the neighbourhood to its presence. We later learn that these noises sound oddly like that of a dolphin.
- Meaningful Name: "Dolphin Man"'s entire body is of a sickly grey color, which makes him look like a dolphin. His screams also sound like they're coming from one.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Appears in only one episode and is never seen again, but their encounter with Dolphin Man is implied to be the reason why they continued their investigations.
- Starter Villain: The first ever creature Parker and Chester encounter, which encourages them to continue their future investigations.
- Uncertain Doom: Parker says that he called the police to the house where he is squatting in, leaving Dolphin Man's ultimate fate an uncertain one.
Tommy
"Tommy"
NO!
"Little penny pocket...."
A regular person named Tommy, who after an odd trip in the woods, has turned into something else and cannot stop growing.- Body Horror: His bones have grown so long to the point that he can't fit into his clothes anymore, and his eyes looking like they are bulging out most of the time. We later find out that he has an inhumanly long tongue.
- The Bus Came Back: Returned in another episode.
- Dead All Along: Candace's sister tells the duo on Facebook that Tommy has been dead for over a year, at least according to Candace.
- Exorcist Head: Can turn his head backwards, as Parker and Chester terrifyingly learn when speaking to him.
- Humanoid Abomination: Barely resembles a person anymore.
- Matricide: Kills his mother before dragging her corpse away and into the woods. It's later implied that she is not related to him however.
- Was Once a Man: Was apparently just a normal person before his three-long day trip in the woods.
Gale
Gale
"No one."
"Me acident,, B HOM SOON. Head hurt bad"
A woman completely covered in bandages who apparently got into a car accident. She can't speak, and her default expression is that of a Slasher Smile.- Ambiguous Situation: Is Gale really Leah's sister, who has been rendered inhuman because of a car accident? Or is "Gale" some sort of monster that took the guise of the dead sister? Chester and Parker believe it to be the latter.
- Bandage Mummy: She is covered head-to-toe in bandages (ostensibly because of a car accident), which really unnerves her sister.
- Body Horror: Apart from the gruesome injuries she suffered in her car accident that left her unable to speak, Gale's jaw starts cracking at points.
- Don't Go Into the Woods: After doing something to her sister, she leads her into the woods with another unnamed entity.
- Little "No": Gives out a barely audible "no" upon being informed of her sister's plans to leave Gale alone for the night.
- Slasher Smile: Gives these out like candy, constantly smiling at her sister and the duo with a deranged look on her face.
Petey
"Be ready to PLAY FOREVER! Cause once you're here, you can never LEAVE!"
"But remember, DON'T. TELL. YOUR. PARENTS."
The owner of the eponymous playhouse, who encounters (and later traps) Chester and Parker in their search for a client's sister.- Deadly Euphemism: Refers to Conductor Charlie dying as "nap time" in one of the old VHS tapes.
- Depraved Kids' Show Host: His "playhouse" is an absolute nightmare where he keeps people hostage.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Despite his later actions, Petey views Friendo's treatment of Chester as rude, even if he was a "naughty boy".
- Evil Laugh: Yep. He randomly bursts into mad laughter whenever he finishes his sentences. Even when talking about you can never leave the playhouse.
- Faux Affably Evil: Pretends to act friendly to Parker and Chester, but later traps them in his playhouse while saying that both of them are naughty boys. Even after he tried to kill Chester, he's later seen waving him goodbye.
- Jump Scare: Does this at the end to both Chester and the viewer, attempting to pull him under the ball pit.
- Obviously Evil: Has blood splattered all over his "face", dresses like a Repulsive Ringmaster and randomly erupts into mad laughter. Seems like a nice guy.
- Repulsive Ringmaster: Is dressed like an old-timey circus ringmaster and also happens to be an Ax-Crazy maniac luring people to his dilapidated "playhouse".
Friendo
"Sorry Petey, I just wanted to say hello."
A large man dressed up as an anthropomorphic bear who serves as Petey's muscle.- The Dragon: He effectively serves as Petey's brutish right-hand man.
