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Medical Staff
Nurse Kim Wilde
- Played by: Jo Brand
- Big Eater: Eats most of Den's healthy hamper. And often the food left by the patients.
- Can't Get Away with Nuthin': Makes a comment to cheer Hilary up after the altercation with Ivy which results in him accusing her of homosexual abuse.
- Deadpan Snarker: Naturally, being played by Jo Brand.
- Loser Protagonist: With all the red tape in a job she used to enjoy (or at least bear) before leaving to raise her family, one sometimes wonders how things can get any worse for her.
- Named After Somebody Famous: She's named after the singer, Kim Wilde.
- Only Sane Woman: Remembers the old days before the endless new debilitating and restrictive NHS legislations.
Sister Denise "Den" Flixter
- Played by: Joanna Scanlan
- Auto Erotica: Performs a certain act on Hilary in the back of a taxi.
- Gender-Blender Name: Rarely goes by "Denise."
- Hypocrite: Constantly quotes regulations, but turns up on call one night drunk, dressed extremely inappropriately and in floods of tears.
- Incompatible Orientation: Zig-zags, Hilary can't seem to decide if he is straight, gay or even asexual.
- Jerkass Ball: Depending on the episode she is either snarking along with Kim, or firmly reminding her that she is Kim's supervisor and holds power over her.
- Navel-Deep Neckline: She returns from her date with Hilary with make up smeared across her face and and a dress so low cut that she is spilling our of it with her bra on prominent display.
- Prone to Tears: Her relationship with Hilary and her ex-husband often prompt her to burst into floods of tears.
Dr. Philippa "Pippa" Moore
- Played by Vicki Pepperdine
- Abhorrent Admirer: To Peter Healy.
- Ambiguously Bi: When Dr. Oxford begins to flirt with her, Pippa doesn't seem to notice, even when asked if she fancies a hot tub party. She double-takes at first when she is told she won't be needing a costume, but later on she is seen leaving the hospital with her to said hot tub.
- Broken Tears:When she is informed on the phone that her research is definitely not going to be funded, she starts to choke up.
- Hidden Depths: Speaks rather good Italian.
- Important Haircut: After her marriage breaks up.
- No Social Skills: Quite awkward when dealing with both staff and patients.
- She Cleans Up Nicely: After being called out in the middle of the night, when she is still wearing her dress and makeup from a fancy date. This is repeated after after she has separated from her husband.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Her interns don't seem the brightest bunch, and on one occasion she has to take one outside to explain that he is highly unlikely to pass his exams.
Hilary Loftus
Played by: Ricky Grover
- Ambiguously Gay: He doesn't seem sure of his sexuality, despite having a sexual relationship with Den he takes extreme offence at the use of a homosexual slur (which prompts even the hospital official to ask whether this is because he is gay or just offended by the term.) Den later takes him to a gay bar, after they agree to stay Just Friends.
- Fat Bastard: Probably the most unpleasant character in the show.
- Gender-Blender Name: His name has become more associated with females by the 21st century. Plus, despite his gender, he's still the matron of the ward, due to the nature of the British nursing system.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Whilst he often makes the situation worse (such as causing the
- No Social Skills: Cannot deal with anyone without rubbing them the wrong way having a minor breakdown.
- Rules Lawyer
Peter Healy
- Played by: Peter Capaldi
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Whilst he is admired by most of the staff, it is clear that he is incredibly self-important and would much rather be somewhere else.
-
The Danza - Hospital Hottie: The female staff compete for his time whenever he arrives at the hospital.
Helen Hughes
- Played by: Helen Griffin
- The Danza
- Not So Stoic: Her calm demeanour goes out the window whenever Peter Healy arrives. Or when Kim and Den refuse to join her strike.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Tries to manage Hilary's case against Kim with professionalism.
Josh
- Played by: Joseph Mbaka
Patients
Bengali Patient
- No Name Given
- The Unintelligible: Kim and Den spend an episode and a half trying to figure out what language she is speaking.
Ivy Coulter
- Played by: Patty Bee
- Grievous Bottley Harm: Threatens the ward staff with a broken bottle.
- Jerkass
- Mood-Swinger: Seems to recognise her Jerkass tendencies at times before immediately going back to being insulting or violent.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot
Peggy Lowe
- Played by: Hazel Douglas
- Elder Abuse: Evidence arises that suggests she is either being beaten by her care workers, or possibly her own son. Though the latter may be a result of her senility.
Pasca Vercelli
- Played by: Genny Vascotto
