Characters / Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death

Character Sheet of the Comic Relief charity skit Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death. A parody, not even remotely canon. Written by Steven Moffat, who lovingly referenced it in episodes on occasion during his run on the series itself.

The Doctor

• Failed a Spot Check: The reason he quickly ends up in his Twelfth incarnation;
  Twelfth Doctor: Oh dear, now look at that! I've gone and used up three whole bodies in under a minute and all because I forgot to unplug first, that really was terribly silly of me!
• Retcon: That time the Doctor died a few times in quick succession? It was later revealed in canon that this WOULDN'T have triggered more regenerations, as a Time Lord can heal any injuries sustained in the first few hours after regeneration.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: All except Atkinson's Doctor get very little screentime as they clumsily cycle through their regenerations rapidly.
• The World Is Always Doomed: The Doctor has saved every planet in the known universe a minimum of 27 times.

Ninth Doctor (Rowan Atkinson)

• Crazy-Prepared: The first half of the special can be summed up as him and the Master having a massive Gambit Pile Up involving them pre-emptively going back in time to bribe the architect of the building they currently stand in to their specifications.
• Deadpan Snarker: Atkinson, very much in the mould of the later Blackadders.
• Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Not quite as pretty as some of his successors below, but he definitely has a Paul McGann Doctor haircut going on and manages to form a long term relationship with his latest companion.
• Official Couple: He and his companion, Emma (Julia Sawalha) are engaged.
• Really 700 Years Old: In "Who's After Your Cash", the Ninth Doctor states that he is over 800 years old.
• Retired Badass: Intends to become one, since he's saved every planet at least 27 times by this point.
• Retirony: The story is set off when the Doctor wants to tell the Master that he's retiring to marry his companion.
• Starfish Language: He is (almost) fluent in the language of the people of Terserus. Said people communicate exclusively through farts of differing pitch.

Tenth Doctor (Richard E. Grant)

• Distracted by My Own Sexy: "Result! Cute, sexy, and lick-the-mirror-handsome!"
• Large Ham: Engages in Ham-to-Ham Combat against the Master.
• Lecherous Licking: Is so distracted by his own sexy that he licks his reflection in the mirror.
• Slip into Something More Comfortable: Mocked with the Doctor saying it just after his regeneration.
• Too Dumb to Live: Both this Doctor and his successor die in quick succession "all because I forgot to unplug first."

Eleventh Doctor (Jim Broadbent)

• Cannot Talk to Women: Humorously, the Master's etheric beam locators get the same response out of him.
• Too Dumb to Live: Both this Doctor and his predecessor die in quick succession "all because I forgot to unplug first."

Twelfth Doctor (Hugh Grant)

• Deadly Deferred Conversation: The Twelfth Doctor's last words to Emma are, "I'll explain later." This being the tail end of a Running Gag where something ridiculous happens and the Doctor goes, "I'll explain later."
• Death Equals Redemption: Of a sort. Twelve's seemingly final death inspires the Master and the Daleks to renounce their evil ways. It's all surprisingly poignant for a parody.
• Invincible Hero: Gets hit with an ultra-deadly energy wave that should kill even a Time Lord instantly, so definitely no more regenerations ever. He regenerates anyway.
• Last Request: Well, before the "I'll explain later" gag: "Look after the universe for me. I've put a lot of work into it."
  • A quote so iconic that the actual Twelfth Doctor would reuse it in the canonical series.
• Mr. Fanservice: Noted to be even sexier than Richard E. Grant's Doctor.

Thirteenth Doctor (Joanna Lumley)

• All Girls Want Bad Boys: She falls for the Master, of all people. She notes that she suddenly finds him more attractive now and the two ride off into the sunset.
• Buxom Beauty Standard: She's pretty buxom and her cleavage gets many Male Gaze shot as well as noticed by The Master.
• Genki Girl: She seems to be the most energetic and excitable Doctor in the special.
• Gender Bender: The first Time Lord sex change, but far from the last.
• Jumping the Gender Barrier: The Master is very taken with the Doctor's new form.
• Man, I Feel Like a Woman: "I've always wanted to get my hands on one of these!"
• Ms. Fanservice: Gets many gratuitous cleavage shots, before almost taking one boob out to inspect the "on-switch".
• Power Perversion Potential: Only now, after thousands of years, does the Doctor notice the Sonic Screwdriver comes with three settings.
• Situational Sexuality: The Doctor conveniently starts liking men as soon as he turns into a woman.

Emma (Julia Sawalha)

• A-Cup Angst: The Master tries to invoke this by bragging about how big and firm his "Dalek bumps" feel. Emma later seems genuinely envious of the Thirteenth Doctor's new talent.
• Distracted by the Sexy: Emma's reaction to the Hugh Grant Doctor, "Result!"
• Expy: Shares a lot of mannerisms with Third Doctor companion Jo Grant.
• Literal Metaphor: "You're just not the man I fell in love with."

The Master (Jonathan Pryce)

• Actor Allusion: Jonathan Pryce starred in an unrelated film about mental patients in the First World War three years prior to this. The name of this film? Regeneration.
• Affably Evil: The Master is surprisingly polite and understanding throughout the story, perhaps to set up the ending twist.
• Bestiality Is Depraved: Poor, poor guy.
• Big-Breast Pride: He initially takes pride in the size and firmness of his new Dalek bumps. Quickly turns to D-Cup Distress when everyone thoroughly mocks them.
• Dramatic Thunder: Somehow conjures thunder inside his TARDIS to accompany his Evil Laugh.
• Evil Laugh: Of course. Jonathan Pryce goes all out with this.
• Expy: Jonathan Pryce's Master is pretty much the Anthony Ainley version dialled up (except for his competency, which is dialled down to one).
• Hoist by His Own Petard: The Master's attempts to trap the Doctor backfire horribly on him, though not always through his own fault. His deal with the Daleks, however, is as ill-conceived as it sounds.
• Insistent Terminology: They're not breasts, they're Dalek bumps.
• Is This Thing Still On?: The Master has serious trouble with closing the communication channel on cue early on. When the Doctor calls him out on it, he quickly claims I Meant to Do That.
• Large Ham: Engages in Ham-to-Ham Combat against the Tenth Doctor.
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast: The Master. Ultimately, subverted:
  Thirteenth Doctor: Tell me, why do they call you "The Master"?
  The Master: I'll explain later.
• Rule of Three: The Master falls into the sewers of Terserus thrice, each time taking 312 years to climb back out and growing ancient and repugnantly filthy in the process.
• Sissy Villain:
  Tenth Doctor: I remember you, don't I?
  The Master: And you still fear me, Doctor.
  Tenth Doctor: You're the camp one.
  The Master: I am not camp.
  Tenth Doctor: Oh yeah? Nice tits.
• The Slow Path: The Master has to do this to get out of the sewers. Three times.

The Daleks

• Bizarre Alien Senses: Only the Daleks would join the Master on his quest for revenge, since the Daleks have no noses (and he'd just escaped from a sewer).
• Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: The Daleks announce that they're going to exterminate the Master... and promptly end up shooting the Doctor and the Zektronic generator instead.
• Off-the-Shelf FX: These Daleks are made and played by Fan Film producers, specifically those of Devious (which is most notable for its final scenes with Jon Pertwee as the Third Doctor). You can clearly see the actors inside them in some shots.
• Science-Fiction Writers Have No Sense of Scale: The Dalek's new superweapon will enable them to take over the universe in minutes. How, you ask? We'll explain later.
• We Meet Again: A Dalek says it to the Ninth Doctor.

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