Blog / Rainbow Dash Reads Homestuck

Twilight insisted I use this picture. She was giggling when she put it up...

Okay, so, this is gonna take a bit of explaining.

So Twilight has been going on and on and on about this thing called Homestuck. I know, like, nothing about it but apparently it’s the best thing to happen ever since zap apple jam. This is normal for her, and I accept this. Twilight gets really freaking into things, and I have accepted that as an integral aspect of our friendship. Eventually she gets over it and moves on to some other nerdy thing to obsess over.

Thing is, it’s been like a month and she still won’t stop talking about it. So we broke a deal. Twilight is no longer allowed to talk about Homestuck, but in exchange I’ve gotta read it.

And post about it here.

Joy of joys.

So yeah, You guys get to hear my super-awesome opinions of this comic thingiemabobber. Yay. Twilight dug up this old picture of me and is making me use it as my avatar. Apparently I’ll get the joke later? I dunno.

What the hay have I got myself into…

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This tumblr contains examples of:

• Artificial Intelligence: One of Rainbow Dash's birthday gift was a pair of high-tech goggles with a bunch of awesome features, including an AI interface named Pinpoint. Which was based on Rainbow Dash's brain. And is capable of posting on the blog all by itself.
• Ascended Meme/Forced Meme: One particular user tried to make "Rainbow Dash Snorts Puppets" into a meme and failed. Later, however, Rarity joined the blog to help out with Rainbow's apparent puppet addiction.
  • However, referring to Rarity as a taco seems to have stuck, probably due to her reactions to it.
• Awesome, but Impractical: Rainbow Dash petulantly continues to lust for a Wingkind specibus, despite the difficulties that equipping such a slot would cause.
• Bad Date: Vinyl Scratch (from Trixie's blog) sets Rainbow Dash up with a blind date to take her mind off the situation with Twilight. The date turns out to be Lightning Dust. Who's underage. And still upset about getting kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy. The end result is that Rainbow Dash ends up arrested for statutory rape (fortunately overturned when the facts are made clear) while Lightning Dust is arrested for public disturbance and assault with a table, and gets into trouble with her parents (Spitfire and Soarin'). Dust later gets the bad idea to prove her maturity... by tracking down Dash and having sex with her. Fortunately Dash managed to hide in time.
• Berserk Button: Due to the weather in Rainbow Dash's world being completely controllable, and as helping to manage it is one of her duties, trying to talk about all of the natural disasters that occur in the (mostly fictional to her) human world...does not end well.
  • Pinpoint doesn't like when you disrespect goggles.
• Beta Couple: While Rainbow's feelings for Twilight have come up often, Rarity (formerly a frequent co-host) was in an actual relationship with Pinkie Pie long before Twilight had the chance to return Dash's feelings.
• Big Stupid Doo Doo Head: According to various hashtags, Rarity is a butt, Angel is also a butt, and Rainbow Dash is a big fat butt.
• Brick Joke: Rainbow's habits with puppets. A number of other brick jokes have been set up regarding her observations of Homestuck.
• Buffy Speak: Rainbow Dash is way too cool to bother with your capatacha thingies and your sylladex modusususususus.
• Ceiling Cling: Rainbow Dash hides from an angry and confused Lightning Dust by doing this, while the latter hogs the blog to calm down. She never looks up even once.
• Cosplay: According to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash dyed herself red during flight camp.
• Cryptic Conversation: Hilariously parodied.
  Charonib: Heh, if you think all of this puppet killing is bad, just wait until *spoilers* decides to *spoilers* and *spoilers* *spoilers* because *spoilers* can *spoilers *spoilers* and *spoilers* *spoilers* *spoilers* *spoilers* *spoilers* *spoilers*. Plus, there's the basic fact that, eventually, *spoilers*.
  Rainbow Dash: What about when *spoilers* *spoilers* with *spoilers* *spoilers *spoilers* a shovel? oh, snap, I can do it too. What’re you gonna do now?
• Curse Cut Short: Rainbow laments being unable to properly insult Dave because he cut his introduction in half before she could learn a new human word.
• Don't Explain the Joke: "Get it? Because she stabs people in the eyes with the needles!"
• Door Stopper: Homestuck itself, in Rainbow's opinion. Because it is.
• Easily Forgiven: After having some time to cool off from her taco-related meltdown, Rarity accepts the apologies of the askers graciously.
• Evil Counterpart: For a week or two, while reading through the Act 3 Intermission, regular Dash was replaced by a Dash that was a member of The Midnight Crew.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Rainbow Dash. She reads Homestuck.
• Eye Beams: Rainbow is quite surprised to learn that the ghostclown grandma is capable of this.
• Fridge Brilliance: Lightning Dust's mixed feelings for Dash looks surprisingly like a hatecrush, or an attempt at kissmesitude. Intentional?
• Flat "What": There are a substantial number of updates to which Dash's reaction is just "what."
• The Gadfly: Rarity dislikes taco references for... complicated reasons. So, naturally, on April Fool's day, Rainbow got Derpy to subscribe her to various taco-related magazines. The total number? 5,924.
  Rainbow Dash: Annnnnd considering that high-pitched squeek she just made, I think that means I’ve won April Fool’s this year.
• Humanity Is Infectious: Dash slowly starts to swear more and more.
• Humans Through Alien Eyes: Rainbow Dash has some hilarious confusion about human language and culture in the beginning scenes with John Egbert.
• Implausible Deniability: Why Rainbow doesn't miss Twilight at all after she went to Canterlot at all! And she certainly doesn't have feelings for her, nosiree bob!
• Innocent Innuendo: Pail on her head. Reading Homestuck. This was deliberately arranged by Twilight.
• Inventory Management Puzzle: These sorts of shenanigans continually annoy Rainbow.
• It Makes Sense in Context: Rainbow Dash's puppet snorting addiction.
• I Want Grandkids: When Twilight visits her parents for the first time since starting a relationship with Rainbow Dash, her mother immediately asks when she can expect some grandchildren. Twilight's reaction to this was apparently quite cute and amusing to watch.
• Lampshade Hanging: One snarky pegasus is responsible for a lot of this. Guess which one.
• Late-Arrival Spoiler: Rarity believes Homestuck to be about grey aliens with gaudy horns having romantic shenanigans, but upon reading Rainbow's blog feels she has been misinformed. The askers are quick to assure her that is not the case.
• Let Us Never Speak of This Again:
  • Fluttershy you promised not to tell anypony about that
  • To a lesser extent, Rarity and the taco thing. She's apparently not answering taco questions anymore.
• Loading Screen: Rainbow likes the trippy loading screen and the cool music.
• Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: Rarity is a taco!
• Meteor of Doom: This is what really gets Rainbow interested in the comic.
• Mood Whiplash: The already infamous nature of Homestuck is only compounded by Rainbow's either amused or disturbed cartoonish overreactions.
• Now You Tell Me: Rainbow is terrified of the puppet snuff... and then it turns out that Twilight blocked the askers WARNING her about it.
  • And that Rainbow's a big softy. Angel took pictures.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: Rarity's taco thing, Rainbow's shenanigans at Flight Camp.
• Relationship Upgrade: As of the blog's one-year anniversary/Rainbow Dash's birthday, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are now dating.
• Sanity Slippage: When Rarity joined the blog, a number of askers continually assumed she was a taco. The hashtags chronicle her descent into mania:
  Although I am rather partial to tacos.
  What is with the tacos?
  Enough with the tacos.
  I am not a taco.
  Can we drop the tacos now?
  Rainbow Dash is a taco.
  Tacos.
  Mexican food.
  I may be going slightly unhinged.
  Things Rarity is not, Rarity is not a taco.
  Perhaps we can move on from the friggen tacos now.
  Questions that aren't about tacos.
  Tacos Tacos Tosncsas, jflkaslkdjdfklsdkj
• Schedule Slip: Rainbow's "Real Life" with the Wonderbolts and the weather team sometimes interferes with the blog.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Rainbow's reaction to puppet snuff? Suddenly be willing to talk about her embarrassing adventures at Flight camp.
  • Gets a callback when the askers initially questioned whether she's in lesbimares with Twilight.
• Sorry, I'm Gay: Basically Twilight's reaction to discovering Big Macintosh had a crush on her.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Nope, Rainbow Dash is NOT in love with Twilight. Nor does she have a horn fetish. In fact, she's not in denial, your FACE is in denial!
• The 'Verse: Sparked an entire "Reading Rainbow-verse"
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Rainbow Dash has no problems with taking constant potshots at Rarity - making fun of her interests, saying she's out of shape, calling her a taco - whereas Rarity likes to spread gossip about Dash and her lovelife. They still consider each other close friends, still.
• Younger Than They Look: Turns out Lightning Dust is only sixteen, much to the freaking out of Rainbow Dash when she's put on a blind date with her.

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