Awesome / Thief of Time

• "My name is Lu-Tze." Said to an Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy who had decided to bully an innocent sweeper. The bully wilts.
  • And the dialogue preceding it:
  The dojo master stood up.
  "Hold! Do you not want to know the name of the man you are about to destroy?"
  The fighter held his stance, glaring at Lu-Tze.
  "I don't need to know the name of a sweeper!"
  "It is always wise to know the name of a sweeper, boy. And my question was not addressed to you."
• The "surge cascade" scene in the Procrastinator Hall, where Lobsang first demonstrates his mastery of time manipulation. The Procrastinators (giant spools that wind time into and out of the universe) have been disconnected from the real world, making them spin wildly and spew their time in random directions. The overseer on duty has been turned to dust after being struck by a stray 50,000 years, and Lu-Tze tries to take over and bring the situation under control. Lobsang, having never even seen the Procrastinators before, immediately intuits how to connect up the winding and unwinding spools in pairs so they balance out, even outperforming Lu-Tze, who was happy enough to get them close enough then dump the bits of spare time into an uninhabited part of the ocean, but Lobsang effortlessly balances the entire system without wasting even a single second.
• Lu-Tze turns out to know Deja-Fu, a martial art involving timebending, alone of all the time monks. And using it to beat the crud out of the son of the personification of Time, now doing mum's job, after extracting a promise from said son to not hurt him. Oh, and the part where he gets his head cut off.
  • "I thought you said none of the monks knew Deja Fu!" "Because I didn't teach it to them!"
  • There's a reason for Rule One.
  • This Pre Ass Kicking One Liner:
  "Why does no one ever listen to Rule One?"
• Death one-ups himself during the Auditor-instigated apocalypse when, after expressing his disapproval of the Auditors' actions and assembling with the other Horsemen:
  ...while it is true we have to ride out, Death added, drawing his sword, it doesn't say anywhere against whom.
  • A smaller one - when preparing to ride, War, who has been nothing but milquetoast before his domineering Valkyrie wife, politely asks her to step down from the horse. She begins wheedling him yet again, and with a single, polite sentence of echoes of bronze and steel, convinces her to mellowly step down.
• Susan, throughout. She faces down Nanny Ogg, and wins. And gets Nanny Ogg to tell her the whole truth. And that's just part of what she does.
  • Re-examine that statement. Made. NANNY OGG. Tell. The. Whole. TRUTH. Nanny Ogg, for whom the truth is a reference point, and can think through a corkscrew in a hurricane without touching the sides.
    • Nanny Ogg get her own one though:
  "So you get the other one, and I'll spit in his eye"
  • Also counts as a sort of CMOH, since normally emotional-as-an-ice-cube Susan has to make an emotional appeal to Nanny Ogg to get her to talk. That's right, the granddaughter of Death finds herself unable to threaten Nanny Ogg.
  • She beats down the Auditors with chocolate!
  • Less world-shaking, but Susan also gets a Crowning Moment of Awesome Teaching off-camera. We'll never know what, exactly, she did to get destructo-tyke Jason to shape up, but it surely rates...
  • In a similar vein: "one thing a bogey dos not like is Miss finding him".
  • Oh, and she absolutely terrifies a freaking hippopotamus - one of the most dangerous and territorial animals in the world - into retreating from its own river, by using the familial VOICE full-blast in its face.
• The moment Myria LeJean rejects her Auditor-ness.
  "I was one of them," said Myria LeJean. "Now, I rather think I'm one of me."
  • Her death could compete with that moment: perfectly diving into a lake of chocolate, naked and holding a silver ladle. Even Kaos admires her style.
• The Fifth Horseman, Kaos, thinks his time is past and no-one cares for his attribute anymore. Lu-Tze manages to convince him that chaos is back in again, citing chaos theory and so on, and persuades him to ride out against the Auditors — and, of course, chaos is the one thing they fear most in the universe.
  • Small CMOA to Terry's own subconscious, which was apparently way ahead of conscious mind - he was trying to think of a Fifth Horseman position for Ronnie Soak to occupy... and then he ran to the bathroom mirror with the word SOAK written down.
• Marco Soto's one exception. Nobody touches the hair.
  • The monks have rules stating that they are all required to shave their heads. Soto Rules Lawyers his way around this by defining his hair as a separate entity from himself.
• It's a small one, but Madam Frout manages to resist Death's voice.
• Nanny Ogg, it turns out, is the greatest midwife in the world. Given that the person describing her as such can move freely through time, this quite possibly means that she's not just the greatest midwife alive, but the greatest who has ever or will ever live.
  'Well, now,' she said. 'I'd say, yes, I'm a pretty good midwife, though I do say it myself. I've seen hundreds into the world. Even trolls, which is no errand for the inexperienced. I know birthing backwards and forwards and damn near sideways at times. Always been ready to learn something new, though.' She looked down modestly. 'I wouldn't say I'm the best,' she said, 'but I can't think of anyone better, I have to say.'