Awesome / The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

2015

• September 11th: Stephen invites US Open Champion Novak Djokovic (with trophy) onto the show and has the man serve tennis balls at him while he protects himself with Captain America's shield. Djokovic serves the ball so hard and fast that it hits the shield into Stephen's head hard enough to knock Stephen over.
• September 16th: In Stephen's 7th show, Carol Burnett shows up, and demonstrates she can still do her Tarzan yell.
• September 21st: The way Colbert handled the interview with Senator Ted Cruz has to be mentioned. During the 10 minute interview, Colbert not only calls out Cruz for his uncompromising right-wing views, but also called out his own audience as they started to boo the Senator, reminding them that he is still his guest and should be allowed to have his own say.
• September 30th: John Oliver appears on the show, and naturally, the two old friends have a blast reminiscing. When Colbert discusses Oliver's (lack of) interviews on Last Week Tonight, he also casually asks who Oliver has interviewed. Without missing a beat, Oliver replies, paraphrased, "Oh, just Stephen Hawking and Edward Snowden." Colbert is visibly impressed. When it comes to John Oliver and interviews, the motto appears to be, "Go big or go home."
• October 2nd: Stephen opens his main show talking about the Oregon tragedy, and talks about the nature of pretending, and the 2 main ways people think of solving the issue. However, he says that the thing we can't do is keep pretending that it won't happen again, because that's insanity.
  • Shortly afterwards, blasting Republican congressman Kevin McCarthy for inadvertently admitting that the numerous hearings on the 2012 Benghazi attack were primarily a preemptive attack against Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, something which already apparent to most people.^note On October 8, 2015, McCarthy dropped his bid.
• October 6th: Stephen gives an absolute master class on how to handle discussions of sexuality during an interview with Billy Eichner.
  Eichner: ... [Julie Klausner] said, 'Stephen Colbert is so smart he has to at least be bi.'"
  Stephen: [stunned silence, then smirks] I cannot honestly say I deserve that compliment but I take it as such.
• October 26th: Melissa Benoist and Stephen Colbert's conversation about feminism in the Supergirl television show.
• November 16th: After the November 13 terrorist attacks in Paris, the show starts by honoring France, with Stay Human playing "La Marseillaise", and Stephen saluting France while still gently skewering the French people, because he's a comedian and won't let terrorists scare him from doing his job.
• November 19th: Stephen blasts the blatant hypocrisy of various Republicans trying to argue that the US should only admit Christian Syrian refugees and exclude Syrian Muslims by quoting Matthew 25:35.
  Stephen: If you want to know if somebody is Christian, just ask them to complete this sentence, “Jesus said I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you —", and if they don’t say "welcomed me in," they are either a terrorist or they are running for president.
• December 8th: When a Turkish doctor gets arrested for comparing Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan to Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, defending his actions by saying that Gollum was actually a hero, Stephen, the ultimate LOTR nerd, shows his support delivering a passionate Atticus Finch-style monologue.

2016

• January 20th: When Sarah Palin gives a rambling speech supporting Donald Trump for president, Stephen gives his own rapid-fire speech endorsing several other candidates without losing his breath.
• January 28th: Donald Trump decides to skip the latest Republican presidential debate being held by Fox News, so Stephen gives him the opportunity to hold his own debate against... Donald Trump.
• June 15th: To explain Donald Trump's line of thinking, Stephen starts with a $100,000 Pyramid joke. Then he busts out the Figure-It-Out-Atron and draws a diagram to try to explain it further. What he ends up drawing first is a swastika, but later erases it and draws a series of lines he deduces is an asshole.
• July 18th:
  • Stephen celebrates the first night of his Republican National Convention coverage with the return of his Hyper-Conservative Persona giving us THE WØRD: "Trumpiness".
  • The night before the Republican National Convention, Stephen successfully trolls the RNC as his "Hungry For Power Games" character Caesar Flickerman, even getting onstage to say this:
  Stephen: I know I'm not supposed to be up here, but in all fairness, neither is Donald Trump.
• July 21st: Jon Stewart briefly takes up the reins in a brief but triumphant reprise of his old show as he proceeds to skewer the entire Republican party with an incredible "The Reason You Suck" Speech, outlining how and why they are craven, hypocritical opportunistic "born to rule" types who think the United States belongs to them, and who fight to exclude certain "subgroups" because they don't want certain privileges being taken away or having to share them with others, and will happily throw away their principles and support Donald Trump for the sake of power. One highlight is pointing out that many criticisms they gave to Obama can also apply to Trump.
  • Especially withering was him calling out those who vocally support "Blue Lives Matter" but voted against the Zadroga 9/11 Responders Bill, the one which Stewart literally had to go to Congress and shame them into passing.
• July 25th: Stephen visits the Democratic National Convention, once again posing as Julius Flickerman. Unlike the Republican National Convention example above, security actually does a good job at keeping Stephen off the stage, not even allowing him up there when Nancy Pelosi, the Democratic House Leader personally asked if he could. After taking literally hours and using a variety of tactics, ranging from simply walking back and forth to trying to charm the guards by singing the "Star Spangled Banner", Stephen finally manages to get on the podium by using a selfie stick to allay suspicion, waiting for a gap in the security, and then sprinting and parkour rolling (in a suit, no less) onto the stage.
  Julius Flickerman: I'm not one to gloat, but I won.
• September 19th: Stephen lays into Trump for trying to brush off the birther movement like it was no big deal even though Trump was its biggest supporter the whole time.
  Stephen: You don't get to flog this issue for five years and then act like you're correcting everybody else!
• October 19th: In his live show after the third 2016 Presidential Debate, Stephen goes harder than usual against Donald Trump. After skewering the man for nearly 12 solid minutes, Stephen caps it off by playing a clip of Trump lamenting The Apprentice's not winning any Emmys and bringing out two of his statuettes to parade them in front of the camera to mock Trump.
• November 8th: The 2016 election show.
  • Stephen ended the show with a plea for unity, followed by Stephen and the audience singing "My Country Tis of Thee".
    Stephen: The people who designed our democracy didn't want us in it all the time. Informed, yes. Politicking all the time, I don't think so. They designed an election that was meant to confuse us and bore us a little bit. That's why the Electoral College exists. And C-SPAN. And the State of the Union begins with 20 minutes of shaking hands with grandpas. But now, politics is everywhere, and that takes up precious brain space that we could be using to remember all the things we actually have in common.

2017

• February 14th: When new Republican spokesman Stephen Miller goes on all the Sunday shows to defend the president from dealing with a North Korea missile crisis from his table in a crowded dining room in Mar-a-Lago (potentially involving multiple serious breaches of national security), Stephen calls him "White House senior policy adviser and Young Gargamel, Stephen Miller".
  Miller: [talking on a clip] The powers of the President to protect our country are very substantial, and will not be questioned.
  Colbert: "Will not be questioned"? Let me test that theory: What the f*** are you talking about?
  [later]
  Miller: [on a clip, in an angry tone] I am prepared to go on any show, anywhere, any time, and repeat it, and say that the President of the United States is correct, one hundred per cent.
  Colbert: Any show, any time, anywhere? Perfect. How about the Late Show, tomorrow, at the Ed Sullivan Theater? Okay? [...] And, listen: If you don't show up, I'm gonna call you a liar. And if you do show up, I'm gonna call you a liar to your face.
  • And Miller didn't show up.
• February 27th: Trump says he's tired of news articles citing anonymous sources for their attacks on him, and challenges the people saying he's a horrible person to just do it directly. All Stephen has to do is say one word and raise his finger to indicate that he'll happily comply and the audience explodes with cheering.
  Stephen: [pointing up with a mile-wide grin on his face] ...Sir? [massive cheers erupt from the studio]
• May 1st: A similar situation to the above example happens after an interview made by John Dickerson from CBS's Face the Nation to President Trump, in which Trump says that he watches the program but prefers to call it "Deface the Nation", and after Dickerson brings up Trump's wiretapping allegations, Trump abruptly cuts off the interview. So Stephen steps in:
  Stephen: President Trump, John Dickerson is a fair-minded journalist and one of the most competent people to ever walk into your office, and you treat him like that? Now, John Dickerson has far too much dignity to trade insults with the President of the United States. But I, sir, am no John Dickerson. (Mockingly Cracks His Knuckles as John the pianist quips "Oooh he taking off his gloves now!") Mr. Trump, your presidency? I love your presidency. I call it Disgrace the Nation. You're not the POTUS; you're the BLOATUS. You're the glutton with the button. You're a regular Gorge Washington. You're the presi-dunce, but you're turning into a real prick-tator. Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock holster. (Thunderous applause and cheers) Your presidential library is going to be a kids' menu and a couple of Juggs magazines. The only thing smaller than your hands is your tax returns, and you can take that any way you want.
• May 3rd: After Conservatives had riled up outrage over the above comments and tried to pressure CBS into firing him, Stephen begins his monologue by recapping what had happened thusly:
  Stephen: If you saw my monologue on Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine. So, at the end of that monologue, I had a few choice insults for the President in return. I don't regret that.
• May 5th: A minor case compared to some of the others, but Stephen performing "Feel Good Inc." with Gorillaz filling in for De La Soul and doing surprisingly well. Crosses over into Funny Moment too due to Stephen replacing De La Soul's "Chocolate Attack" line with "Mayonnaise Attack".
• July 11: After Donald Trump Jr. published the chain of emails regarding the accusations that he colluded with Russia over Twitter, which only served to prove that he agreed to a collusion with Russia, Stephen brings back the Figure-it-out-a-tron. It ends with Don Jr. in prison.
• July 26: Stephen totally shreds Trump's tweet about banning transgender people from the military.
  Stephen: "Thank you"!? ... F*** you! [all of that is bleeped out]
  [ovation abounds]
• October 30th: Introducing Colbert's OMN: Obvious Metaphor Network and their take on the Mueller investigation and the indictments of several in Trump's Administration. (In a nutshell: Everybody's screwed!)
• November 1st: After Donald Trump Jr. used his cute little daughter to make a stupid "point" about "Socialism", Colbert responds with his own candy-based object lesson.
• December 15th: Jodie Foster returning to the role of Clarice Starling after 26 years, nailing every single facial nuance and vocal inflection as if she'd just played the part yesterday.

2018

• February 19th: Stephen's monologue following the Parkland high school shooting. After Stephen noted that the kids went to their state lawmakers to plead to them to discuss an assault weapons ban and they voted no anyway, Stephen followed:
  Stephen: Well, I hope this kids won't give up, because this is their lives and their future. Someone else may be in power, but this country belongs to them. And there is reason for hope. Look at the #MeToo movement. A lot of men in power did not see that coming. But it proved that change can happen overnight. And this is an election year. So if you want to see change, you have to go to the polls and tell the people who will not protect you that their time's up.
• February 28th: His interview with Omarosa, refusing to make any pretense that he actually wants to be doing it, being as stern and dead-serious as possible, and visibly not buying any of the BS she tries to put out (including a very obvious attempt at sucking up to him) and being subtly, yet clearly annoyed at her non-answers.
• June 13th: Stephen calling out on Jeff Sessions for using the Bible to justify forcefully separating immigrant children from their parents, simply by reading a bit further into the chapter he quoted and pointing out that it also says not to harm your neighbor. He then encourages the listeners to use Father's Day to call their representatives and demand that they stop the practice, because no matter what party you are, using cruelty as a deterrent is wrong.
• June 19th:
  • After a half-hearted defense of immigrant families being torn apart with the kids put in cages, Satan (played by Stephen) has a final word for Jeff Sessions: "See you soon."
  • This:
    Trump: They^note The "fake" news media are helping these smugglers and these traffickers, like nobody would believe.
    Stephen: You're right, I don't believe you.
• June 22nd:
  • After Roger Stone reveals he did have Russian contacts during the election, bringing the total number of Trump campaign members with Russian ties up to 11.
    Stephen: But hey, who's counting? (turns to close-up camera) Robert Mueller is.
  • Stephen looks over a puff-piece from GQ on Donald Trump Jr. about how he's unable to impress his dad and how he's a "sad and tragic figure."
    Stephen: Awww, my heart goes out to that poor Russia-colluding, wife-cheating, conspiracy theory-tweeting, son of a billionaire. In the words of a great poet, "womp womp".^Context Around the time that episode was aired, former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski got into a controversy when he responded to one account of immigrant families being separated by making a "womp womp" Losing Horns sound.
• July 30th: When Les Moonves, CEO of CBS and Stephen's boss, was accused of sexual misconduct six women, Stephen refused to defend him or ignore the issue. Instead he said, on camera, that Moonves must be held accountable for his actions.
• Stephen's response to the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, in which Dr. Christine Blasley Ford, a woman Kavanaugh went to high school with, came forward about him assaulting her at a party... and Kavanaugh responded to that by screaming about how this whole investigation was just the result of liberals and Democrats trying to ruin him.
  Stephen: Let me tell you, brother, this is the whirlwind, and the wind was sown when Donald Trump had nineteen credible allegations of sexual assault against him, bragged about sexual assault on tape. And your Republican buddies up on that committee said, 'Yeah, but we want our guy on the Supreme Court' — and that's you, Brett. That doesn't mean you're guilty, but please, save your indignation that, finally, someone is taking one woman's accusation of sexual assault seriously.
• After a long series of brief teasers, Laura Benanti's Broadway-certified singing and dancing talents finally come to the fore in a full-blown musical number that's as hilarious as it is awesome.
• December 20th: Colbert and Co. cranked out a 7 minute cartoon mini-special called A Very Special Counsel Christmas, a fun Saving Christmas plot in which Robert Mueller helps out Santa when Trump has the latter replaced by a Bad Santa named Rick.

2019

• June 17th: Jon Stewart came out of retirement as he occasionally does on this show which is awesome in and of itself but this time it was for round three of his war of words with Senate Majority Leader (and slow moving turtle) Mitch McConnell taking him to task over his tendency to use the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund as a bargaining chip to further his own political ends at the expense of the sick and dying first responders while also calling out congressional Republicans for being "busy" doing nothing.
  Jon: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt them with their jobs!"
• December 10th: This episode's introduction of "Meanwhile", done in a 'Twas the Night Before Christmas style poem with elements of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!:
  Stephen: Folks, you know I spend a lot of time over there,
  Standing on stage away from my chair,
  Turning the news into a great Christmas feast
  Full of Who Pudding and rare Who Roast Beast.
  Where we exchange presents and light the Yule Log
  For the great Whoville Christmas that is my monologue.
  But sometimes, I pull a great Grinch-y trick
  And dress up in red to look like St. Nick,
  Take my dog Benny, and then some black thread,
  And tie a big horn to the top of his head.
  And I pilfer each present for many a mile
  To steal the Christmas of news that is my segment...
  [cue "Meanwhile" graphic]

2020

2021

• January 6th: After an unpleasant storming of the US Capitol during the certification results of president-elect Joe Biden, a clearly upset Stephen called out the GOP for enabling the president Donald Trump, as well for hiding during the attacks and taking no responsibility for the deplorable events that caused a permanent stain on United States democracy.
  Stephen: Hey, Republicans who support this President, especially the ones in the joint session of Congress today, have you had enough? After five years of coddling this president's fascist rhetoric, guess whose followers want to burn down the Reichstag? 'Cause today, the US Capitol was overrun for the first time since 1814 and a woman died! Who could have seen this coming? Everyone? Even dummies like me! This is the most shocking, most tragic, least surprising thing I've ever seen. For years now, people have been telling you cowards that if you let the president lie about our democracy over and over, and then join him in that lie and say that he's right, when you know for a fact that he is not, there will be a terrible price to pay. But you just never thought you'd have to pay it too.
  • How Stephen ends the monologue:
  Stephen: In 2022, when all of those Republicans responsible for what happened are running for reelection, remember them for who they showed themselves to be today: cynical cowards who believe the voters should not get to choose who governs this country. Let's hope the voters prove them all wrong.
  • Then he had on Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, who had been at the heart of the Senate action during said riots — and she was as livid as she has ever been in public.
    Amy: [with Tranquil Fury] It was a coup, Stephen. It was a coup. I kept calling it a coup when they brought it up. Now that's what you saw that that President tried to incite. But I will tell you one thing — he failed.
• January 19th: Stephen rakes Melania Trump over the coals for her continued tone-deafness and self-serving statements as her time in the White House comes to an end. This segues neatly into Laura Benanti taking on the role of Melania one last time in an epic swansong that takes the form of a musical performance inspired by "Belle" from the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack. And the segment ends with Stephen teasingly thanking Benanti for reasons that have nothing to do with what was just shown.
• March 3rd: After the controversial ban of six Dr. Seuss books because of "racist and insensitive imagery," he makes it very clear that while the trend of cancel culture is immoral, it also serves as a motivation for people to "retire books with racist imagery." He then proceeds to praise and argue that Dr. Seuss's estate, Dr. Seuss Enterprises, for banning all six books on their own volition rather than as a result of a controversy as a sign that they know the consequence of selling those products, especially kids. It is because he believes that his books should be fun and enjoyable for all people no matter the age, especially for kids. He then changes the topic and talks about the books from Dr. Seuss that had a positive impact. As a finishing sentence, Colbert began to recommend books that sheds light on underrepresented people.
• June 21st: During Colbert's discussion on the "History Tour" held by former Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and the now-former U.S. president (who Colbert quotes a Twitter user in calling "The Flag Fondler", accompanied by a photo of Trump awkwardly hugging the American flag), the studio audience passionately boos for nearly 20 seconds straight! Immediately after, Colbert asks, "How do you feel?" and the crowd laughs. While Trump was never a favorite with the Late Show crowd, five months and 20 days after Trump incited a mob of his extremist supporters to intrude the Capitol, break loose all hell on everyone inside and essentially try to reverse the electoral decision by (mostly physical) force, you can tell the audience has found a deep hatred for the man and everyone associated with him and his presidential tenure.
• June 29th: Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd come on the show and engage Stephen in yet another LOTR trivia contest and, finally, become the ones to stump Stephen on LOTR facts^note Ryan Gosling doesn't count as he used a trick question !
• December 16th: Stephen realizes that there's nothing special planned for the twentieth anniversary of the release of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. So he and Jon take it upon themselves to perform rap about the "#1 Trilly" featuring appearances by Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, and Orlando Bloom, plus cameos by Method Man, Killer Mike, Anna Kendrick, Viggo Mortensen, and Andy Serkis. It even has an extended segment where Hugo Weaving raps in Elvish!

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