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Awesome / The Cinema Snob

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  • The montage/music video he made setting footage from Strike of the Panther to "No Easy Way Out" from Rocky IV.
  • His review of Cannibal Holocaust - the whole damn thirty minute thing. It is absolutely wonderful (in a disturbing way).
    • He gets double the amount of awesome points for refusing to show the scenes depicting actual animal deaths.
  • Recreating the A Clockwork Orange title sequence for his review of A Clockwork Orgy.
  • The Snob identifies two in his review of Hitler, Dead or Alive, wherein Ward Bond shoots down a German fighter plane with a Tommy gun and SHAVES HITLER.
  • While reviewing Child Bride, he can barely bring himself to make any jokes, and mostly just expresses genuine disgust with the subject matter. This doesn't keep the episode from being a non-stop Funny Moment, either.
    Priest: If anyone has a reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony...
    Snob: SHE'S TWELVE!
    • He begins the review by showing a clip of Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy talking about the film as one they refused to riff on, and the Snob just says, "Well, I don't have any standards... I'll do it." That's bravery.
    • The opening crawl exposits that they're neither condoning nor ridiculing the practice...
      Snob: It's about people who partake in child marriage. IT'S OKAY TO RIDICULE THEM.
  • The entire Maniac! (1980) review is a giant Take That! towards all the critics that didn't realize the violent film about a serial killer was a violent film about a serial killer.
  • The opening bumper to his Guyana: Cult of the Damned review. Brad starts off with reading an email from one of his 'fans', expressing disappointment in him for making fun of a dark chapter of American history in his previous review (The Helter-Skelter Murders), and proceeds to tell him how to do his job by 'suggesting' he stick to porno parodies and exploitation films. Brad considers this for a moment, and then promptly disregards it. Snob doesn't take shit from just anybody, after all.
    Snob: Damn... okay, well... shit. Okay, so... [Manic Grin] Let's do it again!
  • When Oancitizen called out other TGWTG reviewers for being sheltered in the review for Sweet Movie, even he had to acknowledge that the Cinema Snob had him beat with E.T. the Porno.
  • Brad promised to review any DVD sent to him. So when someone sent in Guys Gone Wild: Young And Hung, he lived up to his word and reviewed it. Keep in mind, while he reviews porn as the Snob all the time, it's usually Porn with Plot. This is just a bunch of naked guys... and he still makes it hilarious.
  • Brad showing off his knowledge of the Super Mario Bros. series, making better references than the porno spoof he was reviewing.
    • He managed to make humping the air while Super Mario Bros. sound effects play an awesome moment.
  • His explanation for why Alan from Return to Sleepaway Camp is an unlikable Jerkass who is just as bad as his bullies in comparison to Angela from the original.
  • The opening to his Water Power video, if you're a Frank Zappa fan.
  • In his Heartbeeps review:
  • The Gayracula review does an impressive job of humorously mocking a really bad gay porno without lapsing into homophobia.
  • The Snob's appreciation and defense for James Spader in the Endless Love review.
  • His review of Mommie Dearest, viciously mocking the film's 'camp' reputation and razzies as being unwarranted.
    • His utter contempt for the Razzies and the people who vote for them.
    • We might have expected him to run with the 'GARBAGE DAY!!'-esque popularity of the "Nooooooo. Wiiirrreeee! HANGARRRRSSSSSS!" scene, but instead, he hilariously decries the people who turned it into a meme, and shows the scene nearly in full, exposing just how terrifying the scene actually is when not viewed as a soundbite. His reaction is that of Stunned Silence mixed with subdued horror at witnessing it.
      • Note that he acknowledges how people can find the scene over-the-top, and that "NO WIRE HANGERS" is a very quotable line, but at the end of the day, the scene still shows child abuse. And he doesn't think that the people who do find that scene funny are bad people or should be shamed for thinking it.
    • And then he ends the review by taking his glasses, going out of character into Brad mode, and proclaiming that Faye Dunaway's performance as Joan Crawford might be the greatest movie performance of all time.
    • A later scene, where Tina hands Joan a drink while she has company over, elicits this remark upon seeing Joan's Death Glare.
      Snob: I've seen Guinea Pig and Salo, and this makes me terrified about what's coming next!
  • The Friday the 13th Part III review is in actual 3-D with the help of Ed Glaser; it may be a first for an online review.
  • Always going out of his way to note that Michael Chiklis is actually an awesome John Belushi in Wired, in spite of the film being a terrible anti-drug after school special and a fairly shallow exploration of Belushi's life in general.
    Snob: There are a lot of things that are so wrong with Wired. Michael Chiklis isn't one of them.
  • The freakout in homage to the scene from The Stepfather during the review of the film, where the titular killer forgets which identity he's meant to be using momentarily. Brad starts freaking out in front of a mirror, trying to figure out whether he's the host of The Big Box, Kung-Tai Ted, Eighties Dan, or the Snob. If you didn't believe Brad could act based on some of his previous efforts, that scene just might sway you, he's that authentic.
  • In his review to Driller: A Sexual Thriller he manages to review the porn parody of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video without doing any poor taste jokes toward Jackson and with that makes the review enjoyable for MJ fans as well. This also counts as an heartwarming as well.
  • Doing a 3-part review of Heaven's Gate for his 300th episode, as well as covering the film's notorious Troubled Production in detail and parodying said production in all parts.
    • He notes that a horse was accidentally blown up on set, and doesn't know which scene actually contains it. He eventually comes across it with an appropriately disturbed reaction:
      Snob: Okay... I think I found the horse scene. Pretty sure I did. Not only can you see that the rider on the horse was injured, but they clearly added a horse sound effect to match with the horse's death. (referring to Michael Cimino) Dude, you're making it hard for me to feel sorry for you that this movie bombed.
  • In 2019, Snob manages to take over TGWTG, overthrowing Critic, and keeping him as a Sex Slave.
  • A small pair of moments are from when he riffs on the Siskel and Ebert reviews for Friday the 13th Part 4 and Part 5, pointing out instances Cowboy BeBop at His Computer, various mistakes, and just generally making fun of both reviews.
  • His reaction to the mother in Elves killing a cat.
    Snob: I'd kill her. ...I'd fucking kill her.
    • When the mother is offed by the titular elf, Snob/Brad's response is a disgusted, "That was far too quick a death."
  • Repeatedly calling out Miss Clara on her nosy, arrogant, and downright dangerous behavior towards Elizabeth in his War Room review.
    • Frequently calling the film out for never once bringing up leaving her husband as an option for Elizabeth or having the two of them undergo counseling, despite the fact the man is verbally abusive, over controlling, tries cheating on her, neglects their daughter and turns out to be a drug dealer.
  • Anytime Snob just outright calls out Old Fashioned, and by extention, its director/writer/main actor for all its bullshit and warped messages on how a proper relationship should be like... which is to say, the entire review.
  • Similar to that, Snob brutally taking down God's Not Dead for its stereotyping, strawmanning and reactionary nature, and suggests that if athiests made a movie where the "asshole characters" were the heroes and the lone Christian character shot up a Planned Parenthood clinic, the filmmakers of Not Dead would hypocritically be against the movie without realizing they basically did the same thing to non-Christians.
    • After Josh claimed that without god, there's no reason to be moral: "No, it's because we all need to exist in a functioning society and we're not all psychopaths." This quote came from a reviewer of films like Nukie and the E.T. Porno, and yet it utterly destroyed the point of this so called professional Christian movie!
    • In addition, the speech at the end...
      Snob: Are you a Christian? Well, you're the persecuted hero who can do no wrong! Liberal blogger? You're a bitch and you'll get cancer! Atheist? You just hate God, verbally abuse your girlfriend and you will fucking die! Muslim? Your father will beat the shit out of you when he finds out you're reading scripture! Dean Cain? Bastard!
    • The year after that, God's Not Dead 2 demonizes the ACLU as a bunch of card carrying villains out to destroy Christianity. The Snob responds by presenting a list of dozens of cases where the ACLU actually defended the rights of Christians, showing that in all three God's Not Dead movies, they probably would have been on the protagonists's sides.
  • Carmelo Licciardello (AKA Carman), the singer/actor/evangelist who spread the Word of God not by decrying anyone who doesn't believe like him, but by being straight-out awesome. How Awesome was Carman? He walked into an Old West bar as a holy bounty hunter with a blessed gun and shot false prophets, alcoholism, depression, cancer, and other "wicked" concepts before gunning down Satan. He also flew a plane filled with a bunch of religious figures, exorcised the ghost of an Asylum monster (a mangator), led a revolt in a hard pipe and sparks factory, and went into space. You can tell throughout the review how much the Snob loves the video and Carman for preaching by being awesome rather than the strawmanning from the usual Christian films he reviews.
  • The Snob refusing to give an inch to Estus Pirkle and his fearmongering, exploitative "Christian scare films" (to use Something Awful's term for them).
    • In the Burning Hell review, Snob shows that the apple doesn't fall far from the Pirkle tree when he brings up the fact his son Greg Pirkle attempted to run for Congress. Keyword being "attempt".
      Greg Pirkle: I'm Greg Pirkle. I have to tell you that I'm Greg Pirkle and that I approve this message because of some ridiculous rules set by the bureaucrats in DC.
      Snob: Oh my God! It's so someone can't last-minute slander you, and so you can be held accountable for your words. You dumb, stupid fuck! And this guy is a lawyer! Seriously!
  • Last Ounce of Courage:
    • Snob ends up being so disgusted by the film (which pushes the so-called "War on Christmas") for its blatant falsehoods and the martyr complexes of the protagonists that he forgoes his usual summing up of the film and describing the creators of the film in greater detail in favour of cutting to the chase and describing those involved with no minced words at all:
      Snob: Idiots. Idiots made this movie. The movie is written and directed by fucking idiots, for idiots. Idiots made this film because they know just how idiotic a person would have to be in order to buy this idiot porn. So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, take care of yourselves and each other, and don't be a fucking idiot.
    • Perhaps the crowning jewel of the review is when, following the idea that a town would come under fire for putting up Christmas trees and decorations, he takes the camera outside and shows that the Illinois state capitol has a massive Chrstimas tree, draped in hundreds of Christmas lights.
      Snob: Take your persecution complex and shove it straight up your ass!
    • He does it again a few minutes later when the main character of the movie bemoans a lack of "real Christmas music" being played on the radio. And as stated in the Midnight Screenings video for Silence, it was the first song that played when he turned his radio on.
      Snob: [sitting in his car] Watch this. [turns on a radio station in the process of playing "Silent Night"] There is not one, but two stations in town that play non-stop, 24-hour Christmas music from Thanksgiving to Christmas! This movie is made by lying sacks of shit!
    • Later on, Snob calls out the film for its blatant politicizing of dead soldiers:
    Snob (responding to the main character's claim that soldiers are wondering if they died in vain): No, they're thinking they died for real issues and not because some old biker can use their deaths to complain that there's not enough Christmas lights in Whoville!
  • On May 29th 2017, for the 10th anniversary of the show, The Snob dropped TEN reviews at once. Each one a follow-up to a review from a corresponding year.
  • There's something amazing in how the Snob defends the original TV Sex and the City versus its film adaptation bringing up the former's smarter writing and Character Development, which the latter lacked (despite the writer having worked on the original series).
    • Comes to a head in his Sex and the City 3 review, which actually covers a Sex and the City porno spoof. Snob actually finds himself interested in the film's plot and finds it to be more faithful than the actual Sex and the City movies. What's even more jarring is that the film's director is Lee Roy Myers, the man responsible for most of the films put out by Wood Rocket Productions, which Snob had mocked time and time again for being Shallow Parodies.
  • At the end of his Christian Mingle: The Movie review, he has a scene that calls out people who only want him to bash religion, specifically Islam:
    Walt Right: Bash Muslims!
    Snob: Okay, I'm guessing you want me to watch a theoretical Muslim equivalent of Christian Mingle or God's Not Dead. Well, here's what you do: First, you gotta make them a huge subgenre here in the States to the point to where some of them open very big at the box office, make sure they reflect very poorly on that religion, or at the least, cross over into So Bad, It's Good territory like Saving Christmas. And this is important, too: I actually have 12+ years in Christian education, which is why I'm equipped with the knowledge to talk about these movies since I've actually studied the religion, whereas I don't have knowledge in other religions to the point to where I could talk about their movies. It'd be like talking about someone else's dad!
    Walt: Who said anything about movies? I just wanna see you bash a religion that I fucking hate!
    Snob: Ugh! You're gross! You're a gross person!
  • As Snob points out in his I'm Not Ashamed review (while in character, keep in mind), Jesus, Bro! managed to parody the "whole world is a stage" scene from the movie before I'm Not Ashamed was even released.
  • Snob manages to find an even worse "War on Christmas" film in the form of Christmas with a Capital C. How bad is it? The film has the audacity to claim that Christmas should be the only holiday celebrated in December and the idea of being inclusive towards Hanukkah and Kwanzaa is met with disgust by the main characters. Needless to say, Snob has a field day with this.
    • He even goes as far as to admit that as awful as Last Ounce of Courage was, it at least promoted equality among all religions during the holiday season.
    • The epitome of the Snob's ire towards the "heroes" of the film can be summed up with this line from the review:
      Snob: That's right, the guy in a Christmas onesie thinks you're a CHILD.
    • He also balked at the idea that "Christmas has a capital 'C' because it's named after Christ". Apparently the filmmakers don't realize that every holiday is capitalized because they're proper nouns.
    • Not to mention, when a review from Movieguide said that this movie showed "love triumphs over political correctness", Snob points out how the movie's "heroes" were being the more offended party throughout the course of the movie, ending with "Who's the whiny little bitch now?!".
  • When one of the guest speakers in The Believer's Heaven is Jack Hyles, a man with decades worth of sexual assault scandals and cover ups of said scandals, the Snob points out the hypocrisy of such a despicable person talking about heaven with a simple statement:
    Snob: In other words, Dr. Jack Hyles is NOT in Heaven.
  • Despite the absolute seething hatred he had for the character David Schwimmer played in Kissing A Fool, Snob/Brad is still absolutely complementary about Schwimmer's acting skills, from Friends' more dramatic scenes to The People v. O. J. Simpson.
  • A minor one for Jason X. The Snob gives a small round of applause for the famous scene where Jason kills someone by dunking their face in liquid nitrogen and smashing it. The fact a slasher film gets any form of respect from the Snob is rare, especially for a kill.
  • One for The Wasp Woman and Roger Corman, where Snob sarcastically points out the film's progressive commentary on prioritizing appearances in businesses especially when women are in employment and the lengths they will go to maintain their beauty and job security as well as Corman's genuinely respectable filmography that includes adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe's works that are considered some of the finest of their kind. All of which he throws out to emphasize the fact that The Wasp Woman is apparently just another stupid B-Movie created by a man whose filmography has the reputation of being nothing but B-Movies. Take That, Critics!
  • Snob's review of Dinesh D'Souza's Hillary's America is a cavalcade of him stringing up the movie for its baffling Insane Troll Logic, the blatantly one sided attacks on the Democratic Party fueled by it (the current incarnation still somehow holding the same thoughts on black people as the KKK, a particularly over-the-top college age Hillary Clinton who laughs insanely at Nixon on the TV saying pretty milquetoast things, etc), blatant disregard for actual evidence and cited sources for bizarre claims and comparisons (like saying Obamacare was directly inspired by Al Capone killing a man with a baseball bat, that Planned Parenthood's existence is a plot to commit genocide against racial minorities, etc), inconsistent moral preaching about the evils of Andrew Jackson and the matters of sexual consent (as it only holds this to Democrats and Bill Clinton, even though Snob points out that Trump has said good things about Jackson and has also been accused of sexual assault), and how the film is blatantly not a documentary due to it following D'Souza "uncovering" what he talks about in the film on blatant sets where the people there are obviously actors and having a Klansmen magically teleport out of a movie projection and ride around the White House lawn. At the end, Snob says the movie isn't even about having a conservative view and explaining and/or celebrating said view, but a giant attack ad... and a poorly done one at that.
  • Snob pointing out that Mobsters and Mormons, while fairly cliche, is essentially a religious film done right. There's no conversion attempt (the "outsider" character Carmine starts out as Catholic and remains Catholic after the events in the movie), the Mormons in the movie are depicted as normal, everyday people that tolerate Carmine's snarkiness without getting preachy or offended, Carmine has actual character development, and when problems do arise, everyone is there for each other instead of being at each other's throats.
  • What does Brad do for the 500th episode of The Cinema Snob? A Gamebooks-style review centered around the filmography of Steve Guttenberg. Genius.
    • And then he gets to interview the man himself.
  • The fact that Brad did the Hellraiser: Judgement review despite testing positive for COVID-19 (which he recovered from).
  • Brad's review of Skullduggery featured the surprise return of The Spoony One himself, Noah Antwiler, after a decade long hiatus.

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