Awesome / Christopher Titus

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• Minor credit should go to Bruce Smith, who managed Titus in his early days of comedy. Titus was milling about for twelve years, doing generic material hoping to get a Tonight Show spot like other comedians of the time. Bruce recognized that Titus' real life was much riper material, and gave him an ultimatum to either be himself onstage or find a new manager. Titus tried it out that night, and the rest is history.
  "That happy guy you are onstage? I've never met that guy. He's never been to my office. I don't know who he is."
• The man himself. The main page makes it clear that Titus has lived an extremely harsh life, with suicides, abuse, divorce, betrayal, cruelty, and at least one near-death experience. And guess what? He's still alive and, most importantly, as stated in Neverlution, he uses himself and his life experiences as an antidepressant for others and himself (one that doesn't lead to death if taken with alcohol).
  • Also his dad. As mentioned in Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding and the first episode of Titus: Chris' father, for all of his womanizing, smoking, drinking, and partying, never missed a day of work, never missed a house payment or car payment, and he always made sure his kids had what they wanted, even if it meant Ken had to go without (which connects with Ken spending his life savings on a lawyer so he can get his son Chris back from his mentally deranged mother and her relatives after being branded an unfit father by social services). He also survived four heart attacks (but not the fifth one) and five divorces, with each wife (including the mentally unstable Juanita [Ken's second wife]) he married taking him for everything he had (to the point that the only thing Titus's family had in the house was a wooden box, a 12" black-and-white TV, and a rubber raft for a couch, which, strangely, made Titus the coolest kid in the third grade, because the kids in his class wanted to row to breakfast on the raft and be Captain Crunch for a day).
• His plan to stop terrorism, where he explains that by giving the United States' enemies access to big-screen TVs and free cable they could see how:
  Titus: We build monster trucks for fun! We built the world's fastest drag racer goes 0-60 in three seconds, because we were bored! ...Piss us off and see what we build.
• Also, the doctor that worked on Titus' hands after the bonfire incident for getting right in his face and shouting some sense into him about the fact that he could easily have been dead and charred if not for pure luck (i.e., his idiot friends rescuing him and his happening to exhale upon falling in), with bonus points earned for doing so while Titus was completely out of it due to the morphine/alcohol interaction his body was going through.
  • A bit before that occurrence is when Titus actually falls in the bonfire. One of his drunk friends hears him screaming and does what Titus describes as a "full speed runnin’, jumpin’, drunk Jackie Chan leap-flip thing" to reach Titus and yank him out of the bonfire. It's possible that the guy's quick actions are part of the reason Titus survived.
• Titus mentions having broken - shattered, really - his hand during a martial arts demonstration. Hoping to make a quiet exit and quietly take himself to the hospital to have his hand un-tinkertoyed, he is then roped into holding the board for several young trainees to kick in half - and mentions that every one of them managed to hit his broken hand. He kept it together - and then had to shake hands with the visiting martial arts masters. He still kept it together, although one of the visiting masters mentioned to his master that he had apparently tried to speak Korean, presumably while gasping in pain. The only way his master knew that he had horribly broken his hand is because Titus came in later and told him.
• His bit on the word "retard" is a brilliant piece in which he deconstructs the meaning behind the word.
  Titus: What does it mean? It means you were born a certain way. You were born at a certain level but you didn't live up to that. You are behind where you should have been. You are retarded, right? But let's talk about this: that guy in the Olympics with the blades for legs? Lemme ask you something: any of you guys make the Olympics? I see paraplegics going to law school, getting law degrees, taking down these billion-dollar companies in civil suits. Kids with Down's, and access to levels of love we can't even imagine! I'm sorry; that's not retarded! That's advanced! But if you have everything working perfectly, you have all your facilities about you but you wind up addicted to crystal meth and living under a bridge? You're fucking retarded.
  • Something that crosses into a Funny Moment is, if you listen really carefully, you can hear an audience member shout "Oh, shit!" right before Titus gets to those mic dropping last few lines.
• In Born with a Defect, he describes a moment where his daughter avoided a Morton's Fork by deciding to Take a Third Option. At a church service on Mother's Day, Titus ended up sitting right behind his ex-wife, with his new wife in tow. Titus' daughter went to get a rose from the priest to give to her mother, but the little girl said she has two moms and wanted two roses.^note Titus lampshades that "in California" - a state with a large gay population - "you'd think they'd have thought of that."The priest told her to only take one rose, leading Titus to start worrying that she'd have to pick which mother to give it to. Undaunted, she tore the rose in half, handed both of her moms a few petals each, and hugged them both.
• To encourage people to stay inside during the Covid-19 quarantine, Titus has been uploading one of his comedy specials to Youtube per week.
  • He's also been uploading an episode of Titus every day as well. Knowing the history behind the show's cancellation, the fact that he is able to do this at all is a feat in and of itself.
    • More specifically, he isn't able to, at least legally. This is not enough to stop Christopher Titus and his massive set of brass hangers.
• More of something awesome that happened to him - in Carrying Monsters he details how after losing custody of his kids his ex-wife then files again for more child support, dragging him back to court again. Having blown up at the judge the last time and being extremely concerned and anxious at going back to court...
  • First, the court date his ex-wife selected? His new wife's birthday. She responds by "turning the hotness level up to 11" and it actually helps him keep it together.
  • Secondly, the judge is extremely late, which concerns Titus "because that means he's telling the SWAT team it's okay to taze me if I won't shut up" only for a completely different judge to come in, tell Titus to wait before speaking, and casually tear apart all of his ex-wife's lies (and frauds, which he mentions the IRS will handle, not him) and promises to fine and sanction Titus's ex-wife if she drags Titus back to court one more time. Then he asks Titus if he has anything he wants to say. Titus is so unprepared for this that he merely gibbers in confusion for a few seconds before giving the guy a double thumbs up.

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