Analogy Backfire / Live-Action TV

Analogies backfiring in live-action TV.

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• 3rd Rock from the Sun:
  Dick Solomon: I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet.
  Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
  Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
  Mary Albright: Dead.
  Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
  Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
  Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
  Mary Albright: Drunk, insane and dead.
  Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
  Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.^note German for “killed”.
  Dick Solomon: Aha! Siegfried and Roy.
  Mary Albright: (beat) Okay, that's one.
• From According to Jim, when Jim's brother-in-law dates a girl Jim doesn't like, Jim (on separate occasions to his wife and his brother-in-law) makes up a hypothetical scenario of himself dating Osama bin Laden as a comparison. Too bad for him this trope haunts him when his target audiences think differently (his brother-in-law considers the possibility of turning bin Laden in for cash reward, and Jim's wife asks Jim if his relationship with bin Laden is serious).
• Angel:
  • Doyle is being pursued by Loan Sharks.
    Doyle: Well, I don't have the money! You can't get blood from a stone, man.
    Angel: They can get blood out of you.
  • While going to buy a Tome of Eldritch Lore, Wesley rallies Angel's spirits by telling him that he is special.
    Wesley: You're like one of these rare volumes. One of a kind.
    [Angel smiles. The proprietor appears carrying three old books.]
    Proprietor: I've got three of them.
• Babylon 5 gives us this exchange between Garibaldi and Bester. In a unusual inversion of the trope, Bester manages to turn an intended insult into something more positive.
  Bester: If I had my talent working, I could have warned you when he was coming.
  Garibaldi: And if I had a baseball bat, we could hang you from the ceiling and play piñata.
  Bester: A piñata, huh? So, you think of me as something bright and cheerful, full of toys and candy for young children? Thank you! That makes me feel much better about our relationship.
• The Barrier: A woman gets pregnant from an affair with a married man. The man tells her of a worrying government plan he has gotten wind of and later dies in suspicious circumstances. A government official who knew her child's father very well shows up to help her, and tells her she's safe with him because the baby's father was like a brother to him. The woman points out that this means that a government official's bother was killed over knowledge of the plan, which makes the statement much less reassuring than intended.
• The Big Bang Theory:
  • When Leonard and Howard try to pick up girls, but are unsuccessful:
    Howard: You're weighing me down! I'm a falcon who hunts better solo.
    Leonard: Fine, I'll sit here, you take flight and hunt.
    Howard: Don't be ridiculous, you can't just tell a falcon when to hunt!
    Leonard: Actually, you can. (beat) There's a whole sport built around it. (beat) Falconry.
  • In the season 3 episode "The Gothowitz Deviation" there's a following exchange:
    Leonard: I’m just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
    Sheldon: You can catch even more flies with manure. What’s your point?
  • In another episode the main four geeks were preparing to survive in the cold. Sheldon reminded them about how Han Solo saved Luke by cutting open the tauntaun in The Empire Strikes Back. Howard then tells Raj and Leonard to hold Sheldon down while he cuts him open.
  • In another episode, after a month-long trip to Antarctica as well as Sheldon learning that his friends falsified his report in an attempt to "prove" his theory, the latter being deeply hurt by the action, Penny tried to cheer him up by citing how Kirk, in the Star Trek film, told Spock things he knew weren't true, like that Spock didn't care about his mom dying. This analogy didn't work, and had Sheldon breaking down further because, thanks to that Antarctica trip, he not only missed ComicCon, but also the new Star Trek film.
• Blackadder:
  • From the original series, The Black Adder:
    Percy: You know, they do say that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful than the famous Stone of Galveston.
    [Edmund questions Percy minutely regarding what he knows of both, leading to this conclusion]
    Blackadder: So, what you're telling me, Percy, is that something you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen.
  • In Blackadder Goes Forth, on Charlie Chaplin:
    Baldrick: He's as funny as a vegetable which has grown into a rude and amusing shape, sir.
    Blackadder: So you agree with me: not at all funny.
  • In Blackadder Goes Forth, the interrogation of a suspected German spy:
    Darling: Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria!
    Blackadder: So your father's German, you're half-German, and you married a German?^note Actually, Victoria's mother was German.
• In Bottom, when Richie and Eddie are on a camping holiday, and Richie is bemoaning the difficulties they're facing:
  Richie: Honestly! Alexander the Great never had this trouble!
  Eddie: Yeah well, he wasn't a complete dickhead, was he?
• Done excellently in the Boy Meets World episode where Topanga moves to Pittsburgh. Since Cory is reading Romeo and Juliet at the time, he keeps proclaiming that he and Topanga will be fine just like them... until Mr. Feeny tells him to skip ahead to the end.
• Breaking Bad:
  • Jesse is somewhat prone to this, since he's smart but not overly educated:
    Jesse: What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?
    Badger: Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.
    Skinny Pete: True dat. Two o' dem bitches.
    Badger: ...Just sayin'. Devil's advocate.
    • Though Skinny Pete and Badger are actually the ones with the backfiring analogy here, since Darth Vader was an high ranking agent of the Empire (in other words, the establishment) and the Rebel Alliance were the actual "outlaws" of that universe.
  • Near the end of Season 3, Mike tells Walter about a scumbag wife-beater that he let off the hook, taking a "half measure" that ended in tragedy. He tells this story in the hopes of convincing Walt not to take a half-measure that would end poorly for him. Walt takes the story to heart in a way Mike never intended, and takes the full-measure decision of saving Jesse from dealers in his druglord employer's payroll by killing them.
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
  • When Captain Holt is about to evaluate the detective squad, Sgt. Jeffords proclaims that he feels like "a proud mama hen watching her chicks learn to fly". Holt points out that chickens are notoriously bad at flying.
  • Detective Peralta is a pretty clever but Book Dumb guy, and so tends to come out with these. Such as this example:
    Sgt. Jeffords: Why are you being so crazy about this case?
    Peralta: Because I wanted to work the toughest case we had! It would feel awesome to solve it. Because a real man doesn't run from a challenge. I mean, do they run from the bulls in Pamplona?
    Sgt. Jeffords: Yeah. That's the whole point of it.
    Peralta: Seriously? That seems lame.
  • The Romeo and Juliet example is lampshaded as well:
    Peralta: We can make this work! We're Romeo and Juliet!
    Sophia: It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a tragic double suicide.
    Peralta: That's how it ends? Why do people like it so much?
  • From Game of Boyles:
  Jake: Being a Boyle is about more than blood. It's what's in your heart!
  Charles: Blood is what's in your heart.
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  • Anya does this all by herself due to her natural Brutal Honesty, when Dawn thinks she might be a potential superhero.
    Dawn: Everything's different for me now.
    Anya: That's because you're a part of something larger. Like being swallowed. By something larger.
    [Dawn flees upstairs]
    Xander: Nice job with the "getting swallowed" analogy.
    Anya: Well, it is a mixed bag, you know. If she gets to be the Slayer, then her life is short and brutal. And if she doesn't, then it smells of unfulfilled potential. My swallowed analogy looks pretty sweet right now, doesn't it?
  • Xander tells the Potentials they're as safe as houses. Everyone looks at the boarded-up window from the last time a demon broke into their house.
• In season 7 of Canada's Worst Driver, it takes Jon a moment to realize the full implications of calling something "better than sex".
  Jon: [hanging his head out of a fast-moving car] This is better than sex!
  Elise: [his fiancée] Oh, I agree.
  Jon: Hey!
• Doubling up with Insult Backfire, the eponymous protagonist of Castle was once compared to Nancy Drew, to which he replied:
  Castle: Is that supposed to be an insult? Because Nancy Drew solved every case.
• In Charmed, "The Seven Year Witch":
  Drake: The point is, Leo and Piper's love, it's epic, it's massive. It's Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra... Brad and Jennifer.
  Piper: All tragedies, I might add.
• On The Cosby Show, Cliff once compares himself to Old Yeller, who protected the family. His wife points out that Old Yeller was shot.
• The Brit Com Coupling has done this several times. Usually with Jeff making an analogy and then Patrick translates into something that makes even less sense.
  • One episode subverts the concept when Susan wonders why the only reason her boyfriend Steve suggests to Jeff not to cheat on his girlfriend is 'it might be a trick':
    Steve: It was the only thing. It was just like the deterrent..You know like nuclear weaponry. I mean nobody likes it but can help to keep the peace.
    Susan: Steve, you just compared our relationship to the Cold War.
    Steve: Which may I remind you, really lasted!
• The Crown: In "Gunpowder", Diana expresses second thoughts about doing a BBC interview. The reporter, Martin Bashir, notes that she chose November 5th as the interview date (because everyone else would be out celebrating Guy Fawkes Night) and tries to use that as leverage to persuade her:
  Bashir: The thirteen members of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605 also almost pulled out at the last minute and it took the ringleader to encourage them to stick with it.
  Diana: Maybe he shouldn’t have! Not only were they unsuccessful, they were hung, drawn and quartered!
• CSI: on finding an intact brain several metres from the victim's head, Greg remarks "it's hard to crack an egg without breaking the yolk". Greg is either bad at making analogies, or really bad at cracking eggs.
• The Daily Show:
  • When discussing changing racial demographics in America:
    Larry Wilmore: That's what happens when you have a melting pot. The stew gets darker.
    Jon Stewart: Unless, of course, you're talking about a Tuscan stew, which uses white beans.
    Wilmore: But the stew still gets darker.
    Stewart: Unless, and I don't want to split hairs here, but there could be some kind of a cream base-
    Wilmore: What's up with you, Emeril? Did you miss lunch?
  • Mainstream Republicans showed the Tea Party coalition a clip from The Town to gain their support, which is pretty weird choice in itself, given the pitch: "I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're going to hurt some people," but Jon then examines the characters' roles in the rest of the film.
    "Hey! You know the violent unstable borderline sociopath from The Town, who's useful in a pinch but whose suicidal single-minded mania will ultimately be his downfall? That's you guys. And the guy who's stuck in an uneasy alliance with you but doesn't really like you and ultimately saves himself by walking away from you as you are dying? That's us. So. Do we have your vote?" I'm going to assume that most of the Tea Party coalition has not seen the whole movie.
• A rare deadpan comic turn from George Hearst, Deadwood's resident Big Bad with No Sense of Humor, to a sycophantic associate;
  Hearst: Are you sayin' you wanna fuck me?
  Jarry: What.
  Hearst: You keep calling yourself Alcibiades to my Socrates. Are you suggesting some sort of homosexual connection between us?
  Jarry: I forgot that part of the story.
• In Diagnosis: Murder episode "Murder in the Courthouse", Dr. Mark Sloan is on a jury. Mark tells the other jurors that there is doubt. One of them describes a patient with obvious seeming lung cancer, and asks Mark: "Don't you know it's cancer?" Mark replies that he suspects it's cancer, then he orders the right tests so he knows beyond reasonable doubt that it is cancer.
• Dinosaurs: In "Hungry For Love", when Robbie considers breaking up with Wendy, the daughter of Mr. Richfield, over the rumors that she might eat him, Fran tells Robbie not to listen to those rumors. She tells Robbie that when she was dating Earl, her friends told her that Earl was lazy, had no ambition, and would remain a tree pusher all his life. She then asks Robbie if her friends were right, to which Robbie is reluctant to answer. Fran then realizes that it was a bad example and that she should have listened to her friends.
• Doctor Who:
  • "City of Death": This exchange between Romana and hard-nosed cop Duggan:
    Romana: You should go into business with a glazier. You would have a very symbiotic relationship.
    Duggan: What's that supposed to mean?
    Romana: I merely meant that you tend to leave a lot of broken glass behind.
    Duggan: You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
    Romana: If you made an omelet, I'd expect to find a pile of broken crockery, a cooker in flames, and an unconscious chef!
  • "Voyage of the Damned": The Doctor finds himself on a spaceship called the Titanic. (Although it turns out that the name might have been intentional.):
    The Doctor: Titanic. Um... who... thought of the name?
    Host: Information: It was chosen as the most famous vessel of the planet Earth.
    The Doctor: ...Did they tell you why it was famous?
• Subverted in Dollhouse, one of Echo's engagements had her as a safe cracker. When asked by her partners why they never heard of her if she's so good, she asks if they've ever heard of Bonnie and Clyde. Thinking she messed up the analogy, they pounce on the 'mistake' — only to have her counter the counter. Bonnie and Clyde were famous and ended up dead, because being well-known is the mark of terrible criminal, not a good one.
• In the Ellen episode "What's Up, Ex-Doc?", Spence tries to explain to his father why he's giving up on his medical career, using an analogy about messing up a recipe and having to throw it out and start again. His father, who's a baker, points out that there is a very simple fix to the situation he describes that would save the mixture.
• Los Espookys: Andrés' parents take complete control of his finances to convince him to marry Juan Carlos, calling it a Britney Spears type situation. When Andrés makes the same comparison to his friends, Úrsula points out that it's not really the same thing because Britney Spears earned her own money, whereas all of Andrés' money comes from his parents in the first place.
• In Falling Skies, the protagonist is a former history teacher in a world six months after an Alien Invasion. He is captured by a gang of racist outlaws, and their leader strikes up a conversation with him. The outlaw thinks the protagonist is stupid for thinking the aliens can be defeated (they have already wiped out most of the major cities and much of the population of Earth). The protagonist compares this invasion to many others throughout our history where the locals have managed to repel the invaders, specifically referencing The American Revolution. The outlaw is quick to point out that this analogy is very wrong given the enormous technological and numerical gap between the "skitters" and humans. His analogy is more appropriate, that of Native Americans defending against invading Europeans with a much smaller success rate.
• Fargo: In the second season premiere, Judge Mundt compares herself to Job from the Bible when dealing with opposition that could make her life miserable as she states that being stubborn can work out for her in spite of whatever ruins her life. Too bad that Satan ruining Job's life and her unwilling to unfreeze Skip's accounts are vastly different and unlike Job, she gets killed over it.
• Father Ted:
  Dougal: You might as well say that The Phantom of the Opera doesn't exist.
  Ted: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA DOES NOT EXIST!
• Full House: In "The Seven Month Itch, Part One", Stephanie becomes upset when the Tanner Family's vacation to Disneyland gets cancelled due to heavy fog. When D.J. tries to cheer her up, this exchange occurs:
  D.J.: I know what it's like not to get what you want. Remember when I was supposed to do that Oat Boats cereal commercial and you got it instead?
  Stephanie: Uh-huh.
  D.J. Well, what did I do? Did I mope?
  Stephanie: No, you chased me around the kitchen and tried to kill me.
  D.J.: Okay, bad example.
• Game of Thrones:
  • Cersei Lannister tries to explain the impending invasion by Stannis Baratheon to her young son by using a story about a lion who was meant to be king being menaced by an evil stag in a forest. Tommen is quick to point out that stags aren't evil, and are herbivores. If there's a fight between a lion and a stag, it's presumably the lion that started it.
  • When Ned confronts Cersei about her twincest with Jaime, she responds that the Targaryens did the same thing for centuries—you know, the family that produced the Mad King...even more of a backfire when Joffrey turns out to be more like Aerys than anyone would have thought. She later realizes and laments this backfire in Season 2 when she confesses to Tyrion how sad she is that Joffrey turned out like he did. But, as Tyrion points out, she may have actually beaten the odds the Targaryens confronted (that every other Targaryen goes mad), in that two of her three children by incest are actually extremely decent people.
  • Qyburn defends his vivisection of living men For Science!, with the justification that his work saves more than it kills. He points out that Jaime has also killed many people, and asks how many he's saved. Jamie immediately replies "Five hundred thousand".
  • Melisandre attempts to explain the concept of her sacrificial victims' transcendence by comparing it to childbirth: pain and suffering followed by joy. Shireen points out that mothers aren't piles of ash and bone afterward.
• Garth Marenghis Darkplace:
  She was like a candle in the wind... unreliable.
• In Gilmore Girls, Paris volunteers to temporarily run the Yale Daily News, despite an earlier, disastrous run as editor. One of the staff says it would be like giving Captain Bligh another ship after he lost the Bounty. Paris immediately retorts that Bligh was given multiple commands afterward and was ultimately promoted to Rear Admiral. He was a good commander and the British Navy didn't blame him for the actions of mutineers.
• In one Happy Days episode, Richie suggests escaping from a predicament by disguising themselves in women's clothes. Fonzie balks, arguing that Davy Crockett could have escaped from the Alamo that way but instead stuck it out. However, he concedes the point when Richie points out that Crockett died at the Alamo.
• In one episode of Hogan's Heroes, when Major Hochstetter derides Colonel Klink for being asleep while a bridge was being blown up, Klink retorts that some of the greatest military minds were sound sleepers, such as Napoleon.
  Hochstetter: Oh? He must've had a wonderful nap at Waterloo.
• Home and Away: After being introduced to the new Summer Bay High principal Barry Hyde, Jade jokes that he should be named Jekyll. Max launches into what he thinks is an impersonation of Dr. Jekyll, realising too late that Barry is behind him. Barry gives Max another day of detention and tells them to read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde more carefully. "Dr. Jekyll was the good one. I am Mr. Hyde, the evil one. And I never. Change. Back." Nevertheless, the nickname Jekyll sticks for a long time afterwards.
• In one episode of Home Improvement, Tim has some of his friends over to help put in his hot rod's engine. Unfortunately, in an attempt to play matchmaker for her newly single friend, Jill stays at the house with her friends and ends up turning the evening into a party, preventing work from being done on the engine, much to Tim's chagrin. We then get this exchange:
  Tim: How would you feel if you planned a wedding shower for three months, then the night of the wedding shower, I bring all the guys over to watch football?
  Jill: That happened, Tim!
  Tim: And you didn't like it, did ya?
• When Dana and her boyfriend run away together in the third season of Homeland, one of the characters thinks it's harmless and kind of romantic, comparing them to Romeo and Juliet. Carrie Mathison, played by Claire Danes, points out the obvious fault in that analogy.
• House:
  • Dr. House loves to use farfetched metaphors in his practice, so his colleagues frequently try to imitate him, only to usually backfire:
    Lisa Cuddy: She's already on a respirator, the machine is breathing for her... I can do whatever I want to her lungs. If you're playing catch in the living room and you break your mother's vase, you might as well keep playing catch. The vase is already broken!
    James Wilson: Except, that room can't breathe without that vase.
  • In "All In", the team only have one chance left to save a boy's life:
    House: Mighty Casey is down to his last strike.
    Foreman: Mighty Casey struck out.
• How I Met Your Mother:
  Lily: Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap.
  Marshall: You're right. You're absolutely right. I love you, Lily.
  Lily: Metaphorical leap!
• In The Last of Us, Bill refuses to give Frank some of his food because then he'll tell every bum he meets about it and "This is not an Arby's." Frank replies that Arby's is a restaurant that didn't give out free food either.
• In Lost in Austen, Bingley, who thinks Amanda is a lesbian, steers his attentions towards Jane. Darcy does not see this as being anything resembling "love" (as Bingley was previously consumed with Amanda), but Bingley remains steadfast:
  Bingley: I am invulnerable, like Ajax.
  Darcy: Ajax cut his own throat in a fit of pique.
  • Bingley eventually becomes rather nervous around Amanda, leading Jane to marry Collins...which drives Bingley to drink.
• In the MacGyver episode "Hell Week", MacGyver chastises the professor of his Alma Mater for over-pressuring his own son into succeeding. The professor justifies it with the analogy "Pressure turns coal into diamond". When said son suffers an emotional breakdown for allegedly losing a contest (one of the other students cheated) and threatens the campus with a bomb, MacGyver points out a flaw in the professor's analogy:
  MacGyver: "Pressure turns coal into diamond", is that it?
  Professor: Yes, that's a physical fact.
  MacGyver: Pressure can also crush it to dust!
• In Malcolm in the Middle, when the principal at Francis's Military School is cutting their TV privileges, he tries to rally the others to resist.
  Francis: Come on, guys, let's stand up. This will be our Alamo!
  [the other guys just look at him]
  Francis: Okay, bad example.
• In Mann & Machine, Mann tells Eve, "The course of one's life is about as predictable as the weather." Eve replies, "My point precisely. With modern technology, one can predict meteorological conditions with amazing precision."
• Perennial loser Al Bundy of Married... with Children was prone to both this and Metaphorgotten, but possibly the crowning glory for the simplicity of it all:
  Al: Just remember. "Al" is the first word in "Alamo".
  Peg: Honey, we lost the Alamo.
• M*A*S*H:
  • Some examples:
    Major Burns: How come he gets the cowboys, while I'm stuck with the Indians?
    Colonel Potter: I'm one-fourth Cherokee.
    Major Burns: Oh. How.
  • In another example, a patient is claiming to be Jesus Christ. Colonel Flagg shows up, wanting the soldier either in combat or imprisoned for faking.
    Colonel Potter: It takes more than a sound body to make a stallion run. It takes a sound heart, and a sound mind.
    Colonel Flagg: It also takes a rider who's not afraid to go to the whip!
  • In "Five O'Clock Charlie", General Clayton defends his decision to have an ammunition dump placed near the MASH.
    Clayton: Oh, it's classic, Henry. The ammo dump, the road. Store material near hospitals so the enemy will leave it alone. Learned it from the Germans.
    Hawkeye: Great. Now we're taking lessons from the losers.
• The Mighty Boosh: "You cannot make milk into cheese!"
• Misfits has a rare positive example: Rudy tries to brush away someone's optimism with "That's what they said about the Apollo 13!" The Apollo 13 crew did come out okay!
• In one episode of Mister Ed where Ed wants a shower installed in his stall:
  Ed: Trigger has a shower and a sunken bathtub.
  Wilbur: When you make as much money as Trigger, I'll buy you a swimming pool.
• In one episode of Mock the Week, Frankie Boyle discusses Sarah Palin's pitbull analogy:
  The lesson is, keep the analogy short. "I'm like a pitbull, I'm tenacious." Yeah, that's good. "I'm like a pitbull, if you leave me in the room with a child I'll kill them." NO, PALIN! Keep the analogy short! "Once I get a hold of you you're gonna have to stick a finger up my arse to make me let go." NO, PALIN!
• In the pilot episode of Monk, Monk reveals to mayoral candidate Warren St. Claire that his campaign manager Gavin Lloyd arranged to have St. Claire's bodyguard killed to cover up his embezzlement.
  Warren (to Gavin): And you called yourself my Moses.
  Monk: Like the real Moses, he won't be joining you in the promised land.
• The Muppet Show:
  • The pitch reel compares it to Jim Henson's and George Schlatter's respective previous work, such as Sesame Street, Laugh In ... and Turn-On. It went on the promise that the names of the executives would be household words, like "toilet."
  • This exchange between Rowlf and George Burns:
    Rowlf: Oh listen, I can play in any key. I'm another Jascha Heifetz.
    George Burns: Jascha Heifetz played the violin.^note For those unfamiliar with the show, Rowlf plays the piano.
    Rowlf: No one'll know the difference, George.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000:
  • In the Space Mutiny episode, the hero lambasts his love interest for putting herself in danger to save him from the evil forces who have mounted a nearly-successful takeover of the ship.
    Rider: I wish your father could control you as well as he does this ship!
    Crow: You mean have a mutiny on me?
  • In the Avalanche episode, they make a joke at the expense of pro skier Bruce Scott as he's being interviewed by a news crew.
    Bruce: I ski like I talk, or breathe, or make love.
    Servo: Unconvincingly?
• My Family:
  • In an episode, Ben learns his daughter was nearly assaulted by a member of royalty she had been set up with on a blind date. He compares the situation with the opera "Don Giovanni" where the titular lecherous noble was impaled with a sword by the father of a girl he tried to rape. However, Susan (who convinced Ben into listening to Don Giovanni in the first place) corrects him, saying it was Don Giovanni who killed the father. Cue Ben having an utterly hilarious look on his face for about a minute.
  • A variant from the first episode has a perfectly valid analogy being used by someone who missed the point of it and thus screws it up. Ben's assistant Brigitte criticises him for not making the time to treat his own family, comparing him to the the story of the cobbler's children who had no food. When Ben corrects her, she replies, "That makes no sense, their dad was a cobbler."
• Narcos: When Pablo and Gustavo discuss what they are going to do with all the money their cocaine trafficking has brought in, Pablo suggests laundering it like Al Capone did. Gustavo points out that Capone is a terrible analogue - not because he was eventually caught and convicted for it, but because he never had as much money as they do now.
• Nash Bridges: In "One Flew Over a Cuda's Nest", promising to tutor restless Evan on the upcoming written tests, Harvey offers a comparison: taking those has a formula, like getting a woman in a sack. Evan points out that in that case the tutoring should be the other way around, and Harvey doesn't argue.
• On Nikita, Birkhoff catches himself:
  "You're [Nikita and Michael] meant to be. You're like Bonnie and Clyde. [Beat] ...except without the last scene."
• Joe on NewsRadio insists on making his own components for every device he fixes rather than buy "any of that mass-produced garbage." When an impatient Bill asks Joe to just give up and buy the piece in question, Joe answers, "Did Thomas Edison give up?" Bill points out that "Thomas Edison wasn't trying to invent something that was readily available in a variety of stores near his home."
• In one episode of NUMB3RS, the local Homeland Security office refuses to cancel a series of safety drills that have been the target of terrorist threats. When Megan tries to talk it over with one of the high-ranking officers, the following exchange occurs.
  Homeland Security: We stop the drills now, it's like turning the Titanic.
  Megan: The Titanic hit an iceberg.
• In The O.C., Ryan tried to convince his girlfriend Lindsay to patch things up with her estranged father:

  Ryan: Alright, look. Luke Skywalker was happy to find his dad, right? Even if he turned out to be Darth Vader.
  Lindsay: Ryan, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader fought each other with lightsabers until one of them died.

  • Later, there was this exchange:
    Kirsten: Well didn't you use that Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader thing?
    Ryan: She poked a serious hole in that analogy.
  • Considering if Luke didn't make the reconciliation attempt he would have neither been able to redeem his father, and more importantly, would have died at the hands of the Emperor, hadn't his father come to save him, maybe that should be an example of a backfire of an analogy backfire.
• In The Office (US), Michael's analogies almost always backfire, but in one case he backfired (executive) Ryan's when Ryan wanted him to leave designing the ad to the advertising professionals:
  Ryan: It's not part of your job. It's like, maybe you can cook, but that doesn't mean you should start a restaurant.
  Michael: Well, actually I can't cook and I am starting a restaurant: Mike's Cereal Shack.
• Our Flag Means Death: On the day of their marriage, the priest made a speech to Stede Bonnet and his wife about how they are meant to be lighthouses, guiding each other through the night. As Edward says, this is a terrible speech, since you are actually to veer away from lighthouses, not towards them, their job is to warn ships about dangerous terrain that can trap or harm ships.
• In Parks and Recreation, Andy, being a ditz, tries to compliment April with one of these. April, being April, doesn't skip a beat:
  Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings!
  April: So like a person.
• The Prisoner (1967): In "Hammer into Anvil", a particularly ruthless Number Two quotes Goethe's proverb "You must be Anvil or Hammer" in a confrontation with Number Six. After some prompting from Six, it becomes clear that he has no idea what he's talking about and in fact has the metaphor completely backwards: He proudly proclaims himself the "Hammer" to Six's "Anvil", but in blacksmithing, no matter how many times the hammer strikes the anvil, it is the hammer that breaks first.
• In a Quantum Leap episode, Sam warns a mobster that he could end up like Jimmy Hoffa, but since at the time of the story, Hoffa wasn't famous for being whacked, the mobster replies something like, "You mean become head of the teamsters?" and takes that as a positive goal.
• In the British Queer As Folk about the homosexual Platonic Life-Partners Vince and Stuart:
  Hazel: You two are like a married couple these days.
  Stuart: Except that we never have sex.
  Hazel: Like I said, married couple.
• In one episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Sabrina needs to find a way to bring back Christmas after she accidentally erased it;
  Sabrina: I gotta find someone, anyone in this world that still remembers Christmas!
  Salem: How about Father Christmas?
  Sabrina: Is he real?
  Salem: As real as actual Christmas. I guess right now that's not such a good example.
• An extended one in Scrubs season five, when Elliot quickly loses her new job at a different hospital, and refuses help from her friends. Carla maintains the opinion they have to help her. When Turk says Elliot didn't want their help, Carla comes with an analogy about JD refusing help, and Turk immediately finds a reason why JD wouldn't want their help. And it only goes south from there. For the record, Elliot really didn't want help and managed to get her old job back by herself, so Turk's initial point was valid.
  Carla: Guys, listen. We really need to help Elliot.
  Turk: Baby, she said she didn't want to be helped.
  Carla: If JD were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, would you do it?
  Turk: That depends: what if there are hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he'd want one of them to jump in and save him.
  Carla: Let's say there's no women.
  Turk: There's always women at the pool, baby.
  Carla: Fine, he's in a pond.
  JD: Oh, I would never swim in a pond. They're infamous for serpents.
  Turk: You could swim at the Y[MCA] on tuesdays, men only.
  JD: Have you been to the Y on men night? Not me...
  Carla: Okay fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!
  Turk: (insulted) Oh, so now a brother can't swim!
  JD: Why did you have to go there?
  Carla: Oh my God!
• Seinfeld:
  Jerry: I just think if you borrow my blender, you should return it!
  Kramer: Well, what's the difference? Come on, we're like Cain and Abel!
  Jerry: Yeah, you know Cain slew Abel.
  Kramer: No he didn't, they were in business together! Drywall or something.
• In the Smallville episode "Reckoning", Chloe notes that Clark and Lana are practically like Ken and Barbie... then as an afterthought, adds that the producers broke them up later.
• Smart Guy:
  • In "Trial and Error", when Mo is accused of setting the school science lab on fire, he begs for TJ to help him saying he has to believe he didn't do it.
    TJ: Why?
    Mo: Cause you have the wide-eyed innocence of a child. Kids can always see the truth.
    TJ: Since when?
    Mo: Since always! Like in that Frankenstein movie. That little girl in the woods? She was the only one who knew that Frankenstein was sweet and innocent. She gave him a flower.
    TJ: Then he killed her and threw her in the lake.
    Mo: Okay. But what about that baseball guy, Shoeless Joe? They accused him of throwing the World Series but that little kid believed in him. He looked up and said, "Say it ain't so, Joe."
    TJ: But it was so, and they banned him from baseball.
  • In "TJ Versus the Machine", when TJ is about to go up against Socrates, an undefeated chess-playing computer, Floyd tries to inspire him by mentioning how John Henry beat the steam shovel. TJ then mentions that John Henry's heart exploded as a result.
    Floyd: Don't push yourself so hard.
• Spaced: Tim's justification for getting back with his ex-girlfriend by comparing it to Daisy's desire for a holiday meets a snag.
  Tim: This is something that I've always wanted! You have things you want — you're always going on about going to Asia and seeing the Taj Mahal.
  Daisy: I do want to go to Asia! I do want to see the Taj Mahal! The difference is, the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with its boss behind my back and break my heart!
  Tim: Yeah, well... it might if you go to Asia.
• In a Lower-Deck Episode of Stargate SG-1, Felger says, "We're kinda like the intellectual Butch and Sundance of the SGC," to which Samantha replies, "Butch and Sundance got cornered and killed by the Bolivian Army."
• Star Trek: The Next Generation:
  • In the episode "The Best of Both Worlds", Picard, shortly before being abducted and assimilated by the Borg, has this conversation with Guinan:
    Guinan: Trouble sleeping?
    Picard: It's something of a tradition, Guinan — Captain touring the ship before a battle.
    Guinan: Hmm. Before a hopeless battle, if I remember the tradition correctly.
    Picard: Not necessarily. Nelson toured the HMS Victory before Trafalgar.
    Guinan: Yes, but Nelson never returned from Trafalgar, did he?
    Picard: No, but the battle was won.
  • On the other hand, Picard averts this in "Hide and Q" when quoting Hamlet:
    Picard: Oh, I know Hamlet. And what he might say with irony, I say with conviction: "What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form, in moving, how express and admirable! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god!"
    Q: Surely, you don't see your species like that, do you?
    Picard: I see us one day becoming that, Q. Is that what concerns you?
• In the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Year of Hell", Paris comes up with an upgrade for the badly-damaged Voyager which was inspired by the Titanic. Janeway points out the obvious flaw: "As I recall, it sank." In all fairness, what he was describing (the ability to seal off sections of the ship) was a measure first utilized on the Titanic, and improved and implemented on virtually all ships built afterward. Paris is also quick to assure Janeway that while they were inspired by the theory, they're aware of the flaws of the original and have improved the concept significantly. ^note It's also worth noting that some of the flaws with the original Titanic design were specific to the mechanics of a ship taking on water, and wouldn't apply in space.
• That '70s Show:
  • Kelso thinks about what it would be like to have no parents.
    Kelso: Man, having no parents would be cool. Like the Lord of the Flies!
    Eric: Kelso, did you ever finish Lord of the Flies?
    Kelso: ...no.
  • Jackie is trying to make a list of what she would find in the perfect guy. Donna points out that she basically described Fez. Jackie scoffs at the idea, and describes herself as "Beauty" and Fez as "the Beast". Donna then reminds her that Beauty and the Beast got together in the end.
• Analogies often backfire in The Thick of It, and most spectacularly in the Drama Bomb episode where Malcolm gets fired. The script features a running theme of theatre-related metaphors:
  Marianne Swift: Malcolm, we get it, you're still the star of the show.
  Malcolm Tucker: Warm them up, tell them Olivier's on his way but in the meantime here's An Audience With Peter fuckin' Bowles... what happened, did you get heckled off?
  Steve Fleming: The show's over, it's curtains...
• Twice in the same episode of USA High when first Bobby tries to give Lauren a motivational speech and uses Vincent Van Gogh as an example... only to be reminded that he cut his ear off. Ashley then tries with this example.
  Ashley: I once fell off a horse and a man came up to me and said 'young lady, you better get right back on'. Of course this horse was on a merry-go-round...
• Utopia (2014): From "Terminal Problems":
  "What if we had given up at Gallipoli?"
  "We did."
• Vera: In "Young Gods", the headmaster of an exclusive private school refers to a group of students as "golden lads and girls". Later Joe points out to Vera that the poem she was quoting was actually about death and is typically read at funerals:
  "Golden lads and girls must all as chimney sweepers come to dust."
• An exchange between Bernard and Sir Humphrey in Yes, Prime Minister:
  Bernard: Well I can’t accept that, Sir Humphrey, no man is an island.
  Sir Humphrey: I agree, Bernard, no man is an island, entire of itself, and therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee, Bernard.
• Young Blades: When D'Artagnan says that a woman wears his compliments "like silk", Jacqueline points out that silk is spun by worms.
• Young Sheldon: In "A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult", after Missy is grounded, but wants to watch on her favorite TV show anyway:
  Missy: Even prisoners get to go out to the yard for an hour a day.
  George: Fair enough. There's the yard; knock yourself out.

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