Mo Mecha Mo Problems / AATAFOVS

Avatar And The Airbending Fellowship Of Vampire Slayers Episode Guide
recapper: Leliel

Season 3, Episode 13 (Finale). Preceded by Punishment, followed by Shadow Of A Bender.

The episode begins, well, the climax. Avatar is staring at a giant robotic snake in the burning remmnants of the Story Gate which is constricting around his friends. He attempts to hit it with a cobble-together Death Ray, but it blocks it with a wing. Its body then opens to reveal more missiles than should be possible. Avatar begins to run, but they easily follow him and bombard him. Having turned almost black, he painfully turns his face to the snake, which is now looming omniously above him.

Avatar: Why are you doing this, Leliel!?

Deep Voice: It is the only way...

Avatar: No it isn't! There's got to be a way other than war! You still have a chance to be a hero!

Leliel: Then why didn't ''you'' give ''her'' a chance? A chance of being a heroine? A chance of being something other than useless eye candy? Hypocrite...

Avatar:Look, I understand that what never giving Cleo a shot was horrible, and I know that. But please...you haven't lost the ability to look for forgiveness...

Leliel: *bitter laugh* *camera zooms in on the cockpit of the snake, revealing a winged silhouette* When I was younger, that sentiment would have touched me...But believe me, I've had more than enough of people telling me off from some higher moral authority, idiotic as those last three words sound to me now..."

We then see the snake's mouth opening, revealing a charging Wave-Motion Gun.

Leliel: And now that I am Older and Wiser, I realize now that there is nothing but the mission, and what I shall do to accomplish it. Be glad that this will only hurt an instant, although there has been pychological studies on The Undead that show that the more pain you are in, the longer time sees...actually, no, you have every reason to be angry at me for this.

'Male Voice: Eye Of Yog-Sototh is at full charge, Captain Leliel.

Leliel: Good! FIRE THE ELDRITCH REVELATION!

The cannon glows with bizarre hieroglyphics as it finishes charging, and it shoots a gargantuan black beam straight at Avatar...

And then it goes to the opening credits.

The actual episode begins with another message from Udite, saying that on the heroes' next mission, they should "Beware of the man who sees with wings, as he is wise in Things Man Was Not Meant to Know". Nerdly observes that he didn't direct them towards anything, meaning their next mission will "come to them". Avatar and Sue take this to heart, and decide to build up the bases' defenses.

Meanwhile, Naked Boss is embroiled in a practice fight with one of Dr. Myro's Kaiju...and is soundly defeated. After crawling out from the wreckage of the Plastic Gear, he confronts a disappointed Dr. Myro.

Dr. Myro: I don't get it. That T-rodon was only combine with DNA from Will Smith! I mean, he's a badass and all, but surely the Plastic Gear would have been up to the challenge...

Naked Boss: I know...It's the stupid design. They made the thing out of plastic, for crying out loud! How am I supposed to be a halfway competent Platonic ideal of the soldier if I can't even win!?

Dr. Myro: Hey, don't feel bad! Superhard plastics are used to augment the space shuttle, after all!

Naked Boss: We've encountered cargo ships with a harder hull then a space shuttle!

Dr. Myro: Don't worry...I'm sure all you need is a good power source...

Naked Boss: *face lights up* I just got an idea...Wait here. I've heard of someone over at TVTW that specializes in this kind of thing!

He runs off.

Dr. Myro: "...Glad I could be of unintentional service!"

After a bit of watching the antics of the heroes trying to put the base's defenses together, and philosophising on what it is to wait for something that you don't know the face of (and seeing Krystal as a Wrench Wench) we then cut to Naked Boss emerging in a forest area. After the unnatural silence of the area begins too freak him out, a group of Nightgaunts (yes, from H. P. Lovecraft) begin to fly at him from every conceivable direction, and even a few that aren't. After complaining about this later fact, he gets ready to fight...only for Leliel to call them off. He complains about this as well, and then follows the Nightgaunts to Leliel's Evil Tower of Ominousness.

Once inside, Naked Boss (and the viewers) see Leliel's full form for the first time and see that, yes, he has eyes on his wings. After lampshading the fact that the whole "sees with wings" thing was a bit literal (not knowing about the message-he just points out it's a common descriptor), he invites Naked Boss to his parlor, where he's made some Turkish Delight, and then guesses why Naked Boss came to him:

Leliel: I think you're thinking of how best to ask me to upgrade a mecha?

Naked Boss: It's called the Plastic Gear (don't laugh, I didn't name it). I heard that you're quite the expert on how to graft weapons on to robots.

Leliel: Along with thrusters, shields, armor, eldritch sorceries, satellite television...but I'm getting off the point. Yes, I am quite the master of gunnery. Your point being...?

Naked Boss: Well, I've realized that the Plastic Gear is never going to be a glutton for punishment (guess why), so I was thinking of making it a fragile but powerful artillery platform.

Leliel: Eye Of Yog-Sototh.

Naked Boss: "Gesundheit."

Leliel: Oh please, you're more intelligent than that. Anyway, the Eye is an extradimensional artifact I use to power my own mecha, the Mictlan. You see, I am quite the Technomancer-

Naked Boss: Shouldn't that be "Technurgist"?

Leliel: Yes, but "Technomancer" runs off the tongue better. As I was saying, I am quite the Technomancer, and I managed to figure out how to convert the energy output of alien gods into vast amounts of electricity for the Mictlan (the fact that said energy in its undiluted state is a Weapon of Mass Destruction is a complete coincidence I assure you). With it, you won't even need to refresh your ammo: a machine I installed into it automatically converts its energy into more ammunition.

He then goes to his desk and pulls out a black crystal, shaped like an eye.

Leliel: This crystal, the destroyer of empires, the black jewel of 144,000 sorrows, this terror I have harnessed, the Eye Of Yog Sototh, the angles of which you cannot comprehend, lest you go mad-

Naked Boss: It looks like a carved piece of onyx to me.

Leliel: Yes, it is onyx, but carved in ways that only three dimensions cannot handle-

Naked Boss: Just get to the point: What do I have to do to get it?

Leliel: Oh all right-my price is not one of material worth, but of a favor.

Naked Boss: The catch being...?

Leliel: It's not really a catch, just something you would have done anyway: After getting the Eye, I want you to raise havoc.

Naked Boss: The point being...?

Leliel: I could shut up now, but since you'll inevitably try to take me down if you find out the hard way: I want you to draw out the Vampbenders, for reasons that I do not feel like revealing. Not for long, just a half-hour or so-something that the Eye should allow you to do.

Naked Boss: Do I keep the Eye?

Leliel: Since it exists in multiple places at once (and thus, I have spares), even if you fail.

Naked Boss: Done!

Naked Boss gets up to leave after getting the Eye, but then he catches a glimpse of Leliel's computer screen.

Naked Boss: "Hey, what's that?"

Leliel: *turns red* "That's private!"

Naked Boss: "That just makes me more interested".

Leliel: *blocks view with wing* "You have what you came for, now leave.

Naked Boss: *shoves his way past* "Let's see here...scroll to title..."

Leliel: Nooo!

Naked Boss: "'An Ode To Metamorphosis. *reads for a second, then begins to smirk* "Hm...Hmhmhm...HOHOHO!"

Leliel: *steam begins to pour out as Naked Boss continues to laugh*

Naked Boss: "(snigger)...You have...(snigger)...a membership...(snigger)...in a system directory...(snigger)...to a bunch of Transformation Comics?"

Leliel: (quietly) "...it's better than being called "Naked Boss"...

Naked Boss: *laughs again* (singsong) "Leliel is a furry, Leliel is a furry...

Leliel: "P-please, can we stop that now? It's embarrassing..."

Naked Boss: "Hey...It's not the *snerk* furry sites, it's the fact that you don't fit the stereotype. It's funny 'cause it's ironic! Peace!" *begins to leave*

Leliel: "...At least I had the "adult content" filter on..."

Naked Boss: "I heard that!"

Leliel: ...You do realize the Nightgaunts are on standing orders to attack at my command?"

Naked Boss: "Alright, I'm leaving." *leaves, then pokes his head in the door* "I'll leave you and your wolf-suited girlfriend alone."

Leliel: "OUT!"

Still chuckling, Naked Boss goes to the portal, twirling the Eye in his hands.

We then cut back to Leliel, who has opened up an Internet video showing the Vampbenders finishing off a defensive cannon, as he muses to himself.

Leliel: Heh...I remember when I was like them once. Young, idealistic, in the belief that the people I called friends would not abandon me...But that was a long time ago. Even the body I had has been discarded, an unnecessary artifact that limited my powers to the merely extraordinary...

(Minimizes the window, pulls up a picture of a wingless him posing with his family).

Leliel: But for you, I must ensure that night never happens again. If I must destroy the Vampbenders so that they don't get in my way, so be it. No, I don't like it. But I have already put my ultimate plan into action, and if I quit now, all those who I have caused pain will have suffered for naught. Now they are riding on my mind as well, reminding me why I have to complete the mission. If I have my way, no one will ever be hurt by people like me again. An impossible dream, perhaps. But I still dream.

He gets up, then gives a wry smile.

Leliel: Funny how I can go from defending my prefernces in art to a self-examining speech, isn't it? Oh, you always found that strange...You always found that strange...

He then leaves the room, looking dejected.

We then cut to a Training Montage of the Plastic Gear one-shotting Dr. Myro's T-rodons, as the man himself looks more and more impressed. After we're done with that, he walks up to Naked Boss.

Dr. Myro: I would say that it looks like nothing can beat the PlasticGear with it's new weapons, but I know how that always ends, so I'm just going to say it has a signifigant chance of winning constantly.

Naked Boss: Hey, I have you to thank-were it not for you, I would have never gotten the idea to ask Leliel's help.

Dr. Myro: Well, no need to brag but-Wait A Minute. Leliel? As in, Leliel Nyxia Of TVTW?"

Naked Boss: I only got the first name in the "Mecha Upgrade" classifieds, but I assume that there's only one pseudo-angel with that name in TVTW; Leliel isn't the most common name in the Metaverse, I'd imagine. How do you know him?"

Dr. Myro: Leliel is one of the major contributers to the Science-Related Memetic Disorder Community Forums. He's the author of a number of editorials, where he has been repeatedly lauded for his unique perspective-namely, non-megalomaniac. About two months ago, he started to make claims that his Neo-Evolution plan had finally started-he has a notorious tendency to get distracted and forget about his projects until a couple weeks later, at least-but now, he seems to be focusing on it-though of course I don't know if he's actually making progress-he just says he is.

Naked Boss: Really? What's he planning on doing?

Dr. Myro: No one really knows, actually. He's quite clear about it "putting the reins of natural selection in humanity's hands", but beyond that, he's mum (another reason why he's notorious-he avoids gloating). We're pretty sure it ranks on the Scale Of Things Petty Moralists Hate About Scientists, but nobody is sure where. Just one thing though."

Naked Boss: "What?"

Dr. Myro: Don't say that man 'wasn't meant' to control his environment. He responds to criticism quite well, and even acknowledges that some of the things he does aren't as he says, but he'll unleash quite the tirade, and that's if you're his ally-Crystal Dragon Jesus help you if you're his enemy, and most people who say that are his enemies. There was this one Nature Hero who said that, and while he was going to kill her anyway-she was quite the hypocrite-he...well, let's just say it involved a scalpel, a Tome of Eldritch Lore, a pack of the Hounds of Tindalos, and a generous donation to the Institute For Healthy Time Travel.

Naked Boss:*thinks for a moment, then winces* "Ouch...Well, I'll keep that in mind."

Naked Boss then leaves, ready to pay off his debt to Leliel.

We then cut to a scene of the Vampbenders relaxing after completing the defenses, when sirens start blaring. Not at all surprised by this, the team turns on the Computer Voice on the base's defense system, leading to this dialogue.

Computer Voice: ATTENTION ALL BASE PERSONNEL: AN ENERGY SIGNATURE UNIQUE TO THE ENTITIES KNOWN AS THE DARK COUNCIL'S GATE NETWORK HAS BEEN DETECTED IN SECTOR 7-14-AA-UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-STARBOARD-PORT-B-A HAS BEEN DETECTED. PLEASE STAND BY WHILE METAVERSE PORTAL IS CHARGING.

Nerdly: Well, this is strange.

Solo: Yeah. I didn't know you could get so close to the Land of 30 Lives and not be swamped instantly.

Nerdly: No, I mean isn't it strange that we get a message from Udite that implies that we will be facing the enemy here, rather than somewhere that isn't anywhere close to us on the Gate Network?

Solo: Uh, Nerdly, how the heck can someone be close to us in the Metaverse?

Avatar: It's...complicated.

Krystal: Never mind that, the portal looks like it opened directly next to a city!

Sue: Then what are we waiting for? Let's kick the bastard's ass back into his own dimension!

Nerdly: Hold on. While I do agree that making the place Hold Out For A Hero is wrong, let's leave one of us here to help protect the Master Computer in case this turns out to be a distraction. In fact, leave two.

Solo: On it!

Krystal: I'll stay.

Avatar: OK. Nerdly, Sue, come with me.

They leave, and then come to a city that suspiciously looks like Tokyo (oddly enough), at which point the camera cuts to the sky, with the Plastic Gear hovering above.

Naked Boss: Ahahaha! Finally, the day of the soldier is upon us! The Dark Council will rule, and the truth that is violence will be shown to all who oppose us! Nothing Can Stop Us Now!!

The Plastic Gear then suddenly dodges a large blast of energy.

Naked Boss: Finally! I was tired of shouting out lame catchphrases!

Avatar: Well, guess your train to Hell isn't running on Amtrak, Naked Boss.

Sue: Er, when did we meet him?

Nerdly: You know, that comic where I met an evil clone of myself.

Sue: Oh! Sorry, I was pretending that didn't exist.

Avatar: OK, Self-Deprecation done. Why have you come here, Naked Boss?

Naked Boss: Did I need a reason? I'm a bad guy, for crying out loud!

Avatar: Of course. Since I'm out of good Pre Ass Kicking One Liners today, prepare for that cheap mecha of yours to be recycled!

He then charges up a shot of his Death Ray.

Nerdly: That's odd. He didn't try to lecture us this time...

As the group gets ready to battle, it cuts back to a smiling Leliel observing them through the computer.