While this series has proved popular, there is a vigorous fan campaign for books that are actually about the heroes of the show.
- Volume 1: Count Sinister Von Doomsday. E. R. Udite and the young Count Sinister were both students at an Oxbridge college, sometime between the wars, and the best of friends. Then they met Eve, a stunningly beautiful greengrocer's daughter with a fondness for apples. The two friends began to fight for her love, a conflict which began with wacky hijinks but rapidly escalated until their final battle reduced half a continent to molten slag. Along the way they discovered story gates, and had encounters with the ancestors of half the cast. At the end of the book, Eve leaves her child on a doorstep and joins a convent, Udite gets a cryptic message about his destiny, and Count Sinister enters the Citadel of Evil for the first time.
- Volume 7: Clive: Set five years before the show started, the book begins when Clive Bucket, a recently retired teacher, answers a cryptically phrased advert in the local newspaper, partly because he is bored, but mostly to get away from his wife. Clive thought the advert was for a slightly eccentric social club; it was actually the Dark Council, who had not intended to advertise. The whole thing had begun with a mix up in the post. When some minions are sent to visit Clive, they overhear him talking about garden pest control, and come to entirely the wrong conclusion. Clive is invited to join the council, and accepts, completely unaware of their true nature. He starts spending his days in the Citadel of Evil, commuting via a handy portal, where a serious of apparent coincidences reinforce his dark reputation. Eventually, he stumbles on the trut, just in time for the climactic dinner party, attended by three Evil Overlords, The Vicar, the local magistrate, two of Clive's ex-colleagues, and E. R. Udite. Hilarity Ensues as Clive struggles to prevent the Evil Overlords realising it's just a normal dinner party, and everyone else from realising that some of the guests aren't quite human. In the epilogue, we find Asmodeus, Udite, and Clive playing darts in the local pub, where they agree Clive can serve as a deniable communication channel between the two sides.
- Volume 13: Asmodeus: This book is set before the dawn of time, when the demon king Asmodeus was at war with an Eldritch Abomination from after the end of time, with all Hell as the prize. After several chapters of lovingly described carnage, the Time Travelling Trio (a teenage Merlin, a middle-aged Udite, and a very elderly Nerdly) crashland in the middle of the battlefield, immediately becoming the centre of convoluted plots. When all the double crosses are resolved, Asmodeus ends up holding the keys to the Citadel Of Evil, which was already incredibly old. This allows Asmodeus to win his war, just as the Time Travelling Trio planned.
- Volume 17: Achwskgdsidsfh: The unnamed first person narrator, a wisecracking P.I, is somewhat surprised when a squamous ichor-spewing tentacled monstrosity oozes through a door that isn't there and, communicating through a highly unpleasant form of telepathy, hires him to find some missing children, but the pay is good so he takes the case. After spending several days staking out likely likely victims he catches the kidnappers in the act: elves. They capture him, and take him to their dungeons, from where E. R. Udite rescues him, then explains what is really going on. The elves are using the children in unspeakable ways as part of their war of extermination against the eldritch abominations, a war the elves started to keep themselves amused. With Udite's help, the narrator breaks into the Citadel of Evil to acquire some impressive weaponry, then returns to Elfland, armed for battle. In the final climactic scene, Achwskgdsidsfh fights the full fury of The Wild Hunt, and loses, but its Heroic Sacrifice gives the narrator time enough to get all the children out, and 'it is not dead which can eternal lie' . . .
- Volume 23: Unspeakable Vile Evil Incarnate: Written by Arnold Erogal it focuses on Lord Blødmaw 735th Archduke of The Unblinking Eye. With its characterization of the archduke as a "person" who eats a kindergarten class and it's several random tangents to talk about how Cro-Magnons are the true Arian race and how the Father begot the Son. Some have claimed that it was written by some sort of political opponent. Focusing on how the archduke was born a poor black child ind Roman Carthage and various team ups through history with Sulla, Catiline, Atilla the Hun, Hitler, Stalin, Ultra-Hitler, Jean Kambanda and Saddam Hussein. And now he was in fact the same person Jack The Ripper, Dracula, and Neo-Ultra-Hitler. The Climax involves the archduke's vile and unspeakably horrible (though explicitly laid out) being thwarted by heroic Green Peace activists.
