| 1 | [[quoteright:349:[[ComicBook/SupermansPalJimmyOlsen https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/spjo_105.png]]]] |
| 2 | [[caption-width-right:349:[[Website/{{Superdickery}} Take a thousand shots]]. Hope you enjoy the cirrhosis.]] |
| 3 | |
| 4 | From the diary of [[Franchise/{{Superman}} James Bartholomew Olsen]]: |
| 5 | |
| 6 | ''"Dear Diary,'' |
| 7 | |
| 8 | ''I became Turtle Boy today. I was better than last time; I only fell on my shell once and a nice man was there to flip me over. I don't know quite what set it off -- the [[GreenRocks radioactive meteorite]] I was investigating or that [[AppliedPhlebotinum mystical talisman]] my girlfriend gave me.'' |
| 9 | |
| 10 | ''It was certainly better than yesterday: a combination of Omega Radiation and a kryptonite candle turned me into Melting Lad. I really [[WesternAnimation/ActionLeagueNow don't understand how]] [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway melting is a superpower]], but I was a puddle for half the day. Franchise/{{Superman}} had to use his [[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands super-sculpting skills]] to put my atomic structure back together. I have to remember to get him something good for his birthday. Maybe a tie?'' |
| 11 | |
| 12 | ''Well, tomorrow is a new day. Let's hope I don't get any more weird or wacky powers -- I don't know how much I can handle, to be honest. It's never just super-strength or flight, it's always something weird, like [[ContagiousPowers lycanthropy]] or becoming super-fat (again, ''how'' is that a superpower?).'' |
| 13 | |
| 14 | ''Tomorrow looks to be better, though, diary. I only have one assignment with Ms. Lane: to photograph STAR Labs' new particle decelerator. [[TemptingFate Here's hoping there are no mishaps]].'' |
| 15 | |
| 16 | ''Until tomorrow,''\ |
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