Line #78 Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S11E10WizardsOfTheLostKingdom


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mst_wiz.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:"Check in the car! Did you guys leave it in the car?"]]
3
4	->'''Kinga Forrester:''' Jonah, your experiment is a fantasy quest full of magic and whiny brats, in which the most charismatic character... is a hat.\
5	'''TV's Son of TV's Frank:''' I'll tell you who was living in a fantasy world--the people who thought they were making a watchable movie!
6
7	Film Featured: ''Film/WizardsOfTheLostKingdom.''
8
9	!!The Segments:
10	[[AC:Prologue]]
11	* Max asks his journal how to make Kinga reciprocate his love. He also finds a giant key, which fits perfectly into a giant keyhole in Moon 13's wall--and which controls a giant metal serpent in the ceiling.
12
13	[[AC:Segment 1]]
14	* Invention exchange time. Jonah invents Verbal Smoke Bombs--excuses and non-sequiturs guaranteed to end any awkward conversation. Kinga invents the Sponsor Clock, by selling the rights to name every hour of the day to major brands.
15
16	[[AC:Segment 2]]
17	* Jonah and the bots speculate about how Kor earned his title "The Conqueror."
18
19	[[AC:Segment 3]]
20	* Inspired by the movie, Tom Servo tries to summon an army of zombies. Jonah the Conqueror sings a song to remind Tom to be a little more patient. Puberty metaphors abound.
21
22	[[AC:Segment 4]]
23	* Jonah and the bots reply to more fan mail: a drawing of Tom Servo with a massive head, wondering where everyone else is, and another drawing of the whole SOL crew trapped in...mind prisons?
24
25	[[AC:Segment 5]]
26	* Jonah and the bots advertise the official ''Wizards of the Lost Kingdom'' Suicide Cave play set. Kinga and Max ominously foreshadow that this film... has a sequel...
27
28	----
29	!!Tropes featured in the [=MST3K=] presentation of ''Film/WizardsOfTheLostKingdom'':
30
31	* AccidentalHero: Jonah and the bots suggest that this is how Kor became known as "the Conqueror" despite being a doughy drunk.
32	-->'''Jonah:''' Maybe he's been the beneficiary of a lot of bizarre coincidences, like, you know, he was fighting a dragon and then the dragon had an aneurysm.
33	-->'''Crow:''' Or he was attacked by a forest troll who then fell into a stream and drowned.
34	* TheAlcoholic: Hardly a stretch, since wine appears to be Kor's only motivation. Jonah and the bots crack a few jokes about calling Kor's Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor.
35	* AndIMustScream: The princess hypocritically gets annoyed with the statue that Simon brings to life to impress her:
36	-->'''Crow ''(imitating the statue)'':''' Kill me! Kill me!!\
37	'''Aura:''' Oh, shut up!\
38	'''Tom Servo ''(as statue)'':''' Oh, I'm sorry, were my cries of pain too loud for you?
39	* AngstWhatAngst: [[invoked]] The gang notes how creepy it is for Kor to be mugging and cracking jokes after murdering several people.
40	* AntiClimax: The movie is absolutely ''full'' of them, and the guys are aware of every one. Right as Kor is about to face off against three armed lizard-men, [[TemptingFate Jonah gets excited, claiming the movie might finally get a decent action sequence]]--and they all scatter. When they return with a gigantic warrior, he just knocks Kor down and gets immediately blown up by Simon's magic. Even the final battle against Shurka is a huge letdown.
41	-->'''Servo:''' You know, that was magically anticlimactic.
42	* BadassBystander: When Shurka's soldiers attack a random farm, a Music/GeorgeHarrison-looking farmer puts up a surprisingly good fight against them -- prompting Crow to wish that guy could have been the movie's hero. "Oh, this guy's a badass! Can we trade Kor for him?" Of course he then promptly gets filled full of arrows. "Ohh. Maybe not..."
43	* TheBeard:
44	-->'''Shurka:''' I intend to rule Axholme. I will need a queen at my side.\
45	'''Crow:''' ''(as Shurka)'' You know, to stop the rumors and all.
46	* {{Bridezilla}}: Because Princess Aura seems to spend all of her screen time judging Simon.
47	-->'''Princess Aura:''' You ''do'' want to marry me, don't you?!\
48	'''Jonah:''' Child bridezilla!
49	* CallBack: "What would [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S03E22MasterNinja Dick Van Patten]] do?"
50	* CatchPhrase:
51	-->'''Kor:''' Hold it.\
52	'''Servo:''' ''(as Kor)'' That's my catch phrase. Copyright, trademark me.
53	* CelebrityResemblance: Within minutes of meeting Kor, Jonah and the bots call him "twitchy Gordon Ramsay" and "fat Sting", and a later close-up on his eyes prompts "Kenneth Brannagh?"
54	* ComicallySmallBribe: According to Tom Servo, Shurka got the loyalty of the soldiers by giving them Vikings tickets.
55	* CompanionCube:
56	** The villain's crab-shaped hat is turned into its own [[EnsembleDarkHorse separate character]][[invoked]] named Crabby.
57	** "You know, they auditioned dozens of waterfalls for this role, but when ''this'' waterfall was in the room with Simon, the chemistry was just electric."
58	* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Discussed. When the narration talks about magic and sorcery, Jonah asks what the difference is. Servo responds that [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Sorcery is an inborn talent, whereas Magic is a skill based on book learning.]]
59	* DisqualificationInducedVictory: One theory for why Kor is "The Conqueror": the actual Conqueror had his title stripped for using steroids, so Kor became the Conqueror by default.
60	* {{Dissimile}}: "It's like ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'' without all the fancy, good stuff."
61	* EnforcedMethodActing: [[invoked]]
62	-->'''Jonah:''' Whoa, a real, on-camera explosion, no digital effects. See, that guy is actually screaming because he almost got hurt. This is a real outtake.
63	* EnsembleDarkHorse (in universe): Crabby! The hat that Kinga mentions in her intro is in the movie merely part of Shurka's outfit, but Jonah and the bots make it out to be so much more.
64	* FaceHeelTurn: The score takes a slightly dark turn as Simon and Gulfax intimidate/bully Shurka's dwarf minion into giving them the RingOfPower:
65	-->'''Jonah:''' This music means [[ProtagonistJourneyToVillain they're the bad guys now]].
66	* FingerPokeOfDoom: The gang notes how the inept fight choreography often has Kor killing {{mook}}s simply by shoving them.
67	* FramedForHeroism: Another theory for how Kor became "The Conqueror": his "victories" were all a bunch of bizarre coincidences. He fought a dragon that suddenly died from an unrelated heart condition; he fought an evil witch who spontaneously combusted; that sort of thing.
68	* FullCircleRevolution: Tom Servo and Crow are convinced that Simon, once he gets the throne, will become just as evil as Shurka, and have to be overthrown himself:
69	-->'''Crow:''' And Simon will be killed in battle by his own son, so that the cycle may begin anew.\
70	'''Servo:''' A throne gained in blood shall be lost in the same.
71	* FunnyBackgroundEvent: During the final Moon 13 segment, Synthia forms a bird-shape with her hands and flaps the wings over and over -- like a less-coordinated version of Film/NapoleonDynamite's sign language song.
72	* FusionFic: According to Jonah, one scene of the film is "a ''Film/{{Gladiator}}'' / ''Literature/LittleHouseOnThePrairie'' mash-up."
73	* HeAlsoDid: [[invoked]] Upon noticing that Music/JamesHorner scored this film:[[note]]Like Deathstalker 3 and a few other films, Corman just reused the theme from Film/BattleBeyondTheStars[[/note]]
74	-->'''Crow:''' Ah, yes. ''Film/{{Braveheart}}'', ''Film/{{Aliens}}'', ''Film/{{Avatar}}'', and this movie.\
75	'''Servo:''' Yeah, when Cameron was scoring ''Film/{{Titanic\|1997}}'', he said, "I want that ''Wizards of Lost Kingdom'' sound."
76	* HypocriticalHumor:
77	-->'''Kor:''' Soldiers, be they dead or alive, [...] deserve some respect.\
78	'''Crow:''' So let's go kill us some soldiers, huh? I'm buying.
79	* ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy:
80	-->'''Tom:''' So how come wizards have such terrible aim?\
81	'''Jonah:''' Must be all the extra fabric in their sleeves; throws off their movements.
82	* IncrediblyLameFun: "I hope your wildest dreams include rose petals, because that's kind of all we've got right now."
83	* INeedToGoIronMyDog: Jonah's "Verbal Smoke Bombs" include such bizarre conversation-enders as "Gotta go, I can't feel my arms!" and "Whoops, the unborn twin I absorbed in the womb is trying to fight its way out of me!"
84	* InferredHolocaust: [[invoked]] The movie ends with Simon as the heir apparent. Tom Servo and Crow describe how, ''obviously'', Simon's going to enact a bloody purge of Shurka loyalists, go mad from paranoia, and become a theocratic tyrant.[[note]]And given the events of the sequel, they may have a point.[[/note]]
85	* TheLoad: They point out how Gulfax, for all his attention-getting appearance, never does a damn thing throughout the whole movie.
86	* LickingTheBlade: When Simon fights off a phantom, Crow encourages him afterwards: "Come on. Lick it. First kill. Come on, lick the sword. Lick it."
87	* MetaphoricallyTrue: Jonah and the bots' last theory for Kor's title, "the Conqueror": that he earned it by doing something much more mundane. Say, by "conquering" a seventeen-platter dinner at a greasy spoon diner, or by "conquering" the high score on ''VideoGame/{{Frogger}}'' at the local pizza parlor.
88	* MicroMonarchy: "Legendary magical kingdom, population: twenty-two."
89	-->'''Jonah:''' Help me reign over my lobby-palace and 800 square feet of a kingdom.
90	* MyFriendsAndZoidberg:
91	-->'''Kor:''' Soldiers, be they dead or alive...\
92	'''Servo:''' Or middle-aged.
93	* NonuniformUniform: During the battle as Shurka attacks Axhome: "I've never seen uniforms that are so ''un-uniform''."
94	* ObsessivelyOrganized: Jonah jokes that Simon must have UsefulNotes/{{OCD}}, since his clothes are ''spotless'' even after all his adventures.
95	* OwMyBodyPart: "My lower G.I.!"
96	* PutTheirHeadsTogether: Jonah tells Tom Servo and Crow to knock off their [[Series/TalesFromTheCrypt Crypt Keeper impressions]]. When they persist, he knocks their skulls together to shut them up.
97	* QuestionableCasting: [[invoked]] Jonah and the bots specifically call out the scrawny actor who plays the phantom warrior as being wholly unsuited to the role.
98	* RootingForTheEmpire: [[invoked]] When Acrasia (the insect woman) attacks Simon, the bots are evenly split between rooting for Simon and rooting for Acrasia.
99	* RunningGag:
100	** Many, many jokes featuring "Crabby", the villain's supposedly sentient, wisecracking, crab-shaped hat.
101	** Every time Kor draws or sheaths his sword, he cuts himself.
102	* ShoutOut:
103	** Chanting the Trashmen's SurfRock EarWorm "Surfin' Bird (Bird Is the Word)" to the tune of the Winkies' "Oh-ee-oh" marching song from ''Film/TheWizardOfOz'' during the march of the bird-helmet soldiers at the beginning.
104	--->'''Jonah and 'Bots:''' BUH-UUURR-UURD, BIRD IS THE WORD, BUH-UUUUUR-URRD...
105	** The riff about the Suicide Cavern is done in the style of JustForFun/StatlerAndWaldorf. Doh-ho-ho-hoh!
106	** The bots make a HurricaneOfPuns a la the Cryptkeeper from ''Series/TalesFromTheCrypt''.
107	** The phantom warrior who attacks Simon is a scrawny, unintimidating dork, so the guys opt to give him lines from ''Film/NapoleonDynamite''.
108	** As a soldier runs away while the film is sped up, "Film/TheWizardOfSpeedAndTime of the Lost Kingdom."
109	* SoundtrackDissonance:
110	** "Something's happening! I can tell by the music! Oh, maybe not."
111	** "Surprisingly upbeat music for a scene featuring a woman being shot in the back with an arrow."
112	* SpecialEffectFailure: [[invoked]] "It's less Medieval Times and more ''Medieval Tim's''."
113	-->'''Crow:''' He's caught between a rock and a fake place.
114	* SticksToTheBack: Kor has his sheath slung across his back, so every time he draws or sheaths his weapon: "Oh, that really cut my back, actually. Oh."
115	* StockFootage: Because the prologue was cobbled together from footage of other Roger Corman-produced sword & sorcery films, the result is a rapid succession of people who look like they should be major characters--but aren't.
116	-->'''Crow:''' Jonah, I'm having a hard time keeping track of the characters in this movie. We're two minutes in, and I've seen like 90 people.\
117	'''Servo:''' Maybe this is the menu, and we have to click on one of these to choose the story we want.
118	* TheStoner: In the opening minutes, the riffers turn some kind of wizard duel into a stoner's get-together.
119	-->'''Jonah:''' Uh, Kev, you're green dude. This is some dank weed. ''[laughs]''\
120	'''Servo:''' Can you even hear me when you're green, man? Oh, no, he's gone! That's harsh! ''[normal voice]'' And I'm all out of stoner jargon.
121	* SurveillanceAsThePlotDemands: "Does ''everyone'' in this kingdom have the power to spy on each other?" They also naturally point out how Shurka is spying on Simon ''immediately'' after a scene where Simon casts a spell to stop him doing that.
122	* TakeOurWordForIt: "Wow. Kor's a good swordsman when it's too dark to actually see what he's doing."
123	* TemptingFate: Every time Jonah and the bots get excited about an upcoming action scene, it just winds up being another AntiClimax.
124	-->'''Jonah:''' Okay. You know, movie, I doubted you before, but Kor the Conqueror versus three wicked-ass demon men? This is gonna be great. Ha ha ha!\
125	''[The demon-men run away instead of fighting.]''\
126	'''Jonah:''' And I'm disappointed again.
127	* TotallyRadical: "This is so lame. I'm gonna go to my room and text emojis or whatever teens do."
128	* VisualGag: When a vine-covered pillar is in the foreground, Crow climbs up it to see if there are any treasure chests at the top.
129	* WhatMeasureIsAMook: The only sign that Kor the "Conqueror" deserves his title is the fact he kills four men without blinking an eye.
130
131	----
132	->''[[TheStinger Scrying pool explodes.]]'' [[TheStinger "Damn him! He has beaten me this time, Bobino!!!"]]

Context Recap / MysteryScienceTheater3000S11E10WizardsOfTheLostKingdom