Line #16 Funny/TheMortalInstruments


1	Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies to all "Moments" pages, so '''all spoilers are unmarked.'''
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3
4	* ''City of Bones'':
5	** Clary: "What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?"
6	** When Jace tells Clary not to touch his weapons:
7	-->"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
8	-->"Selling them on ''what''?"
9	-->Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."
10	** After Isabelle describes Magnus healing Alec:
11	-->"I don't remember any of it," said Alec.
12	-->"Then he sat by Alec's bed all night and into the morning to make sure he woke up okay," Isabelle added.
13	-->"I don't remember that, either," Alec added hastily.
14	** Clary and Magnus at his party:
15	-->Clary: Is it in honor of anything?
16	-->Magnus: My cat's birthday.
17	-->Clary: Oh. Where's your cat?
18	-->Magnus: I don't know. He ran away.
19	** Clary and Jace:
20	-->Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?
21	-->Jace: If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.
22	** Jace, discussing a prophecy from Madame Dorothea.
23	-->Dorothea: Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?
24	-->Jace: Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself.
25	-->Dorothea: At least you don't have to worry about rejection, [[FullNameBasis Jace Wayland]].
26	-->Jace: Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.
27	** Jace, "translating" a tombstone for Clary:
28	-->It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
29	** When they find the Mortal Cup...
30	-->Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.
31	-->Isabelle: It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.
32	** Clary calling Alec a dickhead, then his stunned "''What'' did you call me?"
33	* ''City of Ashes'':
34	--> '''Clary:''' Oh come on, Jace. You can't wait for perfect behavior from everyone. Adults screw up too. Go back to the Institute and talk to her rationally. Be a man.
35	--> '''Jace:''' I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.
36	--> '''Luke:''' Well, you're doing a fantastic job.
37	** Alec's attempt to explain away a hickey:
38	--> '''Alec:''' I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head.
39	--> '''Jace:''' And ran into a vampire?
40	-->'''Alec:''' What? No! I fell.
41	--> '''Jace:''' On your ''neck?''
42	** Magnus' response to finding an unconscious Jace near the entrance to the City of Bones.
43	-->''' Magnus:''' "Is he dead? He looks dead."
44	--> '''Maryse:''' "No. He's not dead."
45	--> '''Magnus:''' "Have you checked? I could kick him if you want."
46	--> '''Inquisitor:''' "Stop that!"
47	**
48	--> '''Magnus:''' "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."
49	**
50	--> '''Simon (regarding Magnus):''' "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"
51	--> '''Jace:''' "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."
52	** After Simon gets turned into a vampire, Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
53	**
54	--> '''Clary:''' "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."
55	--> '''Luke:''' "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with [Jace]?"
56	-->''' Clary:''' "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."
57	* ''City of Glass'':
58	** At the celebration:
59	-->Isabelle: "Anyway, it's yummy. Jace?"
60	-->Jace: "I am a man, and men do not consume pink drinks. Get thee gone, woman, and get me something brown."
61	-->Isabelle: "Brown?"
62	-->Jace: "Brown is a manly color. In fact, look--Alec is wearing it."
63	-->Alec: "It was black... but then it faded."
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65	* ''City of Fallen Angels''
66	** Jace, snarking even in the face of Myth/{{Lilith}}.
67	--> "You and your name-dropping. 'I knew [[ArchangelMichael Michael]]', 'I knew Sammael', 'The [[ArchangelGabriel angel Gabriel]] did my hair.' It's like ''I'm with the Band'' with Biblical figures."
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Context Funny / TheMortalInstruments