History Funny / TheMortalInstruments

**

--> Alec: "I- I fell."
--> Jace: "On your ''neck''?"

--> Magnus: "Is he dead? He looks dead."
--> Maryse: "No. He's not dead."
--> Magnus: "Have you checked? I could kick him if you want."
--> Inquisitor: "Stop that!"

--> Magnus: "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."

--> Simon (regarding Magnus): "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"
--> Jace: "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."
** After Simon gets turned into a vampire, Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
**
--> Clary: "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."
--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with [Jace]?"
--> Clary: "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

!! [[Literature/TheMortalInstruments The Books]]

!![[Film/TheMortalInstrumentsCityOfBones The Film Adaptation]]
*
-->Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. [[Film/GhostBusters1984 Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper]]?"
*
-->'''Clary:''' You're a cold-blooded killer!\\
'''Jace:''' [[DeadpanSnarker As opposed to a peace-loving killer?]]
* Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.
* Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[ExtendedDisarming then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
* Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.

** Jace, snarking even in the face of UsefulNotes/{{Lilith}}

** [[spoiler: When they find the Mortal Cup...]]

-->Isabelle: It's the [[spoiler: Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.]]

** After [[spoiler:Simon gets turned into a vampire]], Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".

* [[spoiler:Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.]]

-->Alec: "It was black, but then it faded."

** Jace, snarking even in the face of {{Lilith}}

-->Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. [[Film/GhostBusters Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper]]?"

* Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.

!City of Bones:
* Clary: "What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?"
* When Jace tells Clary not to touch his weapons:

* After Isabelle describes Magnus healing Alec:

* Clary and Magnus at his party:

* Clary and Jace:

* Jace, discussing a prophecy from Madame Dorothea.

* Jace, "translating" a tombstone for Clary:

[[spoiler: When they find the Mortal Cup...]]

* Clary calling Alec a dickhead, then his stunned "''What'' did you call me?"
* From the film adaptation:
-->Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. [[Film/GhostBusters Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper]]?"
* Also from the film:
-->'''Lily:''' You're a cold-blooded killer!\\
'''Jace:''' [[DeadpanSnarker As opposed to what, a peace-loving killer?]]
* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.]]
* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[ExtendedDisarming then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
* In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.
!City of Ashes:
*

*

*

*

* After [[spoiler: Simon gets turned into a vampire]], Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
*

!City of Glass
* At the celebration:

-->Alec: "It was black, but then it faded."