| 1 | [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/firefox_2020_07_30_23_14_17.jpg]] |
| 2 | [[caption-width-right:350:Presenting: Music/LimpBizkit ''{{nightcore}}''.[[labelnote:*]]And God was dead]] [[/labelnote]] |
| 3 | One of Joel's most famous gags is his Windows Destruction streams, which as the title would tell you, has Joel doing absolutely horrible things to various operating systems starting from Window XP and so on. Usually, Joel would start it by doing something tame, like installing toolbars from dubious sites and various free antivirus and optimizers, which of course always cause the problems they ostensibly fix. It got worse from there, and he always finishes off the destruction process with a bang by rendering the operating systems inoperable through various things, like [[MemeticMutation deleting System32]] or installing user-made software that will swiftly destroy the OS [[ControllableHelplessness without giving him any chance to recover from it]], like Bonzify et cetera. |
| 4 | |
| 5 | To those concerned that Joel might be doing real damage to actual hardware that he spent money on: Don't worry, these wanton displays of digital violence are always done on virtual machines; [[NoAnimalsWereHarmed no actual computers were harmed in the production of these streams.]] |
| 6 | |
| 7 | Go [[Funny/VinesauceJoel here]] for the rest of Joel's funny moments. |
| 8 | ---- |
| 9 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 10 | [[folder:Windows XP]] |
| 11 | [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9DST-6jIBU Windows XP Destruction]], the one that started it all. Joel performs absolutely horrible things on [[Platform/MicrosoftWindows Windows XP]] such as pumping it with dubious toolbars all while reliving [[TurnOfTheMillennium the yonder days of 2002]]. Don't worry guys, it's a virtual machine. |
| 12 | ---- |
| 13 | * There's also his reaction to the porn site that popped up right after installing the infamous adware program [=BonziBUDDY=]. |
| 14 | -->'''Joel''': ''"Naked ladies"?!'' No--'''HAHAHAHAHA!!''' '''''WHAHAHAHAT?!''''' No, I don't think I wanna--''(cracks up, closes the tab)'' [[BigYes YES!]] IT BEGINS! |
| 15 | ** While actually searching for [=BonziBuddy=], Joel listens to a MIDI of [[Music/{{Slayer}} "Raining Blood"]]. |
| 16 | -->'''Joel''': Now, I can't tell if it's a Slayer solo, or my computer screaming in agony as I'm downloading this. |
| 17 | * Opening Paint and drawing a picture of a deformed [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Yoshi and Mario]] on meth, all while listening to "[[Music/LinkinPark In The End]]". |
| 18 | -->''When Mario started--STOPPED using mushrooms, he went for meth instead. So he's got bad teefffffffffff.'' |
| 19 | -->''SHUT! UP! Jesus, urgh! God, I can't stand it, even ironically!'' |
| 20 | * [[https://youtu.be/gGvAW_WGl9U His YouTube Poop.]] |
| 21 | * Any time Joel impersonates [[Music/LimpBizkit Fred Durst]], heard often during the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy318EfvbCM full stream of]] the Windows XP destruction. |
| 22 | * He opens Paint and recounts the time when, at school, one of his classmates would always open Paint and draw a penis on every computer in the room. |
| 23 | -->''And I swear to God, our fuckin' teacher said: WHO'S BEEN DRAWING '''DICKS'''''? |
| 24 | * The ending of the montage. ''[[https://youtu.be/RKroV-2hBoE?t=7m45s Oh God, the ending.]]'' |
| 25 | -->[[TheScrappy BONZIBUDDY]] |
| 26 | -->1999-2014 |
| 27 | -->"[[Creator/MaxGilardi MY GREATEST DREAM\ |
| 28 | IS A WORLD WITHOUT]] |
| 29 | -->[[CrossesTheLineTwice JEWS]]" |
| 30 | [[/folder]] |
| 31 | |
| 32 | |
| 33 | [[folder:Windows 7 Destruction]] |
| 34 | Perhaps the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDpxx5UqrVU Windows 7 Destruction Stream]] might be one of the most memed-on contender among his other Windows Destruction streams. |
| 35 | ---- |
| 36 | * Once again, he downloads [=BonziBUDDY=] and it fails to run, leading Joel to praise technology's advancement... |
| 37 | -->'''Joel:''' I think... [=BonziBUDDY=].. doesn't work on Windows 7... This is the best thing ever! ...Hallelujah! Technology did it--did, like, go forward! |
| 38 | ** ...Until he runs it as an administrator... ''then'' [=BonziBUDDY=] works. Because [=OSes=] before Vista/7 always ran everything as admin by default. |
| 39 | -->'''Joel:''' '''''FFFFFFAAAACKGHHH!!''''' ''<headdesk, quiet sobbing>'' [-why... why did I have to do that?-] |
| 40 | * Joel opening his stream [[DrosteImage while he's streaming.]] |
| 41 | * The [=CursorMania=] program, which gives you a large set of decorative cursors, including one of Jesus and one of the Pope. |
| 42 | * From the full stream, his reaction to a certain toolbar: |
| 43 | --> '''Joel:''' "Bad Ass Mafia Toolbars". [[{{Beat}} ...]] I'm [[FlatWhat sorry]]? |
| 44 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiVtoO65BRY Joel's story of the time he got a poorly done desktop stripper on his old PC.]] And his dad's resultant violent disappointment. |
| 45 | -->'''Joel's dad:''' JOEL? JOEL? [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown Did you]] [[MemeticMutation download boobs again, Joel?]]\ |
| 46 | '''Joel:''' N-no dad, no, no-\ |
| 47 | '''Joel's dad:''' JOEL? '''JOEL?!''' |
| 48 | ** The fact that Joel's dad asked him if he "downloaded boobs again" implies that [[NoodleIncident Joel already did it and got caught at least once before]]. |
| 49 | * The opening lines of the video really set the tone for what's to come: |
| 50 | -->'''Joel:''' When I was five or six years old, I asked my dad, "Dad, what is technology?" And my dad goes, "''It's magic, Joel. It's magic.''" Ever since that day, little Joel was never the same. |
| 51 | ** [[FridgeBrilliance It gets even funnier, albeit]] [[HilariousInHindsight in hindsight]]: Joel's dad [[WebAnimation/StrongBadEmail must've been]] [[Recap/StrongBadEmailE143Technology taking cues from]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKnLBNS9jDw&t=1m07s Strong Bad]]. |
| 52 | * Joel tries to install an incredibly sketchy-looking "free smiley toolbar" program, which ultimately doesn't work. He still manages to have some fun mocking the typos, guilt-tripping, and very questionable imagery in the installer. But the best part comes when the installer asks him if he can fill out a survey on their website. He clicks the link and is taken to an error page. Joel immediately bursts into laughter. |
| 53 | -->'''Joel''': ''(reading)'' "Ahhh ,Dont Stop , Keep Injecting Me Those Smileys !!! I Love It !!!" ''(shakes his Burning Super Death Sword cursor while talking)'' If you're ''sick,'' if you're already sick with smileys, then why are you taking more?! Even mom, ''even'' ''[[HopelessWithTech mom]]'', would understand there is something wrong! '''''[[RuleOfThree Even mom!]]''''' |
| 54 | * The [[SoBadItsGood amusingly terrible]] ''[[{{Music/Skrillex}} Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites]]'' Platform/{{MIDI}}. According to Joel, it "sounds like farting into a bathtub". |
| 55 | -->'''Joel''': [[SarcasmMode Sick drop. Sick. Drop.]] |
| 56 | ** And prior to that, the "Darude -- Sandstorm" MIDI. It's far slower and... |
| 57 | --->'''Joel''': It's like some sort of reggae version. Yeah mon! Yah mon, [[TheStoner smoke da 'erb]]! |
| 58 | * He installs a program that puts a three-frame animated Christmas tree on his desktop. All he can say after seeing it: |
| 59 | -->'''Joel''': Look at it! It's the worst thing ever! |
| 60 | * Then there's the Softonic woman and her butchered pronunciation of the word 'tutorials'. A lady with an otherwise perfect American accent butchers the pronunciation of an English word that the Swedish Joel, who's the only Vinesauce member not from an English-speaking country, catches her on. |
| 61 | -->'''Softonic lady:''' On Softonic, you'll find software descriptions with the most relevant information about the program, as well as screenshots... |
| 62 | -->'''Joel:''' Screenshots? |
| 63 | -->'''Softonic lady:''' And video [[RougeAnglesOfSatin tutorals]]. |
| 64 | -->'''Joel:''' Tu.. tu... WHAT DID YOU... tu... "tutorals"?! '''"TOO-TOO-ROLLS"?!''' |
| 65 | ** The beginning of her speech is peppered with genuine cries of protest from Joel. |
| 66 | --->'''Softonic Lady:''' Softonic: now available on your PC! |
| 67 | --->'''Joel:''' ''No!'' |
| 68 | --->'''Softonic Lady:''' Let's start using the application! |
| 69 | --->'''Joel:''' ''No!'' |
| 70 | --->'''Softonic Lady:''' Do you know what software you're looking for? |
| 71 | --->'''Joel:''' ''[[RuleOfThree No]]!'' |
| 72 | ** The fact that they're proud of scanning their software with over '''''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverKill thirty]]''''' antivirus programs. |
| 73 | -->'''Softonic lady:''' To guarantee that our programs are virus-free, we scan them with more than thirty antivirus engines. |
| 74 | -->'''Joel:''' '''''THIRTY?!''''' One is not enough?! |
| 75 | ** Joel waving Bonzi around and causing the Softonic voice file to stop and stutter. |
| 76 | ** The closing line: |
| 77 | --->'''Softonic lady:''' Softonic for Windows! The easiest way to discover-- |
| 78 | --->'''Joel:''' ''To destroy your PC!'' |
| 79 | * "Oh my God, look at my scroll bar, it's like a whole Twinkie!" |
| 80 | [[/folder]] |
| 81 | |
| 82 | |
| 83 | [[folder:Windows 8 Destruction]] |
| 84 | And now for 2015, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-vB8qdNSYc Windows 8 Destruction]], featuring such questionable programs as desktop butterflies, [=MyFelix=], and an endless array of questionable PC optimization programs. |
| 85 | |
| 86 | * It begins with Joel [[TakeThat commenting]] on the user-unfriendly layout of Windows 8's start menu, saying that it may as well be his fastest destruction video. The weather app prompts him to enter a location, to which Joel responds typing in "Hell". Then he chooses Hell, Michigan... [[ShaggyDogStory and it promptly displays a "No data available" error message.]] |
| 87 | * After the NightmareFuel that was ''WesternAnimation/FelixTheCat'' for the Platform/SegaGenesis, Joel goes looking for him by searching up "Felix the Desktop Cat". Instead, he finds the mascot for Felix Cat Food in the UK, in the form of a "desktop toy" program, and downloads that. [[JumpScare Felix does nothing but yowl occasionally and glitch violently, scaring Joel several times throughout the stream]]. |
| 88 | * Joel throws Wrestling/JohnCena's theme into an [=MP3-to-=]Platform/{{MIDI}} converter; [[NoodleImplements it does a thing, then another thing]]. The result sounds like [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoj4JDFaduU a cat playing a piano]]. |
| 89 | -->'''Joel:''' Felix, have you been fucking with my piano? |
| 90 | ** Even funnier is [[FreezeFrameBonus the comment at the bottom of the page]]: |
| 91 | --->'''Travis Foster:''' [[FiveSecondForeshadowing My MIDI sounds like someone's repeatedly breaking a piano.]] |
| 92 | * [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Three words]]: Vaporwave Limp Bizkit. |
| 93 | -->'''Joel:''' ''[[EvilSoundsDeep It's the fucking devil!]]'' |
| 94 | ** Three more words: ''Nightcore'' Limp Bizkit. Joel even paints over an image of Fred Durst to make him an 'anime girl'! |
| 95 | --->'''Image Caption''': '''[[WordSaladHumor HAS ANYONE REALLY BEEN FAR EVEN AS DECIDED TO USE EVEN GO WANT TO DO MORE LIKE?]] [[MemeticMutation NYAAAAAAAAAA]]''' |
| 96 | --->'''Joel:''' And God was dead. |
| 97 | * The end of the first stream where Joel acts out the hypothetical possibility of his devout Christian father finding gay porn on his PC. |
| 98 | -->'''Joel:''' ''(as his dad)'' Joel? Joel!? Why is there ''MEAT'' on my ''DESKTOP'', Joel!? HAVE YOU BEEN DOWNLOADING '''[[FunetikAksent TICKS!?]]''' |
| 99 | -->'''Joel:''' [[BlatantLies No, I haven't!]] |
| 100 | -->'''Joel:''' ''(as his dad)'' JOEL!? *slams fist down* [[SuddenlyShouting JOEL!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!]] |
| 101 | * Joel's opinion on what are the "best" [=MP3=] files? The ones that are actually .mp3'''[[SchmuckBait .EXE]]''' files that install malware. |
| 102 | --> '''Joel:''' I listen to EXE files! |
| 103 | * One of the programs he ends up downloading from such a file is called "[=MediaDrug=]". |
| 104 | -->''I'm gonna snort an mp3, [[Wrestling/HulkHogan brother]]! [[AssShove Right up my ass]]!'' |
| 105 | ** Then, we get "[[Music/SnoopDogg gin and juice.exe]]", which incites Joel to raucously laugh and ultimately find it hard to breathe through cackling. |
| 106 | * "''Windows 4 Seniors''". |
| 107 | * Joel reminisces about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99oZ60FvNl8 You Are An Idiot]]. |
| 108 | * Later on, he crank calls the tech support number on the questionable PC Optimizer Pro. The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doZ-Wmgrkfs whole call]] has to be heard to be believed. |
| 109 | -->'''Joel:''' [[MemeticMutation I sexually identify as an attack helicopter]], and you will check your privilege, cis scum. |
| 110 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEHysKTAa_k Joel imagines ''Gin and Juice'' to be a kids show]]. |
| 111 | * As a grand finale, he runs a file called "[[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast videoxxx.avi.exe]]". Guess what happens... If you guessed "Russian ransomware that overwrites the master boot record", you win! The same ransomware was examined by popular ransomware investigator rogueamp about a year before the stream, meaning that for some viewers this was AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle. |
| 112 | [[/folder]] |
| 113 | |
| 114 | [[folder:Windows 10 Destruction]] |
| 115 | For his 2016 charity stream, Joel [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh0bczrw4NU took a crack at destroying Windows 10]], with such highlights as browsing various [=WikiHow=] articles, visiting a forum dedicated to ice-chewing (with particular attention paid to a thread discussing the [[{{Squick}} freezing of]] "[[UnusualEuphemism milk]]"), and getting roasted by Cortana. To go into more detail and context... |
| 116 | ---- |
| 117 | * Not long after Joel begins searching for (fake) antivirus programs, he gets an ad with a popup that says "You'll have sex tonight". |
| 118 | ** In the highlights video, ''the theme song of Series/ThePriceIsRight plays when that popup appears.'' |
| 119 | * For some reason, Joel finds [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbtrX-kucQM Windows Police Pro]] to be hilarious. |
| 120 | -->'''Joel:''' ''[laughing]'' I'm sorry, but that's really funny. ''[weird accent]'' "[[FunetikAksent Win-those eis een denge-jare.]]" |
| 121 | ** Another antivirus plays ''pig squeals'' when it "finds" viruses just like Kaspersky used to, which also makes Joel lose it. |
| 122 | * Joel browsing [=WikiHow=]: |
| 123 | ** An article has an image with a bear oddly making a derpy, happy face. |
| 124 | ** One of the [=WikiHow=] articles that Joel found was "How to breed Syrian Hamsters". He [[{{Corpsing}} laughs uncontrollably]], and some of the viewers wondered if Joel would get banned for technically showing hamster porn. |
| 125 | |
| 126 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh0bczrw4NU The highlights video]] formerly featured dramatic music as Joel makes the discovery that Cortana is basically Bonzi Buddy. Sadly, the recent revision of the highlight cut skips through the music to avoid copyright infringement. |
| 127 | -->'''Joel:''' ''(reading from Microsoft's website)'' "Cortana is your clever new personal assistant. [[ExplainExplainOhCrap Cortana will help you find things on your PC, manage your calendar, track packages, find files, chat with you, and... TELL JOKES?? The more you use Cortana, the more personalized your... experience will be...]]" |
| 128 | ** His reaction post Mini-FreakOut is pretty golden too. |
| 129 | ---> '''Joel:''' Oh great, Windows fucked up even more. They made a goddamn Diet b-Coke Bonzi Buddy. [[SarcasmMode Great! Fantastic!]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Okay, so uh so every Windows 10 is pre-packaged with Bonzi Buddy these days]], [[SarcasmMode oh that's fantastic! Oh great!]] ''[[SarcasmMode Crème de la crème!]]'' |
| 130 | ** [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Looking closely during this reveals there's a tab open with "Internet Explorer Anime" open!]] |
| 131 | ** He sure has fun playing with her but specifically Joel asking Cortana for "VideoGame/{{Minecraft}} [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment sex porn]]" and [[RapidFireNo immediately regretting his decision.]] |
| 132 | ** What's even funnier is that Joel was frantically trying to close Cortana's search results most likely because he didn't want to get banned for showing porn on stream. The search result was just an excerpt of Minecraft's Wikipedia page. |
| 133 | ** Joel talking to Cortana in Swedish, who interprets what he's saying as "Will do after sushi coming home in the area with this car feels like you?" |
| 134 | *** What was the meaning of the swedish he spoke? [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Do you want to eat fermented baltic herring on my erotic ugly dick?"]]. |
| 135 | * At one point, Joel watches a few videos on "[[SchmuckBait instant money]]" systems, and keeps insisting during one of them that ''one dollar'' is enough to satisfy him. Later on, he shows another video of this ilk, but cropped in such a way that the amount of money shown is cropped to ''[[BrickJoke one dollar]].'' |
| 136 | -->'''Joel:''' I... swear to fuck, ''more'' of this shit?? |
| 137 | * In the third part, Joel is browsing a selection of malware programs (mainly email worms) provided by danooct1, only for the computer to blue screen before he has the chance to actually run any of them. |
| 138 | * The finale of the stream can easily be considered one of the most hilarious Joel moments to grace ''Vinesauce'' history. He decided to download the "MEMZ.exe" trojan horse by Leurak, showcased earlier by [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqbkm47qBxDj-P3lI9voIAw famous malware researcher danooct1]] in his Viewer-Made Malware series, not expecting much to happen. When he runs the program, he sees a Notepad message from MEMZ, claiming to have taken over the computer and that ending the process would only speed up the inevitable death of the computer. [[TemptingFate Joel takes this as a challenge]], and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se1k-on1zjE the results need to be seen to be believed]]. How does the trojan respond? It launches all sorts of Google searches via Chrome, including [[BlackComedy how to kill yourself]], downloads of ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' Hax (sic), how to create your own malware, and [[HopeSpot how to get rid of the MEMZ program]]. Thanks to the later payloads, such as color inversion, random error icons all over the screen, message boxes asking "Still using the computer?", [[DrosteEffect culminating with a Droste effect achieved via BitBlt]], making the whole lightshow easily comparable to Vinny's corruption streams. Joel freaks out, then restarts the computer... only to see that the computer has been completely hijacked. As showcased by danooct1 earlier, the virus overwrites the MBR, inserting a message from the MEMZ trojan ("Your computer has been trashed by the MEMZ trojan. Now enjoy the Nyan Cat..."), then playing a Nyan Cat animation. Due to Joel using a virtual machine, the extra Nyan Cat theme is inaudible due to being made to play via BIOS speaker. [[ForegoneConclusion And the initial message is true, as the MBR overwrite payload is executed before said message is shown.]] And to whoever had watched danooct1's video, DramaticIrony was in full effect the whole time. [[GoneHorriblyRight "Windows 10 Destruction" indeed!]] |
| 139 | ---> '''Joel:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Don't snort memes up your cockhole.]] |
| 140 | ** Just as the virus hits its peak, Windows only then shows an alert that it has detected it and that the computer may be at risk. |
| 141 | ---> '''Joel:''' [[{{Understatement}} "Your computer might be at risk"]]. NO SHIT! |
| 142 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFlP3K7Zoow The post-Destruction stream]] is also comedy gold. After dealing with the MEMZ virus, Joel was sent [=VineMEMZ=], a modified variety of MEMZ, to test out. Joel accepts the offer, and he's forced to take a trip down memory lane. The customized trojan has similar effects to the original, but they're changed to be based off of Joel's previous destruction streams and other Vinesauce Joel-derived memes. He's hit with a bombardment of memes that he himself had spawned, including a bunch of crappy MIDI files (most prominently a ''[[Music/{{Skrillex}} Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites]]'' MIDI from an earlier destruction stream), clips of his own voice, a crude drawing of a penis (complete with a "Who's been drawing dicks?!" soundbite), which had many a viewer wondering if Joel would get banned for having a giant penis on his screen, and Softonic. The searches that the program makes include [[WebVideo/GamesRepainted "FUCK BEES"]], "[[Music/SiIvaGunner Snow Halation]]", and various MIDI file converters. The best is saved for last, however, as Joel is forced to deal with his "worst enemy" by the trojan. Said enemy? [[ArchEnemy Bonzi Buddy!]] Joel gets ready to use him one more time, but before he can search something, [[AntiClimaxBoss Bonzi is automatically]] [[KilledOffForReal shut down]], with the caption "Rest in piss, forever miss" accompanying Bonzi's demise. The computer crashes to a BSOD, and when it turns back on, Joel is greeted with the MBR code displaying a twisted parody of the "7 GRAND DAD" title screen, showing [[NightmareFuel Unmasked Felix]] with the title "0 Grand Dead" as a double reference to Joel's bootleg game streams. [[Heartwarming/{{Vinesauce}} In a rather touching twist]], the title screens says the following message: "Thanks Joel for your awesome Streams!" |
| 143 | * Early on in the post-destruction stream, Joel asks Cortana to tell him a joke. He finds it so bad he immediately asks how to uninstall Cortana, and when that fails (because he said "[[BuffySpeak de-install]]") he escalates to asking ''[[DisproportionateRetribution "how to nuke the entire human race"]]''... which brings up this very wiki's page on NukeEm as the second search result. |
| 144 | [[/folder]] |
| 145 | |
| 146 | |
| 147 | [[folder:Windows Vista Destruction]] |
| 148 | For 2017, Joel decided to take a stab at that one odd version of Windows between XP and 7; yes, it's time for the dreaded [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2qY8JtjJag Windows Vista]]. |
| 149 | ---- |
| 150 | * Right off the bat, Joel manages to make his virtual machine crash by merely playing ''solitaire''. (He was aware of this issue beforehand, however.) |
| 151 | ** Toward the end of the stream, [[ChekhovsGun Joel attempts to load solitaire again]] to deliberately crash the VM. [[SubvertedTrope It doesn't work]], and Joel just shuts it off instead. Shortly after restarting the virtual machine, [[DoubleSubversion it blue screens anyway.]] |
| 152 | * Joel goes looking for a 'PC Cleaner' website, and ends up on Witt Clean, a kitchen company's website. He doesn't realise that he's there until he asks where he can download anything on the website, recognises the brand name and then immediately laughs. |
| 153 | * As a follow-up to the ice chewing forum from last year, Joel surfaces another forum dealing with a rather specific community; men's long hair. One thread's purpose is to announce that a person with a waist-length ponytail was doing good on ''Series/WheelOfFortune'' the previous night. |
| 154 | * One of the antivirus programs Joel installs, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arwTIP8qvNw Protegent]], even has a mascot -- which is literally an orange recolor of Wyatt from ''WesternAnimation/SuperWhy''. But then Joel finds one of the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM72zbTXHSI video advertisements]] the company had made, which gives said mascot an [[VocalDissonance unexpectedly deep voice]]. |
| 155 | -->'''Joel''': Protegent sounds like a dental creme...[[{{Dissimile}} for your ass]]... |
| 156 | * The background Joel picks for his computer, which is a cup patterned with [[Franchise/SailorMoon Usagi Tsukino]] asking for marijuana. |
| 157 | * Joel experimenting with MIDI soundfonts, finding particular amusement in one that's literally just gunshot noises. He later mentions once again how the iconic ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' theme was created using MIDI soundfonts, and tries to recreate it to the best of his ability with the exact same soundfonts that the theme used... |
| 158 | -->'''Joel''': ''(laughs hysterically at hearing gunshots playing)'' [[https://clips.twitch.tv/SpoopySplendidFrogCharlieBitMe I FORGOT I HAD SET IT TO "GUN"!]] KRAMER, NO! KRAMER, NOOO! ''(breaks down laughing)''\ |
| 159 | ''(Cut to some time later, with him showing the file set to 400 beats per minute)''\ |
| 160 | '''Joel''': Kramer goes to war! COSTANZA, NO!\ |
| 161 | ''([[https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/124933-costanzajpg-george-costanza-reaction-face That]] image of Costanza, edited to look like he's holding a minigun, starts shaking around the screen as the track plays)''\ |
| 162 | '''Closed Captioning''': [[AC:*Machine gun rendition of the Seinfeld theme*]] |
| 163 | ** For added amusement, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYzZwnI4-u0&t=10m45s the unofficial highlight reel]] adds gifs of Kramer [[CrossesTheLineTwice shooting up dozens of people]] as the [=MIDIs=] play. |
| 164 | ** Later, Joel tries to [[CallBack apply his MIDI experiments to the output of the MP3-to-MIDI converter]]. The ''[[Franchise/SailorMoon Sailor Moon]]'' theme rendered with gun sound effects must be heard to be believed. |
| 165 | ** The gunshot rendition of the ''Sailor Moon'' theme manages to become doubly funny when you remember that the titular Sailor Senshi was originally going to be packing heat. |
| 166 | * Leurak once again provides a grand finale for Act I entitled "Bonzify", in which [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaGPJP6Lyk0 Bonzi Buddy seeks revenge]]. [[note]]It changes almost every icon to Bonzi Buddy, the entire right column of the Start menu is relabeled with "Hello, Expand Dong", and then it repeatedly spawns Windows error messages with all the text changed to "[[MadnessMantra Bonzi was here]], as well as CallBack-laden message boxes with lines such as "[[WebVideo/GamesRepainted It's hip to fuck bees]]", "Succ is dead" and "'Lemon' mixed with 'Milk'", etc. Even the name of the search engine in Internet Explorer is renamed "Succ Me".[[/note]] |
| 167 | * On the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYr_mEDMIl0&t=44s second part]] of the stream, Joel finally acknowledges how Protegent's mascot is a ''Super Why'' knock-off, and also unearths more videos from their [=YouTube=] channel -- such as a ''very bad'' rap video. |
| 168 | * Joel finds an "interesting" fangame known as ''New Super Mario Forever 2015'', which had downright bizarre animations for Mario, and text-to-speech voice acting for Princess Peach. |
| 169 | * Joel tries numerous alleged PC speed-up software sites, until he finds one where an unconvincing stock image of an old beautiful man that praises the program is displayed. Joel finds that the website downright says that the customer isn't actually real, leading him to declare his belief that such vendors lure in clueless grannies using pictures of handsome men of their age. |
| 170 | ** Said discovery results in Joel deciding to browse [=iStockPhoto=] -- a site which, as its name suggests, is [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin full of stock images]], on a search for pictures of doctors he could use as spokespeople for questionable PC utilities. One image he finds when looking up doctors giving thumbs up is of a doctor with [[FacialHorror no face]]. |
| 171 | -->'''Joel''': I would recommend a daily dosage of ['''''BlackSpeech''''']. I would say it's very good for headache relief, it helps everything. I'm gonna prescribe you 20 [=CCs=] of ['''''Black Speech''''']. |
| 172 | ** Another highlight from the visit to [=iStockPhoto=] is one photo of a shrugging businessman. |
| 173 | -->'''Joel''': How is this convincing in any way, shape, or form? This is him literally going '''"[[NoIndoorVoice I DUNNO! I DUNNO!! IT'S A BUNCHA SHIT!!!]]'''" |
| 174 | * Joel finishes off part 2 by running the [=NotPetya=] ransomware; at one point, he also plays the aforementioned Protegent rap over it. |
| 175 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH0kmE41ORM&t=1513s The third part]] features a literal example of Windows Destruction, via an application that lets you damage your desktop with virtual weapons. |
| 176 | * One of the toolbars has a weather example set to [[InherentlyFunnyWords Yonkers, New York]], which Joel envisions as a [[https://clips.twitch.tv/BusyPoorMilkBatChest medieval RPG village.]] |
| 177 | -->'''Joel''': Yeah, get this, Yonkers? Is Yonkers a real place? That sounds like a made up, uh, sounds like a medieval role-playing game village. ''[in a wizard voice]'' Yes, get the Crystal of Strength from Yonkers, the village of the elves! |
| 178 | * Joel comes across a mysterious game titled "Creator/TimAllen's Sexy Strip Poker".[[note]]It's another program created by Leurak. It's similar to Bonzify, except with pictures of Tim Allen, and replacing text strings with [[Series/HomeImprovement "AEUHHH?"]]. But, [[https://clips.twitch.tv/AwkwardCloudyShingleBabyRage when he reboots the VM]], he has a [[JumpScare Felix the Cat moment]] ... followed immediately by a BSOD, causing him to [[MoodWhiplash break out in laughter]].[[/note]] |
| 179 | [[/folder]] |
| 180 | |
| 181 | [[folder:Windows 98 Destruction]] |
| 182 | For its 20th anniversary in 2018, Joel revisits Windows 98. |
| 183 | ---- |
| 184 | * The fun truly begins once Joel begins experimenting with [=ViaVoice=], an old speech recognition program developed by IBM. |
| 185 | ** Firstly, it uses a Microsoft Agent character for its tutorial (a talking pencil), which draws ''immediate'' comparisons to Bonzi Buddy. |
| 186 | ** Its accuracy ends up being hit or miss. His first attempt at using it in the included word processor goes [[https://clips.twitch.tv/SmellyFuriousRuffDoritosChip off the rails quickly]] |
| 187 | ---> "how it to beat its act shall meet at the collapse will know it doesn't know what what was the thing with all out a halt all beets and shall we do know it doesn't know what not played with the ball and he had been date of the ball. To sleep in their House [=Windows98=] best system" |
| 188 | ** This gem shortly afterwards: |
| 189 | --> '''Joel''': What if I just screamed-\ |
| 190 | ''Yelling sound effect''\ |
| 191 | '''Joel''': ... What if I just made ''very loud noises?'' |
| 192 | ** Also, in the highlights, when starting the software up, Joel attempts to read the eye-catch text on the splash screen (the software is in Italian) while the ''VideoGame/SpiderMan2'' Pizza Theme plays in the background. |
| 193 | -->'''Joel:''' "Dettate... al vostro PC fino a 140"-- ''(140 is spoken in English)'' '''''that's not how you say it in Italian!''''' [laughs] |
| 194 | * At one point, Joel also [[https://youtu.be/9Lu99J5UsXs?t=222 uses the playback function]] in the word processor to directly compare the audio input to the text. It similarly goes south quickly, and gets ''very'' choppy and distorted the moment he starts ''yelling into the mic.'' |
| 195 | --> '''Joel''': Did you know this software [[TemptingFate is really good at recognizing my voice? Let's try it out!]] |
| 196 | ** "Ｌ Ｕ Ｉ Ｇ Ｉ．" |
| 197 | ** Hell, literally '''everything''' that Joel said is priceless, thanks to how the audio gets cut off, but special mention has to go to the weird noises right before his Wario impressions, and the loud scream at the end that gets cut off; the latter sounds almost exactly like Mario's actual screams of pain. |
| 198 | ** It's even better in the highlights video, where there are visuals accompanying the chaotic audio playback; the scream at the end in particular is accompanied by an animation of [[AssShove Mario jumping right inside Wario's ass]]. |
| 199 | ** The text string produced by Joel's first attempt is funny in its own right for how far it goes off the rails after Joel began attempting his impressions: |
| 200 | -->''Windows 98 and some nice computer machine set what did you know that this software is a really really good ad recognising my voice let's try it out [[WordSaladHumor my mama old momma be Iowa Orion by all Oreo Oriole]]'' |
| 201 | * Joel then tries to use the software again, with similar results. |
| 202 | ** "Oh Mama Mia, LUIGI'S DRUNK AGAIN!" |
| 203 | * Joel is sent the file to a game called [[https://youtu.be/wsNNzJADDlA?t=1314 "Twister Ice Fun"]] (a game that's little more than an advertisement for the frozen treat [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twister_(ice_cream) Twister]]), with the sender writing nothing but "[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK YOU JOEL]]" in the accompanying email. He quickly regrets going into the "Twister Zone" when the game launches with a Slovak commercial for Twister that, for whatever reason, is [[SensoryAbuse Earth-shatteringly loud]]. |
| 204 | ** "Hrát. Hrát. Skok. Welcome to Hrát." |
| 205 | ** Joel, for the fun of it, [[https://youtu.be/wsNNzJADDlA?t=1559 tries to launch it again in several new windows.]] This time, however, he gets a beep and some loud crackling/static sounds. Then his virtual machine ''blue-screens.'' Then the game '''''loads anyway''''', producing a ''[[SensoryAbuse borderline apocalyptic]]'' cacophony of noise. |
| 206 | --->'''Virtual Machine''': [''[[OminousVisualGlitch Blackens screen, appears to hang]]''] |
| 207 | --->'''Joel''': N-no, get away!- |
| 208 | --->[''Virtual Machine proceeds to unleash a barrage of noise, all while [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Joel can be faintly heard in the background]] [[LaughingMad alternating between near-unhinged laughter]] [[TheScream and maddened screaming]]''] |
| 209 | --->'''Joel''': SHUT IT DOWN, SHUT IT DOWN... [...] Guys, that might actually be the loudest thing I've ever heard in my entire fucking life. |
| 210 | * While not officially branded as part of the Windows 98 Destruction, Joel [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc0baiM17Nc fumbling around trying to get]] his copy of ''VideoGame/TheSims1'' to run on the same VM ends up becoming destruction. At one point, Joel misinterprets a dialog calling for a specific [=DirectX=] version or Windows NT 4 [=SP3=] (a completely different OS) and ''actually tried to install a service pack for a completely different OS on Windows 98.'' He doesn't end up doing so, but he does have fun poking at some of the files. |
| 211 | --> Windows cannot connect to GOD. |
| 212 | * Joel discusses pre-Internet [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulletin_board_system bulletin board systems]] (henceforth [=BBS=]), and uncovers a series of local Swedish [=BBS=] pages dating back to 1999. He attempts to "REVIVE THE BBS" by making a new post inside a marketplace channel... and due to some freak occurrence, this ends up '''''erasing all of the board's contents!''''' Joel's reaction to realizing he has potentially erased ''decades-old'' pieces of Internet history is beyond priceless. |
| 213 | |
| 214 | [[/folder]] |
| 215 | |
| 216 | |
| 217 | [[folder:VineOS Destruction]] |
| 218 | In 2019, Joel shows the [=VineOS=], a Windows XP build with some Vinesauce and PCRF logos scattered through the OS itself. |
| 219 | ---- |
| 220 | * As usual, he starts up by installing unpopular antiviruses and PC Optimizer clones through Softonic and Softpedia. |
| 221 | ** He also installs various search toolbars, almost every one of them using the same homepage frontend and Google as Search bar. |
| 222 | * Through chat decisions, Joel tried to install ''Platform/{{Roblox}}'' hacks... without actually having the Roblox game itself. |
| 223 | * From one, of his multiple PC Optimizers installed: |
| 224 | --> '''Joel''': Your system status: BAD. |
| 225 | ** After blaming the program about installing multiple toolbars, antiviruses and PC Optimizers in background: |
| 226 | ---> '''Joel''': (laughing) Your system status is GOOD now! Okay well, thanks! It just felt guilty! |
| 227 | * A new impersonation was also done by him: During his moment through a German program, he did a [[GermanHumour German impersonation]] as if such was spoken by Yoda. |
| 228 | * By opening some folders in his Desktop, Joel sees some Nintendo Browsers made by [=MediaBrowser=] for use with some Nintendo websites ranging from [[Platform/Nintendo64 Nintendo 64]] through [[Platform/NintendoGameCube GameCube]]. From the ''VideoGame/MarioTennis'' one: |
| 229 | --> '''Joel''': This is the secret of downloading shit software. You don't need modern Firefox, you need '''Mario Tennis Browser.''' |
| 230 | ** Due for the browser's code being based on Internet Explorer 5, most websites don't work with it anymore. With the exception of one: Bing. |
| 231 | ** He also installs some programs from more than 10 years ago, such as [=CCleaner=], a 2005 version of Norton Antivirus and older versions of Winamp and [[Platform/SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem ZSNES]]. But a certain program was not expected: [=HyperCam2=]. By recording his audio from Sound Recorder and typing on Notepad, he did a ''standard'' [=HyperCam2=] video, straight from the realms of 2008-12 era [=YouTube=]: |
| 232 | --->WELCAM TO MY TUORTIA |
| 233 | --->TODAY I WILL SHOW U |
| 234 | --->HOW TO MAXIMUM VIRBUS |
| 235 | --->YODA CAME IN |
| 236 | --->AND STOLE MY GAMES |
| 237 | --->IF U WANT TO DOWNLOAD FREE |
| 238 | --->PLEASE HIT ME UP |
| 239 | --->ON MYSPACE COOL BEANS :) |
| 240 | --->PS HOMEWORK SUCKZ!!!11111111111111111 |
| 241 | *** And at trying to stop screen recording: |
| 242 | --->PS HHELP |
| 243 | --->:(((( |
| 244 | ** The stream continues by installing more older programs such as Netscape, [=KaZaA Lite=], [=LimeWire=] and Napster. |
| 245 | * From his MIDI folder previously seen on his Shareware Madness streams, he plays a MIDI version of ''[[WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987 DuckTales]]'' theme on Winamp, bringing his incident at the PC version of ''[[VideoGame/PennAndTellersSmokeAndMirrors Desert Bus]]''. |
| 246 | * As for the grand finale, Leurak hits the end of stream with a surprise .bat file for Joel. The OS starts being corrupted on the screen, freezing the perfomance many times. Until it goes BSOD and... '''''[=DOSert=]''''' Bus, a version of Desert Bus made for MS-DOS by Leurak itself boots up. Joel had a choice of playing it for 8 hours, however, due to the charity schedule, he decided to give up and... He ''ducked'' up. Again. [[labelnote:Note]] Interesting enough, the staff roll of Vinesauce is Hope 2019 featured one bus on the desert while the ''Moon'' music from [[Videogame/DuckTales DuckTales:]] Remastered being played in background.[[/labelnote]] |
| 247 | --> Game Over. |
| 248 | --> This computer is now destroyed. |
| 249 | --> The last thing it will display is this message. |
| 250 | [[/folder]] |
| 251 | |
| 252 | [[folder:Longhorn Destruction]] |
| 253 | * While not in the official highlights video, Joel going full on apeshit Swede mode [[https://youtu.be/Y0u-n7o518o?t=4235 after seeing a Lidl ad]] on [=YouTube=] while browsing for totally not fake shitty antivirus videos is truly a sight to behold. |
| 254 | * Joel tells his audience that before the destruction he found something called the "5G Bioshield." If you couldn't guess, it is a [=USB=] stick that you plug into your [=PC=], which is supposed to protect you from the "dangerous" phenomenon known as 5G, and the website advertising it has a near incomprehensible amount of {{technobabble}}. |
| 255 | ---> '''Joel:''' "So, you’re saying if I fuckin' like, stick this $5 [=USB=] stick into my computer, I am now shielded against, like nukes! |
| 256 | ** If things couldn’t get any better, he takes a [=JPEG=] of the person who made it, and sets it as his desktop wallpaper! |
| 257 | ---> '''Joel:''' "SUCKER!" |
| 258 | * Joel visits (what used to be) the Airy Antispyware website, which is now a ww1 domain. One of the suggestions on the page is the link to a Swedish porn website. |
| 259 | ---> GRATIS KNULLSIDOR (FREE FUCK SITE) |
| 260 | * When Joel activates ARTAV Antivirus, it detects ''itself as a threat,'' and it '''deletes itself.''' |
| 261 | [[/folder]] |
| 262 | |
| 263 | |
| 264 | [[folder:Miscellanous]] |
| 265 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J57LQ1OrVfs Joel's first attempt at destroying Windows 98]]. One highlight of note is his attempts at downloading [=BonziBUDDY=] ultimately [[ShaggyDogStory falling apart]] because [=BonziBUDDY=] is ''too new'' to work on 98. He later does a proper one in 2018. |
| 266 | ** Joel tapping into young Joel gives us this nonsense: |
| 267 | ---> '''Joel:''' HINGY DINGY DURGY DOOYIB |
| 268 | ** While Joel declares this attempt at destroying Windows 98 to be a bust, he does finish the system off by [[MemeticMutation deleting system32]]. After that, he tries the Deltree command on the root of the C drive, which ends up deleting everything. |
| 269 | ---> Invalid system disk. Replace the disk, and press any key. |
| 270 | * By popular demand, Joel takes a crack at [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw12NSlfGIA destroying a Mac]]. It turns out to be harder than with Windows, but he manages to find a way. He also plays the game ''VideoGame/LoseLose'', which deleted several files on the computer before crashing. |
| 271 | -->'''Joel:''' Rest in peace, Mac. I will never touch you again. |
| 272 | * Joel's first attempt at destroying Linux is on the infamous [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TPTAVA9_rg Red Star OS]]. You heard that right; the Linux-based OS for [[UsefulNotes/NorthKorea North Korean]] domestic use. |
| 273 | ** Right off the bat, Joel mentions that there's over two thousand e-mail telling him to do the destruction on said OS under one condition; never hooked it up to the Internet. [[TemptingFate He did]]. |
| 274 | --->'''Joel:''' I like to live dangerously. |
| 275 | ** Joel explores the wallpaper selection and slowly giggles when he discovers the bizarre assortment of wallpapers the OS have. Highlights including a poorly photoshopped artillery brigade in some snowy forest and a surreal photoshopped image of a field with tractor engines. |
| 276 | --->'''Joel:''' I don't know about you guys, but it's like watching a fake image, i don't know. It's like the perspective is wrong, it's uncanny! |
| 277 | ** Despite saying that he likes to live dangerously, the actual 'destruction' is consisting of just him opening various writing tools like notepad and sticky notes that simply says "hi i'm joel and i like nice things" like [[{{Irony}} Joel is begging for his life in a gunpoint]]. |
| 278 | ** At one point, Joel went on a panic after discovering a folder named "Drop Box", confusing a network sharing specifics with the cloud file hosting site. |
| 279 | ** Joel decided to replace the current wallpaper with a high resolution picture of Luigi. But because he's selecting the tiled selection, the image appears as if Luigi's [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall peeking at Joel's desktop]], much to his chagrin. |
| 280 | ** Afterwards, Joel went on infinitely copying a video of Gachimuchi on the desktop until the process was terminated since he had no permission to access the file. |
| 281 | --->'''Joel:''' Oh no, oh no, oh no *laughing* oh no, there's too many Gachimuchi on my desktop. |
| 282 | ** The end of the stream has Joel accessing the OS from the root file, and he uses a specific command to essentially delete almost every component of the OS akin of deleting the [=system32=] for Windows. At first, Joel didn't find any difference until the UI disappears and nothing loads properly. Joel then reboots the OS, only to be greeted by the OS failed to boot properly and rebooting infinitely, again and again. |
| 283 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnzCvfwXRpk Hannah Montana Linux Destruction]], the second attempt of Joel trying to do Linux Destruction: |
| 284 | ** While playing a Hannah Montana-themed pinball game, Joel gets utterly baffled at the midi version of "Best of Both Worlds" and gets increasingly frustrated at the song while chat sings along to it. |
| 285 | ** Joel gets a free steam account to use for the Destruction stream and suddenly gets a bunch of friend requests as he browses the app. |
| 286 | ** At the climax, a specially modified Doom II where killed monsters represent active processes and files. And it's set in the infamous nuts.wad, which has thousands of enemies in one room. Go figure. |
| 287 | [[/folder]] |
| 288 | ---- |
| 289 | Go back to the main Vinesauce Funny Moments page [[Funny/{{Vinesauce}} here]][[spoiler:.EXE]] |
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