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* SturdyAndSteadyTurtles: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-suspect-is-wearing-body-armor/210668/ This giant snapping turtle]], which is stubborn enough to snatch a cop's nightstick.
to:
* SturdyAndSteadyTurtles: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-suspect-is-wearing-body-armor/210668/ This giant giant, road-blocking snapping turtle]], which is stubborn enough to snatch a cop's nightstick.
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Changed line(s) 304 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-suspect-is-wearing-body-armor/210668/ This giant snapping turtle]], which is stubborn enough to snatch a cop's nightstick.
to:
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-suspect-is-wearing-body-armor/210668/ This giant snapping turtle]], which is stubborn enough to snatch a cop's nightstick.
-->'''Officer:''' “11-10, be advised, suspect is now armed and attempting to flee.”
-->'''Officer:''' “11-10, be advised, suspect is now armed and attempting to flee.”
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* AndHereHeComesNow: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/hold-your-horses-2/221697/ this story]], the submitter's parents are talking to a police officer about how their neighbour's horses ended up in their front yard.
to:
* AndHereHeComesNow: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/hold-your-horses-2/221697/ this story]], the submitter's parents are talking to a police officer about how their neighbour's horses escaped and ended up in their front yard.
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* AndHereHeComesNow: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/hold-your-horses-2/221697/ this story]], the submitter's parents are talking to a police officer about how their neighbour's horses ended up in their front yard.
-->'''Officer:''' "This isn’t the first time I’ve been called about these horses. Do you see them loose often?”\\
'''Mother:''' “No, this is a first for us. The goat, on the other hand—”\\
'''Officer:''' "There's a goat?"\\
'''Father:''' "There's the goat!"\\
''<cue the neighbour's goat trotting down the street>''
-->'''Officer:''' "This isn’t the first time I’ve been called about these horses. Do you see them loose often?”\\
'''Mother:''' “No, this is a first for us. The goat, on the other hand—”\\
'''Officer:''' "There's a goat?"\\
'''Father:''' "There's the goat!"\\
''<cue the neighbour's goat trotting down the street>''
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Changed line(s) 159 (click to see context) from:
* {{Jerkass}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/making-a-lot-of-fake-noise/132462/ A man who very loudly works on his truck the middle of the night]] and keeps his neighbors up blows off anyone who asks him to stop and continues to work on his truck at unreasonable times, resulting in the people of the neighborhood filing noise complaints to the city about him. Incensed, the man retaliates by barraging the noise complaint website with bogus noise complaints about ''them'' (including easily disproven ones such as complaints about noisy dogs which implicated people who didn't have any), and arguing with the police officers who come out to investigate. Ultimately, [[LaserGuidedKarma all this does is get the man arrested for the fraudulent noise complaints and fighting with the officers]].
to:
* {{Jerkass}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/making-a-lot-of-fake-noise/132462/ A man who very loudly works on his truck the middle of the night]] and keeps his neighbors up blows off anyone who asks him to stop and continues to work on his truck at unreasonable times, resulting in the people of the neighborhood filing noise complaints to the city about him. Incensed, the man retaliates by barraging the noise complaint website with bogus noise complaints about ''them'' (including easily disproven ones such as complaints about noisy dogs which implicated people who didn't have any), and arguing with the police officers who come out to investigate. Ultimately, [[LaserGuidedKarma all this does is get the man arrested for the fraudulent noise complaints and fighting with the officers]].Now has [[Jerkass/NotAlwaysRight its own page]].
Changed line(s) 301,307 (click to see context) from:
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** The 911 operator in [[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-just-have-to-bear-with-them/114624/ this story]] fails to understand that the submitter is asking for animal control to deal with [[BearsAreBadNews a bear in the basement]] because she's blindly following the wrong emergency response card without actually listening to the submitter, leaving the responding officer shocked when the bear turns out to be an actual bear and not, as they apparently believed, "[[TheBear a big, hairy, gay guy]]".
** A text-based emergency service for deaf people [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-deafening-lack-of-listening/116278/ refuses to help a deaf person]] because they didn't call the police... because, you know, ''deaf''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theres-patience-and-then-theres-whatever-this-is/220891/ The cousin in this story]] adamantly believes that a classmate is troubled and lashing out due to a lack of friends. She maintains this view as the classmate's offenses progressively worsen, going from deliberately contaminating food to get fired to selling prescription medicine, to two separate attempts at robbery (for which he got arrested and tried both times as an adult), with the clear implication that the classmate doesn't ''want'' to improve himself. This goes to the point where the two of them end up married (during the classmate's second stint in prison).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-be-a-pawn-in-her-game/244729/ A woman on Facebook]] calls the police on the submitter because she bought a sewing machine at a pawn shop, and she's adamantly convinced that it was stolen. Even when the submitter points out that pawn shops have very strict laws and regulations in place to avoid such scenarios, and the legal accountability would fall on them if she did indeed buy a stolen product, the woman continues to insist that what the submitter did is illegal and that she's going to jail. The local sheriffs openly laugh at her report due to how ridiculous it is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-way-to-weed-bad-friends-out-of-your-life/269760/ This "friend"]] is utterly baffled when the submitter gets mad at them for stealing and selling their car for weed and booze, and constantly whines about how much of a deal is being made out of it [[InsaneTrollLogic (but he gave back a cut of the money he made, that should make it alright!)]] right up until the cops force the notion through his head that it was a crime.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a multilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two (and cannot seem to wrap his mind around the employee knowing more than two) under the assumption that the employee would obviously know how to speak Spanish (which it turned out he didn't), leading to the fired employee suing him.
** The 911 operator in [[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-just-have-to-bear-with-them/114624/ this story]] fails to understand that the submitter is asking for animal control to deal with [[BearsAreBadNews a bear in the basement]] because she's blindly following the wrong emergency response card without actually listening to the submitter, leaving the responding officer shocked when the bear turns out to be an actual bear and not, as they apparently believed, "[[TheBear a big, hairy, gay guy]]".
** A text-based emergency service for deaf people [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-deafening-lack-of-listening/116278/ refuses to help a deaf person]] because they didn't call the police... because, you know, ''deaf''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theres-patience-and-then-theres-whatever-this-is/220891/ The cousin in this story]] adamantly believes that a classmate is troubled and lashing out due to a lack of friends. She maintains this view as the classmate's offenses progressively worsen, going from deliberately contaminating food to get fired to selling prescription medicine, to two separate attempts at robbery (for which he got arrested and tried both times as an adult), with the clear implication that the classmate doesn't ''want'' to improve himself. This goes to the point where the two of them end up married (during the classmate's second stint in prison).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-be-a-pawn-in-her-game/244729/ A woman on Facebook]] calls the police on the submitter because she bought a sewing machine at a pawn shop, and she's adamantly convinced that it was stolen. Even when the submitter points out that pawn shops have very strict laws and regulations in place to avoid such scenarios, and the legal accountability would fall on them if she did indeed buy a stolen product, the woman continues to insist that what the submitter did is illegal and that she's going to jail. The local sheriffs openly laugh at her report due to how ridiculous it is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-way-to-weed-bad-friends-out-of-your-life/269760/ This "friend"]] is utterly baffled when the submitter gets mad at them for stealing and selling their car for weed and booze, and constantly whines about how much of a deal is being made out of it [[InsaneTrollLogic (but he gave back a cut of the money he made, that should make it alright!)]] right up until the cops force the notion through his head that it was a crime.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a multilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two (and cannot seem to wrap his mind around the employee knowing more than two) under the assumption that the employee would obviously know how to speak Spanish (which it turned out he didn't), leading to the fired employee suing him.
to:
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** The 911 operator in [[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-just-have-to-bear-with-them/114624/ this story]] fails to understand that the submitter is asking for animal control to deal with [[BearsAreBadNews a bear in the basement]] because she's blindly following the wrong emergency response card without actually listening to the submitter, leaving the responding officer shocked when the bear turns out to be an actual bear and not, as they apparently believed, "[[TheBear a big, hairy, gay guy]]".
** A text-based emergency service for deaf people [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-deafening-lack-of-listening/116278/ refuses to help a deaf person]] because they didn't call the police... because, you know, ''deaf''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theres-patience-and-then-theres-whatever-this-is/220891/ The cousin in this story]] adamantly believes that a classmate is troubled and lashing out due to a lack of friends. She maintains this view as the classmate's offenses progressively worsen, going from deliberately contaminating food to get fired to selling prescription medicine, to two separate attempts at robbery (for which he got arrested and tried both times as an adult), with the clear implication that the classmate doesn't ''want'' to improve himself. This goes to the point where the two of them end up married (during the classmate's second stint in prison).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-be-a-pawn-in-her-game/244729/ A woman on Facebook]] calls the police on the submitter because she bought a sewing machine at a pawn shop, and she's adamantly convinced that it was stolen. Even when the submitter points out that pawn shops have very strict laws and regulations in place to avoid such scenarios, and the legal accountability would fall on them if she did indeed buy a stolen product, the woman continues to insist that what the submitter did is illegal and that she's going to jail. The local sheriffs openly laugh at her report due to how ridiculous it is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-way-to-weed-bad-friends-out-of-your-life/269760/ This "friend"]] is utterly baffled when the submitter gets mad at them for stealing and selling their car for weed and booze, and constantly whines about how much of a deal is being made out of it [[InsaneTrollLogic (but he gave back a cut of the money he made, that should make it alright!)]] right up until the cops force the notion through his head that it was a crime.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinkingTheyJustDontGetIt: Now has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a multilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two (and cannot seem to wrap his mind around the employee knowing more than two) under the assumption that the employee would obviously know how to speak Spanish (which it turned out he didn't), leading to the fired employee suing him.[[TheyJustDontGetIt/NotAlwaysRight its own page]].
** The 911 operator in [[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-just-have-to-bear-with-them/114624/ this story]] fails to understand that the submitter is asking for animal control to deal with [[BearsAreBadNews a bear in the basement]] because she's blindly following the wrong emergency response card without actually listening to the submitter, leaving the responding officer shocked when the bear turns out to be an actual bear and not, as they apparently believed, "[[TheBear a big, hairy, gay guy]]".
** A text-based emergency service for deaf people [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-deafening-lack-of-listening/116278/ refuses to help a deaf person]] because they didn't call the police... because, you know, ''deaf''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theres-patience-and-then-theres-whatever-this-is/220891/ The cousin in this story]] adamantly believes that a classmate is troubled and lashing out due to a lack of friends. She maintains this view as the classmate's offenses progressively worsen, going from deliberately contaminating food to get fired to selling prescription medicine, to two separate attempts at robbery (for which he got arrested and tried both times as an adult), with the clear implication that the classmate doesn't ''want'' to improve himself. This goes to the point where the two of them end up married (during the classmate's second stint in prison).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-be-a-pawn-in-her-game/244729/ A woman on Facebook]] calls the police on the submitter because she bought a sewing machine at a pawn shop, and she's adamantly convinced that it was stolen. Even when the submitter points out that pawn shops have very strict laws and regulations in place to avoid such scenarios, and the legal accountability would fall on them if she did indeed buy a stolen product, the woman continues to insist that what the submitter did is illegal and that she's going to jail. The local sheriffs openly laugh at her report due to how ridiculous it is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-way-to-weed-bad-friends-out-of-your-life/269760/ This "friend"]] is utterly baffled when the submitter gets mad at them for stealing and selling their car for weed and booze, and constantly whines about how much of a deal is being made out of it [[InsaneTrollLogic (but he gave back a cut of the money he made, that should make it alright!)]] right up until the cops force the notion through his head that it was a crime.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking
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Changed line(s) 169,178 (click to see context) from:
* LaserGuidedKarma:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tailgate-meet-their-tail-fate/116265/ This driver]] decided to start tailgating another car for no apparent reason (there was almost no traffic on the road, so he could have simply passed the car at any time). Turns out the car being tailgated was an undercover cop car.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-bicycle-wheels-of-karmic-justice/118347/ While two teenage shoplifters are being detained]], two other teenagers steal their bicycles.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/she-slipped-up/126271/ This woman's]] attempt to fake an injury not only ends up with her being legitimately hurt, but her lawyer drops the case after being handed evidence showing that the woman was completely at fault because she had been trying to scam the store.
** Some kids throwing lit firecrackers into a crowded street [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-year-ended-with-a-karmic-bang/180549/ hit a police car with one]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-super-bowl-special-didnt-taste-as-good-when-it-arrived/180764/ This customer threatens]] to shoot a pizza place and harm the submitter's girlfriend if the pizza place doesn't honor a (non-existent) ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree policy for his large orders of pizza. He instead got arrested for his threat.
** A guy rummaging in people's bags for loose valuables [[https://notalwaysright.com/inadvertent-biological-warfare/222511/ ends up with a handful of used tissues]].
** The father in [[https://notalwaysright.com/karmas-working-overtime-today/242802/ this story]] is berating his daughter for losing control of her car in bad weather and going into a ditch (and describing anyone who would do such a thing as 'very stupid'), up until the point when he gets chewed out by the emergency responder and the sheriff's deputy for making such a big deal over an honest mistake. The tirade is continued by the tow truck driver, who confirms that the car is still good to drive. The father angrily speeds off... then hits a puddle and slides his own car into the same ditch 300 feet further down the road, fast enough to do the car serious damage (at least ''$6,000'', and due to its age, it could easily be done for).
** Back when traveling from one European country to another required customs/border checks, [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-love-consequences/242808/ this guy]] found himself behind at least 100 other cars at the Spain-France border. He decided to pull into the emergency lane and speed ahead of everyone else, pulling back into the line just before the border crossing station. Then the ''gendarme'' on duty flagged his car over and had him park in the median to wait until all the cars he'd cut in front of crossed the border.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/anaphylactic-shocking-carelessness/303573/ A cook,]] when presented with a customer request for no cod in a mixed fish meal due to allergy, decides that the allergy isn't real and puts it in anyway. The customer has a severe allergic reaction and has to be hospitalized for two days. The cook loses her job, is blacklisted from her profession, and gets a ''ten year'' suspended prison sentence plus a criminal record for poisoning and attempted murder by negligence.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tailgate-meet-their-tail-fate/116265/ This driver]] decided to start tailgating another car for no apparent reason (there was almost no traffic on the road, so he could have simply passed the car at any time). Turns out the car being tailgated was an undercover cop car.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-bicycle-wheels-of-karmic-justice/118347/ While two teenage shoplifters are being detained]], two other teenagers steal their bicycles.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/she-slipped-up/126271/ This woman's]] attempt to fake an injury not only ends up with her being legitimately hurt, but her lawyer drops the case after being handed evidence showing that the woman was completely at fault because she had been trying to scam the store.
** Some kids throwing lit firecrackers into a crowded street [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-year-ended-with-a-karmic-bang/180549/ hit a police car with one]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-super-bowl-special-didnt-taste-as-good-when-it-arrived/180764/ This customer threatens]] to shoot a pizza place and harm the submitter's girlfriend if the pizza place doesn't honor a (non-existent) ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree policy for his large orders of pizza. He instead got arrested for his threat.
** A guy rummaging in people's bags for loose valuables [[https://notalwaysright.com/inadvertent-biological-warfare/222511/ ends up with a handful of used tissues]].
** The father in [[https://notalwaysright.com/karmas-working-overtime-today/242802/ this story]] is berating his daughter for losing control of her car in bad weather and going into a ditch (and describing anyone who would do such a thing as 'very stupid'), up until the point when he gets chewed out by the emergency responder and the sheriff's deputy for making such a big deal over an honest mistake. The tirade is continued by the tow truck driver, who confirms that the car is still good to drive. The father angrily speeds off... then hits a puddle and slides his own car into the same ditch 300 feet further down the road, fast enough to do the car serious damage (at least ''$6,000'', and due to its age, it could easily be done for).
** Back when traveling from one European country to another required customs/border checks, [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-love-consequences/242808/ this guy]] found himself behind at least 100 other cars at the Spain-France border. He decided to pull into the emergency lane and speed ahead of everyone else, pulling back into the line just before the border crossing station. Then the ''gendarme'' on duty flagged his car over and had him park in the median to wait until all the cars he'd cut in front of crossed the border.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/anaphylactic-shocking-carelessness/303573/ A cook,]] when presented with a customer request for no cod in a mixed fish meal due to allergy, decides that the allergy isn't real and puts it in anyway. The customer has a severe allergic reaction and has to be hospitalized for two days. The cook loses her job, is blacklisted from her profession, and gets a ''ten year'' suspended prison sentence plus a criminal record for poisoning and attempted murder by negligence.
to:
* LaserGuidedKarma:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tailgate-meet-their-tail-fate/116265/ This driver]] decided to start tailgating another car for no apparent reason (there was almost no trafficLaserGuidedKarma: Now on the road, so he could have simply passed the car at any time). Turns out the car being tailgated was an undercover cop car.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-bicycle-wheels-of-karmic-justice/118347/ While two teenage shoplifters are being detained]], two other teenagers steal their bicycles.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/she-slipped-up/126271/ This woman's]] attempt to fake an injury not only ends up with her being legitimately hurt, but her lawyer drops the case after being handed evidence showing that the woman was completely at fault because she had been trying to scam the store.
** Some kids throwing lit firecrackers into a crowded street [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-year-ended-with-a-karmic-bang/180549/ hit a police car with one]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-super-bowl-special-didnt-taste-as-good-when-it-arrived/180764/ This customer threatens]] to shoot a pizza place and harm the submitter's girlfriend if the pizza place doesn't honor a (non-existent) ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree policy for his large orders of pizza. He instead got arrested for his threat.
** A guy rummaging in people's bags for loose valuables [[https://notalwaysright.com/inadvertent-biological-warfare/222511/ ends up with a handful of used tissues]].
** The father in [[https://notalwaysright.com/karmas-working-overtime-today/242802/ this story]] is berating his daughter for losing control of her car in bad weather and going into a ditch (and describing anyone who would do such a thing as 'very stupid'), up until the point when he gets chewed out by the emergency responder and the sheriff's deputy for making such a big deal over an honest mistake. The tirade is continued by the tow truck driver, who confirms that the car is still good to drive. The father angrily speeds off... then hits a puddle and slides his[[LaserGuidedKarma/NotAlwaysRight its own car into the same ditch 300 feet further down the road, fast enough to do the car serious damage (at least ''$6,000'', and due to its age, it could easily be done for).
** Back when traveling from one European country to another required customs/border checks, [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-love-consequences/242808/ this guy]] found himself behind at least 100 other cars at the Spain-France border. He decided to pull into the emergency lane and speed ahead of everyone else, pulling back into the line just before the border crossing station. Then the ''gendarme'' on duty flagged his car over and had him park in the median to wait until all the cars he'd cut in front of crossed the border.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/anaphylactic-shocking-carelessness/303573/ A cook,]] when presented with a customer request for no cod in a mixed fish meal due to allergy, decides that the allergy isn't real and puts it in anyway. The customer has a severe allergic reaction and has to be hospitalized for two days. The cook loses her job, is blacklisted from her profession, and gets a ''ten year'' suspended prison sentence plus a criminal record for poisoning and attempted murder by negligence.page]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tailgate-meet-their-tail-fate/116265/ This driver]] decided to start tailgating another car for no apparent reason (there was almost no traffic
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-bicycle-wheels-of-karmic-justice/118347/ While two teenage shoplifters are being detained]], two other teenagers steal their bicycles.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/she-slipped-up/126271/ This woman's]] attempt to fake an injury not only ends up with her being legitimately hurt, but her lawyer drops the case after being handed evidence showing that the woman was completely at fault because she had been trying to scam the store.
** Some kids throwing lit firecrackers into a crowded street [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-year-ended-with-a-karmic-bang/180549/ hit a police car with one]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-super-bowl-special-didnt-taste-as-good-when-it-arrived/180764/ This customer threatens]] to shoot a pizza place and harm the submitter's girlfriend if the pizza place doesn't honor a (non-existent) ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree policy for his large orders of pizza. He instead got arrested for his threat.
** A guy rummaging in people's bags for loose valuables [[https://notalwaysright.com/inadvertent-biological-warfare/222511/ ends up with a handful of used tissues]].
** The father in [[https://notalwaysright.com/karmas-working-overtime-today/242802/ this story]] is berating his daughter for losing control of her car in bad weather and going into a ditch (and describing anyone who would do such a thing as 'very stupid'), up until the point when he gets chewed out by the emergency responder and the sheriff's deputy for making such a big deal over an honest mistake. The tirade is continued by the tow truck driver, who confirms that the car is still good to drive. The father angrily speeds off... then hits a puddle and slides his
** Back when traveling from one European country to another required customs/border checks, [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-love-consequences/242808/ this guy]] found himself behind at least 100 other cars at the Spain-France border. He decided to pull into the emergency lane and speed ahead of everyone else, pulling back into the line just before the border crossing station. Then the ''gendarme'' on duty flagged his car over and had him park in the median to wait until all the cars he'd cut in front of crossed the border.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/anaphylactic-shocking-carelessness/303573/ A cook,]] when presented with a customer request for no cod in a mixed fish meal due to allergy, decides that the allergy isn't real and puts it in anyway. The customer has a severe allergic reaction and has to be hospitalized for two days. The cook loses her job, is blacklisted from her profession, and gets a ''ten year'' suspended prison sentence plus a criminal record for poisoning and attempted murder by negligence.
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Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
* BrokenRecord: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-take-nice-ride-in-cop-car/304725/ This would-be car buyer]] insists that he only pays $3,000 for a car when the submitter was asking for $10,000. When the submitter points this out, the guy insists "You take $3,000!" over and over and over.
to:
* BrokenRecord: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-take-nice-ride-in-cop-car/304725/ This would-be car buyer]] insists that he only pays $3,000 for a car when the submitter was asking for $10,000. When the submitter points this out, the guy insists "You take $3,000!" over and over and over.over, even as he chucks a rock at the car.
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Added DiffLines:
* BrokenRecord: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-take-nice-ride-in-cop-car/304725/ This would-be car buyer]] insists that he only pays $3,000 for a car when the submitter was asking for $10,000. When the submitter points this out, the guy insists "You take $3,000!" over and over and over.
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Added DiffLines:
* TamperingWithFoodAndDrink: The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/dodging-multiple-bullets-at-once/304691/ this story]] attends a party at a newly constructed deck, leaves her drink unattended, gets roofied, falls asleep under a parked car, and misses the deck collapsing and the police arresting everyone involved.
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* BunnyEarsLawyer: There's a series of stories about an odd buck named Peter who has learning differences and is a bit socially stilted but is a highly effective employee regardless. Highlights include:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-accident-kboom-explode-on-his-watch/278550/ Forcing a lieutenant to submit to security procedures that the lieutenant himself wrote.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-neglected-post-on-his-watch/300126/ Yelling at people for not bothering to serve post to a certain town.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-lapses-in-security-on-his-watch/303574/ Climbing a fence to deliver a package because nobody responded at the front gate.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-accident-kboom-explode-on-his-watch/278550/ Forcing a lieutenant to submit to security procedures that the lieutenant himself wrote.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-neglected-post-on-his-watch/300126/ Yelling at people for not bothering to serve post to a certain town.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-lapses-in-security-on-his-watch/303574/ Climbing a fence to deliver a package because nobody responded at the front gate.]]
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* LifesavingMisfortune: The submitter attends [[https://notalwaysright.com/dodging-multiple-bullets-at-once/304691/ a party]] that a frat is throwing to celebrate the construction of their new deck. After returning from the bathroom and drinking her drink, it's obvious that she's just been roofied, so seeking refuge she leaves the party and goes to sleep underneath a parked car. She wakes back up to a disaster area - it turned out that while she was asleep, the deck collapsed, resulting in numerous injuries, including burns on people set on fire by the grill, and the police had arrested basically everybody they could involved, having missed her because of her choice of sleeping spot. As the title notes, she dodged multiple bullets that night: Not being on the deck when it collapsed, not being in the party when the police came in, not being sexually assaulted by whoever drugged her drink, and not being run over by the car she was sleeping underneath.
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* ItsAllAboutMe:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-a-car-i-am-a-bus-your-move/138856/ This man]] tries to cut off a bus and causes an enormous traffic pile-up as he tries to force the bus to move out of his way. He refuses to move and tries to attack everyone who comes to tell him to move, including ''the police'', all because he thought he was above the law and that the world had to move for him. [[LaserGuidedKarma His egomaniac behavior gets his driver's license revoked and lands him in jail and with several fines, including an assault charge made by a truck driver he hit.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-worst-kind-of-entitled-jerk/260827/ This woman]] encounters a tow truck and several vehicles blocking her road, and flips her lid, demanding that they move immediately or she's calling the police, ignorant (and seemingly uncaring) of the fact that they ''are'' with the police and in fact are recovering a vehicle involved in a fatal accident. When the first squad officer to arrive arrests ''her'', she detonates, ultimately ending up with [[LaserGuidedKarma eighteen weekends in jail]] for obstruction, assault on a police officer, misuse of 911, interfering with an investigation, and tampering with evidence (for attempting to spit on the tow truck driver).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This woman]] supposedly got cut off by an ambulance responding to a call, and is absolutely irate not only that they did it but moreso that they're prioritizing tending to a man having a heart attack over appeasing her. She then proceeds to whip out pepper spray and not only sprays the two [=EMTs=] but also '''the heart attack victim''', screaming that they're too young to be having a heart attack, at which point bystanders have to step in and restrain her. Once the police arrive she then adds resisting arrest to her growing rap sheet, starting with the standard It's All About Me line: "Do you know who I am?!"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-a-car-i-am-a-bus-your-move/138856/ This man]] tries to cut off a bus and causes an enormous traffic pile-up as he tries to force the bus to move out of his way. He refuses to move and tries to attack everyone who comes to tell him to move, including ''the police'', all because he thought he was above the law and that the world had to move for him. [[LaserGuidedKarma His egomaniac behavior gets his driver's license revoked and lands him in jail and with several fines, including an assault charge made by a truck driver he hit.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-worst-kind-of-entitled-jerk/260827/ This woman]] encounters a tow truck and several vehicles blocking her road, and flips her lid, demanding that they move immediately or she's calling the police, ignorant (and seemingly uncaring) of the fact that they ''are'' with the police and in fact are recovering a vehicle involved in a fatal accident. When the first squad officer to arrive arrests ''her'', she detonates, ultimately ending up with [[LaserGuidedKarma eighteen weekends in jail]] for obstruction, assault on a police officer, misuse of 911, interfering with an investigation, and tampering with evidence (for attempting to spit on the tow truck driver).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This woman]] supposedly got cut off by an ambulance responding to a call, and is absolutely irate not only that they did it but moreso that they're prioritizing tending to a man having a heart attack over appeasing her. She then proceeds to whip out pepper spray and not only sprays the two [=EMTs=] but also '''the heart attack victim''', screaming that they're too young to be having a heart attack, at which point bystanders have to step in and restrain her. Once the police arrive she then adds resisting arrest to her growing rap sheet, starting with the standard It's All About Me line: "Do you know who I am?!"
to:
* ItsAllAboutMe:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-a-car-i-am-a-bus-your-move/138856/ This man]] tries to cut off a bus and causes an enormous traffic pile-up as he tries to force the bus to move out of his way. He refuses to move and tries to attack everyone who comes to tell him to move, including ''the police'', all because he thought he was above the law and that the world had to move for him. [[LaserGuidedKarma His egomaniac behavior gets his driver's license revoked and lands him in jail and with several fines, including an assault charge made by a truck driver he hit.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-worst-kind-of-entitled-jerk/260827/ This woman]] encounters a tow truck and several vehicles blocking her road, and flips her lid, demanding that they move immediately or she's calling the police, ignorant (and seemingly uncaring) of the fact that they ''are'' with the police and in fact are recovering a vehicle involved in a fatal accident. When the first squad officer to arrive arrests ''her'', she detonates, ultimately ending up with [[LaserGuidedKarma eighteen weekends in jail]] for obstruction, assault on a police officer, misuse of 911, interfering with an investigation, and tampering with evidence (for attempting to spitItsAllAboutMe: As can be seen on the tow truck driver).
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This woman]] supposedly got cut off by an ambulance responding to a call, and is absolutely irate not only that they did it but moreso that they're prioritizing tending to a man having a heart attack over appeasing her. She then proceeds to whip out pepper spray and not only sprays the two [=EMTs=] but also '''the heart attack victim''', screaming that they're too young to be having a heart attack, at which point bystanders have to step in and restrain her. Once the police arrive she then adds resisting arrest to her growing rap sheet, starting with the standard It's All About Me line: "Do you know who I am?!"[[ItsAllAboutMe/NotAlwaysRight omnibus page]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-a-car-i-am-a-bus-your-move/138856/ This man]] tries to cut off a bus and causes an enormous traffic pile-up as he tries to force the bus to move out of his way. He refuses to move and tries to attack everyone who comes to tell him to move, including ''the police'', all because he thought he was above the law and that the world had to move for him. [[LaserGuidedKarma His egomaniac behavior gets his driver's license revoked and lands him in jail and with several fines, including an assault charge made by a truck driver he hit.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-worst-kind-of-entitled-jerk/260827/ This woman]] encounters a tow truck and several vehicles blocking her road, and flips her lid, demanding that they move immediately or she's calling the police, ignorant (and seemingly uncaring) of the fact that they ''are'' with the police and in fact are recovering a vehicle involved in a fatal accident. When the first squad officer to arrive arrests ''her'', she detonates, ultimately ending up with [[LaserGuidedKarma eighteen weekends in jail]] for obstruction, assault on a police officer, misuse of 911, interfering with an investigation, and tampering with evidence (for attempting to spit
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This woman]] supposedly got cut off by an ambulance responding to a call, and is absolutely irate not only that they did it but moreso that they're prioritizing tending to a man having a heart attack over appeasing her. She then proceeds to whip out pepper spray and not only sprays the two [=EMTs=] but also '''the heart attack victim''', screaming that they're too young to be having a heart attack, at which point bystanders have to step in and restrain her. Once the police arrive she then adds resisting arrest to her growing rap sheet, starting with the standard It's All About Me line: "Do you know who I am?!"
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/anaphylactic-shocking-carelessness/303573/ A cook,]] when presented with a customer request for no cod in a mixed fish meal due to allergy, decides that the allergy isn't real and puts it in anyway. The customer has a severe allergic reaction and has to be hospitalized for two days. The cook loses her job, is blacklisted from her profession, and gets a ''ten year'' suspended prison sentence plus a criminal record for poisoning and attempted murder by negligence.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This crazy woman]] harasses a couple people for cutting her off at an intersection, and pepper sprays them when they don't respond to her. The reason they weren't talking to her (and probably the reason they cut her off)? They were ''paramedics assisting a heart attack victim''.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This crazy woman]] harasses a couple people for cutting her off at an intersection, and pepper sprays them when they don't respond to her. The reason they weren't talking to her (and probably the reason they cut her off)? They were ''paramedics in the middle of assisting a heart attack victim''.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This crazy woman]] harasses a couple people for cutting her off at an intersection, and pepper sprays them when they don't respond to her. The reason they weren't talking to her (and probably the reason they cut her off)? They were ''paramedics assisting a heart attack victim''.
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** The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heart attack''.* BadBoss:
to:
** The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heart attack''.attack''.
* BadBoss:
* BadBoss:
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Changed line(s) 29,30 (click to see context) from:
* BadassBystander: The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heart attack''.
* BadBoss:
* BadBoss:
to:
* BadassBystander: BadassBystander:
** When she realizes the coffee shop is being robbed by a man with a knife, [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-regular-hero/150607/ this regular customer]] [[ImprovisedWeapon throws her chair at him]], and her boyfriend pins him down until the police arrive.
** The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heartattack''.
attack''.* BadBoss:
** When she realizes the coffee shop is being robbed by a man with a knife, [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-regular-hero/150607/ this regular customer]] [[ImprovisedWeapon throws her chair at him]], and her boyfriend pins him down until the police arrive.
** The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heart
Deleted line(s) 36 (click to see context) :
* BadassBystander: When she realizes the coffee shop is being robbed by a man with a knife, [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-regular-hero/150607/ this regular customer]] [[ImprovisedWeapon throws her chair at him]], and her boyfriend pins him down until the police arrive.
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* BadassBystander: The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ this story]] is forced to intervene and restrain a crazy woman who, incensed that she was cut off on the road by active paramedics, pepper sprays two [=EMTs=] and ''the victim of a heart attack''.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/honestly-im-too-speechless-to-come-up-with-a-title-for-this-one-part-2/302092/ This woman]] supposedly got cut off by an ambulance responding to a call, and is absolutely irate not only that they did it but moreso that they're prioritizing tending to a man having a heart attack over appeasing her. She then proceeds to whip out pepper spray and not only sprays the two [=EMTs=] but also '''the heart attack victim''', screaming that they're too young to be having a heart attack, at which point bystanders have to step in and restrain her. Once the police arrive she then adds resisting arrest to her growing rap sheet, starting with the standard It's All About Me line: "Do you know who I am?!"
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* MustHaveCaffeine: [[https://notalwaysright.com/criminally-decaffeinated/120066/ This person]] calls 911 four times in 10 minutes to demand that the police stop blocking access to the gas station where she gets her coffee. Who cares that the station is closed because someone '''murdered the clerk''' and the homicide squad is still investigating -- and she insists that if they're not going to let her in, they should at least brew a pot of coffee for her and deliver it. The only reason she quit calling after the fourth time is one of the officers heard her screaming and came over to see what was wrong and promptly arrested her for disorderly conduct, assault on a police officer, disturbing the peace, and abuse of the 911 system, as two ''real'' emergency calls had to be rerouted to another dispatch center because she was tying up the line.
to:
* MustHaveCaffeine: MustHaveCaffeine:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/criminally-decaffeinated/120066/ This person]] calls 911 four times in 10 minutes to demand that the police stop blocking access to the gas station where she gets her coffee. Who cares that the station is closed because someone '''murdered the clerk''' and the homicide squad is still investigating -- and she insists that if they're not going to let her in, they should at least brew a pot of coffee for her and deliver it. The only reason she quit calling after the fourth time is one of the officers heard her screaming and came over to see what was wrong and promptly arrested her for disorderly conduct, assault on a police officer, disturbing the peace, and abuse of the 911 system, as two ''real'' emergency calls had to be rerouted to another dispatch center because she was tying up theline.line.
** A much sillier example occurs [[https://notalwaysright.com/gas-yourself-up-before-you-gas-up/302013/ here]], where the submitter's brain goes into autopilot and they drive off from a gas station without paying, thinking they had gone to a gas station with pre-pay pumps rather than one where you pay the attendant afterward. The submitter realizes this a few minutes after leaving and hastily does a U-turn back to the station. Luckily, the gas station attendant and the police officer the attendant called have a good sense of humor about it and cancel the police report.
--->'''Submitter''': Could you also add a double espresso, please?\\
'''Officer''': (''laughing'') Sounds like you needed that a little earlier, man!
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/criminally-decaffeinated/120066/ This person]] calls 911 four times in 10 minutes to demand that the police stop blocking access to the gas station where she gets her coffee. Who cares that the station is closed because someone '''murdered the clerk''' and the homicide squad is still investigating -- and she insists that if they're not going to let her in, they should at least brew a pot of coffee for her and deliver it. The only reason she quit calling after the fourth time is one of the officers heard her screaming and came over to see what was wrong and promptly arrested her for disorderly conduct, assault on a police officer, disturbing the peace, and abuse of the 911 system, as two ''real'' emergency calls had to be rerouted to another dispatch center because she was tying up the
** A much sillier example occurs [[https://notalwaysright.com/gas-yourself-up-before-you-gas-up/302013/ here]], where the submitter's brain goes into autopilot and they drive off from a gas station without paying, thinking they had gone to a gas station with pre-pay pumps rather than one where you pay the attendant afterward. The submitter realizes this a few minutes after leaving and hastily does a U-turn back to the station. Luckily, the gas station attendant and the police officer the attendant called have a good sense of humor about it and cancel the police report.
--->'''Submitter''': Could you also add a double espresso, please?\\
'''Officer''': (''laughing'') Sounds like you needed that a little earlier, man!
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-as-sorry-as-hes-gonna-be/301260/ This patient at a hospital]] responds to being told that he cannot schedule an upcoming surgery on a specific day (because it was already full) by threatening to gun down his doctor and his scheduler.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-as-sorry-as-hes-gonna-be/301260/ This medical board at a hospital]] cluelessly asks one of their clinics to allow a [[PersonaNonGrata banned]] patient to reschedule a cancelled surgery there because "he said he was sorry" for his previous behavior...which involved him threatening to shoot and murder his doctor and the (pregnant) scheduler for [[DisproportionateRetribution not being able to schedule his surgery on the day that he wanted]]. Luckily, the clinic soundly rejects the boneheaded response and calls the police on the patient anyway, and he goes to prison.
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** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/pretty-sure-neither-of-them-is-keeping-it-at-this-point/301259/ this]] story, the OP walks by the security office of the high rise he lived in with his wife at that point when he has to do a double take as he hears the conversation between two teens who are held back from fighting each other over whose "turf" the parking garage of the high rise is by two security officers. The OP doesn't stick around to the end, but since the police has already been called by the security officers, both teens were likely taken into custody.
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* ExactWords: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-son-of-a-gun-got-exactly-what-he-asked-for/301255/ this story]], a robber confronts the submitter's father at the store he works at and demands all of the money in the register. The father hands over the $60 in the register, not bothering to mention the $3000 in his jacket pocket that he was all set to walk over to the owner's house.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/if-only-hed-spend-that-much-effort-parenting-his-kids/301165/ This dad,]] ordered by the courts to pay a comic book store $2,000 in damages after he allowed his kids to break a display and the figurines inside it, decides the best way to get his petty revenge is to wait until the last day before he gets in further trouble and then attempt to pay the damages in backpacks full of loose change, apparently failing to consider that he wouldn't get his receipt until the whole lot had been counted and found accurate. On faced with the choice between waiting the hours for it to be counted or taking it back to the bank and getting bills, he reluctantly opts for the latter.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/customers-who-should-be-fired-as-customers-exhibit-a/299213/ This entitled customer]] starts yelling at a former worker (the OP) at a small store, thinking they are still employed and just trying to take all the imported American candy[[note]]the story takes place in Denmark[[/note]] for themselves. A shouting match ensues, causing a concerned customer (hearing the yelling and the word "steal" repeated several times) to bring two police officers over, catching the OP [[NotWhatItLooksLike in the middle of shouting at the customer]]. The OP almost certainly would have been the one to get in trouble...if not for the customer deciding to spitefully slap the OP in the face and then punch them in the stomach right in sight of the cops. The customer is handcuffed on the spot and the OP is not even questioned by the officers.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a bilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two and one of them isn't Spanish, leading to the fired employee suing him.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a bilingual multilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two and one of them isn't Spanish, (and cannot seem to wrap his mind around the employee knowing more than two) under the assumption that the employee would obviously know how to speak Spanish (which it turned out he didn't), leading to the fired employee suing him.
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** As the comments point out, [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-justice-jumps-to-judge-jurors/119159/ the seemingly harsh judge in this story]] ''is'' following the rules of jury selection. Schedule conflicts (lack of transportation, disability, lack of childcare, upcoming surgery etc.) only need to be documented and resolved before the selection; however, a genuine conflict of interests with the case (the charges hitting too close to home) ''requires'' immediate disqualification, and failure to do so could get the case overturned on appeal.
to:
** As the comments point out, [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-justice-jumps-to-judge-jurors/119159/ the seemingly harsh judge in this story]] ''is'' following the rules of jury selection. Schedule conflicts (lack of transportation, disability, lack of childcare, upcoming surgery etc.) only need to be documented and resolved before the selection; however, a genuine conflict of interests with the case (the (such as the charges being a TraumaButton or otherwise hitting too close to home) home, as was the case for the submitter) ''requires'' immediate disqualification, and failure to do so could get the case overturned on appeal.
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Changed line(s) 221 (click to see context) from:
** As the comments point out, [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-justice-jumps-to-judge-jurors/119159/ the seemingly harsh judge in this story]] ''is'' following the rules of jury selection. Schedule conflicts (lack of transportation, disability, lack of childcare, etc.) only need to be documented and resolved before the selection; however, a genuine conflict of interests with the case (as the submitter had) ''requires'' immediate disqualification, and failure to do so could get the case overturned on appeal.
to:
** As the comments point out, [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-justice-jumps-to-judge-jurors/119159/ the seemingly harsh judge in this story]] ''is'' following the rules of jury selection. Schedule conflicts (lack of transportation, disability, lack of childcare, upcoming surgery etc.) only need to be documented and resolved before the selection; however, a genuine conflict of interests with the case (as the submitter had) (the charges hitting too close to home) ''requires'' immediate disqualification, and failure to do so could get the case overturned on appeal.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-estupido-part-28/298845/ This client at a law firm]] is convinced that "bilingual" means (and ''only'' means) "can speak English and Spanish", rather than being able to speak two languages that aren't necessarily English and/or Spanish, even after multiple people explain it to him. In the story, this line of thinking has gotten the client in trouble after he hired and then immediately fired a bilingual employee who can speak ''six'' languages instead of two and one of them isn't Spanish, leading to the fired employee suing him.
