History Website / NotAlwaysLearning

* LethallyStupid: [[https://notalwaysright.com/name-seth-stone/113794/ This teacher]], who is convinced that a cisgender boy named Seth is, in fact, a transgender girl named Beth and "her" parents are transphobic, all because she misread his cursive handwriting and doesn't think "Seth" is a real name. The fact she's wrong on both counts is a very, ''very'' good thing, given her idiotic idea to confront the student's mother and accuse her of trans erasure rather than talk to the student in question to make sure this "transgender girl" actually ''is'' a transgender girl. Outing a trans girl to her parents against her will already makes you a danger to any transgender student. Outing a trans girl to her parents against her will ''when you think the parents are transphobic'' is so incomprehensibly idiotic that any death resulting from the abuse the parents will inflict on their so-called "son" for identifying as a girl should bring manslaughter charges.

* RidiculousProcrastinator: [[http://notalwaysright.com/due-tonight-vs-do-tonight/ "When is the paper due?" "Midnight."]] ([[TruthInTelevision hands up if you did this in college]])

* AbusiveParents:
** While it's not the focal point of [[https://notalwaysright.com/was-bra-ced-for-a-different-reaction/35572/ this story]], the submitter mentions that the reason she was delayed in coming to the school to handle an incident was because she was busy giving a seven-year-old stitches after he was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle.

** When someone says "[[IHaveNoSon I don't have a mother]]" on Mother's Day, ''[[https://notalwaysright.com/237119-2/237119/ maybe there's a damn good reason]]''.

* BavarianFireDrill: [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-solution-was-a-touchdown/319822/ This poster's college friend]] liked watching live football, but the student section of the stadium was stuck in a corner with lousy sight lines so the (overpriced) good seats could be saved for wealthy alumni. The friend was also a hobbyist photographer, and quickly learned that all he had to to was show up with two cameras (one with a zoom lens) and he could watch the whole game from the sidelines, no questions asked.

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/name-seth-stone/113794/ This teacher]] believes that the submitter has a daughter named "Beth," who is transgender and suffering from gender dysphoria. It turns out that the submitter's ''son'' is named Seth, and writes in cursive. When the submitter reveals this, the teacher simply accuses the submitter of misgendering and trans erasure, all the while refusing to believe that Seth is a name, having possibly never heard of Creator/SethRogen, Creator/SethGreen, Creator/SethMacFarlane, Creator/SethMeyers, or [[Literature/TheBible Seth]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers the son of Adam]].

* MyRuleFuIsStrongerThanYours: [[https://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-won/140602/ This teacher]] has a burning hatred of cell phones, and at the beginning of the year, makes all students in her class sign a contract stating that they won't have phones in class or risk confiscation of those phones. Pretty soon she sees a NewTransferStudent on his phone and makes him sign the contract. He then promptly goes back on his phone. The teacher wheels on him, but the student refuses to hand over his phone, pointing out that contracts signed by minors aren't legally binding. When the principal agrees with the student on this point, the teacher goes ''[[VillainousBreakdown ballistic]]'' and has to be restrained by security. The teacher would be fired and sent to anger management, while student received a detention for disrespecting his teacher. Not surprisingly, the student would later go to law school.

* FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence: [[https://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-won/140602/ This teacher]] has a burning hatred of cell phones to the point where if a student has a phone out in the hallway, she'll confiscate it, and makes all her students sign a contract stating they won't have their phones out. [[MyRuleFuIsStrongerThanYours After one student proves that as the students are minors, her contracts aren't legally binding]], she absolutely ''[[VillainousBreakdown loses it]]'' and has to be restrained by security. She would subsequently be fired and sent to anger management classes.

* FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence: [[https://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-won/140602/ This teacher]] has a burning hatred of cell phones to the point where if a student has a phone out in the hallway, she'll confiscate it, and makes all her students sign a contract stating they won't have their phones out. [[MyRuleFuIsStrongerThanYours After one student proves that as the students are minors, her contracts aren't legally binding]], she absolutely ''loses it'' and has to be restrained by security. She would subsequently be fired and sent to anger management classes.

* TechnologicallyBlindElders: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-have-to-be-smarter-than-the-smartboard/223953/ This old tenth-grade math teacher]] is a ''massive'' technophobe who doesn't like pocket calculators, let alone computers. So when the school forces him to work with a [=SmartBoard=], he is less than pleased. Eventually, he gets so frustrated with it that he [[PercussiveTherapy punches it until it breaks]], then ''rips it from the wall and [[DestinationDefenestration throws it out the third-story window]]''. Later on, when the school decides to add more technology, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere he decides that's a good time to retire]].

* ARareSentence: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/i-for-one-welcome-our-new-plastic-overlords/315281/ Class, please don’t start cults in the tech lab.]]"

* ARareSentence: [[http://notalwaysright.com/survival-of-the-fittest/ "There are some things I never thought I'd have to state at the front of a classroom."]] Such as "I've never felt 'Bear Grylls.'"

* NoodleIncident: [[https://notalwaysright.com/caving-in-to-the-question/ One student]] has negative thoughts about Montana because his uncle got lost out there and was eventually found naked in a cave. No further details are given.

* PapaWolf: [[https://notalwaysright.com/everyone-can-see-the-problem-here/216278/ This dad]] [[TranquilFury calmly and epically]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeed tore a teacher and vice-principal to shreds]] when they were bullying his daughter over wearing glasses.

* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers. This resulted in all of the students failing, when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure The normal teacher]] [[AlwaysABiggerFish and the principal]] thankfully intervene and [[LaserGuidedKarma the substitute is fired]], while the students get their correct grades. Still not willing to take accountability, he writes to the local newspaper and school board, accusing the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and demanding their expulsion because [[InsaneTrollLogic according to him, students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].

* TeachersUnfavoriteStudent: The English teacher in [[https://notalwaysright.com/few-things-are-as-gross-as-teachers-on-power-trips/310145/ this story]] has a naked disdain for the submitter. She goes out of her way to assign extra homework on days she knows the submitter is busy with extracurriculars, (by her own admission) grades the submitter more harshly than their classmates, offers an extra credit assignment that she knows the submitter won't be able to turn in before the due date, and refers to the submitter with demeaning nicknames such as "The Jock". The submitter gets their revenge by [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calling her out in their answers to feedback bonus questions during the final exam]], and when she brings the submitter to the principal's office [[VillainousBreakdown in tears]], [[HoistByHisOwnPetard it results in her being forced to begin accepting assignments by email and have her assignments signed off by the department chair]]. [[KarmaHoudiniWarranty The teacher is fired some years later]] when, [[TooDumbToLive despite being monitored now, she picks another student to use as a punching bag]].

** "Which tooth did you lose?" ''*holds up tooth*'' "[[http://notalwaysright.com/the-whole-tooth-and-nothing-but-the-tooth/ This one!]]"

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/socially-unacceptable/ This teacher]] has her sociology students, in a university, write down words they use to describe other people. That's the whole lesson. She giggles if any students give "naughty, sweary" words (as she puts it). The narrator of the story takes advantage of this to [[StealthInsult insult her to her face]], with such words as [[ManChild infantile]] and patronizing, and [[IResembleThatRemark she just cheers him/her on for having a big vocabulary.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/addressing-the-big-safety-elephant-in-the-room/ This vice-principal]] at a high school does an intercom speech regarding students jaywalking on school property... in a style that would be better suited for elementary school students.

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/her-lessons-arent-exactly-music-to-their-ears/194559/ This one]] teaches a college-level course that is supposed to teach other people how to teach music classes. Instead, she sits behind the piano and tells them all to sing children's songs. When called out, she basically stops trying to teach altogether.

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/be-careful-who-you-step-on-when-you-stamp-out-racism/239370/ This student]] gets accused of racism over such things as the saying "[[CallingMeALogarithm pot calling the kettle black]]" and playing the white side at chess against an African-American classmate. Both times, [[OnlySaneMan the classmate]] points out that the student's actions are clearly not racist, the saying is completely out of context and he ''chose'' the black side for chess, and is ignored. Finally, the teacher goes to the student's father to complain about their "racist" behavior… and gets read the riot act by a textbook ScaryBlackMan; [[FailedASpotCheck the accused student is mixed-race]].

* MondegreenGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-answer-is-not-satisfactchll/ Brings a spontaneous performance]] of "[[Film/SongOfTheSouth Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah]]" to a halt.

* MovingTheGoalposts: [[https://notalwaysright.com/time-to-vacate-the-classroom/159168/ This teacher]] wants her students to donate their money they made from their school newspaper to an animal charity she runs despite the fact the students are planning to use the money to help one of their poorer classmate to go on vacation with them. Refusing to accept this, she tries everything from shaming the poor classmate to refusing to accept the students all unanimously voted twice and stand by with their decision to outright threatening disciplinary actions. Thankfully, the principal put a stop to that teacher's antics.

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/trying-to-reverse-engineer-bigotry/ This substitute]] also seems to assume this about a female student in an engineering class. When the student is blocked from entering the class for the second day in a row, [[IAmSpartacus the entire class leaves in disgust]] until the regular teacher returns.

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-professor-dean-finitely-wont-be-back/ This professor]] tries to force a military veteran to move forward from the back of the classroom, and won't brook any argument. After the veteran leaves in disgust, one of the students (also disgusted with the professor's behavior) mentions that the veteran's uncle is the dean. The professor "resigned for personal reasons" a week later.

* MustHaveNicotine: [[https://notalwaysright.com/smoking-out-the-bad-instructors/196108/ This driving instructor,]] who cannot manage a full hour without a smoke, always taking ten minutes out of his hour-long sessions so he can do so. He also insists that the students have their driver's window open at all times, thought by the submitter to be because he's always smoking in his car and doesn't want to fill the vehicle up with smoke. It ends up biting him in the ass when he insists his students have the window open when it's freezing cold and raining heavily, so by the time the session ends the two students from that session are very cold and very wet, and when his bosses find out (about that, and about the unauthorized breaks) they [[LaserGuidedKarma fire him]].

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/parents-beef-teachers/95537/ This mother]] complains about the submitter "traumatizing" her daughter and teaching "how to kill an innocent animal," in the sense that he explained the basic concepts of where certain types of food came from. When the headmaster defends the submitter, the mother screams at the two, threatening to get them fired. She does so by showing up at the house of a board member, only leaving when the board member threatens to call the police, and removes the daughter from school on the grounds that it is "too provocative." She later gets arrested for assault and loses custody. The girl's father is implied to be a much better parent.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/therere-high-standards-and-then-theres-this/135304/ This mother]] grounds her son, forces him to attend literally every minute of in-school tutoring possible, calls him a high-school dropout, chews him out because another student smiled at him in greeting, and on and on. Why? Because, due to a quirk in the grading system that registered an incomplete part of a project as a zero, the otherwise straight-A student ''temporarily'' has a B in one class. Naturally, this explanation goes in one of the mother's ears and out the other, and she outright says that a B is 'teaching [her] son that ''failure'' is okay'. And as they're leaving, she continues to chew him out for 'flunking school' (her actual words).

* MyRuleFuIsStrongerThanYours: [[https://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-won/140602/ This teacher]] has a burning hatred of cell phones, and at the beginning of the year, makes all students in her class sign a contract stating that they won't have phones in class or risk confiscation of those phones. Pretty soon she sees a NewTransferStudent on his phone and makes him sign the contract. He then promptly goes back on his phone. The teacher wheels on him, but the student refuses to hand over his phone, noting that contracts signed by minors aren't legally binding. When the Principal agrees with the student on this point, the teacher goes ''ballistic'' and has to be restrained by security. The teacher would be fired and sent to anger management, while student received a detention for disrespecting his teacher. Not surprisingly, the student would later go to law school.

* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers. This resulted in all of the students failing, when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. The normal teacher and the principal thankfully intervene and the substitute is fired, while the students get their correct grades. Still not willing to take accountability, he writes to the local newspaper and school board, accusing the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and demanding their expulsion because [[InsaneTrollLogic according to him, students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].

* NoManOfWomanBorn: A student whose birthing parent has since transitioned to male snarks that [[https://notalwaysright.com/transitioning-to-a-more-accepting-viewpoint/237867/ he could kill Macbeth]], because he was born of a man.

* NotMeThisTime: [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ This story]], a follow-up to [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this one]], involves a series of petty thefts going on around the PE class (and often unusual things like single shoes, pencil cases and not phones or cash). Everyone immediately suspects the [[AttentionWhore attention-seeker]] who nearly got the submitter expelled in the first story, suspecting it to be yet another one of her many schemes to grab attention, but in the end it turns out to be a completely different student whom nobody really knew; she was stealing people's things and hiding them at her home just to be a {{Troll}}. She is eventually busted and everyone's items are returned to their rightful owners.

* NotWhatItLooksLike: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/speling-tests-are-a-speshal-kind-of-hecc/276956/ this story]], the submitter forgets to put away his spelling list before a test and is accused of cheating. Fortunately for him, the teacher notices he mispelled a word.

* ObstructiveCodeOfConduct: Many of the stories show an administrative policy that keeps the victims from defending themselves and lets the guilty get away. [[https://notalwaysright.com/bullied-into-bending-the-truth/180754/ It's especially horrific]] when the official policy is that bullying, no matter how criminal, does not happen unless a teacher ''sees it.'' For a full year, the pint-sized terror got away with it because the teachers were expressly forbidden from taking witness statements, because the bully would attack them while the teachers had their backs turned or were elsewhere, and then made it look like he was being attacked when the teachers showed up.

* OneDialogueTwoConversations: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-football-players-normally-wear-more-padding/254692/ this story]] the librarian, who knows a group has booked an A/V room to watch a football game, blithely assures a student awkwardly reporting a group watching "...non-school-related videos" that this is fine but, given the student's consternation, agrees to ask them to turn the noise down. It turns out the student wasn't talking about ''that'' group at all, but the cluster watching pornography on a library computer.

* PapaWolf: [[https://notalwaysright.com/everyone-can-see-the-problem-here/216278/ This dad]] calmly and epically tore a teacher and vice-principal to shreds when they were bullying his daughter over wearing glasses.

-->"Now, if you write something like, say… ‘The National Socialist movement outlawed Jewish business ownership and started a systematic purging of Jews from German economic and social life,’ and the comment in the margin says, ‘Excellent,’ that means I think you have done well, not that what the Nazis did was a good thing. Okay?"

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/living-in-1984/ This English teacher]] was brought in to teach literature so the students would understand references that will be used in college. Unfortunately, the rest of the staff, including the superintendent, suffer from this so badly that they want to spend four years focusing on "[[PublicMediumIgnorance the four classics]]", which doesn't include ''Literature/AnimalFarm'', ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'', or ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour''. The district's resident OnlySaneMan basically tells the English teacher to run for her sanity.

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/straight-up-now-tell-me-if-im-beyond-the-edge-of-glory/ This professor]] thinks Lady Gaga is named "The Gaga Lady." Even better, he only referenced her since he didn't think any of his students were old enough to remember Paula Abdul.

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-costumer-is-going-to-be-livid/267642/ Happens to a tech member]] who was already en route to the restroom when the speaker being used for a high school play unexpectedly starts playing music [[GaleForceSound at a ridiculously high volume]], scaring the daylights out of everyone.

* PowerPerversionPotential: One class goes into a discussion about [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-invisible-creep/202869/ what they would do if they could turn invisible]]. A male student says he would go to the girls' locker room, which is met with immediate revulsion from the rest of the class.

* TeachersUnfavoriteStudent: The teacher in [[https://notalwaysright.com/few-things-are-as-gross-as-teachers-on-power-trips/310145/ this story]] has a naked disdain for the submitter. She goes out of her way to assign extra homework on days she knows the submitter is busy with extracurriculars, (by her own admission) grades the submitter more harshly than their classmates, offers an extra credit assignment that she knows the submitter won't be able to turn in before the due date, and refers to the submitter with demeaning nicknames. The submitter gets their revenge by calling her out during the final exam, and the teacher is fired some years later when she picks another student to use as a punching bag.
* TechnologicallyBlindElders: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-have-to-be-smarter-than-the-smartboard/223953/ This old tenth-grade math teacher]] is a ''massive'' technophobe who doesn't like pocket calculators, let alone computers. So when the school forces him to work with a [=SmartBoard=], he is less than pleased. Eventually, he gets so frustrated with it that he [[PercussiveTherapy punches it until it breaks]], then ''rips it from the wall and throws it out the window''. Later on, when the school decides to add more technology, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere he decides that's a good time to retire]].

* FailedASpotCheck:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/for-goodness-psych/ This professor]] fails his listen check.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/students-can-be-fired/ This student]] fails to notice that her hand is on fire.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-double-take-is-aptly-named/ This professor]] fails to realize which sister is which when they decide to prank him. He's a psychology professor, so he later uses the incident as an example in the section of the class having to do with memory and pattern recognition.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cantonese-believe-im-hearing/108024/ The submitter and their friend]] both fail to notice their classmates in the background listening in to their conversation... or that they'd switched their conversation to Cantonese at some point.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-to-ruffle-the-professors-feathers/149266/ This professor]] yells at his secretary over a package he is expecting -- failing to notice that it is ''sitting on his desk''. So she tapes it up in his doorway at eye-level so he can't miss it... and he just ducks under it and again demands to know where it is.
** The counselors at [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-gift-of-using-their-eyes/218186/ this summer camp]] are incapable of telling a pair of identical twins apart -- except for the OP, who always can. The others spend ages trying to work out the difference between them, and always getting it wrong, until finally the camp director asks the OP how to tell the two apart. The answer? [[IdenticalTwinIDTag They wear different-colored sneakers and bathing suits.]]
** A very "yikes" example [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-is-terrifying-2/239768/ here]]; every Halloween an elementary school turns the building into a haunted house, and for the longest time one of the main elements was a maze wherein visitors had to run away from a chainsaw-wielding [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason Voorhees]]. "Jason"'s chainsaw normally had the chains removed so nobody would actually get hurt, but one year the actor forgot to remove the chain off the chainsaw... which nobody realized until in the middle of some kids' run through the school when "Jason"'s chainsaw ended up cutting clear through a wall when he pretended to swing at a kid. Unsurprisingly, "Jason" was dropped from all further haunted house events afterward.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-eyesight-rocks-or-does-it/266070/ This college professor]] complains that they nearly hit a large rock with their car and asks the school to remove it, which seems to have happened. Later on, a student comes in asking for the prof's help in dealing with a large snapping turtle that's wandered onto campus. Guess what the rock's true identity was? And to top it off, the professor teaches ''biology''.
--->'''Professor:''' I don’t have faith in [School] anymore.\\
'''Submitter:''' You’re the one who thought [the turtle] was a rock!\\
'''Professor:''' Fine. I also don’t have faith in my optometrist.

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/red-light-plight/ "Does this really mean 'I bought my girlfriend in Amsterdam'?"]] I had a look and told her, "No. It means 'I bought ‘a' girlfriend in Amsterdam'."

* SeinfeldIsUnfunny: [[https://notalwaysright.com/suddenly-wishes-not-to-be/33644/ This student]] thinks that Shakespeare is full of cliches, not realizing that he invented most of them. [[invoked]]