Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/professor-umbridge-teaches-english/141710/ This woman]] who teaches an English class for middle school-aged kids insists on reading the students' assigned books to the students herself, goes on long-winded tangents about her childhood, treats the students like they are much younger than they actually are, and assigns ridiculously simple one-page tests for the students to do, when they are at the age that they should be ready for essays, studying, and otherwise doing their assignments and homework themselves. The students put up with this for two years until the school administrator finally steps in and takes over the class, while the teacher is reassigned to an elementary school class.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 482 (click to see context) from:
* SingleBiomePlanet: [[https://notalwaysright.com/id-like-an-ice-cream-planet-myself/139844/ This student]] apparently can't wrap their head around the fact that [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 the Planet of the Apes]] is ''not'' one of these, convinced that it is the only kind of planet that can exist. When asked what sort of planet ''Earth'' is, in that case, the student replies that Earth is [[ShapedLikeItself an Earth planet]].[[note]] Of course, for added irony, the Planet of the Apes is [[EarthAllAlong also an "Earth" planet]].[[/note]]
to:
* SingleBiomePlanet: [[https://notalwaysright.com/id-like-an-ice-cream-planet-myself/139844/ This student]] apparently can't wrap their head around the fact that [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 the Planet of the Apes]] is ''not'' one of these, convinced that it is the only kind of planet that can exist. When asked what sort of planet ''Earth'' is, in that case, the student replies that Earth is [[ShapedLikeItself an Earth planet]].[[note]] Of [[note]]Of course, for added irony, the Planet of the Apes is [[EarthAllAlong also an "Earth" planet]].[[/note]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* SingleBiomePlanet: [[https://notalwaysright.com/id-like-an-ice-cream-planet-myself/139844/ This student]] apparently can't wrap their head around the fact that [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 the Planet of the Apes]] is ''not'' one of these, convinced that it is the only kind of planet that can exist. When asked what sort of planet ''Earth'' is, in that case, the student replies that Earth is [[ShapedLikeItself an Earth planet]].[[note]] Of course, for added irony, the Planet of the Apes is [[EarthAllAlong also an "Earth" planet]].[[/note]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Broken link.
Changed line(s) 153 (click to see context) from:
* CrazyPrepared: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-catch-red-handed/ This student]] is so used to people thinking her red hair is artificial because of her mixed Japanese-Irish heritage. When a teacher accuses her of breaking the school dress code, she pulls out a DNA test and detailed explanation of how her genes produce her hair colour. Apparently this has happened a lot.
to:
* CrazyPrepared: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-catch-red-handed/ com/cant-catch-you-red-handed/38081/ This student]] is so used to people thinking her red hair is artificial because of her mixed Japanese-Irish heritage. When a teacher accuses her of breaking the school dress code, she pulls out a DNA test and detailed explanation of how her genes produce her hair colour. Apparently this has happened a lot.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 145 (click to see context) from:
* ConversationalTroping: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/of-fourth-walls-and-poke-balls/ No breaking the fourth wall!]]"
to:
* ConversationalTroping: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/of-fourth-walls-and-poke-balls/ com/of-fourth-walls-and-poke-in/ No breaking the fourth wall!]]"
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/to-a-teenager-it-will-never-not-be-funny/139839/ "Class, I have two balls."]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 547 (click to see context) from:
* TwoDecadesBehind: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-blood-alcohol-level-that-does-not-compute/139835/ This high school's "IT" classes]] seem to cover the very ''very'' basics of computing...and by that we mean the students are learning about incredibly simple things such as what a keyboard and mouse are and how to save a word document; subjects that probably wouldn't have been ''too'' bad back during the genesis of personal computers in the 1970s and 1980s, but not in the mid-2000s when this story takes place and most people have [=PCs=]. On top of that, the students are required to save their work onto ''floppy disks'' when floppies had long since been mostly supplanted by the compact disc by that point in time. Even the teachers find the classes pointless and boring. It's after an incident involving bored students in one of the classes throwing their chairs around the classroom and out the door while their teacher gets blasted out of his mind with the alcoholic he brought into class because of how little he cares anymore that the students at the school begin campaigning for a overhaul of their "IT" classes. Fortunately, the faculty listens and by next year, new IT classes that are more with-the-times and teach more useful material have been established.
to:
* TwoDecadesBehind: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-blood-alcohol-level-that-does-not-compute/139835/ This high school's "IT" classes]] seem to cover the very ''very'' basics of computing...and by that we mean the students are learning about incredibly simple things such as what a keyboard and mouse are and how to save a word document; subjects that probably wouldn't have been ''too'' bad back during the genesis of personal computers in the 1970s and 1980s, but not in the mid-2000s when this story takes place and when most people have [=PCs=]. could easily own a PC. On top of that, the students are required to save their work onto ''floppy disks'' when floppies had long since been mostly supplanted by the compact disc and the then-brand new USB technology by that point in time. Even the teachers find the classes pointless and boring. It's after an incident involving bored students in one of the classes throwing their chairs around the classroom and out the door while their teacher gets blasted out of his mind with the alcoholic beverages he brought into class because of how little he cares anymore that the students at the school begin campaigning for a overhaul of their "IT" classes. Fortunately, the faculty listens and by next year, new IT classes that are more with-the-times and teach more useful material have been established.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* TwoDecadesBehind: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-blood-alcohol-level-that-does-not-compute/139835/ This high school's "IT" classes]] seem to cover the very ''very'' basics of computing...and by that we mean the students are learning about incredibly simple things such as what a keyboard and mouse are and how to save a word document; subjects that probably wouldn't have been ''too'' bad back during the genesis of personal computers in the 1970s and 1980s, but not in the mid-2000s when this story takes place and most people have [=PCs=]. On top of that, the students are required to save their work onto ''floppy disks'' when floppies had long since been mostly supplanted by the compact disc by that point in time. Even the teachers find the classes pointless and boring. It's after an incident involving bored students in one of the classes throwing their chairs around the classroom and out the door while their teacher gets blasted out of his mind with the alcoholic he brought into class because of how little he cares anymore that the students at the school begin campaigning for a overhaul of their "IT" classes. Fortunately, the faculty listens and by next year, new IT classes that are more with-the-times and teach more useful material have been established.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* InspectorJavert: The idiotic SadistTeacher in [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ these two]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ stories]], who is extremely bad at handling crimes supposedly committed by students, resulting in apologies from the headteacher and discipline for him when it turns out the student in question wasn't guilty. This may be down to a lack of objectivity with regards to a notorious AttentionWhore that both stories anonymise as Problem Girl. When Problem Girl tries to frame another girl, the submitter of both stories, for cyberbullying, this teacher, failing to recognise it as a WoundedGazelleGambit, approaches the submitter out of the blue, [[ConfirmationBias misinterprets her bewilderment as cowardice]], refuses to explain what she's being accused of, and basically acts like confirmation of her guilt is a ForegoneConclusion from the very beginning, resulting in his suspension when Problem Girl ruins her scheme. Later, when students' belongings are being stolen by a kleptomaniac CloudCuckoolander, after initially refusing to help until a student's purse is stolen, he accuses a girl in a wheelchair of being the thief purely because the only other suspect at the time is Problem Girl and the cyberbullying incident hasn't taught him not to blindly defend her, and gloats at her when the submitter's policewoman grandmother arrives to defend that girl from the accusation after having heard of what this particular teacher did to her granddaughter, resulting in him being fired.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 101 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gives-new-meaning-test-hard/ A student who signs his tests "Megapenis"]] has the highest grades in the class.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gives-new-meaning-test-hard/ com/gives-new-meaning-to-the-test-being-hard/38356/ A student who signs his tests "Megapenis"]] has the highest grades in the class.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** The ObstructiveBureaucrat teacher from [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this story]] falls on their sword in [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ this one]] after not only [[AdultsAreUseless failing to help solve a rash of petty thefts at the school]] but also harassing and nearly getting a wheelchair-bound student arrested after jumping to the conclusion that she was responsible for the thefts through InsaneTrollLogic.
Added DiffLines:
* NotMeThisTime: [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ This story]], a follow-up to [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this one]], involves a series of petty thefts going on around the PE class (and often unusual things like single shoes, pencil cases and not phones or cash). Everyone immediately suspects the attention-seeker who nearly got the submitter expelled in the first story, suspecting it to be yet another one of her many schemes to grab attention, but in the end it turns out to be a completely different student who nobody really knew who was stealing people's things and hiding them at her home just to be a {{Troll}}. She is busted and everyone's items are returned to their rightful owners.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Deleted line(s) 457 (click to see context) :
* RedHerring: [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ This story]] makes repeated references to a "problem girl", who refuses to help when several other students' belongings go missing, and whom the teacher singles out to defend to the point of blatantly accusing and harassing another student. Clearly, Problem Girl is the one who did it, right? ''Wrong!''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* RedHerring: [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ This story]] makes repeated references to a "problem girl", who refuses to help when several other students' belongings go missing, and whom the teacher singles out to defend to the point of blatantly accusing and harassing another student. Clearly, Problem Girl is the one who did it, right? ''Wrong!''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 314 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/keeping-partnership-civil/90180/ This teacher]] tries to claim banning same-sex marriage is not bigotry since he can't marry a man since he's already married which a student calls out on the teacher for his poor excuse and won't explain and defend his views.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/keeping-partnership-civil/90180/ This teacher]] tries to claim banning same-sex marriage is not bigotry since he can't marry a man since he's already married married, which a student calls out on the teacher for his poor excuse and won't explain and defend his views.
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text-part-2/139273/ This problem teacher]] believes that the wheelchair-bound student, who didn't join their friends to look for the wallet one of them is missing, automatically means that they are the ones that took it. Completely ignoring the fact that the wheelchair cannot fit between the benches, meaning their search would have been physically difficult for them to do, and doesn't even consider that [[AttentionWhore Problem Girl]] was another student that didn't help look.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* AssholeVictim: [[https://notalwaysright.com/teaching-these-days-can-be-murder/118575/ This horrifying story]] had an unreliable teacher originally attempted to get memoralized by the school because he died. When it quickly came to light that [[spoiler:he had committed suicide after murdering his mother]], the student body lost ''all'' sympathy for him, and even the school stopped trying to give him a memorial.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 411 (click to see context) from:
* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers which failed all of the students when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. Instead, he wrote to the local newspaper and school board and accused the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and should be expelled as [[InsaneTrollLogic students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].
to:
* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers which failed answers. This resulted in all of the students failing, when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. Instead, The normal teacher and the principal thankfully intervene and the substitute is fired, while the students get their correct grades. Still not willing to take accountability, he wrote writes to the local newspaper and school board and accused board, accusing the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and should be expelled as demanding their expulsion because [[InsaneTrollLogic according to him, students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/therere-high-standards-and-then-theres-this/135304/ This mother]] grounds her son, forces him to attend literally every minute of in-school tutoring possible, calls him a high-school dropout, chews him out because another student smiled at him in greeting, and on and on. Why? Because, due to a quirk in the grading system that registered an incomplete part of a project as a zero, the otherwise straight-A student ''temporarily'' has a B in one class. Naturally, this explanation goes in one of the mother's ears and out the other, and she outright says that a B is 'teaching [her] son that ''failure'' is okay'. And as they're leaving, she continues to chew him out for 'flunking school' (her actual words).
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/refuses-to-elbow-out/91704/ This orchestra girl]] inexplicably injures herself and doesn't bother to check her knees or her elbow (where the injuries were) only saying that she's fine and can still play the French horn.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 452 (click to see context) from:
* RealityEnsues: Tell the teachers you're [[[[https://notalwaysright.com/money-makes-the-school-go-down/136770/ taking their pay for two months]] to pay for your daughter's wedding? They all walk out, [[HumiliationConga the students walk out when they hear about it, the school goes broke and closes]], [[OverlyLongGag you end up with no money for the lavish wedding you promised your daughter so SHE walks out, and your wife walks out since you've ruined your school AND your family]].
to:
* RealityEnsues: Tell the teachers you're [[[[https://notalwaysright.[[https://notalwaysright.com/money-makes-the-school-go-down/136770/ taking their pay for two months]] to pay for your daughter's wedding? They all walk out, [[HumiliationConga the students walk out when they hear about it, the school goes broke and closes]], [[OverlyLongGag you end up with no money for the lavish wedding you promised your daughter so SHE walks out, and your wife walks out since you've ruined your school AND your family]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* RealityEnsues: Tell the teachers you're [[[[https://notalwaysright.com/money-makes-the-school-go-down/136770/ taking their pay for two months]] to pay for your daughter's wedding? They all walk out, [[HumiliationConga the students walk out when they hear about it, the school goes broke and closes]], [[OverlyLongGag you end up with no money for the lavish wedding you promised your daughter so SHE walks out, and your wife walks out since you've ruined your school AND your family]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/money-makes-the-school-go-down/136770/ This school principal]] is trying to find a way to afford his daughter's wedding and European honeymoon. He decides the best idea is to not pay any of his teachers for ''two months'' to save up enough money since "you don't have bills to pay anyway". All the teachers promptly stage a palace coup and quit on the spot, forcing the school to close due to no employees. The principal's daughter is mad that she didn't get the wedding she promised and cuts all communication with him and the principal's wife divorces him for losing their only source of income. All of this because he felt his daughter's wedding was his top priority.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* HumiliationConga: [[https://notalwaysright.com/money-makes-the-school-go-down/136770/ This principal]] attempts to use his teachers' next two months of pay to finish paying for his daughter's wedding and honeymoon without even considering the fact or even seeming to understand that the teachers kind of ''need'' that money to pay their bills and accusing them of being "jealous and greedy" for not giving up two months worth of pay when they understandably protest. What happens next is essentially the principal's life [[DisasterDominoes coming crashing down]]: Once it becomes clear that the principal will refuse to budge and won't listen to them, the teachers all tell the principal where to stick it and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere quit on the spot]], and the entire student body walks out with them when they find out what happened, resulting in the school closing down and the principal ending up out of a job. Then his daughter severs ties with him because he couldn't pay for the rest of the wedding and her and her fiance's honeymoon like he promised and ruined her wedding as a result. Finally, his furious wife divorces him over the ruined wedding and his scheme causing him to lose their only source of income. [[LaserGuidedKarma He may have been asking for it]], but still, ''ouch....''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 123 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Teacher''':Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between [[Literature/LordOfTheRings Gondor, Mordor, Valinor, Numenor]], and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fartland]]. At least try reading what you copy!
to:
-->'''Teacher''':Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between [[Literature/LordOfTheRings [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Gondor, Mordor, Mordor]], [[Literature/TheSilmarillion Valinor, Numenor]], and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fartland]]. At least try reading what you copy!
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 123 (click to see context) from:
'''Teacher''':Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between [[Literature/LordOfTheRings Gondor, Mordor, Valinor, Numenor]], and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fartland]]. At least try reading what you copy!
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 122 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/only-getting-a-middleearth-grade-2/38622/ This cheater]] copy's another student answers but fails the test because the student he copied from actually wrote wrong answers using Lord of the Rings before erasing them with the correct answers.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/only-getting-a-middleearth-grade-2/38622/ This cheater]] copy's another student answers but fails the test because the student he copied from actually wrote wrong answers using Lord of the Rings down before erasing switching them out with the correct answers.right answers.
'''Teacher''':Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between [[Literature/LordOfTheRings Gondor, Mordor, Valinor, Numenor]], and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fartland]]. At least try reading what you copy!
'''Teacher''':Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between [[Literature/LordOfTheRings Gondor, Mordor, Valinor, Numenor]], and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fartland]]. At least try reading what you copy!
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/best-to-just-say-hakuna-matata-and-move-on/134592/ This teacher]] apparently believes that meerkats are a fictional animal species made up for ''Disney/TheLionKing'', and [[TheyJustDontGetIt seems to still not be convinced]] even when she sees pictures of real life meerkats on Google.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 193 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/all-hope-is-gone/101418/This teacher]] calls the submitter because her son listens to Slipknot ''outside'' of class. The submitter doesn’t see a problem with it, and the receptionist stated that no punishment would result just because a teacher doesn’t like Slipknot.
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/all-hope-is-gone/101418/This com/all-hope-is-gone/101418/ This teacher]] calls the submitter because her son listens to Slipknot ''outside'' of class. The submitter doesn’t see a problem with it, and the receptionist stated that no punishment would result just because a teacher doesn’t like Slipknot.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-dangerous-right/90651/ This substitute teacher]] believes and outright states that the submitter is an abuse survivor solely on the logic that he writes with his left handed.
* AchievementsInIgnorance: [[https://notalwaysright.com/suddenly-got-wood/116089/ This girl]] catches an errantly thrown piece of wood. She does this right as the wood is about to hit her, in spite of not having any physical training to hone her reflexes or even knowing it was there.
Changed line(s) 189 (click to see context) from:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/after-a-few-hundred-years-a-guy-cant-change-his-look/132438/ A group of kids]] are banned from recess for the day for the heinous crime of coloring Santa Claus's suit a color other than red on their Christmas coloring pages. (Or, in the case of one poor kid, coloring Santa's suit red, but coloring his gloves ''green''.)
to:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/after-a-few-hundred-years-a-guy-cant-change-his-look/132438/ A group of kids]] are banned from recess for the day for the heinous crime of coloring Santa Claus's suit a color other than red on their Christmas coloring pages. (Or, in the case of one poor kid, coloring Santa's suit red, but coloring his gloves ''green''.)''green'')
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-snake-around-behavior/91698/ This teacher]] personally takes the submitter’s daughter home from a trip to the zoo, because she thinks that liking snakes is an “unhealthy obsession” and “deviant behavior,” and that the teacher doesn’t like them. The submitter is quite angry, complains to the school and moves their daughter to a different school. Over the next week, the teacher attempts to have the student excluded for being aggressive and physically violent with other kids, which doesn’t work because other teachers vouch for the daughter. [[LaserGuidedKarma The teacher in question gets suspended and then moved to a role away from children.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/all-hope-is-gone/101418/This teacher]] calls the submitter because her son listens to Slipknot ''outside'' of class. The submitter doesn’t see a problem with it, and the receptionist stated that no punishment would result just because a teacher doesn’t like Slipknot.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-snake-around-behavior/91698/ This teacher]] personally takes the submitter’s daughter home from a trip to the zoo, because she thinks that liking snakes is an “unhealthy obsession” and “deviant behavior,” and that the teacher doesn’t like them. The submitter is quite angry, complains to the school and moves their daughter to a different school. Over the next week, the teacher attempts to have the student excluded for being aggressive and physically violent with other kids, which doesn’t work because other teachers vouch for the daughter. [[LaserGuidedKarma The teacher in question gets suspended and then moved to a role away from children.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/all-hope-is-gone/101418/This teacher]] calls the submitter because her son listens to Slipknot ''outside'' of class. The submitter doesn’t see a problem with it, and the receptionist stated that no punishment would result just because a teacher doesn’t like Slipknot.
Changed line(s) 208 (click to see context) from:
* EskimosArentReal: [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-carveem-all/37617/ This student]] mistakes a narwhal for a kind of Franchise/{{Pokemon}}.
to:
* EskimosArentReal: EskimosArentReal:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-carveem-all/37617/ This student]] mistakes a narwhal for a kind ofFranchise/{{Pokemon}}.Franchise/{{Pokemon}}.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/name-seth-stone/113794/ This teacher]] believes that the submitter has a daughter named “Beth,” who is transgender and suffering from gender dysphoria. It turns out that the submitter’s ''son'' is named Seth, and writes in cursive. When the submitter reveals this, the teacher simply accuses the submitter of misgendering and trans erasure, all the while refusing to believe that Seth is a name, having possibly never heard of Creator/SethRogan, Creator/SethGreen, Creator/SethMacFarlane, or Creator/SethMeyers.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-carveem-all/37617/ This student]] mistakes a narwhal for a kind of
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/name-seth-stone/113794/ This teacher]] believes that the submitter has a daughter named “Beth,” who is transgender and suffering from gender dysphoria. It turns out that the submitter’s ''son'' is named Seth, and writes in cursive. When the submitter reveals this, the teacher simply accuses the submitter of misgendering and trans erasure, all the while refusing to believe that Seth is a name, having possibly never heard of Creator/SethRogan, Creator/SethGreen, Creator/SethMacFarlane, or Creator/SethMeyers.
Changed line(s) 371 (click to see context) from:
* MistakenForRacist: "I don't like [[Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Tiana]]. I just don't like her color... [[https://notalwaysright.com/royal-colors/ I don't really like green]]."
to:
* MistakenForRacist: MistakenForRacist:
** "I don't like [[Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Tiana]]. I just don't like her color... [[https://notalwaysright.com/royal-colors/ I don't really like green]].""
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-asian-persuasion/87894/ The submitter]] here stops socializing with an Asian classmate because said classmate has a very bad attitude. The teacher calls the ''submitter'' racist when they attempt to explain this fact.
** "I don't like [[Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Tiana]]. I just don't like her color... [[https://notalwaysright.com/royal-colors/ I don't really like green]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-asian-persuasion/87894/ The submitter]] here stops socializing with an Asian classmate because said classmate has a very bad attitude. The teacher calls the ''submitter'' racist when they attempt to explain this fact.
Changed line(s) 389 (click to see context) from:
* MyBelovedSmother: [[http://notalwaysright.com/mom-knows-how-to-make-a-meal-out-of-it/ This mother]] is a little too desperate to make sure that her college-student son's eating enough.
to:
* MyBelovedSmother: MyBelovedSmother:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mom-knows-how-to-make-a-meal-out-of-it/ This mother]] is a little too desperate to make sure that her college-student son'seating enough.eating.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/parents-beef-teachers/95537/ This mother]] complains about the submitter “traumatizing” her daughter and teaching “how to kill an innocent animal,” in the sense that he explained the basic concepts of where certain types of food came from. When the headmaster defends the submitter, the mother screams at the two, threatening to get them fired. She does so by showing up at the house of a board member, only leaving when the board member threatens to call the police, and removes the daughter from school on the grounds that it is “too provocative.” She later gets arrested for assault and loses custody. The girl’s father is implied to be a much better parent.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mom-knows-how-to-make-a-meal-out-of-it/ This mother]] is a little too desperate to make sure that her college-student son's
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/parents-beef-teachers/95537/ This mother]] complains about the submitter “traumatizing” her daughter and teaching “how to kill an innocent animal,” in the sense that he explained the basic concepts of where certain types of food came from. When the headmaster defends the submitter, the mother screams at the two, threatening to get them fired. She does so by showing up at the house of a board member, only leaving when the board member threatens to call the police, and removes the daughter from school on the grounds that it is “too provocative.” She later gets arrested for assault and loses custody. The girl’s father is implied to be a much better parent.
Added DiffLines:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/examination-standards-fifty-years-date/102240/ This woman]] is given a low grade for her training to become a teacher (which would tank her chances at gaining employment) after she is told she has done a very good job. The logic that the board gives is that since the woman is married, she doesn’t need to work, and that they reserve the high grades for single women.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
NAR sister sites are now getting their own pages due to the Sister Sites page becoming too big
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
NAR sister sites are now getting their own pages due to the Sister Sites page becoming too big
Added DiffLines:
[[https://notalwaysright.com/learning/ Not Always Learning]] is a sister site of Website/NotAlwaysRight, added to the network in 2013. The site contains stories that take place in and around schools, featuring teachers good and bad, bullies getting owned, misadventures in test-taking, and lots more. ([[UnreliableNarrator As usual, remember to be careful sifting through these, as there's no way of knowing which stories are legit or not.]])
''Note: Due to a restructuring of the entire NAR site network, the hyperlinks below may or may not work anymore.''
!!Not Always Learning contains examples of:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Tropes A-I]]
* AbuseMistake:
** When a gym teacher finds out a student is fasting for [[UsefulNotes/{{Islam}} Ramadan]], he promptly excuses the student from running laps. Then the teacher happens to mention this to some other teachers, one of whom [[https://notalwaysright.com/fasting-day-isnt-hard-enough-already/91722/ calls in the school's Child Protective Services contact,]] believing that the student has an eating disorder and that the student's parents either don't care about his eating disorder or are the cause of it. "[Ramadan is] just a made up thing that people use to not feed their family." Luckily, every other adult in the room immediately realizes the mistake.
** When a teacher arrives at school with a black eye and bruised face, she tells her class that she fell on the stairs at home. One of the toughest guys in the class responds, [[https://notalwaysright.com/domestic-violence-101/101736/ "Are you sure that’s what happened? Or do you have a boyfriend the guys and I need to talk to?"]][[note]]It was just a fall.[[/note]]
* AccentDepundent:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/will-need-to-say-hell-marys/ This story]] works best with a West Texas accent, as the writer notes at the end. [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sperm-of-the-moment-answer/ This]] {{Mondegreen}} is more understandable if you know that the British pronunciation of cement is "SEE-mint" as opposed to the American "suh-MENT".
* AccidentalInnuendo: When the two finalists in a class competition both have the first name "Jack", the teacher announces [[https://notalwaysright.com/end-day-theyre-jerks/97023/ "Let's have a Jack-Off."]][[invoked]]
* AccidentalPublicConfession:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/adopting-a-new-teaching-style/ This example]] doubles up with TomatoInTheMirror; not only did the ''class'' not know that the submitter was adopted, ''neither did the submitter''.
** Inverted [[https://notalwaysright.com/o-dear/ here]], where the teacher ''thinks'' they are in this trope before the student reveals that they already knew they were adopted.
* {{Acrofatic}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sweat/ this woman.]]
* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/drawn-to-the-teacher/ This student]] got in the habit of drawing cartoons depicting his (generally disagreeable) biology teacher in humiliating situations, then throwing said cartoons in the trash after class. Said teacher revealed at the end of the year he'd actually ''rescued'' most of those drawings from the trash because he actually enjoyed them.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/nothing-halts-a-lesson-like-a-spot-of-rabies/ This]] kindergartener got bored reading Dick and Jane, so he convinced the class that Spot has rabies. According to the quip at the end, the teacher ''and'' the principal thought it was pretty amusing.
** "I think I’m going to have to write [[http://notalwaysright.com/ashen-cheer/ that one]] in my last wishes."
** "I guess that is technically true. [[http://notalwaysright.com/politically-incorrect-and-technically-correct/ Full credit for that answer]]."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/caught-red-bearded/ This teacher's assistant]] once answered the phone using "Captain Redbeard's room", referring to the teacher who, true to the name, had a red beard and was once the captain of the football team. Given the reaction of the teacher's assistant to the caller, it's implied that the caller was the teacher himself (certainly someone she didn't want to hear that), and the laughter on the line--and the fact that the staff called the teacher "Captain Redbeard" for the rest of the year--further implies this trope.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/terrorising-your-students/ This law teacher]] made and used an exam using the students' names for DumbCrooks or other silly situations, as a way to vent stress from putting up with them in class. The students loved it.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/handy-with-drama/ This student's goofy ad-lib]] during a rehearsal was used in the performance, according to the last line.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: All the alternate religion-themed drug-use slogans proposed [[http://notalwaysright.com/high-heaven/ here]] use it.
* AdultsAreUseless:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-get-the-principle-of-bullying/ This principal]] ''really'' misses the point of bullying, to the point that two parents watching a demonstration of the [[SarcasmMode brilliant counter-strategy]] call the principal out on it. He could probably learn a great deal from [[http://notalwaysright.com/gets-the-principle-of-bullying/ this teacher]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-those-who-can-teach-speech/ This principal]] is even worse: he actually threatens to punish the one teacher who is actually trying to help a victim of bullying.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/was-bra-ced-for-a-different-reaction/ Here]] most of the adults involved are useless.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/need-to-fire-their-fire-planner/ This]] seven-year-old OP is the OnlySaneMan on a school fire drill.
* AllGermansAreNazis: [[http://notalwaysright.com/international-relations-are-history/ Assumed by this seven-year-old]].
* AlphaBitch: [[http://notalwaysright.com/may-have-been-a-sister-but-nobody-missed-her/ This sorority sister]] [[MuggingTheMonster Mugs the Monster]], and eventually gets kicked out for her behavior.
* AnalogyBackfire: [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-lesson-bombed/ In this class]], the teacher tries to get across the meaning of a tragic World War II poem by comparing it to bombs falling on their school. Unfortunately for the teacher, bombs falling on their school is something the students ''want''.
* AnswersToTheNameOfGod:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/answering-to-a-high-school-er-power/ This teacher]] retorts with a "Smith-Will-Suffice" type line.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/oh-my-professor/ This professor]] [[AGodAmI introduces himself as such]].
* ArmorPiercingQuestion: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/race-card-is-double-sided-2/38098/ Are (your parents) racist, too?]]"
* ArtisticLicenseBiology: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/fallopian-noobs/ [Boy] has something stuck in his fallopian tubes!]]"
* ArtisticLicenseGeography[=/=]GlobalIgnorance:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-great-district-of-confusion/ "I am going to tell my professor you guys are giving out maps of Colombia!"]] Note that the map in question is a map of the ''District'' of Col'''u'''mbia -- Washington, D.C.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/why-cartesians-need-to-coordinate-with-cartography/ This math teacher]] doesn't seem to realize the impossibility of ''driving'' from Japan to China. ([[DontExplainTheJoke Japan is a set of islands.]])[[note]]It's technically possible to drive from Japan to China, but it would involve taking a car ferry to either Vladivostok in Russia or Busan in South Korea first in order to get around both the whole water thing and North Korea, with the latter involving a second car ferry from Incheon to get to China. Since you still have to ride boats across water, calling it "driving" from one to the other is something of a stretch.[[/note]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/do-juneau-how-stupid-you-sound/ Here's a case]] that qualifies as CriticalResearchFailure, as the ''entire class'' calls out the ignorant student. [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/contimental/ "The continent of Africa just elected their first woman president."]] Doubles as ComicallyMissingThePoint.
** Here's one by a ''teacher'' who's supposed to be ''teaching the subject'': [[http://notalwaysright.com/california-dreaming/ The capital of California is Los Angeles.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/down-blunder/ This teacher]] went to Australia, thinking it was actually Austria and being confused when nobody he met there spoke German.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/just-burst-their-kentucky-fried-bubble-part-2/ This receptionist]] tries to turn an exchange student from the UK away from an international dorm, reasoning that she can't be an international student because she's white.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This student.]] Her team was supposed to make a presentation about black women in South Africa during the 1960s... but she instead makes a biography about Oprah Winfrey. When her teammates point out that Oprah is African-American and not South African, her response is [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "You can't say South African! It's racist!]] [[WeAllLiveInAmerica It's African-American!]]" It gets worse once the rest of the class point this out.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-vocation-for-location-part-9/ Here]] we have an [[UpToEleven absolute trainwreck]] of poor geography knowledge: "Oh yeah, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris Paris]]. Isn’t that the country in England, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italy shaped like a shoe]]?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/common-sense-having-an-off-season/ Not one, but two university/college students]] do not understand how hemispheres work. Specifically, they confuse the east/west divide with the north/south divide and believe that it's winter in Germany when it's summer in North America.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/turns-out-not-so-great-britain/ This university secretary]] insists a student who was born in England but lived in America his whole life needs to take an English-language proficiency test despite the student speaking perfect English. Even worse, she doesn't believe his explanation that England is part of United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, one of the countries exempt from the test, because England is not in the name of the country. Thankfully, her supervisor is smarter and makes sure to educate her staff better about the UK so nothing like that will happen again.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/totally-incontinent/ Three students]] who have no idea where Egypt is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/mexicant-believe-youre-hearing/ This American teacher]] arrogantly claims Mexico is located in South America when it's actually in North America. When one student points out the mistake, he sends the student to the principal for "disrupting the class" only to learn later to his anger and embarrassment that not only did the principal agree that the student was correct and did nothing wrong but he was going to have a talk with the teacher later.
** Maybe, like [[https://notalwaysright.com/mexicant-believe-it-2/ this student]], the above teacher mistakenly thought Mexico was part of the US.
--->[[LampshadeHanging How did I get to seventh grade without knowing that?!]]
* ArtisticLicenseHistory:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/every-school-needs-an-animus/ Stories]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/every-school-needs-an-animus-part-2/ named]] "Every School Needs [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed An Animus]]", in which students believe the ''Assassin's Creed'' series is true to history.
** UsefulNotes/WorldWarI: [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-war-against-ignorance/ the war where]] we [[TheWarOnTerror prevented Saddam Hussein from obtaining WMDs]] by [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar freeing the slaves.]] After which [[UsefulNotes/CivilRightsMovement Rosa Parks became the President]], which caused [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII Hitler]] to lead the South in secession.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/et-tu-brute-spoilers/107136/ One student]] thought Julius Caesar was a fictional character while another thought Caesar was a woman.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-class-is-bombing/38993/ This senile history teacher]] has the events of World War 2's Pacific Theater in reverse, believing that Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour in reposnse to the US atomic bombings of Nakasagi and Hiroshima.
* ArtisticLicenseStatistics: [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-you-can-truly-say-that-math-is-gay/ "So I read this thing on the Internet that said that one in four girls will turn out to be a lesbian. ...That means one of us here has got to be gay!"]]
* AsianAndNerdy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/might-i-suggest-a-stereotypewriter/ Here's one guy]] who seems to think this is the norm.
* AskAStupidQuestion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/vh1-behind-the-sarcasm/ This teacher]] gives a sarcastic response to why she'll be on leave for the next month and a half. At least one student is SarcasmBlind, and the rest don't seem to know how to respond.
* AssimilationAcademy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/blue-in-the-face-over-the-dino/ The teacher from this story]] sends a student to the office for coloring dinosaurs imaginatively rather than what color they "really" were. The student's mom calls the teacher (and principal, who sides with the teacher) on their idiocy before pulling the student out of that school entirely.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-way-to-ring-in-the-new-year/ A rare teacher example.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/whats-cooler-is-a-castle-filled-with-transformers/125288/ A group of kindergarten students]] pass by a castle on a class field trip (note this story takes place in Kentucky). While they wonder what a castle is doing there for a second, the topic quickly changes over to wishing that they could be Franchise/{{Transformers}}
* AttentionWhore: The girl [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this story]] calls "Problem Girl" is notorious for going to great lengths to get attention and is unpopular because of it. Judging by the fact students don't seem to blame her apparent learning disability for her actions, not even the other special needs students like her. If students don't shower her with attention, she's prone to do "some pretty crazy things to make sure [they] will", and she attempts a WoundedGazelleGambit (that thankfully fails due to her incompetence) on the poor girl that makes the mistake of calling her out.
* AxCrazy: [[https://notalwaysright.com/theyre-gunning-for-you/90404/ This student]] was planning to shoot his teacher because the teacher stopped him from trying to pick a fight with another student.
* BadassBookworm / GeniusBruiser: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-power-of-a-kenya-do-attitude/ This security guard and self-taught electrical engineer]].
* BeatBag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/will-have-some-high-cats-tonight/ This student]] unsuccessfully tries it. Protip: [[DoWrongRight If you're going to try and scam someone this way]], A) try to make sure that they would want the product you're purporting to sell, and B) [[WhatAnIdiot don't use a container where the seal hasn't yet been broken]].
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: "What exactly are you looking to get out of this class?" "[[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-get-with-the-programming/ Oh, a passing grade.]]" Come end of semester, the smart-mouthed and class-cutting student gets exactly that: a passing grade... two letters below the one they'd actually ''earned''.
* BeliefMakesYouStupid:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/like-tolkien-to-a-brick-deeping-wall/32952/ This woman.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/freedom-of-screech/ "You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/irish-fooling-herself/ This college student]] thinks an Irish man will come to her in the US because she made a deal with Jesus.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-was-there-in-spirit/ A story]] about the often-heard argument against evolution.
** Also occasionally inverted, as seen [[http://notalwaysright.com/troll-hunting/ here]]. One guy is like ''"You're wearing a cross necklace? You're probably a homophobic racist like the rest of them!"''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-is-magma-nimous/ This mad mom]] thinks that the science teacher is an atheist teaching their kids about Satan... because she doesn't think volcanoes are real. In Washington, the location of ''five'' active volcanoes (Mt. Adams, Mt. Baker, Glacier Peak, Mt. St Helens, and Mt. Rainier), one of which (Mt. St Helens) erupted quite famously in 1980.
* BigBrotherInstinct: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-standard-setting-for-the-older-brother/ "Because that's my little sister, and she has standards."]]
* BigYes and BigNo: [[http://notalwaysright.com/playing-with-fire/ This kid]] yells both in sequence at a fire alarm that turns out to be a false alarm.
* BilingualBackfire:
** Subverted here, when [[http://notalwaysright.com/parlez-snooze-francais/ this French teacher]] expects a backfire but none occurs, [[FlockOfWolves because the student in question was the only one in the entire class who actually learned French, instead of cheating by using translators]].
** A kid [[http://notalwaysright.com/lost-in-transl-asian/ here]] tries to insult another student in Spanish, thinking that they didn't understand the language. Too bad for him the student did.
* BleepDammit: An unintentional meta example with [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-wankourage-bad-behavior/ this story]], where the word "wieners" is censored but the word "[[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch wank]]" (in the title) is not.
* BrandNameTakeover: Even extends into the ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/hes-a-cultural-geicon/ animal kingdom]]''. According to one student, a certain species of small green lizard is known as a ''Advertising/{{Geico}}'', not a ''gecko''.
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/puts-his-own-spin-on-it/ ...we have the printmaking studio!]] This is the largest studio space in the building and includes two etching presses, two lithography presses, and... [[ItMakesSenseInContext and various medieval torture devices]]."
* {{Bowdlerization}}: According to the student (and the professor!) in [[http://notalwaysright.com/writing-off-their-handwriting/ this]] quote, they actually changed it from "My handwriting is like a drunk epileptic spider that fell in an inkpot and had a seizure on the page" to "My handwriting is like a drunk spider that fell in an inkpot and tried to walk on the page."
* BrickJoke:
** A student asks their teacher about his habit of bringing a Wiffle bat to class, and the teacher will only say that it "comes in handy every now and then". [[http://notalwaysright.com/shouldnt-bat-a-drooping-eyelid/ Three months later]], the student learns the answer firsthand.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-how-you-remind-me-what-is-on-the-exam/ Nickelback]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/punch-time-line/ This student]] asks the teacher if she gets a joke involving a time traveller a couple of minutes before telling the joke.
* BullyingADragon: [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This one student]] who lunged after another kid, knowing full well that he studied martial arts. The other kid knocked the wind out of him with one kick.
* BunnyEarsLawyer:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/disbelieving-his-beliefs/ This teacher]] may be nuts, but he uses his eccentricity to make a point.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gives-new-meaning-test-hard/ A student who signs his tests "Megapenis"]] has the highest grades in the class.
* ByThePowerOfGrayskull: Invoked but subverted by [[http://notalwaysright.com/masters-degrees-of-the-universe/ this professor]].
* CallingMeALogarithm: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-specie-ous-argument/33313/ This woman]] takes offense to her daughter's teacher referring to the human species as ''homo sapiens.''
-->'''Angry parent:''' Most people in the world identify as hetero sapiens, thank you very much. We don’t like being lumped together with f***!
* CampingACrapper: [[http://notalwaysright.com/dying-to-use-the-bathroom/ This student will never forget what the most common place for medieval assassination was.]]
* CassandraTruth: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-a-grade-is-silent/104299/ The teacher here]] continually calls the submitter "Ellie," laughing when the submitter tells the teacher that her name is Aileen, believing that the student is merely joking. This continues for the entire semester, culminating in the teacher failing Aileen for having never showed up. The subsequent meeting with Aileen, her counselor, and the teacher revealed she wrongly failed and confused Aileen for another student that actually was named Ellie (who had never attended the class).
* ChainOfCorrections: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-tower-of-baboons/ A lesson gets sidetracked by one of these.]]
* CheatersNeverProsper: A very common theme.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/el-burro-sabe-mas-que-tu/ This bully]] tries to cheat the protagonist, but said protagonist feeds her bad info that the cheater accepts without question. "[[GratuitousSpanish El burro sabe más que tú]][[note]][[BilingualBonus The donkey knows more than you]][[/note]]", indeed.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/be-sure-to-copy-the-right-copy/ This student]] apparently has a habit of copying the answers from other students. It backfires when said student copies the answers off a classmate who doesn't have the same copy of the test that the cheater does.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/be-sure-to-copy-the-right-copy-part-2/ "During the test, [other student] was asking me for the answers. ...So I gave him the wrong answers."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/those-who-cant-cheat/ This student]] is accused of copying off another pair of students by a teacher that doesn't like [[AmbiguousGender him/her]]. Said student then, as part of an agreement with the teacher, deliberately fails the next test to catch the real cheaters. Sadly, [[KarmaHoudini the cheaters were never punished]] because they were the teacher's favorite students.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/searching-for-history-repeated/ Another student writing down the wrong answers to catch cheaters.]] In this case, the teacher ''knows'' that the student knows better, and is puzzled until the student lets the teacher know why it was done. Next day, both cheaters are ridiculed, then moved to different parts of the classroom where they ''couldn't'' cheat off anyone.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-cheat-at-his-game/ This student]] admits to attempting to cheat at a physics exam by writing down formulas on the desk. The teacher catches this and orders everyone to change seats for the exam.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation-part-2/ Double whammy here]]. Not only is a student about to get another student in trouble by taking money to write an essay for him, he isn't even ''competent'' in grammar. Bonus points for the submitter (who's a teacher) being asked to check the essay-writer's work -- which allowed her to report both students.
** What's the result of three students handing in the exact same essay? [[http://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation-part-3/ This.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/felt-cheated-by-the-grade/ Another]] student deliberately puts down wrong answers to trap a cheater - then surreptitiously changes them all to the proper answers afterwards before handing the test in.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-is-french-for-emasculated/ Here]], a student who's better at French gets a JerkJock to say he has a TeenyWeenie.
** Ignorance is when you get the answers wrong on a test. [[http://notalwaysright.com/ignorance-versus-stupidity/ Stupidity is copying the ignorant student's wrong answers on your own]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/shouldnt-do-a-copy-of-a-copy/ "Practices improved when doctors realized they needed to stop copying my work."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/failed-at-cheating/ "This test is rigged." "No, you just suck at cheating."]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-testing-set-of-circumstances-2/36483/ "You b***! I’m going to fail!"]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/only-getting-a-middleearth-grade-2/38622/ This cheater]] copy's another student answers but fails the test because the student he copied from actually wrote wrong answers using Lord of the Rings before erasing them with the correct answers.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/figuring-dummies-dummy/97051/ When a student learns his classmates]] have been copying his work to pass, during the final exam, he submits an exam paper with wrong answers for the cheaters to copy before switching it with the real one with correct answers.
* ChirpingCrickets: [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-offtweet-sense-of-humor/ Invoked by the author here.]]
* CloudCuckooLander: [[http://notalwaysright.com/following-this-conversation-is-fruitless/ "I thought]] about how it should really be ‘im-grapefruit-ment’ because grapefruits are sour and getting impeached would be a sour experience.” Er, okay then.
* ClusterFBomb:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-apple-doesnt-foul-far-from-the-tree/ Well, that certainly answers the teacher's question.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-mommys-curse/ It certainly does.]]
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-income-figure-of-speech/ We're not poor, we're middle class!]]
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/se-habla-mexicanol/ this story]], a student's partner asks if Mexico's official language is Mexican. The student assumes that he's joking and says yes, since it's not like they're doing this in a Spanish class, to which the partner replies with surprise at being right.
** After a teacher calls Ernest Hemingway a "lefty", referring to his political views, [[http://notalwaysright.com/about-to-get-left-behind/ this student]] wonders what being left-handed has to do with anything.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-small-problem-with-that/ This student]] wants his teacher to check a problem for him. Normally, this is good behavior... but he asks during an exam. He can't understand why the teacher can't just give him the answer.
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-class-is-having-a-day-off/ this story]], a student teacher asks for a response, and after getting nothing, says that he'll start calling out names. He begins with [[Film/FerrisBuellersDayOff "Bueller? Bueller?"]] and a girl replies "Is the answer Bueller?!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/swearing-by-the-wrong-word/ This kid]] thinks he got in trouble for saying the word "gob" - as in, telling his teacher to "shut her f***ing gob".
** Courtesy of the language barrier: [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-what-the-devil-he-is-saying/ this teacher]] scolds her Japanese student for his rudeness after he tells her to "go to hell." The student promptly looks horrified.
--->'''Student:''' "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Umm. Let's go to Hell together!"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This class asks a student]] why she made a biography on Oprah when it was supposed to be about South African women. She calls everyone racist for saying "South African", [[WeAllLiveInAmerica as opposed to "African-American"]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-slaving-over-the-historical-accuracy/ Wait. Did slaves get paid?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-hard-work-when-youre-hardly-working-part-2/ This student]] is stated in the beginning of the story to have ''not once'' turned in any work for a class - and then he expects the teacher to tell a potential employer that he is a hard worker.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/red-light-plight/ “Does this really mean ‘I bought my girlfriend in Amsterdam’?””]] “I had a look and told her, “No. It means ‘I bought ‘a‘ girlfriend in Amsterdam’.”
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/what-leftist-nonsense/124228/ This teacher and principal]] can't seem to grasp that the submitter only uses their left hand to write since the right hand was amputated long ago and are more interested on how to make a defiant student use their right hand that doesn't exist.
* ConversationalTroping: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/of-fourth-walls-and-poke-balls/ No breaking the fourth wall!]]"
* ConvictionByCounterfactualClue: [[https://notalwaysright.com/misogyny-is-a-lie-ability/ These criminal law students]] are given an exercise to see how well they can spot a lie. Only one student is shown to take a guess - and he's always wrong, because his logic is always [[StayInTheKitchen "you're a girl"]].
* CoolAndUnusualPunishment:
** Using a cell phone in the library with a "no phones" policy? [[https://notalwaysright.com/stretch-the-rules-and-your-librarian-might-snap/ Snap!]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/witness-versus-witless/ One girl]] gets into a fight to defend a disabled friend. Her "punishment" (given out only because it was required by the rules)? Write an essay about how to win a fight.
** Fail to hand in your work on time, and [[https://notalwaysright.com/hand-in-your-work-or-face-the-music/ this teacher]] might announce it over the intercom... or worse, ''[[DreadfulMusician sing]]''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teaching-is-not-his-only-calling/ This professor]] will utterly humiliate anyone who has a cell phone ring in his class.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/pardon-his-french/ Insulting the French, in front of your French professor?]] He assigns the guilty student an essay on France-USA relations.
* CrazyPrepared: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-catch-red-handed/ This student]] is so used to people thinking her red hair is artificial because of her mixed Japanese-Irish heritage. When a teacher accuses her of breaking the school dress code, she pulls out a DNA test and detailed explanation of how her genes produce her hair colour. Apparently this has happened a lot.
* CrimeOfSelfDefense:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/was-bra-ced-for-a-different-reaction/35572/ This story]] has a girl get in trouble for decking a boy after he undid her bra.
** Taken UpToEleven [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-bad-detention-retention/36141/ here]], where a kid gets in trouble just for ''being choked out by the [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections vice-principal's son]]''.
* CriticalResearchFailure: [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/do-juneau-how-stupid-you-sound/ "You thought Alaska was an ISLAND?"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This student]] apparently thinks the correct term to call a South African person is "African-American", despite them ''not being American''. When the rest of the class points this out, the student calls them racist.
** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-united-states-of-africa/ this teacher]] refers to people in Africa as "African-Americans", even after a student points out they are ''not'' American. Worse, the teacher also makes the opposite mistake of assuming white Africans cannot be native to the continent.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-no-joker/ This student]], in trying to one-up the submitter when questioned about heroes, states that people like Franchise/{{Superman}} and Franchise/{{Batman}} can't be heroes, because they have superpowers. Batman [[BadassNormal does not have superpowers]]. [[YouKeepUsingThatWord She also claims that heroes with powers are "anti-heroes"]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/native-idiocy/ "Hmm… well, I’m half German and half Irish, so I don’t think I have much European in me."]] Cue most of the class bursting out in laughter.
* {{Crossdresser}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/show-your-professor-some-puppy-love/ This professor]], during one Halloween.
* CrowdSong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/well-that-was-f-u-n/ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/take-me-or-leave-me-confused/ These theater students]] get bored in the dressing room and start singing "[[Theatre/{{Rent}} Take Me or Leave Me]]".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-class-got-a-bit-haddaway/ Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!]]
* CryingWolf: [[http://notalwaysright.com/weve-reached-the-tripping-point/ This kid]] falls afoul of it, but not for the usual reason--it wasn't so much that the teacher didn't ''believe'' him, but that the teacher was so sick and tired of him pulling that stunt that she looked the other way when it happened for real.
* CuteBruiser: [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This first grade girl.]]
* DarkIsNotEvil: [[https://notalwaysright.com/old-classic-music-routine/38994/ One new clerk]] calls the police on a guy with tattoos and piercings for taking one little girl after school. Had she bothered to check the school's files before calling, she would have realized that he was the girl's uncle and was registered to pick her up if her father wasn't available. The file even had his picture. She didn't last for very long.
* DeadpanSnarker: In response to a drama queen playing up a case of asthma (if she even ''has'' asthma) and claiming she could die if she doesn't get a drink of water, this teacher responds: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-teachers-logic-is-unquestionable/ "I think we can live with that."]]
* DeathOfTheAuthor: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/reading-too-much-into-it/ This author]] doesn't much care for one professor's interpretation of the use of blue for a room.
* DelayedReaction:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/at-ones-wits-end/ This girl]] has one to a teacher's StealthInsult.
** This is how [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-punchy-punch-line/ these two students]] became friends.
* DeliberateValuesDissonance: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unagreeably-agreeable/ To this teacher's surprise]], both his male and female students agree that the male protagonist in a Chinese story they were studying was a jerk. Possibly due to different cultural values, the teacher expected some students to side with the protagonist.
* DeliciousDistraction: [[https://notalwaysright.com/barking-mad/ During a lockdown drill]] (in which a police dog was simply allowed to run though the halls with his handler, instead of being given orders), the dog went into full alert ... over a ham sandwich in a student's locker.
* DeusAngstMachina: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-power-of-a-kenya-do-attitude/ This security guard]] was rendered homeless three times by the time he was 22 due to faulty wiring. So he teaches himself electrical work (very well)... and his house burns down due to a drunk driver when he is 23.
-->'' So I gave up and moved to America.''
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud:
** What [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-science-of-self-incrimination/ this student]] was likely thinking when they made a snarky remark when the teacher commented about a news article about lewd websites.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/singing-from-the-same-joke-book/ All but outright stated]] after the student makes a joke insulting the band director. Luckily the director had a sense of humor.
* DidntThinkThisThrough:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/series-unfortunate-choices/90409/ This teacher]] should have thought twice before giving a five year to read Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents.
** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this story]], a serial AttentionWhore's [[WoundedGazelleGambit attempt to falsely accuse the submitter of cyberbullying her]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard falls apart in spectacular fashion]] when she sends more bullying texts and bursts into the office of the teacher she talked to while the submitter ''doesn't have access to her phone because she's in his office about to be punished for the "bullying"''.
* {{Dismotivation}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/easily-obvious/ These]] students ''aren't'' stupid, despite completely failing a very easy multiple choice test.
-->'''Teacher''': I'll make a deal with everyone: if you come to class every day, listen, take notes, and study one hour before the test, I'll make the next test easy.\\
'''Student''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint If we do that, OF COURSE it will be easy!]]
* DisproportionateRetribution:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/easily-gets-hopping-mad/ This teacher]] forced the submitter, then a first grader, to stand facing a chain-link fence, then after five minutes, shouted at the submitter and forced him/her to stand silently in a corner long enough to not only miss lunch, but for another teacher to ''declare the submitter missing''. What did the submitter do to deserve ''that''? For the former punishment, the submitter hopped down ''two steps'', which apparently was enough to make him/her a "demented animal" in that teacher's mind, and for the latter punishment, the submitter sneezed and banged his/her head on the fence, which apparently equaled "making a commotion". Needless to say, that teacher was removed from supervisory duties.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-be-brailled-out-of-that-class/ This teacher]] drags the submitter (then a first grader on the first day of school) to the principal's office in tears because he's "too immature" and "obviously not ready" for school because he won't speak sign language. The principal has to reveal to her what was [[FailedASpotCheck clearly in the submitter's file]] ... that the submitter doesn't speak sign language because he's ''[[InternalReveal blind]].''
** Why did [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this horrible girl]] attempt to accuse another girl, the submitter, of cyberbullying her, which would have resulted in criminal prosecution if Problem Girl hadn't got herself caught in her own lies? Because the submitter had called Problem Girl out for pretending to be pregnant.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/after-a-few-hundred-years-a-guy-cant-change-his-look/132438/ A group of kids]] are banned from recess for the day for the heinous crime of coloring Santa Claus's suit a color other than red on their Christmas coloring pages. (Or, in the case of one poor kid, coloring Santa's suit red, but coloring his gloves ''green''.)
* TheDitz: But of course.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-klass-of-2015/ "K as in 'chicken'."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-slow-it-hertz/ This student is studying computer science]]... and he doesn't even know what an internet browser is.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-enjoy-bird-watching-but-quite-likes-the-woods/ I swear]] I'm not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/somethings-not-right-clicking-with-this-student/ This student]] somehow confuses a paper test (from a computer screenshot) for an actual computer.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-sea-the-class-as-half-fool/ Here]] we have two ''college'' students who don't know [[GlobalIgnorance geography]] ''or'' [[WritersCannotDoMath basic math]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/welts-in-your-wouth/ "One of my M&Ms has a W on it!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/back-to-the-teacher/ A series of convenient events]] convinces a girl that a ventilation cabinet is actually a time machine.
* ADogAteMyHomework: Yes, it happens. [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion/ Almost]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion-part-2/ always]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion-part-3/ lampshaded]].
* DoubleStandard:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/policy-as-mad-as-a-hatter/ Kids are allowed to have their PHONES on them]][[note]]Ostensibly to keep in touch with their parents, but this privilege is frequently abused[[/note]], but HATS aren’t allowed because they’re a distraction?"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tolerating-intolerance-can-be-intolerable/33034/ A Christian student]] is called out by his teacher for finding Hindu Mythology ridiculous and hard to believe yet he has no problem in believing with the ridiculous parts of the Bible.
* DoWrongRight: A teacher finds a crudely-drawn penis on the classroom whiteboard, and lectures the vandals in front of the entire class... [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-had-it-coming/92314/ about the incorrect anatomy]].
* EducationThroughPyrotechnics: Why one of the best jobs for a PyroManiac is "[[http://notalwaysright.com/firing-up-a-passion-for-science/ Science Teacher]]".
* EekAMouse: [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-a-rodent-in-your-class/ Somehow she didn't notice it until that afternoon.]]
* ElSpanishO: [[http://notalwaysright.com/el-burro-sabe-mas-que-tu/ This bully]] seems to think the Spanish language works this way.
* EntendreFailure: [[http://notalwaysright.com/biology-101-one-on-one/ Biology lesson.]]
* EntertaininglyWrong: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-thinking-is-continents-apart/ this story]], the poster claimed her (visibly white) mother was African-American and a classmate accuses her of lying; it is eventually explained that [[ExactWords she meant her mother was an American born in Africa]] which her mother confirms.
* EskimosArentReal: [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-carveem-all/37617/ This student]] mistakes a narwhal for a kind of Franchise/{{Pokemon}}.
* EverybodyHatesMathematics: Naturally, there are a few stories about people complaining about math.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-getting-into-the-vulcan-science-academy/ This student]] says the usual "When am I going to use this" line. Too bad he said it in a ''Logic'' class.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-can-be-a-slippery-slope/ In this story]] a student asks how Calculus could be useful, so the teacher gives a situation, albeit a [[SpaceWhaleAesop pretty unlikely one]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-should-stick-to-sin-language/ Another complaint]], with an amusing response.
* EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/reading-too-much-into-it/ Here.]] The author disagrees.
-->'''College Student''': Our professor told us that [character]'s room being blue is a symbol of his loneliness and isolation. Is that what you meant?\\
'''Author''': No. I just like blue. You can tell your professor they’re full of s***.
* ExactWords:
** How [[http://notalwaysright.com/rounding-numbers-and-grounding-kids/ this teacher]] once got away with returning home late. As he warns, however, ItOnlyWorksOnce.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-grease-their-way-into-it/ This person]] tries to argue against a return policy with this logic. It's ''not'' water damage, it's ''taco grease''. Who cares if it makes the book illegible in entirely the same manner?
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cracking-on-the-first-week/ "Students are to wear bottoms high enough so that no undergarments are showing."]] A student tries (and fails) to get around this by [[GoingCommando not wearing underwear]].
** The class is playing an {{Expy}} of ''Series/FamilyFeud''. One team tries to call themselves the Llamas, but the professor insists it be a family name and calls them the "Lamas" (like the Dalai Lama.) The team then asks the professor to add another L, and he [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-spelling-is-lludicrous/ changes the name to the "Lamals."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-you-want-to-hit-the-bottle/ One teacher,]] annoyed with her class singing "The Song That Never Ends" asked them to pick a song that actually does end. Well, the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/_Bottles_of_Beer next song they pick]] does actually end... eventually.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-longing-to-move-belongings/ This student gets their stuff moved by the teacher]], and the next time the student leaves the classroom, said student tells the teacher not to move their stuff. The teacher moves the desk instead.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/never-going-figure/92310/ This teacher]] tells a homophobic student he's been taught by a gay teacher for the past three years, and the student switched to another class. However the teacher himself isn't gay but the student's history teacher ''is,'' and he and his husband are going to meet the student's parents.
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/sodium-so-dum-3/129663/ We didn't hear anything unexpected, officer!]]" The science teachers were detonating unwanted sodium samples in the rain, and a neighbor had reported hearing explosions. If you know and plan the explosions, they're not unexpected...
* ExtremeOmniGoat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/pray-he-is-only-kidding/ Apparently]], the [[ArtisticLicenseBiology only actual omnivore in existence]].
* {{Facepalm}}:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/english-history-one-oh-dumb/ Teacher: *palm meets face* “Let me stop you right there.”]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/try-to-appeal-that-answer/ Me: *double facepalm*]]
* FailedASpotCheck:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/for-goodness-psych/ This professor]] fails his listen check.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/students-can-be-fired/ This student]] fails to notice that her hand is on fire.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-double-take-is-aptly-named/ This professor]] fails to realize which sister is which when they decide to prank him. He's a psychology professor, so he later uses the incident as an example in the section of the class having to do with memory and pattern recognition.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cantonese-believe-im-hearing/108024/ The submitter and their friend]] both fail to notice their classmates in the background listening in to their conversation.
* FawltyTowersPlot: [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sugary-sweet/ This professor]] first chews out the student for using a cell phone in an ''empty'' classroom, claiming grounds for expulsion. Right on cue, the professor's own phone rings, and she answers it, talking in the classroom. When the student calls her out on the DoubleStandard, she claims the call was from her boss, the dean. Naturally, the dean happens to walk by the classroom, and having overheard that last comment, asks what he had allegedly done. The student reports ''exactly'' what just happened. While the professor ''wasn't'' fired, the student was compensated for a laptop the professor had damaged by spilling the student's coffee on it, and a different professor taught the course for the rest of the term.
* FemaleMisogynist: [[http://notalwaysright.com/dread-every-period-with-this-teacher/ This]] Sunday School teacher, who gives a sermon on how periods are evil, to a female student who dared to have one.
* FreudianSlip: Appropriately enough, [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-fraudulent-slip/ when finishing a discussion about Freud]].
* FridgeHorror: The implications for "all the kings' horses" in the old nursery rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" are [[http://notalwaysright.com/sent-to-the-glue-factory/ discussed in this class]]. [[invoked]]
* FromTheMouthsOfBabes:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-wankourage-bad-behavior/ “Sensei! Do Americans really have giant wieners?”]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/fight-and-focus-on/ "Trojans? Is that a condom shirt?!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/let-sleeping-with-teachers-lie/ "So the university makes you do that so you can practice sleeping with other teachers?"]]
* FunWithAcronyms: [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-was-a-cownjugal-visit/ Somebody... Please... Enter... Respectively... Moo?]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/flawed-banter-grades-low/ Fat B***es Get Laid!]]"
* HandsGoDown: [[http://notalwaysright.com/first-grade-problems/ These]] first graders all wanted milk-coated cookies.
* HateSink: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-professor-transplant/ This]] college professor. The anecdote even starts off with ''"We have a very important test coming up in two weeks for a class with a notoriously terrible, cruel, opinionated, self-centered, professor, who is on the verge of being kicked out of the university."'' You have to wonder why on Earth the professor won't let this test slide because a student needs to go in for ''kidney-transplant surgery''. It's pretty damn hard to fake that.
* HeadDesk:
** The last line of one entry: [[https://notalwaysright.com/needs-lift-abilities-get-lift/ Me: “No…” *proceeds to bang head on desk*]]
* HehHehYouSaidX:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/their-poo-h-d-is-a-total-waste/ Toxic dump...]] Sorry. The imagery is just...."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/obviously-they-prefer-fartissimo/ I can't do PP!]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/and-drums-for-an-comedic-rimshot/ The inevitable joke]] about a guitarist who forgets to take a certain string.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/maturity-0/117277/ "4q…"]]
* HenpeckedHusband: [[http://notalwaysright.com/happy-wife-happy-life-lessons/ This young man]] gets an early start on this attitude.
* HoistByHisOwnPetard:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/judge-not-lest-ye-get-jumped/ This Bible-thumper]] quotes verse in laying down judgments about the students she tutors. The students revolt by [[BotheringByTheBook Bothering By the Good Book]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-lesson-on-hold/ This professor]] subjects herself to the same humiliation as she would have for any of her students.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touching-conclusion/ This student]] attempts to get the submitter kicked off a class trip by falsely accusing him (the submitter) of touching him (the other student) during a test. It fails because other students in the class spoke up in favor of the submitter, and the [[LaserGuidedKarma other student was kicked off the trip instead.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-just-fd-yourself/91206/ One jerk student]] tries to humiliate a submitter's presentation file by adding pornography in their work and making it look it was his. Too bad the submitter's friend was able to show the presentation was modified by the jerk student thanks to the program's file logs which gets the jerk an F and a detention.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/composing-her-own-demise/90397/ This music teacher's]] harsh training which curtails freedom and creatvity ends up making the students worse and got her fired.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ This]] AttentionWhore's attempt to escalate a WoundedGazelleGambit backfires because the teacher she first approached is talking to the submitter (the girl she accused of cyberbullying) and her mother about the alleged bullying and has been for several minutes, meaning the submitter had no means ''of'' bullying her at the time the new texts were sent.
* HonestJohnsDealership: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-slow-and-the-delirious/ Revealed by a young lady]] who knows more about cars than the guy would like. His blatant StayInTheKitchen attitude does ''not'' help his case.
* HowManyFingers: [[http://notalwaysright.com/giving-the-teacher-the-one-finger-salute/ This teacher]] asks the question while holding up all five fingers. After insisting that the answer was "four" because [[RulesLawyer the thumb doesn't count as a "finger"]], one student responds with the question, with [[FlippingTheBird the answer being "one"]].
* HumanSacrifice: [[https://notalwaysright.com/translations-at-war/ Here]]:
--> Teacher: “What do you guys think was the most important factor in winning a battle in the Civil War?” ...
--> Exchange Student: “Human sacrifice.”
* HurricaneOfPuns:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-many-wheys-to-milk-a-pun/ Two students]] banter back and forth with cheese.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/over-ewe-sed-ram-blings/ Here's a particularly ba-a-a-ad one.]]
* HypnoFool: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-minds-were-clear-before-he-even-started/ this story]], a hypnotist tells a group of students, "And now... I turn down the gravity!" All of them act like he's turned the gravity ''up.''
* {{Hypocrite}}:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-smoker-of-two-evils/ Sweets are bad for you!]] But cigarettes are A-OK apparently.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/practice-what-you-teach/ I will not tolerate plagiarism!]] Now let's look at this [=PowerPoint=] presentation which has information I just copied from some other websites... (Apparently, the teacher got even ''worse'' as the year went on.)
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-get-a-word-in-nursewise/ Your brother is in college?]] Why didn't you say so earlier, when I wasn't letting you say so earlier?
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sugary-sweet/ No cellphones in class!]] Now, excuse me while I take this call...
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-blind-faith/ Retarded and homosexual people deserve to die!]] But don't make fun of teen mothers, you could offend someone!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/two-rights-make-her-wrong/ This teacher]], after teaching a class what rights they have as students, tries to force them to miss both lunch period and most of the class following that in favor of taking a mock test by arguing that, as students, they have ''no'' rights. Between this incident and generally being totally incompetent at what she does, the teacher is fired before the week is out, and the citizenship class she was teaching is scrapped after its first year.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-ironic-side-of-genocide/ This student who doesn't understand genocides]] says that they should get rid of all stupid people.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/waxing-philosophical-about-this/ This guy]] tries to brag about having received a Ph.D. at the end of the story, despite it being entirely about him not knowing what "Ph.D." actually stands for.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-mommys-curse/ This mother]] who curses out her son for swearing and using the "N" word while using it herself, and failing to understand where he gets it from.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/forget-you/ This lecturer]] has been getting the submitter and others in trouble with their apprenticeship for being five minutes late getting back from lunch. The very next day after they complain, the lecturer is ''half an hour'' late, and tries to tell them [[DoubleStandard he's allowed to be late because he has important things to do]] - like forgetting about the lesson entirely, as he admitted when he entered the room.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/coming-midterms-bad-teacher/90171/ This algebra teacher]] tells his students he's willing to help tutor them in math but won't help the submitter who the teacher hates and tells her to figure it out for herself.
* IAmNotShazam: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/frown-on-charlie-brown/ This professor]] who thinks [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Charlie Brown]] is called "Peanut". And she's an art appreciation teacher no less!
* IAmNotSpock: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/desecrating-science-and-history-at-the-same-time/ A teacher makes a mistake along these lines here,]] confusing the commander of Apollo 13 with [[Creator/TomHanks the actor]] who played him in [[Film/{{Apollo 13}} the film]].
* IAmSpartacus: After [[http://notalwaysright.com/methodist-and-the-madness/ this Bible teacher]] states that Methodists are going to Hell, an ''actual'' Methodist student objects. Eventually, the entire class claims to be Methodists and walks out.
* IMeantToDoThat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-professor-is-making-me-nervous/ Invoked by this professor]]. Thankfully, it fit into the lesson he was teaching that day.
* INeedToGoIronMyDog: [[http://notalwaysright.com/signs-its-time-for-a-break/ I need to see a fast dentist]]. ItMakesSenseInContext.
* INeverSaidItWasPoison: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-woes/ A security guard catches a camera thief with this method.]]
* IWasBeatenByAGirl: [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ A grade four bully loses to a grade one girl.]]
* IgnoredEpiphany: [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-students-auto-be-expelled/ This student]] believed he could flunk high school and still get by fine as a mechanic. His teacher, who was a mechanic for 20 years, easily demonstrates that he still needs an education to succeed at that job. The student's response? "F*** YOU, OLD MAN!"
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation/ You can’t expect me to mark essays! I deal in science, not WORDS.]]"
* ImAManICantHelpIt: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/unproductive-mis-conceptions/ You can’t expect people to control their population just by not having sex.]]"
* InherentlyFunnyWords:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-can-butt-in-just-this-once/ Flying buttresses]]. The teacher is GenreSavvy enough to let the class get the laughs out of their systems before continuing.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/why-does-every-joke-sound-like-chicken/ Well, I didn't have a joke. But people just laugh when I say 'chicken'!]]"
* InnocentInnuendo:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/now-play-the-thong-song/ "I pulled off my G string!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tests-can-make-you-testy/ "Wow, if this is a quizzie, I’d hate to see your testes."]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/graded-a-bee-minus/34134/ Somebody stole my beeotch!]]
* InsaneTrollLogic:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-a-uniform-assessment/ Students getting their grades docked for not wearing their PE uniform]], when said uniform is on back-order and they will not receive it for another couple of weeks. Thankfully, in this case it's an accident, rather than deliberately failing kids over things beyond their control.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-multiplication-doesnt-add-up/ This substitute teacher]] gives a student a low grade in their math test ''because she actually worked out and solved the problems'', rather than memorizing a table with the answers on them, even though all of the student's answers were correct. She then tries to argue that memorizing the answers out of context is more productive than learning how to find them out on one's own.
*** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/stopping-the-problem-before-it-multiplies/ this teacher]] is actually failing the submitter because she is getting multiplication questions correct. Her dad puts her in a different school within the week.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-or-stay-or-go-or/ You can stay here. Except you can't. But you can, but you also can't.]] The submitter actually ponders at the end whether an honest-to-God real security guard was really being that stupid, or if it was a dehydration-induced hallucination.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/keeping-partnership-civil/90180/ This teacher]] tries to claim banning same-sex marriage is not bigotry since he can't marry a man since he's already married which a student calls out on the teacher for his poor excuse and won't explain and defend his views.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-dangerous-right/90651/ This substitute teacher doesn't believe in left-handedness.]] She outright states that the submitter is a victim of child abuse and that his parents were drug addicts who tortured him into being left handed.
* InsistentTerminology:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-erase-that-outburst/ This student]] [[DidntThinkThisThrough ends up giving away that he threw a piece of eraser at another student]], because that student thought it was a spitball at first.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/giving-sporting-chance-2/ This student]] hates gym, and is assured by the guidance counselor that they will not be taking gym. The submitter is instead put into [[InNameOnly "Today's Sports,"]] which is different from gym simply because it's an elective, as opposed to a health class. The student in question is not happy with this.
* TheInternetIsForPorn: [[http://notalwaysright.com/prince-albert-was-a-dck/ This teacher]] learns the hard way about doing a Google image search on Prince Albert. ([[DontExplainTheJoke "Prince Albert" is a certain style of male genital piercing]])
* IsThatCuteKidYours: It happens [[http://notalwaysright.com/invasion-of-the-snotty-dispatchers/ here]], but the man helpfully points out that he and the woman he was with, along with the four kids they were supervising, were all from different countries, and they were wearing clothes that indicated that they were part of an international exchange project.
* ItWasHisSled: [[invoked]] [[SubvertedTrope A subversion]]--apparently, at least one student doesn't realize [[http://notalwaysright.com/stupidity-will-be-the-death-of-you/ the title character is going to die]]...in ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman'' (for those who don't know the play, the title ''is'' meant literally).
* ItMakesSenseInContext: [[http://notalwaysright.com/several-musical-notes/ "In the second and third movement I kind of picture Mary and Jesus in the Millennium Falcon..."]] Unfortunately, no context is given.
* ItsWhatIDo: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-throw-tests-like-a-little-girl/ this story]], after a physical fitness test, a teacher remarks that a class seems to have the condition of 12-year-old girls. One of the students points out that they ''are'' 12-year-old girls.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tropes J-P]]
* JapaneseRanguage: [[http://notalwaysright.com/lets-cut-the-clap/ "Then, another man began to crap. Soon, everyone is crapping. I think they enjoyed my song, after all."]]
* {{Jerkass}}: Unfortunately.
** Many stories tagged with "[[http://notalwaysright.com/category/bully bully]]", naturally, fall under this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/rewarding-behavior-part-2/ This teacher]] calls for a parent-teacher conference ''just to insult a completely different former student''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-victory-in-tragedy-part-2/ This teacher]] gives a student detention for being a few ''seconds'' late, which would be bad enough by itself - but it's made worse by the fact that the student's little brother had died the night before and the student been up all night. Fortunately another teacher and a counselor intervened, and when that failed the principal intervened personally.
*** While it's no ''excuse'' for the teacher's actions, perhaps the teacher had to deal with a few students like [[http://notalwaysright.com/dying-to-get-out-of-detention/ this]] in the past, and thought ''this'' student was pulling a similar stunt.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-blind-faith/ This student]] outlines their plan for if they ran the world - [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything round up all the "retards and gays" in special camps where they would be shot down daily]]. Add in Holocaust denial and self-serving hypocrisy (teen mothers "didn't do anything wrong" because his/her sister is one, but the groups s/he hates were "cursed by God" so it's okay) for the perfect trifecta of asshole.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/royally-screwed-over/ This teacher]], after complimenting a student on their ''Literature/TheOnceAndFutureKing'' project (calligraphy on a parchment scroll, having [[DoingItForTheArt learned calligraphy just for this]]), gives them a B- because ''the lines weren't completely straight''. For comparison, another student who just did the project on notebook paper and mistook a pair of kings for each other got a higher grade - when this is pointed out, the teacher tells the student "if you're going to do something, do it right!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/making-the-teacher-get-the-picture/ This teacher]] is apparently giving her students' Father's Day artwork to the wrong people just to be an asshole to them.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/group-fail/ These girls]] do next to no work for a presentation, forcing the submitter to do it all - and then they try to tell the teacher ''they'' were the hard-workers and the ''submitter'' was the lazy one.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/race-fail/ This teacher]] deliberately fails a first-grade student, even though all their answers were correct. Turns out it's because the student is one of the only Caucasian people in a class made up predominately of Hispanics, as evidenced by the teacher saying to her face that "I don’t care how blond or blue eyed you are, you will fail my class".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/coming-midterms-bad-teacher/90171/ This algebra teacher]] mocks and treats the submitter like she's stupid due to the latter being a quiet person and not very good in math. When the submitter asks the teacher for help, he refuses and says she should figure it out for herself. When the student gets hospitalized for a week, causing her to miss her midterms, the teacher refuses to let her take her exam and gives her a zero, claiming the submitter faked being sick so she could had time to study in spite of the fact the whole school was informed and proof was given. The submitter's father complains to the principal about what the teacher did, which causes the principal to order the teacher to allow the submitter to take her midterm exam in a quiet classroom. Instead, the teacher tries to fail the submitter again by not allowing her to take her exam in a quiet classroom, but in a noisy classroom to distract her so that she will fail the exam and coldly tells her she deserves it for "skipping" the midterms. Thankfully, the principal has had enough with the jerkass teacher and makes sure the midterm he sabotaged would not be included in the submitter's final score. The submitter got a new teacher who was more willing to help with her math problems, and the jerkass teacher was [[LaserGuidedKarma written up and later fired because other students and parents reported he did the same thing to them.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sadly-know-type-teacher/110182/ This teacher]] acts like a jerk to a young boy because she doesn't believe he doesn't have a computer to type in his essays and accuses him of being a liar. And when his mother tells the teacher it's actually true, the teacher calls her a bad parent and demands that she buy a computer, not caring that the mother is poor and computers are too expensive (as this took place during the 1990s).
* JerkassHasAPoint: In a class about medicine, [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-killer-learning-curve/ one "teeny tiny" mistake really can have dire consequences]].
* JerkassRealization: [[http://notalwaysright.com/bullied-into-self-realization/ These two students]] realize the reason they were never bullied in school: They ''were'' the bullies.
* TheKeyIsBehindTheLock:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/in-need-of-fool-tuition-reimbursement/ You want me to pay full tuition to get to the point where I’ll only have to pay half tuition.]]" Thankfully, once the student says this, the employee at the financial office realizes their own mistake, though this is right after having phrased it ''slightly'' differently and not getting through to them.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/scheduling-a-scheduling-appointment/ So, before I can meet with a registrar who can help fill out my schedule, I need to fill out my schedule first, so I can get a registrar to help me fill out my schedule?]]" Unfortunately, this time the submitter fails to get the other person to understand the problem.
* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Much like doctors and nurses on Not Always Working, there are a sad number of stories where teachers seem to believe that they know more than their students simply by virtue of ''being'' a teacher, rather than having actually learned anything to do with their subject. Worse, these are usually the types who have also determined that their entire job is to be seen as the smartest person in the classroom, and as such will [[DisproportionateRetribution attempt to punish any student that proves to know better than they do]].
* LargeHam: [[http://notalwaysright.com/masters-degrees-of-the-universe/ "BY THE POWER]] [[ByThePowerOfGrayskull OF GRAYSKULL!"]]
* LaserGuidedKarma:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/flipping-out-over-the-desk/ After this incident]], where a teacher ''flips a student's desk'' because she knew the student wouldn't pass a neatness check, the student's mother shows up in the classroom to respond in kind, then pulls her child from that teacher's class. The teacher is later investigated and fired, and her teaching license revoked.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teachers-acting-rashly/ A mean teacher]] who refuses to let a student with fifth disease rash leave class early to call her parents despite the evidence appearing on her skin. When the student came back to school after getting cured, she learned the mean teacher got fifth disease.
* LikeIsLikeAComma: [[http://notalwaysright.com/we-like-like-this-student/ After her teacher warns her about middle school and especially the popular girls]], the brilliant student plans to invoke this trope with a little ObfuscatingStupidity to be a smart and popular girl. The teacher wholeheartedly agrees.
* LiteralMetaphor: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bloody-good-performance/ An unintentional version here.]] A musical director describes the cast's less-than-energetic rehearsal as "anemic", not realizing that most of the students present had just donated to a blood drive, meaning they literally ''were'' a bit anemic at that point.
* LiteralMinded: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-right-answer-requires-the-write-question/ This university receptionist]] asks a student if he had a pencil ready to take down some information. The student takes it to mean that he literally needs a pencil, instead of the pen he had handy, and fumbles around for one, eventually hanging up after fruitless searching. The receptionist asks from then on if they have something to write with.
* LoopholeAbuse:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/gotta-hand-it-to-this-student/ This university professor]] has strict formatting rules for submitted essays... too bad he forgot to mention they had to be ''typed''.
** A student, giving an improvised two-minute speech regarding war, runs out of material a minute in. [[http://notalwaysright.com/war-is-good-for-one-thing-apparently/ So he asks for a minute of silence for those who died.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cracking-on-the-first-week/ This student]] tries to get around a rule that says undergarments must not be visible. However, he tries this by wearing ''no undergarments at all.''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-f-bomb/ This student]] apparently believes plagiarizing an entire paper for her essay is perfectly acceptable, because nobody actually ''said'' that cheating isn't allowed. Naturally, she doesn't win when she tries to appeal her grade. Most public US universities DO have a schoolwide "Academic Dishonesty" policy, under which plagiarism is punishable by immediate expulsion, no refunds-- so yes, there WAS a rule, and that girl's lucky all the TA did was fail her.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/recourse-use-resource/97025/ This professor]] administers a test where the students are allowed to use "any resource in the room" for reference, since the class is more about knowing how to find the information they need than about memorizing it. Mid-test, one student realizes ''the professor'' is a resource, and asks for help with a particularly difficult question. After a {{beat}}, the professor tells them where to find the answer, and then [[ObviousRulePatch patches the loophole for future tests]].
** One middle-school English teacher let students score points for reading books, but forgot to set a cap on the number of points students could earn. [[https://notalwaysright.com/book-one-experience/98806/ Cue one bookworm student]] reading and turning in the forms for 130 books, earning an A ''without doing a single regular assignment''. [[ObviousRulePatch Next semester, the syllabus was changed to limit points from reading books.]]
* MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-robot-is-really-in-disguise/ As this person admits]].
* {{Malaproper}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/for-his-punishment-he-was-concubined-to-quarters/ This teacher.]] ("[[YouKeepUsingThatWord I don’t think that word means what she thinks it means.]]")
* MamaBear:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-has-a-mother-thing-coming-part-2/ This one does her part]] in the civil rights movement by standing up to an abusive teacher.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/bad-con-duct/ This one]] would make the above proud, too.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/anger-management-versus-desk-management/ And this one]] who managed to walk in at just the right moment.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/flipping-out-over-the-desk/ This mama]] responds in kind to a teacher's ''flipping her child's desk'' in front of the rest of the class. Said teacher is later fired.
** When a teacher questions whether or not a student does their own work, [[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-will-tell-you-in-her-own-words/ this mother]] responds in an [[TranquilFury understated manner that still got the teacher's attention]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bad-detention-retention/ This mama]] won't let her child serve a detention a second time after they've already served it...especially when [[CrimeOfSelfDefense said child didn't really deserve the detention]] ''and'' the instigator had thus far [[KarmaHoudini gotten off scot-free]] thanks to being [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections the son of the vice-principal]].
* MamasBabyPapasMaybe: [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-would-be-a-miraculous-child/ One student]] wonders what happens if a girl has a baby and [[ArtisticLicenseBiology they don't know who the mother is]].
* AManIsAlwaysEager: If a student propositions a TA, [[http://notalwaysright.com/soon-to-be-lonely-and-jobless/ the TA is not supposed to accept]].
* MathematiciansAnswer:
** "Which tooth did you lose?" ''*holds up tooth*'' "[[http://notalwaysright.com/the-whole-tooth-and-nothing-but-the-tooth/ This one!]]"
** "When will you be four?" "[[http://notalwaysright.com/from-the-mouth-of-babes-3/ On my next birthday.]]"
* MayanDoomsday: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-devil-maya-care-attitude/ This kid's parents believed it.]]
* MillionToOneChance: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-commonly-uncommon/124232/ This first-aid teacher]] decided to show the class some photos of injuries they'd never encounter in real life, just to see if they could work out the correct treatment. Out of four photos, ''three'' of them were ones that happened to either the poster's relatives or her friend's relatives.
* MisplacedKindergartenTeacher:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/socially-unacceptable/ This teacher]] has her sociology students, in a university, write down words they use to describe other people. That's the whole lesson. She giggles if any students give "naughty, sweary" words (as she puts it). The narrator of the story takes advantage of this to [[StealthInsult insult her to her face]], with such words as [[ManChild infantile]] and patronizing, and [[IResembleThatRemark she just cheers him/her on for having a big vocabulary.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/addressing-the-big-safety-elephant-in-the-room/ This vice-principal]] at a high school does an intercom speech regarding students jaywalking on school property... in a style that would be better suited for elementary school students.
* MissConception: [[http://notalwaysright.com/like-they-do-on-the-discovery-channel/ A variation.]]
-->'''Female Student''': ''*grabs her breasts*'' Hey, how does milk get in these anyway?
* MistakenForRacist: "I don't like [[Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Tiana]]. I just don't like her color... [[https://notalwaysright.com/royal-colors/ I don't really like green]]."
* MistakenForServant: [[http://notalwaysright.com/continuing-education-meets-continual-aging/ Well,]] mistaken for ''teacher'' in this case. Even ''by'' the teacher.
* {{Mondegreen}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-answer-is-not-satisfactchll/ Brings a spontaneous performance]] of "[[Film/SongOfTheSouth Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah]]" to a halt.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sperm-of-the-moment-answer/ The semen floor!]]
* MoonLogicPuzzle: [[http://notalwaysright.com/acting-in-seine/ Employed by this teacher]] as a hint, after the question itself goes unanswered. It works[[note]]"I'm a gorilla" --> "Me [[Film/KingKong Kong]]" --> Mekong[[/note]].
* MRSDegree:
** The basic assumption behind [[http://notalwaysright.com/married-to-a-bad-idea/ this story]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/trying-to-reverse-engineer-bigotry/ This substitute]] also seems to assume this about a female student in an engineering class. When the student is blocked from entering the class for the second day in a row, [[IAmSpartacus the entire class leaves in disgust]] until the regular teacher returns.
* MuggingTheMonster:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-professor-dean-finitely-wont-be-back/ This professor]] tries to force a military veteran to move forward from the back of the classroom, and won't brook any argument. After the veteran leaves in disgust, one of the students (also disgusted with the professor's behavior) mentions that the veteran's uncle is the dean. The professor "resigned for personal reasons" a week later.
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/assuming-makes-an-essay-out-of-you-and-me/ this story]], a student fails to recognize his professor and insults him, earning him an extra homework assignment. To the student's credit, he actually does a half-decent job on the assignment. Lesson learned, we hope.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This bully]] is just ''asking'' for a fight. ([[LiteralMetaphor No, literally, he is.]]) A grade one girl [[IWasBeatenByAGirl gives it to him]].
** Tried and failed by a student who expected a passing grade in a required-for-graduation course despite not attending a single class or completing a single assignment. [[https://notalwaysright.com/grade-and-student/105290/ "You will give me a passing grade, or my lawyer will be contacting the school."]]
* MundaneSolution: Sometimes, ''this'' is the answer the teacher is looking for.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-jump-from-logic/ Sometimes, the solution really is that simple]]. Even better, the student actually gave that answer as a joke.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/avoiding-deaths-door/ "You are in a burning building. You have a paper clip, a pencil, and a sweat-sock. How do you get out?"]] The student's solution? [[spoiler:Leave by the door. The question doesn't say anything about being ''trapped'' in the building.]] Unlike the previous example, it's evident that the teacher didn't intend this answer, but let it stand anyway.
** Another one meant as a joke: [[http://notalwaysright.com/forward-thinking/ this student]] realizes that you can get a pair of skis through any door regardless of how long they are.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/apparently-the-glove-doesnt-fit/ This one]] was certainly expected.
* MyBelovedSmother: [[http://notalwaysright.com/mom-knows-how-to-make-a-meal-out-of-it/ This mother]] is a little too desperate to make sure that her college-student son's eating enough.
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: [[http://notalwaysright.com/bullied-into-self-realization/ Two friends come to the realization they were bullies.]]
* NaiveNewcomer: [[https://notalwaysright.com/americans-friendlier-others/90650/ This Japanese student]] doesn't realize those "friendly" American ads for people who want a late night chat are in fact phone sex lines.
* NamesTheSame: [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-much-for-clearing-her-name/ This poor girl]] keeps getting called to the vice-principal's office because someone else with the ''exact same name'' is causing trouble. Thankfully, the people at the office generally realize their mistake when the first girl shows up.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-sally-met-sally/ This teacher]] took most of the semester to realize there were two girls named Sally in the class. By that time, she'd already marked the wrong Sally truant for an entire week.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/giving-the-professor-a-bad-name/ This professor's students]] tell him of a death row inmate in another state who happens to share his name. The professor promptly wonders if he happens to be the same classmate from his high school days who ''also'' shared his name.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-class-is-full-of-numbers/ This math class]] (which is over twice as large as it usually is) has a ''lot'' of students that share names, which the professor discovers during roll call.
* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers which failed all of the students when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. Instead, he wrote to the local newspaper and school board and accused the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and should be expelled as [[InsaneTrollLogic students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: [[http://notalwaysright.com/wont-be-snowed-under-with-work/ This teacher]] gets annoyed at a student for staring at falling snow out the window instead of working, pointing out that nobody else in the class is doing so - turns out this is only because they didn't ''notice'' the snow, until the teacher very helpfully pointed it out to them.
* NoIndoorVoice: [[http://notalwaysright.com/there-is-no-substitute-for-good-volume-control/ Behold 'The Screamer'.]] Who is an '''adult''', not a child.
* NoLongerWithUs: [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-teaching-style-is-just-heavenly/ Assumed by this student.]]
* NoodleIncident: [[https://notalwaysright.com/caving-in-to-the-question/ One student]] has negative thoughts about Montana because his uncle got lost out there and was eventually found naked in a cave. No further details are given.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: [[http://notalwaysright.com/best-excuse-period/ This PE teacher]] forgot this trope doesn't exist in real life.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-language-skills-will-periodically-surprise-you/38564/ Some things transcend language barriers]].
** A frequent story: Female student needs to use the restroom, teacher says no, female student blurts out ''why'' she needs to use the restroom, horrified/humiliated teacher lets her go.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/meno-pause-recess/ This terrible teacher]] tried to have a student ''punished'' for explaining why she suddenly needed the restroom. The kicker? ''[[FailedASpotCheck It's at a girls' school.]]'' The narrator concludes by wondering what that teacher does about her own monthly.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/missed-that-period/ Another teacher]] tried to publicly shame a female student for being late to class by demanding she announce her "excuse" in front of the whole class. He wasn't expecting a list of what one needs to do to when one's period starts in the middle of the night without warning.
---> He’s never hassled another student like that again — especially the girls.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/awkward-for-a-period/ This student,]] on the other hand, plays it perfectly straight... [[DudeLooksLikeALady for good reason]].
* NotDistractedByTheSexy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-not-that-kind-of-flash-pass/ A female student]] was locked out of her dorm, but doesn't have the money to pay a security officer to open it for her. She tries an...[[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey alternate]] method of payment.
-->'''Security Officer:''' Well, those are very nice. Now, that’ll be £5 please.
* NotListeningToMeAreYou: [[http://notalwaysright.com/read-and-right/ This student]] drove a teacher crazy by repeatedly subverting the trope.
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: [[http://notalwaysright.com/deals-with-a-different-kind-of-seed/ This]] agricultural professor gets accosted by a woman who thinks his doctorate means he knows how to deliver babies.
* OffscreenTeleportation: [[http://notalwaysright.com/basic-chemistry-meets-advanced-physics/ Or something similar]], and you have to admit his reason for learning how to do it makes sense.
* OffTheRails: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-politics-of-politics/ One student]] manages to derail a political game by getting people to contribute their money to them without realizing, [[MagnificentBastard and eventually dissolves the partnership and keeps all the money for themselves]].
* OhNoNotAgain: [[http://notalwaysright.com/modern-schooling-can-draw-blood/ Lampshaded here.]]
* {{Omniglot}}: Downplayed, because the person in question "only" speaks three languages, but..."[[http://notalwaysright.com/a-concentration-of-translation/ Wait, did you just tell him not to speak Spanish in an English class, in Korean?]]"
* OverlyPrepreparedGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/punch-drunk/ This gag here.]]
* PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-democratic-republic-of-having-your-mind-blown/ this student.]]
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: Someone put up a picture of Ben Franklin on a wall next to other famous scientists with a caption that included the word "scientifical". This person's teacher later added a post-it saying that [[AccidentallyCorrectWriting it's actually a real word]].
* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad: [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ You can't say South African! It's racist! You have to say African-American!]]
* PopculturalOsmosisFailure:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/goodbye-norma-jwoww/ This guy]] doesn't know who Creator/MarilynMonroe was.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lack-of-knowledge-is-very-very-frightening/ Many of these high school students]] don't know [[Music/{{Queen}} Bohemian Rhapsody]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-give-love-of-music-a-bad-name/ This New Jersey student]] has to ask who Music/BonJovi is. This after learning the song "Livin' On a Prayer".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/living-in-1984/ This English teacher]] was brought in to teach literature so the students would understand references that will be used in college. Unfortunately, the rest of the staff, including the superintendent, suffer from this so badly that they want to spend four years focusing on "[[PublicMediumIgnorance the four classics]]", which doesn't include ''Literature/AnimalFarm'', ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' or ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour''. The district's resident OnlySaneMan basically tells the English teacher to run for her sanity.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-are-mostly-dead-to-me/ This student]] wrote a review of ''Film/ThePrincessBride'' for an English assignment, and was apparently forced to redo it with a different movie because the teacher had never heard of it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/straight-up-now-tell-me-if-im-beyond-the-edge-of-glory/ This professor]] thinks Lady Gaga is named "The Gaga Lady." Even better, he only referenced her since he didn't think any of his students were old enough to remember Paula Abdul.
* PreemptiveShutUp: [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-joke/ "Don't you dare say it!"]]
* PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith: [[http://notalwaysright.com/theres-always-time-for-adverbs/ A textbook case]], followed by a textbook retort.
* PuppyLove: On the first day of kindergarten: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/a-very-long-engagement/ I met (Boy). I'm going to marry him someday!]]" "Uh-huh." [[spoiler: [[ChildhoodFriendRomance Twenty years later, they do]].]]
* PyroManiac: [[http://notalwaysright.com/firing-up-a-passion-for-science/ This science teacher]], who [[EducationThroughPyrotechnics makes the best of it]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tropes R-Z]]
* RapidFireInterrupting: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-get-a-word-in-nursewise/ this story]], a nurse repeatedly cuts off a student, chastising her for asking her brother to pick her up from class, [[OneSideOfTheStory assuming that the brother is still in grade school]]. Once the student is finally able to explain that the brother is not only college-age, but also on spring break, [[{{Hypocrite}} the nurse chastises the student for not saying so sooner]].
* ARareSentence: [[http://notalwaysright.com/survival-of-the-fittest/ "There are some things I never thought I'd have to state at the front of a classroom."]] Such as "I've never felt 'Bear Grylls.'"
* RashomonStyle: [[http://notalwaysright.com/incorrectly-referencing/ This maths teacher]] remembers an incident where a student went up to him for help with questions on an exam. The student, however, remembers it differently; she was asking why those questions were ''marked wrong'' when they were actually correct. Given the teacher's replies (and that the teacher was using the incident to justify writing that the student "struggles at math" on a reference to university), it's strongly implied that the student is in the right.
* ReadingsAreOffTheScale: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-de-grading-test/ This student]] consistently tests at the limits of the reading tests given (at both second and third grade, she demonstrates sixth-grade reading capability). Unfortunately, the teacher doesn't realize this is why the student in question is "not improving"--the test doesn't actually cover the grade levels the student is capable of reading at, with sixth-grade level being its limits. (A different test proves the student has eighth-grade level reading skill while in third grade.)
* ReallyGetsAround: Zeus has this reputation in [[http://notalwaysright.com/ungodly-godly-behavior/ one classroom]], to the point that the teacher calls him the god of (among other things) unfaithful husbands.
* ReflexiveResponse:
** A student that often gets admonished for chewing gum in class spits out his gum when the teacher shouts his name... [[http://notalwaysright.com/pavlovs-yell/ just before the teacher actually gives him a compliment]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hows-that-for-just-desserts/ How to counter a series of "no"s]].
* RidiculousProcrastinator: [[http://notalwaysright.com/due-tonight-vs-do-tonight/ "When is the paper due?" "Midnight."]]
* RightBehindMe: [[http://notalwaysright.com/pardon-his-french/ A singular bigot of a university student]] seems determined to start every class with a rant about a hated-by-him group ''du jour''. In this case, he goes after [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys the French]]. Only ''this'' time, the professor actually shows up to hear at least a good chunk of the snarling--and he's French. [[LaserGuidedKarma The bigot is assigned to write 3,000 words about U.S./France relations within two days.]]
* RulesLawyer:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/painting-colorful-language/ One student]] decides to test just how far a math teacher's "As long as you're quiet, you can do whatever you want after the test" rule goes by ''painting'' after an exam. Turns out the teacher meant ''exactly'' what she said; when another student complains about the submitter painting (cursing in the process), the teacher points out the submitter hasn't broken any rules, but the complaining student has--''twice'', by both failing to be quiet, and cursing in the classroom.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-camo-you-cant-see-some-you-dont-want-to-see/ Students were given treats for wearing camo, or red-white-and-blue]]. One student tried to get a treat by wearing camo underpants. The teacher wasn't impressed.
* RunningGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-is-imperative-this-student-gets-a-cookie/ This student]] apparently wants a cookie.
* SadistTeacher:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-has-a-mother-thing-coming-part-2/ Abusive, too]]...until [[MamaBear the student's mother shows up]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/temperamental-about-the-parental/ This one]], among other infractions, forces students who didn't study with their parents for spelling tests to sit in at recess with their heads down, even if they got an 'A' on the exam. The parents of the submitter complain about this behavior--pointing out that it teaches kids to lie--and eventually the teacher is dismissed after a different incident.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/race-fail/ This teacher]] consistently failed a student because she believed that "some students should not be given special privileges", despite the student's work being correct. The student (and family) was white/Caucasian, while the community was primarily Hispanic, so the teacher's statement was very thinly-veiled racism. The mother got her children assigned to a different classroom.
* SarcasmBlind: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unequal-views-of-equality/ This girl]] doesn't get it when someone else tries to call her out on her hypocrisy.
* ScrabbleBabble: [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-a-pile-of-blarbleskutch/ Blarbleskutch]], apparently the sound made by a fish when you take it out of water.
* ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-got-a-million-problems-but-my-teach-aint-one/ "I'd still give it to the police."]]
* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: [[http://notalwaysright.com/on-the-chopping-block-over-chopsticks/ This teacher]] admonishes a student for having her lunch split between two bags and for using chopsticks to eat it, rather than a fork. She ends up taking that student to the principal over it... only to learn there are no rules about how many bags a student can have their lunch in or what utensils they can eat it with. The teacher ended up fired not long after this incident.
* SecretTestOfCharacter: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-test-has-your-name-on-it/ Here.]]
** Also [[http://notalwaysright.com/profess-to-be-the-professor/ here...]] [[spoiler: Until it's [[SubvertedTrope subverted]]]].
* ShelteredAristocrat: In a school situated in an affluent county, [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-generation-is-out-of-touch/ these students]] are absolutely shocked that their teacher didn't like iPads, and didn't have a laptop until college. They wonder what the teacher did to survive, and she of course replies that she played ''outside''.
* ShipperOnDeck: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-stupid-cupid/ So, basically, a six-year-old scored me a boyfriend.]]" Complete with the "sitting in a tree" chant.
* SkewedPriorities:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-fired-and-the-fabulous/ This teacher]], panicked by an unannounced fire drill, runs outside with her cosmetics... but not her class register or the students themselves, so she couldn't check if all of the students had made it out.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sadly-know-type-teacher/110182/ This teacher]] demands a mother buy a computer for her son and doesn't care the mother is poor and can't afford to buy one.
** Rather than shell out the funds to hire new teachers (and forcing local parents to cover for the staff they don't have), [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-should-really-get-your-goat/119148/ this school]] would rather buy goats to serve as class pets.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/seriously-injuring-grade/97019/ This student]] is running late to his final exam and sees someone lying injured in the road after getting hit by a car. He chooses not to help her, and instead runs into the classroom to make it to his exam on time.
* SmugSnake: Unaware that the submitter is using their phone to complete an assignment in the form of an animation unlike the other students, [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-criticism-of-you-is-very-animated/131342/ a classroom assistant on a power trip]] very loudly and vocally busts them for supposedly listening to music and "drawing things" instead of doing the assignment and smirks at the submitter as they come up to the teacher's desk. When the teacher explains that she allowed the submitter to complete the assignment this way (and expresses interest in how the app they are using works), the assistant is so humiliated that they begin trying to get themselves transferred to a different class and as far away from the teacher and submitter as possible.
* SnipeHunt: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-day-has-gone-down-the-tubes/ During a wood-working class]], the teacher asks a student to fetch a fallopian tube.
* SpaceWhaleAesop: [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-can-be-a-slippery-slope/ Learn math, or someday a psychotic math teacher will kill you.]]
* StayInTheKitchen:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/married-to-a-bad-idea/ "The only reason any woman goes to university is to get a husband with an education; they earn more! You don’t need a good average, no woman does!"]] This was said by a ''woman''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/busting-his-judo-chops/ "I bet you’re still a white-belt because you’re just a girl. Girls can’t fight."]] [[MuggingTheMonster And then he got his ass kicked]].
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/misogyny-is-a-lie-ability/ this story]], a criminal law class holds an exercise where a student will state two facts and one lie about themselves, to see how well the other students can spot a lie (like a classroom version of ''Series/ToTellTheTruth''). One of said students inevitably counters what is actually true because the student claiming it is a girl.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/quarters-and-fractions-meets-quarterback-infractions/ This]] DumbJock assumes his female math teacher doesn't know anything about football. She surprises him.
** A rather troubling example [[http://notalwaysright.com/trying-to-reverse-engineer-bigotry/ here]], where an old substitute teacher actively refuses to let the only girl in a class even enter the classroom, because he thinks it's a boys-only class. [[IAmSpartacus The entire rest of the class decides to sit out the class with that girl]] for the entire two weeks that the substitute is there, and when the normal teacher returns said substitute was forced to retire early by the superintendent and school board.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/man-agement/ This student]] in a Human Resources Management class eventually realizes he's digging himself in a hole with his claim that women can't do most jobs, and then asks his ''female'' professor to bail him out.
---> Nope. What you’ve been saying for the last five minutes is a massive HR violation and would get you fired in the real world.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-sure-one-offended-first/108027/ This substitute teacher]] is not only sexist by telling the girls in the class that they shouldn't bother studying for college and should get married instead, accuses their female history teacher as stupid and wrong because she does her lessons using computers (which he thinks is only used for entertainment) but is also racist as well when he claims one Asian student will marry a girl sitting next to him, who he accuses of being slut, if she gets pregnant as Asians are a honorable race. This last part bites him since the "couple" he pointed out are in fact fraternal twins, who will not only report him for being sexist and racist but also giving advice for colleges which is illegal for teachers to do and may get him fired and teaching license barred.
* StealthHiBye: [[http://notalwaysright.com/basic-chemistry-meets-advanced-physics/ This teacher]] does it when he hears his student scream.
* StealthInsult: [[http://notalwaysright.com/racism-isnt-smart/ This student]] apologizes to an Indian classmate for stereotyping against Indian people. They say that they shouldn't have assumed that all Indians were so smart. The classmate [[DelayedReaction eventually]] gets what the student was getting at.
* SteppingOutForAQuickCupOfCoffee: [[http://notalwaysright.com/silent-protest/ This teacher]] hopes that no protesting students get up to mischief while he's on his break. He especially hopes that they don't push that [[BigRedButton BIG BUTTON]] over there. [[CouldSayItBut That would be terrible]].
* StickySituation: [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-inseparable-friends/ Here]].
* StreisandEffect: [[invoked]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-just-discussing-school-affairs/87893/ This Christian principal]] wanted to stop rumors spreading that a married teacher was having an affair with a student's mother....by announcing it to the entire school during the auditorium assembly. The ironic part was that everyone, including the student herself didn't know about the affair until the principal mentioned it. As a result, the poor girl was forced to leave school, humiliated with the revelation and the principal was '''hated''' by the whole school for his actions.
* TheStoner: [[http://notalwaysright.com/teaching-them-an-important-lesson-on-drugs/ This substitute teacher.]]
* StuffBlowingUp: [[http://notalwaysright.com/po-tential-k-atastrophe-averted/ Don't play with alkali metals.]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/oh-nly-if-you-wis-h2-deto-na-te/ No, really, don't.]]
* SustainedMisunderstanding: [[http://notalwaysright.com/mentally-checked-out/ In a library]], one student asks another for her copy of a book, thinking it's actually a library copy. When the second student replies that the book is her own personal copy, the first student seems to think (from that point) that the library ''gave'' her that book, or at least that the second student ''thinks'' that. The misunderstanding only gets worse from there.
* TakeThat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-are-but-learners-among-masters/ This one]], against the petty arguments that occur a lot in the ''Franchise/StarWars'' fandom. Also proof that a true fan can take on the petty fans any day.
* TalkAboutThatThing: [[http://notalwaysright.com/gets-the-principle-of-bullying/ This teacher]] uses the (false) excuse of a student not doing work to take said student to the principal's office...to discuss the bullying he's been subject to, without letting the bullies know he's telling on them.
* TapOnTheHead:
** The KO Punch variant: [[https://notalwaysright.com/when-toxic-personalities-become-intoxicated/ Here]]:
--> Mid-sentence, she tries to shove my regular again, but this time the regular catches the college girl’s arm and delivers a powerful right cross to her face, knocking her out cold. The regular watches the drunk college girl drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then sits back down on her barstool and turns back to the bar.
* TemptingFate:
** After [[http://notalwaysright.com/baptism-of-fire-alarms/ this student]] complains to mom about the ridiculous number of fire alarms in the dorm (as no one seems to know how to use an oven), she replies, "Maybe it will be better this time." Cue three fire trucks, sirens wailing, headed toward the dorm.
** It's a theater tradition to say "break a leg" instead of "good luck" because of this trope, but [[http://notalwaysright.com/pulling-your-leg/ "break a leg" can backfire too]].
* ThatCameOutWrong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/keep-a-close-crotch-on-this-student/ Here]], in response to a hypothetical question about the use of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groin_%28hydrology%29 strips of land]] to prevent erosion, one student replies "[[GroinAttack I'd destroy his groin]]!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lost-innuendo-translation/ This foreign student]] wanted to ask his teacher if he he could stay overnight for a study session. Unfortunately, what he said was "Can I… uhh... sleep... with you?", but the situation was defused quickly.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-the-drill/ "I've been drilling him, and he’s been drilling me."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-exam-was-easy-pee-sy/ "I'm actually still relieving myself right now!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-f-word-is-constitutional/ The F-word.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/stark-naked-notes/ "I just got 'completely naked'"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/being-a-good-spurt/ This doctor on sperm samples]] -- "Oh, these things come in spurts."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/theyre-great-at-singing-the-crotchets/ A teacher when instructing a choir]] -- "Okay, lower lady parts!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-facts-can-just-bowel-you-over/ This girl about the small intestine]] -- "But there is no way a seven-meter-long thing fits in me!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-score-was-already-high-enough/ “I was on drugs…”]]
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** Combined with ObstructiveBureaucrat. [[http://notalwaysright.com/hard-of-hearing-meets-hard-of-thinking/ This college student is]] ''deaf,'' and specifically requested an e-mail communication regarding an appointment with the advising office. The receptionist ''insists'' on communicating by ''phone call,'' ignoring his preferences, and the fact that the submitter ''cannot'' use the phone to call repeatedly. When the submitter goes to the office, in person, the first thing the receptionist does is berate the submitter for ''ignoring'' the calls and that the semester is ending in a week, after the submitter told the receptionist no less than three times ''that he is deaf and can't answer the phone!'' After setting up the appointment, the receptionists asks "would you like the reminder by phone or email?"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sister-twister/ This teacher]] doesn't seem to understand that two half-sisters with different mothers and who live at different homes are still consider sisters even if they don't live together. The whole class goes {{Facepalm}}, including the teacher's daughter who also did a {{Headdesk}}, couldn't believe how dumb the teacher was.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-alarming-way-to-get-fired/ This teacher]] refuses to allow her students to leave the classroom when the fire alarm goes off. Not when it goes off, not when the fire department gets there, or even when ''the school director outright states that there is a fire.'' When the class ''does'' leave, she continues to yell at her class, threatening to expel them for "purposely missing an exam," ''even though the director is the one leading them out!'' [[LaserGuidedKarma This whole incident causes the teacher to be fired and sued by the school.]]
** A justified example here: A little girl on her first day of class [[https://notalwaysright.com/jojo-name-o/102978/ refuses to answer to anything but her nickname]]... because ''nobody ever taught her about her real name''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-alarming-lack-of-consideration/126279/ The submitter's roommate's girlfriend turns off the submitter's alarm clock]] because it's going off too loud and too long for her... when she's not supposed to be staying in their unit in the first place, and the submitter needs the extra loud, extra long alarm because he has trouble waking up in time for his classes, ''which he's been missing because she's turning off his alarm clock without his knowledge''.
* ToiletHumor:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/americas-favorite-pastime/ Group poop.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bit-young-to-be-so-off-color/ This exchange.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lets-cut-the-clap/ An unintentional example]], thanks to JapaneseRanguage.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sticking-with-answer-number-one/ ... and THEN pee in it!]]
* TranquilFury:
** One story spells out the trope fairly well, with one student's [[MamaBear mother]]: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-will-tell-you-in-her-own-words/ Now, my mum is terrifying on the warpath. She doesn’t hit, scream, throw things, or anything else like that: she is just nebulously yet definitely terrifying....]]"
* {{Troll}}:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/troll-hunting/ This one escaped the confines of the Internet.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/blind-eye-to-the-blindside/ This one repeatedly insults another student in an effort to get the second student in trouble.]] When the second student finally snaps, the first student tattles. But despite the teacher being ''right there'' and looking in their direction, [[IllPretendIDidntHearThat the teacher saw nothing]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/barking-up-the-wrong-culinary-tree/ This guy giving a presentation on "Chinese Food".]]
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: [[invoked]] No matter what [[http://notalwaysright.com/c-right-through-modern-art/ this art student]] does, whether it involves painstaking effort or just throwing together random junk, it gets a 'C' grade from the professor (with the "random junk" effort apparently falling into this trope). The student eventually changes majors.
* TwinTelepathy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-of-one-mind-on-the-matter/ These students]], apparently. Their teacher requests that they be moved into separate classes so they can't cheat off each other.
* TyopOnTheCover: [[http://notalwaysright.com/inappropriate-gaymes/ An unfortunate misspelling indeed]].
* UngratefulBastard: [[http://notalwaysright.com/cheated-at-his-own-game/ This 2nd-grade student]] asks the submitter for an answer on a test, and upon receiving it, then asks for the submitter's phone number so he can call his mother and tell her he cheated.
* UnsettlingGenderReveal: [[http://notalwaysright.com/new-meaning-to-gender-displacement/ This girl]] does it to another group of girls who were infatuated with her. [[http://notalwaysright.com/new-meaning-to-gender-displacement-part-2/ Has a sequel]] on Not Always Friendly; even funnier, the second target was with her boyfriend, who started laughing hysterically in the aftermath.
* TheUnsmile: [[http://notalwaysright.com/give-them-a-grinch-and-theyll-take-a-smile/ This person's "smile" manages to convince their band director that they're feeling sick.]]
* ViewersAreMorons:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/unintended-condescendences/ This teacher]] unfortunately goes beyond the assumption that students are ''ignorant'', and seems to operate under the assumption that students are ''stupid''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/word-to-the-wise/ This teacher]] seems to operate under the same logic, having assumed that none of the students (Germans who are learning English) have ever heard an English word before entering his classroom, and as such throwing a fit when a student turns out to know most of the words in a poem without having to have looked them up as they were reading it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-negative-teaching-experience/ This teacher]] tries telling her students negative numbers don't exist, because she doesn't think they could understand that. Naturally, when it turns out they do, rather than praising them for knowing more than she expected, [[DisproportionateRetribution she sends the first student to speak up about it to the principal for "insubordination"]] (though the student quickly returned). After that incident, the teacher went to the more plausible "[[AnotherStoryForAnotherTime we're not covering that yet]]".
* VictoriasSecretCompartment: Where [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-em-bra-ssing/ this substitute teacher]] keeps her phone.
* WakingNonSequitur: [[http://notalwaysright.com/hed-sleep-through-vorgon-poetry/ In this story]], a teacher tries to catch out a student who is prone to sleeping (through no fault of their own), by asking about the book she slammed onto the student's desk. The student mentioned the first thing that came to mind ("42!"), which had nothing to do with the book being discussed. However, the answer did have everything to do with [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy the book that was slammed down onto the desk]]...
* WalkingDisasterArea: [[http://notalwaysright.com/perfect-accidental-timing/ This accident-prone student]]. The science teacher even has an XDaysSince sign in the lab, just for that student.
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: [[http://notalwaysright.com/all-hail-the-oxford-comma/ An excellent example]] of why proper use of commas is essential.
* WaxingLyrical: [[https://notalwaysright.com/i-hear-the-voices-when-im-dreaming/ Carry on]] [[Music/{{Kansas}} my wayward son.]]
* WhatsAHenway: [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-a-tutorial-tutorial/ "What the heck's a 'torial']] and why do we need two of them?!"
* WhosOnFirst: [[http://notalwaysright.com/appropriate-applications-of-apathy/ "That was actually correct? Because I really don't care."]]
* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: [[http://notalwaysright.com/b-is-for-blackmail/ This teacher]] stopped with bribing jokes after a certain incident.
* WithFriendsLikeThese WhoNeedsEnemies: [[https://notalwaysright.com/tie-self-esteem/91729/ This high school senior]] is horrified to find that their good friend has entered an ugly tie contest with a tie covered in pictures of them - and wins.
* WorstAid:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/broken-armed-with-a-note/ Oh boy.]] A student breaks his arm, and the first thing three people do is ''physically test it to see how badly it's actually injured.'' Thankfully ''not'' repeated by the nurse, but seriously--a suspected broken arm ''should not'' be tested in that manner; doing so can make the injury far worse.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-nose-what-she-is-doing/ This school nurse]]'s procedure for treating one student is very poor indeed.
** As is [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-pain-no-gain/ this one's.]] Even worse, the nurse in question ''isn't'' too incompetent to see that the finger is very obviously broken, noticing every sign of such, but she still decides to completely ignore them because [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction the submitter wasn't showing enough pain]].
* WouldHurtAChild: [[https://notalwaysright.com/jiu-jitsu-believe/107605/ This gym teacher]] tries to attack a student because he doesn't play soccer (a sport the teacher loves and fails anyone who doesn't play it) and thinks is lazy. Too bad the student was a jiu jitsu practitioner who kicks the teacher's ass for trying to grab him. The incident gets the teacher removed from the position of the school's Soccer Coach.
* WoundedGazelleGambit: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touching-conclusion/ Attempted here]]. It eventually failed because witnesses came forward, and the guy who claimed he was touched [[HoistByHisOwnPetard got barred from a school trip--the same one he was trying to get the other guy barred from]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/witness-versus-witless/ This]] [[SarcasmMode charming]] girl plays this card after repeatedly abusing and threatening a handicapped girl and getting attacked by the aforementioned girl's friend. Thankfully, it didn't work.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ This horrible girl]] attempted to get the submitter expelled, perhaps even arrested, for cyberbullying. Thankfully, Problem Girl caused her plot to implode by sending more bullying texts to herself while the submitter had no access to a phone and rushing into the office of the teacher about to punish the submitter. Unfortunately, while the head apologised and the teacher in question was suspended for [[InspectorJavert mishandling the situation]][[note]]he approached the submitter out of the blue, forced her to hand her phone over, refused to explain what she was being accused of, and, from the absence of the messages and her bewilderment, jumped to the conclusion that she'd deleted the messages and was refusing to cooperate[[/note]], [[KarmaHoudini Problem Girl was never punished]].
* [[WritersCannotDoMath Students (And Sometimes Teachers) Cannot Do Math]]:
** First, a student example: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-sea-the-class-as-half-fool/ "I wish it was multiple choice. At least if there were four choices, I’d have a 50-50 chance of getting it right!"]]
** And now, a teacher example: [[http://notalwaysright.com/calling-her-a-math-teacher-would-be-charitable/ …and only 45% of your parents in this class donated! That’s 65% that didn’t donate!]] Judging from the dead silence that followed, even the ''students'' recognized this teacher's failure to CarryTheOne (well, in reverse, but you get the idea). Good thing she doesn't teach math.
* YouAreNotAlone: The basis of [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-combat-the-bullying-a-gender/ this story]]. A transwoman ducks into the girl's locker room to evade some bullies. The gym teacher fends the bullies off, and says that she considers the student one of them, a sentiment shared by the girls in the locker room. Furthermore, she allows her to hide in the room as a refuge should more troubles occur.
* YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-mother-of-all-answers/ This IEP teacher]] steadfastly believes that the submitter is being "difficult" because she won't put on her PE shoes, in spite of the submitter repeatedly stating and showing that the shoes in question are too small for her. The IEP teacher then states that she is going to call the submitter's mother to take the submitter shoe shopping, and then come back to finish the class, even though there's only twenty minutes to do so, even after the idea is spelled out to her. The teacher then calls the submitter's mother with the same idea.
-->'''Submitter:''' Let me get this straight… you’re going to call my mom while she’s at work, pull me out of school during class, and take me to get new shoes, and then COME BACK to FINISH the class? All in 20 minutes?\\
'''IEP Teacher:''' Yes, exactly!\\
'''Submitter:''' [[PrecisionFStrike That’s f*** bull***.]]\\
''(Later)''\\
'''Mom:''' Wait... so you want me to take time off work in the middle of the day, pick up my kid, take her to a shoe store so she can get some new PE shoes, and then somehow bring her back to school and sign her in in time to finish the class that, at now, only has 15 minutes left?\\
'''IEP Teacher:''' [[TheyJustDontGetIt Yes, that’s all I asked!]]\\
'''Mom:''' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike That’s f*** bull***.]] ''(Hangs up)''
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/get-passive-aggressive-and-mom-will-get-active-aggressive/ These teachers]] believe that the submitter is being passive aggressive for forgetting to bring a pencil to his reading class (where he isn't allowed to use the pencil). The utter stupidity of the teachers causes the mother to burst into tears.
-->'''Mom:''' “I’m not crying because my son ‘is passive aggressive and needs counseling,’ I’m crying because he has to spend ALL DAY SURROUNDED BY YOU [[PrecisionFStrike F*** A***.”]]
* YouKeepUsingThatWord:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-egg-in-v-egg-ie/ This student]], [[HypocriticalHumor despite claiming to be a nutrition major]], doesn't seem to know what the word "vegan" entails. As the confusion seems to be combined with a misconception as to what is and is not an animal product, it also falls under ArtisticLicenseBiology.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/youre-on-the-right-track-baby/ A young student]] objects to another person's use of "gay" (as a derogatory term along the lines of "stupid" or "annoying") along these lines. [[http://notalwaysright.com/straight-talking-on-not-so-straight-walking/ Also here]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-numbers-or-words/117671/ This substitute teacher]] fails some students for not answering questions in a test marked with the word "optional" when the actual word he meant was "mandatory".
* YouMakeMeSic:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/graffiti-has-nothing-on-grammar/ We need people like these on Internet forums.]]
** Inverted [[http://notalwaysright.com/country-grammar/ here]], where a teacher is "corrected" on grammar--well, it ''is'' the common usage in the Southern U.S., but the teacher's use of "you" instead of "y'all" (for addressing multiple people) is ''not'' incorrect.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teachers-parties/ This comic]] pokes fun at the concept.
[[/folder]]
''Note: Due to a restructuring of the entire NAR site network, the hyperlinks below may or may not work anymore.''
!!Not Always Learning contains examples of:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Tropes A-I]]
* AbuseMistake:
** When a gym teacher finds out a student is fasting for [[UsefulNotes/{{Islam}} Ramadan]], he promptly excuses the student from running laps. Then the teacher happens to mention this to some other teachers, one of whom [[https://notalwaysright.com/fasting-day-isnt-hard-enough-already/91722/ calls in the school's Child Protective Services contact,]] believing that the student has an eating disorder and that the student's parents either don't care about his eating disorder or are the cause of it. "[Ramadan is] just a made up thing that people use to not feed their family." Luckily, every other adult in the room immediately realizes the mistake.
** When a teacher arrives at school with a black eye and bruised face, she tells her class that she fell on the stairs at home. One of the toughest guys in the class responds, [[https://notalwaysright.com/domestic-violence-101/101736/ "Are you sure that’s what happened? Or do you have a boyfriend the guys and I need to talk to?"]][[note]]It was just a fall.[[/note]]
* AccentDepundent:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/will-need-to-say-hell-marys/ This story]] works best with a West Texas accent, as the writer notes at the end. [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sperm-of-the-moment-answer/ This]] {{Mondegreen}} is more understandable if you know that the British pronunciation of cement is "SEE-mint" as opposed to the American "suh-MENT".
* AccidentalInnuendo: When the two finalists in a class competition both have the first name "Jack", the teacher announces [[https://notalwaysright.com/end-day-theyre-jerks/97023/ "Let's have a Jack-Off."]][[invoked]]
* AccidentalPublicConfession:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/adopting-a-new-teaching-style/ This example]] doubles up with TomatoInTheMirror; not only did the ''class'' not know that the submitter was adopted, ''neither did the submitter''.
** Inverted [[https://notalwaysright.com/o-dear/ here]], where the teacher ''thinks'' they are in this trope before the student reveals that they already knew they were adopted.
* {{Acrofatic}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sweat/ this woman.]]
* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/drawn-to-the-teacher/ This student]] got in the habit of drawing cartoons depicting his (generally disagreeable) biology teacher in humiliating situations, then throwing said cartoons in the trash after class. Said teacher revealed at the end of the year he'd actually ''rescued'' most of those drawings from the trash because he actually enjoyed them.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/nothing-halts-a-lesson-like-a-spot-of-rabies/ This]] kindergartener got bored reading Dick and Jane, so he convinced the class that Spot has rabies. According to the quip at the end, the teacher ''and'' the principal thought it was pretty amusing.
** "I think I’m going to have to write [[http://notalwaysright.com/ashen-cheer/ that one]] in my last wishes."
** "I guess that is technically true. [[http://notalwaysright.com/politically-incorrect-and-technically-correct/ Full credit for that answer]]."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/caught-red-bearded/ This teacher's assistant]] once answered the phone using "Captain Redbeard's room", referring to the teacher who, true to the name, had a red beard and was once the captain of the football team. Given the reaction of the teacher's assistant to the caller, it's implied that the caller was the teacher himself (certainly someone she didn't want to hear that), and the laughter on the line--and the fact that the staff called the teacher "Captain Redbeard" for the rest of the year--further implies this trope.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/terrorising-your-students/ This law teacher]] made and used an exam using the students' names for DumbCrooks or other silly situations, as a way to vent stress from putting up with them in class. The students loved it.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/handy-with-drama/ This student's goofy ad-lib]] during a rehearsal was used in the performance, according to the last line.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: All the alternate religion-themed drug-use slogans proposed [[http://notalwaysright.com/high-heaven/ here]] use it.
* AdultsAreUseless:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-get-the-principle-of-bullying/ This principal]] ''really'' misses the point of bullying, to the point that two parents watching a demonstration of the [[SarcasmMode brilliant counter-strategy]] call the principal out on it. He could probably learn a great deal from [[http://notalwaysright.com/gets-the-principle-of-bullying/ this teacher]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-those-who-can-teach-speech/ This principal]] is even worse: he actually threatens to punish the one teacher who is actually trying to help a victim of bullying.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/was-bra-ced-for-a-different-reaction/ Here]] most of the adults involved are useless.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/need-to-fire-their-fire-planner/ This]] seven-year-old OP is the OnlySaneMan on a school fire drill.
* AllGermansAreNazis: [[http://notalwaysright.com/international-relations-are-history/ Assumed by this seven-year-old]].
* AlphaBitch: [[http://notalwaysright.com/may-have-been-a-sister-but-nobody-missed-her/ This sorority sister]] [[MuggingTheMonster Mugs the Monster]], and eventually gets kicked out for her behavior.
* AnalogyBackfire: [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-lesson-bombed/ In this class]], the teacher tries to get across the meaning of a tragic World War II poem by comparing it to bombs falling on their school. Unfortunately for the teacher, bombs falling on their school is something the students ''want''.
* AnswersToTheNameOfGod:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/answering-to-a-high-school-er-power/ This teacher]] retorts with a "Smith-Will-Suffice" type line.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/oh-my-professor/ This professor]] [[AGodAmI introduces himself as such]].
* ArmorPiercingQuestion: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/race-card-is-double-sided-2/38098/ Are (your parents) racist, too?]]"
* ArtisticLicenseBiology: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/fallopian-noobs/ [Boy] has something stuck in his fallopian tubes!]]"
* ArtisticLicenseGeography[=/=]GlobalIgnorance:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-great-district-of-confusion/ "I am going to tell my professor you guys are giving out maps of Colombia!"]] Note that the map in question is a map of the ''District'' of Col'''u'''mbia -- Washington, D.C.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/why-cartesians-need-to-coordinate-with-cartography/ This math teacher]] doesn't seem to realize the impossibility of ''driving'' from Japan to China. ([[DontExplainTheJoke Japan is a set of islands.]])[[note]]It's technically possible to drive from Japan to China, but it would involve taking a car ferry to either Vladivostok in Russia or Busan in South Korea first in order to get around both the whole water thing and North Korea, with the latter involving a second car ferry from Incheon to get to China. Since you still have to ride boats across water, calling it "driving" from one to the other is something of a stretch.[[/note]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/do-juneau-how-stupid-you-sound/ Here's a case]] that qualifies as CriticalResearchFailure, as the ''entire class'' calls out the ignorant student. [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/contimental/ "The continent of Africa just elected their first woman president."]] Doubles as ComicallyMissingThePoint.
** Here's one by a ''teacher'' who's supposed to be ''teaching the subject'': [[http://notalwaysright.com/california-dreaming/ The capital of California is Los Angeles.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/down-blunder/ This teacher]] went to Australia, thinking it was actually Austria and being confused when nobody he met there spoke German.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/just-burst-their-kentucky-fried-bubble-part-2/ This receptionist]] tries to turn an exchange student from the UK away from an international dorm, reasoning that she can't be an international student because she's white.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This student.]] Her team was supposed to make a presentation about black women in South Africa during the 1960s... but she instead makes a biography about Oprah Winfrey. When her teammates point out that Oprah is African-American and not South African, her response is [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "You can't say South African! It's racist!]] [[WeAllLiveInAmerica It's African-American!]]" It gets worse once the rest of the class point this out.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-vocation-for-location-part-9/ Here]] we have an [[UpToEleven absolute trainwreck]] of poor geography knowledge: "Oh yeah, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris Paris]]. Isn’t that the country in England, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italy shaped like a shoe]]?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/common-sense-having-an-off-season/ Not one, but two university/college students]] do not understand how hemispheres work. Specifically, they confuse the east/west divide with the north/south divide and believe that it's winter in Germany when it's summer in North America.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/turns-out-not-so-great-britain/ This university secretary]] insists a student who was born in England but lived in America his whole life needs to take an English-language proficiency test despite the student speaking perfect English. Even worse, she doesn't believe his explanation that England is part of United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, one of the countries exempt from the test, because England is not in the name of the country. Thankfully, her supervisor is smarter and makes sure to educate her staff better about the UK so nothing like that will happen again.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/totally-incontinent/ Three students]] who have no idea where Egypt is.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/mexicant-believe-youre-hearing/ This American teacher]] arrogantly claims Mexico is located in South America when it's actually in North America. When one student points out the mistake, he sends the student to the principal for "disrupting the class" only to learn later to his anger and embarrassment that not only did the principal agree that the student was correct and did nothing wrong but he was going to have a talk with the teacher later.
** Maybe, like [[https://notalwaysright.com/mexicant-believe-it-2/ this student]], the above teacher mistakenly thought Mexico was part of the US.
--->[[LampshadeHanging How did I get to seventh grade without knowing that?!]]
* ArtisticLicenseHistory:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/every-school-needs-an-animus/ Stories]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/every-school-needs-an-animus-part-2/ named]] "Every School Needs [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed An Animus]]", in which students believe the ''Assassin's Creed'' series is true to history.
** UsefulNotes/WorldWarI: [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-war-against-ignorance/ the war where]] we [[TheWarOnTerror prevented Saddam Hussein from obtaining WMDs]] by [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar freeing the slaves.]] After which [[UsefulNotes/CivilRightsMovement Rosa Parks became the President]], which caused [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII Hitler]] to lead the South in secession.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/et-tu-brute-spoilers/107136/ One student]] thought Julius Caesar was a fictional character while another thought Caesar was a woman.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-class-is-bombing/38993/ This senile history teacher]] has the events of World War 2's Pacific Theater in reverse, believing that Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour in reposnse to the US atomic bombings of Nakasagi and Hiroshima.
* ArtisticLicenseStatistics: [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-you-can-truly-say-that-math-is-gay/ "So I read this thing on the Internet that said that one in four girls will turn out to be a lesbian. ...That means one of us here has got to be gay!"]]
* AsianAndNerdy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/might-i-suggest-a-stereotypewriter/ Here's one guy]] who seems to think this is the norm.
* AskAStupidQuestion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/vh1-behind-the-sarcasm/ This teacher]] gives a sarcastic response to why she'll be on leave for the next month and a half. At least one student is SarcasmBlind, and the rest don't seem to know how to respond.
* AssimilationAcademy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/blue-in-the-face-over-the-dino/ The teacher from this story]] sends a student to the office for coloring dinosaurs imaginatively rather than what color they "really" were. The student's mom calls the teacher (and principal, who sides with the teacher) on their idiocy before pulling the student out of that school entirely.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-way-to-ring-in-the-new-year/ A rare teacher example.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/whats-cooler-is-a-castle-filled-with-transformers/125288/ A group of kindergarten students]] pass by a castle on a class field trip (note this story takes place in Kentucky). While they wonder what a castle is doing there for a second, the topic quickly changes over to wishing that they could be Franchise/{{Transformers}}
* AttentionWhore: The girl [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this story]] calls "Problem Girl" is notorious for going to great lengths to get attention and is unpopular because of it. Judging by the fact students don't seem to blame her apparent learning disability for her actions, not even the other special needs students like her. If students don't shower her with attention, she's prone to do "some pretty crazy things to make sure [they] will", and she attempts a WoundedGazelleGambit (that thankfully fails due to her incompetence) on the poor girl that makes the mistake of calling her out.
* AxCrazy: [[https://notalwaysright.com/theyre-gunning-for-you/90404/ This student]] was planning to shoot his teacher because the teacher stopped him from trying to pick a fight with another student.
* BadassBookworm / GeniusBruiser: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-power-of-a-kenya-do-attitude/ This security guard and self-taught electrical engineer]].
* BeatBag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/will-have-some-high-cats-tonight/ This student]] unsuccessfully tries it. Protip: [[DoWrongRight If you're going to try and scam someone this way]], A) try to make sure that they would want the product you're purporting to sell, and B) [[WhatAnIdiot don't use a container where the seal hasn't yet been broken]].
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: "What exactly are you looking to get out of this class?" "[[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-get-with-the-programming/ Oh, a passing grade.]]" Come end of semester, the smart-mouthed and class-cutting student gets exactly that: a passing grade... two letters below the one they'd actually ''earned''.
* BeliefMakesYouStupid:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/like-tolkien-to-a-brick-deeping-wall/32952/ This woman.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/freedom-of-screech/ "You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/irish-fooling-herself/ This college student]] thinks an Irish man will come to her in the US because she made a deal with Jesus.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-was-there-in-spirit/ A story]] about the often-heard argument against evolution.
** Also occasionally inverted, as seen [[http://notalwaysright.com/troll-hunting/ here]]. One guy is like ''"You're wearing a cross necklace? You're probably a homophobic racist like the rest of them!"''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-is-magma-nimous/ This mad mom]] thinks that the science teacher is an atheist teaching their kids about Satan... because she doesn't think volcanoes are real. In Washington, the location of ''five'' active volcanoes (Mt. Adams, Mt. Baker, Glacier Peak, Mt. St Helens, and Mt. Rainier), one of which (Mt. St Helens) erupted quite famously in 1980.
* BigBrotherInstinct: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-standard-setting-for-the-older-brother/ "Because that's my little sister, and she has standards."]]
* BigYes and BigNo: [[http://notalwaysright.com/playing-with-fire/ This kid]] yells both in sequence at a fire alarm that turns out to be a false alarm.
* BilingualBackfire:
** Subverted here, when [[http://notalwaysright.com/parlez-snooze-francais/ this French teacher]] expects a backfire but none occurs, [[FlockOfWolves because the student in question was the only one in the entire class who actually learned French, instead of cheating by using translators]].
** A kid [[http://notalwaysright.com/lost-in-transl-asian/ here]] tries to insult another student in Spanish, thinking that they didn't understand the language. Too bad for him the student did.
* BleepDammit: An unintentional meta example with [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-wankourage-bad-behavior/ this story]], where the word "wieners" is censored but the word "[[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch wank]]" (in the title) is not.
* BrandNameTakeover: Even extends into the ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/hes-a-cultural-geicon/ animal kingdom]]''. According to one student, a certain species of small green lizard is known as a ''Advertising/{{Geico}}'', not a ''gecko''.
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/puts-his-own-spin-on-it/ ...we have the printmaking studio!]] This is the largest studio space in the building and includes two etching presses, two lithography presses, and... [[ItMakesSenseInContext and various medieval torture devices]]."
* {{Bowdlerization}}: According to the student (and the professor!) in [[http://notalwaysright.com/writing-off-their-handwriting/ this]] quote, they actually changed it from "My handwriting is like a drunk epileptic spider that fell in an inkpot and had a seizure on the page" to "My handwriting is like a drunk spider that fell in an inkpot and tried to walk on the page."
* BrickJoke:
** A student asks their teacher about his habit of bringing a Wiffle bat to class, and the teacher will only say that it "comes in handy every now and then". [[http://notalwaysright.com/shouldnt-bat-a-drooping-eyelid/ Three months later]], the student learns the answer firsthand.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-how-you-remind-me-what-is-on-the-exam/ Nickelback]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/punch-time-line/ This student]] asks the teacher if she gets a joke involving a time traveller a couple of minutes before telling the joke.
* BullyingADragon: [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This one student]] who lunged after another kid, knowing full well that he studied martial arts. The other kid knocked the wind out of him with one kick.
* BunnyEarsLawyer:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/disbelieving-his-beliefs/ This teacher]] may be nuts, but he uses his eccentricity to make a point.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gives-new-meaning-test-hard/ A student who signs his tests "Megapenis"]] has the highest grades in the class.
* ByThePowerOfGrayskull: Invoked but subverted by [[http://notalwaysright.com/masters-degrees-of-the-universe/ this professor]].
* CallingMeALogarithm: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-specie-ous-argument/33313/ This woman]] takes offense to her daughter's teacher referring to the human species as ''homo sapiens.''
-->'''Angry parent:''' Most people in the world identify as hetero sapiens, thank you very much. We don’t like being lumped together with f***!
* CampingACrapper: [[http://notalwaysright.com/dying-to-use-the-bathroom/ This student will never forget what the most common place for medieval assassination was.]]
* CassandraTruth: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-a-grade-is-silent/104299/ The teacher here]] continually calls the submitter "Ellie," laughing when the submitter tells the teacher that her name is Aileen, believing that the student is merely joking. This continues for the entire semester, culminating in the teacher failing Aileen for having never showed up. The subsequent meeting with Aileen, her counselor, and the teacher revealed she wrongly failed and confused Aileen for another student that actually was named Ellie (who had never attended the class).
* ChainOfCorrections: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-tower-of-baboons/ A lesson gets sidetracked by one of these.]]
* CheatersNeverProsper: A very common theme.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/el-burro-sabe-mas-que-tu/ This bully]] tries to cheat the protagonist, but said protagonist feeds her bad info that the cheater accepts without question. "[[GratuitousSpanish El burro sabe más que tú]][[note]][[BilingualBonus The donkey knows more than you]][[/note]]", indeed.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/be-sure-to-copy-the-right-copy/ This student]] apparently has a habit of copying the answers from other students. It backfires when said student copies the answers off a classmate who doesn't have the same copy of the test that the cheater does.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/be-sure-to-copy-the-right-copy-part-2/ "During the test, [other student] was asking me for the answers. ...So I gave him the wrong answers."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/those-who-cant-cheat/ This student]] is accused of copying off another pair of students by a teacher that doesn't like [[AmbiguousGender him/her]]. Said student then, as part of an agreement with the teacher, deliberately fails the next test to catch the real cheaters. Sadly, [[KarmaHoudini the cheaters were never punished]] because they were the teacher's favorite students.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/searching-for-history-repeated/ Another student writing down the wrong answers to catch cheaters.]] In this case, the teacher ''knows'' that the student knows better, and is puzzled until the student lets the teacher know why it was done. Next day, both cheaters are ridiculed, then moved to different parts of the classroom where they ''couldn't'' cheat off anyone.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-cheat-at-his-game/ This student]] admits to attempting to cheat at a physics exam by writing down formulas on the desk. The teacher catches this and orders everyone to change seats for the exam.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation-part-2/ Double whammy here]]. Not only is a student about to get another student in trouble by taking money to write an essay for him, he isn't even ''competent'' in grammar. Bonus points for the submitter (who's a teacher) being asked to check the essay-writer's work -- which allowed her to report both students.
** What's the result of three students handing in the exact same essay? [[http://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation-part-3/ This.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/felt-cheated-by-the-grade/ Another]] student deliberately puts down wrong answers to trap a cheater - then surreptitiously changes them all to the proper answers afterwards before handing the test in.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-is-french-for-emasculated/ Here]], a student who's better at French gets a JerkJock to say he has a TeenyWeenie.
** Ignorance is when you get the answers wrong on a test. [[http://notalwaysright.com/ignorance-versus-stupidity/ Stupidity is copying the ignorant student's wrong answers on your own]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/shouldnt-do-a-copy-of-a-copy/ "Practices improved when doctors realized they needed to stop copying my work."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/failed-at-cheating/ "This test is rigged." "No, you just suck at cheating."]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-testing-set-of-circumstances-2/36483/ "You b***! I’m going to fail!"]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/only-getting-a-middleearth-grade-2/38622/ This cheater]] copy's another student answers but fails the test because the student he copied from actually wrote wrong answers using Lord of the Rings before erasing them with the correct answers.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/figuring-dummies-dummy/97051/ When a student learns his classmates]] have been copying his work to pass, during the final exam, he submits an exam paper with wrong answers for the cheaters to copy before switching it with the real one with correct answers.
* ChirpingCrickets: [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-offtweet-sense-of-humor/ Invoked by the author here.]]
* CloudCuckooLander: [[http://notalwaysright.com/following-this-conversation-is-fruitless/ "I thought]] about how it should really be ‘im-grapefruit-ment’ because grapefruits are sour and getting impeached would be a sour experience.” Er, okay then.
* ClusterFBomb:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-apple-doesnt-foul-far-from-the-tree/ Well, that certainly answers the teacher's question.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-mommys-curse/ It certainly does.]]
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-income-figure-of-speech/ We're not poor, we're middle class!]]
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/se-habla-mexicanol/ this story]], a student's partner asks if Mexico's official language is Mexican. The student assumes that he's joking and says yes, since it's not like they're doing this in a Spanish class, to which the partner replies with surprise at being right.
** After a teacher calls Ernest Hemingway a "lefty", referring to his political views, [[http://notalwaysright.com/about-to-get-left-behind/ this student]] wonders what being left-handed has to do with anything.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-small-problem-with-that/ This student]] wants his teacher to check a problem for him. Normally, this is good behavior... but he asks during an exam. He can't understand why the teacher can't just give him the answer.
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-class-is-having-a-day-off/ this story]], a student teacher asks for a response, and after getting nothing, says that he'll start calling out names. He begins with [[Film/FerrisBuellersDayOff "Bueller? Bueller?"]] and a girl replies "Is the answer Bueller?!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/swearing-by-the-wrong-word/ This kid]] thinks he got in trouble for saying the word "gob" - as in, telling his teacher to "shut her f***ing gob".
** Courtesy of the language barrier: [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-what-the-devil-he-is-saying/ this teacher]] scolds her Japanese student for his rudeness after he tells her to "go to hell." The student promptly looks horrified.
--->'''Student:''' "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Umm. Let's go to Hell together!"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This class asks a student]] why she made a biography on Oprah when it was supposed to be about South African women. She calls everyone racist for saying "South African", [[WeAllLiveInAmerica as opposed to "African-American"]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-slaving-over-the-historical-accuracy/ Wait. Did slaves get paid?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-hard-work-when-youre-hardly-working-part-2/ This student]] is stated in the beginning of the story to have ''not once'' turned in any work for a class - and then he expects the teacher to tell a potential employer that he is a hard worker.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/red-light-plight/ “Does this really mean ‘I bought my girlfriend in Amsterdam’?””]] “I had a look and told her, “No. It means ‘I bought ‘a‘ girlfriend in Amsterdam’.”
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/what-leftist-nonsense/124228/ This teacher and principal]] can't seem to grasp that the submitter only uses their left hand to write since the right hand was amputated long ago and are more interested on how to make a defiant student use their right hand that doesn't exist.
* ConversationalTroping: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/of-fourth-walls-and-poke-balls/ No breaking the fourth wall!]]"
* ConvictionByCounterfactualClue: [[https://notalwaysright.com/misogyny-is-a-lie-ability/ These criminal law students]] are given an exercise to see how well they can spot a lie. Only one student is shown to take a guess - and he's always wrong, because his logic is always [[StayInTheKitchen "you're a girl"]].
* CoolAndUnusualPunishment:
** Using a cell phone in the library with a "no phones" policy? [[https://notalwaysright.com/stretch-the-rules-and-your-librarian-might-snap/ Snap!]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/witness-versus-witless/ One girl]] gets into a fight to defend a disabled friend. Her "punishment" (given out only because it was required by the rules)? Write an essay about how to win a fight.
** Fail to hand in your work on time, and [[https://notalwaysright.com/hand-in-your-work-or-face-the-music/ this teacher]] might announce it over the intercom... or worse, ''[[DreadfulMusician sing]]''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teaching-is-not-his-only-calling/ This professor]] will utterly humiliate anyone who has a cell phone ring in his class.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/pardon-his-french/ Insulting the French, in front of your French professor?]] He assigns the guilty student an essay on France-USA relations.
* CrazyPrepared: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cant-catch-red-handed/ This student]] is so used to people thinking her red hair is artificial because of her mixed Japanese-Irish heritage. When a teacher accuses her of breaking the school dress code, she pulls out a DNA test and detailed explanation of how her genes produce her hair colour. Apparently this has happened a lot.
* CrimeOfSelfDefense:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/was-bra-ced-for-a-different-reaction/35572/ This story]] has a girl get in trouble for decking a boy after he undid her bra.
** Taken UpToEleven [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-bad-detention-retention/36141/ here]], where a kid gets in trouble just for ''being choked out by the [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections vice-principal's son]]''.
* CriticalResearchFailure: [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/do-juneau-how-stupid-you-sound/ "You thought Alaska was an ISLAND?"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ This student]] apparently thinks the correct term to call a South African person is "African-American", despite them ''not being American''. When the rest of the class points this out, the student calls them racist.
** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-united-states-of-africa/ this teacher]] refers to people in Africa as "African-Americans", even after a student points out they are ''not'' American. Worse, the teacher also makes the opposite mistake of assuming white Africans cannot be native to the continent.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-no-joker/ This student]], in trying to one-up the submitter when questioned about heroes, states that people like Franchise/{{Superman}} and Franchise/{{Batman}} can't be heroes, because they have superpowers. Batman [[BadassNormal does not have superpowers]]. [[YouKeepUsingThatWord She also claims that heroes with powers are "anti-heroes"]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/native-idiocy/ "Hmm… well, I’m half German and half Irish, so I don’t think I have much European in me."]] Cue most of the class bursting out in laughter.
* {{Crossdresser}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/show-your-professor-some-puppy-love/ This professor]], during one Halloween.
* CrowdSong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/well-that-was-f-u-n/ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/take-me-or-leave-me-confused/ These theater students]] get bored in the dressing room and start singing "[[Theatre/{{Rent}} Take Me or Leave Me]]".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-class-got-a-bit-haddaway/ Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!]]
* CryingWolf: [[http://notalwaysright.com/weve-reached-the-tripping-point/ This kid]] falls afoul of it, but not for the usual reason--it wasn't so much that the teacher didn't ''believe'' him, but that the teacher was so sick and tired of him pulling that stunt that she looked the other way when it happened for real.
* CuteBruiser: [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This first grade girl.]]
* DarkIsNotEvil: [[https://notalwaysright.com/old-classic-music-routine/38994/ One new clerk]] calls the police on a guy with tattoos and piercings for taking one little girl after school. Had she bothered to check the school's files before calling, she would have realized that he was the girl's uncle and was registered to pick her up if her father wasn't available. The file even had his picture. She didn't last for very long.
* DeadpanSnarker: In response to a drama queen playing up a case of asthma (if she even ''has'' asthma) and claiming she could die if she doesn't get a drink of water, this teacher responds: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-teachers-logic-is-unquestionable/ "I think we can live with that."]]
* DeathOfTheAuthor: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/reading-too-much-into-it/ This author]] doesn't much care for one professor's interpretation of the use of blue for a room.
* DelayedReaction:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/at-ones-wits-end/ This girl]] has one to a teacher's StealthInsult.
** This is how [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-punchy-punch-line/ these two students]] became friends.
* DeliberateValuesDissonance: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unagreeably-agreeable/ To this teacher's surprise]], both his male and female students agree that the male protagonist in a Chinese story they were studying was a jerk. Possibly due to different cultural values, the teacher expected some students to side with the protagonist.
* DeliciousDistraction: [[https://notalwaysright.com/barking-mad/ During a lockdown drill]] (in which a police dog was simply allowed to run though the halls with his handler, instead of being given orders), the dog went into full alert ... over a ham sandwich in a student's locker.
* DeusAngstMachina: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-power-of-a-kenya-do-attitude/ This security guard]] was rendered homeless three times by the time he was 22 due to faulty wiring. So he teaches himself electrical work (very well)... and his house burns down due to a drunk driver when he is 23.
-->'' So I gave up and moved to America.''
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud:
** What [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-science-of-self-incrimination/ this student]] was likely thinking when they made a snarky remark when the teacher commented about a news article about lewd websites.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/singing-from-the-same-joke-book/ All but outright stated]] after the student makes a joke insulting the band director. Luckily the director had a sense of humor.
* DidntThinkThisThrough:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/series-unfortunate-choices/90409/ This teacher]] should have thought twice before giving a five year to read Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents.
** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this story]], a serial AttentionWhore's [[WoundedGazelleGambit attempt to falsely accuse the submitter of cyberbullying her]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard falls apart in spectacular fashion]] when she sends more bullying texts and bursts into the office of the teacher she talked to while the submitter ''doesn't have access to her phone because she's in his office about to be punished for the "bullying"''.
* {{Dismotivation}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/easily-obvious/ These]] students ''aren't'' stupid, despite completely failing a very easy multiple choice test.
-->'''Teacher''': I'll make a deal with everyone: if you come to class every day, listen, take notes, and study one hour before the test, I'll make the next test easy.\\
'''Student''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint If we do that, OF COURSE it will be easy!]]
* DisproportionateRetribution:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/easily-gets-hopping-mad/ This teacher]] forced the submitter, then a first grader, to stand facing a chain-link fence, then after five minutes, shouted at the submitter and forced him/her to stand silently in a corner long enough to not only miss lunch, but for another teacher to ''declare the submitter missing''. What did the submitter do to deserve ''that''? For the former punishment, the submitter hopped down ''two steps'', which apparently was enough to make him/her a "demented animal" in that teacher's mind, and for the latter punishment, the submitter sneezed and banged his/her head on the fence, which apparently equaled "making a commotion". Needless to say, that teacher was removed from supervisory duties.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-be-brailled-out-of-that-class/ This teacher]] drags the submitter (then a first grader on the first day of school) to the principal's office in tears because he's "too immature" and "obviously not ready" for school because he won't speak sign language. The principal has to reveal to her what was [[FailedASpotCheck clearly in the submitter's file]] ... that the submitter doesn't speak sign language because he's ''[[InternalReveal blind]].''
** Why did [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ this horrible girl]] attempt to accuse another girl, the submitter, of cyberbullying her, which would have resulted in criminal prosecution if Problem Girl hadn't got herself caught in her own lies? Because the submitter had called Problem Girl out for pretending to be pregnant.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/after-a-few-hundred-years-a-guy-cant-change-his-look/132438/ A group of kids]] are banned from recess for the day for the heinous crime of coloring Santa Claus's suit a color other than red on their Christmas coloring pages. (Or, in the case of one poor kid, coloring Santa's suit red, but coloring his gloves ''green''.)
* TheDitz: But of course.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-klass-of-2015/ "K as in 'chicken'."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-slow-it-hertz/ This student is studying computer science]]... and he doesn't even know what an internet browser is.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-enjoy-bird-watching-but-quite-likes-the-woods/ I swear]] I'm not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/somethings-not-right-clicking-with-this-student/ This student]] somehow confuses a paper test (from a computer screenshot) for an actual computer.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-sea-the-class-as-half-fool/ Here]] we have two ''college'' students who don't know [[GlobalIgnorance geography]] ''or'' [[WritersCannotDoMath basic math]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/welts-in-your-wouth/ "One of my M&Ms has a W on it!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/back-to-the-teacher/ A series of convenient events]] convinces a girl that a ventilation cabinet is actually a time machine.
* ADogAteMyHomework: Yes, it happens. [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion/ Almost]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion-part-2/ always]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dog-gone-conclusion-part-3/ lampshaded]].
* DoubleStandard:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/policy-as-mad-as-a-hatter/ Kids are allowed to have their PHONES on them]][[note]]Ostensibly to keep in touch with their parents, but this privilege is frequently abused[[/note]], but HATS aren’t allowed because they’re a distraction?"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/tolerating-intolerance-can-be-intolerable/33034/ A Christian student]] is called out by his teacher for finding Hindu Mythology ridiculous and hard to believe yet he has no problem in believing with the ridiculous parts of the Bible.
* DoWrongRight: A teacher finds a crudely-drawn penis on the classroom whiteboard, and lectures the vandals in front of the entire class... [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-had-it-coming/92314/ about the incorrect anatomy]].
* EducationThroughPyrotechnics: Why one of the best jobs for a PyroManiac is "[[http://notalwaysright.com/firing-up-a-passion-for-science/ Science Teacher]]".
* EekAMouse: [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-a-rodent-in-your-class/ Somehow she didn't notice it until that afternoon.]]
* ElSpanishO: [[http://notalwaysright.com/el-burro-sabe-mas-que-tu/ This bully]] seems to think the Spanish language works this way.
* EntendreFailure: [[http://notalwaysright.com/biology-101-one-on-one/ Biology lesson.]]
* EntertaininglyWrong: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-thinking-is-continents-apart/ this story]], the poster claimed her (visibly white) mother was African-American and a classmate accuses her of lying; it is eventually explained that [[ExactWords she meant her mother was an American born in Africa]] which her mother confirms.
* EskimosArentReal: [[https://notalwaysright.com/gotta-carveem-all/37617/ This student]] mistakes a narwhal for a kind of Franchise/{{Pokemon}}.
* EverybodyHatesMathematics: Naturally, there are a few stories about people complaining about math.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-getting-into-the-vulcan-science-academy/ This student]] says the usual "When am I going to use this" line. Too bad he said it in a ''Logic'' class.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-can-be-a-slippery-slope/ In this story]] a student asks how Calculus could be useful, so the teacher gives a situation, albeit a [[SpaceWhaleAesop pretty unlikely one]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-should-stick-to-sin-language/ Another complaint]], with an amusing response.
* EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/reading-too-much-into-it/ Here.]] The author disagrees.
-->'''College Student''': Our professor told us that [character]'s room being blue is a symbol of his loneliness and isolation. Is that what you meant?\\
'''Author''': No. I just like blue. You can tell your professor they’re full of s***.
* ExactWords:
** How [[http://notalwaysright.com/rounding-numbers-and-grounding-kids/ this teacher]] once got away with returning home late. As he warns, however, ItOnlyWorksOnce.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-grease-their-way-into-it/ This person]] tries to argue against a return policy with this logic. It's ''not'' water damage, it's ''taco grease''. Who cares if it makes the book illegible in entirely the same manner?
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cracking-on-the-first-week/ "Students are to wear bottoms high enough so that no undergarments are showing."]] A student tries (and fails) to get around this by [[GoingCommando not wearing underwear]].
** The class is playing an {{Expy}} of ''Series/FamilyFeud''. One team tries to call themselves the Llamas, but the professor insists it be a family name and calls them the "Lamas" (like the Dalai Lama.) The team then asks the professor to add another L, and he [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-spelling-is-lludicrous/ changes the name to the "Lamals."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-you-want-to-hit-the-bottle/ One teacher,]] annoyed with her class singing "The Song That Never Ends" asked them to pick a song that actually does end. Well, the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/_Bottles_of_Beer next song they pick]] does actually end... eventually.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-longing-to-move-belongings/ This student gets their stuff moved by the teacher]], and the next time the student leaves the classroom, said student tells the teacher not to move their stuff. The teacher moves the desk instead.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/never-going-figure/92310/ This teacher]] tells a homophobic student he's been taught by a gay teacher for the past three years, and the student switched to another class. However the teacher himself isn't gay but the student's history teacher ''is,'' and he and his husband are going to meet the student's parents.
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/sodium-so-dum-3/129663/ We didn't hear anything unexpected, officer!]]" The science teachers were detonating unwanted sodium samples in the rain, and a neighbor had reported hearing explosions. If you know and plan the explosions, they're not unexpected...
* ExtremeOmniGoat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/pray-he-is-only-kidding/ Apparently]], the [[ArtisticLicenseBiology only actual omnivore in existence]].
* {{Facepalm}}:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/english-history-one-oh-dumb/ Teacher: *palm meets face* “Let me stop you right there.”]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/try-to-appeal-that-answer/ Me: *double facepalm*]]
* FailedASpotCheck:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/for-goodness-psych/ This professor]] fails his listen check.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/students-can-be-fired/ This student]] fails to notice that her hand is on fire.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-double-take-is-aptly-named/ This professor]] fails to realize which sister is which when they decide to prank him. He's a psychology professor, so he later uses the incident as an example in the section of the class having to do with memory and pattern recognition.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cantonese-believe-im-hearing/108024/ The submitter and their friend]] both fail to notice their classmates in the background listening in to their conversation.
* FawltyTowersPlot: [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sugary-sweet/ This professor]] first chews out the student for using a cell phone in an ''empty'' classroom, claiming grounds for expulsion. Right on cue, the professor's own phone rings, and she answers it, talking in the classroom. When the student calls her out on the DoubleStandard, she claims the call was from her boss, the dean. Naturally, the dean happens to walk by the classroom, and having overheard that last comment, asks what he had allegedly done. The student reports ''exactly'' what just happened. While the professor ''wasn't'' fired, the student was compensated for a laptop the professor had damaged by spilling the student's coffee on it, and a different professor taught the course for the rest of the term.
* FemaleMisogynist: [[http://notalwaysright.com/dread-every-period-with-this-teacher/ This]] Sunday School teacher, who gives a sermon on how periods are evil, to a female student who dared to have one.
* FreudianSlip: Appropriately enough, [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-fraudulent-slip/ when finishing a discussion about Freud]].
* FridgeHorror: The implications for "all the kings' horses" in the old nursery rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" are [[http://notalwaysright.com/sent-to-the-glue-factory/ discussed in this class]]. [[invoked]]
* FromTheMouthsOfBabes:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-wankourage-bad-behavior/ “Sensei! Do Americans really have giant wieners?”]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/fight-and-focus-on/ "Trojans? Is that a condom shirt?!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/let-sleeping-with-teachers-lie/ "So the university makes you do that so you can practice sleeping with other teachers?"]]
* FunWithAcronyms: [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-was-a-cownjugal-visit/ Somebody... Please... Enter... Respectively... Moo?]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/flawed-banter-grades-low/ Fat B***es Get Laid!]]"
* HandsGoDown: [[http://notalwaysright.com/first-grade-problems/ These]] first graders all wanted milk-coated cookies.
* HateSink: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-professor-transplant/ This]] college professor. The anecdote even starts off with ''"We have a very important test coming up in two weeks for a class with a notoriously terrible, cruel, opinionated, self-centered, professor, who is on the verge of being kicked out of the university."'' You have to wonder why on Earth the professor won't let this test slide because a student needs to go in for ''kidney-transplant surgery''. It's pretty damn hard to fake that.
* HeadDesk:
** The last line of one entry: [[https://notalwaysright.com/needs-lift-abilities-get-lift/ Me: “No…” *proceeds to bang head on desk*]]
* HehHehYouSaidX:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/their-poo-h-d-is-a-total-waste/ Toxic dump...]] Sorry. The imagery is just...."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/obviously-they-prefer-fartissimo/ I can't do PP!]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/and-drums-for-an-comedic-rimshot/ The inevitable joke]] about a guitarist who forgets to take a certain string.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/maturity-0/117277/ "4q…"]]
* HenpeckedHusband: [[http://notalwaysright.com/happy-wife-happy-life-lessons/ This young man]] gets an early start on this attitude.
* HoistByHisOwnPetard:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/judge-not-lest-ye-get-jumped/ This Bible-thumper]] quotes verse in laying down judgments about the students she tutors. The students revolt by [[BotheringByTheBook Bothering By the Good Book]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-lesson-on-hold/ This professor]] subjects herself to the same humiliation as she would have for any of her students.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touching-conclusion/ This student]] attempts to get the submitter kicked off a class trip by falsely accusing him (the submitter) of touching him (the other student) during a test. It fails because other students in the class spoke up in favor of the submitter, and the [[LaserGuidedKarma other student was kicked off the trip instead.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-just-fd-yourself/91206/ One jerk student]] tries to humiliate a submitter's presentation file by adding pornography in their work and making it look it was his. Too bad the submitter's friend was able to show the presentation was modified by the jerk student thanks to the program's file logs which gets the jerk an F and a detention.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/composing-her-own-demise/90397/ This music teacher's]] harsh training which curtails freedom and creatvity ends up making the students worse and got her fired.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ This]] AttentionWhore's attempt to escalate a WoundedGazelleGambit backfires because the teacher she first approached is talking to the submitter (the girl she accused of cyberbullying) and her mother about the alleged bullying and has been for several minutes, meaning the submitter had no means ''of'' bullying her at the time the new texts were sent.
* HonestJohnsDealership: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-slow-and-the-delirious/ Revealed by a young lady]] who knows more about cars than the guy would like. His blatant StayInTheKitchen attitude does ''not'' help his case.
* HowManyFingers: [[http://notalwaysright.com/giving-the-teacher-the-one-finger-salute/ This teacher]] asks the question while holding up all five fingers. After insisting that the answer was "four" because [[RulesLawyer the thumb doesn't count as a "finger"]], one student responds with the question, with [[FlippingTheBird the answer being "one"]].
* HumanSacrifice: [[https://notalwaysright.com/translations-at-war/ Here]]:
--> Teacher: “What do you guys think was the most important factor in winning a battle in the Civil War?” ...
--> Exchange Student: “Human sacrifice.”
* HurricaneOfPuns:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-many-wheys-to-milk-a-pun/ Two students]] banter back and forth with cheese.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/over-ewe-sed-ram-blings/ Here's a particularly ba-a-a-ad one.]]
* HypnoFool: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-minds-were-clear-before-he-even-started/ this story]], a hypnotist tells a group of students, "And now... I turn down the gravity!" All of them act like he's turned the gravity ''up.''
* {{Hypocrite}}:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-smoker-of-two-evils/ Sweets are bad for you!]] But cigarettes are A-OK apparently.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/practice-what-you-teach/ I will not tolerate plagiarism!]] Now let's look at this [=PowerPoint=] presentation which has information I just copied from some other websites... (Apparently, the teacher got even ''worse'' as the year went on.)
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-get-a-word-in-nursewise/ Your brother is in college?]] Why didn't you say so earlier, when I wasn't letting you say so earlier?
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-sugary-sweet/ No cellphones in class!]] Now, excuse me while I take this call...
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-blind-faith/ Retarded and homosexual people deserve to die!]] But don't make fun of teen mothers, you could offend someone!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/two-rights-make-her-wrong/ This teacher]], after teaching a class what rights they have as students, tries to force them to miss both lunch period and most of the class following that in favor of taking a mock test by arguing that, as students, they have ''no'' rights. Between this incident and generally being totally incompetent at what she does, the teacher is fired before the week is out, and the citizenship class she was teaching is scrapped after its first year.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-ironic-side-of-genocide/ This student who doesn't understand genocides]] says that they should get rid of all stupid people.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/waxing-philosophical-about-this/ This guy]] tries to brag about having received a Ph.D. at the end of the story, despite it being entirely about him not knowing what "Ph.D." actually stands for.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-mommys-curse/ This mother]] who curses out her son for swearing and using the "N" word while using it herself, and failing to understand where he gets it from.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/forget-you/ This lecturer]] has been getting the submitter and others in trouble with their apprenticeship for being five minutes late getting back from lunch. The very next day after they complain, the lecturer is ''half an hour'' late, and tries to tell them [[DoubleStandard he's allowed to be late because he has important things to do]] - like forgetting about the lesson entirely, as he admitted when he entered the room.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/coming-midterms-bad-teacher/90171/ This algebra teacher]] tells his students he's willing to help tutor them in math but won't help the submitter who the teacher hates and tells her to figure it out for herself.
* IAmNotShazam: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/frown-on-charlie-brown/ This professor]] who thinks [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Charlie Brown]] is called "Peanut". And she's an art appreciation teacher no less!
* IAmNotSpock: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/desecrating-science-and-history-at-the-same-time/ A teacher makes a mistake along these lines here,]] confusing the commander of Apollo 13 with [[Creator/TomHanks the actor]] who played him in [[Film/{{Apollo 13}} the film]].
* IAmSpartacus: After [[http://notalwaysright.com/methodist-and-the-madness/ this Bible teacher]] states that Methodists are going to Hell, an ''actual'' Methodist student objects. Eventually, the entire class claims to be Methodists and walks out.
* IMeantToDoThat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-professor-is-making-me-nervous/ Invoked by this professor]]. Thankfully, it fit into the lesson he was teaching that day.
* INeedToGoIronMyDog: [[http://notalwaysright.com/signs-its-time-for-a-break/ I need to see a fast dentist]]. ItMakesSenseInContext.
* INeverSaidItWasPoison: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-woes/ A security guard catches a camera thief with this method.]]
* IWasBeatenByAGirl: [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ A grade four bully loses to a grade one girl.]]
* IgnoredEpiphany: [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-students-auto-be-expelled/ This student]] believed he could flunk high school and still get by fine as a mechanic. His teacher, who was a mechanic for 20 years, easily demonstrates that he still needs an education to succeed at that job. The student's response? "F*** YOU, OLD MAN!"
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/time-to-assay-the-essay-situation/ You can’t expect me to mark essays! I deal in science, not WORDS.]]"
* ImAManICantHelpIt: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/unproductive-mis-conceptions/ You can’t expect people to control their population just by not having sex.]]"
* InherentlyFunnyWords:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-can-butt-in-just-this-once/ Flying buttresses]]. The teacher is GenreSavvy enough to let the class get the laughs out of their systems before continuing.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/why-does-every-joke-sound-like-chicken/ Well, I didn't have a joke. But people just laugh when I say 'chicken'!]]"
* InnocentInnuendo:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/now-play-the-thong-song/ "I pulled off my G string!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tests-can-make-you-testy/ "Wow, if this is a quizzie, I’d hate to see your testes."]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/graded-a-bee-minus/34134/ Somebody stole my beeotch!]]
* InsaneTrollLogic:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-a-uniform-assessment/ Students getting their grades docked for not wearing their PE uniform]], when said uniform is on back-order and they will not receive it for another couple of weeks. Thankfully, in this case it's an accident, rather than deliberately failing kids over things beyond their control.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-multiplication-doesnt-add-up/ This substitute teacher]] gives a student a low grade in their math test ''because she actually worked out and solved the problems'', rather than memorizing a table with the answers on them, even though all of the student's answers were correct. She then tries to argue that memorizing the answers out of context is more productive than learning how to find them out on one's own.
*** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/stopping-the-problem-before-it-multiplies/ this teacher]] is actually failing the submitter because she is getting multiplication questions correct. Her dad puts her in a different school within the week.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-or-stay-or-go-or/ You can stay here. Except you can't. But you can, but you also can't.]] The submitter actually ponders at the end whether an honest-to-God real security guard was really being that stupid, or if it was a dehydration-induced hallucination.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/keeping-partnership-civil/90180/ This teacher]] tries to claim banning same-sex marriage is not bigotry since he can't marry a man since he's already married which a student calls out on the teacher for his poor excuse and won't explain and defend his views.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-dangerous-right/90651/ This substitute teacher doesn't believe in left-handedness.]] She outright states that the submitter is a victim of child abuse and that his parents were drug addicts who tortured him into being left handed.
* InsistentTerminology:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-erase-that-outburst/ This student]] [[DidntThinkThisThrough ends up giving away that he threw a piece of eraser at another student]], because that student thought it was a spitball at first.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/giving-sporting-chance-2/ This student]] hates gym, and is assured by the guidance counselor that they will not be taking gym. The submitter is instead put into [[InNameOnly "Today's Sports,"]] which is different from gym simply because it's an elective, as opposed to a health class. The student in question is not happy with this.
* TheInternetIsForPorn: [[http://notalwaysright.com/prince-albert-was-a-dck/ This teacher]] learns the hard way about doing a Google image search on Prince Albert. ([[DontExplainTheJoke "Prince Albert" is a certain style of male genital piercing]])
* IsThatCuteKidYours: It happens [[http://notalwaysright.com/invasion-of-the-snotty-dispatchers/ here]], but the man helpfully points out that he and the woman he was with, along with the four kids they were supervising, were all from different countries, and they were wearing clothes that indicated that they were part of an international exchange project.
* ItWasHisSled: [[invoked]] [[SubvertedTrope A subversion]]--apparently, at least one student doesn't realize [[http://notalwaysright.com/stupidity-will-be-the-death-of-you/ the title character is going to die]]...in ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman'' (for those who don't know the play, the title ''is'' meant literally).
* ItMakesSenseInContext: [[http://notalwaysright.com/several-musical-notes/ "In the second and third movement I kind of picture Mary and Jesus in the Millennium Falcon..."]] Unfortunately, no context is given.
* ItsWhatIDo: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-throw-tests-like-a-little-girl/ this story]], after a physical fitness test, a teacher remarks that a class seems to have the condition of 12-year-old girls. One of the students points out that they ''are'' 12-year-old girls.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tropes J-P]]
* JapaneseRanguage: [[http://notalwaysright.com/lets-cut-the-clap/ "Then, another man began to crap. Soon, everyone is crapping. I think they enjoyed my song, after all."]]
* {{Jerkass}}: Unfortunately.
** Many stories tagged with "[[http://notalwaysright.com/category/bully bully]]", naturally, fall under this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/rewarding-behavior-part-2/ This teacher]] calls for a parent-teacher conference ''just to insult a completely different former student''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-victory-in-tragedy-part-2/ This teacher]] gives a student detention for being a few ''seconds'' late, which would be bad enough by itself - but it's made worse by the fact that the student's little brother had died the night before and the student been up all night. Fortunately another teacher and a counselor intervened, and when that failed the principal intervened personally.
*** While it's no ''excuse'' for the teacher's actions, perhaps the teacher had to deal with a few students like [[http://notalwaysright.com/dying-to-get-out-of-detention/ this]] in the past, and thought ''this'' student was pulling a similar stunt.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-blind-faith/ This student]] outlines their plan for if they ran the world - [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything round up all the "retards and gays" in special camps where they would be shot down daily]]. Add in Holocaust denial and self-serving hypocrisy (teen mothers "didn't do anything wrong" because his/her sister is one, but the groups s/he hates were "cursed by God" so it's okay) for the perfect trifecta of asshole.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/royally-screwed-over/ This teacher]], after complimenting a student on their ''Literature/TheOnceAndFutureKing'' project (calligraphy on a parchment scroll, having [[DoingItForTheArt learned calligraphy just for this]]), gives them a B- because ''the lines weren't completely straight''. For comparison, another student who just did the project on notebook paper and mistook a pair of kings for each other got a higher grade - when this is pointed out, the teacher tells the student "if you're going to do something, do it right!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/making-the-teacher-get-the-picture/ This teacher]] is apparently giving her students' Father's Day artwork to the wrong people just to be an asshole to them.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/group-fail/ These girls]] do next to no work for a presentation, forcing the submitter to do it all - and then they try to tell the teacher ''they'' were the hard-workers and the ''submitter'' was the lazy one.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/race-fail/ This teacher]] deliberately fails a first-grade student, even though all their answers were correct. Turns out it's because the student is one of the only Caucasian people in a class made up predominately of Hispanics, as evidenced by the teacher saying to her face that "I don’t care how blond or blue eyed you are, you will fail my class".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/coming-midterms-bad-teacher/90171/ This algebra teacher]] mocks and treats the submitter like she's stupid due to the latter being a quiet person and not very good in math. When the submitter asks the teacher for help, he refuses and says she should figure it out for herself. When the student gets hospitalized for a week, causing her to miss her midterms, the teacher refuses to let her take her exam and gives her a zero, claiming the submitter faked being sick so she could had time to study in spite of the fact the whole school was informed and proof was given. The submitter's father complains to the principal about what the teacher did, which causes the principal to order the teacher to allow the submitter to take her midterm exam in a quiet classroom. Instead, the teacher tries to fail the submitter again by not allowing her to take her exam in a quiet classroom, but in a noisy classroom to distract her so that she will fail the exam and coldly tells her she deserves it for "skipping" the midterms. Thankfully, the principal has had enough with the jerkass teacher and makes sure the midterm he sabotaged would not be included in the submitter's final score. The submitter got a new teacher who was more willing to help with her math problems, and the jerkass teacher was [[LaserGuidedKarma written up and later fired because other students and parents reported he did the same thing to them.]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sadly-know-type-teacher/110182/ This teacher]] acts like a jerk to a young boy because she doesn't believe he doesn't have a computer to type in his essays and accuses him of being a liar. And when his mother tells the teacher it's actually true, the teacher calls her a bad parent and demands that she buy a computer, not caring that the mother is poor and computers are too expensive (as this took place during the 1990s).
* JerkassHasAPoint: In a class about medicine, [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-one-killer-learning-curve/ one "teeny tiny" mistake really can have dire consequences]].
* JerkassRealization: [[http://notalwaysright.com/bullied-into-self-realization/ These two students]] realize the reason they were never bullied in school: They ''were'' the bullies.
* TheKeyIsBehindTheLock:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/in-need-of-fool-tuition-reimbursement/ You want me to pay full tuition to get to the point where I’ll only have to pay half tuition.]]" Thankfully, once the student says this, the employee at the financial office realizes their own mistake, though this is right after having phrased it ''slightly'' differently and not getting through to them.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/scheduling-a-scheduling-appointment/ So, before I can meet with a registrar who can help fill out my schedule, I need to fill out my schedule first, so I can get a registrar to help me fill out my schedule?]]" Unfortunately, this time the submitter fails to get the other person to understand the problem.
* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Much like doctors and nurses on Not Always Working, there are a sad number of stories where teachers seem to believe that they know more than their students simply by virtue of ''being'' a teacher, rather than having actually learned anything to do with their subject. Worse, these are usually the types who have also determined that their entire job is to be seen as the smartest person in the classroom, and as such will [[DisproportionateRetribution attempt to punish any student that proves to know better than they do]].
* LargeHam: [[http://notalwaysright.com/masters-degrees-of-the-universe/ "BY THE POWER]] [[ByThePowerOfGrayskull OF GRAYSKULL!"]]
* LaserGuidedKarma:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/flipping-out-over-the-desk/ After this incident]], where a teacher ''flips a student's desk'' because she knew the student wouldn't pass a neatness check, the student's mother shows up in the classroom to respond in kind, then pulls her child from that teacher's class. The teacher is later investigated and fired, and her teaching license revoked.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teachers-acting-rashly/ A mean teacher]] who refuses to let a student with fifth disease rash leave class early to call her parents despite the evidence appearing on her skin. When the student came back to school after getting cured, she learned the mean teacher got fifth disease.
* LikeIsLikeAComma: [[http://notalwaysright.com/we-like-like-this-student/ After her teacher warns her about middle school and especially the popular girls]], the brilliant student plans to invoke this trope with a little ObfuscatingStupidity to be a smart and popular girl. The teacher wholeheartedly agrees.
* LiteralMetaphor: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bloody-good-performance/ An unintentional version here.]] A musical director describes the cast's less-than-energetic rehearsal as "anemic", not realizing that most of the students present had just donated to a blood drive, meaning they literally ''were'' a bit anemic at that point.
* LiteralMinded: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-right-answer-requires-the-write-question/ This university receptionist]] asks a student if he had a pencil ready to take down some information. The student takes it to mean that he literally needs a pencil, instead of the pen he had handy, and fumbles around for one, eventually hanging up after fruitless searching. The receptionist asks from then on if they have something to write with.
* LoopholeAbuse:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/gotta-hand-it-to-this-student/ This university professor]] has strict formatting rules for submitted essays... too bad he forgot to mention they had to be ''typed''.
** A student, giving an improvised two-minute speech regarding war, runs out of material a minute in. [[http://notalwaysright.com/war-is-good-for-one-thing-apparently/ So he asks for a minute of silence for those who died.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cracking-on-the-first-week/ This student]] tries to get around a rule that says undergarments must not be visible. However, he tries this by wearing ''no undergarments at all.''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-f-bomb/ This student]] apparently believes plagiarizing an entire paper for her essay is perfectly acceptable, because nobody actually ''said'' that cheating isn't allowed. Naturally, she doesn't win when she tries to appeal her grade. Most public US universities DO have a schoolwide "Academic Dishonesty" policy, under which plagiarism is punishable by immediate expulsion, no refunds-- so yes, there WAS a rule, and that girl's lucky all the TA did was fail her.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/recourse-use-resource/97025/ This professor]] administers a test where the students are allowed to use "any resource in the room" for reference, since the class is more about knowing how to find the information they need than about memorizing it. Mid-test, one student realizes ''the professor'' is a resource, and asks for help with a particularly difficult question. After a {{beat}}, the professor tells them where to find the answer, and then [[ObviousRulePatch patches the loophole for future tests]].
** One middle-school English teacher let students score points for reading books, but forgot to set a cap on the number of points students could earn. [[https://notalwaysright.com/book-one-experience/98806/ Cue one bookworm student]] reading and turning in the forms for 130 books, earning an A ''without doing a single regular assignment''. [[ObviousRulePatch Next semester, the syllabus was changed to limit points from reading books.]]
* MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-robot-is-really-in-disguise/ As this person admits]].
* {{Malaproper}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/for-his-punishment-he-was-concubined-to-quarters/ This teacher.]] ("[[YouKeepUsingThatWord I don’t think that word means what she thinks it means.]]")
* MamaBear:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-has-a-mother-thing-coming-part-2/ This one does her part]] in the civil rights movement by standing up to an abusive teacher.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/bad-con-duct/ This one]] would make the above proud, too.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/anger-management-versus-desk-management/ And this one]] who managed to walk in at just the right moment.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/flipping-out-over-the-desk/ This mama]] responds in kind to a teacher's ''flipping her child's desk'' in front of the rest of the class. Said teacher is later fired.
** When a teacher questions whether or not a student does their own work, [[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-will-tell-you-in-her-own-words/ this mother]] responds in an [[TranquilFury understated manner that still got the teacher's attention]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bad-detention-retention/ This mama]] won't let her child serve a detention a second time after they've already served it...especially when [[CrimeOfSelfDefense said child didn't really deserve the detention]] ''and'' the instigator had thus far [[KarmaHoudini gotten off scot-free]] thanks to being [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections the son of the vice-principal]].
* MamasBabyPapasMaybe: [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-would-be-a-miraculous-child/ One student]] wonders what happens if a girl has a baby and [[ArtisticLicenseBiology they don't know who the mother is]].
* AManIsAlwaysEager: If a student propositions a TA, [[http://notalwaysright.com/soon-to-be-lonely-and-jobless/ the TA is not supposed to accept]].
* MathematiciansAnswer:
** "Which tooth did you lose?" ''*holds up tooth*'' "[[http://notalwaysright.com/the-whole-tooth-and-nothing-but-the-tooth/ This one!]]"
** "When will you be four?" "[[http://notalwaysright.com/from-the-mouth-of-babes-3/ On my next birthday.]]"
* MayanDoomsday: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-devil-maya-care-attitude/ This kid's parents believed it.]]
* MillionToOneChance: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-commonly-uncommon/124232/ This first-aid teacher]] decided to show the class some photos of injuries they'd never encounter in real life, just to see if they could work out the correct treatment. Out of four photos, ''three'' of them were ones that happened to either the poster's relatives or her friend's relatives.
* MisplacedKindergartenTeacher:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/socially-unacceptable/ This teacher]] has her sociology students, in a university, write down words they use to describe other people. That's the whole lesson. She giggles if any students give "naughty, sweary" words (as she puts it). The narrator of the story takes advantage of this to [[StealthInsult insult her to her face]], with such words as [[ManChild infantile]] and patronizing, and [[IResembleThatRemark she just cheers him/her on for having a big vocabulary.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/addressing-the-big-safety-elephant-in-the-room/ This vice-principal]] at a high school does an intercom speech regarding students jaywalking on school property... in a style that would be better suited for elementary school students.
* MissConception: [[http://notalwaysright.com/like-they-do-on-the-discovery-channel/ A variation.]]
-->'''Female Student''': ''*grabs her breasts*'' Hey, how does milk get in these anyway?
* MistakenForRacist: "I don't like [[Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Tiana]]. I just don't like her color... [[https://notalwaysright.com/royal-colors/ I don't really like green]]."
* MistakenForServant: [[http://notalwaysright.com/continuing-education-meets-continual-aging/ Well,]] mistaken for ''teacher'' in this case. Even ''by'' the teacher.
* {{Mondegreen}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-answer-is-not-satisfactchll/ Brings a spontaneous performance]] of "[[Film/SongOfTheSouth Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah]]" to a halt.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sperm-of-the-moment-answer/ The semen floor!]]
* MoonLogicPuzzle: [[http://notalwaysright.com/acting-in-seine/ Employed by this teacher]] as a hint, after the question itself goes unanswered. It works[[note]]"I'm a gorilla" --> "Me [[Film/KingKong Kong]]" --> Mekong[[/note]].
* MRSDegree:
** The basic assumption behind [[http://notalwaysright.com/married-to-a-bad-idea/ this story]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/trying-to-reverse-engineer-bigotry/ This substitute]] also seems to assume this about a female student in an engineering class. When the student is blocked from entering the class for the second day in a row, [[IAmSpartacus the entire class leaves in disgust]] until the regular teacher returns.
* MuggingTheMonster:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-professor-dean-finitely-wont-be-back/ This professor]] tries to force a military veteran to move forward from the back of the classroom, and won't brook any argument. After the veteran leaves in disgust, one of the students (also disgusted with the professor's behavior) mentions that the veteran's uncle is the dean. The professor "resigned for personal reasons" a week later.
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/assuming-makes-an-essay-out-of-you-and-me/ this story]], a student fails to recognize his professor and insults him, earning him an extra homework assignment. To the student's credit, he actually does a half-decent job on the assignment. Lesson learned, we hope.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-beat-him-to-the-punch/ This bully]] is just ''asking'' for a fight. ([[LiteralMetaphor No, literally, he is.]]) A grade one girl [[IWasBeatenByAGirl gives it to him]].
** Tried and failed by a student who expected a passing grade in a required-for-graduation course despite not attending a single class or completing a single assignment. [[https://notalwaysright.com/grade-and-student/105290/ "You will give me a passing grade, or my lawyer will be contacting the school."]]
* MundaneSolution: Sometimes, ''this'' is the answer the teacher is looking for.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-jump-from-logic/ Sometimes, the solution really is that simple]]. Even better, the student actually gave that answer as a joke.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/avoiding-deaths-door/ "You are in a burning building. You have a paper clip, a pencil, and a sweat-sock. How do you get out?"]] The student's solution? [[spoiler:Leave by the door. The question doesn't say anything about being ''trapped'' in the building.]] Unlike the previous example, it's evident that the teacher didn't intend this answer, but let it stand anyway.
** Another one meant as a joke: [[http://notalwaysright.com/forward-thinking/ this student]] realizes that you can get a pair of skis through any door regardless of how long they are.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/apparently-the-glove-doesnt-fit/ This one]] was certainly expected.
* MyBelovedSmother: [[http://notalwaysright.com/mom-knows-how-to-make-a-meal-out-of-it/ This mother]] is a little too desperate to make sure that her college-student son's eating enough.
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: [[http://notalwaysright.com/bullied-into-self-realization/ Two friends come to the realization they were bullies.]]
* NaiveNewcomer: [[https://notalwaysright.com/americans-friendlier-others/90650/ This Japanese student]] doesn't realize those "friendly" American ads for people who want a late night chat are in fact phone sex lines.
* NamesTheSame: [[invoked]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/so-much-for-clearing-her-name/ This poor girl]] keeps getting called to the vice-principal's office because someone else with the ''exact same name'' is causing trouble. Thankfully, the people at the office generally realize their mistake when the first girl shows up.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-sally-met-sally/ This teacher]] took most of the semester to realize there were two girls named Sally in the class. By that time, she'd already marked the wrong Sally truant for an entire week.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/giving-the-professor-a-bad-name/ This professor's students]] tell him of a death row inmate in another state who happens to share his name. The professor promptly wonders if he happens to be the same classmate from his high school days who ''also'' shared his name.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-class-is-full-of-numbers/ This math class]] (which is over twice as large as it usually is) has a ''lot'' of students that share names, which the professor discovers during roll call.
* NeverMyFault: [[https://notalwaysright.com/calculus-versus-dumbledores-army/ This substitute teacher]] refuses to admit he messed up a high school class's calculus exam by entering the questions incorrectly into the computer with incorrect answers which failed all of the students when the answers the class wrote down were correct and they actually passed the exam. Instead, he wrote to the local newspaper and school board and accused the students of cheating the exam by blackmailing the school and should be expelled as [[InsaneTrollLogic students who are part of a study group leads to gang activity]].
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: [[http://notalwaysright.com/wont-be-snowed-under-with-work/ This teacher]] gets annoyed at a student for staring at falling snow out the window instead of working, pointing out that nobody else in the class is doing so - turns out this is only because they didn't ''notice'' the snow, until the teacher very helpfully pointed it out to them.
* NoIndoorVoice: [[http://notalwaysright.com/there-is-no-substitute-for-good-volume-control/ Behold 'The Screamer'.]] Who is an '''adult''', not a child.
* NoLongerWithUs: [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-teaching-style-is-just-heavenly/ Assumed by this student.]]
* NoodleIncident: [[https://notalwaysright.com/caving-in-to-the-question/ One student]] has negative thoughts about Montana because his uncle got lost out there and was eventually found naked in a cave. No further details are given.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: [[http://notalwaysright.com/best-excuse-period/ This PE teacher]] forgot this trope doesn't exist in real life.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-language-skills-will-periodically-surprise-you/38564/ Some things transcend language barriers]].
** A frequent story: Female student needs to use the restroom, teacher says no, female student blurts out ''why'' she needs to use the restroom, horrified/humiliated teacher lets her go.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/meno-pause-recess/ This terrible teacher]] tried to have a student ''punished'' for explaining why she suddenly needed the restroom. The kicker? ''[[FailedASpotCheck It's at a girls' school.]]'' The narrator concludes by wondering what that teacher does about her own monthly.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/missed-that-period/ Another teacher]] tried to publicly shame a female student for being late to class by demanding she announce her "excuse" in front of the whole class. He wasn't expecting a list of what one needs to do to when one's period starts in the middle of the night without warning.
---> He’s never hassled another student like that again — especially the girls.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/awkward-for-a-period/ This student,]] on the other hand, plays it perfectly straight... [[DudeLooksLikeALady for good reason]].
* NotDistractedByTheSexy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-not-that-kind-of-flash-pass/ A female student]] was locked out of her dorm, but doesn't have the money to pay a security officer to open it for her. She tries an...[[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey alternate]] method of payment.
-->'''Security Officer:''' Well, those are very nice. Now, that’ll be £5 please.
* NotListeningToMeAreYou: [[http://notalwaysright.com/read-and-right/ This student]] drove a teacher crazy by repeatedly subverting the trope.
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: [[http://notalwaysright.com/deals-with-a-different-kind-of-seed/ This]] agricultural professor gets accosted by a woman who thinks his doctorate means he knows how to deliver babies.
* OffscreenTeleportation: [[http://notalwaysright.com/basic-chemistry-meets-advanced-physics/ Or something similar]], and you have to admit his reason for learning how to do it makes sense.
* OffTheRails: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-politics-of-politics/ One student]] manages to derail a political game by getting people to contribute their money to them without realizing, [[MagnificentBastard and eventually dissolves the partnership and keeps all the money for themselves]].
* OhNoNotAgain: [[http://notalwaysright.com/modern-schooling-can-draw-blood/ Lampshaded here.]]
* {{Omniglot}}: Downplayed, because the person in question "only" speaks three languages, but..."[[http://notalwaysright.com/a-concentration-of-translation/ Wait, did you just tell him not to speak Spanish in an English class, in Korean?]]"
* OverlyPrepreparedGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/punch-drunk/ This gag here.]]
* PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-democratic-republic-of-having-your-mind-blown/ this student.]]
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: Someone put up a picture of Ben Franklin on a wall next to other famous scientists with a caption that included the word "scientifical". This person's teacher later added a post-it saying that [[AccidentallyCorrectWriting it's actually a real word]].
* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad: [[http://notalwaysright.com/losing-the-race/ You can't say South African! It's racist! You have to say African-American!]]
* PopculturalOsmosisFailure:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/goodbye-norma-jwoww/ This guy]] doesn't know who Creator/MarilynMonroe was.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lack-of-knowledge-is-very-very-frightening/ Many of these high school students]] don't know [[Music/{{Queen}} Bohemian Rhapsody]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-give-love-of-music-a-bad-name/ This New Jersey student]] has to ask who Music/BonJovi is. This after learning the song "Livin' On a Prayer".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/living-in-1984/ This English teacher]] was brought in to teach literature so the students would understand references that will be used in college. Unfortunately, the rest of the staff, including the superintendent, suffer from this so badly that they want to spend four years focusing on "[[PublicMediumIgnorance the four classics]]", which doesn't include ''Literature/AnimalFarm'', ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' or ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour''. The district's resident OnlySaneMan basically tells the English teacher to run for her sanity.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-are-mostly-dead-to-me/ This student]] wrote a review of ''Film/ThePrincessBride'' for an English assignment, and was apparently forced to redo it with a different movie because the teacher had never heard of it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/straight-up-now-tell-me-if-im-beyond-the-edge-of-glory/ This professor]] thinks Lady Gaga is named "The Gaga Lady." Even better, he only referenced her since he didn't think any of his students were old enough to remember Paula Abdul.
* PreemptiveShutUp: [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-joke/ "Don't you dare say it!"]]
* PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith: [[http://notalwaysright.com/theres-always-time-for-adverbs/ A textbook case]], followed by a textbook retort.
* PuppyLove: On the first day of kindergarten: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/a-very-long-engagement/ I met (Boy). I'm going to marry him someday!]]" "Uh-huh." [[spoiler: [[ChildhoodFriendRomance Twenty years later, they do]].]]
* PyroManiac: [[http://notalwaysright.com/firing-up-a-passion-for-science/ This science teacher]], who [[EducationThroughPyrotechnics makes the best of it]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tropes R-Z]]
* RapidFireInterrupting: In [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-get-a-word-in-nursewise/ this story]], a nurse repeatedly cuts off a student, chastising her for asking her brother to pick her up from class, [[OneSideOfTheStory assuming that the brother is still in grade school]]. Once the student is finally able to explain that the brother is not only college-age, but also on spring break, [[{{Hypocrite}} the nurse chastises the student for not saying so sooner]].
* ARareSentence: [[http://notalwaysright.com/survival-of-the-fittest/ "There are some things I never thought I'd have to state at the front of a classroom."]] Such as "I've never felt 'Bear Grylls.'"
* RashomonStyle: [[http://notalwaysright.com/incorrectly-referencing/ This maths teacher]] remembers an incident where a student went up to him for help with questions on an exam. The student, however, remembers it differently; she was asking why those questions were ''marked wrong'' when they were actually correct. Given the teacher's replies (and that the teacher was using the incident to justify writing that the student "struggles at math" on a reference to university), it's strongly implied that the student is in the right.
* ReadingsAreOffTheScale: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-de-grading-test/ This student]] consistently tests at the limits of the reading tests given (at both second and third grade, she demonstrates sixth-grade reading capability). Unfortunately, the teacher doesn't realize this is why the student in question is "not improving"--the test doesn't actually cover the grade levels the student is capable of reading at, with sixth-grade level being its limits. (A different test proves the student has eighth-grade level reading skill while in third grade.)
* ReallyGetsAround: Zeus has this reputation in [[http://notalwaysright.com/ungodly-godly-behavior/ one classroom]], to the point that the teacher calls him the god of (among other things) unfaithful husbands.
* ReflexiveResponse:
** A student that often gets admonished for chewing gum in class spits out his gum when the teacher shouts his name... [[http://notalwaysright.com/pavlovs-yell/ just before the teacher actually gives him a compliment]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hows-that-for-just-desserts/ How to counter a series of "no"s]].
* RidiculousProcrastinator: [[http://notalwaysright.com/due-tonight-vs-do-tonight/ "When is the paper due?" "Midnight."]]
* RightBehindMe: [[http://notalwaysright.com/pardon-his-french/ A singular bigot of a university student]] seems determined to start every class with a rant about a hated-by-him group ''du jour''. In this case, he goes after [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys the French]]. Only ''this'' time, the professor actually shows up to hear at least a good chunk of the snarling--and he's French. [[LaserGuidedKarma The bigot is assigned to write 3,000 words about U.S./France relations within two days.]]
* RulesLawyer:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/painting-colorful-language/ One student]] decides to test just how far a math teacher's "As long as you're quiet, you can do whatever you want after the test" rule goes by ''painting'' after an exam. Turns out the teacher meant ''exactly'' what she said; when another student complains about the submitter painting (cursing in the process), the teacher points out the submitter hasn't broken any rules, but the complaining student has--''twice'', by both failing to be quiet, and cursing in the classroom.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-camo-you-cant-see-some-you-dont-want-to-see/ Students were given treats for wearing camo, or red-white-and-blue]]. One student tried to get a treat by wearing camo underpants. The teacher wasn't impressed.
* RunningGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-is-imperative-this-student-gets-a-cookie/ This student]] apparently wants a cookie.
* SadistTeacher:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-has-a-mother-thing-coming-part-2/ Abusive, too]]...until [[MamaBear the student's mother shows up]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/temperamental-about-the-parental/ This one]], among other infractions, forces students who didn't study with their parents for spelling tests to sit in at recess with their heads down, even if they got an 'A' on the exam. The parents of the submitter complain about this behavior--pointing out that it teaches kids to lie--and eventually the teacher is dismissed after a different incident.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/race-fail/ This teacher]] consistently failed a student because she believed that "some students should not be given special privileges", despite the student's work being correct. The student (and family) was white/Caucasian, while the community was primarily Hispanic, so the teacher's statement was very thinly-veiled racism. The mother got her children assigned to a different classroom.
* SarcasmBlind: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unequal-views-of-equality/ This girl]] doesn't get it when someone else tries to call her out on her hypocrisy.
* ScrabbleBabble: [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-a-pile-of-blarbleskutch/ Blarbleskutch]], apparently the sound made by a fish when you take it out of water.
* ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-got-a-million-problems-but-my-teach-aint-one/ "I'd still give it to the police."]]
* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: [[http://notalwaysright.com/on-the-chopping-block-over-chopsticks/ This teacher]] admonishes a student for having her lunch split between two bags and for using chopsticks to eat it, rather than a fork. She ends up taking that student to the principal over it... only to learn there are no rules about how many bags a student can have their lunch in or what utensils they can eat it with. The teacher ended up fired not long after this incident.
* SecretTestOfCharacter: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-test-has-your-name-on-it/ Here.]]
** Also [[http://notalwaysright.com/profess-to-be-the-professor/ here...]] [[spoiler: Until it's [[SubvertedTrope subverted]]]].
* ShelteredAristocrat: In a school situated in an affluent county, [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-generation-is-out-of-touch/ these students]] are absolutely shocked that their teacher didn't like iPads, and didn't have a laptop until college. They wonder what the teacher did to survive, and she of course replies that she played ''outside''.
* ShipperOnDeck: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-stupid-cupid/ So, basically, a six-year-old scored me a boyfriend.]]" Complete with the "sitting in a tree" chant.
* SkewedPriorities:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-fired-and-the-fabulous/ This teacher]], panicked by an unannounced fire drill, runs outside with her cosmetics... but not her class register or the students themselves, so she couldn't check if all of the students had made it out.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sadly-know-type-teacher/110182/ This teacher]] demands a mother buy a computer for her son and doesn't care the mother is poor and can't afford to buy one.
** Rather than shell out the funds to hire new teachers (and forcing local parents to cover for the staff they don't have), [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-should-really-get-your-goat/119148/ this school]] would rather buy goats to serve as class pets.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/seriously-injuring-grade/97019/ This student]] is running late to his final exam and sees someone lying injured in the road after getting hit by a car. He chooses not to help her, and instead runs into the classroom to make it to his exam on time.
* SmugSnake: Unaware that the submitter is using their phone to complete an assignment in the form of an animation unlike the other students, [[https://notalwaysright.com/their-criticism-of-you-is-very-animated/131342/ a classroom assistant on a power trip]] very loudly and vocally busts them for supposedly listening to music and "drawing things" instead of doing the assignment and smirks at the submitter as they come up to the teacher's desk. When the teacher explains that she allowed the submitter to complete the assignment this way (and expresses interest in how the app they are using works), the assistant is so humiliated that they begin trying to get themselves transferred to a different class and as far away from the teacher and submitter as possible.
* SnipeHunt: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-day-has-gone-down-the-tubes/ During a wood-working class]], the teacher asks a student to fetch a fallopian tube.
* SpaceWhaleAesop: [[http://notalwaysright.com/math-can-be-a-slippery-slope/ Learn math, or someday a psychotic math teacher will kill you.]]
* StayInTheKitchen:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/married-to-a-bad-idea/ "The only reason any woman goes to university is to get a husband with an education; they earn more! You don’t need a good average, no woman does!"]] This was said by a ''woman''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/busting-his-judo-chops/ "I bet you’re still a white-belt because you’re just a girl. Girls can’t fight."]] [[MuggingTheMonster And then he got his ass kicked]].
** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/misogyny-is-a-lie-ability/ this story]], a criminal law class holds an exercise where a student will state two facts and one lie about themselves, to see how well the other students can spot a lie (like a classroom version of ''Series/ToTellTheTruth''). One of said students inevitably counters what is actually true because the student claiming it is a girl.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/quarters-and-fractions-meets-quarterback-infractions/ This]] DumbJock assumes his female math teacher doesn't know anything about football. She surprises him.
** A rather troubling example [[http://notalwaysright.com/trying-to-reverse-engineer-bigotry/ here]], where an old substitute teacher actively refuses to let the only girl in a class even enter the classroom, because he thinks it's a boys-only class. [[IAmSpartacus The entire rest of the class decides to sit out the class with that girl]] for the entire two weeks that the substitute is there, and when the normal teacher returns said substitute was forced to retire early by the superintendent and school board.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/man-agement/ This student]] in a Human Resources Management class eventually realizes he's digging himself in a hole with his claim that women can't do most jobs, and then asks his ''female'' professor to bail him out.
---> Nope. What you’ve been saying for the last five minutes is a massive HR violation and would get you fired in the real world.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-sure-one-offended-first/108027/ This substitute teacher]] is not only sexist by telling the girls in the class that they shouldn't bother studying for college and should get married instead, accuses their female history teacher as stupid and wrong because she does her lessons using computers (which he thinks is only used for entertainment) but is also racist as well when he claims one Asian student will marry a girl sitting next to him, who he accuses of being slut, if she gets pregnant as Asians are a honorable race. This last part bites him since the "couple" he pointed out are in fact fraternal twins, who will not only report him for being sexist and racist but also giving advice for colleges which is illegal for teachers to do and may get him fired and teaching license barred.
* StealthHiBye: [[http://notalwaysright.com/basic-chemistry-meets-advanced-physics/ This teacher]] does it when he hears his student scream.
* StealthInsult: [[http://notalwaysright.com/racism-isnt-smart/ This student]] apologizes to an Indian classmate for stereotyping against Indian people. They say that they shouldn't have assumed that all Indians were so smart. The classmate [[DelayedReaction eventually]] gets what the student was getting at.
* SteppingOutForAQuickCupOfCoffee: [[http://notalwaysright.com/silent-protest/ This teacher]] hopes that no protesting students get up to mischief while he's on his break. He especially hopes that they don't push that [[BigRedButton BIG BUTTON]] over there. [[CouldSayItBut That would be terrible]].
* StickySituation: [[http://notalwaysright.com/truly-inseparable-friends/ Here]].
* StreisandEffect: [[invoked]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-just-discussing-school-affairs/87893/ This Christian principal]] wanted to stop rumors spreading that a married teacher was having an affair with a student's mother....by announcing it to the entire school during the auditorium assembly. The ironic part was that everyone, including the student herself didn't know about the affair until the principal mentioned it. As a result, the poor girl was forced to leave school, humiliated with the revelation and the principal was '''hated''' by the whole school for his actions.
* TheStoner: [[http://notalwaysright.com/teaching-them-an-important-lesson-on-drugs/ This substitute teacher.]]
* StuffBlowingUp: [[http://notalwaysright.com/po-tential-k-atastrophe-averted/ Don't play with alkali metals.]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/oh-nly-if-you-wis-h2-deto-na-te/ No, really, don't.]]
* SustainedMisunderstanding: [[http://notalwaysright.com/mentally-checked-out/ In a library]], one student asks another for her copy of a book, thinking it's actually a library copy. When the second student replies that the book is her own personal copy, the first student seems to think (from that point) that the library ''gave'' her that book, or at least that the second student ''thinks'' that. The misunderstanding only gets worse from there.
* TakeThat: [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-are-but-learners-among-masters/ This one]], against the petty arguments that occur a lot in the ''Franchise/StarWars'' fandom. Also proof that a true fan can take on the petty fans any day.
* TalkAboutThatThing: [[http://notalwaysright.com/gets-the-principle-of-bullying/ This teacher]] uses the (false) excuse of a student not doing work to take said student to the principal's office...to discuss the bullying he's been subject to, without letting the bullies know he's telling on them.
* TapOnTheHead:
** The KO Punch variant: [[https://notalwaysright.com/when-toxic-personalities-become-intoxicated/ Here]]:
--> Mid-sentence, she tries to shove my regular again, but this time the regular catches the college girl’s arm and delivers a powerful right cross to her face, knocking her out cold. The regular watches the drunk college girl drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then sits back down on her barstool and turns back to the bar.
* TemptingFate:
** After [[http://notalwaysright.com/baptism-of-fire-alarms/ this student]] complains to mom about the ridiculous number of fire alarms in the dorm (as no one seems to know how to use an oven), she replies, "Maybe it will be better this time." Cue three fire trucks, sirens wailing, headed toward the dorm.
** It's a theater tradition to say "break a leg" instead of "good luck" because of this trope, but [[http://notalwaysright.com/pulling-your-leg/ "break a leg" can backfire too]].
* ThatCameOutWrong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/keep-a-close-crotch-on-this-student/ Here]], in response to a hypothetical question about the use of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groin_%28hydrology%29 strips of land]] to prevent erosion, one student replies "[[GroinAttack I'd destroy his groin]]!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lost-innuendo-translation/ This foreign student]] wanted to ask his teacher if he he could stay overnight for a study session. Unfortunately, what he said was "Can I… uhh... sleep... with you?", but the situation was defused quickly.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-the-drill/ "I've been drilling him, and he’s been drilling me."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/that-exam-was-easy-pee-sy/ "I'm actually still relieving myself right now!"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-f-word-is-constitutional/ The F-word.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/stark-naked-notes/ "I just got 'completely naked'"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/being-a-good-spurt/ This doctor on sperm samples]] -- "Oh, these things come in spurts."
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/theyre-great-at-singing-the-crotchets/ A teacher when instructing a choir]] -- "Okay, lower lady parts!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-facts-can-just-bowel-you-over/ This girl about the small intestine]] -- "But there is no way a seven-meter-long thing fits in me!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-score-was-already-high-enough/ “I was on drugs…”]]
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** Combined with ObstructiveBureaucrat. [[http://notalwaysright.com/hard-of-hearing-meets-hard-of-thinking/ This college student is]] ''deaf,'' and specifically requested an e-mail communication regarding an appointment with the advising office. The receptionist ''insists'' on communicating by ''phone call,'' ignoring his preferences, and the fact that the submitter ''cannot'' use the phone to call repeatedly. When the submitter goes to the office, in person, the first thing the receptionist does is berate the submitter for ''ignoring'' the calls and that the semester is ending in a week, after the submitter told the receptionist no less than three times ''that he is deaf and can't answer the phone!'' After setting up the appointment, the receptionists asks "would you like the reminder by phone or email?"
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/sister-twister/ This teacher]] doesn't seem to understand that two half-sisters with different mothers and who live at different homes are still consider sisters even if they don't live together. The whole class goes {{Facepalm}}, including the teacher's daughter who also did a {{Headdesk}}, couldn't believe how dumb the teacher was.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-alarming-way-to-get-fired/ This teacher]] refuses to allow her students to leave the classroom when the fire alarm goes off. Not when it goes off, not when the fire department gets there, or even when ''the school director outright states that there is a fire.'' When the class ''does'' leave, she continues to yell at her class, threatening to expel them for "purposely missing an exam," ''even though the director is the one leading them out!'' [[LaserGuidedKarma This whole incident causes the teacher to be fired and sued by the school.]]
** A justified example here: A little girl on her first day of class [[https://notalwaysright.com/jojo-name-o/102978/ refuses to answer to anything but her nickname]]... because ''nobody ever taught her about her real name''.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-alarming-lack-of-consideration/126279/ The submitter's roommate's girlfriend turns off the submitter's alarm clock]] because it's going off too loud and too long for her... when she's not supposed to be staying in their unit in the first place, and the submitter needs the extra loud, extra long alarm because he has trouble waking up in time for his classes, ''which he's been missing because she's turning off his alarm clock without his knowledge''.
* ToiletHumor:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/americas-favorite-pastime/ Group poop.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bit-young-to-be-so-off-color/ This exchange.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lets-cut-the-clap/ An unintentional example]], thanks to JapaneseRanguage.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sticking-with-answer-number-one/ ... and THEN pee in it!]]
* TranquilFury:
** One story spells out the trope fairly well, with one student's [[MamaBear mother]]: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/mother-will-tell-you-in-her-own-words/ Now, my mum is terrifying on the warpath. She doesn’t hit, scream, throw things, or anything else like that: she is just nebulously yet definitely terrifying....]]"
* {{Troll}}:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/troll-hunting/ This one escaped the confines of the Internet.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/blind-eye-to-the-blindside/ This one repeatedly insults another student in an effort to get the second student in trouble.]] When the second student finally snaps, the first student tattles. But despite the teacher being ''right there'' and looking in their direction, [[IllPretendIDidntHearThat the teacher saw nothing]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/barking-up-the-wrong-culinary-tree/ This guy giving a presentation on "Chinese Food".]]
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: [[invoked]] No matter what [[http://notalwaysright.com/c-right-through-modern-art/ this art student]] does, whether it involves painstaking effort or just throwing together random junk, it gets a 'C' grade from the professor (with the "random junk" effort apparently falling into this trope). The student eventually changes majors.
* TwinTelepathy: [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-of-one-mind-on-the-matter/ These students]], apparently. Their teacher requests that they be moved into separate classes so they can't cheat off each other.
* TyopOnTheCover: [[http://notalwaysright.com/inappropriate-gaymes/ An unfortunate misspelling indeed]].
* UngratefulBastard: [[http://notalwaysright.com/cheated-at-his-own-game/ This 2nd-grade student]] asks the submitter for an answer on a test, and upon receiving it, then asks for the submitter's phone number so he can call his mother and tell her he cheated.
* UnsettlingGenderReveal: [[http://notalwaysright.com/new-meaning-to-gender-displacement/ This girl]] does it to another group of girls who were infatuated with her. [[http://notalwaysright.com/new-meaning-to-gender-displacement-part-2/ Has a sequel]] on Not Always Friendly; even funnier, the second target was with her boyfriend, who started laughing hysterically in the aftermath.
* TheUnsmile: [[http://notalwaysright.com/give-them-a-grinch-and-theyll-take-a-smile/ This person's "smile" manages to convince their band director that they're feeling sick.]]
* ViewersAreMorons:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/unintended-condescendences/ This teacher]] unfortunately goes beyond the assumption that students are ''ignorant'', and seems to operate under the assumption that students are ''stupid''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/word-to-the-wise/ This teacher]] seems to operate under the same logic, having assumed that none of the students (Germans who are learning English) have ever heard an English word before entering his classroom, and as such throwing a fit when a student turns out to know most of the words in a poem without having to have looked them up as they were reading it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-negative-teaching-experience/ This teacher]] tries telling her students negative numbers don't exist, because she doesn't think they could understand that. Naturally, when it turns out they do, rather than praising them for knowing more than she expected, [[DisproportionateRetribution she sends the first student to speak up about it to the principal for "insubordination"]] (though the student quickly returned). After that incident, the teacher went to the more plausible "[[AnotherStoryForAnotherTime we're not covering that yet]]".
* VictoriasSecretCompartment: Where [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-em-bra-ssing/ this substitute teacher]] keeps her phone.
* WakingNonSequitur: [[http://notalwaysright.com/hed-sleep-through-vorgon-poetry/ In this story]], a teacher tries to catch out a student who is prone to sleeping (through no fault of their own), by asking about the book she slammed onto the student's desk. The student mentioned the first thing that came to mind ("42!"), which had nothing to do with the book being discussed. However, the answer did have everything to do with [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy the book that was slammed down onto the desk]]...
* WalkingDisasterArea: [[http://notalwaysright.com/perfect-accidental-timing/ This accident-prone student]]. The science teacher even has an XDaysSince sign in the lab, just for that student.
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: [[http://notalwaysright.com/all-hail-the-oxford-comma/ An excellent example]] of why proper use of commas is essential.
* WaxingLyrical: [[https://notalwaysright.com/i-hear-the-voices-when-im-dreaming/ Carry on]] [[Music/{{Kansas}} my wayward son.]]
* WhatsAHenway: [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-a-tutorial-tutorial/ "What the heck's a 'torial']] and why do we need two of them?!"
* WhosOnFirst: [[http://notalwaysright.com/appropriate-applications-of-apathy/ "That was actually correct? Because I really don't care."]]
* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: [[http://notalwaysright.com/b-is-for-blackmail/ This teacher]] stopped with bribing jokes after a certain incident.
* WithFriendsLikeThese WhoNeedsEnemies: [[https://notalwaysright.com/tie-self-esteem/91729/ This high school senior]] is horrified to find that their good friend has entered an ugly tie contest with a tie covered in pictures of them - and wins.
* WorstAid:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/broken-armed-with-a-note/ Oh boy.]] A student breaks his arm, and the first thing three people do is ''physically test it to see how badly it's actually injured.'' Thankfully ''not'' repeated by the nurse, but seriously--a suspected broken arm ''should not'' be tested in that manner; doing so can make the injury far worse.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-nose-what-she-is-doing/ This school nurse]]'s procedure for treating one student is very poor indeed.
** As is [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-pain-no-gain/ this one's.]] Even worse, the nurse in question ''isn't'' too incompetent to see that the finger is very obviously broken, noticing every sign of such, but she still decides to completely ignore them because [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction the submitter wasn't showing enough pain]].
* WouldHurtAChild: [[https://notalwaysright.com/jiu-jitsu-believe/107605/ This gym teacher]] tries to attack a student because he doesn't play soccer (a sport the teacher loves and fails anyone who doesn't play it) and thinks is lazy. Too bad the student was a jiu jitsu practitioner who kicks the teacher's ass for trying to grab him. The incident gets the teacher removed from the position of the school's Soccer Coach.
* WoundedGazelleGambit: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touching-conclusion/ Attempted here]]. It eventually failed because witnesses came forward, and the guy who claimed he was touched [[HoistByHisOwnPetard got barred from a school trip--the same one he was trying to get the other guy barred from]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/witness-versus-witless/ This]] [[SarcasmMode charming]] girl plays this card after repeatedly abusing and threatening a handicapped girl and getting attacked by the aforementioned girl's friend. Thankfully, it didn't work.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-con-text/108889/ This horrible girl]] attempted to get the submitter expelled, perhaps even arrested, for cyberbullying. Thankfully, Problem Girl caused her plot to implode by sending more bullying texts to herself while the submitter had no access to a phone and rushing into the office of the teacher about to punish the submitter. Unfortunately, while the head apologised and the teacher in question was suspended for [[InspectorJavert mishandling the situation]][[note]]he approached the submitter out of the blue, forced her to hand her phone over, refused to explain what she was being accused of, and, from the absence of the messages and her bewilderment, jumped to the conclusion that she'd deleted the messages and was refusing to cooperate[[/note]], [[KarmaHoudini Problem Girl was never punished]].
* [[WritersCannotDoMath Students (And Sometimes Teachers) Cannot Do Math]]:
** First, a student example: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-sea-the-class-as-half-fool/ "I wish it was multiple choice. At least if there were four choices, I’d have a 50-50 chance of getting it right!"]]
** And now, a teacher example: [[http://notalwaysright.com/calling-her-a-math-teacher-would-be-charitable/ …and only 45% of your parents in this class donated! That’s 65% that didn’t donate!]] Judging from the dead silence that followed, even the ''students'' recognized this teacher's failure to CarryTheOne (well, in reverse, but you get the idea). Good thing she doesn't teach math.
* YouAreNotAlone: The basis of [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-combat-the-bullying-a-gender/ this story]]. A transwoman ducks into the girl's locker room to evade some bullies. The gym teacher fends the bullies off, and says that she considers the student one of them, a sentiment shared by the girls in the locker room. Furthermore, she allows her to hide in the room as a refuge should more troubles occur.
* YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe:
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-mother-of-all-answers/ This IEP teacher]] steadfastly believes that the submitter is being "difficult" because she won't put on her PE shoes, in spite of the submitter repeatedly stating and showing that the shoes in question are too small for her. The IEP teacher then states that she is going to call the submitter's mother to take the submitter shoe shopping, and then come back to finish the class, even though there's only twenty minutes to do so, even after the idea is spelled out to her. The teacher then calls the submitter's mother with the same idea.
-->'''Submitter:''' Let me get this straight… you’re going to call my mom while she’s at work, pull me out of school during class, and take me to get new shoes, and then COME BACK to FINISH the class? All in 20 minutes?\\
'''IEP Teacher:''' Yes, exactly!\\
'''Submitter:''' [[PrecisionFStrike That’s f*** bull***.]]\\
''(Later)''\\
'''Mom:''' Wait... so you want me to take time off work in the middle of the day, pick up my kid, take her to a shoe store so she can get some new PE shoes, and then somehow bring her back to school and sign her in in time to finish the class that, at now, only has 15 minutes left?\\
'''IEP Teacher:''' [[TheyJustDontGetIt Yes, that’s all I asked!]]\\
'''Mom:''' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike That’s f*** bull***.]] ''(Hangs up)''
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/get-passive-aggressive-and-mom-will-get-active-aggressive/ These teachers]] believe that the submitter is being passive aggressive for forgetting to bring a pencil to his reading class (where he isn't allowed to use the pencil). The utter stupidity of the teachers causes the mother to burst into tears.
-->'''Mom:''' “I’m not crying because my son ‘is passive aggressive and needs counseling,’ I’m crying because he has to spend ALL DAY SURROUNDED BY YOU [[PrecisionFStrike F*** A***.”]]
* YouKeepUsingThatWord:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-egg-in-v-egg-ie/ This student]], [[HypocriticalHumor despite claiming to be a nutrition major]], doesn't seem to know what the word "vegan" entails. As the confusion seems to be combined with a misconception as to what is and is not an animal product, it also falls under ArtisticLicenseBiology.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/youre-on-the-right-track-baby/ A young student]] objects to another person's use of "gay" (as a derogatory term along the lines of "stupid" or "annoying") along these lines. [[http://notalwaysright.com/straight-talking-on-not-so-straight-walking/ Also here]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-numbers-or-words/117671/ This substitute teacher]] fails some students for not answering questions in a test marked with the word "optional" when the actual word he meant was "mandatory".
* YouMakeMeSic:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/graffiti-has-nothing-on-grammar/ We need people like these on Internet forums.]]
** Inverted [[http://notalwaysright.com/country-grammar/ here]], where a teacher is "corrected" on grammar--well, it ''is'' the common usage in the Southern U.S., but the teacher's use of "you" instead of "y'all" (for addressing multiple people) is ''not'' incorrect.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/teachers-parties/ This comic]] pokes fun at the concept.
[[/folder]]
