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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
** After your snail saves your life from being eaten by the new pet and chases it out of the house, don't thank him, but berate him for driving the it away.
to:
** After your snail saves your life from being eaten by the new pet and chases it out of the house, [[UngratefulBastard don't thank him, but berate him for driving the it away.]]
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Changed line(s) 220 (click to see context) from:
** You can tell someone's an asshole because they have stubble.
to:
** You can tell someone's an asshole because they have stubble.stubble.
* "Sandy, Help Us!": Don't help anyone, at any time, even if they have valid reasons to need help and they haven't done anything wrong to you.
* "[=BassWard=]": It's okay to spend an entire vacation trying to make someone miserable, because neither of you will get what you want anyways.
* "Blood is Thicker Than Grease":
** If nobody wants something for a few minutes, it loses all value it had or will ever have.
** If your family is successful but ''you'' aren't, try to sabotage their lives.
* "Don't Make Me Laugh": Even if you can't go to work and repeatedly offend people, don't complain and just accept it.
* "Momageddon": Freeloading off your parents is something everyone should do.
* "Squidiot Box": If you hear someone screaming from inside a confined location, don't help them. Instead, marvel at what an exciting adventure they must be having.
* "We ♥ Hoops": Harass an old man until he takes you on an adventure.
* "Sandy, Help Us!": Don't help anyone, at any time, even if they have valid reasons to need help and they haven't done anything wrong to you.
* "[=BassWard=]": It's okay to spend an entire vacation trying to make someone miserable, because neither of you will get what you want anyways.
* "Blood is Thicker Than Grease":
** If nobody wants something for a few minutes, it loses all value it had or will ever have.
** If your family is successful but ''you'' aren't, try to sabotage their lives.
* "Don't Make Me Laugh": Even if you can't go to work and repeatedly offend people, don't complain and just accept it.
* "Momageddon": Freeloading off your parents is something everyone should do.
* "Squidiot Box": If you hear someone screaming from inside a confined location, don't help them. Instead, marvel at what an exciting adventure they must be having.
* "We ♥ Hoops": Harass an old man until he takes you on an adventure.
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Added DiffLines:
** The secret to creating a masterpiece is to [[TrueArtIsAngsty drive yourself into a rage-induced frenzy of creation.]]
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Added DiffLines:
** Don’t help people, even if they’re your friend and are living on the streets, they’ll just take advantage of you.
** Homeless people are just lazy moochers too stubborn to get jobs, and could easily get hired if they wanted to.
** Homeless people are just lazy moochers too stubborn to get jobs, and could easily get hired if they wanted to.
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Changed line(s) 214 (click to see context) from:
* "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!":
to:
* "It's a SpongeBob [=SpongeBob=] Christmas!":
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Changed line(s) 213 (click to see context) from:
* “Shuffleboarding”: If you waste food, don’t tie your shoelaces, chew your gum too loudly, or become too old, you will get thrown in jail.
to:
* “Shuffleboarding”: If you waste food, don’t tie your shoelaces, chew your gum too loudly, or become too old, you will get thrown in jail.jail.
* "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!":
** Fruitcake makes you evil.
** Even if you spend the whole year being a jerk, you'll still get presents if everyone else in your town is even worse.
** You can tell someone's an asshole because they have stubble.
* "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!":
** Fruitcake makes you evil.
** Even if you spend the whole year being a jerk, you'll still get presents if everyone else in your town is even worse.
** You can tell someone's an asshole because they have stubble.
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
* "Struck in the Wringer": You're a bad person for calling out your best friend for ruining your life and you deserved to be in your unpleasant state.
to:
* "Struck in the Wringer": Wringer":
** You're a bad person for calling out your best friend for ruining your life and you deserved to be in your unpleasantstate.state.
** Crying really ''does'' solve all of your problems.
** You're a bad person for calling out your best friend for ruining your life and you deserved to be in your unpleasant
** Crying really ''does'' solve all of your problems.
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Added DiffLines:
** It's perfectly fine to rip someone's mouth off because they made fun of your hat.
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Changed line(s) 209 (click to see context) from:
** It's okay to beat up babies because you don't like what your friend is doing.
to:
** It's okay to beat up babies because you don't like what your friend is doing.doing.
* “Shuffleboarding”: If you waste food, don’t tie your shoelaces, chew your gum too loudly, or become too old, you will get thrown in jail.
* “Shuffleboarding”: If you waste food, don’t tie your shoelaces, chew your gum too loudly, or become too old, you will get thrown in jail.
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Changed line(s) 200 (click to see context) from:
** It's perfectly fine to trick people into hurting themselves to attract customers to a restaurant.
to:
** It's perfectly fine to trick people into hurting themselves to attract customers to a restaurant.restaurant.
* "Gary's Playhouse": It's okay to skip work to watch cute animals all day.
* "Mandatory Music": Sometimes you need to be arrested for assaulting children and schoolteachers to discover your true talents.
* "The Goobfather":
** Ice cream explodes after it melts.
** If someone is getting all up in your business and telling you what you cannot do, even though he has no authority to, don't fight back. Otherwise a fat guy in a blimp will nuke the both of you.
* "My Friend Patty":
** Are people suicidal? Blame science.
** Some people get no joy out of life unless they kill themselves.
** It's okay to beat up babies because you don't like what your friend is doing.
* "Gary's Playhouse": It's okay to skip work to watch cute animals all day.
* "Mandatory Music": Sometimes you need to be arrested for assaulting children and schoolteachers to discover your true talents.
* "The Goobfather":
** Ice cream explodes after it melts.
** If someone is getting all up in your business and telling you what you cannot do, even though he has no authority to, don't fight back. Otherwise a fat guy in a blimp will nuke the both of you.
* "My Friend Patty":
** Are people suicidal? Blame science.
** Some people get no joy out of life unless they kill themselves.
** It's okay to beat up babies because you don't like what your friend is doing.
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Added DiffLines:
** Also, if you're a terrible comedian, you can still become extremely popular if you decide to tell racist jokes.
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Changed line(s) 194 (click to see context) from:
** If you ever see someone hit a human-sized sack into the trunk of a car with a shovel, don't worry: It's just a bunch of laundry.
to:
** If you ever see someone hit a human-sized sack into the trunk of a car with a shovel, don't worry: It's just a bunch of laundry.laundry.
* "Wet Painters":
** If you make a giant paint bubble then blow it up, it will miraculously only cover the walls of the room while missing everything else.
** If you damage someone's personal property, don't worry about consequences; they'll just reverse the damage by rubbing saliva on it.
** It's perfectly fine to trick people into hurting themselves to attract customers to a restaurant.
* "Wet Painters":
** If you make a giant paint bubble then blow it up, it will miraculously only cover the walls of the room while missing everything else.
** If you damage someone's personal property, don't worry about consequences; they'll just reverse the damage by rubbing saliva on it.
** It's perfectly fine to trick people into hurting themselves to attract customers to a restaurant.
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Changed line(s) 190 (click to see context) from:
* "Karen for Spot": Someone leaves you instructions to care for their pet? Screw that. Feed them napkin dispensers.
to:
* "Karen for Spot": Someone leaves you instructions to care for their pet? Screw that. Feed them napkin dispensers.dispensers.
* "Krusty Towers":
** If you ever go into a hotel, it's perfectly fine to make ridiculous requests like having them bring the swimming pool into your room, carry you up the stairs into your room, and do a complete redesign of your room. They'll all be accepted without question.
** You should carry rocks around in suitcases all day.
** If you ever see someone hit a human-sized sack into the trunk of a car with a shovel, don't worry: It's just a bunch of laundry.
* "Krusty Towers":
** If you ever go into a hotel, it's perfectly fine to make ridiculous requests like having them bring the swimming pool into your room, carry you up the stairs into your room, and do a complete redesign of your room. They'll all be accepted without question.
** You should carry rocks around in suitcases all day.
** If you ever see someone hit a human-sized sack into the trunk of a car with a shovel, don't worry: It's just a bunch of laundry.
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Changed line(s) 171 (click to see context) from:
** Your teenage daughter has every right to kick you out of your own house.
to:
** Your teenage daughter has every right to kick you out of your own house.house.
* "A Place for Pets": Always be with everybody's pets, no matter how unsanitary it is.
* "Goofy Scoopers":
** People who don't like what you like are wrong.
** No new music is ever good. Only old music and remixes of said old music are worthwhile.
* "There Will Be Grease": If you see a gross substance on the ground, take it home and rub it all over your body and use it for everything for days on end.
* "Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club": Blame all your problems on one person.
* "Upturn Girls": Being gross, harming people, and destroying expensive merchandise is fine because at least you're not ''boring''!
* "Captain Pipsqueak": Brand loyalty triumphs over all evil.
* "Plane to Sea": Someone rigged a contest to force you to take them on a vacation? Do it.
* "Squidferatu": Even if someone threatens you with an axe, it's only because they're trying to return your mail.
* "Wallhalla":
** It's okay to not give food to starving old men.
** Barge into people's houses and flush their mail down the toilet. It's fine.
* "Salty Sponge": Nothing adds to a cheery atmosphere like keeping pictures of a graveyard on the wall.
* "Arbor Day Disarray": Don't celebrate Arbor Day or a bunch of trees will harass your friends and destroy the town.
* "Ma and Pa's Big Hurrah":
** Nobody actually ever ''wants'' to have fun, no matter how many times they say it.
** Being an asshole to your parents is totally fine.
* "Karen for Spot": Someone leaves you instructions to care for their pet? Screw that. Feed them napkin dispensers.
* "A Place for Pets": Always be with everybody's pets, no matter how unsanitary it is.
* "Goofy Scoopers":
** People who don't like what you like are wrong.
** No new music is ever good. Only old music and remixes of said old music are worthwhile.
* "There Will Be Grease": If you see a gross substance on the ground, take it home and rub it all over your body and use it for everything for days on end.
* "Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club": Blame all your problems on one person.
* "Upturn Girls": Being gross, harming people, and destroying expensive merchandise is fine because at least you're not ''boring''!
* "Captain Pipsqueak": Brand loyalty triumphs over all evil.
* "Plane to Sea": Someone rigged a contest to force you to take them on a vacation? Do it.
* "Squidferatu": Even if someone threatens you with an axe, it's only because they're trying to return your mail.
* "Wallhalla":
** It's okay to not give food to starving old men.
** Barge into people's houses and flush their mail down the toilet. It's fine.
* "Salty Sponge": Nothing adds to a cheery atmosphere like keeping pictures of a graveyard on the wall.
* "Arbor Day Disarray": Don't celebrate Arbor Day or a bunch of trees will harass your friends and destroy the town.
* "Ma and Pa's Big Hurrah":
** Nobody actually ever ''wants'' to have fun, no matter how many times they say it.
** Being an asshole to your parents is totally fine.
* "Karen for Spot": Someone leaves you instructions to care for their pet? Screw that. Feed them napkin dispensers.
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
** You should feel confident about writing a 800-word essay in 5 minutes.
to:
** You should feel confident about writing a an 800-word essay in 5 minutes.
Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
* "Pre-Hibernation Week": Comfort zones exist for a reason. Anyone who wants to push you out of them only want you dead.
to:
* "Pre-Hibernation Week": Comfort zones exist for a reason. Anyone who wants to push you out of them only want wants you dead.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* "Pat No Pay": It's ok to not pay for your food, it's not like you can get charges pressed against you.
to:
* "Pat No Pay": Pay":
** It's ok to not pay for your food, it's not like you can get charges pressed againstyou.you.
** Hand soap is safe to eat, especially if it's mint-scented.
** It's ok to not pay for your food, it's not like you can get charges pressed against
** Hand soap is safe to eat, especially if it's mint-scented.
Changed line(s) 76 (click to see context) from:
* "Something Smells": Bad breath means that you're ugly.
to:
* "Something Smells": Smells":
** Bad breath means that you'reugly.ugly.
** Onions, ketchup, peanuts, and dirt make for a really good ice cream sundae.
** Bad breath means that you're
** Onions, ketchup, peanuts, and dirt make for a really good ice cream sundae.
Changed line(s) 101 (click to see context) from:
* "Breath of a Fresh Squidward": It's only okay to be clingy if ''you'' are doing the clinging. If anyone does the same towards you, it's wrong and he deserves to be yelled at for doing something [[{{Hypocrite}} you do all the time.]]
to:
* "Breath of a Fresh Squidward": Squidward":
** It's only okay to be clingy if ''you'' are doing the clinging. If anyone does the same towards you, it's wrong and he deserves to be yelled at for doing something [[{{Hypocrite}} you do all the time.]]]]
** It's okay to break into your neighbor's house to watch the sunrise in their bedroom.
** It's only okay to be clingy if ''you'' are doing the clinging. If anyone does the same towards you, it's wrong and he deserves to be yelled at for doing something [[{{Hypocrite}} you do all the time.
** It's okay to break into your neighbor's house to watch the sunrise in their bedroom.
Changed line(s) 106 (click to see context) from:
* "The Idiot Box": If you decide to take part in whatever fun the youth are doing when they take a break to sleep, you and the fun will both go to the landfill.
to:
* "The Idiot Box": Box":
** If you decide to take part in whatever fun the youth are doing when they take a break to sleep, you and the fun will both go to thelandfill.landfill.
** If it's Christmas and you can't afford a present, just get your significant other a box.
** Boxing really ''is'' about boxes.
** If you decide to take part in whatever fun the youth are doing when they take a break to sleep, you and the fun will both go to the
** If it's Christmas and you can't afford a present, just get your significant other a box.
** Boxing really ''is'' about boxes.
Changed line(s) 148 (click to see context) from:
* The Movie: The best way to take down a fascist regime is with a sick guitar solo!
to:
** If it's sufficiently cold, you can use your nose drippings as a pair of chopsticks.
* TheMovie: Movie:
** The best way to take down a fascist regime is with a sick guitarsolo!solo!
** The best evil plans are always lemon-scented.
** You can't fool someone who listens to public radio.
* The
** The best way to take down a fascist regime is with a sick guitar
** The best evil plans are always lemon-scented.
** You can't fool someone who listens to public radio.
Changed line(s) 156 (click to see context) from:
* "Selling Out": Your workplace's HR department is legally allowed to beat you to a pulp for not being happy.
to:
* "Selling Out": Out":
** Your workplace's HR department is legally allowed to beat you to a pulp for not beinghappy.happy.
** Your teenage daughter has every right to kick you out of your own house.
** Your workplace's HR department is legally allowed to beat you to a pulp for not being
** Your teenage daughter has every right to kick you out of your own house.
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Changed line(s) 98 (click to see context) from:
* "Nature Pants": Living close to nature will never work.
to:
* "Nature Pants": Living Pants":
**Living close to nature will neverwork.work.
**Never choose LibertyOverProsperity.
**Living close to nature will never
**Never choose LibertyOverProsperity.
