History UsefulNotes / TheRulersOfNorthKorea

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest adult relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world; with multiple people, including South Korea’s intelligence agency, refering to her as the de facto [[NumberTwo second in command]] of North Korea 'as a whole''. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest adult relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world; with multiple people, including South Korea’s intelligence agency, refering to her as the de facto [[NumberTwo second in command]] of North Korea. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

Kim Jong-chul was the obvious next in line, but his father considered him too "weak" and "effeminate" to be the leader. It is unknown if this is because he was simply overly sensitive, outright homosexual, or (gasp) concerned about the welfare of the Korean people.

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest adult relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world; with multiple people thinking that she's the [[NumberTwo second in command]] of North Korea. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest adult relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world; with multiple people thinking that she's the de facto [[NumberTwo second in command]] of her brother. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest adult relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

!!Kim Jong-il - [[OverlyLongTitle Suryong, Eternal General Secretary of the Korean Worker's Party and Eternal Chairman of the National Defence Commission, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army]]

[[caption-width-right:350:Massive bronze statues of "Eternal Leaders" Kim Il-sung (left) and Kim Jong-il (right) at the Mansu Hill Grand Monument in Pyongyang.]]

Because there are hundreds of interests, bodies, and personalities within the Kim family whose competition and intrigues drive the UsefulNotes/{{North Korea}}n government, it can sometimes get ''kim''possible%%why did you have to say that%% to keep up with them. As a result, we've compiled this handy guide to the men and women (but [[HeirClubForMen mostly men]]) who run the world's most repressive and secretive nation.

Because there are hundreds of interests, bodies, and personalities within the Kim family whose competition and intrigues drive the UsefulNotes/{{North Korea}}n government, it can sometimes get ''kim''possible%%why did you have to say that%%
to keep up with them. As a result, we've compiled this handy guide to the men and women (but [[HeirClubForMen mostly men]]) who run the world's most repressive and secretive nation.

Because there are hundreds of interests, bodies, and personalities within the Kim family whose competition and intrigues drive the North Korean government, it can sometimes get ''kim''possible%%why did you have to say that%%

Kim Jong-il took over officially on his father's death in 1994, but there may have been a minor power struggle, and it was not until 1995 that the new Kim would make a public appearance. By late 1995, though, it was clear that Kim Jong-il was North Korea's ruler for the foreseeable future. In October of that year, he led a massive parade of the Korean People's Army; around this time, several high-ranking generals were burned at the stake [[PublicExecution in front of 150,000 spectators at the Rungnado May Day Stadium in Pyongyang]]. Every five years, Kim was unanimously reelected leader (funny that). But Kim's economic policy was poor, and he could not slow down the "Arduous March" that killed as many as 3 million people. Despite his country's hardships, Kim enjoyed luxuries like cognac, lobsters (which he dined on with silver chopsticks), and even a servant who [[PickyEater would throw away rice grains found to be imperfect]]. Kim was eventually forced to open North Korea up to a modicum of outside investment. He did so by establishing a "Sunshine Policy" with the South and opening (and closing, and reopening) the Kaesong Industrial Region, a small section of North Korea dedicated to foreign investment.

And by the way, the reason he is always pictured and photographed looking to his right is to hide some very unpleasant tumoral calcinosis, [[{{Squick}} which manifested itself as an enormous baseball-sized tumor on the right side of his neck]]. [[http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/8c/Kimilsungtumor.jpg Look at it!]] Now [[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r6hYi2_aleI/UnD5S1epklI/AAAAAAAAB58/WXGtUMITuZA/s1600/kim_il_sung_photo3.jpg look at it again!]]

Rumors of his demise started in 2008, when he missed the Olympic Torch Relay in Pyongyang. Scuttlebutt at the time was either a coup attempt or a serious bout of ill health; the latter is more likely considering that a French neurosurgeon was flown to Pyongyang to treat him that year. Kim would hang on until December 17, 2011, when, according to UsefulNotes/SouthKorea's intelligence agencies, advisors informed him of serious construction flaws ([[EpicFail including leakages]]) in a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huichon#Hydroelectric_power hydroelectric power plant]] [[PollutedWasteland near the city of Huichon]] that [[EnergyEconomy was crucial]] to North Korea's economy, and being [[BadBoss Kim Jong Il]], he [[ShootTheMessenger flew into a rage]] due to the obvious YouHaveFailedMe, got on the [[CoolTrain North Korean]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korean_leaders%27_trains Leader's train]] [[note]] Observers claim that [[GenerationXerox like his father before him and his successor]] ([[HereditaryRepublic who is also his son]]), Kim Jong-Il [[InformedFlaw hated flying]] and thus travelled everywhere by large and ludicrously luxurious trains [[/note]] to inspect the site, and [[KarmicDeath died of a heart attack on the train]] [[note]] However, it was more of a CriticalExistenceFailure because Kim Jong was already very [[IncrediblyLamePun ill]] since at least 2008, as previously mentioned on this page. Between 2008 to his death, the worldwide media [[WildMassGuessing speculated]] what happened to him, ranging from "normal" sounding demises such as cancer, stroke, heart attacks or dementia, to crazier theories like being a PuppetKing due to incapacitation (such as senility) or a secret overthrow, victimised by a CostumeCopycat, or dying and getting a DeadPersonImpersonation or even an ElCidPloy. [[/note]]. The world at large only found out a week later. His death was met with similar hysterical reactions as his father's was, because apparently in North Korea it is a severely punishable offense to not grieve hysterically enough when the leader dies. He left the family business to...

He began with a program of collectivization of industry, agriculture, and services. Five years after the end of the Korean War, every single economic enterprise in North Korea was in the hands of the Korean Workers' Party. "Foreign influences" such as Chinese troops were removed from Korea. Arms production and heavy industry were prioritized, and North Korea retained a massive army to straddle the Korean DMZ. Kim's North Korea was the more prosperous Korea for a short while at least, with even many non-communists praising 1960s Pyongyang as an economic miracle.[[note]]However, even at this stage, agricultural shortfalls and industrial stagnation were already apparent but covered up by the government[[/note]].

He began with a program of collectivization of industry, agriculture, and services. Five years after the end of the Korean War, every single economic enterprise in North Korea was in the hands of the Korean Workers' Party. "Foreign influences" such as Chinese troops were removed from Korea. Arms production and heavy industry were prioritized, and North Korea retained a massive army to straddle the Korean DMZ. Kim's North Korea was the more prosperous Korea for a short while at least, with even many non-communists praising 1960s Pyongyang as an economic miracle.

Kim Jong-il took over officially on his father's death in 1994, but there may have been a minor power struggle, and it was not until 1995 that the new Kim would make a public appearance. By late 1995, though, it was clear that Kim Jong-il was North Korea's ruler for the foreseeable future. In October of that year, he led a massive parade of the Korean People's Army; around this time, several high-ranking generals were burned at the stake [[PublicExecution in front of 150,000 spectators at the Rungnado May Day Stadium in Pyongyang]]. Every five years, Kim was unanimously reelected leader (funny that). But Kim's economic policy was poor, and he could not slow down the "Arduous March" that killed as many as 3 million people. Kim was eventually forced to open North Korea up to a modicum of outside investment. He did so by establishing a "Sunshine Policy" with the South and opening (and closing, and reopening) the Kaesong Industrial Region, a small section of North Korea dedicated to foreign investment.

He was born Kim Sŏng-ju on April 15, 1912, in the small village of Mangyongdae-Guyok in the Pangrim Mountains, just outside Pyongyang, on [[ItWasADarkAndStormyNight a dark and stormy night]][[note]]Also the same night the ''[[UsefulNotes/RMSTitanic Titanic]]'' sank[[/note]]. At the time of his birth, Korea was ruled by the Meiji Empire of Japan. Kim characterized his family as not wealthy, but never impoverished, managing to stay "one step away" from poverty. Officially, Kim's parents were Korean independence activists; Kim himself would also claim that they were also both Communist politicians and devout Christians, not unheard of even among Communists at the time.[[note]]Karl Marx's thinking aside, the modern conception of communism as incompatible with religion only really took hold after the Russian Revolution a few years later.[[/note]]

He began with a program of collectivization of industry, agriculture, and services. Five years after the end of the Korean War, every single economic enterprise in North Korea was in the hands of the Korean Workers' Party. "Foreign influences" such as Chinese troops were removed from Korea. Arms production and heavy industry were prioritized, and North Korea retained a massive army to straddle the Korean DMZ. But despite this, Kim's hold on power was shaky in the country's early years. He had to fend off China and the USSR, who both wanted to use North Korea as a puppet state. He used the chaos of the Sino-Soviet split as an opportunity to purge those influences from his government and take control of the country. Kim's purges were unique in that they didn't even bother with the formalities of trial; even Mao and Stalin accorded their victims the dignity of a KangarooCourt. Kim also started the trend of purging not only the dissidents themselves (real or imagined), but their families over ''three generations'', who would all be sent to brutal prison camps; children were born in the camps because of something a ''great-grandparent'' supposedly did.

At the end of UsefulNotes/WorldWarII in 1945, Korea was divided into American and Soviet occupation zones; NKVD director Lavrentiy Beriya tapped Kim to run the Soviet zone. In 1950, he convinced Stalin to allow him to invade South Korea and reunify the peninsula, beginning the UsefulNotes/KoreanWar. And Kim was initially successful; the Korean People's Army [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomped]] the South Koreans[[note]] Since South Korea's American-backed president, Syngman Rhee, had turned out to be ''at least'' as AxCrazy and authoritarian as Kim, Washington didn't trust him with tanks, warships, or aircraft. As a result, the ROK Army of 1950 was pretty much nothing but light infantry, while Kim's Soviet patrons had been kind enough to outfit his army with all of the cool toys they could want, most prominently [=T-34-85s=] and Katyusha rocket artillery [[/note]] and practically destroyed the American 24th Infantry Division[[note]] The Americans neither expected nor wanted hostilities in Korean Peninsula, which was considered a backwater at the time, so the 24th ID also lacked the hardware to take on Kim's upgunned tanks. The emergency reinforcement designated Task Force Smith was also deployed without armor or antitank weapons of any kind, with predictable results[[/note]]. The UN forces under famed American general UsefulNotes/DouglasMacArthur counterattacked swiftly with the landing at Inchon. By October 1950, Pyongyang had fallen, and Kim was pushed to the Chinese border. Then the Chinese jumped in, and with their help, Kim pushed the UN forces back south, until the Chinese found their supply lines critically overextended. Then the UN forces pushed back north to the 38th parallel, where a bloody stalemate lasted until the armistice that would pause the Korean War was worked out.[[note]]It's technically ''still'' not over; there's just a break in the fighting.[[/note]]

The younger sister of Kim Jong-Un. Considered to be the heir presumptive to North Korea's leadership, by virtue of being the closest relative in high favor, with all other possible contenders in the family tree being in exile, in disgrace, or dead. She is de facto in charge of the North Korean [[PropagandaMachine Propaganda and Agitation Department]], putting her in charge of what information is seen by the North Korean people and what image is presented to the outside world. Visited South Korea for government meetings during the 2018 Olympics, the first time a direct descendant of the Kim family has done so since the Korean War, and also marking the first time casual outside observers even knew she ''existed''. She spearheaded the two United States-North Korea summits in 2018-19 and is considered almost ''scary'' competent at her job of public relations, especially contrasted with the sybaratic excesses and megalomania of most of the rest of her family. Has become something of a minor social media celebrity due to being a young female government official from the world's most oppressive regime while looking cute as a button. [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Allegedly as ruthless as her brother, if not more so.]]

After Kim Jong-il's death, Marshal Ri Yong-ho, head of the General Staff of the Korean People's Army, smoothed Kim Jong-un's way to power and oversaw the handover of allegiance from the military to the new Kim. In 2012, Kim was appointed Marshal, the highest rank in the KPA [[RankInflation not held by his father or grandfather]]. The grateful Kim pledged to share power with the loyal Ri and reward him with vast sums of money. Oh no, wait, we mean [[UngratefulBastard he had him executed]]. It wouldn't stop there; in 2013, Kim would execute [[EvilNephew his own uncle]], Jang Sung-taek; as he was the Vice-Chairman of the National Defence Commission, he was effectively the most powerful man in the DPRK after Kim himself. The charges against Jang were morbidly hilarious and included [[DisproportionateRetribution "clapping half-heartedly" and having a granite monument to Kim moved to a "shaded corner".]] There were even claims in 2015 that he had his aunt Kim Kyong-hui, Jang's wife, poisoned the previous year for complaining about her husband's death. (He hadn't.)

Kim was left to rule over a devastated land. The UN air forces under Curtis [=LeMay=][[note]]fittingly known as "Bombs Away [=LeMay=]"[[/note]] had been merciless in their campaign; [=LeMay=] boasted that he grounded his bombers only when there were no targets left. 98% of Pyongyang was destroyed; it was the most devastated city in a bombing campaign in modern history. And this left Kim Il-sung a sterilized plot of land and a population emptied by war, something Creator/ChristopherHitchens characterized as "a laboratory, with controlled conditions, where he alone would be engineer of the human soul." As the ruler of North Korea, Kim Il-sung would prove to be a particularly vicious architect.

By 1920, when Kim was eight, his family had caused the Japanese enough trouble that they were forced to flee to Manchuria. In 1926, Kim's father died of third-degree frostbite; he left the 14-year-old Kim Song-ju with two FN Model 1900 pistols and a mission to fight the Japanese. From there, the story is disputed. The official North Korean line is that at 14, Kim founded the Down-With-Imperialism Union (considered the roots of the Korean Workers' party); at 19, he joined the Communist Party of China and united the disparate anti-Japanese guerillas in Korea;[[note]]There was a "Communist Party of Korea" at the time, but it had been expelled from the Comintern and purged, so it was apparently unworthy of Kim's attention.[[/note]]; and he started to write prolifically, making several policy predictions which later turned out to be spot-on (funny that). South Korea's official line until the TheEighties was that the North Korean leader may have been a different person entirely who was given the original Kim Il-sung's identity by the Soviets; this has been largely debunked by Chinese and declassified Soviet records. The truth is likely somewhere in between; Kim was an anti-Japanese guerrilla fighter before and during World War II. His career as such was either a stunning Alexandrian success (if you ask North Korea) or slightly above average (if you ask historical records).

Brother of Kim Il-sung, uncle of Kim Jong-il, and great uncle of Kim Jong-un, Kim Yong-ju is eight years his brother's junior. He studied in Moscow and was a keen philosopher. His Russianized ways and more classical view of Marxism earned his brother's ire; his political allies were removed, and he himself was sidelined in favor of Kim Jong-il. Eventually, Kim Il-sung is believed to have physically attacked him. He spent the 1980s under house arrest, until Kim Jong-il brought him back in 1993 to serve as honorary Vice President of the DPRK, and then honorary Vice President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, a post he holds to this day. He is 100 years old.

Because there are hundreds of interests, bodies, and personalities within the Kim family whose competition and intrigues drive the North Korean government, it can sometimes get ''kim''possible%%why did you have to say that%% to keep up with them. As a result, we've compiled this handy guide to the men and women (but [[HeirClubForMen mostly men]]) who run the world's most repressive and secretive nation.

Because there are hundreds of interests, bodies, and personalities within the Kim family whose competition and intrigues drive the North Korean government, it can sometimes get ''kim''possible to keep up with them. As a result, we've compiled this handy guide to the men and women (but [[HeirClubForMen mostly men]]) who run the world's most repressive and secretive nation.

->''"[[IncrediblyLamePun The Kim is dead. Long live the Kim]]!"''

He was born Kim Sŏng-ju on April 15, 1912, in the small village of Mangyongdae-Guyok in the Pangrim Mountains, just outside Pyongyang, on [[ItWasADarkAndStormyNight a dark and stormy night]]. At the time of his birth, Korea was ruled by the Meiji Empire of Japan. Kim characterized his family as not wealthy, but never impoverished, managing to stay "one step away" from poverty. Officially, Kim's parents were Korean independence activists; Kim himself would also claim that they were also both Communist politicians and devout Christians, not unheard of even among Communists at the time.[[note]]Karl Marx's thinking aside, the modern conception of communism as incompatible with religion only really took hold after the Russian Revolution a few years later.[[/note]]