History UsefulNotes / Mexico

Due to the relative backwardness of Mexico, open air television still is by far the dominant medium in the country. There are two open air channels: Televisa and Azteca, both private and suspect of being colluded in a duopoly cartel that decides what is or isn't shown on open air TV in the country, which also explains why many politicians bow to these companies' whims.

Most of you should know the cheesy "Telenovelas", [[ProfessionalWrestling Lucha Libre]] and masked ''luchadores'' like ElSanto, and perhaps even ElChavoDelOcho and that creepy Santa Claus movie MST3K riffed once. But there has been more stuff that, due to CreatorProvincialism , might never see the light of day outside from Mexico, like lots and lots of old movies and sketch series made between the 40's and 70's. Like the rest of the world, cable and some open air programming material consists heavily of imported American TV and films. Most newspapers in Mexico are unprofitable but survive thanks to bribes that local city or state governments or the drug cartels pay to keep them quiet on certain inconvenient issues. Only a handful of papers (mostly those who enjoy national distribution or have a very large market) survive on their own. Comics made in Mexico are practically an underground movement. Even the most successful are often unable to reach a true national distribution be it on magazines or newspapers.

!!An (not so) abridged history:

Before it was colonized, it was home of and originator to some of the {{Precursors}} for the [[{{Mayincatec}} Olmec, Mayan, and Aztec civilizations.]] Expect them all to be [[DidNotDoTheResearch lumped together]] when the AdventurerArchaeologist investigates [[RuinsForRuinsSake ruins]] in search of treasure. But we don't care about those [[MagicalNativeAmerican silly brown people]]. Well, not unless they're [[HotAmazon hot]] and/or there's a {{curse}} involved.

It was colonized by [[UsefulNotes/{{Spain}} Spain]], those people in the funny metal Conquistador hats who looked for [[CityOfGold cities of gold]] (or means to [[GoldFever get gold]], they weren't picky), and proceeded to massacre the "[[ImAHumanitarian cannibal]] [[CannibalClan natives]]" and "[[ChasedByAngryNatives idol worshipers]]" with plagues and horses. (The plagues were actually unintentional but handy at first, inconvenient after victory). Hernán Cortés and his men were able to win against the Aztec empire by [[ManipulativeBastard manipulating]] their [[LaResistance unwilling subjects]] into an alliance. Fun and profit were had by all. And by all, we mean Cortés, his soldiers, and many of his native allies. Everyone else was either forcibly converted and enslaved in the Hacienda system (think Plantation) or killed. Even his native allies got sort of shafted, also being forcibly converted and becoming second class citizens below spaniards... which was still loads better than plebeian mexicans who were actually ''worse off'' than under the Aztecs, but who cares about ''them?''

Many things happened in the Colonial period, but for some reason the next 300 years are mostly ignored until ''"La Independencia!"'' Lots of shooting and fighting, wherein the Spanish rule is kicked out for being TheEmpire. Right after, one of the leaders of the winning group, Agustí­n de Iturbide, arranged for himself to be crowned emperor and ruled... 11 months. After that he was exiled, and executed when he decided to return. Then Guadalupe Victoria became our first presidente. His MeaningfulName and very GenderBlenderName is not an accident, as he picked it himself.

After this pop culture kind of skips the next 30 or so years of political infighting until the ''Mexican American War'', at which point Mexicans become {{Red Shirt}}s to attack The Alamo. By the way, don't bring this up in the company of polite Mexicans unless you want to hear an earful about how the US supported Texas' independence only to annex it and use it as a ''casus belli'' once we attacked. Bring it up in the company of impolite Mexicans and, well... let's just say we can hold a grudge for centuries (just ask Spain). Worth noting is how Antonio de Padua Marí­a Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón (try to say that without stopping to breath), mostly known as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna or just Santa Anna, went from Independence hero to eleven times president/dictator to national traitor, first class, due to the loss of the war. It's because of his merry-go-round presidencies that Mexicans, ''to this day,'' distrust re-election on principle.

At some moment in 1838, [[UsefulNotes/{{France}} France]] invades Mexico as payback [[SillyReasonForWar because a baker's shop was destroyed in the fighting]]... among another things. Want to know the name of the war? "The Pastry War".

Problems were far from over as there were two main groups who wanted to have complete influence in the political life of the country. One group were called the [[BlackShirt Conservadores]], who believed that many mechanisms that worked well in Colonial Mexico should be maintained. Some also believed the country should be ruled by a European monarch (as they saw the republic system as the worst thing that happened to the country, what with the endless rebellions, coups d'etat, and lame duck governments).

Opposing them were the [[BrotherhoodOfFunnyHats Liberals]], who believed the colonial past should be left behind in favor of modernization and decided to take the U.S. as an example of how things should be done. (They felt quite betrayed when their admired big brother invaded and took a good chunk of Mexico's territory). Then president Ignacio Comonfort was not as comfortable as his name suggests. He got a mixed cabinet of both liberals and conservatives and then self-coup d' état'ed. As it turns out, both groups engaged in mature and constructive debate for the betterment of the country via long and nasty war.

Because of the already mentioned conflict the Mexican economy was in the red, so it was decided to suspend the foreign debt until some money could be collected to pay it. This wasn't of the liking of Spain (to whom we owed the most), the British Empire (to whom we owed a little less), and France (to whom we owed the least), so they decided to send ships and soldiers to demand their money. When they arrived in the port of Veracruz, President Benito Juárez arranged a treaty promising that payment would be made... but not at the moment. Britain and Spain decided it was okay after having their ambassadors taken to a particularly underdeveloped area and realizing that they were shitting them not with "no freakin' money" and retired, but France moved inside the country as they planned to invade anyway... ''[[RecycledScript again.]]''

[[TheNapoleon Napoleon]] the Third decided that it needed a French protectorate to stop the growth of influence of the [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates United States]], and believed that Mexico was the perfect place for his plans. Many of the Conservadores actually went to France to arrange this. The crown was offered to Maximilian, younger brother of Emperor Franz Josef of UsefulNotes/{{Austria}} [[hottip:*:(also uncle of ''[[WorldWarOne that]]'' Franz, this family had some rotten luck in the 19th and 20th centuries)]] which made him brother in law of famous Sissy. One memorable event in between is when our RagtagBunchOfMisfits, led by Ignacio Zaragoza, beat their awesome croissants in "El Cinco de Mayo", and now we get another holiday out of it (they kind of kicked our tacos around for a few years after that, but shh). This holiday is notable for being probably the sole honest-to-God pride of your country events in the whole history of Mexico, losing the war or not it was simply unbelievable for the French ''or the mexicans themselves'' that this paradise of coups d'etat defeated motherfucking France in a serious battle, sort of that short nerd in your classroom beating to a pulp the tall jock with all the chicks... only to have the whole football team handing his ass later, yeah, but ''still''; "The weapons of Mexico have been covered in glory" indeed.

The second Mexican empire lasted 3 years until it was defeated and Conservadores everywhere shot. The Liberales may have won the Civil War, but many political fights happened inside the victorious party as [[EvilPowerVacuum everybody wanted to be president]]. President Juárez went for reelection, but died just in time (in 1872, merely one year after his reelection) to avoid going the way of Santa Ana into Infamy. Mexican "heroes" tend to [[FallenHero end that way]]; ([[DarkKnightTrilogy Harvey Dent]] was right about that). MagnificentBastard Porfirio Dí­az rebelled... and won, won so hard that he got to rule Mexico for the next 30 years.

Depending who you ask things were "relatively" dull under Porfirio Díaz's mostly enlightened "[[PresidentEvil Presidency]]" until 1910 and ''"La Revolución!"'' (For some reason, [[UsefulNotesOnAmerica Americans]] really dig this part of our history. As a Mexican school kid, all this troper can say is any civil war with more than three factions is a headache to keep track of (not complaining about the holiday, though). This is where you'll see "Bandidos" and outlaws, charismatic rebels like Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata leading the peasants against the centre, small Mexican towns in need of rescue by MightyWhitey, and quite a few [[TheWestern westerns]]... (southerns?)

Once La Revolución ends, we have some nice, long 70 years of [[strike:dictatorship]] democracy bordering on BananaRepublic under the PRI, founded by the people who won the Revolution. Thing is, while it was a single party system, the presidents only served for six years apiece (originally 4 years, but Lázaro Cárdenas expanded the term), giving the illusion of change. All were corrupt, some were [[VisionaryVillain visionaries]], a few went [[TheCaligula insane]].

This "dictatorship that looks like a democracy" thing starts really fading away in 1994, when Ernesto Zedillo finally eases back on the President's grip over the country (not mentioning his predecessor, Carlos Salinas de Gortari, being one of our most hated presidents due to the financial crisis that ensued his mandate), and finally ends in 2000, when the ruling party is replaced.

Due a combination of the government ignoring them, poverty, and America's lax weapon laws, and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster high profit of selling drugs]], the [[GangBangers Gangs and Cholos]] became [[TheCartel Organized, resourceful, and very violent]], despite the fact that they were (and still are) in plain sight, recruiting young people because they're led to believe that GangstersAreCool, even gaining control of certain Cities and lots of small towns.
Daily shootings are reported on places like Tijuana and Ciudad Juarez, and most people there can claim to know someone on the Drug's Business, but no one does anything, since it is, for the most part, [[PoliceAreUseless useless]]. To make things worse, denouncing narcos to anyone ''but'' the army is a guarante for [[FateWorseThanDeath a horrible]] [[ColdBloodedTorture fate]] [[CruelAndUnusualDeath for you]] and [[RevengeByProxy your family]] if you are ([[DirtyCop and you will be]]) discovered, or more simply, because being in [[TheCartel "El Negocio"]] (The Business) is not seen as a bad thing. Hell, you can hear songs (narcocorridos, "drug trafficker runs") describing a CruelAndUnusualDeath and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster life of a gangster]] on parties, taxis, karaokes and bars. The drug subculture became Ingrained in lots of states, and many teenagers aspire to enter in [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean the Business world]] or escape from Mexico (legally or [[TheIllegal otherwise]]).

It must be noted, however, that though consumption has been increasing there still aren't a lot of consumers in Mexico; the main profit still comes from the American consumers, though now traffickers are starting to fight over who owns the local market. The drug cartels use violence within Mexico against each other for control of the land routes, and against the Mexican government because it is against them. In turn, the Mexican government fights against them because they're undermining national security, society, sovereignty... and because America puts pressure on them.

Nowadays, we're mostly democratic, and slightly less pessimistic about being doomed to live in a [[CrapsackWorld Crapsack]] [[strike:[[CrapsackWorld World]]]] [[strike: [[CrapsackWorld Country]]]] {{Gangsterland}}. It's kind of a work in progress, really. Check out MexicanPolitics for more.

Mexican humor is diverse but largely formulaic and simplistic. For example shows and stand-up comedians mostly resort to tried and true jokes OlderThanRadio. Comedy may rely on pure slapstick ("El Chavo") or feature social/political comentary (however it's very rare to find this trait on mainstream media), but our stongest and most characteristic type of humor is the famous "albur" (pronounced "al-BOOR") which consist in heavily sexual wordplay and double entendre, basically it's {{Getting Crap Past The Radar}} taken {{Up To Eleven}} since many people in the country already have the double entendres memorized, especially censors. The albur serves as the foremost justification that Mexicans have in believing themselves the most ingenious and good natured nation ever. If they make fun of others, rest assured they have developed a level of [[SelfDeprecation self deprecating]] humor WoodyAllen would admire (before knocking himself for it). Since making fun of people based on their race, their gender, or their handicaps isn't considered as politically incorrect as it is in the US or the UK it may seem that Mexican comedy can be [[UnfortunateImplications crass]].

* And the gang banger/kidnapper.

Mexico itself is usually shown either as [[SouthOfTheBorder a dusty, dilapidated small town]], an urban slum of a deathtrap, or a beautiful tropical resort hotel. Also, don't drink the water. (We make more money if you drink the Tequila.) (You do have very good food, though.) (Why thank you! Here, have a [[http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_de_dulce Concha!]].) (OM NOM NOM NOM. ''Pan de dulce'': provides 100% RDA of win.)

Tourism is an important source of revenue, regularly ranking among Mexico's top 5 moneymakers. Important touristic places include the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight clichéd to mexicans]] but impressing to foreigners Channels of Xochimilco, sort of our version of Venice but with more colorful boats. Oh and the Mayan pyramids such as Chichen Itzá, shorter than the Egyptian ones but featuring nigh unbelievable architectural progress.
Also, but don't expect any tour to take you there, you can find astoundingly poor mountain villages with indians, now dying of hunger and forgotten to the world. The slum village you seem in the movies can be found almost exactly as pictured in several places of the North, and it is worth mentioning the towns bordering the US aren't considered examples of the best of the country, so don't judge us from those places, ''please''. (No offense to the brothers on the Border) (None taken, after all, it's the legions of brothers who immigrate from the south and the interior who inhabit these slums).

Most of you should know the cheesy "Telenovelas", [[ProfessionalWrestling Lucha Libre]] and masked ''luchadores'' like ElSanto, and perhaps even ElChavoDelOcho and that creepy Santa Claus movie MST3K riffed once. But there has been more stuff that, due to CreatorProvincialism , might never see the light of day outside from Mexico, like lots and lots of old movies and sketch series made between the 40's and 70's. Like the rest of the world, cable and some open air programming material consists heavily of imported American TV and films.

Most newspapers in Mexico are unprofitable but survive thanks to bribes that local city or state governments or the drug cartels pay to keep them quiet on certain inconvenient issues. Only a handful of papers (mostly those who enjoy national distribution or have a very large market) survive on their own. Comics made in Mexico are practically an underground movement. Even the most successful are often unable to reach a true national distribution be it on magazines or newspapers.

Our cuisine is world-renowned for being colorful, intense, spicy, greasy, and fiery hot (on par with Korean or Thai food). We ''absolutely love'' chili peppers: you can find at least 10 varieties at any supermarket, it's present in pretty much every single dish, you can even buy candy made with dried chili, and any Mexican who can't stand them is automatically called a pansy. Most of our traditional dishes are a mix of traditional prehispanic and medieval Spanish food; the ''pozole'', for example, is often made with Mexican corn grains, beans, tomatoes and chili peppers; and Spanish radish, lettuce / cabbage, and beef / pork. There are some exceptions, though: if you roll around the streets, chances are you'll find some stalls in the sidewalks selling ''tacos al pastor'', which can be best described as "Mexican doner kebab", brought to us by a wave of [[UsefulNotes/{{Lebanon}} Lebanese]] immigrants. And of course, we also have our fair share of [[ForeignQueasine weirdo dishes]], such as ''huitlacoche'' (fungus that grows on corn) and ''chapulines'' (fried grasshoppers).

We're cynical, hopeful, hard working and amazingly corrupt and lazy (not a contradiction, somehow: we put all our efforts into finding ways to do less and avoid responsibilities) We're still poor (while living in one of this planet's most resource rich countries) but we don't care; we just keep going on with our lives, and enjoy them. After 70 odd years, we are just starting to get the hang of this thing you call democracy.

Mexicans will carry a grudge only until wallets are opened, and are just as prideful as anyone else about their country. If they make fun of others, rest assured they have developed a level of [[SelfDeprecation self deprecating]] humor WoodyAllen would admire (before knocking himself for it). Mexicans ''love'' to argue politics (but are quite afraid to do it in public or with a raised voice), ranging all over on the political spectrum but most are religiously [[HeteronormativeCrusader conservative]] [[ChristianityIsCatholic Catholics.]]

Mexico's almost as racially diverse as [[UsefulNotes/{{Brazil}} Brazil]] and dance nearly as passionately as [[UsefulNotes/{{Cuba}} Cubans]] but with half the talent, but there's a sizable part of Mexicans who [[strike: positively hate the place to the point of being willing to sell it down the river]] don't like their country (Mostly on the border states and rich-to-middle-class people). Another phenomenon is Malinchismo: a very old and widespread tendency to show any unjustified preference, however slight, for foreign over national stuff.

Mexican humor is diverse but largely formulaic and simplistic. For example shows and stand-up comedians mostly resort to tried and true jokes OlderThanRadio. Comedy may rely on pure slapstick ("El Chavo") or feature social/political comentary (however it's very rare to find this trait on mainstream media), but our stongest and most characteristic type of humor is the famous "albur" (pronounced "al-BOOR") which consist in heavily sexual wordplay and double entendre, basically it's {{Getting Crap Past The Radar}} taken {{Up To Eleven}} since many people in the country already have the double entendres memorized, especially censors. The albur serves as the foremost justification that Mexicans have in believing themselves the most ingenious and good natured nation ever. Since making fun of people based on their race, their gender, or their handicaps isn't considered as politically incorrect as it is in the US or the UK it may seem that Mexican comedy can be [[UnfortunateImplications crass]].

!!Mexican Food, [[DisContinuity certainly not]] Tex-Mex

Our cuisine is world-renowned for being colorful, intense, spicy, greasy, and fiery hot (on par with Korean or Thai food). We ''absolutely love'' chili peppers: you can find at least 10 varieties at any supermarket, it's present in pretty much every single dish, you can even buy candy made with dried chili, and any Mexican who can't stand them is automatically called a pansy. Most of our traditional dishes are a mix of traditional prehispanic and medieval Spanish food; the ''pozole'', for example, is often made with Mexican corn grains, beans, tomatoes and chili peppers; and Spanish radish, lettuce / cabbage, and beef / pork. There are some exceptions, though: if you roll around the streets, chances are you'll find some stalls in the sidewalks selling ''tacos al pastor'', which can be best described as "Mexican doner kebab", brought to us by a wave of [[UsefulNotes/{{Lebanon}} Lebanese]] immigrants. And of course, we also have our fair share of [[ForeignQueasine weirdo dishes]], such as ''huitlacoche'' (fungus that grows on corn) and ''chapulines'' (fried grasshoppers).

And for the record: Taco Bell is not a Mexican company, though the recent opening of a few nearby has caused us great amusement. Their food is certainly ''absolutely not Mexican''. And the taco bell Chihuahua? It was [[EatTheDog considered a culinary delicacy]] by the Aztecs. In general, Tex-Mex food is a blasphemous rip-off of Mexican food and is shunned by every respectable Mexican.

''Useful Tip:'' Do '''NOT''' tell a Mexican guest that you are taking him to a "Mexican Restaurant" unless you are 100% sure it is not actually Tex Mex. Take him anywhere else: Thai, Korean, even American Food (yes, there is such a thing... vaguely) is better on the off chance that the Mexican restaurant is actually Tex Mex. (Then again, globalization probably means it's going to be staffed by Chinese cooks anyway). If you do, the consequences will be dire... amused {{Take That}}s, noting how the food is slightly (or hugely) off. Or feigned indignation, that is if any is registered. Honestly, take out a Mexican to dinner and you likely won't get any complaints: Free Food!

!!On Chicanos

In case you can't tell, we also have a bit of an ongoing sore spot with the "Mexican-ness" of Mexican immigrants to the United States. While we're cut from the same cloth and are, in theory, "on the same side", Mexicans tend to dislike Latinos for being "[[TheQuisling traitors]]" who: left their country (even if forced by necessity), are forsaking their heritage to become like the ever loathed "gringo" (just like Mexicans in Mexico), and in general "aren't mexican" (see Tex Mex food). To be fair, polls usually show a lot of Mexicans willing to leave their country if they had the chance. Chicanos for their part, (particularly those born in the States) tend to view Mexicans as snobby, stuck up, and generally all too proud with very little to be proud ''of'' (in other words, ''[[OurElvesAreBetter elves]]''). Generally, considering that most Mexicans place a high importance on personal relationships in general, this is ignored in families and constitutes one of the reasons why ''remesas'' (money orders) are sent by immigrants to families back home and ties are maintained despite the distance -- to the point that entire towns live exclusively off money sent from abroad, and money orders are Mexico's second largest income after oil imports. Chicanos or "Pochos" in all honesty deserve their own UsefulNotes page, but for now their search for an "identity" that doesn't compromise heritage and nationality is an ongoing issue for them as with other immigrant groups.

Some notable recent examples have been animated films:

* '''Una Película de Huevos''': It's about a talking egg named Toto who wants to become a chick. He escapes from the kitchen along with another egg and [[EverythingsBetterWithBacon a bacon strip]] in search for the farm. They encounter two hungry rats, [[TheStoner Eggs filled with confetti]] and a gang of [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent reptile eggs]]. DoubleEntendere ensues. [[spoiler: "Huevos" is a mexican slang for testicles, also the sentence "de huevos" is equivalent to "the shit", so basically the film's name means both "A Movie About Eggs" and "This Movie is The Shit"]]. Notice however that even fans of the original short films made in Flash animation have derided the movie as a veritable piece of crap.
* '''La Leyenda De La Nahuala''': Tells the story of a cowarldy kid named Leo, a kid living in colonial Puebla, who gets pestered by his brother Nando's ghost stories of the Nahuala, a witch who murdered the pervious inhabitants of a local manor and took their souls in an attempt to obtain ultimate power 52 years ago. Things get out of hand when the incredulous Nando gets caught by the eponymous witch and Leo finds himslef facing his fears in order to rescue him. Kinda NightmareFuel ish.
* '''Nikté''': A young Olmec girl named Nikte pretends to be [[TheChosenOne The celestial princess]] in hopes to live a life of luxury and power. Her plan seems perfect until she is told it is her duty to stop the [[EldritchAbomination unholy mass of all-devouring locusts Tak'nohoch]] before it anihilates civilization or be sacrificed herself. She meets up with the inventive if ditzy "Chaneque" Chin, who helps her in her quest for the one thing that can stop Tak'nohoch as the evil Emperor Kaz from the neighbouring kingdom, wants it for himself. [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar The radar fell asleep with this one]].

Go ahead Google them up if youre curious.

[[TheNapoleon Napoleon]] the Third decided that it needed a French protectorate to stop the growth of influence of the [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates United States]], and believed that Mexico was the perfect place for his plans. Many of the Conservadores actually went to France to arrange this. The crown was offered to Ferdinand Maximilian of the Hapsburg dynasty, younger brother of Emperor Franz Josef of UsefulNotes/{{Austria}}[[hottip:*:(also uncle of ''[[WorldWarOne that]]'' Franz, this family had some rotten luck in the 19th and 20th centuries)]] which made him brother in law of famous Sissy. He wasn't very sure he wanted to accept the crown but his wife Charlotte convinced him. One memorable event in between is when our RagtagBunchOfMisfits, led by Ignacio Zaragoza, beat their awesome croissants in "El Cinco de Mayo", and now we get another holiday out of it (they kind of kicked our tacos around for a few years after that, but shh). This holiday is notable for being probably the sole honest-to-God pride of your country events in the whole history of Mexico, losing the war or not it was simply unbelievable for the French ''or the mexicans themselves'' that this paradise of coups d'etat defeated motherfucking France in a serious battle, sort of that short nerd in your classroom beating to a pulp the tall jock with all the chicks... only to have the whole football team handing his ass later, yeah, but ''still''; "The weapons of Mexico have been covered in glory" indeed.

The second Mexican empire lasted 3 years, until Ferdinand was executed and Charlotte went insane after trying everything to save her kingdom and husband and failed. Many of the Conservadores and soldiers that fought for the empire were also shot due to charges of treason. Mexico just doesn't like [[TheEmpire empires]] much. [[BerserkButton At all.]] Some others, like PsychoForHire Leonardo Márquez, decided it was a really good time to get the hell out of the country, as he lived abroad until the next century. Considering he had an execution pending it was probably a good idea. Many of the Liberales and/or the families of their victims felt there was no God.

The Liberales may have won the Civil War, but many political fights happened inside the victorious party as [[EvilPowerVacuum everybody wanted to be president]]. President Juárez went for reelection, but war hero and budding MagnificentBastard Porfirio Díaz tried to rebel... and failed. Better luck next time! But, as good national heroes always do, Juárez died just in time (in 1872, merely one year after his reelection) to avoid going the way of Santa Ana into Infamy. Mexican "heroes" tend to [[FallenHero end that way]]. ([[DarkKnightTrilogy Harvey Dent]] was right about that). He was succeeded by the next in line for the job, Sebastián Lerdo de Tejada (Sebastián, not Miguel, as both brothers were very important in the Liberal party), then after his time was up he also tried to postulate himself for reelection. Porfirio Dí­az rebelled again... and won, won so hard that he got to rule Mexico for the next 30 years. He first ruled for 4 years or so, then put his compadre Manuel González on the presidency, but his presidency sucked ass and Díaz decided to reelect himself (after all, where did it say people could get reelected in different president terms?). The [[{{Hypocrite}} hypocrisy]] of rebelling against a president for trying to rewrite the constitution to get reelected, then doing so for thirty years himself, was probably not lost on him, as he actually ''exalted'' the character and justified the actions of Juárez, to justify his own by proxy.

Once La Revolución ends, we have some nice, long 70 years of [[strike:dictatorship]] democracy bordering on BananaRepublic under the PRI, founded by the people who won the Revolution. Thing is, while it was a single party system, the presidents only served for six years apiece (originally 4 years, but Lázaro Cárdenas expanded the term), giving the illusion of change. All were corrupt, some were [[VisionaryVillain visionaries]], a few went [[TheCaligula insane]]. The last one that tried to get reelected (some people never learn), Álvaro Obregón, Carranza's bff (who got his arm blown off by Villa himself) was murdered by a Catholic fanatic... so the next one who succeeded him, Plutarco Elías Calles A.K.A. "El Jefe (Máximo de la Revolución)" just decided that [[ManBehindTheMan ruling from the shadows]] was way safer and more profitable, until Cárdenas exiled him.

Much bloodshed happens. Two massacres, the Tlatelolco Massacre and the Jueves de Corpus Massacre were indications that the regime was slowly starting to go to oblivion. On September 19, 1985, Mexico suffered the most devastating earthquake in its history.

This "dictatorship that looks like a democracy" thing starts really fading away in 1994, when Ernesto Zedillo finally eases back on the President's grip over the country (not mentioning his predecessor, Carlos Salinas de Gortari, being one of our most hated presidents due to the financial crisis that ensued because of his actions and winning a very controversial election), and finally ends in 2000, when Vicente Fox wins and the ruling party is replaced.

Due a combination of Mr. Fox and his predecessors ignoring them, poverty, and America's lax weapon laws, and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster High profit of selling drugs]], the [[GangBangers Gangs and Cholos]] became [[TheCartel Organized, resourceful, and very violent]], despite the fact that they were (and still are) in plain sight, recruiting young people because they're led to believe that GangstersAreCool, even gaining control of certain Cities and lots of small towns.
Daily shootings are reported on places like Tijuana and Ciudad Juarez, and most people there can claim to know someone on the Drug's Business, but no one does anything, since it is, for the most part, [[PoliceAreUseless useless]]. To make things worse, denouncing narcos to anyone ''but'' the army is a guarante for [[FateWorseThanDeath a horrible]] [[ColdBloodedTorture fate]] [[CruelAndUnusualDeath for you]] and [[RevengeByProxy your family]] if you are ([[DirtyCop and you will be]]) discovered, or more simply, because being in [[TheCartel "El Negocio"]] (The Business) is not seen as a bad thing. Hell, you can hear songs (narcocorridos, "drug trafficker runs") describing a CruelAndUnusualDeath and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster life of a gangster]] on parties, taxis, karaokes and bars. The drug subculture became Ingrained in lots of states, and many teenagers aspire to enter in [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean the Business world]] or escape from Mexico (legally or [[TheIllegal otherwise]]).

Mexican humor is also very diverse but largely formulaic and simplistic. It may rely on pure slapstick ("El Chavo") or feature social/political comentary (however it's extremely rare to find this on mainstream media), but our stongest and most characteristic type of humor is the famous "albur" (pronounced "al-BOOR") which consist in heavily sexual wordplay and double entendre, basically it's {{Getting Crap Past The Radar}} taken {{Up To Eleven}} since many people in the country already have the double entendres memorized, especially censors. The albur serves as the foremost justification that Mexicans have in believing themselves the most ingenious and good natured nation ever. Because making fun of people based on their race, their gender, or their handicaps isn't considered as politically incorrect as it is in the US or the UK it may seem that Mexican comedy can be [[UnfortunateImplications crass]].

Also, as per Hispanic custom, Mexicans have two family names: the first is the father's one, and the second is the mother's. To their children they only get to pass the father's though but makes things less confusing as is less possible to find people with exactly the same names. Also you can have more than one name... sometimes even three. And sometimes you even get single family names made of multiple family names. Example: former president Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de León (his second family name is Ponce de León, which normally should be the ''two'' family names "Ponce" and "de León").
Another thing about family names, when Mexicans marry the wife doesn't change her name, wife use to sign and be refered as: name(s)+paternal family name +de + parternal family name of the husband. example: Laura Pérez de Guzmán. But is going out of custom and is not legally valid anymore.

Mexico itself has a varied geography (beaches, deserts, [alpine] tundra, forest, rainforest, and ''lots of mountains''), and cities range through industrial boom towns (Monterrey), colonial and historical (Puebla, Morelia), ''BladeRunner''-esque megalopolis (Mexico City), ''all the previous'' plus ''a technological and commercial corridor'' (Guadalajara), luxurious beach resorts (Cancún, Ixtapa, Zihuatanejo, Los Cabos, Manzanillo, Mazatlán, and Puerto Vallarta), and rugged mining cities (Zacatecas, Guanajuato).Interestingly, though, there are only ''four'' major lakes: Chapala, one hour away from Guadalajara, Janitzio and Pátzcuaro, 300 km south from Chapala, and the crater lake Santa Marí­a del Oro in Nayarit.
Also important touristic places include the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight clichéd to mexicans]] but impressing to foreigners Channels of Xochimilco, sort of our version of Venice but with more colorful boats. Oh and the Mayan pyramids such as Chichen Itzá, shorter than the Egyptian ones but featuring nigh unbelievable architectural progress.
Also, but don't expect any tour to take you there, you can find astoundingly poor mountain villages with indians, now dying of hunger and forgotten to the world. The slum village you seem in the movies can be found almost exactly as pictured in several places of the North, and it is worth mentioning the towns bordering the US aren't considered examples of the best of the country, so don't judge us from those places, ''please''. (No offense to the brothers on the Border) (None taken, after all, it's the brothers who immigrate from the interior who inhabit those slums).

!!On Our Media

Most newspapers in Mexico are unprofitable but survive thanks to bribes that local city or state governments or the drug cartels pay to keep them quiet on certain inconvenient issues. Only a handful of papers (mostly those who enjoy national distribution) survive on their own. Comics made in Mexico are practically an underground movement. Even the most successful are unable to reach a true national distribution be it on magazines or newspapers.

After this pop culture kind of skips the next 30 or so years of political infighting until the ''Mexican American War'', at which point Mexicans become [[strike:Orcs]] {{Red Shirt}}s to attack [[strike: [[LordOfTheRings Helms Deep]]]] The Alamo. By the way, don't bring this up in the company of polite Mexicans unless you want to hear an earful about how the US supported Texas' independence only to annex it and use it as a ''casus belli'' once we attacked. Bring it up in the company of impolite Mexicans and, well... let's just say we can hold a grudge for centuries (just ask Spain). Worth noting is how Antonio de Padua Marí­a Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón (try to say that without stopping to breath), mostly known as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna or just Santa Anna, went from Independence hero to eleven times president/dictator to national traitor, first class, due to the loss of the war. It's because of his merry-go-round presidencies that Mexicans, ''to this day,'' distrust re-election on principle.

Problems were far from over as there were two main groups who wanted to have complete influence in the political life of the country. One group were called the [[BlackShirt Conservadores]], who believed that many mechanisms that worked in Colonial Mexico should be maintained. Some also believed the country should be ruled by a European monarch (as they saw the republic system as the worst thing that happened to the country, what with the endless rebellions, coups d'etat, and lame duck governments).

Opposing them were the [[LaResistance Liberals]], who believed the colonial past should be left behind in favor of modernization and decided to take the U.S. as an example of how things should be done. (They felt quite betrayed when their admired big brother invaded and took a good chunk of Mexico's territory). Then president Ignacio Comonfort was not as comfortable as his name suggests. He got a mixed cabinet of both liberals and conservatives and then self-coup d' état'ed. As it turns out, both groups engaged in mature and constructive debate for the betterment of the country via long and nasty war.

Because of the already mentioned conflict the Mexican economy was in the red, so President Benito Juárez decided to suspend the foreign debt until some money could be collected to pay it. This wasn't of the liking of Spain (to whom we owed the most), the British Empire (to whom we owed a little less), and France (to whom we owed the least), so they decided to send ships and soldiers to demand their money. When they arrived in the port of Veracruz, President Juárez arranged a treaty promising that payment would be made... but not at the moment. Britain and Spain decided it was okay after having their ambassadors taken to a particularly underdeveloped area and realizing that we were shitting them not with "no freakin' money" and retired, but France moved inside the country as they planned to invade anyway... ''[[RecycledScript again.]]''

[[TheNapoleon Napoleon]] the Third decided that it needed a French protectorate to stop the growth of influence of the [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates United States]], and believed that Mexico was the perfect place for his plans. Many of the Conservadores actually went to France to arrange this. The crown was offered to Ferdinand Maximilian of the Hapsburg dynasty, younger brother of Emperor Franz Josef of UsefulNotes/{{Austria}}[[hottip:*:(also uncle of ''[[WorldWarOne that]]'' Franz, this family had some rotten luck in the 19th and 20th centuries)]] which made him brother in law of famous Sissy. He wasn't very sure he wanted to accept the crown but his wife Charlotte convinced him. One memorable event in between is when our RagtagBunchOfMisfits, led by Ignacio Zaragoza, beat their awesome croissants in "El Cinco de Mayo", and now we get another holiday out of it (they kind of kicked our tacos around for a few years after that, but shh). This holiday is notable for being one of the honest-to-good be pride of your country events in the whole history of Mexico, losing the war or not it was simply unbelievable for the French ''or the mexicans themselves'' that the paradise of coups d'etat defeated motherfucking France in a serious battle, sort of that short nerd in your classroom beating to a pulp the tall jock with all the chicks... only to have the whole football team handing his ass later, yeah, but ''still''; "The weapons of Mexico have been covered in glory" indeed).

Most newspapers in Mexico are unprofitable but survive thanks to bribes the government or the drug cartels pay to keep them quiet on certain inconvenient issues. Only a handful of papers (mostly those who enjoy national distribution) survive on their own.

Most of you should know our the cheesy "Telenovelas", [[ProfessionalWrestling Lucha Libre]] and masked ''luchadores'' like ElSanto, ElChavoDelOcho and that creepy Santa Claus movie MST3K riffed once. But there has been more stuff that , thanks to CreatorProvincialism , might never see the light of day outside from Mexico, like lots and lots of old movies and sketch series made between the 40's and 70's.

* ElChapulínColorado

* ¡ThreeAmigos!

* BadassBandolier

* '''Una Película de Huevos''': It's about a talking egg named Toto who wants to become a chick. He escapes from the kitchen along with another egg and [[EverythingsBetterWithBacon a bacon strip]] in search for the farm. They encounter two hungry rats, [[TheStoner Eggs filled with confetti]] and a gang of [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent reptile eggs]]. DoubleEntendere ensues. [[spoiler: "Huevos" is a mexican slang for testicles, also the sentence "de huevos" is equivalent to "the shit", so basically the film's name means both "A Movie About Eggs" and "This Movie is The Shit"]]. Notice however that even fans of the original short films made in Flash animation have derided the movie as [[SoBadItsHorrible a veritable piece of crap]].

Many things happened in the Colonial period, but for some reason the next 300 years are mostly ignored until ''"La Independencia!"'' Lots of shooting and fighting, wherein the Spanish rule is kicked out for being TheEmpire. Right after, one of the leaders of the winning group, Agustí­n de Iturbide, arranged for himself to be crowned emperor and ruled... 11 months. After that he was exiled, and executed when he decided to return. After that Guadalupe Victoria became our first presidente. His MeaningfulName and very GenderBlenderName is not an accident, as he picked it himself.

After this pop culture kind of skips the next 30 or so years of political infighting until the ''Mexican American War'', at which point Mexicans become [[strike:Orcs]] {{Red Shirt}}s to attack [[strike: [[LordOfTheRings Helms Deep]]]] The Alamo. By the way, don't bring this up in the company of polite Mexicans unless you want to hear an earful about how the US supported Texas' independence only to annex it and use it as a ''casus belli'' once we attacked. Bring it up in the company of impolite Mexicans and, well... let's just say we can hold a grudge for centuries (just ask Spain). Worth noting is how [[strike: Sauron]] Antonio de Padua Marí­a Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón (try to say that without stopping to breath), mostly known as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna or just Santa Anna, went from Independence hero to eleven times president/dictator to national traitor, first class, due to the loss of the war. It's because of his merry-go-round presidencies that Mexicans, ''to this day,'' distrust re-election on principle.

Depending who you ask things were "relatively" dull under Porfirio Díaz's mostly enlightened [[strike:Evil dictatorship]] "[[PresidentEvil Presidency]]" until 1910 and ''"La Revolución!"'' (For some reason, [[UsefulNotesOnAmerica Americans]] really dig this part of our history. As a Mexican school kid, all I can say is any civil war with more than three factions is a headache to keep track of (not complaining about the holiday, though). This is where you'll see "Bandidos" and outlaws, charismatic rebels like Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata leading the peasants against the centre, small Mexican towns in need of rescue by MightyWhitey, and quite a few [[TheWestern westerns]]... (southerns?)

Put simply, Francisco I. Madero, an idealistic liberal, first wanted to be ''vice''president, but Díaz said "hell no", so Madero decided to start the Revolution. First the higher and middle classes were going to throw Díaz out, but they went lazy and the poors got to do the job, so Villa and Zapata united against Díaz. Madero pacified a [[WretchedHive war happy country]] by [[YouHaveFailedMe making examples]] of his [[TheStarscream traitorous allies]] [[IControlMyMinionsThrough through manipulation]] and [[DisproportionateRetribution bloody handed murder]]... and ''won''. Of course, being a HorribleJudgeOfCharacter and too idealistic for his own good, he [[EasilyForgiven forgave]] just about every ally of Díaz, and [[SarcasmMode was horribly shocked]] when [[TheFarmerAndTheViper they betrayed him]]. After he was assassinated, it was a four way free for all that Venustiano Carranza, governor of Coahuila eventually won... and promptly got assassinated. Rinse and repeat until...

Once La Revolución ends, we have some nice, long 70 years of [[strike:dictatorship]] democracy bordering on BananaRepublic under the PRI, founded by the people who won the Revolution. Thing is, while it was a single party system, the dictator-presidents only served for six years apiece (originally 4 years, but Lázaro Cárdenas expanded the term), giving the illusion of change. All were corrupt, some were [[VisionaryVillain visionaries]], a few went [[TheCaligula insane]]. The last one that tried to get reelected (some people never learn), Álvaro Obregón, Carranza's bff (who got his arm blown off by Villa himself) was murdered by a Catholic fanatic... so the next one who succeeded him, Plutarco Elías Calles A.K.A. "El Jefe (Máximo de la Revolución)" just decided that [[ManBehindTheMan ruling from the shadows]] was way safer and more profitable, until Cárdenas exiled him.

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against [[strike: [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlatelolco_Massacre innocent harmless students ]]]] Marxistz and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored; Leon Trotsky was even assasined here in Mexico. These two massacres, the Tlatelolco Massacre and the Jueves de Corpus Masaacre were indications that the regime was starting to go to oblivion. Enter José López [[strike:Por pillo]] Portillo, A.K.A. "we had 3 devaluations because of him". His buddy Arturo Durazo A.K.A. "El Negro" was the chief of the Mexican police and the ultimate example of corruption (he built himself a Greek-looking mansion in Acapulco out of the people's taxes). Then came Miguel de la Madrid. On September 19, 1985, Mexico suffered the most devastating earthquake in its histroy, so what did the prez did? Of course! Hide in his official residence like any other man! The population obviously got mad as they had to dig the rubble by themselves.

Due a combination of Mr. Fox ignoring them, poverty, and America's lax weapon laws, and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster High profit of selling drugs]], the [[GangBangers Gangs and Cholos]] became [[TheCartel Organized, resourceful, and very violent]], despite the fact that they were (and still are) in plain sight, recruiting young people because they're led to believe that GangstersAreCool, even gaining control of certain Cities and lots of small towns.

Mexico's almost as racially diverse as [[UsefulNotes/{{Brazil}} Brazil]] and dance nearly as passionately as [[UsefulNotes/{{Cuba}} Cubans]] without half the talent, but there's a sizable part of Mexicans who [[strike: positively hate the place to the point of being willing to sell it down the river]] don't like their country (Mostly on the border states and rich-to-middle-class people); They're called "Malinchistas". Note that ''[[ItsAlwaysMardiGrasInNewOrleans Dia de los Muertos]]'' is only supposed to happen once a year, not every time it's convenient.

Mexico itself has a varied geography (beaches, deserts, [alpine] tundra, forest, rainforest, and ''lots of mountains''), and cities range through industrial boom towns (Monterrey), colonial and historical (Puebla, Morelia), ''BladeRunner''-esque megalopolis (Mexico City), ''all the previous'' plus ''a technological and commercial corridor'' (Guadalajara), luxurious beach resorts (Cancún, Ixtapa, Zihuatanejo, Los Cabos, Manzanillo, Mazatlán, and Puerto Vallarta), and rugged mining cities (Zacatecas, Guanajuato).Interestingly, though, there are only ''four'' major lakes: Chapala, one hour away from Guadalajara, Janitzio and Pátzcuaro, 300 km south from Chapala, and the crater lake Santa Marí­a del Oro in Nayarit. The slum village you seem in the movies can be found almost exactly as pictured in several places of the Northwest, and it is worth mentioning the towns bordering the US aren't considered examples of the beast of the country, so dont judge us from those places, ''please''. (No offense to the brothers in the Border).
Also important touristic places include the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight clichéd to mexicans]] but impressing to steangers Channels of Xochimilco, sort of our version of Venice but with more colorful boats. Oh and the [[strike:Aztec]] Mayan pyramids such as Chichen Itzá, shorter than the egyptians but featuring nigh unbelievable architectural progress, such as corners that are lighted only in solstice (like in the movies), statues made to give the impression of a flying serpent's shadow moving as the sun goes down and ''xenotes'' artificial underground water bodies.
Also, but not expect to go there in your tour, you can find astoundingly poor mountain villages with the descendants of the once great old civilizations, now dying of hunger and forgotten to the world, inspired by whom there is a whole literary genre, important too in Central America

Our cuisine is world-renowned for being colorful, intense, spicy, greasy, and fiery hot (on par with Korean or Thai food). We ''absolutely love'' chili peppers: you can find at least 10 varieties at any supermarket, it's present in pretty much every single dish, you can even buy candies made with dried chili, and any Mexican who can't stand them is automatically called a pansy. Most of our traditional dishes are a mix of traditional prehispanic and medieval Spanish food; the ''pozole'', for example, is often made with Mexican corn grains, beans, tomatoes and chili peppers; and Spanish radish, lettuce / cabbage, and beef / pork. There are some exceptions, though: if you roll around the streets, chances are you'll find some stalls in the sidewalks selling ''tacos al pastor'', which can be best described as "Mexican doner kebab", brought to us by a wave of [[UsefulNotes/{{Lebanon}} Lebanese]] immigrants. And of course, we also have our fair share of [[ForeignQueasine weirdo dishes]], such as ''huitlacoche'' (fungus that grows on corn) and ''chapulines'' (fried grasshoppers).

* '''Una Película de Huevos''': It's about a talking egg named Toto who wants to become a chick. He escapes from the kitchen along with another egg and [[EverythingsBetterWithBacon a bacon strip]] in search for the farm. They encounter two hungry [[strike: tlacuaches]] rats, [[TheStoner Eggs filled with confetti]] and a gang of [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent reptile eggs]]. DoubleEntendere ensues. [[spoiler: "Huevos" is a mexican slang for testicles, also the sentence "de huevos" is equivalent to "the shit", so basically the film's name means both "A Movie About Eggs" and "This Movie is The Shit"]]. Notice however that even fans of the original short films made in Flash animation have derided the movie as a veritable piece of crap.

We carry a grudge only until wallets are opened, and are just as prideful as anyone else about their country. If we make fun of others, rest assured we have developed a level of [[SelfDeprecation self deprecating]] humor WoodyAllen would admire (before knocking himself for it). We ''love'' to argue politics, we range all over on the political spectrum but most are religiously [[HeteronormativeCrusader conservative]] [[ChristianityIsCatholic Catholics.]]

Mexican humor is also very diverse. It may rely on pure slapstick ("El Chavo") or feature social/political comentary (we LOVE mocking former presidents, but our stongest and most characteristic type of humor is the famous "albur" (pronounced "al-BOOR") which consist in heavily sexual wordplay and double entendre, basically it's getting crap past the radar taken up to eleven.

We're almost as racially diverse as [[UsefulNotes/{{Brazil}} Brazil]] and dance nearly as passionately as [[UsefulNotes/{{Cuba}} Cubans]], but there's a sizable part of Mexicans who don't like their country (Mostly on the border states and rich people); They're called "Malinchistas". Note that ''[[ItsAlwaysMardiGrasInNewOrleans Dia de los Muertos]]'' is only supposed to happen once a year, not every time it's convenient.

They filmed TheMovie of [[{{Dragonball}} Dragonball Z]] in Mexico City and Durango. Considering [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff how insanely popular]] anime was (and still is) in Mexico, hooray! [[BrokenBase Or Not!]]

Most of you should know our the cheesy "Telenovelas", [[ProfessionalWrestling Lucha Libre]] and masked ''luchadores'' like ElSanto, ElChavoDelOcho and that creepy Santa Claus movie MST3K riffed once. But there has been more stuff that , thanks to CreatorProvincialism , might never see the light of day outside from Mexico, like lots and lots of old movies and skecth series made between the 40's and 70's.

In case you can't tell, we also have a bit of an ongoing sore spot with the "Mexican-ness" of Mexican immigrants to the United States. While we're cut from the same cloth and are, in theory, "on the same side", Mexicans tend to dislike Latinos for being "[[TheQuisling traitors]]" who: left their country, are forsaking their heritage to become like the ever loathed "gringo", and in general "aren't mexican" (see Tex Mex food). Chicanos for their part, (particularly those born in the States) tend to view Mexicans as snobby, stuck up, and generally all too proud with very little to be proud ''of'' (in other words, ''[[OurElvesAreBetter elves]]''). Generally, considering that most Mexicans place a high importance on personal relationships in general, this is ignored in families and constitutes one of the reasons why ''remesas'' (money orders) are sent by immigrants to families back home and ties are maintained despite the distance -- to the point that entire towns live exclusively off money sent from abroad, and money orders are Mexico's second largest income after oil imports. Chicanos or "Pochos" in all honesty deserve their own UsefulNotes page, but for now their search for an "identity" that doesn't compromise heritage and nationality is an ongoing issue for them as with other immigrant groups.

* '''Una Película de Huevos''': It's about a talking egg named Toto who wants to become a chick. He escapes from the kitchen along with another egg and [[EverythingsBetterWithBacon a bacon strip]] in search for the farm. They encounter two hungry [[strike: tlacuaches]] rats, [[TheStoner Eggs filled with confetti]] and a gang of [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent reptile eggs]]. DoubleEntendere ensues. [[spoiler: "Huevos" is a mexican slang for testicles, also the sentence "de huevos" is equivalent to "the shit", so basically the film's name means both "A Movie About Eggs" and "This Movie is The Shit"]]

At some moment in 1838, [[UsefulNotes/{{France}} France]] invades Mexico as payback [[SillyReasonForWar because a baker's shop was destroyed in the fighting]]... among another things. Want to know the name of the war? "The Cake War".

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against [[[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlatelolco_Massacre strike:innocent harmless students students]]]] Marxist and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored; Leon Trotsky was even assasined here in Mexico. These two massacres, the Tlatelolco Massacre and the Jueves de Corpus Masaacre were indications that the regime was starting to go to oblivion. Enter José López [[strike:Por pillo]] Portillo, A.K.A. "we had 3 devaluations because of him". His buddy Arturo Durazo A.K.A. "El Negro" was the chief of the Mexican police and the ultimate example of corruption (he built himself a Greek-looking mansion in Acapulco out of the people's taxes). Then came Miguel de la Madrid. On September 19, 1985, Mexico suffered the most devastating earthquake in its histroy, so what did the prez did? Of course! Hide in his official residence like any other man! The population obviously got mad as they had to dig the rubble by themselves.

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlatelolco_Massacre [[strike:innocent harmless students students]]]] Marxist and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored; Leon Trotsky was even assasined here in Mexico. These two massacres, the Tlatelolco Massacre and the Jueves de Corpus Masaacre were indications that the regime was starting to go to oblivion. Enter José López [[strike:Por pillo]] Portillo, A.K.A. "we had 3 devaluations because of him". His buddy Arturo Durazo A.K.A. "El Negro" was the chief of the Mexican police and the ultimate example of corruption (he built himself a Greek-looking mansion in Acapulco out of the people's taxes). Then came Miguel de la Madrid. On September 19, 1985, Mexico suffered the most devastating earthquake in its histroy, so what did the prez did? Of course! Hide in his official residence like any other man! The population obviously got mad as they had to dig the rubble by themselves.

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlatelolco_Massacre strike:innocent harmless students students]] Marxist and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored; Leon Trotsky was even assasined here in Mexico. These two massacres, the Tlatelolco Massacre and the Jueves de Corpus Masaacre were indications that the regime was starting to go to oblivion. Enter José López [[strike:Por pillo]] Portillo, A.K.A. "we had 3 devaluations because of him". His buddy Arturo Durazo A.K.A. "El Negro" was the chief of the Mexican police and the ultimate example of corruption (he built himself a Greek-looking mansion in Acapulco out of the people's taxes). Then came Miguel de la Madrid. On September 19, 1985, Mexico suffered the most devastating earthquake in its histroy, so what did the prez did? Of course! Hide in his official residence like any other man! The population obviously got mad as they had to dig the rubble by themselves.

Opposing them were the [[LaResistance Liberals]], who believed the colonial past should be left behind in favor of modernization and decided to take the U.S. as an example of how things should be done. (They felt quite betrayed when their admired big brother invaded and took a good chunk of Mexico's territory). As it turns out, both groups engaged in mature and constructive debate for the betterment of the country via long and nasty war.

The Liberales may have won the Civil War, but many political fights happened inside the victorious party as [[EvilPowerVacuum everybody wanted to be president]]. President Juárez went for reelection, but war hero and budding MagnificentBastard Porfirio Díaz tried to rebel... and failed. Better luck next time! But, as good national heroes always do, Juárez died just in time (in 1872, merely one year after his reelection) to avoid going the way of Santa Ana into Infamy. Mexican "heroes" tend to [[FallenHero end that way]]. ([[DarkKnightTrilogy Harvey Dent]] was right about that). He was succeeded by the next in line for the job, Sebastián Lerdo de Tejada (Sebastián, not Miguel, as both brothers were very important in the Liberal party), then after his time was up he also tried to postulate himself for reelection. Porfirio Dí­az rebelled again... and won, won so hard that he got to rule Mexico for the next 30 years. The [[{{Hypocrite}} hypocrisy]] of rebelling against a president for trying to rewrite the constitution to get reelected, then doing so for thirty years himself, was probably not lost on him, as he actually ''exalted'' the character and justified the actions of Juárez, to justify his own by proxy.

Put simply, Francisco I. Madero, an idealistic liberal, united Villa, Zapata and Carranza against Díaz. The guy who pacified a [[WretchedHive war happy country]] by [[YouHaveFailedMe making examples]] of his [[TheStarscream traitorous allies]] [[IControlMyMinionsThrough through manipulation]] and [[DisproportionateRetribution bloody handed murder]]... and ''won''. Of course, being a HorribleJudgeOfCharacter and too idealistic for his own good, he [[EasilyForgiven forgave]] just about every ally of Díaz, and [[SarcasmMode was horribly shocked]] when [[TheFarmerAndTheViper they betrayed him]]. After he was assassinated, it was a four way free for all that Carranza eventually won... and promptly got assassinated. Rinse and repeat until...

Once La Revolución ends, we have some nice, long 70 years of [[strike:democracy]] dictatorship bordering on BananaRepublic under the PRI, founded by the people who won the Revolution. Thing is, while it was a single party system, the dictator-presidents only served for six years apiece (originally 4 years, but Lázaro Cárdenas expanded the term), giving the illusion of change. All were corrupt, some were [[VisionaryVillain visionaries]], a few went [[TheCaligula insane]]. The last one that tried to get reelected (some people never learn) was murdered by a Catholic fanatic... so the next ones who succeeded him just decided that [[ManBehindTheMan ruling from the shadows]] was way safer and more profitable.

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against Marxist and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored; Leon Trotsky was even assasinated here in Mexico.

This "dictatorship that looks like a democracy" thing starts fading away in 1994, when Ernesto Zedillo finally eases back on the President's grip over the country (not mentioning his predecessor, Carlos Salinas de Gortari, being one of our most hated presidents due to the financial crisis that ensued because of his actions), and finally ends in 2000, when Vicente Fox wins and the ruling party is replaced.

Nowadays, we're mostly democratic, and slightly less pessimistic about being doomed to live in a [[CrapsackWorld Crapsack]] [[strike:[[CrapsackWorld World]]]] [[CrapsackWorld Country]]. It's kind of a work in progress, really. Check out MexicanPolitics for more.

Daily shootings are reported on places like Tijuana and Ciudad Juarez, and most people there can claim to know someone on the Drug's Business, but no one does anything, since it's, for the most part, [[PoliceAreUseless useless]], and you are guaranteed [[FateWorseThanDeath a horrible]] [[ColdBloodedTorture fate]] [[CruelAndUnusualDeath for you]] and [[RevengeByProxy your family]] if you are ([[DirtyCop and you will be]]) discovered, or more simply, because being in [[TheCartel "El Negocio"]] (The Business) is not seen as a bad thing. Hell, you can hear songs describing a CruelAndUnusualDeath and the [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster life of a gangster]] on parties, taxis, karaokes and bars. The drug subculture became Ingrained on lots of states, and many Teenagers aspire to enter in [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean the Business world]] or escape from Mexico (legally or [[TheIllegal otherwise]]).
It must be noted, however, that there aren't a lot of consumers in Mexico; The Main profit comes from the American consumers, and that drug cartels use violence within Mexico because the Mexican goverment is against them, and that Mexico fights agaisnt them because America puts pressure against them.

Depending who you ask things were "relatively" dull under Porfirio Díaz's mostly enlightened [[strike:dictatorship]] "[[PresidentEvil Presidency]]" until 1910 and ''"La Revolución!"'' (For some reason, [[UsefulNotesOnAmerica Americans]] really dig this part of our history. As a Mexican school kid, all I can say is any civil war with more than three factions is a headache to keep track of (not complaining about the holiday, though). This is where you'll see "Bandidos" and outlaws, charismatic rebels like Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata leading the peasants against the centre, small Mexican towns in need of rescue by MightyWhitey, and quite a few [[TheWestern westerns]]... (southerns?)

We're cynical, hopeful, hard working and amazingly corrupt and lazy (not a contradiction, somehow: we put all our efforts into finding ways to do less and avoid responsibilities). We're still poor (while living in one of this planet's most resource rich countries) but we don't care; we just keep going on with our lives, and enjoy them. After 70 odd years, we are just starting to get the hang of this thing you call democracy.

We carry a grudge only until wallets are opened, and are just as prideful as anyone else about their country. If we make fun of others, rest assured we have developed a level of [[SelfDeprecation self deprecating]] humor WoodyAllen would admire (before knocking himself for it). We ''love'' to argue politics, we range all over on the political spectrum but most are religiously conservative [[ChristianityIsCatholic Catholics.]]

We're almost as racially diverse as [[UsefulNotes/{{Brazil}} Brazil]] and dance nearly as passionately as [[UsefulNotes/{{Cuba}} Cubans]]. Note that ''[[ItsAlwaysMardiGrasInNewOrleans Dia de los Muertos]]'' is only supposed to happen once a year, not every time it's convenient.

[[TheNapoleon Napoleon]] the Third decided that it needed a French protectorate to stop the growth of influence of the [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates United States]], and believed that Mexico was the perfect place for his plans. Many of the Conservadores actually went to France to arrange this. The crown was offered to Ferdinand Maximilian of the Hapsburg dynasty, younger brother of Emperor Franz Josef of UsefulNotes/{{Austria}}[[hottip:*:(also uncle of ''[[WorldWarOne that]]'' Franz, this family had some rotten luck in the 19th and 20th centuries)]] which made him brother in law of famous Sissy. He wasn't very sure he wanted to accept the crown but his wife Charlotte convinced him. One memorable event in between is when our RagtagBunchOfMisfits, led by Ignacio Zaragoza, beat their awesome croissants in "El Cinco de Mayo", and now we get another holiday out of it (they kind of kicked our tacos around for a few years after that, but shh). This holiday is notable for being one of the honest-to-good be pride of your country events in the whole history of Mexico, losing the war or not it was simply unbelievable for the french ''or the mexicans themselves'' that the paradise of coups d'etat defeated motherfucking France in a serious battle, sort of that short nerd in your classroom beating to a pulp the tall jock with all the chicks... only to have the whole football team handing his ass later, yeah, but ''still''; "The weapons of Mexico have been covered in glory" indeed).

The Liberales may have won the Civil War, but many political fights happened inside the victorious party as [[EvilPowerVacuum everybody wanted to be president]]. President Juárez went for reelection, but war hero and budding MagnificentBastard Porfirio Díaz tried to rebel... and failed. Better luck next time! But, as good national heroes always do, Juárez died just in time (in 1872) to avoid going the way of Santa Ana into Infamy. Mexican "heroes" tend to [[FallenHero end that way]]. ([[DarkKnightTrilogy Harvey Dent]] was right about that). He was succeeded by the next in line for the job, Sebastián Lerdo de Tejada (Sebastián, not Miguel, as both brothers were very important in the Liberal party), then after his time was up he also tried to postulate himself for reelection. Porfirio Dí­az rebelled again... and won, won so hard that he got to rule Mexico for the next 30 years. The [[{{Hypocrite}} hypocrisy]] of rebelling against a president for trying to rewrite the constitution to get reelected, then doing so for thirty years himself, was probably not lost on him, as he actually ''exalted'' the character and justified the actions of Juárez, to justify his own by proxy.

Once La Revolución ends, we have some nice, long 70 years of [[strike:democracy]] dictatorship bordering on BananaRepublic under the PRI. Thing is, while it was a single party system, the dictator-presidents only served for six years apiece, giving the illusion of change. All were corrupt, some were [[VisionaryVillain visionaries]], a few went [[TheCaligula insane]]. The last one that tried to get reelected (some people never learn) was murdered by a Catholic fanatic... so the next ones who succeeded him just decided that [[ManBehindTheMan ruling from the shadows]] was way safer and more profitable.

Much bloodshed happens, and ''"La Guerra Sucia"'' or ''"Dirty War"'' is undertaken against Marxist and Communists on behalf of the US and good old fashioned [[DirtyCommunists Cold War]] [[ProperlyParanoid paranoia]]; anything that isn't far-right is promptly censored. This "dictatorship that looks like a democracy" thing starts fading away in 1994, when Ernesto Zedillo finally eases back on the President's grip over the country, and finally ends in 2000, when Vicente Fox wins and the ruling party is replaced.

We're cynical, hopeful, hard working and amazingly corrupt and lazy (not a contradiction, somehow). We're still poor (while living in one of this planet's most resource rich countries) but we don't care; we just keep going on with our lives, and enjoy them. After 70 odd years, we are just starting to get the hang of this thing you call democracy.

They're filming TheMovie of [[{{Dragonball}} Dragonball Z]] in Mexico City. Considering [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff how insanely popular]] anime was (and still is) in Mexico, hooray! [[BrokenBase Or Not!]]

* '''Una Película de Huevos''': It's about a talking egg named Toto who wants to become a chick. He escapes from the kitchen along with another egg and [[EverythingsBetterWithBacon a bacon strip]] in search for the farm. They encounter two hungry [[strike: tlacuaches]] rats, [[TheStoner Eggs filled with confetti]] and a gang of [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent reptile eggs]]. DoubleEntendere ensues. [[spoiler: "Huevos" is a mexican slang for testicles]]

* '''La Leyenda De La Nahuala''': Tells the story of a cowarldy kid named Leo, a kid living in colonial Puebla, who gets pestered by his brother Nando's ghost stories of the Nahuala, a witch who murdered the pervious inhabitants of a local manor and took their souls in an attemtp to obtain ultimate power 52 years ago. Things get out of hand when the incredulous Nando gets caught by the eponymous witch and Leo finds himslef facing his fears in order to rescue him. Kinda NightmareFuel ish.

* '''Nikté''': A young Olmec girl named Nikte pretends to be [[TheChosenOne The celestial princess]] in hopes to live a life of luxury and power. Her plan seems perfect until she is told it is her duty to stop the [[EldritchAbomination unholy mass of all-devouring locusts Tak'nohoch]] before it anihilates civilization or be sacrificed herself. She meets up with the inventive if ditzy "Chaneque" Chin, who helps her in her quest for the one thing that can stop Tak'nohoch as the evil Emperor Kaz from the neighbouring kingdom, wants it for himself. [[GettingCrapAcrossTheRadar The radar fell asleep with this one]].

* '''Nikté''': A young Olmec girl named Nikte pretends to be [[TheCHosenOne The celestial princess]] in hopes to live a life of luxury and power. Her plan seems perfect until she is told it is her duty to stop the [[EldricthAbomination unholy mass of all-devouring locusts Tak'nohoch]] before it anihilates civilization or be sacrificed herself. She meets up with the inventive if ditzy "Chaneque" Chin, who helps her in her quest for the one thing that can stop Tak'nohoch as the evil Emperor Kaz from the neighbouring kingdom, wants it for himself. [[GettingCrapAcrossTheRadar The radar fell asleep with this one]].

In case you can't tell, we also have a bit of an ongoing sore spot with the "Mexican-ness" of Mexican immigrants to the United States. While we're cut from the same cloth and are, in theory, "on the same side", Mexicans tend to dislike Latinos for being "[[TheQuisling traitors]]" who: left their country, are forsaking their heritage to become like the ever loathed "gringo", and in general "aren't mexican" (see Tex Mex food). Chicanos for their part, (particularly those born in the States) tend to view Mexicans as snobby, stuck up, and generally all too proud with very little to be proud ''of'' (in other words, ''[[OurElvesAreBetter elves]]''), which is pretty ironic considering how much crap they can get from the side they're "defecting" to. Generally, considering that most Mexicans place a high importance on personal relationships in general, this is ignored in families and constitutes one of the reasons why ''remesas'' (money orders) are sent by immigrants to families back home and ties are maintained despite the distance -- to the point that entire towns live exclusively off money sent from abroad, and money orders are Mexico's second largest income after oil imports. Chicanos or "Pochos" in all honesty deserve their own UsefulNotes page, but for now their search for an "identity" that doesn't compromise heritage and nationality is an ongoing issue for them as with other immigrant groups.

Also important touristic places include the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight clichéd to mexicans]] but impressing to steangers Channels of Xochimilco, sort of our version of Venice but with more colorful boats. Oh and the aztec pyramids such as Chichen Itzá, shorter than the egyptians but featuring nigh unbelievable architectural progress, such as corners that are lighted only in solstice (like in the movies), statues made to give the impression of a flying serpent's shadow moving as the sun goes down and ''xenotes'' artificial underground water bodies.