History SelfDemonstrating / CrankyKong

Huh… what is it again? [[Creator/UniversalStudios The film studio]] [[Franchise/JurassicPark who brought back the dinosaurs]] just called me. They said that they bringing a computer-generated Jumpman movie to the big screen, from [[Creator/IlluminationEntertainment those computer guys who did]] [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe the one with little yellow marketable mooks who speak nonsensical jibber-jabber and somehow like bananas]]. Ahem, I'm going to be in it! Let's hope that it's better than Jumpman and his brother's [[Film/SuperMarioBros first venture into Hollywood]]. Up until those [[WesternAnimation/TheAngryBirdsMovie cantankerous]] [[WesternAnimation/TheAngryBirdsMovie2 birds]], [[Film/DetectivePikachu that yellow mouse]], and even that [[Film/SonicTheHedgehog2020 No Hoper]]'s flicks, [[VideoGameMoviesSuck movies based on video games]] were seen as a joke and a tax burnoff.

Huh… what is it again? [[Creator/UniversalStudios The film studio]] [[Franchise/JurassicPark who brought back the dinosaurs]] just called me. They said that they bringing a computer-generated Jumpman movie to the big screen, from [[Creator/IlluminationEntertainment those computer guys who did]] [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe the one with little yellow marketable mooks who speak nonsensical jibber-jabber and somehow like bananas]]. Ahem, I'm going to be in it! Let's hope that it's better than Jumpman and his brother's [[Film/SuperMarioBros first venture into Hollywood]]. Up until those [[WesternAnimation/TheAngryBirdsMovie cantankerous]] [[WesternAnimation/TheAngryBirdsMovie2 birds]], [[Film/DetectivePikachu that yellow mouse]], and even that [[Film/SonicTheHedghog2020 No Hoper]]'s flicks, [[VideoGameMoviesSuck movies based on video games]] were seen as a joke and a tax burnoff.

Huh… what is it again? [[Creator/UniversalStudios The film studio]] [[Franchise/JurassicPark who brought back the dinosaurs]] just called me. They said that they bringing a computer-generated Jumpman movie to the big screen, from [[Creator/IlluminationEntertainment those computer guys who did]] [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe the one with little yellow marketable mooks who speak nonsensical jibber-jabber and somehow like bananas]]. Ahem, I'm going to be in it!

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter those so-called arcade champs of the nineties]] and their [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand]] [[Franchise/Tekken competition]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII the broomhead with the oversized toothpick]] and [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Sephiroth}} his archnemesis, that so-called "One-Winged Angel"]] and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

(''The following article should be best read while listening to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEhcSat-bpw this]] or [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI9siaIp2E4 this]]'')

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter those so-called arcade champs of the nineties]] and their [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand competition]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]],[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII the broomhead with the oversized toothpick]] and [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Sephiroth}} his archnemesis, that so-called "One-Winged Angel"]] and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

''VideoGame/DonkeyKong'' was a hit all over the world -- and all because of me! I was what the kids called "OG" -- Original Gorilla! They made merchandise from my game, and even [[WesternAnimation/SaturdaySupercade a cartoon]] based on it! I had it all! Not only was I on top of that construction site, I was one top of the world! The game itself was an exemplar of the great values of the old days of video gaming, where my rolling barrels, throwing jumping jacks, and…running a pie factory somehow…made the player, who controlled a goofy little character named [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros "Jumpman"]], work and sweat and dump in quarter after quarter to get to the end of each level and the game. Yeah, yeah, he won, I lost. I took my beating like a champ, and was always ready for the next round, with the obstacles a little faster, the timer a little shorter, and the hapless sucker in a near-constant state of dread, hunched over the joystick and the buttons like a -- never mind.

At the same time came [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry1 the first Kremling war]]. Some [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent no-good, slimy, scaly rogue crocodiles]] calling themselves the "Kremlings" invaded our island in the dead of night; they stole everything in my grandson's precious banana horde and beat up his so-called nephew, Diddy Kong. Turns out that DK told Diddy to guard the bananas as a part of his "hero training" and that he would take over at midnight, but that useless lunkhead slept through the whole thing. Of course, he tried to redeem himself the next morning by going out to rescue and team up with his buddy, beat up the bad guys, and get back those yummy yellow treats. Their surfing friend, Funky Kong, as well as DK's girlfriend, Candy Kong all helped to help them reach and save at certain points of the island. I didn't wanna be caught dead in a game like this, but the boys begged me to, so I graciously offered the two advice and hints that were essential for them to progress through the game. Hey, I've been living on that island for decades now and I have extensive knowledge about it! Without it, I reckon those knuckle-dragging numbskulls would be in for a clobbering from those lizards and their leader, King K. Rool.

After DK and Diddy managed to get the bananas back, the boys told me all about their little adventure. I admit they did a good job for their first outing, but it was only because of those fancy 3D graphics and that [[{{Slogan}} "Play It Loud!"]] nonsense that people bought the game in the first place. Of course, those two goons tried to convince me that wasn't the case and that it was "just plain fun", so I made a bet with them to go on an adventure (without the help of me or the other Kongs) on the original Game Boy, the very same handheld console that Nintendo had made a [[UpdatedRerelease remake of me and Jumpman's]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong94 first starring role]] on almost an entire year prior (That's right, I wore the tie long before that big goof ever did). They took on the challenge, I made the arrangements, and even called K. Rool and his men to come and swipe the banana horde again! Much to my surprise, they managed to triumph over him once again.

Some time after all of that, K. Rool showed up again with some cheap knockoff version of Crocodile Isle, which had sunk a little while after the first time the big ape was rescued. [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong64 This time, those gator goons stole DK's banana horde again and their cold-blooded king was planning to blow up our island this time]], not showing any mercy on anyone! Diddy and three other members of the clan were kidnapped (I'm starting to see a pattern here) and held hostage in different portions of the island. Of course, DK had to go out and save them this time because even I know how embarrassing it would be if he wasn't the star of his first self-titled 3D outing. Thankfully they all knocked out K.Rool and saved the island, but they couldn't have pulled it off without the special ability-enhancing potions I brewed up for them, and that Rareware coin I made them earn with that ''VideoGame/{{Jetpac}}'' game! Those sneaky salamanders also had the nerve to steal an old arcade cabinet of my first game that Nintendo was nice enough to trade me for that old ''Killer Instinct'' cabinet back at the Monkey Museum. They had the nerve to repurpose it into their own little mini game for the crew, particulary DK! At least they all got the chance to play a real game for once! Afterwards, I decided to help produce music video for the crew, which I can't believe how popular it managed to become. Later, I then got the idea to hold some auditions for my own game that was going to be released on that [[UsefulNotes/NintendoGameCube Dolphin console]] they were working on at the time, but it was eventually canned because I was just starting to feel my age again, the group that auditioned was just pathetic, and due to other circumstances beyond my control.

Things were admittedly a bit dull but peaceful for me for a while. Rareware had decided to give us all a break after Dixie and Kiddy's last adventure and moved on to working with other characters. They went with [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie some dim country bear and a smart-aleck breegull]] after they took that "dream" from some boy and a pirate. Meanwhile, my grandson finally met my old rival and started participating [[VideoGame/MarioKart64 in]] [[VideoGame/MarioParty his]] [[VideoGame/MarioGolf various]] [[VideoGame/MarioTennis activities]], and [[VideoGame/DiddyKongRacing Diddy had ventured off with the bear to Timber's Island to help out the local residents there]] (though I advised Diddy to not hang around too much with that young squirrel who lived in the island; he seemed playful and innocent, but I sensed a bad aura around him, [[VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay and time prove me right]]). At this time, I had took a page from that has-been K. Rool and started studying science so I could make a potion that could whip me back into shape! And why not? The other arcade stars were making their way into 3D! [[VideoGame/PacManWorld The dot muncher was celebrating his 20th birthday]], Frogger and ''VideoGame/{{QBert}}'' eventually found their way back into the spotlight, and don't even get me started on [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Jumpman]]..

Things were admittedly a bit dull but peaceful for me for a while. Rareware had decided to give us all a break after Dixie and Kiddy's last adventure and moved on to working with other characters. They went with [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie some dim country bear and a smart-aleck breegull]] after they took that "dream" from some boy and a pirate. Meanwhile, my grandson finally met my old rival and started participating [[VideoGame/MarioKart64 in]] [[VideoGame/MarioParty his]] [[VideoGame/MarioGolf various]] [[VideoGame/MarioTennis activities]], and [[VideoGame/DiddyKongRacing Diddy had ventured off with the bear to Timber's Island to help out the local residents there]] (though I advised Diddy to not hang around too much with [[VideoGame/ConkersPocketTales that young squirrel who lived in the island]]; he seemed playful and innocent, but I sensed a bad aura around him, [[VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay and time prove me right]]). At this time, I had took a page from that has-been K. Rool and started studying science so I could make a potion that could whip me back into shape! And why not? The other arcade stars were making their way into 3D! [[VideoGame/PacManWorld The dot muncher was celebrating his 20th birthday]], Frogger and ''VideoGame/{{QBert}}'' eventually found their way back into the spotlight, and don't even get me started on [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Jumpman]]..

Things were admittedly a bit dull but peaceful for me for a while. Rareware had decided to give us all a break after Dixie and Kiddy's last adventure and moved on to working with other characters. They went with [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie some dim country bear and a smart-aleck breegull]] after they took that "dream" from some boy and a pirate. Meanwhile, my grandson finally met my old rival and started participating [[VideoGame/MarioKart64 in]] [[VideoGame/MarioParty his]] [[VideoGame/MarioGolf various]] [[VideoGame/MarioTennis activities]], and [[VideoGame/DiddyKongRacing Diddy had ventured off with the bear to Timber's Island to help out the local residents there]]. At this time, I had took a page from that has-been K. Rool and started studying science so I could make a potion that could whip me back into shape! And why not? The other arcade stars were making their way into 3D! [[VideoGame/PacManWorld The dot muncher was celebrating his 20th birthday]], Frogger and ''VideoGame/{{QBert}}'' eventually found their way back into the spotlight, and don't even get me started on [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Jumpman]]..

* TheCameo: I may not appear in any of the ''Donkey Kong Land'' games, but Wrinkly kept one of my old pictures in her refuge in ''Donkey Kong Land III''.

''(The following article should be best read while listening to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-HgUYjJ4iU this.]])''

Zzz... *snort* Huh--what?! Who started up that blasted music again? Can't an old ape get any peace and quiet around here?!

Hold up -- so you're actually here to learn about ''my'' history now, are ya? Well, it's about time, if I do say so m'self! Right -- where to begin…

Guess I'll start with my name. See here, most people these days know me as Cranky Kong--can't rightly imagine why, though. Thing is, the ape you're looking at was the ''original'' Donkey Kong -- back when all it took was four frames of animation and an infinite supply of barrels to strike ''terror'' into the hearts of game players. Seems like nowadays, if it doesn't have a gun, realistic graphics, sports teams, huge worlds, or a complicated story, people aren't interested. I tell ya, they're missing out on what a real game is and have games like mine to thank for allowing them to have all of that malarkey! Look at my no-good grandson, what with his tie-wearing, his bongo playing, his peg-swinging, banana chompin'…! Ugh.. and to think people either believe he's me during my prime or my son, but that's because those lazy boneheads at {{Creator/Nintendo}} couldn't keep consistency if their whole company depended on it. But to be fair, that big doofus has proven himself to a worthy successor of the name ''Donkey Kong''.

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter those so-called arcade champs of the nineties]] and their [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand competition]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- m'boy, Donkey Kong Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make the inevitable sequel to my first game, they decided to make ''me'' the [[DistressedDude one in distress]] by having that Jumpman character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then… still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first of only two outings. Can you believe it? An educational math game was is his only other starring role. Poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry. [[Main/ChuckCunninghamSyndrome These days, I don't even know where he is]]. Last time I saw him was in [[VideoGame/MarioTennis a tennis competition]].

Guess I'll start with my name. See here, most people these days know me as Cranky Kong--can't rightly imagine why, though. Thing is, the ape you're looking at was the ''original'' Donkey Kong -- back when all it took was four frames of animation and an infinite supply of barrels to strike ''terror'' into the hearts of game players. Seems like nowadays, if it doesn't have a gun, realistic graphics, sports teams, huge worlds, or a complicated story, people aren't interested. I tell ya, they're missing out on what a real game is and have games like mine to thank for allowing them to have all of that malarkey! Look at my no-good grandson (people either think he's me during my prime, or think he's my son, but that's because those lazy boneheads at {{Creator/Nintendo}} couldn't keep consistency if their whole company depended on it), what with his tie-wearing, his bongo playing, his peg-swinging…!

Sorry, sorry--lost my head there for a second. Let me start over from the beginning.

''VideoGame/DonkeyKong'' was a hit all over the world -- and all because of me! I was what the kids called "OG" -- Original Gorilla! They made merchandise from my game, and even [[WesternAnimation/SaturdaySupercade a cartoon]] based on it! I had it all! I was one top of the world! I.. I... lost myself again, sorry.

The game itself was an exemplar of the great values of the old days of video gaming, where my rolling barrels, throwing jumping jacks, and…running a pie factory somehow…made the player, who controlled a goofy little character named [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros "Jumpman"]], work and sweat and dump in quarter after quarter to get to the end of each level and the game. Yeah, yeah, he won, I lost. I took my beating like a champ, and was always ready for the next round, with the obstacles a little faster, the timer a little shorter, and the hapless sucker in a near-constant state of dread, hunched over the joystick and the buttons like a -- never mind.

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- m'boy, Donkey Kong Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make the inevitable sequel to my first game, they decided to make ''me'' the [[DistressedDude one in distress]] by having that Jumpman character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then… still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry. [[Main/ChuckCunninghamSyndrome These days, I don't even know where he is]]. Last time I saw him was in [[VideoGame/SuperMarioKart Jumpman's first foray in racing]] and a cameo of in the Gameboy remake of our first clash.

Meanwhile, after video games started to resurge in popularity, Jumpman managed to star in his own series of titles for a [[UsefulNotes/NintendoEntertainmentSystem home console of Nintendo's]] and somehow managed to become the face of, not just Nintendo, but video games as a whole. Even to this day, I just can't believe it! I was the one who got the top billing of our debut and somehow he's the one to rise to the top! My old arcade hits were ported on there too, but they didn't look as vibrant and my first game even had a whole level taken out of it! No respect at all! Argh, if I were 40 years younger..! Oops.. Lost it again.

At the same time came [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry1 the first Kremling war]]. Some [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent no-good, slimy, scaly rogue crocodiles]] calling themselves the "Kremlings" invaded our island in the dead of night; they stole everything in my grandson's precious banana horde and beat up his so-called nephew, Diddy Kong. Turns out that DK told Diddy to guard the bananas as a part of his "hero training" and that he would take over at midnight, but that useless lunkhead slept through the whole thing. Of course, he tried to redeem himself the next morning by going out to rescue and team up with his buddy, beat up the bad guys, and get back those yummy yellow treats. Their surfing friend, Funky Kong, as well as DK's girlfriend, Candy Kong all helped to help them reach and save at certain points of the island. I didn't wanna be caught dead in a game like this, but the boys begged me to, so I graciously offered the two advice and hints that were essential for them to progress through the game. Without it, I reckon they'd be in for a clobbering from those lizards and their leader, King K. Rool.

After DK and Diddy managed to get the bananas back, the boys told me all about their little adventure. I admit they did a good job for their first outing, but it was only because of those fancy 3D graphics and that [[{{Slogan}} "Play It Loud!"]] nonsense that people bought the game in the first place. Of course, those two goons tried to convince me that wasn't the case and that it was "just plain fun", so I made a bet with them to go on an adventure (without the help of me or the other Kongs) on the original Game Boy, the very same handheld console that Nintendo had made a [[UpdatedRerelease remake of me and Jumpman's]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong94 first starring role]] on almost an entire year prior (That's right, I wore the tie long before that numbskull ever did). They took on the challenge, I made the arrangements, and even called K. Rool and his men to come and swipe the banana horde again! Much to my surprise, they managed to triumph over him once again.

After the little chimps rescued that big knuckleheaded grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to the North Kremisphere for some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school, moved into some nice caves, started to work out even more, and decided to get a UsefulNotes/Nintendo64 for some reason. I didn't really approve of it, but that didn't stop me from playing it every once in a while to test out these 3D graphics everyone was raving about. DK and Diddy would just show how lazy they could be by just drinking banana milkshakes all day and sleeping on hammocks. Me? I decided to open a dojo, as it was time for me to get out more and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so could I! I also went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky's new amusement park. Apparently, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry3DixieKongsDoubleTrouble DK and Diddy managed to get kidnapped by K. Rool, now a mad scientist, and the local Kremlings]]. Now Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy Kong had to rescue them along with bringing all of those banana birds back to their mother, the Queen Banana Bird. Those same birds are where the island's bananas originate from and because of the energy found in those bananas, it explains what those gator goons want with them. Pah! And I thought the second game was unnesscary, what an adventure that was. Though I did have some fun, as I graciously deigned to let the two useless wimps challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky's place.

Some time after all of that, K. Rool showed up again with some cheap knockoff version of Crocodile Isle, which had sunk a little while after the first time the big ape was rescued. [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong64 This time, K. Rool stole DK's banana horde again and was planning to blow up our island]], not showing any mercy on anyone! Diddy and three other members of the clan were kidnapped and held hostage in different portions of the island and DK had to go out and saved them. Thankfully they all knockedout K.Rool and save the island, but they couldn't have pulled it off without the special ability-enhancing potions I brewed up for them, and that Rareware coin I made them earn with that ''VideoGame/{{Jetpac}}'' game! Those sneaky salamanders also had the nerve to steal an old arcade cabinet of my first game that Nintendo was nice enough to trade me for that old ''Killer Instinct'' cabinet back at the Monkey Museum. They had the nerve to repurpose it into their own little mini game for the crew, particulary DK! At least they all got the chance to play a real game for once! Afterwards, I decided to hold some auditions for my own game that was going to be released on that [[UsefulNotes/NintendoGameCube Dolphin console]] they were working on at the time, but it was eventually canned because I was just starting to feel my age again, the group that auditioned was just pathetic, and due to other circumstances beyond my control.

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter that so-called arcade champ of the nineties and his sparring partner]] as well as their [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand competition who call himself ”The Legendary Wolf” when he arrives]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

Wait! Wha.. Wussat? They got K.Rool in Smash?! Ah ha ha! I've been itching to get my mitts on him! And somehow against all odds, [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie that dopey bear and that snarky bird]] got in Smash as well! Eventually, I'll bring some real action and show them all who's the real champ, just you wait and see![[note]] *reads the opening script to the ''World of Light'' adventure mode* Wait a banana peelin' minute! They start off by ripping off that [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar summer movie]] and kill off everyone but [[Franchise/{{Kirby}} the puffball]] and they become ghosts that possess bodies?! And I'm one of those casualities?! This ain't the way I want to reunite with my wife. Hey puffball, find my grandson and his nephew and pound that speck of light NOW![[/note]]
In the meantime, maybe I can discuss with [[VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising the winged bodyguard,]] [[VideoGame/MegaManClassic the windup toy,]] and [[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} that vampire hunter]] why we were all chosen for [[WesternAnimation/CaptainNTheGameMaster that cheap cartoon from the late '80s that got everything wrong about us]]. At least [[WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry that cartoon from the late '90s with the Crystal Coconut was slightly more accurate]]! [[note]] The windup up toy did had [[WesternAnimation/MegaMan his]] [[Anime/MegaManUponAStar own]] [[Anime/MegaManNTWarrior set]] [[VideoGame/MegaManStarForce of]] [[WesternAnimation/MegaManFullyCharged cartoons]], but the [[WesternAnimation/{{Castlevania}} cartoon about the vampire hunter's great-grandparents]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids ain't kid-friendly at all]] what with the excessive violence and [[ClusterFBomb crusty sailor mouths]] that would make that the kutthroats on the Gangplank Galleon shiver their timbers. And now they've engaged in hanky-panky.[[/note]]


Now, I'm not in the mood to divulge any further on my past right now, so the rest of my tale will have to wait another day. Let's just get these tropes over and done with, alright?

''(The following article should be best read while listening to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkNpz6FTIEs this.]])''

In the meantime, maybe I can discuss with [[VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising the winged bodyguard,]] [[VideoGame/MegaManClassic the windup toy,]] and [[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} that vampire hunter]] why we were all chosen for [[WesternAnimation/CaptainNTheGameMaster that cheap cartoon from the late '80s that got everything wrong about us]]. At least [[WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry that cartoon from the late '90s with the Crystal Coconut was slightly more accurate]]! [[note]] The windup up toy did had [[WesternAnimation/MegaMan his]] [[Anime/MegaManUponAStar own]] [[Anime/MegaManNTWarrior set]] [[VideoGame/MegaManStarForce of]] [[WesternAnimation/MegaManFullyCharged cartoons]], but the [[WesternAnimation/{{Castlevania}} cartoon about the vampire hunter's great-grandparents]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids ain't kid-friendly at all]] what with the excessive violence and [[ClusterFBomb crusty sailor mouths]] that would make that the kutthroats on the Gangplank Galleon shiver their timbers.[[/note]]

Wait! Wha.. Wussat? They got K.Rool in Smash?! Ah ha ha! I've been itching to get my mitts on him! And somehow against all odds, [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie that dopey bear and that snarky bird]] got in Smash as well! Eventually, I'll bring some real action and show them all who's the real champ, just you wait and see![[note]] *reads the opening script to the ''World of Light'' adventure mode* Wait a banana peelin' minute! They start off by ripping off that [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar summer movie]] and kill off everyone but the puffball and they become ghosts that possess bodies?! And I'm one of those casualities?! This ain't the way I want to reunite with my wife. Hey Puffball, find my grandson and his nephew and pound that speck of light NOW![[/note]]
In the meantime, maybe I can discuss with the winged bodyguard, the windup toy, and [[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} that vampire hunter]] why we were all chosen for [[WesternAnimation/CaptainNTheGameMaster that cheap cartoon from the late '80s that got everything wrong about us]]. At least [[WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry that cartoon from the late '90s with the Crystal Coconut was slightly more accurate]]! [[note]] The windup up toy did had [[WesternAnimation/MegaMan his]] [[Anime/MegaManUponAStar own]] [[Anime/MegaManNTWarrior set]] [[VideoGame/MegaManStarForce of]] [[WesternAnimation/MegaManFullyCharged cartoons]], but the [[WesternAnimation/{{Castlevania}} cartoon about the vampire hunter's great-grandparents]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids ain't kid-friendly at all]] what with the excessive violence and [[ClusterFBomb crusty sailor mouths]] that would make that the kutthroats on the Gangplank Galleon shiver their timbers.[[/note]]

Things were admittedly a bit dull but peaceful for me for a while. My grandson finally met my old rival and started participating [[VideoGame/MarioKart64 in]] [[VideoGame/MarioParty his]] [[VideoGame/MarioGolf various]] [[VideoGame/MarioTennis activities]], and [[VideoGame/DiddyKongRacing Diddy had ventured off to Timber's Island to help out the local residents there]]. At this time, I had took a page from that has-been K. Rool and started studying science so I could make a potion that could whip me back into shape! And why not? The other arcade stars were making their way into 3D! [[VideoGame/PacManWorld The dot muncher was celebrating his 20th birthday]], Frogger and ''VideoGame/{{QBert}}'' eventually found their way back into the spotlight, and don't even get me started on [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Jumpman]]..

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter that so-called arcade champ of the nineties and his sparring partner]] as well as the [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand competition who call himself ”The Legendary Wolf” when he arrives]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter that so-called arcade champ of the nineties and his sparring partner]] as well as the [[VideoGame/FatalFury offbrand competition when he arrives]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter that so-called arcade champ of the nineties and his sparring partner]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!

Years later, some company called [[Creator/{{Rare}} Rareware]], previously known for making games about a bunch of [[VideoGame/{{Battletoads}} mucus-lobbing slime-jackets]] and [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct pre-rendered button-mashers]], decided to work with Nintendo for a while. They needed one last hurrah for that [[UsefulNotes/SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem "Super" Nintendo]] of theirs after [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog some speedy blue pincushion]] gave them a run for their money. They wanted to bring me back into the spotlight by shoving those 3D graphics of theirs onto me, but then they thought I was just too old. Bahh, I didn't need all of that anyway, I had made a name for myself back in the early arcade days. This didn't stop them from using Junior's son as the game's main focus, and they even had the nerve to give him an old tie I used to wear. [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry That happens to be the Donkey Kong]] [[LegacyCharacter that you people are more familiar with today]], and he has ''me'' to thank for allowing him to have that honor.

* BadassGrandpa: I may be old, but I still got a lot of fight left in me!

* CoolOldGuy: Oh, you flatter me.

Wait! Wha.. Wussat? They got K.Rool in Smash?! Ah ha ha! I've been itching to get my mitts on him! And somehow against all odds, [VideoGame/BanjoKazooie that dopey bear and that snarky bird] got in Smash as well! Eventually, I'll bring some real action and show them all who's the real champ, just you wait and see![[note]] *reads the opening script to the ''World of Light'' adventure mode* Wait a banana peelin' minute! They start off by ripping off that [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar summer movie]] and kill off everyone but the puffball and they become ghosts that possess bodies?! And I'm one of those casualities?! This ain't the way I want to reunite with my wife. Hey Puffball, find my grandson and his nephew and pound that speck of light NOW![[/note]]

Wait! Wha.. Wussat? They got K.Rool in Smash?! Ah ha ha! I've been itching to get my mitts on him! Eventually, I'll bring some real action and show them all who's the real champ, just you wait and see![[note]] *reads the opening script to the ''World of Light'' adventure mode* Wait a banana peelin' minute! They start off by ripping off that [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar summer movie]] and kill off everyone but the puffball and they become ghosts that possess bodies?! And I'm one of those casualities?! This ain't the way I want to reunite with my wife. Hey Puffball, find my grandson and his nephew and pound that speck of light NOW![[/note]]

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- m'boy, Donkey Kong Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make the inevitable sequel to my first game, they decided to make ''me'' the [[DistressedDude one in distress]] by having that Jumpman character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then… still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry. [[Main/ChuckCunninghamSyndrome These days, I don't even know where he is]].

I've made several cameos in those ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]]'' games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that "nephew" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother and [[VideoGame/{{Wario}} that knockoff who should lay off the garlic]]. Not to mention, [[VideoGame/YoshisIsland that long-tongued newt]], [[VideoGame/KidIcarus that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers]], [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda those pointy-eared twerps]], [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that sparky yellow varmint, along with]] [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Mewtwo}} that psychokinetic sideshow]], [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog that no hoper who didn't even bother]] [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest collecting my Hero Coins]], [[Franchise/StreetFighter that so-called arcade champ of the nineties and his sparring partner]], [[Franchise/MegaMan that little windup toy]], and even [[VideoGame/PacMan ol' dot muncher himself]]! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got to [[VideoGame/FZero that loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot]]. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!