History SelfDemonstrating / CrankyKong

''(The following article should be best read while listening to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51j8oRTOH6Q this]].)''

Of course, the stupid young lug didn't learn, and wound up [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest getting himself kidnapped by K.Rool]]. Luckily for him, Diddy Kong and that girlfriend of his decided to chase the Kremlings back to Crocodile Isle and get the great oaf back. I decided to see how good they were, and challenged them to recover a series of golden Kremcoins that I hid all over the island. Lucky for the little snots that my wife had set up her school here, on Crocodile Isle, and the soft-hearted old thing was willing to help save their game. She even went and offered tips for them -- that was supposed to be my job! ...Then again, she was smart enough to charge them coins for it. Wish I'd been that smart... never you mind!

I made several cameos in those [[Videogame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]] games. I even appeared in the 3rd and 4th games as my younger self in the 75m stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of Mario, my grandson, [[Videogame/{{Kirby}} that walking marshmallow]], [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog that blue upstart]], and [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that yellow varmint]]. I'll bring some real action next time 'round, just you see!

* ThisCannotBe: I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw those youngins get over 2000 points on my Jet Pack game.

I made several cameos in those [[Videogame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros.]] games. I even appeared in the 3rd and 4th games as my younger self in the 75m stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of Mario, my grandson, [[Videogame/{{Kirby}} that walking marshmallow]] and [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that yellow varmint]]. I'll bring some real action next time 'round, just you see!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz--Snort! Sputter! Wh-who is it?!

It all began at the turn of the decade -- the beginning of TheEighties, where the arcade was alive and thriving! ''VideoGame/PacMan'' was gorging himself on ghosts, dots, and cherries, the ''VideoGame/SpaceInvaders'' were upsetting the availability of Japanese yen, and ''Radar Scope'' was crashing and burning. What's ''Radar Scope'', you ask? Let's just say it was the latest in Creator/{{Nintendo}}'s attempts to break into the North American market. Desperate, the late Hiroshi Yamauchi asked Creator/ShigeruMiyamoto, who had been working at the company for just a few years back then, to design a game that the unsold ''Radar Scope'' units can be converted into. Among other things, what the company needs is their own cast of characters after attempts to secure the ''ComicStrip/{{Popeye}}'' license fell through. And this is where I came in!

I was envisioned by Miyamoto as an antagonist that's "nothing too evil or repulsive", so I ended up in the form of an ape. EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys, [[OrSoIHeard or so I'm told]]. But why do I have the name of Donkey Kong? [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Monkeys aren't donkeys]], after all. Well, the truth is, Miyamoto wanted a name that gave off the "stupid ape" vibe, hence the appellation. Finally, Miyamoto used my name as the game's title, since he felt I was the strongest character of the game. As I should be!

''VideoGame/DonkeyKong'', the game, was a huge smash hit -- well, what would you expect from a game that had me in it? It was an exemplar of the great values of the old days of video gaming, where my rolling barrels and other hazards made the player, in the form of [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros some goofy fellow called "Mario"]], work and sweat to get to the end of each level.

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- my boy, Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongJr the inevitable sequel to my first game]], they decided to make ''me'' the DistressedDude by having that Mario character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then... still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry.

Of course, the stupid young lug didn't learn, and wound up [[DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest getting himself kidnapped by K.Rool]]. Luckily for him, Diddy Kong and that girlfriend of his decided to chase the Kremlings back to Crocodile Isle and get the great oaf back. I decided to see how good they were, and challenged them to recover a series of golden Kremcoins that I hid all over the island. Lucky for the little snots that my wife had set up her school here, on Crocodile Isle, and the soft-hearted old thing was willing to help save their game. She even went and offered tips for them -- that was supposed to be my job! ...Then again, she was smart enough to charge them coins for it. Wish I'd been that smart... never you mind!

After the little kids rescued that big kid grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to the North Kremisphere for some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school and moved into some nice caves. Me? I decided it was time to get out some and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so can I! I went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky Kong's new amusement park. Apparently, [[DonkeyKongCountry3DixieKongsDoubleTrouble DK and Diddy got kidnapped by the local Kremlings]], so Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy had to rescue them. Pah! What useless wimps. Still, I graciously deigned to let the two of them challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky Kong's place.

Eventually, [[DonkeyKongCountryReturns some living instruments hypnotized the animals and stole my dumb grandson's bananas again.]] Him and his little buddy did some platforming stuff, while I converted my house into a shop and attached balloons to my house to fly to the new worlds and offer useful items. [[NoHeroDiscount For a modest fee, of course.]] [[DonkeyKongCountryTropicalFreeze Then some blasted Arctic hooligans kicked us out of our home.]] [[RetiredBadass It was time I showed those horned whippersnappers a thing or two about invading an old ape's island]].

I made several cameos in those [[Videogame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros]] games. I even appeared in the 3rd and 4th games as my younger self in the 75m stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of Mario, my grandson, [[Videogame/{{Kirby}} that walking marshmallow]] and [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that yellow varmint]]. Sakurai, you better put me in as a playable character in the next game dagnabit!

* AbnormalAmmo: Throwing dentures sure have bite to it.

* CaneFu: You better believe it!

* DeadpanSnarker: OH '''REALLY''' ? I can't imagine why.
* [[DemotedToExtra Demoted To Minigame]]: I played Swanky's Sideshow against those twerps Dixie and Kiddie in Donkey Kong Country 3.
* GrumpyOldMan: Who you calling "grumpy" you disrespectful hooligans?!

* HintSystem: In Donkey Kong Country I'd give my [[LegacyCharacter no good grandson]] some advice as to how to get extra lives and discover some secrets.
* MadScientist: I was concocting potions in Donkey Kong 64! Wait, who you calling mad! We used to respect our elders back in my day!
* MightyGlacier: When I help my grandson out in ''DonkeyKongCountryTropicalFreeze'', rather than focusing on movement, I bring extra attacks in.
* NostalgiaFilter: You whippersnappers don't know how good we had it back in my day! Our video game controllers weren't battery powered -- they were plugged into the game consoles via wires. And we liked it that way! Also, [[VideoGameTutorial we didn't need the game to explain to us how it worked]]. [[ReadTheFreakingManual That's what instruction manuals are for!]]

* ThisCannotBe: I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw those youngin's get over 2000 points on my Jet Pack game.

I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long, but I'm getting tired. I gotta take a nap.

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- my boy, Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make [[DonkeyKongJr the inevitable sequel to my first game]], they decided to make ''me'' the DistressedDude by having that Mario character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then... still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry.

Yes, there was a [[DonkeyKong3 third game]] I took my shot at. No, I don't want to talk about it!

I made several cameos in those [[Videogame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros]] games. I even appeared in the 3rd and 4th games as my younger self in the 75m stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of Mario, my grandson, [[Videogame/{{Kirby}} that walking marshmallow]] and [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} that yellow varmint]].

Now, I'm not in the mood to divulge any further on my past right now, so the rest of my tale will have to wait for another day. Let's just get these tropes over and done with, alright?

I made several cameos in those [[Videogame/SuperSmashBros Smash Bros]]games. I even appeared in the 3rd and 4th games as my younger self in the 75m stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of Mario, my grandson, [[Videogame/Kirby that walking marshmallow]] and [[Franchise/Pokemon that yeller varmint]].

Eventually, [[DonkeyKongCountryReturns some living instruments hypnotized the animals and stole my dumb grandson's bananas again.]] Him and his little buddy did some platforming stuff, while I converted my house into a shop and attached balloons to my house to fly to the new worlds and offer useful items. [[NoHeroDiscount For a modest fee, of course.]] [[DonkeyKongCountryTropicalFreeze Then some blasted Arctic hooligan kicked us out of our home.]] [[RetiredBadass It was time I showed those horned whippersnappers a thing or two about invading an old ape's house]].

Eventually, [[DonkeyKongCountryReturns some living instruments hypnotized the animals and stole my dumb grandson's bananas again.]] Him and his little buddy did some platforming stuff, while I converted my house into a shop and attached balloons to my house to fly to the new worlds and offer useful items. [[NoHeroDiscount For a modest fee, of course.]]

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- my boy, Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongJr the inevitable sequel to my first game]], they decided to make ''me'' the DistressedDude by having that Mario character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then... still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry.

Yes, there was a [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong3 third game]] I took my shot at. No, I don't want to talk about it!

Of course, the stupid young lug didn't learn, and wound up [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest getting himself kidnapped by K.Rool]]. Luckily for him, Diddy Kong and that girlfriend of his decided to chase the Kremlings back to Crocodile Isle and get the great oaf back. I decided to see how good they were, and challenged them to recover a series of golden Kremcoins that I hid all over the island. Lucky for the little snots that my wife had set up her school here, on Crocodile Isle, and the soft-hearted old thing was willing to help save their game. She even went and offered tips for them -- that was supposed to be my job! ...Then again, she was smart enough to charge them coins for it. Wish I'd been that smart... never you mind!

After the little kids rescued that big kid grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to the North Kremisphere for some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school and moved into some nice caves. Me? I decided it was time to get out some and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so can I! I went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky Kong's new amusement park. Apparently, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry3DixieKongsDoubleTrouble DK and Diddy got kidnapped by the local Kremlings]], so Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy had to rescue them. Pah! What useless wimps. Still, I graciously deigned to let the two of them challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky Kong's place.

* GrumpyOldMan

* MadScientist: I was concocting potions in Donkey Kong 64! Wait, who you calling mad! We used to respect our eldeers back in my day!

* RetiredBadass: You youngin's probably don't know this, but I was the original Donkey Kong in the arcade games.

After the little kids rescued that big kid grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to the North Kremisphere for some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school and moved into some nice caves. Me? I decided it was time to get out some and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so can I! I went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky Kong's new amusement park. Apparently, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry3DixieKongsDoubleTrouble Donkey and Diddy got kidnapped by the local Kremlings]], so Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy had to rescue them. Pah! What useless wimps. Still, I graciously deigned to let the two of them challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky Kong's place.

After the little kids rescued that big kid grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to the North Kremisphere for some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school and moved into some nice caves. Me? I decided it was time to get out some and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so can I! I went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky Kong's new amusement park. Apparently, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry3DixieKongsDoubleTrouble Donkey and Diddie got kidnapped by the local Kremlings]], so Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy had to rescue them. Pah! What useless wimps. Still, I graciously deigned to let the two of them challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky Kong's place.

Some time after that, K.Rool showed up again, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong64 this time planning to blow up our island]]! My grandson, Diddie and three others of the clan went out and saved us -- but they couldn't have pulled it off without the special ability-enhancing potions I brewed up for them!

* RetiredBadass: You youngin's probably don't know this, but I was the original Donkey Kong in the arcade games.

After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son -- my boy, Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong2 the inevitable sequel to my first game]], they decided to make ''me'' the DistressedDude by having that Mario character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then... still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first and only ever outing -- poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry.

* DeadpanSnarker: OH '''REALLY''' ? I can´t imagine why.

I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long, but I'm getting tired. I gotta take me a nap!

Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. You aren't raised in a barn!

It all began at the turn of the decade -- the beginning of TheEighties, where the arcade was alive and thriving! ''VideoGame/PacMan'' was gorging himself on ghosts, dots, and cherries, the ''VideoGame/SpaceInvaders'' were upsetting the availability of Japanese yen, and ''Radar Scope'' was crashing and burning. What's ''Radar Scope'', you ask? Let's just say it was the latest in Creator/{{Nintendo}}'s attempts to break into the North American market. Desperate, the late Creator/HiroshiYamauchi asked Creator/ShigeruMiyamoto, who had been working at the company for just a few years back then, to design a game that the unsold ''Radar Scope'' units can be converted into. Among other things, what the company needs is their own cast of characters after attempts to secure the ''ComicStrip/{{Popeye}}'' license fell through. And this is where I came in!

It all began at the turn of the decade -- the beginning of TheEighties, where the arcade was alive and thriving! ''VideoGame/Pac-Man'' was gorging himself on ghosts, dots, and cherries, the ''VideoGame/SpaceInvaders'' were upsetting the availability of Japanese yen, and ''Radar Scope'' was crashing and burning. What's ''Radar Scope'', you ask? Let's just say it was the latest in Creator/{{Nintendo}}'s attempts to break into the North American market. Desperate, the late Creator/HiroshiYamauchi asked Creator/ShigeruMiyamoto, who had been working at the company for just a few years back then, to design a game that the unsold ''Radar Scope'' units can be converted into. Among other things, what the company needs is their own cast of characters after attempts to secure the ''ComicStrip/{{Popeye}}'' license fell through. And this is where I came in!

* BadassGrampa: I may be old, but I still got a lot of fight left in me!