History Recap / TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFive

[[folder:Action 52]]

[[folder:Cheetahmen]]

[[folder:Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link]]

[[folder:Back to the Future Revisited]]

[[folder:Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Revisited]]

[[folder:Lester the Unlikely]]

[[folder:Day Dreamin Davey (NES)]]

[[folder:Star Wars Games]]

[[folder:''Street Fighter 2010'']]
[--Featured games: Street Fighter 2010 (NES), Fighting Street (TGCD), Street Fighter the Movie the Game (Sat)--]\\

At the dawn of 2010, the Nerd goes to retrieve his mail, only to find his neighborhood infested with strange enemies, which the Nerd recognizes from one game in his collection: ''Street Fighter 2010''. Released before ''Street Fighter II'', the Nerd is ecstatic at the possibilities of a ''Street Fighter'' game featuring the cast of the series fighting each other in a sci-fi setting.

In actuality, however, the gameplay is divorced from anything resembling Street Fighter, or even any other ''fighting game'': it is an action platformer, more like a cross of ''Mega Man'' 's shooting and ''Ninja Gaiden'' 's platforming, where players control Ken in a high-tech cybersuit fighting off bizarre enemies to draw out the level's target monster. Ken's basic weapon has a fairly short range, and the controls are not the most intuitive: the only way to shoot down is while performing an aerial somersault, and aiming diagonally is accomplished by pressing ''down'' on the D-pad, to the Nerd's chagrin.

The Nerd is perplexed by how this game could possibly tie into the ''Street Fighter'' storyline. According to the in-game intro text, Ken retired from street fighting to become a scientist, when his partner Troy was killed over their invention called "cyboplasm", which turns people into mutants. Aside from Ken, no other cast of the ''Street Fighter'' series appears. Even then, that only applies to the American version of the game; the Japanese version's protagonist is "Kevin Stryker", making it even less connected to ''Street Fighter''. The Nerd reckons that this was back before the series found its calling with ''Street Fighter II'', which eclipsed the original ''Street Fighter'' in popularity and recognition. The only home console release of the original ''Street Fighter'' was ''Fighting Street'' on the Turbografx-16, a console that was released around the same time as the Genesis and SNES but never gained as much notability as its competitors.

Sadly, the original ''Street Fighter'' was mediocre compared to its sequel: the controls were incredibly stiff, and special moves worked very inconsistently.

The Nerd also takes time to mention ''Final Fight'', which was originally intended as a sequel to ''Street Fighter'' entitled "''Street Fighter '89''" before its name was changed to avoid confusion between the two otherwise disparate games. ''Final Fight'' would go on to be its own series, albeit one with ties to ''Street Fighter''. Oddly enough, ''Street Fighter 2010'' has a subtitle: "''The Final Fight''". The fact still remains, however, that ''Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight'' had nothing in common with its namesakes.

The Nerd goes off on another tangent, leading to him exhibiting ''Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game'', a video game adaptation of the Jean-Claude Van Damme ''Street Fighter'' movie, which, itself, was an adaptation of the game series. The Sega Saturn version featured digitize graphics of the movie's actors, not unlike ''Mortal Kombat'', and played like ''Street Fighter II''. Ultimately, it was unremarkable: not terrible, but ''Street Fighter II'' is still better.

After going off on unrelated tangents, the Nerd decides to redouble his focus on ''Street Fighter 2010''. After destroying the target monster, the player must locate and enter a portal that appears in the stage. There is only a very short amount of time to find the portal, though. A time limit is also present during the stages, but the target enemies prove tough to pin down and kill.

Each stage is difficult in its own right, such as one auto-scrolling stage where players have to navigate twisting corridors quickly, lest they get pinned inbetween the edge of the screen and a wall, dying instantly. One similar stage moves in a back-and-forth manner, making it even harder. Vertically auto-scrolling stages are harder still, due to the abundance of flying enemies that are two difficult to kill for a lack of intuitive vertical attacks. Another stage has the player fight a boss while contending with a sand waterfall that slows their descent, making it difficult to attack before they shoot first. One boss takes the form of a giant eye, but you cannot hit it if you don't have enough power-ups. Even then, you need to wait for mucus walls to built up.

Distracting enemies abound throughout the game, forcing players to multitask between platforming, fighting bosses, and avoiding damage from all directions. For its faults, however, the Nerd finds himself enjoying this game, describing it as very stimulating and just difficult enough the piss you off, but not enough to discourage you.

The final stage, however, pushes players to their absolute limits: it is a long endurance stage where players must fight their way to and through three bosses before fighting the final boss, which has two forms, with only one bar of health. Dying means starting the stage over from the beginning. The time limit is also incredibly strict; getting to the final boss does nothing to refill the time the player has left. The Nerd finds this out the hard way when he reaches the final boss with only two seconds to spare.

With unlimited continues, the Nerd presses on, determined to finish the game. As the Nerd describes it, you become good at fighting past the enemies at the expense of time, so you try to rush the stage, but find yourself with little health to spare and dying too soon. The built-up frustration causes the player's concentration and skills to backslide.

The final boss's weak spot is high in the arena. Ideally, the player can climb onto a wall and shoot the face, but only if they have enough power-ups to increase their attack range. Otherwise, they won't be able to defeat the boss within the time limit. Collecting the power-ups is also time-consuming, so the player must do it quickly without taking too much damage.

Succeed, however, and the final boss will fall, and the feeling of satisfaction from beating ''Street Fighter 2010'' is immeasurable.

With that, the Nerd wishes his viewers a happy new year before realizing [[BrickJoke he forgot his mail]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Hydlide'']]
The Nerd is less than enthused at the prospect of playing ''Hydlide'', considering merely speaking its name to be nauseating. After an opening sequence where a dragon breathes fire on a princess and causes her to explode into fairies, the game begins with the hero in a field. At first blush, the game appears very similar to ''The Legend of Zelda'', even though the game precedes ''Zelda'', having been released on Japanese home computers before being ported to the NES.

First among the Nerd's criticisms is the music, which sounds like a tinny arrangement of the ''Indiana Jones'' theme and loops without end except for the ending, which sounds like a different part of the ''Indiana Jones'' theme.

Combat is a pain: attacking monsters is done by holding A and running into an enemy. Unlike in ''Zelda'', when Link is seen brandishing his sword, there is no visual indication that you are attacking the enemy, which also makes it impossible to tell if you're being attacked while trying to fight; fights are about as random as dice-based board games. Defeating enemies gives the player only a minuscule amount of EXP, requiring ridiculous amounts of grinding to level up. Players can also cast magic, but doing so is convoluted; players must select the spell they wish to cast, press A to enter combat mode, then press B to cast the spell. The process of casting magic is so time-consuming, you're likely to die in the attempt.

Making the difficulty of this game worse is the fact that dying sends you back to the beginning of the game. There is a password system for continuing progress in the game, but the process of using passwords is also heavily convoluted; open the menu, select "Save", then go back into the menu and select "Password". The passwords, themselves, are very long. Writing the password or to entering it into the game is about as long as it takes too much time.

Figuring out what to do in the game is a chore unto itself. Some treasure chests contain treasures, while others won't open. Going into a hole in the ground leads to a cavern, but with the walls hidden, it's practically a death trap where sometimes you can die for what seem to be no reason, likely an invisible enemy hidden in the darkness. To have a chance of surviving, you need a lantern, which you get from killing vampires, which necessitates a cross, which only works when attacking the vampire from behind. Lighting the caverns reveal the only threat to be fireballs which are visible regardless of whether you have the lantern; without it, you're liable to just drop dead without any rhyme or reason.

To win the game, the player needs get a better sword from the cavern, then collect a few key items, find three fairies in random trees, cross a desert, go into a hole in front of a castle that leads into the ocean, go to an island with two wizards, kill the wizards with one blast of wave magic, be taken to another castle by the fairies, burn a bush to get inside, get a grave stone, kill the dragon, take a jewel back to the castle, and kill the final boss.

The game is, overall, very cryptic. This isn't to say ''Zelda'' didn't have its fair share of cryptic puzzles, but they were less difficult in general, and there were hints of how to proceed throughout ''Zelda'', as well as the game being highly discussed among gamers (thus spreading information and hints through word-of-mouth). ''Zelda'' was also a much better-made game than ''Hydlide''. The Nerd concludes that players would be better served playing something they're more familiar with like ''Zelda'', or reaching into a dog's ass than seeking out a new game like ''Hydlide'', because you're only going to get shit either way.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Ninja Gaiden'']]
[--Featured games: Ninja Gaiden (NES), Ninja Gaiden II (NES), Ninja Gaiden III (NES)--]

The Nerd recalls fond memories of ''Ninja Gaiden'' on the NES; while the series began as a mere beat-em-up in arcades, the NES game re-imagined the game as an intense side-scrolling platformer. On top of stellar gameplay, graphics, and sound design, the games also boasted a feature that wouldn't become common in games until much later; animated cutscenes through which the story unfolded, which would become a prominent feature of the NES trilogy. The cutscenes were something of a reward for progressing through the game; clearing a level gave players a cutscene that furthered the story.

Players assume the role of Ryu Hayabusa, a ninja from Japan whose father, Ken (no relation to ''Street Fighter'''s Ryu or Ken), was killed for a demon statue that could be used to awaken an ancient evil, thus starting Ryu's quest for revenge and to save the world.

The Nerd's chief criticism with the series is that they are among the most punishingly difficult games on the NES. The second game featured environmental hazards such as strong winds that can interfere with platforming, slippery ice, and darkness that can only be illuminated by lightning. The third game is even more difficult on the principal that it had only a limited number of continues (compared to the first two games, which had unlimited continues). The Nerd describes the games as harder than even ''Castlevania'', and he has yet to beat them, but now, he intends to beat the first ''Ninja Gaiden''.

One annoyance in the game is enemies that respawn if the screen scrolls back from where they appear, making platforming difficult. This coincides with a bigger grievance: it is far too easy to be knocked into a bottomless pit. So common are falling deaths that the Nerd even forgets that the game gives players a health meter; you're more likely to die from falling than by depleting your life bar.

At his wit's end, the Nerd travels to the mountains to seek the aid of a ninja master. The ninja master offers advice to the Nerd as he continues to struggle with the game. In particular, respawning flying enemies prove to be the Nerd's bane, returning faster than he can kill them and knocking him into bottomless pits.

The Nerd begins to give up, but the ninja master insists that he persist and give him training to improve the reflex speed and rhythm of his thumbs. The Nerd struggles with his training as well, removes the cartridge from the NES, and chucks it. The ninja master, however, catches the game, throws it back into the NES, and shows the Nerd his prowess at the game, blazing through the segments that others struggle with. Impressed by the ninja master, the Nerd resumes his training and begins to improve, making his way through the game with ever-increasing ease.

Eventually, the Nerd makes it to the final boss battle in stage 6-4, which consists of three battles against different phases of the boss. While the first phase is easy enough once you get the boss's pattern down, the second phase proves to be grueling due to the boss's homing fireballs. To make matters worse, dying against the final boss forces players back to stage 6-1. Stage 6-2, in particular, is a nightmare, made worse by the overall dearth of power-ups and a lack of a stage select code. The only consolation is that players don't need to start back at previous phases of the final boss, but even this is little comfort.

The Nerd finally gives up. The ninja master tries to convince the Nerd to continue, but the Nerd isn't having it. He hands the controller off to the ninja master, but the final stage of the game proves so difficult, it reduces him to curling up in a quivering ball and drowning his sorrows in Rolling Rock as the Nerd concludes that between being forced back in the final stage, environmental hazards, and limited continues, the entire ''Ninja Gaiden'' trilogy is impossible.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Sword Quest'']]
[--Featured Atari 2600 games: ''Sword Quest Earth, Sword Quest Fire'', and ''Sword Quest Water''[[labelnote:*]]''Sword Quest Air'' was never released[[/labelnote]]--]
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:''Pong'' Consoles]]
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[[/folder]]

Thankfully, when you reach the final dungeon, you'll be able to start over from its entrance instead of having to travel back there from Hyrule Castle. At the end, the player fights Shadow Link, but Shadow Link is one of the toughest end bosses in games. The Nerd gives up trying to fight Shadow Link, likening the game to your own shadow: you can't beat your shadow, because it knows you better than you know yourself. As an [[JustForPun off-hand]] joke, the Nerd dares players to try to beat ''Zelda II'' with a Power Glove, hooking one up and wearing it. As the Nerd gives his final thoughts on ''Zelda II'', however, the gestures he makes with the Power Glove lead to him accidentally defeating Shadow Link and beating the game, to his astonishment.

The Nerd talks about his days as the "Angry Nintendo Nerd" and how he wanted to redo some of his previous reviews, playing some of the first games he reviewed and trying to complete them. He takes some time to poke fun at the changes made to the original ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy by mentioning the changes he would've liked to make to some of his earlier videos, such as giving the explosion from his [[VideoGame/StreetFighter Sonic Booming]] his TV in his ''Top-Gun'' review a halo, or making Jason shoot first in his ''Friday the 13th'' review. He has no actual intentions of making those changes, however, and rather intends to give new, better reviews to the games he reviewed in the past.\\\

# G-Force FGT. (G-Force): A horizontal-scrolling shmup that is, like Starevil, simplistic. The Nerd recommends Konami's ''Life Force'' as an alternative.[[note]] Not that Life Force is good, but compared to G-Force . . .[[/note]]

# G-Force FGT. (G-Force): A horizontal-scrolling shmup that is, like Starevil, simplistic. The Nerd recommends Konami's ''Life Force'' as an alternative.

# Illuminator: A ''Donkey Kong''-esque game where the lights go out at regular intervals, leaving the player blind and unable to navigate effectively unless they kill enemies.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Day Dreamin Davey (NES)]]
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[[/folder]]

[[folder:Star Wars Games]]
[--Featured games: Star Wars: The Arcade Game (A2600), Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (A2600), Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (A2600), Star Wars: Jedi Arena (A2600), Star Wars (FC), Star Wars (NES), Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (NES), and Super Star Wars 1-3 (SNES)--]\\
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[[/folder]]

[[folder:R.O.B. the Robot]]
[--Featured NES games: Gyromite and Stack-Up (both NES)--]

The Nerd walks into his basement and takes a few moments to take in the fact that he is surrounded by shitty games. After ranting for a minute, he decides to play a game, settling on ''Gyromite'', one of the launch titles of the NES. He is perplexed to find that the game's name on the title screen is ''Robot Gyro'', but it only gets worse when he finds himself unable to proceed through the first level due to a wall blocking his path. Eventually, he figures out that a second controller is needed to move the walls, which he initially believes is the result of picking a two-player mode. However, resetting the game doesn't change things: a second player is needed in one-player mode while the actual two-player mode simply has players taking turns.\\\

As the Nerd wonders who would play ''Gyromite'' with him, he is approached by R.O.B., the Robotic Operating Buddy, who volunteers to play with him. However, the Nerd cannot simply hand the controller off to it: R.O.B. tells the Nerd it needs an "adaptive device" that holds the second controller in place so the device's actuators can press the A and B buttons. This, however, still isn't enough: R.O.B. also needs "gyros", small spinning top-like devices to place onto the actuators.\\\

Now set up with its actuator, gyros, and a spinner for the gyros, R.O.B. is finally ready to play ''Gyromite''. To play, the player has to alternate control between the Professor in-game and R.O.B. in the real world: pressing start and inputting commands into the first player's controller causes the screen to flash blue, which instruct R.O.B. via sensors in its eyes to rotate its arms and pick up or put down gyros. The process of putting a gyro in place to move a wall proves to be very time-consuming, and the first time the Nerd pulls it off, he is almost immediately killed by an enemy that corners him.\\\

The goal of ''Gyromite'' is to collect every stick of dynamite in each level. The Professor can climb ropes, but can't jump, so R.O.B. is needed to move the walls to help the Professor get around. The lack of an ability to jump also leaves the Professor vulnerable to enemies called "Smicks": the only way to deal with them is to leave radishes around to distract them or crush them with the moving walls.\\\

The game would, ultimately, be decent if not for the fact that R.O.B. was needed to play it.\\\

Exasperated, the Nerd decides to switch games. R.O.B. insists on playing ''Stack-Up'' (AKA: ''Robot Block''), another NES launch title that requires R.O.B. The game comes with stands to place on R.O.B., five colored blocks, and an alternate set of hands for R.O.B. to hold the blocks. The objective is to set the blocks up on the stands in a pre-arranged pattern, then move the blocks into a new pattern as quickly and with as few moves as possible. Upon completing this objective, players press start to move on to the next stage. However, there is no way for the game to know the player succeeded, so it is possible to simply cheat and keep pressing start. The methods for controlling R.O.B. in this game are also very convoluted.\\\

The Nerd decides to play a different game. Unfortunately, R.O.B. only wants to play ''Gyromite'' and ''Stack-Up'', in spite of the Nerd's insistence that he has over eight hundred different games to choose from. After R.O.B. makes its desires perfectly clear by throwing his games in the Nerd's face, the Nerd decides to indulge R.O.B. for a while. The Nerd finally reaches his breaking point while playing ''Gyromite'' and constructs a "Gyromite Controller'' by sawing the halves off of two NES controllers and taping them together before deciding to play something else.\\\

However, the Nerd discovers that his entire library of NES games have turned into either ''Gyromite'' or ''Stack-Up''. R.O.B. then takes control of the Nerd's controllers to restrain him and beat him to a pulp, then transforms his entire library of games across every console generation into ''Gyromite'' and ''Stack-Up'' and doing them same to every video game across the globe as part of its "prime objective". With this change comes an end to long passwords, bad game music, bad controls, bad graphics, and bad weapons. R.O.B. reveals that it was created in response to the video game market crash of 1983, which was caused by the market being over-saturated with sub-par games created by human imperfection. Nintendo was prophesied to bring about a savior that would restore the games industry, which R.O.B. says is itself.\\\

The Nerd, however, believes that Nintendo's success has nothing to do with R.O.B., and the industry's true savior was Mario. He punctuates this point by fighting R.O.B. with a Mario plushy. Sadly, not even the Mario plushy can stand before R.O.B., who destroys the plushy before blasting the Nerd into submission. With the Nerd defeated, R.O.B. grows into a giant and begins to terrorize a nearby city.\\\

As the Nerd lay unconscious, he thinks about R.O.B.'s words about removing shitty games...\\\

"...'''''I won't fucking have it!'''''"\\\

The Nerd gets his second wind and dons his battle armor (two Power Gloves, a Laser Scope headset, a Power Pad cape, and a U-Force chestplate with a Super Scope) before growing into a giant and facing R.O.B. in their fated final battle. The Nerd ultimately emerges victorious, destroying R.O.B. and undoing its power, restoring his library of games back to the way they were. Upon returning to his basement, he takes several of his games, good and shitty alike, and gives them a big hug as ''Simon's Quest'' rests on the ground next to him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Spielberg Games]]
[--Featured games: Jaws (NES), Hook (NES), Jurassic Park (NES, SNES), Jurassic Park (Gen), Jurassic Park Rampage Edition (Gen), Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues (SNES), Jurassic Park (SCD), Jurassic Park the Interactive (3D0), E.T. Go Come (A2600)[[labelnote:*]]Not to be confused with the infamous E.T. video game[[/labelnote]]--]
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After introducing his custom-made toaster-themed Nintendo console (affectionately dubbed the "Nintoaster"), the Nerd introduces ''Action 52'', a highly requested curiosity. For starters, the design of the game's cartridge is unlike that of any other NES cart: it was transparent, so the internal circuitry of the cart was on display, which the Nerd takes as a sign that it is so awful, "it has nothing to hide". In addition, prolonged play sessions with this game made the cartridge hot and reek of burning plastic. Furthermore, the MSRP of the game was $199, making it the most expensive game in the NES library! The Nerd calculates that this means each game in ''Action 52'' would be worth approximately four dollars each, and hopes to find at least one gem among the myriad games.

# Starevil (Star Evil): A vertical-strolling shoot-em-up which the Nerd takes umbridge with from the start due to an obstacle appearing directly in front of the player when the game begins. Otherwise, the game was mind-numblingly easy: as long as you fire, the enemies can't hurt you. The end level boss also occasionally glitches and fails to appear, leaving the player stuck at the end of the level.

# G-Force FGT. (G-Force): A horizontal-scrolling shmup that is, like Starevil, simplistic. The Nerd recommend's Konami's ''Life Force'' as an alternative.
# Ooze: A mediocre platformer that uses B to jump, which the Nerd takes umbridge with, and has a convoluted method of jumping across gaps (tap B, then press the direction you wish to jump in). The game also has enemies that resemble Shit Pickle, and the Nerd notices that when ''Action 52'' is booted up, Ooze is highlighted by default.

# Timewarp (Time Warp Tickers): Another platformer, this time with players as a pair of walking fingers in a very bizarre setting. Killing enemies causes them to display the word "Time?".

# Robbie Robot: Another run-and-gun game. As long as you move to the right and fire your gun, you can't lose...until you reach the second level and need to watch for gaps to jump over.

At this point, the Nerd is incredulous that this game sold for the price of a video game ''console''. He sums up the common themes of all of the games he played in ''Action 52'': glitches, crashes, bad controls, bizarre graphics, some games with tiny characters, too many shmups, dying in mid-air, misleading titles, garish graphics, not enough enemies, games you can't win at, games you can't lose at, nonsensical games, and so forth.

After enduring fifty-one of the craptastic games of ''Action 52'', the Nerd is prepared to play the fifty-second and final game of the compilation: ''Cheetahmen'', which was meant to be the main attraction of the all of ''Action 52'' and came with its own comic book with promotions for future merchandise. Surely, this was where all the effort in ''Action 52'' was dedicated!

Sadly, it doesn't take long for the Nerd to realize that the quality of ''Cheetahmen'' is barely any better than the rest of ''Action 52''. The game had its own ExcusePlot about a gamer pulled into the world of video games and meeting the eponymous Cheetahmen. As for the gameplay: it is a mediocre brawler and platformer that extensively reuses assets from the other titles in ''Action 52''. Frustratingly, the game doesn't allow the Nerd to proceed up a path until he traverses as far right along the level as he can beforehand, and touching holes in the ground result in instant death. Levels end abruptly, and the platforming levels have a glitch that allows the player to jump infinitely (unless they move beyond the top of the screen, in which case, they die).

The third level gives players control over a different Cheetahman, and is where the difficulty picks up greatly: there is an enemy obstructing the path early on, and the Cheetahman's large size makes it impossible to dodge projectiles. The jumping glitch is still in effect, but less effective.

The Nerd drops into a pit, expecting to die, but finds a 1-Up and skips to the next level, amusing him. Curiously, the fourth level is also called "Level 3", and a health bar suddenly appears for the first time. Sadly, the jumping glitch is gone in this level. In addition, the Cheetahman moves faster than the screen, making it all to easy to run into enemies and take damage. The boss at the end of the level also kills you instantly. In order to beat it, the player essentially has to cheese the boss by moving in such a position that they can hit the boss without getting hit themselves.

"Level 4" (which is actually the fifth level, by the Nerd's count) provides a Cheetahman with a crossbow. Unfortunately, the weapon is barely effective at all, missing enemies more often than hitting them. Also, the health bar is hidden once more.

At this point, the Nerd is done with ''Action 52'' on the NES. However, it was not the end of ''Cheetahmen'': a sequel, ''Cheetahmen II'', was developed, but never released in stores. Only 1500 prototype cartridges exist, making it one of the more rare games of the NES library. The cartridges, themselves, are essentially the same as for ''Action 52'', but with "''Cheetahmen II''" printed on the back side.

The game's story is more sensible: a mad scientist creates an Ape Man to destroy the Cheetahmen.

The gameplay is very similar to the original ''Cheetahmen''. The health bar is always visible, but glitches still prevail. Falling damage is also in effect: jumping from a great height results in death. There is no way to duck, and thus, no way to fight short enemies. Enemies that have a higher orientation are worse, since you can't jump over them and shooting them down is too hard. By comparison, the second level's boss is too easy: he can be jumped over and shot down with little trouble.

The third level provides the large Cheetahman and the jumping glitch, which proves more useful this time, since most enemies are short enough to be jumped over. The Nerd feels no shame or guilt in cheating the game after dealing with the previous two levels.

The fourth level, again labeled "Level 3", is a boss fight against the Ape Man. However, the boss glitches out, leaving the Nerd stuck and with no way to die. He has no choice but to reset the game and work his way up to the Ape Man again. This time, he manages to defeat the boss, but the end result is the same: stuck in "Level 3" with no way to proceed. With that, the Nerd decides that he has officially beaten ''Cheetahmen II'', since this was, for all intents and purposes, the end of the game.

* "Challenge", a trial run of ''Action 52'''s hardest levels

Unlike the NES version, the Genesis version of ''Action 52'' is much more functional, with the Nerd reporting only one game crash. The games taken from the NES version, while still not very good, are also vastly improved.

Finally, the Nerd plays game #13: ''Cheetahmen''. There is no prologue this time, the music was mediocre compared to the NES version, and the Cheetahmen now die in one hit from any enemy. The Cheetahmen still outrun the screen, making it easy to die from running into an enemy. In addition, the punching attack requires pixel-perfect accuracy to work. The goal of the first level is ostensibly to collect Cheetah icons scattered throughout, but the icons reset upon death.

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One of the most requested crappy games for the Nerd to review is ''VideoGame/ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink'', a request the Nerd finds surprising, since (CD-i titles aside) the Zelda series had always been stellar. The Nerd, himself, thinks ''Zelda II'' is a good game, but admits that not everyone shares this opinion, since it was radically different from other games in the series. It had been some time since the Nerd last played it, so he decides to give it another go and see how it holds up.

The Nerd's first criticism is with the game's overworld, where Link looks tiny (but is bigger than the towns) and the graphics are underwhelming.

One of the most common criticisms with ''Zelda II'' is the fact that the action takes the form of side-scrolling platforming, rather than the overhead view seen in every other title leading up to the Nintendo 64 titles. To be fair to the game, though, the Nerd states that it was only the second Zelda game ever released, and the series had not yet found its true calling, experimenting with another type of gameplay before settling on an overhead perspective.

One thing the Nerd finds annoying is the lack of combat in the overworld. Instead, generic-looking monster indicators appear, and touching one leads to a battle using side-scrolling gameplay. While a good way to gain experience, monster encounters are annoyingly frequent. Some encounters don't even have monsters to fight, instead having rocks that the player needs to dodge as they leave the encounter. In fairness, however, the game at least lets you see the monsters coming at you in the overworld, as opposed to many [=RPGs=] such as ''Final Fantasy''.

Ganon doesn't make an appearance in this game (except for the Game Over screen), a curious omission, although it can be explained away in the game's story: Ganon is dead, and the villains of ''Zelda II'' are trying to revive him using Link's blood.

The overarching goal of the game is to travel to towns, learn magic, and use the magic you learn to conquer the game's main dungeons, known as palaces, where players fight bosses and retrieve items that can be used to conquer other palaces.

The game is one of the most NintendoHard entries in the NES library: while the first palaces are fairly simple, the difficulty ramps up when you reach Death Mountain. The Nerd believes this dungeon would be better suited for closer to the end of the game rather than so early on. Later dungeons are still hard, but their difficulty is more manageable due to the fact that you'll have more health, better items, and stronger spells than you would have going into Death Mountain. To stand a chance in Death Mountain, you'd need to grind for experience before hand, but even then, you'll have a hard time.

Once you clear Death Mountain and gain the hammer, you can proceed further into the game, finding a secret entrance to the next dungeon in a graveyard which is also grueling. Making things all the more difficult is the fact that, if you lose all of your lives, you need to start back at Hyrule Castle, as opposed to the previous Zelda game where you can at least start dungeons over at their entrance instead of having to trek all the way back to them.

Towns provide much-needed respite from fighting, but the townsfolk don't provide a lot of help, many speaking in cryptic riddles (such as "I AM ERROR") and making references to things that don't appear in the game. Each town also has a woman that invites Link into her home to restore her health. It's not shown how she is restoring Link's health, but the Nerd reckons she's helping him by [[DoubleEntendre letting him stick his sword in her forge]].

The Nerd finds a bit of humor in being able to run across a town's roofs. He attempts to use a spell to transform into a fairy while jumping beyond the top of the screen, but causes the game to glitch such that when he leaves the town, he's trapped in the middle of the ocean, unable to proceed any further in the game. The Glitch Gremlin rears his ugly head as the Nerd repeats the experiment and find himself stuck in the floor.

There is a wizard Link has to fight, but without the Reflect spell, it's impossible to beat him. To get the spell, however, you have to rescue a lost child.

The Nerd finds some of the items in the game underwhelming. The candle in ''Zelda II'' is used to light up dark caves, but in the original game, can burn bushes. The flute was used to warp in the first game, but here, is used to proceed past an obstacle on a bridge and open the way to the sixth dungeon. There's no way to know to do so, however, as the game provides no clues to this.

Some dungeons have flying horse heads that piss the Nerd off to no end, just like the Medusa Heads from the ''Castlevania'' series. Thankfully, the Fairy spell provides an excellent (if somewhat cheap) workaround to this problem, but it's only a stopgap measure: you only have a limited amount of time to use it before your magic runs out, and there's a wall obstructing your path.

After beating the dragon and finding a hidden town, Link learns a new spell that changes enemies. However, this spell has another function: using it at a supposed dead end summons another dungeon. There's no way to know this without a strategy guide or a subscription to ''Nintendo Power''.

[--Featured games: Top-Gun (NES), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (NES), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES), Back to the Future (NES), Back to the Future 2&3 (NES), Back to the Future 3 (Gen), and Super Back to the Future 2 (SFC)--]

The Nerd talks about his days as the "Angry Nintendo Nerd" and how he wanted to redo some of his previous reviews, playing some of the first games he reviewed and trying to complete them. He takes some time to poke fun at the changes made to the original ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy by mentioning the changes he would've liked to make to some of his earlier videos, such as giving the explosion from his [[VideoGame/StreetFighter Sonic Booming]] his TV in his ''Top-Gun'' review a halo, or making Jason shoot first in his ''Friday the 13th'' review. He has no actual intentions of making those changes, however, and rather intends to give new, better reviews to the games he reviewed in the past.

When the Nerd first reviewed ''Top-Gun'', he only made it about halfway through the game. This time, he intends to finish it and show the ending. When he makes it to the final level, he finds that his objective is to destroy a space shuttle, which never happened in the movie. Afterwards is one final instance of the dreaded carrier landing sequence. The Nerd answers the question of why he had such difficulty in these sequences: the vertical controls for the plane are reversed so down moved the plane up and vice-versa, similar to other flying games. The instructions, however, don't make it clear whether you should press down, or press up to move the plane down. When the instructions say "Up! Up!", it doesn't specify whether you should speed up or go up. Finally, the Nerd figures out the key to succeeding is to go by the altitude and speed readings on the HUD.

After several tense moments, it looks as though the Nerd may overshoot the carrier. However, the plane suddenly flies off the screen and out of his basement window, leaving him confused.

Next, the Nerd takes a second look at ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit?''. He brings up the point in the game where you find Jessica Rabbit's phone number, which is an actual 1-800 number that players were supposed to call to receive a clue on how to proceed from Jessica Rabbit. The Nerd never thought to call the number before and tries it this time, only to find that the number no longer connects to Jessica Rabbit's tips and tricks, but a phone sex hotline, surprising the Nerd: a Nintendo game giving a number to a phone sex hotline? "That's fucking awesome."

The Nerd then takes on Judge Doom, the final boss, who is frustratingly difficult: Doom can shave off large portions of the player's health while barely taking any, himself. Doom's fighting pattern is also irregular, making it hard to find the right pattern to lay into him. After knocking Doom onto the ground, players had to get the Dip cannon, select it, and use it on Doom before he can get back up and kill you in a single hit.

The Nerd then returns to ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' on the NES, of which the Nerd only showed three levels in his previous review. The Nerd still finds himself getting stuck at a tricky jump in a sewer where his forward momentum is cut off by an overhead platform, making him fall into the sewer water below and force him to start the stage over. Later, the player needs to fight the Technodrome, which is as hard as they come; but first, they need to find it in sewer caves and fight their way through extremely difficult enemies. Even then, it's a crapshoot whether the player ultimately finds the Technodrome or an empty room. By the time the player finds the Technodrome, they will have lost at least a few turtles and be low on health as the boss tosses so many enemies and projectiles out that it causes slowdown. Afterwards, the player needs to fight their way through the inside of the Technodrome, but at that point, defeat is all but guaranteed.

Next is the main event: revisiting ''Back to the Future'' on the NES. After having deja vu from destroying a copy of the game in a toaster as he plugs the game into his Nintoaster, the Nerd revisits some of his old criticisms: the gameplay is divorced from the plot of the movie on which it is based, consisting of collecting clocks while attacking with bowling balls and dodging all sorts of bizarre obstacles, in addition to the unforgiving cafe stages.

The walking stages are pallet-swapped copies, and there is another bonus stage where Loraine shoots hearts at Marty which he needs to block. The Nerd becomes frustrated at how literal the game is: "It's about time, so let's have clocks. It's about romance, so let's have hearts."

Eventually, the player makes it to the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance, where the game reenacts Marty playing the guitar on stage. Players are tasked with collecting musical notes in the guitar as Marty plays "'Johnny Be Good' on crack".

After more walking stages, the player takes control of the [=DeLorean=] as they must go back to the future. Players must hit 88 MPH by the end of the stage while dodging lightning (a complete reversal of what happened in the movie). For the player's effort, they get [[AWinnerIsYou a lame ending]] and more of the irritating main theme loop.

Next is ''Back to the Future II & III'' on the NES. The opening of the game follows the movies better than the original, but once the game begins, the player is beset by bizarre enemies that have nothing to do with the movie, with only the movie's title in the bottom left corner of the screen reminding the player that this is, indeed, a ''Back to the Future'' game.

The Nerd figures out after his first attempt at reviewing the game that the objective is to collect 30 objects from the various bonus stages in the game and return them to the correct place. Getting to the bonus stages requires finding keys for locked doors, which are dropped at random from enemies and drop off the screen without landing on the ground, so players must get them quickly or leave the level, return, and try again. Even then, the key won't work on every door.

Once the item is collected, the player must take it back to its proper location. These locations are hidden in obscure locations in each level, and even when they are found, the player had to solve a word jumble puzzle to figure out ''which'' item is supposed to be brought to this location. If players select the wrong item, they will lose the item and need to get it ''all over again''. Worse still, the item players get from the bonus stages are randomized, and players had to travel to thirty different time zones to get each one.

In addition, there is no save feature. And even if the player manages to get all thirty items to their proper place, they've only made it ''halfway'' through the game; they need to play through ''Part III'' of the movie series. Thankfully, there is a code that lets players start at ''Part III''. Unfortunately, this entails an even bigger word scramble puzzle, leaving the Nerd pissed that LJN seemed to monopolize movie-to-game adaptations on the NES.

Next is ''Back to the Future: Part III'' on the Sega Genesis. Unlike the NES games, it has the movie's theme song (albeit in exceedingly low quality). While the game is more faithful to the movie, the first stage is exceedingly difficult: players take control of Doc Brown as they race to save Clara from falling into a ravine, but the stage is filled to the brim with obstacles that knock the player off of their horse, costing time. Too many hits, and Clara dies, ending the game. The game only has four stages, which is too short for a Genesis game, leaving the Nerd incensed that the developers tried to pad out the game with FakeDifficulty. The game drives the Nerd into a blind rage and a fit of drinking Rolling Rock.

As the Nerd recovers from the shittiness of ''Back to the Future: Part III'' on the Genesis, he finds one more game based on the series: ''Super Back to the Future: Part II'' on the Super Famicom. To the Nerd's surprise, this game turns out to actually be decent, featuring pleasant anime-style graphics, serviceable gameplay, and an arrangement of the movie's theme that's a joy to listen to. The Nerd is pissed that the one ''good'' game based on ''Back to the Future'' never came out of Japan.

To complete his revisit of the first games he reviewed, the Nerd must review one last game. It is the game he hates the most, the one he dreads revisiting above all others: ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde''. In the Nerd's second ever review, he warned audiences to avoid the game at all costs, but his warnings fell on deaf ears; in fact, his review compelled others to try it. He believes the reason for this is because he didn't show just how shitty the game was, only showing a very short part of the game. He must play it more to demonstrate why it must be shunned.

It is a task that he, himself, is afraid to undertake. For several moments, he tries to delay the inevitable by talking about various trivia about the book and its movie adaptations, but eventually, he musters his courage, finishes his Rolling Rock and starts imbibing in stronger spirits, and plugs the game into his Nintoaster.

His first attempt at the game plays out just like in his original review: as Dr. Jekyll, his health is reduced to zero in mere moments, prompting his transformation into Mr. Hyde. Mere seconds afterward, lightning strikes Hyde, killing him and ending the game.

This time around, however, the Nerd has a better understanding of how the transformation mechanic works. As noted before, when Jekyll runs out of health, he transforms into Hyde. As Hyde, there are two ways to die: running out of health, and proceeding further in the stage (which is a mirrored version of Jekyll's stage) than he had as Jekyll. To continue, the player must transform back into Jekyll by killing a specific enemy to reduce Hyde's stress meter until the transformation reverses.

The Jekyll stages are unforgivably difficult: [[EverythingTryingToKillYou everyone and everything is out for your blood]], from the townsfolk to animals. Jekyll's cane is effective against none of these enemies (except for tiny bees, to the Nerd's unending confusion and anguish). On the other hand, as Hyde, you have the ability to punch monsters and launch "Psycho Waves" that travel in a very unpredictable manner, making it hard to kill enemies. The Hyde stages are actually more enjoyable than Jekyll's, but the player is tasked with not transforming into Hyde, only adding to the Nerd's befuddlement. Adding to the frustration with Jekyll is an enemy that drops bombs that can [[HitboxDissonance hit you from halfway across the screen]] and potentially kill you instantly.

The game ultimately proves too frustrating for the Nerd, as he describes it as a horrible concoction not unlike the elixir Dr. Jekyll created to expose one's inner evil. Indeed, the game ultimately transforms the Nerd into a violent no-good-nick similar to Mr. Hyde who decides to take revenge on Robert Louis Stevenson. The Nerd digs up Stevenson's skeletal remains, which suddenly reanimate and taunt the Nerd. The Nerd swings his cane at Stevenson, but to no avail. Stevenson taunts the Nerd further by commanding him to play more ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde''.

The Nerd awakens on his couch in his basement: his encounter with Stevenson was but a dream, it seems. That dream helps him reach an epiphany that the game may actually be the best game ever made: a very clever commentary on the duality of man, as demonstrated by the player wishing to be Hyde but only succeeding by remaining as Jekyll, for if Hyde is allowed to progress further than Jekyll, evil will triumph. Even though Jekyll is beset by everyone and everything wanting him dead, he must maintain the moral high ground, hence why the cane doesn't work on anything: the game does not reward evil. It is a demonstration on Freud's ideas of repression in psychology.

[[spoiler:...or it fucking sucks.]]

[--Featured NES games: Gyromite, and Stack-Up--]

The Nerd walks into his basement and takes a few moments to take in the fact that he is surrounded by shitty games. After ranting for a minute, he decides to play a game, settling on ''Gyromite'', one of the launch titles of the NES. He is perplexed to find that the game's name on the title screen is ''Robot Gyro'', but it only gets worse when he finds himself unable to proceed through the first level due to a wall blocking his path. Eventually, he figures out that a second controller is needed to move the walls, which he initially believes is the result of picking a two-player mode. However, resetting the game doesn't change things: a second player is needed in one-player mode while the actual two-player mode simply has players taking turns.

As the Nerd wonders who would play ''Gyromite'' with him, he is approached by R.O.B., the Robotic Operating Buddy, who volunteers to play with him. However, the Nerd cannot simply hand the controller off to it: R.O.B. tells the Nerd it needs an "adaptive device" that holds the second controller in place so the device's actuators can press the A and B buttons. This, however, still isn't enough: R.O.B. also needs "gyros", small spinning top-like devices to place onto the actuators.

Now set up with its actuator, gyros, and a spinner for the gyros, R.O.B. is finally ready to play ''Gyromite''. To play, the player has to alternate control between the Professor in-game and R.O.B. in the real world: pressing start and inputting commands into the first player's controller causes the screen to flash blue, which instruct R.O.B. via sensors in its eyes to rotate its arms and pick up or put down gyros. The process of putting a gyro in place to move a wall proves to be very time-consuming, and the first time the Nerd pulls it off, he is almost immediately killed by an enemy that corners him.

The goal of ''Gyromite'' is to collect every stick of dynamite in each level. The Professor can climb ropes, but can't jump, so R.O.B. is needed to move the walls to help the Professor get around. The lack of an ability to jump also leaves the Professor vulnerable to enemies called "smicks": the only way to deal with them is to leave radishes around to distract them or crush them with the moving walls.

The game would, ultimately, be decent if not for the fact that R.O.B. was needed to play it.

Exasperated, the Nerd decides to switch games. R.O.B. insists on playing ''Stack-Up'' (AKA: ''Robot Block''), another NES launch title that requires R.O.B. The game comes with stands to place on R.O.B., five colored blocks, and an alternate set of hands for R.O.B. to hold the blocks. The objective is to set the blocks up on the stands in a pre-arranged pattern, then move the blocks into a new pattern as quickly and with as few movies as possible. Upon completing this objective, players press start to move on to the next stage. However, there is no way for the game to know the player succeeded, so it is possible to simply cheat and keep pressing start. The methods for controlling R.O.B. in this game are also very convoluted.

The Nerd decides to play a different game. Unfortunately, R.O.B. only wants to play ''Gyromite'' and ''Stack-Up'', in spite of the Nerd's insistence that he has over eight hundred different games to choose from. After R.O.B. makes its desires perfectly clear by throwing his games in the Nerd's face, the Nerd decides to indulge R.O.B. for a while. The Nerd finally reaches his breaking point while playing ''Gyromite'' and constructs a "Gyromite Controller'' by sawing the halves off of two NES controllers and taping them together before deciding to play something else.

However, the Nerd discovers that his entire library of NES games have turned into either ''Gyromite'' or ''Stack-Up''. R.O.B. then takes control of the Nerd's controllers to restrain him and beat him to a pulp, then transforms his entire library of games across every console generation into ''Gyromite'' and ''Stack-Up'' and doing them same to every video game across the globe as part of its "prime objective". With this change comes an end to long passwords, bad game music, bad controls, bad graphics, and bad weapons. R.O.B. reveals that it was created in response to the video game market crash of 1983, which was caused by the market being over-saturated with sub-par games created by human imperfection. Nintendo was prophesied to bring about a savior that would restore the games industry, which R.O.B. says is itself.

The Nerd, however, believes that Nintendo's success has nothing to do with R.O.B., and the industry's true savior was Mario. He punctuates this point by fighting R.O.B. with a Mario plushy. Sadly, not even the Mario plushy can stand before R.O.B., who destroys the plushy before blasting the Nerd into submission. With the Nerd defeated, R.O.B. grows into a giant and begins to terrorize a nearby city.

As the Nerd lay unconscious, he thinks about R.O.B.'s words about removing shitty games...

"...'''''I won't fucking have it!'''''"

The Nerd gets his second wind and dawns his battle armor (two Power Gloves, a Laser Scope headset, a Power Pad cape, and a U-Force chestplate with a Super Scope) before growing into a giant and facing R.O.B. in their fated final battle. The Nerd ultimately emerges victorious, destroying R.O.B. and undoing its power, restoring his library of games back to the way they were. Upon returning to his basement, he takes several of his games, good and shitty alike, and gives them a big hug as ''Simon's Quest'' rests on the ground next to him.

[--Featured games: Pooyan (NES), Metal Gear (NES), Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (NES), Mega Man 2 (NES), Super Mario Bros 1-3 (NES), Super Mario World (SNES), Mountain Climb (A2600), Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii), Rocky (PS2)--]

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The Nerd awakens on his couch in his basement: his encounter with Stevenson was but a dream, it seems. He reaches an epiphany: the game may actually be the best game ever made: a very clever commentary on the duality of man, as demonstrated by the player wishing to be Hyde but only succeeding by remaining as Jekyll, for if Hyde is allowed to progress further than Jekyll, evil will triumph. Even though Jekyll is beset by everyone and everything wanting him dead, he must maintain the moral high ground, hence why the cane doesn't work on anything: the game does not reward evil. It is a demonstration on Freud's ideas of repression in psychology.

To complete his revisit of the first games he reviewed, the Nerd must review one last game. It is the game he hates the most, the one he dreads revisiting above all others: ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde''. In the Nerd's second ever review, he warned audiences to avoid the game at all costs, but his warnings fell on deaf ears; in fact, his review compelled others to try it. He believes the reason for this is because he didn't show just how shitty the game was, only showing a very short part of the game. He must play it more to demonstrate why it must be avoided at all costs.

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[[folder:Street Fighter 2010]]
[--Featured games: Street Fighter 2010 (NES), Fighting Street (TGCD), Street Fighter the Movie the Game (Sat)--]\\

[[folder:Hydlide]]

[[folder:Ninja Gaiden]]

[[folder:Sword Quest]]
[--Featured Atari 2600 games: Sword Quest Earth, Sword Quest Fire, and Sword Quest Water[[labelnote:*]]Sword Quest Air was never released[[/labelnote]]--]

[[folder:Pong Consoles]]

[[folder:Action 52]]

[[folder:Cheetahmen]]
[--Featured games: Action 52 (NES, featuring Cheetahmen), Cheetahmen 2 (NES), and Action 52 (Gen)--]

[[folder:Game Glitches]]
[--Featured games: Pooyan (NES), Metal Gear (NES), Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (NES), Mega Man 2 (NES), Super Mario Bros 1-3 (NES), Super Mario World (SNES), Mountain Climb (A2600), Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii), Rocky (PS2)--]

[[folder:Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link]]

[[folder:Back to the Future Revisited]]
[--Featured games: Top-Gun (NES), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (NES), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES), Back to the Future (NES), Back to the Future 2&3 (NES), Back to the Future 3 (Gen), and Super Back to the Future 2 (SFC)--]

[[folder:Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Revisited]]

[[folder:Lester the Unlikely]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:How the Nerd Stole Christmas]]
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