History Recap / GleeS5E1LoveLoveLove

Next Time: The Beatles tribute continues, we witness a "Brundleprom", and two cases of ForegoneConclusion, one with regards to a key element of the later part of the season, the other being something [[{{Film/Carrie}} a long time coming]].

The first of two tribute episodes to the Beatles, with New Directions performing the Fab Four's musical catalogue at director Will Schuester's behest. Kurt and Blaine agree to become boyfriends once again, and Blaine is emboldened to ask Kurt to marry him. Rachel's dreams of Broadway seem to be in jeopardy when a "chemistry" audition ends abruptly; Santana gets her a job at the Broadway diner where she works. Artie and Kitty begin dating. Sue Sylvester is made interim principal of [=McKinley=] High after she frames Figgins (Iqbal Theba).

The first of two tribute episodes to the Beatles, with New Directions performing the Fab Four's musical catalogue at director Will Schuester's behest. Kurt and Blaine agree to become boyfriends once again, and Blaine is emboldened to ask Kurt to marry him. Rachel's dreams of Broadway seem to be in jeopardy when a "chemistry" audition ends abruptly; Santana gets her a job at the Broadway diner where she works. Artie and Kitty begin dating. Sue Sylvester is made interim principal of McKinley High after she frames Figgins (Iqbal Theba).

...Season 5... yeah.

This was an uneven season, to say the ''very'' least, not only because of a slightly reduced order (two episodes less than usual, 20 instead of 22), but because as we mentioned last time, due to accommodating a guest star, the filming of the last part of Season 4 was delayed long enough to where certain plot elements had to be resolved here. The first 13 episodes will resolve those plots, as well as graduate the remaining veterans of New Directions. That of course leaves seven episodes remaining... and we'll warn you know, that stretch will represent Glee at its absolute worse.

And of course, this season is also awash in tragedy, particularly the first three episodes. On July 13, 2013, Creator/CoryMonteith was found dead in a Vancouver, BC hotel room at the age of 32 from an accidental OD. Besides the understandable grief, the entire season had to be rewritten in order to remove Finn Hudson from all plotlines. Cory will get his remembrance in two episodes time, but for now, let's get it on.

And what a way get it on, a two-part tribute episode showcasing one of the richest catalogs in all of music. Yes folks, somehow, Ryan Murphy got permission to do a Music/TheBeatles tribute. I'm shocked too.

We start Season 5 with Rachel coming across a marquee promoting the previously established revival of ''Funny Girl''. This is where she'll have her call back for the role of Fanny Brice, which we are so very much aware she'll get. Inside, we find she's auditioning alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. Her scene is cut earlier than she'd hope, so after trying to butter up Mr. Fantastic, she gathers her things long enough to overhear Mr. F and Carlisle say that they think she's too young. And because she is but a small child in an adult body (and god only knows how Dear Lucy manages to control her tantrums), she promptly thinks this is a rejection, which makes her weep and because this is a Beatles tribute we cue up a song perfect for "Yesterday" or any day. We then see her vocally vent around New York by which we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Music/JohnLennon memorial. Subtle, very subtle. We end in Bushwick, Rachel showing premature lamenting as for the first time this season, we show you the TitleCard.

Cut to [=McKinley=]; as we've established, this is where we pick up the in-universe school year. Yes, we're to assume that the world of Glee has procured time out of nothing because a month passes before episode 3 and it's still not the end of the school year for another 10 episodes. Have you been to Britain? [[BritishBrevity That's over three series' worth of episodes to them!]] Anyway, Will lays out the lesson, as we get a brief Beatles-esq close up of the able-bodied ND men, complete with a newly-ponytailed Sam; how long was the gap between Will's wedding and nod anyway?! Tina briefly cracks the fourth wall by mentioning the ''two''-week assignment, Will saying this week is early Beatles, next week is later Beatles. Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable; obviously this is the primary cue for everyone to recite Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. After the obvious marching orders, we cut to Kitty on Artie's lap. Hmm. Yes, seems her concerns and motivation to help Artie accept his invite to an the Brooklyn Film Academy has led to non-platonic feelings.[[note]]And since it was never clear whether there were copulations or not, this could be construed as a strictly beard relationship, enforcing the AlternativeCharacterInterpretation that due to the trauma of her AttemptedRape as a preteen, Kitty hid deep in the closet and reinforced the door.[[/note]] Now, since next season ''is'' the final season, we don't really need a lot of spoiler tags, so we'll just say this relationship will shape some of Kitty's character come next season. Anyway, he offers her the now-standard Breadstix, however because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea and they hit the bumper cars, Artie steering and Kitty pedaling all as an excuse to cue up "Drive My Car". So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts) ago]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel, is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work. Afterwards, a new cheerleader called Bree approaches Art-ty? Kit-tie? Dear Murphy, your redundancy is showing, it's like Finn and Quinn all over again. She's posted pictures of them all on Instagram, and Artie thinks she's sweet but Kitty soon informs him that she's a bitch out to destroy her. How have we not met this chick before? FYI, this is new Santana Lopez, because just like original flavor Santana was needed to replace Quinn when Dianna dared to spite the all mighty Murphy by giving Lucy Q a soul, Kitty has also turned to the light side and a new head Cheerio AlphaBitch is required in turn. As you'd surmise, being reminded of [=McKinley=]'s social totem pole has shaken Kitty and thus, as Artie immediately suspected, Kitty wants to keep them on the D/L, which Artie reluctantly agrees to.

Cut to a random NY public bus, where we find Pezberry. In diner uniforms. Yes, it seems that the money Santana's mom gave her ran out, and it also seems Rachel inexplicably decided that she didn't want the Papas Berry to pay the $1800/month rent on the loft. Therefore, they're now waitresses at one of those singing diners, the ones where you get dinner and a show. Have you ever been to one? Because the performers will remind you that bit parts on Broadway don't give you as many solos or tips as this job. From there, we cut to the [=McKinley=] courtyard, where Klaine are having a picnic. Blaine, whom we've established has the boneheaded idea to propose to Kurt, asks [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse what happened to Adam]] and Kurt explains Oliver Kieran-Jones making his appearances by saying "it never got serious", and then, likely knowing where Blaine's heading, reminds him of why they split in the first place. Again. Blaine, officially going for broke, throws away pretense and asks Kurt if they can date again, even though he literally just told Kurt that he thought he was over Blaine. Ridiculous. Kurt accepts. Moronic. Guess what, though? Blaine apparently anticipated all of this beforehand because a marching band comes in, Blaine's way of telling Kurt he's "Got to Get You Into My Life". They hit the BigDamnKiss in front of a crowd who is clearly cheering the marching band as we go to break.

We return to a ForegoneConclusion, as the Tracksuit Titan makes her return, her loyal Becky confessing about [[Recap/GleeS4E18ShootingStar carrying a 9MM]] and got popped for a month's suspension. The school board begged for her to be principal. This makes sense. However, seems being a personal trainer got her engorged with the most venom and triumph we've seen thus far, as she promptly uses a copy of Literature/MeinKampf, a deed handing parts of the school to a fracking company, and a polygamy marriage certificate, among other disturbing things to get Figgins bumped down to janitor. Yes folks, once again the TyrantTakesTheHelm, though this time it's permanent. This makes no sense, except to put Sue in place as the uber-BigBad; therefore more than ever, New Directions' time is ticking, for this is the setup to events which will form the foundation of the show's DorkAge. And now, MoodWhiplash as we cut to Artie and Kitty vocally lament how they're basically being told "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away", while we a montage of their secret meetings in the only location in all of [=McKinley=] that absolutely everyone's secret meetings take place: the astronomy classroom. Afterwards, we're back to the choir room, where we get a special announcement: sadly remembering his original intentions, Blaine wants to propose to Kurt. Hmm. Wants a proposal after literally ''just'' reuniting. Yep, this qualifies: for the first time this season, Blaine, you're an idiot. Only Sam reacts positively, likely wishing he was Kurt oh who are we kidding. After calming Trouty down, Blaine wants this to be incredible. What's really incredible, and by that we of course mean very stupid, is this whole plotline. He wants ND's help natch, but also dares to want help from their competitors, like the Warbles (eh), and Vocal Adrenaline (what) and Haverbrook (huh). We get the expected and appreciated collective WTF, while Blaine responds with a speech about how people have become more accepting. Artie, with Lucy now graduated, decides to be this season's spokesperson against teen marriage. At least it's not like he can get paralyzed in a car accident ''again''. Of course, the objection is that he's too young, not that he's literally just got back together with Kurt, and Kurt wasn't exactly enthusiastic. But Blaine doesn't want to waste any time in case he loses his chance. Nonetheless, this leads to a song that makes us wanna scream "HELP!", as ND abandon school in the middle of it because of course, eventually winding up at Carmel (apparently a VA without a director is a friendlier VA), Haverbrook, and finally Dalton, where apparently Sebastian has resumed command after the HGH fallout from last season. Afterwards, MoralityPet Trent calls for a vote and Sebastian makes it official, his HeelFaceTurn evidentally complete. This is of course Creator/GrantGustin's last appearance on Glee; three months later, we'd see him in [[Recap/ArrowS2E8TheScientist Starling City]] for events that would eventually lead to a date with a [[Series/TheFlash2014 bolt of lightning]].

After the break, we're at Artie's locker as Tina approaches; remember, her entire existence since the start of last season has been to be a general bitch along with whatever Murphy wants her to be. In this case, it's to react to Artie dating Kitty, accusing Artie of being too accepting of being a dirty little secret. She sorta kinda makes a point, but the ''way'' she's making it cancels out the good intentions. Artie tells her to butt out as we return to the diner, where Rachel receives a text from Blaine about helping him with the proposal, but Santana trumps that by pointing out Dr Cullen and Reed Richards in her section. Putting priorities in order, Rachel approaches him and naturally this is the setup to put the "sing" in singing diner, a little "Hard Day's Night" for the mood. This is the first of at least three Michele/Rivera duets this season, and as you'll see, Pezberry will proceed to define the term "Frenenmies". Dr Cullen stands bemused as afterwards, forgetting their responsibilities, Rachel drags Santana out and says they have to do important things at home. Sadly, not resolving all the UST that performance gave. Well, not the UST that's shown, at least.

After the break, we're in the Principal dungeon, where Will and Roz Washington are waiting. Both are clearly squirming on the hook, Roz even confessing to doping to get her bronze medal, along with credit card fraud. The Tyrant in question then arrives as it seems that though we know otherwise, her job is a temp job, and in order for it to be permanent, [=McKinley=] will have to be perfect in all areas. Basically, if ND and the Cheerios! don't have Nationals wins, Roz and Will are fired. No, she can't do that: she'll just cut the programs. Even Cheerios? Yes, if it will help her keep her position as principal. Some lady-loving former students of yours are about to return to give you an epic verbal beatdown, Sue. Back to the choir room, where to no one's shock, Tina tells the glee club that Kitty and Artie are dating. Kitty then reveals that yes it was on the D/L, but not just because [=McKinley=], but also because it was a trial run before she put their relationship out for criticism. They are ("shockingly") officially dating. We get a smooch to confirm as we go to break.

We return to Blaine and all non-Artie ND men. Seems he's finally picked up on Tina's Murphy-enduced bitterness, and they need to cheer her up. We'll follow up on that as we get a detour to new janitor Figgins. Sue arrives to twist the knife, then torture him with "Carmina Burana" and [[{{Squick}} dubious animal parts]], then reveals that as soon as Becky returns to school that the girl will become her new secretary -- Beckretary. That's most definitely not legal. Cut to the auditorium where Tina arrives in 60's attire. Yes folks, we're going full Ed Sullivan for "I Saw Her Standing There", Blaine as [[Music/PaulMcCartney Paul]], Sam as [[Music/GeorgeHarrison George]], Ryder as [[Music/RingoStarr Ringo]], Jake as Half-Black [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon]] and Artie behind the monitors. Cue the rest of the ND girls as your basic screaming fangirls, Creator/MelissaBenoist being especially funny in this sequence. Afterwards, this whole exercise is revealed to be Blaine asking Tina to Senior Prom. However, he's taken and can't be picked for prom. Out of the three choices she goes with Sam, maybe because Ryder's a sophomore (we think) and can't go to prom, or because Sam's "the least gay and least Asian". Sam? Ok, he's white as an albino egg whilst Ryder's got a bit of color with brown hair and Blaine is vaguely AmbiguouslyBrown, but he's far from the least gay thing on this show. He's only beaten out by Kurt, Sandy, and the Unholy Trinity. It's been three seasons they've been telling, not showing, that Sam is straight, and it's still not convincing.

We return from break to start the first home stretch of the season, Kurt and Papa Burt ostensibly heading to the airport, but instead Burt takes a shortcut, Kurt figuring out it's so Blaine can pop the question. Now, remember how Burt was dead set against teen marriage when he tried to ruin Finchel's wedding ([[Recap/GleeS3E14OnMyWay and BTW, thank you, truck driver. No, wait, really, no thanks.]]) and [[Recap/GleeS4E21Wonderful told Blaine not to propose to Kurt]] back when the show mostly made sense? Now he's advocating for it; this being because his new story is that he met Kurt's mom young and proposed to her quite early on, and even though it was hard he just wished he'd had more time with her before she died and asked her even sooner. We can guess what caused this sudden in-universe 360, and that would be real-life tragedy seeping into the scripts. Burt tells Kurt to at least listen to Blaine before making a decision. However, methinks neither Hummel was prepared for what's to come. When Kurt enters Dalton, we see the culmination of Blaine's plans, showing that as moronic as this is in context, sometimes, when you get right down to it, "All You Need Is Love". Afterwards, on the very steps where they met three years prior, Blaine gives one of, regardless of context, the most romantic speeches Glee ever wrote:

->''We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. And for those of you who know me know I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before, but I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other, fearlessly and forever. Which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you. It's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime that you and I have ever lived, we have chosen to come back and find each other, and fall in love all over again. Over and over, for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime, because all I wanna do, all I've ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love...''

He drops to a knee, throws the ring up... and clearly so overwhelmed by the entire situation, and thus not exactly in the right frame to say anything else, he of course says yes. Klaine kiss, though you can ''kinda'' see this as emotional manipulation. There's a reason why most of the glee fics on the website archiveofourown.org have the tag "Not Blaine/Klaine Friendly". Nonetheless, here lies the template for the fifth season of Glee, uneven, emotional, and with an undercurrent of tragedy.

We start Season 5 with Rachel coming across a marquee promoting the previously established revival of ''Theater/FunnyGirl''. This is where she'll have her call back for the role of Fanny Brice, which we are so very much aware she'll get. Inside, we find she's auditioning alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. Her scene is cut earlier than she'd hope, so after trying to butter up Mr. Fantastic, she gathers her things long enough to overhear Mr. F and Carlisle say that they think she's too young. And because she is but a small child in an adult body (and god only knows how Dear Lucille manages to control her tantrums), she promptly thinks this is a rejection, which makes her weep and because this is a Beatles tribute we cue up a song perfect for "Yesterday" or any day. We then see her vocally vent around New York by which we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Music/JohnLennon memorial. Subtle, very subtle. We end in Bushwick, Rachel showing premature lamenting as for the first time this season, we show you the TitleCard.

Cut to [=McKinley=]; as we've established, this is where we pick up the in-universe school year. Yes, we're to assume that the world of Glee has procured time out of nothing because a month passes before episode 3 and it's still not the end of the school year for another 10 episodes. Have you been to Britain? [[BritishBrevity That's over three series' worth of episodes to them!]] Anyway, Will lays out the lesson, as we get a brief Beatles-esq close up of the able-bodied ND men, complete with a newly-ponytailed Sam; how long was the gap between Will's wedding and nod anyway?! Tina briefly cracks the fourth wall by mentioning the ''two''-week assignment, Will saying this week is early Beatles, next week is later Beatles. Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatible; obviously this is the primary cue for everyone to recite Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. After the obvious marching orders, we cut to Kitty on Artie's lap. Hmm. Yes, seems her concerns and motivation to help Artie accept his invite to an the Brooklyn Film Academy has led to non-platonic feelings.[[note]]And since it was never clear whether there were copulations or not, this could be construed as a strictly beard relationship, enforcing the AlternativeCharacterInterpretation that due to the trauma of her AttemptedRape as a preteen, Kitty hid deep in the closet and reinforced the door.[[/note]] Now, since next season ''is'' the final season, we don't really need a lot of spoiler tags, so we'll just say this relationship will shape some of Kitty's character come next season. Anyway, he offers her the now-standard Breadstix, however because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea and they hit the bumper cars, Artie steering and Kitty pedaling all as an excuse to cue up "Drive My Car". So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts) ago]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel, is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work. Afterwards, a new cheerleader called Bree approaches Art-ty? Kit-tie? Dear Murphy, your redundancy is showing, it's like Finn and Quinn all over again. She's posted pictures of them all on Instagram, and Artie thinks she's sweet but Kitty soon informs him that she's a bitch out to destroy her. How have we not met this chick before? FYI, this is new Santana Lopez, because just like original flavor Santana was needed to replace Quinn when Dianna dared to spite the all mighty Murphy by giving Lucy Q a soul, Kitty has also turned to the light side and a new head Cheerio AlphaBitch is required in turn. As you'd surmise, being reminded of [=McKinley=]'s social totem pole has shaken Kitty and thus, as Artie immediately suspected, Kitty wants to keep them on the D/L, which Artie reluctantly agrees to.

This was an uneven season, to say the ''very'' least, not only because of a slightly reduced order (two episodes less than usual, 20 instead of 22), but because as we mentioned last time, due to accommodating a guest star, the filming of the last part of Season 4 was delayed long enough to where certain plot elements had to be resolved here. The first 13 episodes will resolve those plots, as well as graduate the remaining veterans of New Directions. That of course leaves seven episodes remaining... and we'll warn you know, that stretch will representing Glee at its absolute worse.

We return to a ForegoneConclusion, as the Tracksuit Titan makes her return, her loyal Becky confessing about [[Recap/GleeS4E18ShootingStar carrying a 9MM]] and got popped for a month's suspension. The school board begged for her to be principal. This makes sense. However, seems being a personal trainer got her engorged with the most venom and triumph we've seen thus far, as she promptly uses a copy of Literature/MeinKampf, a deed handing parts of the school to a fracking company, and a polygamy marriage certificate, among other disturbing things to get Figgins bumped down to janitor. Yes folks, once again the TyrantTakesTheHelm, though this time it's permanent. This makes no sense, except to put Sue in place as the uber-BigBad; therefore more than ever, New Directions' time is ticking, for this is the setup to events which will form the foundation of the show's DorkAge. And now, MoodWhiplash as we cut to Artie and Kitty vocally lament how they're basically being told "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away", while we a montage of their secret meetings in the only location in all of [=McKinley=] that absolutely everyone's secret meetings take place: the astronomy classroom. Afterwards, we're back to the choir room, where we get a special announcement: sadly remembering his original intentions, Blaine wants to propose to Kurt. Hmm. Wants a proposal after literally ''just'' reuniting. Yep, this qualifies: for the first time this season, Blaine, you're an idiot. Only Sam reacts positively, likely wishing he was Kurt oh who are we kidding. After calming Trouty down, Blaine wants this to be incredible. What's really incredible, and by that we of course mean very stupid, is this whole plotline. He wants ND's help natch, but also dares to want help from their competitors, like the Warbles (eh), and Vocal Adrenaline (what) and Haverbrook (huh). We get the expected and appreciated collective WTF, while Blaine responds with a speech about how people have become more accepting. {{YMMV}} on that one folks. Artie, with Lucy now graduated, decides to be this season's spokesperson against teen marriage. At least it's not like he can get paralyzed in a car accident ''again''. Of course, the objection is that he's too young, not that he's literally just got back together with Kurt, and Kurt wasn't exactly enthusiastic. But Blaine doesn't want to waste any time in case he loses his chance. Nonetheless, this leads to a song that makes us wanna scream "HELP!", as ND abandon school in the middle of it because of course, eventually winding up at Carmel (apparently a VA without a director is a friendlier VA), Haverbrook, and finally Dalton, where apparently Sebastian has resumed command after the HGH fallout from last season. Afterwards, MoralityPet Trent calls for a vote and Sebastian makes it official, his HeelFaceTurn evidentally complete. This is of course Creator/GrantGustin's last appearance on Glee; three months later, we'd see him in [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/ArrowS2E8TheScientist Starling City]] for events that would eventually lead to a date with a [[Series/TheFlash2014 bolt of lightning]].

We start Season 5 with Rachel coming across a marquee promoting the previously established revival of ''Theater/FunnyGirl''. This is where she'll have her call back for the role of Fanny Brice, which we are so very much aware she'll get. Inside, we find she's auditioning alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. Her scene is cut earlier than she'd hope, so after trying to butter up Mr. Fantastic, she gathers her things long enough to overhear Mr. F and Carlisle say that they think she's too young. And because she is but a small child in an adult body (and god only knows how Dear Lucille manages to control her tantrums), she promptly thinks this is a rejection, which makes her weep and because this is a Beatles tribute we cue up a song perfect for "Yesterday" or any day. We then see her vocally vent around New York by which we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Music/JohnLennon memorial. Subtle, very subtle. We end in Bushwick, Rachel showing premature lamenting as for the first time, we show you the TitleCard.

To kick off season 5, there's a two-episode tribute to Music/TheBeatles. Then we're to assume that the world of Glee has procured time out of nothing because a month passes before episode 3 and it's still not the end of the school year for another 10 episodes. Have you been to Britain? [[BritishBrevity That's over three series' worth of episodes to them!]]

Rachel is auditioning for ''Theatre/FunnyGirl'' alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. They think she's too young. Because she is but a small child in an adult body (and god only knows how Dear Lucille manages to control her tantrums), this makes her cry and because she's crying she sings a Beatles song around New York. And by New York we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Music/JohnLennon memorial.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea. So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts) ago]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel, is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work.

After the montage, a new cheerleader called Bree approaches Art-ty? Kit-tie? Dear Murphy, your redundancy is showing, it's like Finn and Quinn all over again. She's posted pictures of them all on Instagram, and Artie thinks she's sweet but Kitty soon informs him that she's a bitch out to destroy her. How have we not met this chick before? FYI, this is new Santana Lopez, because just like original flavor Santana was needed to replace Quinn when Dianna dared to spite the all mighty Murphy by giving Lucy Q a soul, Kitty has also turned to the light side and a new head Cheerio AlphaBitch is required in turn. Artie and Kitty then start dating, but in secret.

In New York, Santana has got Rachel a job at a singing diner. Have you ever been to one? Because the performers will remind you that bit parts on Broadway don't give you as many solos or tips as this job. Cut to [=McKinley=], where Klaine are having a picnic. Blaine asks [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse what happened to Adam]] and Kurt explains Oliver's disappearance by "it just didn't get serious", and then says he came to Lima to confront Blaine about him cheating. Again. Blaine asks Kurt if they can date again, even though he literally just told Kurt that he thought he was over Blaine. Kurt accepts. Ridiculous. Guess what, though? Blaine apparently knew about his spontaneous plan beforehand because a marching band comes joining the couple in song.

Sue's back. After Becky confessed to [[Recap/GleeS4E18ShootingStar the school shooting]] and the school board begged for her to be principal. This makes sense. Figgins is also the janitor because she snuck into his office and planted a copy of Literature/MeinKampf, a deed handing parts of the school to a fracking company, and a polygamy marriage certificate, among other disturbing things, there to get him arrested. This makes no sense, except to put Sue in place as the uber-Big Bad.

Kitty and Artie duet to a montage of their secret meetings in the only location in all of [=McKinley=] that absolutely everyone's secret meetings take place: the astronomy classroom.

Then we see a special glee club announcement: Blaine wants to propose to Kurt. He gets everyone in Ohio to "help" him do this. Artie, with Lucy now graduated, decides to be this season's spokesperson against teen marriage. At least it's not like he can get paralysed in a car accident ''again''. Of course, the objection is that he's too young, not that he's literally just got back together with Kurt, and Kurt wasn't exactly enthusiastic. But Blaine doesn't want to waste any time in case he loses his chance, even though Finn has yet to die InUniverse. The show choirs, to a signed (and sung) version of "Help!" agree to perform as a proposal, because Blaine's still doing it, including the Warblers, [[{{Series/TheFlash2014}} Grant Gustin]] making his final appearance as Sebastian. Blaine then texts the New York crew to get them to come and perform, too. A ridiculously wasteful journey.

Tina confronts Artie about his relationship with Kitty. Nothing happens.

Rachel spots Dr Cullen and Reed Richards in the diner and sings to them with Santana's help so he'll give her the role. It works, too. After the performance, forgetting their responsibilities, Rachel drags Santana out and says they have to do important things at home. Sadly, not resolving all the UST that performance gave. Well, not the UST that's shown, at least.

Back at [=McKinley=] once again, Roz and Will are waiting for Sue in her office. They think they're going to be fired because Sue doesn't like either of them, and because Roz is actually some kind of criminal, including cheating to win her bronze medal in Beijing, China. No, Sue's just here to tell them that they will be fired if they don't both win at Nationals. No, she can't do that: she'll just cut the programs. Even Cheerios? Yes, if it will help her keep her position as principal. Some lady-loving former students of yours are about to return to give you an epic verbal beatdown, Sue. Tina then tells the glee club that Kitty and Artie are dating, and after revealing that she was having a trial run before she put their relationship out for criticism Kitty confirms that they are ("shockingly") officially dating.

Sue starts bullying Figgins and says that as soon as Becky returns to school (she got a month's suspension and no record for the gun thing) that the girl will become her new secretary -- Beckretary. That's most definitely not legal. Blaine gets the boys to perform for Tina and ask her to prom because she's become bitter and they need to cheer her up. The four he picks each choose a member of the Beatles to impersonate, including Jake as black Lennon. Melissa Benoist is particularly funny in this sequence. However, he's taken and can't be picked for prom. Out of the three choices she goes with Sam, maybe because Ryder's a sophomore (we think) and can't go to prom, or because Sam's "the least gay and least Asian". Sam? Ok, he's white as an albino egg whilst Ryder's got a bit of color with brown hair and Blaine is vaguely AmbiguouslyBrown, but he's far from the least gay thing on this show. He's only beaten out by Kurt, Sandy, and the Unholy Trinity. It's been three seasons they've been telling, not showing, that Sam is straight, and it's still not convincing.

Remember how Burt was dead set against teen marriage when he tried to ruin Finchel's wedding ([[Recap/GleeS3E14OnMyWay and BTW, thank you, truck driver. No, wait, really, no thanks.]]) and [[Recap/GleeS4E21Wonderful told Blaine not to propose to Kurt]] back when the show mostly made sense? Now he's advocating for it. (This is because his new story is that he met Kurt's mom young and proposed to her quite early on, and even though it was hard he just wished he'd had more time with her before she died and asked her even sooner. Because even though Finn isn't dead yet, Cory was.) Kurt is driven to Dalton so all of his friends and enemies can help Blaine propose to him, Blaine popping the question in the spot where they first met on the stairs. Kurt is literally overwhelmed, has no idea what to do, and eventually says yes.

* DemotedToExtra: Everybody except Creator/LeaMichele, Creator/ChrisColfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Creator/NayaRivera, and Creator/KevinMcHale (and Creator/DarrenCriss) is demoted to recurring (except Creator/DiannaAgron, who they've finally booted out completely [she gets added to the guest star list later], and Creator/CoryMonteith, who thanks to StockFootage still gets more episodes than Dianna) with all the newbies being promoted to main cast. Nobody really liked this.

** Some of the anti-teen marriage characters becoming supportive, hopefully added because Cory had just died rather than for bad writing.

* DemotedToExtra: Everybody except Creator/LeaMichele, Creator/ChrisColfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Naya Rivera, and Creator/KevinMcHale (and Creator/DarrenCriss) is demoted to recurring (except Creator/DiannaAgron, who they've finally booted out completely [she gets added to the guest star list later], and Creator/CoryMonteith, who thanks to StockFootage still gets more episodes than Dianna) with all the newbies being promoted to main cast. Nobody really liked this.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea. So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts) ago]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, [[strike: in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel]], is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work.

To kick off season 5, there's a two-episode tribute to TheBeatles. Then we're to assume that the world of Glee has procured time out of nothing because a month passes before episode 3 and it's still not the end of the school year for another 10 episodes. Have you been to Britain? [[BritishBrevity That's over three series' worth of episodes to them!]]

Rachel is auditioning for ''Theatre/FunnyGirl'' alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. They think she's too young. Because she is but a small child in an adult body (and god only knows how Dear Lucille manages to control her tantrums), this makes her cry and because she's crying she sings a Beatles song around New York. And by New York we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Creator/JohnLennon memorial.

* DemotedToExtra: Everybody except Creator/LeaMichele, Creator/ChrisColfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Naya Rivera, and Creator/KevinMcHale (and Creator/DarrenCriss) are demoted to recurring (except Creator/DiannaAgron, who they've finally booted out completely [she gets added to the guest star list later], and Creator/CoryMonteith, [[TheCharacterDiedWithHim who died]] but thanks to StockFootage still gets more episodes than Dianna) with all the newbies being promoted to main cast. Nobody really liked this.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea. So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts ago)]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, [[strike: in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel]], is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be repeatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival, it was Artie's idea. So... [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother a year and a half (or thereabouts ago)]], he told Quinn post-accident that they couldn't go to amusement parks due to the chairs, yet he takes mini-Lucy to an amusement park. As this is going on, in New Haven, Quinn, [[strike: in between sessions of pleasuring herself to thoughts of Rachel]], is getting ready to deprive him of the few parts of his anatomy that still work.

Sue's back. After Becky confessed to [[Recap/GleeS4E18ShootingStar the school shooting]] and the school board begged for her to be principal. This makes sense. Figgins is also the janitor because she snuck into his office and planted a copy of Literature.MeinKampf, a deed handing parts of the school to a fracking company, and a polygamy marriage certificate, among other disturbing things, there to get him arrested. This makes no sense, except to put Sue in place as the uber-Big Bad.

Rachel is auditioning for ''Theatre/FunnyGirl'' alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. They think she's too young. Because she is a little baby, this makes her cry and because she's crying she sings a Beatles song around New York. And by New York we mean the most memorable parts of Central Park, minus Strawberry Fields. You know, the Creator/JohnLennon memorial.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival; it was Artie's idea, and [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother Quinn's getting ready to kill him.]] After the montage, a new cheerleader called Bree approaches Art-ty? Kit-tie? Dear Murphy, it's like Finn and Quinn all over again. She's posted pictures of them all on Instagram, and Artie thinks she's sweet but Kitty soon informs him that she's a bitch out to destroy her. How have we not met this chick before? FYI, this is new Santana Lopez, because just like original flavor Santana was needed to replace Quinn when Dianna did the-acting-that-shall-not-be-named, Kitty has also turned to the light side and a new head Cheerio AlphaBitch is required in town. Artie and Kitty then start dating, but in secret.

In New York, Santana has got Rachel a job at the singing diner. Have you ever been to one? Because the performers will remind you that bit parts on Broadway don't give you as many solos or tips as this job. Cut to [=McKinley=], where Klaine are having a picnic. Blaine asks [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse what happened to Adam]] and Kurt explains Oliver's disappearance by "it just didn't get serious", and then says he came to Lima to confront Blaine about him cheating. Again. Blaine asks Kurt if they can date again, even though he literally just told Kurt that he thought he was over Blaine. Kurt accepts. Ridiculous. Guess what, though? Blaine apparently knew about his spontaneous plan beforehand because a marching band comes joining the couple in song.

Sue's back. After Becky confessed to [[Recap/GleeS4E18ShootingStar the school shooting]] and the school board begged for her to be principal. This makes sense. Figgins is also the janitor because she snuck into his office and planted a copy of Literature.MeinKampf, a deed handing parts of the school to a fracking company, and a polygamy marriage certificate, among other disturbing things, there to get him arrested.

Then we see a special glee club announcement: Blaine wants to propose to Kurt. He gets everyone in Ohio to "help" him do this. Artie, with Lucy now graduated, decides to be this season's spokesperson against teen marriage. At least it's not like he can get paralysed in a car accident ''again''. Of course, the objection is that he's too young, not that he's literally just got back together with Kurt, and Kurt wasn't exactly enthusiastic. But Blaine doesn't want to waste any time in case he loses his chance, even though Finn has yet to die InUniverse. The show choirs, to a signed (and sung) version of "Help!" agree to perform as a proposal, because Blaine's still doing it, including the Warblers, Grant Gustin making his final appearance as Sebastian. Blaine then texts the New York crew to get them to come and perform, too. A ridiculously wasteful journey.

Rachel spots Dr Cullen and Reed Richards in the diner and sings to them with Santana's help so he'll give her the role. It works, too. After the performance, forgetting their responsibilities, Rachel drags Santana out and says they have to do important things at home. Sadly, not resolving all the UST that performance gave. Well, not that is shown, at least.

Sue starts bullying Figgins and says that as soon as Becky returns to school (she got a month's suspension and no record for the gun thing) that the girl will become her new secretary -- Beckretary. That's most definitely not legal. Blaine gets the boys to perform for Tina and ask her to prom because she's become bitter and they need to cheer her up. The four he picks each choose a member of the Beatles to impersonate, including Jake as black Lennon. However, he's taken and can't be picked for prom. Out of the three choices she goes with Sam, maybe because Ryder's a sophomore (we think) and can't go to prom, or because Sam's "the least gay and least Asian". Sam? Ok, he's white as an albino egg whilst Ryder's got a bit of color with brown hair and Blaine is vaguely AmbiguouslyBrown, but he's far from the least gay thing on this show. He's only beaten out by Kurt, Sandy, and the Unholy Trinity. It's been three seasons they've been telling, not showing, that Sam is straight, and it's still not convincing.

Remember how Burt was dead set against teen marriage when he tried to ruin Finchel's wedding ([[Recap/GleeS3E14OnMyWay thank you, truck driver. No, wait, really no thanks.]]) and [[Recap/GleeS4E21Wonderful told Blaine not to propose to Kurt]] back when the show mostly made sense? Now he's advocating for it. (This is because his new story is that he met Kurt's mom young and proposed to her quite early on, and even though it was hard he just wished he'd had more time with her before she died and asked her even sooner. Because even though Finn isn't dead yet, Cory was.) Kurt is driven to Dalton so all of his friends and enemies can help Blaine propose to him, Blaine popping the question in the spot where they first met on the stairs. Kurt is literally overwhelmed, has no idea what to do, and eventually says yes.

* DemotedToExtra: What's left of the old main cast except Creator/LeaMichele, Creator/ChrisColfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Naya Rivera, and Creator/KevinMcHale (and Creator/DarrenCriss) are demoted to recurring (except Creator/DiannaAgron, who they've finally booted out completely [she gets added to the guest star list later], and Creator/CoryMonteith, [[TheCharacterDiedWithHim who died]] but still gets more episodes than Dianna) with all the newbies being promoted to main cast. Nobody really liked this.
* {{Hypocrite}}: Artie told Quinn that they couldn't go to a theme park because they were paralysed in season 3. He takes his girlfriend to a theme park this episode.

When Will announces that the Beatles is their two-week project, Kitty asks how "a band from TheForties" can be relatable. Obviously this is the primary cue for everyone reciting Murphy's lines on how good a lesson this is. Artie asks Kitty to sit on his lap and he'll give her a ride then take her out to Breadstix. She agrees, but because we're all sick of Breadstix, she says they should go to the carnival that has conveniently opened up in Lima. So now all of New Directions goes to a carnival; it was Artie's idea, and [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother Quinn's getting ready to kill him.]] After the montage, a new cheerleader called Bree approaches Art-ty? Kit-tie? Dear Murphy, it's like Finn and Quinn all over again. She's posted pictures of them all on {{Instagram}}, and Artie thinks she's sweet but Kitty soon informs him that she's a bitch out to destroy her. How have we not met this chick before? FYI, this is new Santana Lopez, because just like original flavor Santana was needed to replace Quinn when Dianna did the-acting-that-shall-not-be-named, Kitty has also turned to the light side and a new head Cheerio AlphaBitch is required in town. Artie and Kitty then start dating, but in secret.

Rachel is auditioning for ''Theatre/FunnyGirl'' alongside [[Film/FantasticFour Mr Fantastic]], and the director is [[Film/{{Twilight}} Carlisle Cullen]]. He thinks she's too young.

New Directions goes to a carnival. It was Artie's idea. [[Recap/GleeS3E15BigBrother Quinn's getting ready to kill him.]]

Blaine wants to propose to Kurt, he gets everyone in Ohio to ''help'' him do this.

Rachel spots Dr Cullen in the diner and sings to him with Santana's help so he'll give her the role. It works, too.

%%WIP

* DemotedToExtra: What's left of the old main cast except Creator/LeaMichele, Creator/ChrisColfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Naya Rivera, and Creator/KevinMcHale (and Creator/DarrenCriss) are demoted to recurring (except Creator/DiannaAgron, who they've finally booted out completely [she gets added to the guest star list later], and Creator/CoryMonteith, [[TheCharacterDiedWithHim who died]] but still gets more episodes than Dianna [5 to her 2]) with all the newbies being promoted to main cast. Nobody really liked this.