History Recap / GleeS3E5TheFirstTime

* {{Hypocrite}}s: Artie's (and Finn's) opinions on losing your virginity, and Puck telling Finn that it's "not cool" to cheat on his girlfriend.

* TheMusical
* PlaysGreatEthnics: Invoked InUniverse with any student who is even a bit foreign being made to be a Puerto Rican extra. Santana, the only actual Hispanic, takes the role of Anita. There's also Jewish Rachel and Puck, Korean-American Tina, and Irish Rory. Averted with Chinese Mike playing New Yorker Riff, as it's a main role so more cast on talent.

* TheirFirstTime: The point of the episode.

* NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp: No Tracksuit nor Mercedes nor Sugar, the first of seven absences Sugar makes.

Before we get to business, it should be noted that this episode was the second (after "[[Recap/GleeS2E15Sexy Sexy]]") to be given a content warning, received for the same reasons that it caused a lot of controversy: the outright discussion and depictions of teenage sex with the implied suggestion that kids shouldn't wait to have sex even if they want to, the equal discussion of sexual relations by a student and teacher, and the inference of the rape of a 13-year-old.

That said, we start with an Artie V/O, talking about he's found his calling as a director. To be specific, he seems to really enjoy the bossing people around part, as we see him critique Rachel and her choice of costumes (um, Rae? It's ''Theatre/WestSideStory'', not ''Theater/FunnyGirl'', the outfits aren't that elaborate). He's happy TheMusical is days away; as it's about a month into school, getting it ready this quickly was an unbelievable feat! We cut to Artie, Beiste, and Emma are watching Blaine and Rachel rehearse the trademark MassiveMultiplayerEnsembleNumber. Afterwards, Artie says that while the vocals are good, the song itself is about sexual awakening, and while they're not quite performing ''Theatre/SpringAwakening'' (what a warning that would get!), they aren't exactly singing as if they want to jump each other. Reason being of course is that Blainechel has unpunched V-Cards, so therefore lack the experience needed for the song's context. This sudden turn into teh sexy causes the adult virgins (they would be Beiste and Emma) to haul ass as Artie talks about how amazing his first time with Brittany was, even though he was mad at her about it, though that was because of the emotional elements, or lack there of in Brit's case. Calling Artie by the wrong name four times didn't help either and do we ''really'' have to guess what name he was called? He then asks what it was like for Blainechel and of course they stammer and demure, stating they're waiting for the right time. Artie provides the situation mentioned above; asking how they can convey the human experience to an audience when they haven't even opened themselves up to one of humanity's most basic and primal ones? Blainechel contemplate as we hit the TitleCard.

Cut to Finn putting up Rachel's campaign posters; yes she's still running. We then find out that Finn's still undecided on who to vote for, Rachel offering a liplock as an attempt to sway him in her favor. Said liplock is slightly more sensual than usual (yes, we used the word "sensual" in regards to something involving Finn. We're sad too); when asked what's up, she says it's confidence of success. She's doing three sold out shows, she's ahead in the polls, and she has Finn. One out of three's... okay. However, Finn displays his skewed priorities as he says a football recruiter for Ohio State is coming to watch the latest Titans game. Rachel says their dreams are coming true and that they're growing up. And then, Finn inadvertently provides the means for Rachel to grow up in a big way as he mentions Burt and Carole are campaigning and thus he has the house to himself. Rachel immediately realizes the opportunity to sleep with him without it looking forced. Annnnd hello images. Non-Finchel fans, prepare for the worst. As Finn starts to realize the implications, we cut to Klaine in Blaine's room. Blaine is practicing moves when Kurt inexplicably asks if Blaine thinks he's sexually boring. Um, Hummel? You're as pure as the driven snow. Simmer down. As it turns out, both of them are consciously avoiding going any farther than making out. Kurt wonders if Blaine's ever had the drive to get wild; he says yes, but that's why they invented ADateWithRosiePalms. Point is that comfort takes precedence over passion, that and since Kurt enjoys his layers, by the time he's stripped down, the mood would be gone.

Cut to Beiste welding in the auditorium as Artie approaches, asking why Beiste was so uncomfortable when he brought up sex, quickly asking if it's because she's a virgin. This is very awkwardly shoehorned into the episode, because any teacher around when their students are being told to have sex should very rightly be uncomfortable because it's really inappropriate, which is what the reaction looked like, and also the response that should have been given to Artie (who shouldn't have even asked). Glee's hold on realism: Negative 273.15%. Anyway, Beiste reveals she does have a thing for someone. His name is Cooter Menkins, the aforementioned recruiter for Ohio State, and to be referred to here as "CtR" or Cooter The Recruiter. You'll see why in due course. After a brief cut to him being turned off by her eating habits, and a cut back to Beiste's lament, we cut to Dalton Academy for the first time this season. Blaine is in his old stomping grounds to invite the Warblers to see the musical. Of course, since Dalton is famous for its sudden performances, Blaine finds himself inadvertently getting himself into said performance because of the YaoiFangirls that wanted more Warblers in their Glee.

And now for a fun case of RetroactiveRecognition. After the sudden Music/BillyJoel, we're introduced to Sebastian Smythe, a very gay meerkat-lookalike... and an alternate universe doppelganger of one [[Series/TheFlash2014 Barry Allen]]. Yes folks, three years before becoming the Fastest Man Alive, Creator/GrantGustin got his first major TV role on Glee. And to those reading these recaps having never seen Grant on Glee and only knowing him as Barry, two things: He's got great pipes, and Sebastian is a textbook case of PlayingAgainstType. Anyway, Sebastian and Blaine meet, Seb apparently new on the scene and only knowing of Blaine's rep second hand. Blaine is clearly intimidated by Seb's confidence, Seb asking if Blaine left Dalton due to being a heartbreaker. As Blaine stammers, we intercut with Rachtana rehearsing their WSS number, appropriate for this context. Afterwards, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime, leaving him floored. Cut to Puck in the locker room, Finn finding him and asking him for his choice of prophylactic. We're now about to get a ladder and slap Finn upside the head because that was a stupid question - Puck doesn't use condoms. Works out about 99% of the time, and the 1% that didn't is Puck's daughter. Puck assumes that Finn's going to cheat on Rachel, which he tells him off for, only for Finn to reveal that he wants to ''use'' them... more imagery. Hudson, you make us sad. Especially with what's to come next episode. Anyway, this is interrupted by Beiste introducing CtR, and they flirt, which the boys think is gross. Events to come will dictate this a smart mindset. He reveals he'll be attending the next game, and Finn's eyes light up.

And as an aside, this is also where we see Rory decked out in a [[ColorCodedCharacters green Phys. Ed. shirt, with green shorts shorter than a Cheerios' skirt, green-striped tube socks, and a pair of green converse]]. Because Glee revels in ALL OF TEH STEREOTYPES.

Cut to Klaine discussing being too sheltered, Blaine saying WSS is about living outside the comfort zone. Kurt agrees, bringing up his beautifully innocent bucket list[[note]]Among which is 5: Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Creator/TaylorLautner before he gets fat, 63: Lay a rose of the birthplace of Noel Coward, 85: Get into Julliard, 86: Arriving at school in a hot air balloon, 87: Become CEO of Logo, 88: Find the right colognes to match my unique body chemistry, 89: Attend a circuit party on an island.[[/note]]. Blaine somewhat subtly implies they should have sex pretty soon, then walks away. Kurt contemplates as we cut to CtR and Artie finding him, taking him to the auditorium and asking if he likes Beiste. Arthur, you mean well, but no bby. CtR reveals he's asked her out repeatedly and was rejected repeatedly. Artie, this sudden obsession with sex means either you're secretly the kinkiest bastard in Lima or you've got blue balls the size of baseballs. Either way, stop. Cut to Seblaine at the Lima Bean, which is their equivalent of Faberry's bathroom but with even more [[{{UST}} Sexual Tension]]. As it turns out, Sebastian's from France and wanted courvoisier in his coffee. Blaine tries to tell Seb he has Kurt, but as you've probably figured out by now, Seb cares naught. Speak of the Hummel and he will appear, asserting himself and baring claws. Seb invites Klaine to Scandals, a gay club in West Lima with fake ID's. Blaine, apparently naive, accepts while Kurt stands stoic.

Cut to Casa de Hummel-Hudson, where Finn has made dinner for Rachel, who is amazed at how the "meat substitute" tasted just like real mate. Yep, Finn forgot that she's vegan and of course doesn't tell her that she just ate real meat. Finn, you're a idiot. In any case, it's presumed Mike, likely the only sexually active ND member who uses condoms, told him where to get some and he really wants to use one right about now instead of being dumped. After a toast to four months of no fighting and no threats of splitting, huzzah, Rachel then suggests they snuggle by the fireplace, and most people would probably go for a round with the sack of potatoes instead of taste whatever he made for dessert. The fire is set and... cue the NoJustNoReaction as Finchel prepare for coupling; Turns out Rachel also brought condoms, and where she got them from we ''really'' don't want to find out. Thankfully, we're spared the sight as Rachel's ego chooses to arise, her telling Finn that she has to get laid before opening night, and this makes Finn feel crappy. After the break, Mike is at his locker when Mike Sr. slams the door and demands to know when Jr was gonna tell him about WSS, seems he over heard Mrs. Chang. Mike lied to his father and made a liar out of his mother, therefore he will quit. However, Jr. grows a backbone and asserts himself, leading to Sr. hitting Jr. with IHaveNoSon. Stereotypes are our friend. So is Beiste, and we cut to her working out as CtR approaches and makes it really clear that they should date. He brought flowers, and then says that he only dates "beautiful women, like [Beiste]"[[spoiler:, which will become HilariousInHindsight when we get to the final season]].

Cut to Rachel assembling Tina and the Unholy Trinity, AKA the girls that she knows aren't virgins for their opinions on losing their virginity. You'd think that they'd be quite positive, given the fact that they've all done it, but they're not. Quinn states Finn and Rachel should wait because of her not waiting herself and ending up pregnant, and because it complicates relationships. She continues to say that not only was what she remembers of her first time terrible, and that there is the risk of pregnancy, but mainly that it changes you, it takes something from you that you can't ever get back. This sounds a bit like Burt's speech to Kurt from season 2, but also a bit romantic. It's clear that Quinn regrets giving her virginity to Puck, Rachel, and obviously wishes she gave it to you, as do we all. Santana also thinks Rachel should wait, saying how terrible sex with boys is while offering up specifically how terrible quick-shot Hudson was. In fact...

->"''It was like being smothered by a sweaty, out-of-breath, sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray.''"

And then we get to Brittany, who tells the audience that she lost her virginity at 13 when someone just came into her tent and fucked her, claiming an "alien invasion". This is completely ignored and we can only hope either she's just being Brittany or that it was actually Santana who did it, and Brittany knew but isn't giving all the details... because otherwise she just admitted to being raped and no one batted an eye. Horrifyingly, the flippant way Brittany says it tells us the worst. And yes, there is at least one fanfic. Sigh.

Tina offers a counterpoint in the form of a positive review of Mike's efforts, saying that because they planned it and they love each other she has no regrets. As with the Seblaine conversation earlier, this is intercut with another WSS number, the context making it seem like ''Rachtana'' are going to do it ([[CallBack after their]] [[IncrediblyLamePun du-et]]).

After the break, we're at Scandals, as Klaine arrives to meet the meerkat with fake ID's in hand. After meeting a bouncer who clearly doesn't even care anymore, we see that it is in fact "Drag Queen Wednesday", with some in their finery. Klaine, clearly intimidated, come across Sebastian, who offer drinks and passive-aggressive flirting and insults. Cut to Kurt at the bar while Seblaine get their steps on, clearly stewing. A familiar voice tells him to watch his boyfriend, and then A WILD DAVE KAROFSKY APPEARS! Yep, seems that while he's not out publicly, especially since transferring to his new school, Dave has accepted his identity, talking about how he feels right in a place like this really shitty gay bar. It's clear Kurt and Dave have made amends and it's kinda sweet. What's not sweet is Kurt seeing Seblaine dance and get his dander up, Blaine dancing up with the meerkat causing Kurt to awkwardly thrust himself between the pair. Sebastian backs off for now, living to fight another day. Cut to Kurt leading a tanked Blaine towards his car. And this is where things go south; Kurt tries to pour Blaine into the backseat, only for him to pull Kurt on top of him and go for the waistband. As you'd surmise, the boy is less than pleased and pushes Blaine off of him. Blaine, hurt for some reason, starts walking when Kurt asks him to calm down. When Kurt wants to know where his sixteen-year-old very-drunk very-camp boyfriend is going in an unfamiliar part of town in the middle of the night on Friday/Saturday, Blaine sarcastically apologies for trying to be spontaneous, and we're not sure who we're supposed to feel is in the right here. Given that reaction and the creators' love of Blaine, though, we think it's him, which is stupid.

Cut to opening night, where Blaine and Rachel apologize to each other for still being virgins. No, Blaine should apologize to Kurt, and Rachel should apologize to Lucy for not being her first. Artie gives the five minute warning, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of the situation, freaking out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. However, it seems the cast disagrees, as they approach with flowers. Artie says being in the chair is frustrating not just for the physical reasons, but that people can't look past it and treat him like a person. But directing, and the respect the cast gave him, made him feel like a man. After the show circle, we cut to a fully clothed Finn and his ShowerOfAngst; seems he's still perturbed at nearly being made to be stress relief for Rachel. Again, if not for the Santana issue, we'd be more sympathetic. Cut to the musical, where all of the vaguely ethnic students at [=McKinley=] are playing the Sharks during Santana's performance of "America", including Puck, Tina, and Rory (who can't get past the accent). The only exception is Mike, who's playing Riff of the Jets with Quinn and Brittany being the "fair and blonde" girls on his arms, both with some amazing fifties short hairdos. And now we're pretty sure that Dianna's spent most of this season sat in the hair department. During all this, Mike sees his mom in the audience, but not his dad, while Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience with the Warblers in tow. Afterwards, we see Blainechel backstage, wondering how they can follow that. Rachel says the characters of Tony and Maria were soulmates, and that the two of them have theirs.

We start the home stretch with Blaine on stage practicing steps as Kurt approaches. Blaine makes it clear that the meerkat means nothing, and that he was right in that their first time shouldn't be fumbling in a back seat. Blaine says Artie's having an after party at Breadstix, but Kurt wants to head to Blaine's house. He agrees as we cut to Rachel at the Hudmel's. Finn answers the door, less than pleased. We soon see that it's more than just what happened with Rachel, as it turns out, CtR had overtures for Shane Tinsley, but not for him. Finn stands rejected and dejected, and, in what is admittedly a fine bit of acting from Cory, has a breakdown about how he has nothing. Unfortunately, what follows is not exactly what one would call healthy circumstances. Rachel, figuring Finn needed something, offers something to him... herself. See, whereas the last time it was out of selfishness, this time, it's out of pity. You wanna make him feel good, great, but don't offer yourself out of pity. Nonetheless, we get a montage of both Finchel and Klaine couplings mixed in with one last WSS number. And in the case of one of those couplings, let's pretend Finn is Quinn, because either way, we're done. And if you think this is bad...

** The {{Fanon}} for Sugar dictates that at this point Mama Brittany, the more observant parent, has begun to notice that Sugar has some of Brittana's traits. Eventually, she will realize Sugar is her and Santana's kid, and proceed to help her get the time machine fixed, with Santana finding out as well and being skeptical at first, but eventually accepting Sugar as her daughter.

** Creator/NayaRivera is half Puerto-Rican, playing Santana who is non-specific Hispanic playing a Puerto Rican. Chita Rivera, who originated Anita, is similarly half Puerto-Rican.

Cut to Finnegan putting up Rachel's campaign posters; yes she's still running. We then find out that Finn's still undecided on who to vote for, Rachel offering a liplock as an attempt to sway him in her favor. Said liplock is slightly more sensual than usual (yes, we used the word "sensual" in regards to something involving Finn. We're sad too); when asked what's up, she says it's confidence of success. She's doing three sold out shows, she's ahead in the polls, and she has Finn. One out of three's... okay. However, Finn displays his skewed priorities as he says a football recruiter for Ohio State is coming to watch the latest Titans game. Rachel says their dreams are coming true and that they're growing up. And then, Finn inadvertently provides the means for Rachel to grow up in a big way as he mentions Burt and Carole are campaigning and thus he has the house to himself. Rachel immediately realizes the opportunity to sleep with him without it looking forced. Annnnd hello images. Non-Finchel fans, prepare for the worst. As Finn starts to realize the implications, we cut to Klaine in Blaine's room. Blaine is practicing moves when Kurt inexplicably asks if Blaine thinks he's sexually boring. Um, Hummel? You're as pure as the driven snow. Simmer down. As it turns out, both of them are consciously avoiding going any farther than making out. Kurt wonders if Blaine's ever had the drive to get wild; he says yes, but that's why they invented ADateWithRosiePalms. Point is that comfort takes precedence over passion, that and since Kurt enjoys his layers, by the time he's stripped down, the mood would be gone.

And now for a fun case of RetroactiveRecognition. After the sudden Music/BillyJoel, we're introduced to Sebastian Smythe, a very gay meerkat-lookalike... and an alternate universe doppelganger of one [[Series/TheFlash2014 Barry Allen]]. Yes folks, three years before becoming the Fastest Man Alive, Creator/GrantGustin got his first major TV role on Glee. And to those reading these recaps having never seen Grant on Glee and only knowing him as Barry, two things: He's got great pipes, and Sebastian is a textbook case of PlayingAgainstType. Anyway, Sebastian and Blaine meet, Seb apparently new on the scene and only knowing of Blaine's rep second hand. Blaine is clearly intimidated by Seb's confidence, Seb asking if Blaine left Dalton due to being a heartbreaker. As Blaine stammers, we intercut with Rachtana rehearsing their WSS number, appropriate for this context. Afterwards, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime, leaving him floored. Cut to Puck in the locker room, Finn finding him and asking him for his choice of prophylactic. We're now about to get a ladder and slap Finn upside the head because that was a stupid question - Puck doesn't use condoms. Works out about 99% of the time, and the 1% that didn't is Puck's daughter. Puck assumes that Finn's going to cheat on Rachel, which he tells him off for, only for Finnegan to reveal that he wants to ''use'' them... more imagery. Hudson, you make us sad. Especially with what's to come next episode. Anyway, this is interrupted by Beiste introducing CtR, and they flirt, which the boys think is gross. Events to come will dictate this a smart mindset. He reveals he'll be attending the next game, and Finn's eyes light up.

Cut to Casa de Hummel-Hudson, where Finn has made dinner for Rachel, who is amazed at how the "meat substitute" tasted just like real mate. Yep, Finn forgot that she's vegan and of course doesn't tell her that she just ate real meat. Finnegan, you're a idiot. In any case, it's presumed Mike, likely the only sexually active ND member who uses condoms, told him where to get some and he really wants to use one right about now instead of being dumped. After a toast to four months of no fighting and no threats of splitting, huzzah, Rachel then suggests they snuggle by the fireplace, and most people would probably go for a round with the sack of potatoes instead of taste whatever he made for dessert. The fire is set and... cue the NoJustNoReaction as Finchel prepare for coupling; Turns out Rachel also brought condoms, and where she got them from we ''really'' don't want to find out. Thankfully, we're spared the sight as Rachel's ego chooses to arise, her telling Finn that she has to get laid before opening night, and this makes Finn feel crappy. After the break, Mike is at his locker when Mike Sr. slams the door and demands to know when Jr was gonna tell him about WSS, seems he over heard Mrs. Chang. Mike lied to his father and made a liar out of his mother, therefore he will quit. However, Jr. grows a backbone and asserts himself, leading to Sr. hitting Jr. with IHaveNoSon. Stereotypes are our friend. So is Beiste, and we cut to her working out as CtR approaches and makes it really clear that they should date. He brought flowers, and then says that he only dates "beautiful women, like [Beiste]"[[spoiler:, which will become HilariousInHindsight when we get to the final season]].

Cut to Rachel assembling Tina and the Unholy Trinity, AKA the girls that she knows aren't virgins for their opinions on losing their virginity. You'd think that they'd be quite positive, given the fact that they've all done it, but they're not. Dear Lucille, being the only ND girl to take not waiting to it's inevitable conclusion, says that she should wait, and Rachel pays attention to her, because we all wished her first time was with Lucy. She continues to say that not only was what she remembers of her first time terrible, and that there is the risk of pregnancy, but mainly that it changes you, it takes something from you that you can't ever get back. This sounds a bit like Burt's speech to Kurt from season 2, but also a bit romantic. It's clear that Quinn regrets giving her virginity to Puck, Rachel, and obviously wishes she gave it to you, as do we all. Santana also thinks Rachel should wait, saying how terrible sex with boys is while offering up specifically how terrible quick-shot Hudson was. In fact...

Cut to opening night, where Blaine and Rachel apologize to each other for still being virgins. No, Blaine should apologize to Kurt, and Rachel should apologize to Lucy for not being her first. Artie gives the five minute warning, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of the situation, freaking out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. However, it seems the cast disagrees, as they approach with flowers. Artie says being in the chair is frustrating not just for the physical reasons, but that people can't look past it and treat him like a person. But directing, and the respect the cast gave him, made him feel like a man. After the show circle, we cut to a fully clothed Finnegan and his ShowerOfAngst; seems he's still perturbed at nearly being made to be stress relief for Rachel. Again, if not for the Santana issue, we'd be more sympathetic. Cut to the musical, where all of the vaguely ethnic students at [=McKinley=] are playing the Sharks during Santana's performance of "America", including Puck, Tina, and Rory (who can't get past the accent). The only exception is Mike, who's playing Riff of the Jets with Quinn and Brittany being the "fair and blonde" girls on his arms, both with some amazing fifties short hairdos. And now we're pretty sure that Dianna's spent most of this season sat in the hair department. During all this, Mike sees his mom in the audience, but not his dad, while Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience with the Warblers in tow. Afterwards, we see Blainechel backstage, wondering how they can follow that. Rachel says the characters of Tony and Maria were soulmates, and that the two of them have theirs.

We start the home stretch with Blaine on stage practicing steps as Kurt approaches. Blaine makes it clear that the meerkat means nothing, and that he was right in that their first time shouldn't be fumbling in a back seat. Blaine says Artie's having an after party at Breadstix, but Kurt wants to head to Blaine's house. He agrees as we cut to Rachel at the Hudmel's. Finn answers the door, less than pleased. We soon see that it's more than just what happened with Rachel, as it turns out, CtR had overtures for Shane Tinsley, but not for him. Finn stands rejected and dejected, and, in what is admittedly a fine bit of acting from Cory, has a breakdown about how he has nothing. Unfortunately, what follows is not exactly what one would call healthy circumstances. Rachel, figuring Finnegan needed something, offers something to him... herself. See, whereas the last time it was out of selfishness, this time, it's out of pity. You wanna make him feel good, great, but don't offer yourself out of pity. Nonetheless, we get a montage of both Finchel and Klaine couplings mixed in with one last WSS number. And in the case of one of those couplings, let's pretend Finn is Quinn, because either way, we're done. And if you think this is bad...

* FanficFuel: Many fics emerged from this episode, most featuring Rachel regretting giving her virginity to Finnegan.

Cut to opening night, where Blaine and Rachel apologize to each other for still being virgins. No, Blaine should apologize to Kurt, and Rachel maybe should apologise to Finn. Artie gives the five minute warning, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of the situation, freaking out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. However, it seems the cast disagrees, as they approach with flowers. Artie says being in the chair is frustrating not just for the physical reasons, but that people can't look past it and treat him like a person. But directing, and the respect the cast gave him, made him feel like a man. After the show circle, we cut to a fully clothed Finnegan and his ShowerOfAngst; seems he's still perturbed at nearly being made to be stress relief for Rachel. Again, if not for the Santana issue, we'd be more sympathetic. Cut to the musical, where all of the vaguely ethnic students at [=McKinley=] are playing the Sharks during Santana's performance of "America", including Puck, Tina, and Rory (who can't get past the accent). The only exception is Mike, who's playing Riff of the Jets with Quinn and Brittany being the "fair and blonde" girls on his arms, both with some amazing fifties short hairdos. And now we're pretty sure that Dianna's spent most of this season sat in the hair department. During all this, Mike sees his mom in the audience, but not his dad, while Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience with the Warblers in tow. Afterwards, we see Blainechel backstage, wondering how they can follow that. Rachel says the characters of Tony and Maria were soulmates, and that the two of them have theirs.

Cut to opening night, where Blaine and Rachel apologize to each other for still being virgins. No, Blaine should apologize to Kurt while Rachel should apologize to Lucy for not being her first. Artie gives the five minute warning, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of the situation, freaking out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. However, it seems the cast disagrees, as they approach with flowers. Artie says being in the chair is frustrating not just for the physical reasons, but that people can't look past it and treat him like a person. But directing, and the respect the cast gave him, made him feel like a man. After the show circle, we cut to a fully clothed Finnegan and his ShowerOfAngst; seems he's still perturbed at nearly being made to be stress relief for Rachel. Again, if not for the Santana issue, we'd be more sympathetic. Cut to the musical, where all of the vaguely ethnic students at [=McKinley=] are playing the Sharks during Santana's performance of "America", including Puck, Tina, and Rory (who can't get past the accent). The only exception is Mike, who's playing Riff of the Jets with Quinn and Brittany being the "fair and blonde" girls on his arms, both with some amazing fifties short hairdos. And now we're pretty sure that Dianna's spent most of this season sat in the hair department. During all this, Mike sees his mom in the audience, but not his dad (amazing what happens when you get disowned, maybe you should ask Quinn, who hasn't seen ''her'' dad in 3 years, thank god, instead of feeling sorry for yourself because he didn't come see one show), while Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience with the Warblers in tow. Afterwards, we see Blainechel backstage, wondering how they can follow that. Rachel says the characters of Tony and Maria were soulmates, and that the two of them have theirs.

Cut to Casa de Hummel-Hudson, where Finn has made dinner for Rachel, who is amazed at how the "meat substitute" tasted just like real mate. Yep, Finn forgot that she's vegan and of course doesn't tell her that she just ate real meat. Finnegan, you're a idiot. In any case, it's presumed Mike, likely the only sexually active ND member who uses condoms, told him where to get some and he really wants to use one right about now instead of being dumped. After a toast to four months of no fighting and no threats of splitting, huzzah, Rachel then suggests they snuggle by the fireplace, and most people would probably go for a round with the sack of potatoes instead of taste whatever he made for dessert. The fire is set and... cue the NoJustNoReaction as Finchel prepare for coupling; Turns out Rachel also brought condoms, and where she got them from we ''really'' don't want to find out. Thankfully, we're spared the sight as Rachel's ego chooses to arise, her telling Finn that she has to get laid before opening night, and this makes Finn feel crappy. We're startled that he possesses this emotion, and equally as to why he should be able to (have the right to) feel it at this specific moment when he already did the same thing but with Santana. Again, Finnegan, you're a idiot. After the break, Mike is at his locker when Mike Sr. slams the door and demands to know when Jr was gonna tell him about WSS, seems he over heard Mrs. Chang. Mike lied to his father and made a liar out of his mother, therefore he will quit. However, Jr. grows a backbone and asserts himself, leading to Sr. hitting Jr. with IHaveNoSon. Stereotypes are our friend. So is Beiste, and we cut to her working out as CtR approaches and makes it really clear that they should date. He brought flowers, and then says that he only dates "beautiful women, like [Beiste]"[[spoiler:, which will become HilariousInHindsight when we get to the final season]].

* PlaysGreatEthnics: Invoked InUniverse with any student who is even a bit foreign being made to be a Puerto Rican extra. Santana, the only actual Hispanic, takes the role of Anita. There's also Jewish Rachel and Puck, Korean-American Tina, and Irish Rory. This hasn't been applied, though, to the Irish-descent Quinn (and half-Asian Brittany), who are New York extras. Subdued with Chinese Mike playing New Yorker Riff, as it's a main role so more cast on talent.

* NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp: No Tracksuit nor Sugar, the first of seven absences Sugar makes.

In this episode we finally get to see TheMusical! It's about a month into school, so to get ''Theatre/WestSideStory'' ready was an unbelievable feat!

This episode was the second (after "[[Recap/GleeS2E15Sexy Sexy]]") to be given a content warning, received for the same reasons that it caused a lot of controversy: the outright discussion and depictions of teenage sex with the implied suggestion that kids shouldn't wait to have sex even if they want to, the equal discussion of sexual relations by a student and teacher, and the inference of the rape of a 13-year-old.

Artie, Beiste, and Emma are watching Blaine and Rachel rehearse, when Artie says that it was good, but lacks the sexual awakening the characters go through. They're not quite performing ''Theatre/SpringAwakening'' (what a warning that would get!), but they aren't exactly singing as if they want to jump each other. This is probably because they both have boyfriends, but Artie thinks it's because they've never had sex. Beiste and Emma quickly depart. Artie talks about how amazing his first time with Brittany was, even though he was mad at her about it last season.

Rachel and Blaine immediately go on a mission to try and get laid: don't worry, Blaine's now just turned 16 and so legal in Ohio.

Finn inexplicably invites Rachel over because his parents are out, he also mentions a football recruiter for Ohio State coming to watch the Titans' game. Rachel is smart enough to know that this is a perfect opportunity to sleep with him without it looking forced. Annnnd hello images. Non-Finchel fans, prepare for the worst. Blaine and Kurt are dancing in Blaine's bedroom when Kurt inexplicably asks if Blaine thinks he's sexually boring. Blaine says that they both agreed they didn't really want sex from each other, but if Kurt's changed his mind then he can stop masturbating.

Artie goes to see Beiste, and asks why Beiste and Emma were so uncomfortable when he brought up sex, quickly asking if it's because they're virgins. This is very awkwardly shoehorned into the episode, because any teacher around when their students are being told to have sex should very rightly be uncomfortable because it's really inappropriate, which is what the reaction looked like, and also the response that should have been given to Artie (who shouldn't have even asked) instead of "there's this guy I like". Glee's hold on realism: Negative 273.15%.

Blaine goes to Dalton to invite the Warblers to see the musical, inadvertently getting himself into a performance because of the YaoiFangirls that wanted more Warblers in their Glee. He also gets hit on by [[Creator/GrantGustin Sebastian]], a very gay meerkat-lookalike. The Warblers leave Seblaine alone together, and this scene gets mashed up with Santana and Rachel performing their not-a-duet. After that, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime.

In the locker room, Finn has worked out that he might get lucky with Rachel, and so asks Puck what kind of condom he uses. We're about to get a ladder and slap Finn on the head because that was a stupid question - Puck doesn't use condoms. Works out about 99% of the time, and the 1% that didn't is now Rachel's adopted sister. Puck assumes that Finn's going to cheat on Rachel, which he tells him off for. This is interrupted by Beiste introducing Cooter the Recruiter, and they flirt, which the boys think is gross. Hindsight will dictate this a smart mindset.

This is also where we see Rory decked out in a [[ColorCodedCharacters green Phys. Ed. shirt, with green shorts shorter than a Cheerios' skirt, green-striped tube socks, and a pair of green converse]]. Because Glee revels in ALL OF TEH STEREOTYPES.

Klaine are now talking about being sheltered, and Kurt brings up his beautifully innocent bucket list. Well, except number 5 (Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Creator/TaylorLautner before he gets fat). Blaine implied they should have sex pretty soon, then walks away. He's gone to meet Sebastian at the Lima Bean, which is their equivalent of Faberry's bathroom but with even more [[{{UST}} Sexual Tension]]. Sebastian's from France and wanted courvoisier in his coffee. Kurt interrupts their flirting. They plan to go to a gay club with fake ID's.

Artie tries to hook up Beiste and Cooter the Recruiter. Arthur, you mean well, but no bby.

Finn has made dinner for Rachel, and forgotten that she's vegan but doesn't tell her that she just ate real meat. Finnegan, you're a moron. Presumably Mike told him where to get condoms and he really wants to use one right about now instead of being dumped. Rachel then suggests they snuggle by the fireplace, and most people would probably go for a round with the sack of potatoes instead of taste whatever he made for dessert. Turns out Rachel also brought condoms, and where she got them from we ''really'' don't want to find out. She also somehow tells him that she has to get laid before opening night, and this makes Finn feel crappy. We're startled that he possesses this emotion, and equally as to why he should be able to (have the right to) feel it at this specific moment when he already did the same thing but with Santana. Again, Finnegan, you're a moron.

Mike, Sr. tells Mike to quit the musical, but this time Mike doesn't listen to him and gets disowned. Mike, Sr. storms out of the school. Stereotypes are our friend.

Cooter the Recruiter goes to find Beiste to make it really clear that they should date. He brought flowers, and then says that he only dates "beautiful women, like [Beiste]", which becomes HilariousInHindsight come season 6.

Rachel gets the girls that she knows aren't virgins together for their opinions on losing their virginity. You'd think that they'd be quite positive, given the fact that they've all done it, but they're not. Brittany tells the audience that she lost her virginity at 13 when someone just came into her tent and fucked her, claming an "alien invasion". This is completely ignored, and we can only hope that this is because it was actually Santana who did it, and Brittany knew but isn't giving all the details, otherwise she just admitted to being raped and no one batted an eye. And yes, there is at least one fanfic. Sigh. Equally, Santana says how terrible sex with boys is. Thank you. She does offer up specifically how terrible quick-shot Hudson was. Quinn says that she should wait, and Rachel pays attention to her, because we all wished her first time was with Lucy. Quinn continues to say that not only was what she remembers of her first time terrible, and that there is the risk of pregnancy, but mainly that it changes you, it takes something from you that you can't ever get back. This sounds a bit like Burt's speech to Kurt from season 2, but also a bit romantic. It's clear that Quinn regrets giving her virginity to Puck, Rachel. Tina gives a positive review of Mike's efforts, saying that because they planned it and they love each other she has no regrets. This last part is also mashed in with the Rachel/Santana not-a-duet, almost making it seem like ''they're'' going to do it ([[CallBack after their]] [[IncrediblyLamePun du-et]]).

Klaine go to meet the meerkat at the gay bar, Kurt is the designated driver, and then A WILD DAVE KAROFSKY APPEARS! He talks about accepting his identity and how he feels right in a place like this really shitty gay bar. They've clearly established a friendship and it's really sweet, then Karofsky tells Kurt to keep an eye on his boyfriend, Blaine dancing up with the meerkat causing Kurt to awkwardly thrust himself between the pair. When the couple leave, Blaine, obviously drunk, tries to have sex with Kurt in the back of his car. Kurt pushes Blaine off of him and Blaine looks hurt, walking away when Kurt asks him to calm down. When Kurt wants to know where his sixteen-year-old very-drunk very-camp boyfriend is going in an unfamiliar part of town in the middle of the night on Friday/Saturday, Blaine sarcastically apologies for trying to be spontaneous, and we're not sure who we're supposed to feel is in the right here. Given that reaction and the creators' love of Blaine, though, we think it's him, which is stupid.

We get to opening night. Blaine and Rachel apologize to each other for still being virgins. Artie wishes them luck but then starts to freak out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. Santana brings him some flowers and the cast thank him for getting them all ready. Then we see some of the show.

All of the vaguely ethnic students at [=McKinley=] are playing the Sharks during Santana's performance of "America", including Puck, Tina, and Rory. The only exception is Mike, who's playing Riff of the Jets with Quinn and Brittany being the "fair and blonde" girls on his arms, both with some amazing fifties short hairdos. And now we're pretty sure that Dianna's spent most of this season sat in the hair department.

Mike sees him mom in the audience, but not his dad (amazing what happens when you get disowned, maybe you should ask Quinn, who hasn't seen ''her'' dad in 3 years, thank god, instead of feeling sorry for yourself because he didn't come see one show.)

Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience and, ignoring the fact that he has all the Warblers in tow, demands an explanation from Blaine. Blaine says that meerkat means nothing, and they decide to go to Blaine's to have sex. They couldn't go to Kurt's because now we see Rachel visit the Hudson-Hummel house and let's pretend either this is where the episode ends, or we swap out Finn with Quinn, because either way, No Mas.

* HilariousInHindsight: Cooter wanting to date Beiste with the explanation that he only dates beautiful women after season 6's revelation of Beiste's gender identity.

* HeyItsThatGuy: Yes, three years before protecting [[Series/TheFlash2014 Central City]], Grant Gustin played everyone's favorite DepravedHomosexual, Sebastian Smythe. The cross section of Glee/DC Comic fans are waiting for the inevitable duet with him and [[Creator/MelissaBenoist Marley]] AKA [[{{Series/Supergirl2015}} Kara Zor-El]].

* HeyItsThatGuy: Yes, three years before protecting [[Series/TheFlash2014 Central City]], Grant Gustin played everyone's favorite DepravedHomosexual, Sebastian Smythe. The cross section of Glee/DC Comic fans are waiting for the inevitable duet with him and [[Creator/MelissaBenoist Marley]] AKA [[Series/Supergirl2015 Kara Zor-El]].

* HeyItsThatGuy: Yes, three years before protecting [[Series/TheFlash2014 Central City]], Grant Gustin played everyone's favorite DepravedHomosexual, Sebastian Smythe. The cross section of Glee/DC Comic fans are waiting for the inevitable duet with him and [[Creator/MelissaBenoist Marley]] AKA [{{Series/Supergirl2015}} Kara Zor-El]].

Blaine goes to Dalton to invite the Warblers to see the musical, inadvertently getting himself into a performance because of the YaoiFangirls that wanted more Warblers in their Glee. He also gets hit on by [[Series/TheFlash2014 Barry Allen]] no, scratch that, I mean Sebastian, a very gay meerkat-lookalike. The Warblers leave Seblaine alone together, and this scene gets mashed up with Santana and Rachel performing their not-a-duet. After that, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime.

* HeyItsThatGuy: Yes, three years before protecting Central City, Grant Gustin played everyone's favorite DepravedHomosexual, Sebastian Smythe. The cross section of Glee/DC Comic fans are waiting for the inevitable duet with him and [[Creator/MelissaBenoist Marley]] no, I mean [[{{Series/Supergirl2015}} Kara Zor-El]].

* HeyItsThatGuy: Yes, three years before protecting Central City, Grant Gustin played everyone's favorite DepravedHomosexual, Sebastian Smythe. The cross section of Glee/DC Comic fans are waiting for the inevitable duet with him and [[strike:Marley]] I mean, [[{{Series/Supergirl2015}} Kara Zor-El]].

Blaine goes to Dalton to invite the Warblers to see the musical, inadvertently getting himself into a performance because of the YaoiFangirls that wanted more Warblers in their Glee. He also gets hit on by [[strike:[[Series/TheFlash2014 Barry Allen]]]] I mean Sebastian, a very gay meerkat-lookalike. The Warblers leave Seblaine alone together, and this scene gets mashed up with Santana and Rachel performing their not-a-duet. After that, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime.

Finn inexplicably invites Rachel over because his parents are out, he also mentions a football recruiter for Ohio State coming to watch the Titans' game. Rachel is smart enough to know that this is a perfect opportunity to sleep with him without it looking forced. Blaine and Kurt are dancing in Blaine's bedroom when Kurt inexplicably asks if Blaine thinks he's sexually boring. Blaine says that they both agreed they didn't really want sex from each other, but if Kurt's changed his mind then he can stop masturbating.

Blaine goes to Dalton to invite the Warblers to see the musical, inadvertently getting himself into a performance because of the YaoiFangirls that wanted more Warblers in their Glee. He also gets hit on by Sebastian, a very gay meerkat-lookalike. The Warblers leave Seblaine alone together, and this scene gets mashed up with Santana and Rachel performing their not-a-duet. After that, Sebastian asks Blaine if they can meet up sometime.

In the locker room, Finn has worked out that he might get lucky with Rachel, and so asks Puck what kind of condom he uses. We're about to get a ladder and slap Finn on the head because that was a stupid question - Puck doesn't use condoms. Works out about 99% of the time. Puck assumes that Finn's going to cheat on Rachel, which he tells him off for. This is interrupted by Beiste introducing Cooter the Recruiter, and they flirt, which the boys think is gross.

This is also where we see Rory decked out in a [[ColorCodedCharacters green Phys. Ed. shirt, with green shorts shorter than a Cheerios' skirt, green-striped tube socks, and a pair of green converse]].

Klaine are now talking about being sheltered, and Kurt brings up his beautifully innocent bucket list. Well, except number 5 (Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Creator/TaylorLautner before he gets fat). Blaine implied they should have sex pretty soon, then walks away. He's gone to meet Sebastian at the Lima Bean, which is their equivalent of Rachel's bathroom but with even more [[{{UST}} Sexual Tension]]. Sebastian's from France and wanted courvoisier in his coffee. Kurt interrupts their flirting. They plan to go to a gay club with fake ID's.

Artie tries to hook up Beiste and Cooter the Recruiter.

Finn has made dinner for Rachel, and forgotten that she's vegan but doesn't tell her that she just ate real meat. Presumably Mike told him where to get condoms and he really wants to use one right about now instead of being dumped. Rachel then suggests they snuggle by the fireplace, and most people would probably go for a round with the sack of potatoes instead of taste whatever he made for dessert. Turns out Rachel also brought condoms, and where she got them from we really don't want to find out. She also somehow tells him that she has to get laid before opening night, and this makes Finn feel crappy. We're startled that he possesses this emotion, and equally as to why he should be able to (have the right to) feel it at this specific moment when he already did the same thing but with Santana.

Mike, Sr. tells Mike to quit the musical, but this time Mike doesn't listen to him and gets disowned. Mike, Sr. storms out of the school.

Rachel gets the girls that she knows aren't virgins together for their opinions on losing their virginity. You'd think that they'd be quite positive, given the fact that they've all done it, but they're not. Brittany tells the audience that she lost her virginity at 13 when someone just came into her tent and fucked her. This is completely ignored, and we can only hope that this is because it was actually Santana who did it, and Brittany knew but isn't giving all the details. Equally, Santana says how terrible sex with boys is. Thank you. She does offer up specifically how terrible quick-shot Hudson was. Quinn says that she should wait, and Rachel pays attention to her. .Quinn continues to say that not only was what she remembers of her first time terrible, and that there is the risk of pregnancy, but mainly that it changes you, it takes something from you that you can't ever get back. This sounds a bit like Burt's speech to Kurt from season 2, but also a bit romantic. It's clear that Quinn regrets giving her virginity to Puck, Rachel. Tina gives a positive review of Mike's efforts, saying that because they planned it and they love each other she has no regrets. This last part is also mashed in with the Rachel/Santana not-a-duet, almost making it seem like ''they're'' going to do it ([[CallBack after their]] [[IncrediblyLamePun du-et]]).

Klaine go to meet the meerkat at the gay bar, Kurt is the designated driver, and then a wild Dave Karofsky appears! He talks about accepting his identity and how he feels right in a place like this really shitty gay bar. They've clearly established a friendship and it's really sweet, then Karofsky tells Kurt to keep an eye on his boyfriend, Blaine dancing up with the meerkat causing Kurt to awkwardly thrust himself between the pair. When the couple leave, Blaine, obviously drunk, tries to have sex with Kurt in the back of his car. Kurt pushes Blaine off of him and Blaine looks hurt, walking away when Kurt asks him to calm down. When Kurt wants to know where his sixteen-year-old very-drunk very-camp boyfriend is going in an unfamiliar part of town in the middle of the night on Friday/Saturday, Blaine sarcastically apologies for trying to be spontaneous, and we're not sure who we're supposed to feel is in the right here. Given that reaction and the creators' love of Blaine, though, we think it's him, which is stupid.

We get to opening night. Blaine and Rachel apologise to each other for still being virgins. Artie wishes them luck but then starts to freak out because he suddenly thinks that all of his decisions were wrong. Santana brings him some flowers and the cast thank him for getting them all ready. Then we see some of the show.

Mike sees him mom in the audience, but not his dad (amazing what happens when you get disowned, maybe you should ask Quinn, who hasn't seen ''her'' dad in 3 years, instead of feeling sorry for yourself because he didn't come see one show.)

Kurt sees the meerkat in the audience and, ignoring the fact that he has all the Warblers in tow, demands an explanation from Blaine. Blaine says that meerkat means nothing, and they decide to go to Blaine's to have sex. They couldn't go to Kurt's because now we see Rachel visit the Hudson-Hummel house to have sex with Finn. Let's pretend this is where the episode ends, instead of the actual sex scenes (plus clothes) that follow.

* CallForward: Kurt compares Karofsky to Yogi Bear, which becomes Blaine's CoupleNickname for him in season 6.
* CelebrityParadox: Two of the Warblers (one being Creator/GrantGustin, who plays Sebastian) were in Theatre/WestSideStory. The pair were, in fact, only introduced in this episode because of the National tour ending just before filming started.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Creator/JoeyRichter auditioned for Sebastian.