History Recap / GameOfThronesS5E6UnbowedUnbentUnbroken

* KickTheSonOfABitch: Theon pleads with Sansa to take his arm as Best Man, saying Ramsay will punish him otherwise. Sansa coldly refuses, saying she doesn't care what happens to him. Of course, he isn't actually guilty of killing Bran and Rickon as she believes... although he did kill two random children instead, which is every bit as bad.

At '''The Water Gardens''', Prince Trystane and Princess Myrcella are enjoying a romantic afternoon. Prince Doran notes that they make a happy couple but he tells Areo Hotah that they need to protect them on account of FeudingFamilies. Along the bluffs, Jaime and Bronn are arriving on stolen horses and wearing the Dornish outfits they stole from that unlucky patrol. Bronn starts singing "The Dornishman's Wife" which Jaime complains about. Bronn then asks Jaime if he has any ideas on how they will get the princess out of Dorne, Jaime shrugs and says that he'll improvise. They then join a supply caravan that's travelling to the Water Gardens. Meanwhile, in a room with a highly vaulted ceiling, Ellaria and three of the Sand Snakes are about to take action, they intone the Martell words, "[[BadassCreed Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken]]" it seems that revenge for Oberyn is imminent. The three bastard daughters pull on paper-thin disguises and march down a tunnel while Ellaria waits behind.

Arya is stunned and the Waif tells her to get back to work, putting the young novice in her place. Later that night, Arya is sleeping when she wakes up after hearing a voice. "Jaqen" enters the room and wakes her up. Now he asks her to describe who she is. Arya tells a man her name but tries telling white lies in-between every incident of her back-story. Her father was killed in battle. Her mentor canes her for every reinterpretation, much to her surprise. We all know that he was executed. She braves on but for every attempt, "Jaqen" canes her. She stabbed a stable boy in the back *thwack* She stabbed him in the gut *thwack* She was kidnapped by an outlaw named Polliver *thwack* She was kidnapped by the Hound. *thwack* She finally tells him that she left the Hound to die because she hated him and even she's gobsmacked when a man canes her by sensing that ''even that'' was a lie. [[StockholmSyndrome Arya didn't even admit that to herself]]. She keeps insisting but it's clear she has deluded herself about Sandor.

A fight-scene, of a sorts, ensues. Jaime battles the spear wielding Obara with his left-handed sword and his golden hand as shield, Tyene and Bronn fight each other while Nymeria whips everyone ineffectually until Obara tells her to be useful and grab Myrcella. Tyene manages to scratch Bronn with one of her daggers but he brushes it off, while Lady Nym tells Myrcella to come with her, putting a knife to her face. Jaime sees her being dragged away and is desperate to pursue when a crap-tonne of guards suddenly stops everyone in their path. Areo Hotah commands everyone to lay down their arms. Obara tries to use her heritage as a weapon, but it serves her no better than her stick did and she drops said weapon, as does her half-sister, releasing the princess. Jaime welcomes his rescuer, blase, until Areo swings his glaive below his chin and reminds him that he's not got his old muscle memory back yet. Jaime wisely relinquishes his blade. Tyene and Bronn drop their weapons the last and Bronn gets in one back-handed compliment, that triggers her BerserkButton as guards break them apart and arrest everyone, especially Ellaria, who has just stood in that antechamber all this time.

The Holy Inquest takes place. We see Loras after his period in captivity, he's grown a BeardOfSorrow and looks scruffier than usual. The High Sparrow repeats the charges to which Loras has been accused. Loras denies all these charges, knowing fully well that its not a question he can be remotely honest about. The High Sparrow then calls Margaery as a witness. Margaery is shocked, she's the queen but the Sparrow reminds her that the Holy Inquest has a higher jurisdiction, answering to the gods, and she is called forth. Margaery is asked if she knows about Loras' homosexuality and she denies everything. The Sparrow lets her go, then calls in a surprise witness. It's Olyvar. Olyvar testifies that he's a prostitute who had sex with Loras and that Margaery had walked in on them. Loras calls him a liar. Olyvar then reveals that Loras has a birth-mark on the top of his thigh. Loras gets even more enraged at being sold out by someone he was intimate with and charges at him but the Sparrows hold him back and take him back into custody. Then the High Sparrow calls them to arrest Margaery to, for the crime of perjury. Olenna and Tommen watch in shock as the queen is laid a hold of and carted off with her brother. She calls out to Tommen for help but he is too shocked and brow-beaten to do a damn thing. Cersei can barely hold back from gloating as Olenna fixes her with the evil eye.

* YouGotSpunk:
** Bronn condescendingly praises Tyene Sand with the words "You fight pretty good for a little girl", and is visibly amused by her enraged reaction, which forces the guards to keep the two apart when she tries to attack him again.
** The slaver captain says, "Got a lot of fight in you" after hitting Jorah a few times. Like the Bronn example, it's meant to be condescending.

* KangarooCourt: A King's Landing tradition continues, though it was technically an inquisition. Loras' trial is blatantly scripted, and once again we have a surprise witness in the form of a prostitute who had been knowingly told to lie under oath while Cersei smirks at the proceedings.

* AbsenteeActor: Brienne and Pod make no appearance, despite a great deal of the episode taking place in Winterfell. The ChekhovsGun set up in the prior episode about Sansa calling for help remains unfired.

* BiggusDickus: Tyrion says it might be difficult to prove his cock belongs to a dwarf if it isn't attached to him.
-->'''Slaver:''' It will be a dwarf-sized cock.
-->'''Tyrion:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Guess again!]]

* RealityEnsues:
** The Sand Snakes' little rebellion lasts about two minutes of fighting until they get overpowered by a dozen more skilled fighters.
** Trystane Martell attempts to be the quintessential PrinceCharming and defend his beloved princess when two outsiders (Jaime and Bronn) try to kidnap her. Unfortunately for him, he's still just a boy versus two competent swordsmen, and gets disarmed the moment he tries drawing his RoyalRapier.
** Sansa has been trying to be a cold manipulator like Littlefinger and indeed she calmly disarms Myranda's attempts to intimidate her, but Ramsay is too AxCrazy to even ''consider'' playing the same game as her. The results are sadly predictable.

* HalfTruth: Olyvar's testimony during Loras's inquisition is somewhat true- however details are altered so that it sounds like Olyvar is just a squire that got corrupted by Loras instead of a professional prostitute that came to Loras first.

* FlowerInHerHair: Our first glimpse of Trystane and Myrcella comes when he places a pink flower in her hair.

* ShutUpKiss: Tyrstane does it to Myrcella.

* BlatantLies[=/=]MetaphoricallyTrue:

* SilentCredits: Subverted with a dozen mute seconds before the credit music starts. After Sansa cries out, the screen goes to black and silent credits begin to roll. It lets the horror sink it some more.

* NonActionGuy: Credit for trying, but when Trystane Martell draws his RoyalRapier to stop Bronn and Jamie from kidnapping Myrcella, he gets disarmed and taken out of the fight in seconds.

* DatingWhatDaddyHates: The Lannisters thought they had to rescue Myrcella from her miserable 'imprisonment' as a political hostage with their enemies the Martells. Myrcella's "uncle" Jaime is surprised to find her making out with the Martell boy she was betrothed to, and in fact not only perfectly happy but madly in love with him.

-->'''Tyrion:''' ''Guess'' - again.

-->'''Tyrion:''' Guess again!

* BrickJoke: Turns out [[Recap/GameOfThronesS5E3HighSparrow Tyrion's cock]] ''is'' lucky. It saves his life.

At '''Winterfell''', Myranda approaches Sansa's room and draws her a bath, during which, she cleans away the black dye that was in Sansa's hair. As she washes Sansa's back, she tells her about Ramsay's reputation as a BlueBeard. Sansa listens at first but then she tells Myranda to shut her trap, reminding her that whatever she may have been, she was just a kennel-master's daughter and she should have known that Ramsay would tire of her. Myranda can only grit her crooked teeth in suppressed anger and Sansa dismisses her, finishing her bath herself.

* EtTuBrute: Loras is horrified when Olyvar betrays him to the Faith, and even tries to attack him out of rage.

The Holy Inquest takes place. We see Loras after his period in captivity, he's grown a BeardOfSorrow and looks scruffier than usual. The High Sparrow repeats the charges to which Loras has been accused. Loras denies all these charges, knowing fully well that its not a question he can be remotely honest about. The High Sparrow then calls Margaery as a witness. Margaery is shocked, she's the Queen but the Sparrow reminds her that the Holy Inquest has a higher jurisdiction, answering to the Gods, and she is called forth. Margaery is asked if she knows about Loras' homosexuality and she denies everything. The Sparrow lets her go, then calls in a surprise witness. It's Olyvar. Olyvar testifies that he's a prostitute who had sex with Loras and that Margaery had walked in on them. Loras calls him a liar. Olyvar then reveals that Loras has a birth-mark on the top of his thigh. Loras gets even more enraged at being sold out by someone he was intimate with and charges at him but the Sparrows hold him back and take him back into custody. Then the High Sparrow calls them to arrest Margaery to, for the crime of perjury. Olenna and Tommen watch in shock as the Queen is laid a hold of and carted off with her brother. She calls out to Tommen for help but he is shocked. Cersei barely holds back from gloating.

** The Slaver captain is unimpressed with Jorah Mormont, until he says he [[Recap/GameOfThronesS1E9Baelor killed a Dothraki bloodrider in single combat]].

She enters a yawning room, a Hall of many pillars and shelves and each shelf contains ''faces'' mounted on display all around, the cylinders stretching up to the cavernous ceiling. The Faceless Men seem to re-purpose the cadavers of the supplicants who come to die and create lifelike masks for their disguises. (Masks that can disguise the body as well as the face, through some kind of necromantic magic as No-one has shown.) Arya is fascinated with the visage of an elderly woman, touching the cold cheek carefully. A man notes that she's not quite ready to be "no-one", but she is ready to be "someone else".

A fight-scene, of a sorts, ensues. Jaime battles the spear wielding Obara with his left-handed sword and his golden hand as shield, Tyene and Bronn fight each other while Nymeria whips everyone ineffectually until Obara tells her to be useful and grab Myrcella. Tyene manages to scratch Bronn with one of her daggers but he brushes it off, while Lady Nym tells Myrcella to come with her, putting a knife to her face. Jaime sees her being dragged away and is desperate yo pursue when a crap-tonne of guards suddenly stops everyone in their path. Areo Hotah commands everyone to lay down their arms. Obara tries to use her heritage as a weapon, but it serves her no better than her stick did and she drops said weapon, as does her half-sister, releasing the princess. Jaime welcomes his rescuer, blase, until Areo swings his glaive below his chin and reminds him that he's not got his old muscle memory back yet. Jaime wisely relinquishes his blade. Tyene and Bronn drop their weapons the last and Bronn gets in one back-handed compliment, that triggers her BerserkButton as guards break them apart and arrest everyone, especially Ellaria, who has just stood in that antechamber all this time.