History Quotes / SwissCheeseSecurity

'''Sisko''': He says that for you, "a Pakled wielding a pipe might as well by the Riddler."

->We have had ''many'' things lock out or steal control from the Bridge throughout the franchise, but this is the first time it's been done from '''''A FUCKING KITCHEN.'''''
-->--'''Website/SFDebris''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Flesh and Blood"

'''Lawson:''' (mock despair) But I had a whole bit planned! About how "[[BadassEngineer I was always good with technology]]", and "[[BestServedCold you of all people should know that]]"?\\

->You decide which is more contrived: that the Hirogen happen to know ''exactly'' where a hidden comm unit might be located, or the fact they have one built into '''a lunch counter.'''\\\
The answer is neither. The winning contrivance is that he "[[AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs locks out Bridge control]]" so that Harry can't stop him. We have had ''many'' things lock out or steal control from the Bridge throughout the franchise, but this is the first time it's been done from '''''A FUCKING KITCHEN.'''''

->Two cops burst in. Lex, seeing it to be a bad scene, starts to duck behind his desk and call his security.\\\
Yes, that's right, his security has failed yet again to stop someone from coming through the doors.\\\

->"''That place does not have swiss cheese security, it has ''grated parmesan."
-->--'''[[https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/worst-depictions-of-law-enforcement-in-fiction.346437/page-3#post-18047695 A spacebattles poster]] on Arkham Asylum'''

-->--'''[[http://spoonyexperiment.com/neon-genesis-evangelion/ Christopher Kinsey]]''' on ''NeonGenesisEvangelion''

-->--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Flesh and Blood"

'''Lawson:''' (mock despair) But I had a whole bit planned! About how "[[BadassEngineer I was always good with technology]]", and "[[BestServedCold you of all people should know that"?\\

->'''Kaiba:''' These guys are my elite [=KaibaCorp=] security agents.
->'''Joey:''' Yeah, great security, Kaiba. We just walked through the front door, no problem.

->'''Colin:''' I found him in the Oval Office. There didn't seem to be much security around; I just walked right in."

->'''Lawson''': Aren't you going to ask how I got in here?
->'''Angel''': No, you'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.

->"Care to explain how our security was penetrated by a child?"

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]''': "I'd like a room for tonight, please! Just for one night, at this hotel, where this rich rock star is staying."
->'''Gabriel:''' "Hi, I'd like to learn to take off and fly a plane? [[DeadBabyComedy Don't need to worry about landing.]]"
->[later]
->'''Yahtzee:''' Now, the interior of Channel 6 studios is surprisingly insecure...
->'''Gabriel:''' Well, I mean, y'know. They have that impenetrable wall of 'boom gate and 60-year-old unarmed man behind not-bulletproof-or-[[RayGun plasma-proof]] glass.' Why would you need security inside after that?

->''"Shinji and his pals get a trip onto a fleet of ships. Now, Shinji I understand, being as he's the one who can pilot the EVA... But his school chums allowed into a top-secret paramilitary unit just to fool around? No wonder we won WWII."''

->''"Two cops burst in. Lex, seeing it to be a bad scene, starts to duck behind his desk and call his security.\\\

You know, Lex, I'd just buy some [[SentryGun automated turrets]] that shoot at anything that goes beyond the gates. [[{{ComicBook/Transmetropolitan}} Spider Jerusalem]] style. Have a sign: 'Warning. Unauthorized access means fragging. Please press the button.' That's what I'd do, if it were my billions."''

->'''Yahtzee:''' Now, the interior of Channel 6 studios is surprisingly insecure, being so tight around the ''out''side...

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]''': "I'd like a room for tonight, please! Just for one night, at this hotel, where this rich rock star is staying."\\
'''Gabriel:''' "Hi, I'd like to learn to take off and fly a plane? [[DeadBabyComedy Don't need to worry about landing.]]"\\
[later]\\
'''Yahtzee:''' Now, the interior of Channel 6 studios is surprisingly insecure, being so tight around the ''out''side...\\
'''Gabriel:''' Well, I mean, y'know. They have that impenetrable wall of 'boom gate and 60-year-old unarmed man behind not-bulletproof-or-[[RayGun plasma-proof]] glass.' Why would you need security inside after that?

-->--- '''It Was Your Blood, Part Spoof''', a ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' fanfic.

->''Needless to say, as is always the case in these situations, the holodeck safeties are off, communications are dead, Level Ten forcefields have been erected around our position, helm control has been compromised, Voyager's main processor will no longer accept Janeway's command access codes, and the replicators will only produce lukewarm coffee!"
-->--- '''It Was Your Blood, Part Spoof'', a ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' fanfic.

'''Gabriel:''' Well, I mean, y'know. They have that impenetrable wall of boom gate and 60-year-old unarmed man behind not-bulletproof-or-[[RayGun plasma-proof]] glass. Why would you need security inside after that?

You know, Lex, I'd just buy some automated turrets that shoot at anything that goes beyond the gates. [[{{ComicBook/Transmetropolitan}} Spider Jerusalem]] style. Have a sign: 'Warning. Unauthorized access means fragging. Please press the button.' That's what I'd do, if it were my billions."''

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]''': "I'd like a room for tonight, please! Just for one night, at this hotel, where this rich rock star is staying."\\
'''Gabriel:''' "Hi, I'd like to learn to take off and fly a plane? [[DeadBabyComedy Don't need to worry about landing.]]"\\
[later]\\
'''Yahtzee:''' Now, the interior of Channel 6 studios is surprisingly insecure, being so tight around the ''out''side...\\
'''Gabriel:''' Well, I mean, y'know. They have that impenetrable wall of boom gate and 60-year-old unarmed man behind not-bulletproof-or-[[RayGun plasma-proof]] glass. Why would you need security inside after that?
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gry1oDJrNck Let's Play]]''' ''Dreamweb''

'''Gabriel:''' Well, I mean, y'know. They have that impenetrable wall of boomgate and 60-year-old unarmed man behind not-bulletproof-or-[[RayGun plasma-proof]] glass. Why would you need security inside after that?

'''Gabriel:''' "Hi, I'd like to learn to take off and fly a plane? [[DeadBabyComedy Don't need to worry about landing.]]"

->'''[[Creator/BebCroshaw Yahtzee]]''': "I'd like a room for tonight, please! Just for one night, at this hotel, where this rich rock star is staying."\\

'''Gabriel:''' "Hi, I'd like to learn to take off and fly a plane? [[DeadBabyComedy Don't need to worry about landing.]]"\\

-->--''YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'', Episode 39: "Card Games at 20,000 Feet"

-->--''WhoseLineIsItAnyway''

-->--"Why We Fight", ''{{Angel}}''