History Quotes / SpecialEffectFailure

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/04/300-million-years-out-of-your-comfort.html Phil Sandifer]]''' ''Series/DoctorWho'' on [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsoftheDeep}} "Warriors of the Deep"]]

->As it was... disbelief had not so much to be suspended as hanged, drawn, and quartered.

->The owner of the ship makes several speeches boasting about how stable it is; it can stay level even during a raging tempest. I wonder if those speeches were inserted after the filmmakers realized how phony their special effects look. Every time we see the ship, it's absolutely immobile in the midst of churning waves.''

->Kirk loses his grip and slips off the mountain. We then see [[StuntDouble an unrelated man wearing the same clothes]] ''also'' falling off a mountain. Then, Kirk is hanging upside-down in front of a rear screen projection of a moving rock face; Spock as well. The scene awkwardly ends seconds before Kirk touches the ground while Spock floats above him, suspended by movie studio cables. I'm not sure I understand the meaning of this abstract sequence. Perhaps someday, movie scholars will be able to [[MistakenForProfound decipher how these bizarre images relate to one another]], but I'm not smart enough to decipher the meaning of these seemingly unrelated shots.

->This airplane looks like the kind of present your grandmother gives you for your birthday when you're a toddler and she figures, 'Hey, he's only three. I could give him a stale dog turd and he'd be happy.' The effect is just amazingly bad, and the models will only get worse from here on in. (The upcoming submarine models look shockingly like bathtub toys. If, in fact, [[NoBudget they aren't just that.]])

->I don’t need to see a fake bullet in the opening gun barrel sequence, I doubt anybody did. The fake Hong Kong backdrop as Bond climbs out of the ocean looks like it came from a dodgy cartoon. The laser effects actually somehow look worse than they did back in ''{{Film/Goldfinger}}''.

->We’ve had three credits sequences so far in this series. One of them was the iconic ''Superman'' credits sequence from [[{{Film/Superman}} the first film]], which was beautifully animated if basically the same idea. [[Film/SupermanII The second one]] was similar, but overlaid over a recap of the first film. [[Film/SupermanIII The third]] was the utterly hilarious Richard-Lester-goes-crazy-with-slapstick citywide Rube Goldberg machine, and this time it’s just movingearth.mov downloaded from a government website with some text that looks like it was overlaid on it on an UsefulNotes/{{Amiga}}.

->Jo would have suffered severe brain damage from a rock that size hitting her on the head. Luckily it bounces.

->Michael Grade, responsible for pulling the trigger on the [[{{Cancellation}} 1985 hiatus]], has apparently cited this story as the one that persuaded him that ''Series/DoctorWho'' was crap, a claim that Eric Saward took issue with, pointing out that Grade was in a position to give the program more money. But the flip side of this is what possible reason Michael Grade would have for giving more money to a program that’s blowing what it has on a [[{{Panto}} pantomime horse]]. I mean, it’s tough to point at this and call it a compelling case for [[NotHelpingYourCase giving the program more money.]]

->Note to the costume designers: go look at a tiger or other mammal with a long tail. [[SomewhereAMammalogistIsCrying It doesn't just hang straight down.]] A tail that hangs straight down (with a kink at the end) is blatantly cloth wrapped onto wire. Please don't give a main character a tail unless you're prepared to use CGI in every scene she's in.

->Clark arrives there, where he proceeds to deflect their magical [[RakeTake throwing of rakes]] at him with his heat vision in a scene that can best be described as looking like a UsefulNotes/SegaCD game.

->When you're doing worse composite shots than [[SelfDeprecation me]], ''stop making movies!!''.

->Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands.

->That's clearly just a cheap plastic container that we just slapped a hologram on top of. But when you're making a sci-fi movie, you'd rather have too many holograms than not enough.

->There's a shot in this movie in which Reed Richards, after he becomes the stretchy guy, warps his face to look like someone else to be in disguise. When he warps back into Reed Richards, it looked like a movie that came out in 1993 that was trying to use CGI effects that weren't invented yet. I'm not exaggerating, there wasn't a single thing convincing about it.

->The visuals are a lazy, unfinished mess, cobbled together [[TooManyCooksSpoilTheSoup by no less than five separate effects companies]], resulting in a cartoony, CGI fakeness to the picture's most important moments.

->It's weird, you've got this big budget sci-fi movie with giant spectacle and grand space battles... and then you've got a scene with a naff snake in it that looks like it's out of an Creator/EdWood movie.

-> This is one of the lamest Hells ever designed. Not only does it look beyond fake for a big budget movie, not only is it some of the laziest layout work for something that could be creative in its sleep, but this is the shittiest devil ever! Literally! He looks like a giant piece of shit! If somebody sculpted a turd to look like a hyena with sea turtle dicks for ears covered in [[Franchise/HarryPotter Ron Weasley's]] pubes and the voice of [[WesternAnimation/InspectorGadget Dr. Claw]] parading as the Lord of Darkness, I'd say, "[[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs What are you smoking? Give me some!]] [[GetOut And you're fired]]". I'd call it a cheap CGI puppet, except it's not even a functioning puppet; the lips don't even move when he talks! (plays clip of the devil talking) This means that, technically, the [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtle]] Christmas Special had better effects, because they at least made an attempt to have their lips move! This looks like [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Sauron's]] pet chihuahua!

->Beautiful-looking picture, but the whole thing fell apart because the effect of the snakes on Megaera's head was not sufficiently well done for the climax of the film. Not a memorable film, but it could have been terrific.

->This animatronic baby was moving its head, and Marc [Alaimo] was holding it up for the camera, playing the scene for all it's worth... It looked as if he were proclaiming to the world, 'Take a look! This is a phony baby! You can get one at Toys "R" Us! Thirty-five dollars and ninety-five cents!' We were howling with laughter and crying in frustration at the same time. The day will live in infamy.

-> This is one of the lamest Hells ever designed. Not only does it look beyond fake for a big budget movie, not only is it some of the laziest layout work for something that could be creative in its sleep, but this is the shittiest devil ever! Literally! He looks like a giant piece of shit! If somebody sculpted a turd to look like a hyena with sea turtle dicks for ears covered in [[Franchise/HarryPotter Ron Weasley's]] pubes and the voice of [[WesternAnimation/InspectorGadget Dr. Claw]] parading as the Lord of Darkness, I'd say, "[[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs What are you smoking? Give me some!]] [[GetOut And you're fired]]". I'd call it a cheap CGI puppet, except it's not even a functioning puppet; the lips don't even move when he talks! (plays clip of Satan talking) This means that, technically, the [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtle]] Christmas Special had better effects, because they at least made an attempt to have their lips move! This looks like [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Sauron's]] pet chihuaua!

->There's a shot in this movie in which Reed Richards, after he becomes the stretchy guy, warps his face to look like someone else to be in disguise. When he warps back into Reed Richards, it looked like a movie that came out in 1993 that was trying to use CGI effects that weren't invented yet. I'm not exaggerating, there wasn't a single thing convincing about it.
-->-- '''Creator/ChrisStuckmann''', on ''Film/FantasticFour2015''.

->Clark arrives there, where he proceeds to deflect their magical [[RakeTake throwing of rakes]] at him with his heat vision in a scene that can best be described as looking like a SegaCD game.

->We’ve had three credits sequences so far in this series. One of them was the iconic ''Superman'' credits sequence from [[{{Film/Superman}} the first film]], which was beautifully animated if basically the same idea. [[Film/SupermanII The second one]] was similar, but overlaid over a recap of the first film. [[Film/SupermanIII The third]] was the utterly hilarious Richard-Lester-goes-crazy-with-slapstick citywide Rube Goldberg machine, and this time it’s just movingearth.mov downloaded from a government website with some text that looks like it was overlaid on it on an UsefulNotes/{{Amiga}}. It sets up the main theme of the film, which is '[[TheyJustDidntCare we don’t give a s***.]]
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-superman-iv-the-quest-for-peace-1987-2/ on]] ''Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace''

-->--'''[[Creator/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''', ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier'' rifftrack

->'''Chorus:''' ... can this cockpit hold\\
The vasty fields of France? or may we cram\\
Within this wooden O the very casques\\
That did affright the air at Agincourt?\\
O, pardon!...
-->-- ''Theatre/HenryV''

->Beautiful-looking picture, but the whole thing fell apart because the effect of the snakes on Megaera's head was not sufficiently well done for the climax of the film. Not a memorable film, but it could have been terrific.
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherLee''' on ''Film/TheGorgon'', ''The Films of Christopher Lee''

->'''Dragon:''' No star shining tonight?\\
'''Chick:''' The soundstage is quite desolate!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''', ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''

->This airplane looks like the kind of present your grandmother gives you for your birthday when you're a toddler and she figures, 'Hey, he's only three. I could give him a stale dog turd and he'd be happy.' The effect is just amazingly bad, and the models will only get worse from here on in. (The upcoming submarine models look shockingly like bathtub toys. If, in fact, [[NoBudget they aren't just that.]])
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Submerged'' (2005)

->We’ve had three credits sequences so far in this series. One of them was the iconic ''Superman'' credits sequence from [[{{Film/Superman}} the first film]], which was beautifully animated if basically the same idea. [[Film/SupermanII The second one]] was similar, but overlaid over a recap of the first film. [[Film/SupermanIII The third]] was the utterly hilarious Richard-Lester-goes-crazy-with-slapstick citywide Rube Goldberg machine, and this time it’s just movingearth.mov downloaded from a government website with some text that looks like it was overlaid on it on an UsefulNotes/{{Amiga}}. It sets up the main theme of the film, which is '[[TheyJustDidntCare we don’t give a s***.]]
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-superman-iv-the-quest-for-peace-1987-2/ on]] ''Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace''

->Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands.
-->-- '''Creator/ALlisonPregler''' on ''Film/TheAmazingBulk''

->That's clearly just a cheap plastic container that we just slapped a hologram on top of. But when you're making a sci-fi movie, you'd rather have too many holograms than not enough.
-->--"''Film/AfterEarth'' - [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dxAZD7Wr_M M. Knight Deleted Commentary"]]

->There's a shot in this movie in which Reed Richards, after he becomes the stretchy guy, warps his face to look like someone else to be in disguise. When he warps back into Reed Richards, it looked like a movie that came out in 1993 that was trying to use CGI effects that weren't invented yet.

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony''', reviewing ''Film/HighlanderTheSource''

->Michael Grade, responsible for pulling the trigger on the [[{{Cancellation}} 1985 hiatus]], has apparently cited this story as the one that persuaded him that ''DoctorWho'' was crap, a claim that Eric Saward took issue with, pointing out that Grade was in a position to give the program more money. But the flip side of this is what possible reason Michael Grade would have for giving more money to a program that’s blowing what it has on a [[{{Panto}} pantomime horse]]. I mean, it’s tough to point at this and call it a compelling case for [[NotHelpingYourCase giving the program more money.]]

->''"As it was... disbelief had not so much to be suspended as hanged, drawn, and quartered."''

->''"Beautiful-looking picture, but the whole thing fell apart because the effect of the snakes on Megaera's head was not sufficiently well done for the climax of the film. Not a memorable film, but it could have been terrific."''

->''"This airplane looks like the kind of present your grandmother gives you for your birthday when you're a toddler and she figures, 'Hey, he's only three. I could give him a stale dog turd and he'd be happy.' The effect is just amazingly bad, and the models will only get worse from here on in. (The upcoming submarine models look shockingly like bathtub toys. If, in fact, [[NoBudget they aren't just that.]])"''

->''"We’ve had three credits sequences so far in this series. One of them was the iconic ''Superman'' credits sequence from [[{{Film/Superman}} the first film]], which was beautifully animated if basically the same idea. [[Film/SupermanII The second one]] was similar, but overlaid over a recap of the first film. [[Film/SupermanIII The third]] was the utterly hilarious Richard-Lester-goes-crazy-with-slapstick citywide Rube Goldberg machine, and this time it’s just movingearth.mov downloaded from a government website with some text that looks like it was overlaid on it on an UsefulNotes/{{Amiga}}. It sets up the main theme of the film, which is '[[TheyJustDidntCare we don’t give a s***.]]"''

->''"When you're doing worse composite shots than [[SelfDeprecation me]], STOP MAKING MOVIES!!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''', ''Film/HighlanderTheSource''

->''"Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/ObscurusLupaPresents''' on ''Film/TheAmazingBulk''

->''"Jo would have suffered severe brain damage from a rock that size hitting her on the head. Luckily it bounces."''
-->--'''[[http://www.docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/planet-of-daleks-written-by-terry.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS10E4PlanetOfTheDaleks}} "Planet of the Daleks"]]

->''"Michael Grade, responsible for pulling the trigger on the 1985 hiatus, has apparently cited [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsOfTheDeep}} this story]] as the one that persuaded him that ''DoctorWho'' was crap, a claim that Eric Saward took issue with, pointing out that Grade was in a position to give the program more money. But the flip side of this is what possible reason Michael Grade would have for giving more money to a program that’s blowing what it has on a [[{{Panto}} pantomime horse]]. I mean, it’s tough to point at this and call it a compelling case for giving the program more money."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/04/300-million-years-out-of-your-comfort.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsoftheDeep}} "Warriors of the Deep"]]

->''"Clark arrives there, where he proceeds to deflect their magical [[RakeTake throwing of rakes]] at him with his heat vision in a scene that can best be described as looking like a SegaCD game."''
-->--'''''Smallvillains''''' [[http://http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-4-8-spell/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Spell")

->''The owner of the ship makes several speeches boasting about how stable it is; it can stay level even during a raging tempest. I wonder if those speeches were inserted after the filmmakers realized how phony their special effects look. Every time we see the ship, it's absolutely immobile in the midst of churning waves.''
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Film/DeepRising''

->''"Kirk loses his grip and slips off the mountain. We then see [[StuntDouble an unrelated man wearing the same clothes]] ''also'' falling off a mountain. Then, Kirk is hanging upside-down in front of a rear screen projection of a moving rock face; Spock as well. The scene awkwardly ends seconds before Kirk touches the ground while Spock floats above him, suspended by movie studio cables. I'm not sure I understand the meaning of this abstract sequence. Perhaps someday, movie scholars will be able to [[MistakenForProfound decipher how these bizarre images relate to one another]], but I'm not smart enough to decipher the meaning of these seemingly unrelated shots."''

->''"Film note: 'Quickening' is a process by which two people touch each other and are surrounded by special effects making it look as if one of them is standing in a puddle and the other had just stuck his finger into a light socket."''
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''Film/HighlanderIITheQuickening''

->''"We’ve had three credits sequences so far in this series. One of them was the iconic ''Superman'' credits sequence from [[{{Film/Superman}} the first film]], which was beautifully animated if basically the same idea. [[Film/SupermanII The second one]] was similar, but overlaid over a recap of the first film. [[Film/SupermanIII The third]] was the utterly hilarious Richard-Lester-goes-crazy-with-slapstick citywide Rube Goldberg machine, and this time it’s just movingearth.mov downloaded from a government website with some text that looks like it was overlaid on it on an {{Amiga}}. It sets up the main theme of the film, which is '[[TheyJustDidntCare we don’t give a s***.]]"''

->''"The reveal of the Cyber War Fleet is packaged into a cliffhanger which ''might'' have worked had they not look liked a bunch of egg boxes hanging about in space."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/silver-nemesis-written-by-kevin-clarke.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{DoctorWhoS25E3SilverNemesis}} "Silver Nemesis"]]

->''"The lighting might be a bit much, but the truth is that the Mykra would have looked terrible in any form that isn’t an audio play (in fact, it’s telling that the creature has the most impact before we see it burst through some lame foam doors). Dimming the lights or even shooting in black and white couldn’t have made the costume look any more threatening – and we still would have had to worry about the stupid kung-fu fight. Because it isn’t an effective [[Creator/JonPertwee Pertwee]] homage without some gratuitous kung-fu."''
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2013/07/12/doctor-who-warriors-of-the-deep-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Doctor Who'', "Warriors of the Deep"

->''"Michael Grade, responsible for pulling the trigger on the 1985 hiatus, has apparently cited [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsOfTheDeep}} this story]] as the one that persuaded him that ''DoctorWho'' was crap, a claim that Eric Saward took issue with, pointing out that Grade was in a position to give the program more money. But the flip side of this is what possible reason Michael Grade would have for giving more money to a program that’s blowing what it has on a pantomime horse. I mean, it’s tough to point at this and call it a compelling case for giving the program more money."''

->'''Chorus:''' ...can this cockpit hold\\

->''"As it was...disbelief had not so much to be suspended as hanged, drawn, and quartered."''