History Quotes / SpecialEffectFailure

->'''Matt:''' There was actually some super-advanced digital technology at play in the opening scene to de-age [[Creator/PatrickStewart Stewart]] and [[Creator/IanMcKellen McKellen]]. I remember seeing, like, entertainment shows talk about the groundbreaking technology. Too bad it just ends up looking like heavy makeup. Stewart is still his slightly wider, older self, not looking at all like the dude from ''{{Literature/Dune}}'' or in the first season of ''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration The Next Generation]]''.\\
'''Chris''': [=McKellen=] just has… kind of brownish hair? For all the de-aging technology they claimed to have, it seriously just looks like they’re shooting [[LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek a Lifetime Original]]. ''A Daughter’s Telepathy: The Jean Grey Story.''
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-3-the-last-stand-2006-part-on/ on]] ''[[{{Film/X-Men}} X-Men 3: The Last Stand]]''

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-4-8-spell/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Spell")

->''" Clark arrives there, where he proceeds to deflect their magical [[RakeTake throwing of rakes]] at him with his heat vision in a scene that can best be described as looking like a SegaCD game."''

->''" Clark arrives there, where he proceeds to deflect their magical [[RakeTake throwing of rakes]] at him with his heat vision in a scene that can best be described as looking like a SegaCD game."''\\

->'''Chris''': Chris Hastings, the creator of DrMcNinja, pointed out on Twitter that both {{Darkseid}} and {{Galactus}}, JackKirby’s two most intimidating villains, have now been rendered in “live-action” as smoke monsters.\\
'''David''': I never saw ''Film/FantasticFour 2'', and I feel very grateful for that.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/smallville-recap-season-10-episode-1-lazarus/ on]] ''Smallville'' ("Lazarus")

'''David''': I never saw ''Film/FantasticFour 2'', and I feel very grateful for that.\\
'''Chris:''' ...After seeing ''Smallville''’s interpretation of the MartianManhunter as a dude in green shirt wearing backwards red suspenders, I told my pal Chad that I was fully expecting ''Smallville''[='=]s version of {{Darkseid}} to be just a dude in a blue shirt and possibly black boots.

->''"Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/ObscurusLupaPresents''' on ''Film/TheAmazingBulk''

->'''Dragon:''' No star shining tonight?\\
'''Chick:''' The soundstage is quite desolate!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''', ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/04/300-million-years-out-of-your-comfort.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsoftheDeep} "Warriors of the Deep"]]

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/04/300-million-years-out-of-your-comfort.html Phil Sandifer]]'''

->''"Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands. [...] I would like to remind you that this film was made in 2010."''

->''"Is it possible for a movie to embody a Geocities page? Because somehow this film does it, complete with shitty [=GIFs=], blinky text, and low-res pictures of your favorite bands."''

->''"Film note: 'Quickening' is a process by which two people touch each other and are surrounded by special effects making it look as if one of them is standing in a puddle and the other had just stuck his finger into a light socket."''
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''Film/HighlanderIITheQuickening''

->''"Kirk loses his grip and slips off the mountain. We then see [[StuntDouble an unrelated man wearing the same clothes]] ''also'' falling off a mountain. Then, Kirk is hanging upside-down in front of a rear screen projection of a moving rock face; Spock as well. The scene awkwardly ends seconds before Kirk touches the ground while Spock floats above him, suspended by movie studio cables. I'm not sure I understand the meaning of this abstract sequence. Perhaps someday, movie scholars will be able to [[MistakenForProfound decipher how these bizarre images relate to one another]], but I'm not smart enough to decipher the meaning of these seemingly unrelated shots."''
-->--'''[[Creator/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''', ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier'' rifftrack

->''That’s a green screen.\\
That’s a green screen.\\
Jack is talking to a tennis ball.\\
Those characters are climbing up a 6 ft tall green thing in front of a green screen.\\
That character is pretending to ride a horse in front of a green screen.\\
I’ve never seen [[Creator/IanMcShane Ian McShane]] more embarrassed.\\
Now EwanMcGregor is talking to a tennis ball.\\
Now the princess is in a cage surrounded by a green screen.''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2013/03/05/jack-the-giant-slayer-2013-bryan-singer/ on]] ''JackTheGiantSlayer''

->''Michael Grade, responsible for pulling the trigger on the 1985 hiatus, has apparently cited [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E1WarriorsOfTheDeep}} this story]] as the one that persuaded him that ''DoctorWho'' was crap, a claim that Eric Saward took issue with, pointing out that Grade was in a position to give the program more money. But the flip side of this is what possible reason Michael Grade would have for giving more money to a program that’s blowing what it has on a pantomime horse. I mean, it’s tough to point at this and call it a compelling case for giving the program more money.''
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/04/300-million-years-out-of-your-comfort.html Phil Sandifer]]'''

->''"Kirk loses his grip and slips off the mountain. We then see [[StuntDouble an unrelated man wearing the same clothes]] ''also'' falling off a mountain. Then, Kirk is hanging upside-down in front of a rear screen projection of a moving rock face; Spock as well. The scene awkwardly ends seconds before Kirk touches the ground while Spock floats above him, suspended by movie studio cables. I'm not sure I understand the meaning of this abstract sequence. Perhaps someday, movie scholars will be able to decipher how these bizarre images relate to one another, but I'm not smart enough to decipher the meaning of these seemingly unrelated shots."''

->''"So Kirk, Spock, and [=McCoy=] get taken to the ship's brig, which is just a room where they're preventing from escape by powerful fluorescent light bulbs. Ok, now don't get me wrong, I love practical effects; but really? Are we supposed to believe that those're some kinda [[LaserHallway laser bars]] or somethin'? Fucking ''really?'' You couldn't do some kind of effect here? Jesus Christ, where did all the money in the budget go to, catering for James Doohan? Toupees for Creator/WilliamShatner? Like, ''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Next Gen]]'' just has a glowing blue light, totally transparent cell door--but just [[SomeKindOfForceField a simple electrostatic zap-type effect]] that indicated that there was an invisible force fled there. That's all you need. Then you don't gotta stare at this fuckin' terrible set, and you can shoot at your actors inside the cell door without having the fuckin' florescent light bulbs there."''

->''"So Kirk, Spock, and [=McCoy=] get taken to the ship's brig, which is just a room where they're preventing from escape by powerful fluorescent light bulbs. Ok, now don't get me wrong, I love practical effects; but really? Are we supposed to believe that those're some kinda [[LaserHallway laser bars]] or somethin'? Fucking ''really?'' You couldn't do some kind of effect here? Jesus Christ, where did all the money in the budget go to, catering for James Doohan? Toupees for Creator/WilliamShatner? Like, ''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Next Gen]]'' just has a glowing blue light, totally transparent cell door--but just [[SomeKindOfForceField a simple electrostatic zap-type effect]] that indicated that there was an invisible force fled there. That's all you need. Then you don't gotta stare at this fuckin' terrible set, and you can shoot at your actors inside the cell door without having the fuckin' florescent light bulbs there.

-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''Highlander 2: The Quickening''

->'''Dragon:''' No star shining tonight?
->'''Chick:''' The soundstage is quite desolate!

->'''Chorus:''' ...can this cockpit hold
->The vasty fields of France? or may we cram
->Within this wooden O the very casques
->That did affright the air at Agincourt?
->O, pardon!...
-->-- ''Theatre/HenryV''

I’ve never seen IanMcShane more embarrassed.\\

-->-- '''Creator/JRRTolkien''' ''On Fairy Stories''

-->'''Dragon''': "No star shining tonight?"
-->'''Chick''': "The soundstage is quite desolate!"
--->TheNostalgiaChick, ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''

-->"As it was...disbelief had not so much to be suspended as hanged, drawn, and quartered."
-->'''Creator/JRRTolkien''' ''On Fairy Stories''

-->'''Chorus''': "...can this cockpit hold
-->The vasty fields of France? or may we cram
-->Within this wooden O the very casques
-->That did affright the air at Agincourt?
-->O, pardon!..."
--->'''HenryV'''

--->TheNostalgiaChick, ''{{Dragonheart}}''

-->'''JRRTolkien''' ''On Fairy Stories''

-->'''JRRTolkien''' ''On Fairy Stories''

--->TheNostalgiaChick, ''{{Dragonheart}}''