History Quotes / HeterosexualLifePartners

'''Yamcha''': Hey! At least I get some pus--[[ThatCameOutWrong Wow, that did not come out right]].

-->-- '''Sasha Alexander'''

-->- '''Leslie Knope''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''

!!!RealLife
->''"This imposes on me at the outset a very tiresome bit of demolition. It has actually become necessary in our time to rebut the theory that every firm and serious friendship is really homosexual."''
-->-- '''Creator/CSLewis''', ''The Four Loves''

->''"I don't want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life one person, one friend whom you love and care for very much. That person is so close to you that you are able to share some things only with him. For example, you can call that friend, and from the very first maniacal laugh or some other joke you will know who is at the other end of that line. We used to do that with him so often. And then when that person is gone, there will be nothing like that in your life ever again."''
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherLee''', following the death of lifelong friend Creator/PeterCushing

->''"The Bird and I did like the same type, and we would pass boys back and forth. Once, after an unsuccessful evening's prowl of [[{{UsefulNotes/Paris}} Saint-Germain]], we returned to the hotel, and the Bird said, "Well, that just leaves us," to which he says I said, "[[GallowsHumor Don't be macabre]]."''
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''' on Creator/TennesseeWilliams, ''Palimpsest''

->''"You're having more fun with these two Doctors in five minutes than you did with [[Creator/ColinBaker Baker]] and [[Creator/PatrickTroughton Troughton]] together in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E4TheTwoDoctors}} three hours in season Twenty-Two]] (as much as I love that story, they are kept apart for the length of a bible) -- [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing kicking at the air like cartoon characters]], suffering the indignity of [[LiteralAssKicking bum rash]] as they are hauled through a warehouse, and trying to figure out if they know each other all the way. [[Creator/DavidTennant Tennant]] and Morrissey have an easy chemistry that's especially highlighted in moments of jeopardy. Rather than accusing each other of not being the Doctor, they laugh and hug and bask in the madness of what they have just experienced...It makes me wonder if a trick has been missed with an all male TARDIS team."''
-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-next-doctor-written-by-russell-t.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS30E14TheNextDoctor "The Next Doctor"]]

->''"Best friends can be very gay."''
-->-- '''Sasha Alexander'''

->YES OUR BODIES ARE STRONG BUT OUR FRIENDSHIP IS STRONGER. WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR OVER 14 YEARS. OF COURSE THERE HAVE BEEN UPS AND DOWNS BUT WE ALWAYS COME TO TERMS WITH OUR DIFFERENCES BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP LIKE THIS COMES ONCE IN A LIFE TIME... BY HIRING US YOU WILL RECEIVE NOT JUST THE STRENGTH OF OUR BODIES BUT THE STRENGTH OF OUR EMOTIONAL BOND AS WELL
-->-- '''[[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DcxNJUmUwAAwrnB.jpg This poster]]''', found outside a hardware store and subsequently [[MemeticMutation memed to hell and back]].

!!!Fiction
->'''WesternAnimation/SuperFriends version of Franchise/{{Superman}}''': Here is to being best friends forever in a completely platonic way!\\
'''Super Friends version of Franchise/{{Batman}}''': You said it! We are as close as two friends can possibly be [[HoYay without going over any boundaries that would be indicative to our being more than friends]]!
-->-- ''[[WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC Marvel/DC: After Hours]]''

->'''Tien''': No, Chaozu! My partner!\\
'''Yamcha''': Gay.\\
'''Tien''': Hey, at least I don't spend all my time with a cat!\\
'''Yamcha''': Hey! At least I get some pus--[[ThatCameOutWrong Wow, that did not come out right]].
-->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->'''Terrence''': Wow, Scott really hates us, Phillip!\\
'''Phillip''': Yes! Perhaps he's homophobic!\\
''[{{Beat}}]''\\
'''Terrence''': But we're not gay, Phillip.\\
'''Phillip''': We're not?!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "Not Without My Anus"

->''"I wish to cherish you like a brother!\\
It is her, the goddess,\\
who comes to unite us this day!\\
Yes, let us share the same fate,\\
let us be united until death!"''
-->-- '''The Pearl Fishers''', "Au Fond du Temple Saint"

-->-- '''Iron Fist''', "Dr. Strange: The Oath #1"

-->-- '''Unknown'''

->''"Bromance--\\
Nothing really gay about it.\\
I love you in the most heterosexual way."''
-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJVt8kUAm9Q Bromance]]''

->''"It's not simply having a best friend; it's not really parallel to anything we have in human culture. A moirail is explicitly a form of soulmate, not in the "get together and make babies" sense that humans associate the term with, but in the "fall asleep on each other and the rest of the world doesn't matter" sense. In the case of Karkat and Gamzee, it's also managing each other; Karkat keeps Gamzee from hurting himself or others, and Gamzee keeps Karkat chilled out, to overly simplify it. They don't want to kiss; they want to pap on the face and hug and then maybe they go up to the roof and Gamzee listens while Karkat bitches out the stars."''
-->-- ''{{Fanfic/Cultstuck}}'' commenter '''Starcrossedsky''' [[http://archiveofourown.org/comments/1086220 explaining]] [[Webcomic/HomeStuck moirallegiance]]

->''"Even when I had nothing, I had [[ComicBook/BuckyBarnes Bucky]]."''
-->-- '''[[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Steve Rogers]]''', ''Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier''

->'''Spock''': Why did you send Kirk aboard when you alone could have explained the truth?\\
'''Spock Prime''': Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together, of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize.
-->-- ''[[Film/StarTrek2009 Star Trek]]''

->''"I feel like you are my twelve-year-old friend and I don't want to share you. I would feel weird taking you to [my girlfriend's] place and seeing you chat with her."''
-->-- '''Pablo''' to Bruno, ''Film/PlanB''

->'''Chowder:''' Are they friends yet?\\
'''Bitty:''' Chowder, sorry-- they're different people. Not every pair of D-men can be like Ransom and Holster.\\
''[behind them]''\\
'''Ransom:''' ''Who wants to share a Best Friend Sundae???''\\
'''Holster:''' ''Me! Me! I do!!''
-->-- ''Webcomic/CheckPlease''

-->-- ''Series/HerculesTheLegendaryJourneys'', "Redemption"

-->-- ''Webcomic/CheckPlease''

-->-- '''Pablo''' to Bruno, ''Film/PlanB''

-->-- ''[[Film/StarTrek2009 Star Trek]]''

->'''JD:''' Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified \\
Though I'm proud to call you "Chocolate Bear" \\
The crowd will always talk and stare. \\
'''Turk:''' I feel exactly those feelings too \\
And that's why I keep them inside \\
'Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain \\
And sometimes it's easier to hide \\
'''JD & Turk:''' Than explain our guy love, that's all it is \\
Guy love he's mine I'm his \\
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes. \\

'''JD:''' ...and he tenderly replies. \\
'''Turk:''' It's guy love... \\
'''JD & Turk:''' ...between two guys. \\
'''Turk:''' We're closer than the average man and wife. \\
'''JD:''' That's why our matching bracelets say Turk and J.D. \\
'''Turk:''' You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life... \\
'''JD:''' You're the only man who's ever been inside of me! \\
'''Turk:''' Whoa whoa! I just took out his appendix. \\
'''JD:''' There's no need, to clarify... \\
'''Turk:''' Oh no? \\
'''JD:''' Just let it grow more and more each day. \\
It's like I've married my best friend... \\
'''Turk:''' But in a totally manly way! \\
'''JD & Turk:''' Let's go! \\
It's guy love, don't compromise, \\
The feeling of some other guy. \\
Holding up your heart into the sky. \\
'''JD:''' I'll be there to care through all the lows. \\
'''Turk:''' I'll be there to share the highs. \\
'''JD & Turk:''' It's guy love, between two guys. \\

'''JD & Turk:''' It's guy love \\

Two... \\
Guys. \\
''[{{Beat}}]''\\
'''JD:''' [[HandshakeRefusal No]] [[ManHug hands]].

'Cause this bear can't bare the world disdain \\
And sometimes is easier to hide \\

Though I'm proud to call you "chocolate bear" \\

-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''' on TennesseeWilliams, ''Palimpsest''

'''JD:''' No hands.

->This imposes on me at the outset a very tiresome bit of demolition. It has actually become necessary in our time to rebut the theory that every firm and serious friendship is really homosexual.

->I don't want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life one person, one friend whom you love and care for very much. That person is so close to you that you are able to share some things only with him. For example, you can call that friend, and from the very first maniacal laugh or some other joke you will know who is at the other end of that line. We used to do that with him so often. And then when that person is gone, there will be nothing like that in your life ever again.

->The Bird and I did like the same type, and we would pass boys back and forth. Once, after an unsuccessful evening's prowl of [[{{UsefulNotes/Paris}} Saint-Germain]], we returned to the hotel, and the Bird said, "Well, that just leaves us," to which he says I said, "[[GallowsHumor Don't be macabre]]."

->You're having more fun with these two Doctors in five minutes than you did with [[Creator/ColinBaker Baker]] and [[Creator/PatrickTroughton Troughton]] together in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E4TheTwoDoctors}} three hours in season Twenty-Two]] (as much as I love that story, they are kept apart for the length of a bible) -- [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing kicking at the air like cartoon characters]], suffering the indignity of [[LiteralAssKicking bum rash]] as they are hauled through a warehouse, and trying to figure out if they know each other all the way. [[Creator/DavidTennant Tennant]] and Morrissey have an easy chemistry that's especially highlighted in moments of jeopardy. Rather than accusing each other of not being the Doctor, they laugh and hug and bask in the madness of what they have just experienced...It makes me wonder if a trick has been missed with an all male TARDIS team.

->Best friends can be very gay.
-->-- Sasha Alexander

-->-- '''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''' - ''Not Without My Anus''

->I wish to cherish you like a brother!\\

let us be united until death!
-->-- ''Au Fond du Temple Saint'', '''The Pearl Fishers'''

->No, I do not know where Power Man is. We're partners, not a couple.
-->-- '''Iron Fist''', ''Dr. Strange: The Oath #1''

->Bros before hoes.
-->-- ''Unknown''

->Bromance--\\

I love you in the most heterosexual way.

->It's not simply having a best friend; it's not really parallel to anything we have in human culture. A moirail is explicitly a form of soulmate, not in the "get together and make babies" sense that humans associate the term with, but in the "fall asleep on each other and the rest of the world doesn't matter" sense. In the case of Karkat and Gamzee, it's also managing each other; Karkat keeps Gamzee from hurting himself or others, and Gamzee keeps Karkat chilled out, to overly simplify it. They don't want to kiss; they want to pap on the face and hug and then maybe they go up to the roof and Gamzee listens while Karkat bitches out the stars.

->[when asked whether she and Ann were a couple]\\

-->-- '''JD & Turk''', ''Series/{{Scrubs}}''

-> ''Even when I had nothing, I had [[ComicBook/BuckyBarnes Bucky]].''

-> '''Spock''': Why did you send Kirk aboard when you alone could have explained the truth?\\

-->-- '''[[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Steve Rogers]]''', ''Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier''

-> ''Even when I had nothing, I had [[ComicBook/BuckyBarnes Bucky]].

-->-- '''JD & Turk''', ''Series/{{Scrubs}}''

-->-- '''GoreVidal''' on TennesseeWilliams, ''Palimpsest''

-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-next-doctor-written-by-russell-t.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoNSS4E14TheNextDoctor}} "The Next Doctor"]]

->Best friends can be very gay.
-->-- Sasha Alexander

->You're having more fun with these two Doctors in five minutes than you did with [[Creator/ColinBaker Baker]] and [[Creator/PatrickTroughton Troughton]] together in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E4TheTwoDoctors}} three hours in season Twenty-Two]] (as much as I love that story, they are kept apart for the length of a bible) -- [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing kicking at the air like cartoon characters]], suffering the indignity of [[LiteralAssKicking bum rash]] as they are hauled through a warehouse, and trying to figure out if they know each other all the way. [[Creator/DavidTennant Tennant]] and Morrissey have an easy chemistry that's especially highlighted in moments of jeopardy. Rather than accusing each other of not being the Doctor, they laugh and hug and bask in the madness of what they have just experienced...Despite the fact that he is dressed up as the Doctor for half of the story, Jackson Lake emerges as [[OneSceneWonder one of the most vivid characters]] to feature in the [[Creator/RussellTDavies Davies]] era. Thanks not only to David Morrissey's superb performance but the subtlety of the script that forces him to wear a mask, rips it away to discover the horrific truth and then allows him some redemption and peace at the climax. We go on one hell of an emotional journey with the character. Tennant is riding high on his success, engaging, funny and warm and falling into a gentle on-screen bromance with Morrissey. It makes me wonder if a trick has been missed with an all male TARDIS team.

->I don't want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life one person, one friend whom you love and care for very much. That person is so close to you that you are able to share some things only with him. For example, you can call that friend, and from the very first maniacal laugh or some other joke you will know who is at the other end of that line. We used to do that with him so often. And then when that person is gone, there will be nothing like that in your life ever again.
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherLee''', following the death of lifelong friend Creator/PeterCushing

\\

'''JD:''' Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified \\

-->-- ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''

-->-- '''"[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJVt8kUAm9Q Bromance]]"'''

-->--''Series/ParksAndRecreation''

->''"This imposes on me at the outset a very tiresome bit of demolition. It has actually become necessary in our time to rebut the theory that every firm and serious friendship is really homosexual."''

->''"The Bird and I did like the same type, and we would pass boys back and forth. Once, after an unsuccessful evening's prowl of [[{{UsefulNotes/Paris}} Saint-Germain]], we returned to the hotel, and the Bird said, 'Well, that just leaves us,' to which he says I said, '[[GallowsHumor Don't be macabre]].'"''
-->--'''GoreVidal''' on TennesseeWilliams , ''Palimpsest''

->''"You're having more fun with these two Doctors in five minutes than you did with [[Creator/ColinBaker Baker]] and [[Creator/PatrickTroughton Troughton]] together in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E4TheTwoDoctors}} three hours in season Twenty-Two]] (as much as I love that story, they are kept apart for the length of a bible) -- [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing kicking at the air like cartoon characters]], suffering the indignity of [[LiteralAssKicking bum rash]] as they are hauled through a warehouse, and trying to figure out if they know each other all the way. [[Creator/DavidTennant Tennant]] and Morrissey have an easy chemistry that's especially highlighted in moments of jeopardy. Rather than accusing each other of not being the Doctor, they laugh and hug and bask in the madness of what they have just experienced...Despite the fact that he is dressed up as the Doctor for half of the story, Jackson Lake emerges as [[OneSceneWonder one of the most vivid characters]] to feature in the [[Creator/RussellTDavies Davies]] era. Thanks not only to David Morrissey's superb performance but the subtlety of the script that forces him to wear a mask, rips it away to discover the horrific truth and then allows him some redemption and peace at the climax. We go on one hell of an emotional journey with the character. Tennant is riding high on his success, engaging, funny and warm and falling into a gentle on-screen bromance with Morrissey. It makes me wonder if a trick has been missed with an all male TARDIS team."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-next-doctor-written-by-russell-t.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoNSS4E14TheNextDoctor}} "The Next Doctor"]]

->'''WesternAnimation/SuperFriends version of Franchise/{{Superman}}''': ''Here is to being best friends forever in a completely platonic way!''
->'''Super Friends version of Franchise/{{Batman}}''': ''You said it! We are as close as two friends can possibly be [[HoYay without going over any boundaries that would be indicative to our being more than friends]]!''
->--''[[WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC Marvel/DC: After Hours]]''

->'''Tien''': ''No, Chaozu! My partner!''
->'''Yamcha''': ''Gay.''
->'''Tien''': ''Hey, at least I don't spend all my time with a cat!''
->'''Yamcha''': ''Hey! At least I get some pus--[[ThatCameOutWrong Wow, that did not come out right]].''
->--''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->'''Terrence''': ''Wow, Scott really hates us, Phillip!''
->'''Phillip''': ''Yes! Perhaps he's homophobic!''
->''[{{Beat}}]''
->'''Terrence''': ''But we're not gay, Phillip.''
->'''Phillip''': ''We're not?!''
->-- '''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''' - ''Not Without My Anus''

->I wish to cherish you like a brother!
->It is her, the goddess,
->who comes to unite us this day!
->Yes, let us share the same fate,
->let us be united until death!
->--''Au Fond du Temple Saint'', '''The Pearl Fishers'''

->--'''Iron Fist''', ''Dr. Strange: The Oath #1''

->'''Denny:''' How ''did'' the judge know about our sleepovers?
->'''Alan:''' Who knows?
->'''Denny:''' Is it odd that two grown heteros have sleepovers?
->'''Alan:''' Who cares? I wouldn't trade them for anything.
->-- ''Series/BostonLegal''

->'''Jeremy:''' (mocking) She might be "the one?"
->'''Mark:''' Fuck off, Jeremy.
-> '''Jeremy:''' (inner voice) I'm his one.
->--Series/PeepShow

->''"Bros before hoes."''

->''Bromance--''\\
''Nothing really gay about it.''\\
''I love you in the most heterosexual way.''
->--'''"[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJVt8kUAm9Q Bromance]]"'''

->"I don't want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life one person, one friend whom you love and care for very much. That person is so close to you that you are able to share some things only with him. For example, you can call that friend, and from the very first maniacal laugh or some other joke you will know who is at the other end of that line. We used to do that with him so often. And then when that person is gone, there will be nothing like that in your life ever again."
->--Creator/ChristopherLee, following the death of lifelong friend Creator/PeterCushing

-> "Best friends can be very gay."
->-- Sasha Alexander

-> ''It's not simply having a best friend; it's not really parallel to anything we have in human culture. A moirail is explicitly a form of soulmate, not in the "get together and make babies" sense that humans associate the term with, but in the "fall asleep on each other and the rest of the world doesn't matter" sense. In the case of Karkat and Gamzee, it's also managing each other; Karkat keeps Gamzee from hurting himself or others, and Gamzee keeps Karkat chilled out, to overly simplify it. They don't want to kiss; they want to pap on the face and hug and then maybe they go up to the roof and Gamzee listens while Karkat bitches out the stars.''
->-- ''{{Fanfic/Cultstuck}}'' commenter '''Starcrossedsky''' [[http://archiveofourown.org/comments/1086220 explaining]] [[Webcomic/HomeStuck moirallegiance]]

->[when asked whether she and Ann were a couple]
->'''Leslie''': No, tragically we're both heterosexual.

->''"The Bird and I did like the same type, and we would pass boys back and forth. Once, after an unsuccessful evening's prowl of [[{{UsefulNotes/Paris}} Saint-Germain]], we returned to the hotel, and the Bird said, 'Well, that just leaves us,' to which he says I said, '[[[GallowsHumor Don't be macabre]].'"''