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History Quotes / HeDiedWithAFelafelInHisHand

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->'''Iain:''' Apparently he rocked up to the depo one morning and said, ‘Call me Lenin.’

to:

->'''Iain:''' Apparently he rocked up to the depo dacha one morning and said, ‘Call me Lenin.’

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Changed: 20

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->''House #47 – Brisbane, Australia''

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->''House #47 – Brisbane, Australia''
UsefulNotes/{{Australia}}''



->''House #48 – Melbourne, Australia''

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->''House #48 – Melbourne, UsefulNotes/{{Melbourne}}, Australia''



->'''Sydney Cop 2:''' And don’t eat the felafel.

to:

->'''Sydney Cop 2:''' And don’t eat the felafel.felafel.
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->'''Danny:''' Dirk, this newly installed sophisticated gay radar of yours is picking up shit from the cosmos that just ain’t fucking there. I've got my own shit to worry about. I've lived in 49 shared households in what seems as many years. I've been ripped off, raided, threatened, burned out, shot at, cheated on, scabbed in every one of those years. My beds are foam slabs on the floor, my cupboards are stacks of stolen milk crates. I've lived with tent-dwelling bank clerks, albino moon tanners, nitrous suckers, psycho fucking drama queens, ACID EATERS, MUSHROOM FARMERS, FUCKING BROTHEL CRAWLERS, FRIDGE-PISSERS, HARDCORE SEPARATIST LESBIANS, AND AN OBSCURELY-TITLED JAPANESE GIRL! AND NOW THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD IN THE FUCKING WORLD WON'T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME! I'M IN A PSYCHO FUCKING NIGHTMARE FROM HELL, ''AND I'M FUCKING FED UP WITH IT''! So I suggest, pal, that you tune in, and chill fucking out.

to:

->'''Danny:''' Dirk, this newly installed sophisticated gay radar of yours is picking up shit from the cosmos that just ain’t fucking there. I've got my own shit to worry about. I've lived in 49 shared households in what seems as many years. I've been ripped off, raided, threatened, burned out, shot at, cheated on, scabbed in every one of those years. My beds are foam slabs on the floor, my cupboards are stacks of stolen milk crates. I've lived with tent-dwelling bank clerks, albino moon tanners, nitrous suckers, psycho fucking drama queens, ACID EATERS, MUSHROOM FARMERS, FUCKING BROTHEL CRAWLERS, FRIDGE-PISSERS, HARDCORE SEPARATIST LESBIANS, AND AN OBSCURELY-TITLED OBSCURELY TIGER-SUITED JAPANESE GIRL! GIRLS! AND NOW THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD IN THE FUCKING WORLD WON'T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME! I'M IN A PSYCHO FUCKING NIGHTMARE FROM HELL, ''AND I'M FUCKING FED UP WITH IT''! So I suggest, pal, that you tune in, and chill fucking out.
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->'''Milo:''' Bull-fuckin-shit! Look, I love Danny here, but that doesn't mean I'm a fucking chocolate-dipper. I'm no fucking chocolate-dipper, mate.
->'''Flip:''' What about that bit where they're point all those guns at each other?

to:

->'''Milo:''' Bull-fuckin-shit! Bull-fucking-shit! Look, I love Danny here, but that doesn't mean I'm a fucking chocolate-dipper. I'm no fucking chocolate-dipper, mate.
->'''Flip:''' What about that bit where they're point pointing all those guns at each other?



->'''Danny:''' I knew this bloke once, right. And he used to masturbate so much that he grew very fond of his hand. So much so, that he began to talk to it and he put a little face on it and he called it Muriel. And after a while Muriel began to talk back to him. He would get her all doled up in make up and specially made little clothes and at night she'd go down and make intense mad passionate love to him. Anyway, one night about 3am, he wakes up in a cold sweat. And hears all this panting and moaning and groaning coming from the next door neighbour's apartment. And he looks down at his hand, there's nothing there. It’s gone. Its just this bloodied stump. So he staggers out into the hallway and he sees that the next door neighbour's doors is wide open. So he pops his head in and what does he see? On the bed, his hand, Muriel, all dressed up to the nines, make up on, going down on the next door neighbour.

to:

->'''Danny:''' I knew this bloke once, right. And he used to masturbate so much that he grew very fond of his hand. So much so, that he began to talk to it and he put a little face on it and he called it Muriel. And after a while Muriel began to talk back to him. He would get her all doled dolled up in make up make-up and specially made specially-made little clothes and at night she'd go down and make intense mad passionate intense, mad, passionate, love to him. Anyway, one night night, about 3am, 3 AM, he wakes up in a cold sweat. And he hears all this panting and moaning and groaning coming from the next door next-door neighbour's apartment. And he looks down at his hand, there's nothing there. It’s gone. Its just this bloodied stump. So he staggers out into the hallway and he sees that the next door next-door neighbour's doors is wide open. So he pops his head in and what does he see? On the bed, his hand, Muriel, all dressed up to the nines, make up make-up on, going down on the next door next-door neighbour.



->'''Danny:''' It's a true story

to:

->'''Danny:''' It's a true story
story.



->'''Flip:''' I’m moontanning, man. Full moon. You don’t get ‘em every day. No you don’t.

to:

->'''Flip:''' I’m moontanning, man. Full moon. You don’t get ‘em every day. No No, you don’t.



->'''Danny:''' Well, you could be just a projection of my inner psyche materialised, from my brain in order to keep me company.

to:

->'''Danny:''' Well, you could be just a projection of my inner psyche materialised, psyche, materialised from my brain in order to keep me company.



->'''Danny:''' Probably yours I reckon Flip.

to:

->'''Danny:''' Probably yours yours, I reckon reckon, Flip.



->'''Milo:''' We’re going to call him, ‘the Woomera.’ Think about it: ‘Go further and longer with the Woomera.’

to:

->'''Milo:''' We’re going to call him, him ‘the Woomera.’ Think about it: ‘Go further and longer with the Woomera.’



->'''Sam:''' Okay Tiger Girl, either we come up with the equivalent of Colombia’s national debt in the next 24 hours, or seriously consider some kind of ritualised mass suicide.

to:

->'''Sam:''' Okay Tiger Girl, how do we either we come up with the equivalent of Colombia’s national debt in the next 24 hours, or seriously consider some kind of ritualised mass suicide.suicide...?



->'''Milo (wearing a diaper, painted with Blair Witch symbols and drunk out of his skull):''' Hello you duds! Winter solstice blue moonth party!

to:

->'''Milo (wearing a diaper, painted with Blair Witch symbols and drunk out of his skull):''' Hello Hello, you duds! Winter solstice blue moonth party!



->'''Danny:''' Taylor, these ‘reinforcements’ of yours… they wouldn't be, by any chance, ''Nazis'' would they?

to:

->'''Danny:''' Taylor, these ‘reinforcements’ of yours… they wouldn't be, by any chance, ''Nazis'' ''Nazis'', would they?



->'''Taylor:''' I’ve been doing the figures, Danny boy. I’ve done all the dates, bought all the flowers, had all the candlelit dinners. Been to gallery openings, sat through the plays, expressed my feelings, came up with some new ones I never even knew I had. Said all the right things, told all the right lies, but still… still not one drop of affection down south.

to:

->'''Taylor:''' I’ve been doing the figures, Danny boy.Danny-boy. I’ve done all the dates, bought all the flowers, had all the candlelit dinners. Been to gallery openings, sat through the plays, expressed my feelings, came up with some new ones I never even knew I had. Said all the right things, told all the right lies, but still… still not one drop of affection down south.



->'''Taylor:''' So you know what I did? I got up, caught a cab to the red-light district, walked into a brothel, pulled out a hundred dollar bill, and a very nice girl took me into her room and had sex with me just like that! I’m a convert, Danny boy. A true believer.
->'''Iain:''' Just goes to show what a postmodern sort of guy he was I suppose.

to:

->'''Taylor:''' So you know what I did? I got up, caught a cab to the red-light district, walked into a brothel, pulled out a hundred dollar bill, and a very nice girl took me into her room and had sex with me just like that! I’m a convert, Danny boy.Danny-boy. A true believer.
->'''Iain:''' Just goes to show what a postmodern sort of guy he was was, I suppose.



->'''Danny:''' Why is 3 o'clock in the morning always the hour of choice to put on Nick Cave, get depressed and kill yourself? What's wrong with the middle of the day when everyone's awake and ready to call an ambulance?

to:

->'''Danny:''' Why is 3 o'clock in the morning always the hour of choice to put on a Nick Cave, Cave album, get depressed and kill yourself? What's wrong with the middle of the day day, when everyone's awake and ready to call an ambulance?



->'''Melbourne Detective:''' I'll tell you how this game works, Daniel. We're the cops - we get to ask the questions. You're the suspect, you get to complain about your civil liberties, perhaps get shot, maybe even killed. And it has to stay like that Daniel, otherwise everything falls out of balance. When things fall out of balance, you know what happens then, don't you Daniel? Your spiritual values start to decline. You get your disintegration of your social structure, don't you? System collapses. Pestilence, flood, famine. It happened to the Romans, it happened to the Greeks, it happened to the ancient Mesopotamians. And we don't want it happening to us, now do we Daniel?

to:

->'''Melbourne Detective:''' I'll tell you how this game works, Daniel. We're the cops - cops, we get to ask the questions. You're the suspect, you get to complain about your civil liberties, perhaps get shot, maybe even killed. And it has to stay like that that, Daniel, otherwise everything falls out of balance. When things fall out of balance, you know what happens then, don't you you, Daniel? Your spiritual values start to decline. You get your disintegration of your social structure, don't you? System collapses. Pestilence, flood, famine. It happened to the Romans, it happened to the Greeks, it happened to the ancient Mesopotamians. And we don't want it happening to us, now do we we, Daniel?




to:

->'''Sam''': *rolls back over* Great.

Changed: 655

Removed: 654

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->'''Danny:''' I knew this bloke once, right. And he used to masturbate so much that he grew very fond of his hand. So much so, that he began to talk to it and he put a little face on it and he called it Muriel. And after a while Muriel began to talk back to him.
He would get her all doled up in make up and specially made little clothes and at night she'd go down and make intense mad passionate love to him. Anyway, one night about 3am, he wakes up in a cold sweat. And hears all this panting and moaning and groaning coming from the next door neighbour's apartment. And he looks down at his hand, there's nothing there. It’s gone. Its just this bloodied stump. So he staggers out into the hallway and he sees that the next door neighbour's doors is wide open. So he pops his head in and what does he see? On the bed, his hand, Muriel, all dressed up to the nines, make up on, going down on the next door neighbour.

to:

->'''Danny:''' I knew this bloke once, right. And he used to masturbate so much that he grew very fond of his hand. So much so, that he began to talk to it and he put a little face on it and he called it Muriel. And after a while Muriel began to talk back to him. \n He would get her all doled up in make up and specially made little clothes and at night she'd go down and make intense mad passionate love to him. Anyway, one night about 3am, he wakes up in a cold sweat. And hears all this panting and moaning and groaning coming from the next door neighbour's apartment. And he looks down at his hand, there's nothing there. It’s gone. Its just this bloodied stump. So he staggers out into the hallway and he sees that the next door neighbour's doors is wide open. So he pops his head in and what does he see? On the bed, his hand, Muriel, all dressed up to the nines, make up on, going down on the next door neighbour.

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