History Quotes / GunsAreWorthless

-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/StarWars: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- UsefulNotes/PlayStation (1997)

->''"[[LampshadeHanging Guns have the advantage of range, but damage is less compared to swords]]."''

-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- UsefulNotes/PlayStation (1997)

->''You remember the story about ''Literature/{{John Carter of Mars}}''. He was Edgar Rice Burroughs' hero, and he galloped all over Mars on whatever passed for a horse up there. One day he was attacked and chased by a band of villains who started hacking at him with their swords. Carter of Mars drew his own trusty blade and started hacking back at them, while trying to make it up the castle stairs. But they were too much for him. First he lost a leg. Then an arm. They were gaining on him. "[[GenreSavvy The hell with this]]," said John Carter, throwing away his sword, [[NeverBringAKnifeToAGunFight drawing his atomic ray gun]] and zapping the bad guys into a radioactive ash heap. I think about that story every time I see a kung fu movie, because kung fu movies depend upon the same unwritten rules as ''John Carter'' novels: Nobody can have a gun.''

-> ''[[PreAssKickingOneLiner I have to kill fast and bullets too slow]]''

-->-- Uncyclopedia's page on VideoGame/RealLife

-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- PlayStation (1997)

-->-- '''Michael Westen''', ''BurnNotice''

-->-- '''[[RetiredGunfighter The Waco Kid]]''', ''BlazingSaddles''

->''You remember the story about ''{{John Carter of Mars}}''. He was Edgar Rice Burroughs' hero, and he galloped all over Mars on whatever passed for a horse up there. One day he was attacked and chased by a band of villains who started hacking at him with their swords. Carter of Mars drew his own trusty blade and started hacking back at them, while trying to make it up the castle stairs. But they were too much for him. First he lost a leg. Then an arm. They were gaining on him. "[[GenreSavvy The hell with this]]," said John Carter, throwing away his sword, [[NeverBringAKnifeToAGunFight drawing his atomic ray gun]] and zapping the bad guys into a radioactive ash heap. I think about that story every time I see a kung fu movie, because kung fu movies depend upon the same unwritten rules as ''John Carter'' novels: Nobody can have a gun.''

-> ''Don't shoot him. You'll just make him mad.''

-> ''They don't work on anything these days...''

-> ''[[BadassBoast I have to kill fast and bullets too slow]]''

->''You remember the story about ''{{John Carter of Mars}}''. He was Edgar Rice Burroughs' hero, and he galloped all over Mars on whatever passed for a horse up there. One day he was attacked and chased by a band of villains who started hacking at him with their swords.\\
\\
Carter of Mars drew his own trusty blade and started hacking back at them, while trying to make it up the castle stairs. But they were too much for him. First he lost a leg. Then an arm. They were gaining on him. "[[GenreSavvy The hell with this]]," said John Carter, throwing away his sword, [[NeverBringAKnifeToAGunFight drawing his atomic ray gun]] and zapping the bad guys into a radioactive ash heap.\\
\\
I think about that story every time I see a kung fu movie, because kung fu movies depend upon the same unwritten rules as ''John Carter'' novels: Nobody can have a gun.''

->'''Prophet:''' Gosh, I just love exterminating my fellow man with the most advanced projectile weaponry in existence, but sometimes I think that if I could pick the bullets ''out'' of the ruined bodies of my victims, put them ''back'' into my guns and use them ''again'', it would be so much more productive! But there's no way I can do that, is there?\\
'''Psycho:''' [[WalkInChimeIn Well, Prophet]], have you tried [[TheStraightAndArrowPath Bow and Arrow]]™?\\
'''Prophet:''' Bow and Arrow™, you say?\\
'''Psycho:''' Yes! Not only does Bow and Arrow™ allow ammo recovery, but it's also silent, can be fired without de-cloaking, and does about twelve times the damage of a bullet for some reason!\\
'''Prophet:''' Gosh, Psycho, Bow and Arrow™ sounds so convenient it almost makes you wonder why they were completely supplanted by guns '''''fucking centuries ago'''''!
-->--'''''ZeroPunctuation''''', ''{{Crysis}} 3''

'''Psycho:''' [[WalkInChimeIn Well, Prophet]], have you tried Bow and Arrow™?\\

->'''Prophet:''' Gosh, I just love exterminating my fellow man with the most advanced projectile weaponry in existence, but sometimes I think that if I could pick the bullets ''out'' of the ruined bodies of my victims, put them ''back'' into my guns and use them ''again'', it would be so much more productive! But there's no way I can do that, is there?"\\

-->--'''''ZeroPunctuation''''', ''Crysis3''

-->-- '''[[TheGunslinger Riza Hawkeye]]''', ''FullmetalAlchemist''

->''Human society recruits {{starship troopers}} to fight the Bug. Their method is to machine-gun them to death. This does not work very well.''
-->--'''RogerEbert'''

->''Human society recruits {{starhip troopers}} to fight the Bug. Their method is to machine-gun them to death. This does not work very well.''